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ECCÈ SIGNUM.
I could not help laughing to observe on the one side of this jolly personage a portrait of the little female Giovanni Vestris, under which some wag had inscribed, "A Mistress of Hearts," and on the other a full-length of Jackson the pugilist, with this motto—"A striking likeness of a fancy lecturer."
26 An Herman—At Pembroke, a large silver tankard, holdingtwo quarts and half a pint, so called from the donor, Mr.George Overman. The late John Hudson, the college tonsorandcommon room man,{*} was famous for having severaltimes, for trifling wagers, drank a full overman of strongbeer off at a draught. A Tun, another vessel in use atPembroke, is a half pint silver cup. A Whistler, a silverpint tankard also in use there, was the gift of Mr. AnthonyWhistler, a cotemporary with Shenstone.* Common room man, a servant who is entirely employed inattending upon the members of the common room.Junior common room, a room in every college, except ChristChurch, set apart for the junior members to drink wine inand read the newspapers.N.B. There is but one common room at Christ Church; none butmasters of arts and noblemen can be members of it,—thelatter but seldom attend. The last who attended was the lateDuke of Dorset. All common rooms are regularly furnishedwith newspapers and magazines.Curator of the common rooms.-A senior master of arts, whobuys the wine and inspects the accounts.
In the centre of the opposite side hung the portrait of an oldscout, formerly of Brazennose, whose head now forms the admission ticket to the college club. Right and left were disposed the plaster busts of Aristotle and Cicero; the former noseless, and the latter with his eyes painted black, and a huge pair of mustachios annexed. A few volumes of the Latin and Greek classics were thrown into a heap in one corner of the room, while numerous modern sporting publications usurped their places on the book shelves, richly gilt and bound in calf, but not lettered. The hunting cap, whip, and red coat were hung up like a trophy between two foxes' tails, which served the purpose of bell pulls. At this moment, my topographical observations were disturbed by the arrival of the scout with candles, and two strange-looking fellows in smock frocks, bringing in, as I supposed, a piano forte, but which, upon being placed on the table, proved to be a mere case: the top being taken off, the sides and ends let down in opposite directions, and the cloth pulled out straight, displayed an elegant dinner, smoking hot, and arranged in as much form as if the college butler had superintended the feast. "Come, old fellow," said Tom, "turn to—no ceremony. I hope, Jem," addressing his scout, "you took care that nocollege telegraph{27} was at work while you were smuggling the dinner in." "I made certain sure of that, sir," said Jem; "for I placed Captain Cook{28} sentinel at one corner of the quadrangle, and old Brady at the other, with directions to whistle, as a signal, if they saw any of thedonsupon the look out."
Finding we were not likely to be interrupted by thedomine, Tom took the chair. The fellows in the smock frocks threw off their disguises, and proved to be two genteelly dressed waiters from one of the inns. "Close the oak, Jem," said Horace Eglantine, "and take care no one knocks in{29} before we have knocked down the contents of your master's musical melange." "Punningas usual, Eglantine," said the Honourable Mr. Sparkle, a gentleman commoner. "Yes; andpun-ishing too, old fellow!" said Horace. "Where's thecold tankard,{30} Echo?
27 A college telegraph—A servant of a college, who carriesan account of every trifling offence committed, either bygentlemen or servants, to the college officers.28 Well-known characters in Christ Church.29 Knocking in—Going into college after half-past ten atnight. The names of the gentlemen who knock in are enteredby the porter in a book kept for that purpose, and the nextmorning it is carried to the dean and censors, who generallycall upon the parties so offending to account for being outof college at so late an hour. A frequent recurrence of thispractice will sometimes draw from the dean a very severereprimand.Knocking in money—Fines levied for knocking into college atimproper hours: the first fine is fixed at half-past ten,and increased every half hour afterwards. These fines areentered on the batter book, and charged among the battelsand decrements,* a portion of which is paid to the porterquarterly, for being knocked up.30 Cold tankard—A summer beverage, used at dinner, made ofbrandy, cider, or perry, lemons cut in slices, cold water,sugar, nutmeg, cinnamon, and the herbs balm and burridge.Sometimes sherry or port wine is substituted for cider. Thetankard is put into a pitcher, which is iced in a tub,procured from the confectioners.* Decrements.—The use of knives, folks, spoons, and othernecessaries, with the firing, &c. for the hall and chapel.
We must give our oldcon, Blackmantle, a warm reception." "Sure, that's a Paddyism"{31} said a young Irish student. "Nothing of the sort," replied Horace: "are we not all here the sons of Isis (Ices)? and tell me where will you find a group of warmer hearted souls?" "Bravo! bravo!" shouted the party. "That fellow Eglantine will create anotherPun-ic war," said Sparkle. "I move that we have him crossed in the buttery{32} for making us laugh during dinner, to the great injury of our digestive organs, and the danger of suffocation." "What! deprive an Englishman of his right to battel{33}" said Echo: "No; I would sooner inflict the orthodox fine of a double bumper ofbishop." "Bravo!" said Horace: "then I plead guilty, and swallow the imposition." "I'll thank you for a cut out of the back of thatlion,"{34} tittered a man opposite. With all the natural timidity of the hare whom he thus particularised, I was proceeding to help him, when Echo inquired if he should send me the breast of a swiss {35} and the facetious Eglantine, to increase my confusion, requested to be allowed to cut me a slice off the wing of a wool bird.{36}
31 A Paddyism is called in this university a "Thorpism" fromMr. Thorp, formerly a hosier of some note in the city. Hewas famous for making blunders and coining new words, wasvery fond of making long speeches, and when uponthe toe,never failed to convulse his hearers with laughter.32 Crossed in the buttery—not allowed to battel, apunishment for missing lecture. By being frequently crossed,a man will lose his term.33 Battels—Bread, butter, cheese, salt, eggs, &c.34 A lion—a hare.35 Siciss—a pheasant.36 Wing of a wool bird—Shoulder of lamb.
To have remonstrated against this species of persecution would, I knew, only increase my difficulties; summoning, therefore, all the gaiety I was master of to my aid, I appeared to participate in the joke, like many a modernroué, laughing in unison without comprehending the essence of the whim, merely because it was the fashion. What a helpless race, old father Etona, are thine (thought I), when first they assume the Oxford man; spite of thy fostering care and classic skill, thy offspring are here little better than cawkers{37} or wild Indians. "Is there no glossary of university wit," said I, "to be purchased here, by which the fresh may be instructed in the art of conversation; noLexicon Balatronicumof college eloquence, by which the ignorant may be enlightened?" "Plenty, old fellow," said Echo: "old Grose is exploded; but, never fear, I will introduce you to theDictionnaire Universel,{38} which may always be consulted, at ourold grandmammas' in St. Clement's, or Eglantine can introduce you at Vincent's,{39} where better known as the poor curate of H——, crossed the channel.
37 Cawker—an Eton phrase for a stranger or novice.38 Dictionnaire Universel—a standing toast in the commonroom at——-College.The origin of the toast is as follows: When Buonaparte wasat Elba, Dr. E-, one of the wealthy senior Fellows of ——College.
Soon after his arrival at Paris, as he was walking through the streets of that city, he was accosted by an elegantly dressed Cyprian, to whom he made a profound bow, and told her (in English), that he was not sufficiently acquainted with the French language to comprehend what she had said to him, expressing his regret that he had not his French and English dictionary with him. Scarcely had he pronounced the word dictionary, when the lady, by a most astonishing display, which in England would have disgraced the lowest of the frail sisterhood, exclaimed, "Behold the Dictionnaire Universel, which has been opened by the learned of all nations."{39} Dr. E—, on his return from France, related this anecdote in the common room at ————-, and the Dictionnaire universel has ever since been a standing toast there.
39 A well known respectable bookseller near Brazennose, whohas published a whimsical trifle under the title of "Oxfordin Epitome" very serviceable to freshmen. You may purchase"Oxford in Epitome," with a Key accompaniment explaining thewhole art and mystery of thefinished style.
After a dissertation uponnew college puddings,{40} rather a choice dish, an elegant dessert and ices was introduced from Jubbers.{41} The glass now circulated freely, and the open-hearted mirth of my companions gave me a tolerable idea of many of the leading eccentricities of a collegian's life. The Oxford toast, the college divinity, was, I found, a Miss W-, whose father is a wealthy horse-dealer, and whom all agreed was a very amiable and beautiful girl. I discovered that Sadler, Randal, and Crabbe were rum ones for prime hacks—that theEsculapii diiof the university, the demi-gods of medicine and surgery, were Messrs. Wall and Tuckwell—that all proctors were tyrants, and their men savage bull dogs—that good wine was seldom to be bought in Oxford by students—and pretty girls were always to be met at Bagley Wood—that rowing a fellow{42} was considered good sport, and an idle master{43} a jolly dog—that all tradesmen were duns, and all gownsmen suffering innocents—and lastly.
40 New College puddings—a favourite dish with freshmen,made of grated biscuit, eggs, suet, moist sugar, currantsand lemon-peel, rolled into balls of an oblong shape, friedin boiling fat, and moistened with brandy.41 A celebrated Oxford pastry-cook.42 Rowing a fellow—going with a party in the dead of thenight to a man's room, nailing or screwing his oak up, so asit cannot be opened on the inside, knocking at his door,calling out fire, and when he comes to the door, burning aquantity of shavings, taken from halfpenny faggots dipped inoil from the staircase lamps, so as to impress him with anidea that the staircase, in which his rooms are, is on fire.And when he is frightened almost out of his senses, settingup a most hideous horse-laugh and running away. This jokeis practised chiefly upon quiet timid men.43 An idle master—a Master of Arts on the foundation, whodoes not take pupils.
I was informed that a freshman was a scamp without seasoning—and a fellow of no spirit till he had been pulled up before the big wig and suffered imposition{44} fine, and rustication.{45}
It was now half an hour since oldMagnus Thomashad tolled his heavy note, most of the party were a little cut,{46} and the salt pits of attic wit had long since been drained to the very bottom—Sparkle proposed an adjournment to the Temple of Bacchus,{47} while Echo and a man of Trinity set forth for the plains of Betteris.{48} Pleading the fatigues of the day, and promising to attend a spread{49} on the morrow to be given by Horace Eglantine, I was permitted to depart to my inn, having first received a caution from Echo to steer clear of the Don Peninsula{50} and the seat of magistracy.{51}
On regaining my inn, I was not a little surprised to hear the smirking barmaid announce me by my christian and surname, directing the waiter to place candles for Mr. Bernard Blackmantle in thesanctum. How the deuce, thought I, have these people discovered my family nomenclature, or are we here under the same system ofespionageas the puerile inhabitants of France, where every hotel-keeper, waiter, and servant, down to the very shoe-black, is a spy upon your actions, and a creature in the pay of the police{52} "Pray, waiter," said I, "why is this snug little _larium__ designated the sanctum_?"
44 Imposition—translations set by the Principal for absenceand other errors.45 Rustication is the term applied to temporary dismissalfor non-observance of college discipline.46 A little cut—half seas over.47 Temple of Bacchus—some favourite inn.48 Plains of Betteris—the diversion of billiards.49 A spread—a wine party.50 The Don Peninsula—the range of all who wear long blackhanging sleeves, and bear the name of Domini.51 Seat of magistracy—proctor's authority.52 The tact of the Oxford tradesmen in this particular isvery ingenious.—The strength of a man's account is alwaysregulated by the report they receive on his entering, fromsome college friend, respecting the wealth of his relations,or the weight of his expectancies.
"Because it's extra-proctorial, sir: none of the townraffare ever admitted into it, and the marshal and his bull dogs never think of intruding here. With your leave, sir, I'll send in master—he will explain things better; and mayhap, sir, as you are fresh, he may give you a little useful information." "Do so,—send me in a bottle of old Madeira and two glasses, and tell your master I shall be happy to see him." In a few moments I was honoured with the company of mine host of the Mitre, who, to do him justice, was a more humorous fellow than I had anticipated. Not quite so ceremonious as he of the Christopher at Eton, or the superlative of a Bond-streetrestaurateur; but with an unembarrassed roughness, yet respectful demeanour, that partook more of the sturdy English farmer, or an old weather-beaten sportsman, than the picture I had figured to myself of the polished landlord of the principal inn in the sacred city of learning. We are too much the creatures of prejudice in this life, and first impressions are not unfrequently the first faults which we unthinkingly commit against the reputation of a new acquaintance. Master Peake was, I discovered, a fellow of infinite jest, an old fox-hunter, and a true sportsman; and supposing me, from my introduction by Tom Echo to his house, to be as fond of a good horse, a hard run, and a black bottle, as my friend, he had eagerly sought an opportunity for this early introduction. "No man in the country, sir," said Peake, "can boast of a better horse or a better wife: I always leave the management of the bishop's cap to the petticoat; for look ye, sir, gown against gown is the true orthodox system, I believe.—When I kept the Blue Pig{53} by the Town Hall, the big wigs used to grunt a little now and then about the gemmen of the university gettingboskyin apig-sty; so, egad, I thought I would fix them at last, and removed here; for I knew it would be deemed sacrilegious to attack the mitre, or hazard a pun upon the head of the church.
53 The Blue Boar, since shut up.
If ever you should betiledup inEager heaven,{54} there's not a kinder hearted soul in Christendom than Mrs. Peake: Dr. Wall says that he thinks she has saved more gentlemen's lives in this university by good nursing and sending them niceties, than all the material medicals put together. You'll excuse me, sir, but as you are fresh, take care to avoid thegulls{55}; they fly about here in large flocks, I assure you, and do no little mischief at times." "I never understood that gulls were birds of prey," said I.—"Only in Oxford, sir; and here, I assure you, they bite like hawks, and pick many a poor young gentleman as bare before his three years are expired, as the crows would a dead sheep upon a common. Every thing depends upon your obtaining an honest scout, and that's a sort ofharo ravis(I think they call the bird) here." Suppressing my laughter at my host's Latinity, I thought this a fair opportunity to make some inquiries relative to this important officer in a college establishment.
"I suppose you know most of these ambassadors of the togati belonging to the different colleges'?" "I think I do, sir," said Peake, "if you mean the scouts; but I never heard them called by that name before. If you are of Christ Church, I should recommend Dick Cook, or, as he is generally called, Gentleman Cook, as the most finished, spritely, honest fellow of the whole. Dick's a trump, and no telegraph,—up to every frisk, and down to every move of the domini, thorough bred, and no want of courage?"
54 Æager haven—laid up in the depot of invalids.55 Gulls—knowing ones who are always on the look out forfreshmen.
"But not having the honour of being entered there, I cannot avail myself of Dick's services: pray tell me, who is there at Brazennose that a young fellow can make a confidant of?" "Why, the very best old fellow in the world,—nothing like him in Oxford,—rather aged, to be sure, but a good one to go, and a rum one to look at;—I have known Mark Supple these fifty years, and never heard a gentleman give him a bad word: shall I send for him, sir? he's the very man to put youup to a thing or two, and finish you off in prime style." "In the morning, I'll see him, and if he answers your recommendation, engage with him: "for, thought I, such a man will be very essential, if it is only to act as interpreter to a young novice like myself.
The conversation now turned to sporting varieties, by which I discovered mine host was a leading character in the neighbouring hunts; knew every sportsman in the field, and in the course of half an hour, carried me over Godrington's manors, Moystoris district, and Somerset range,{56} taking many a bold leap in his progress, and never losingsight of the dogs. "We shall try your mettle, sir," said he, "if we catch you out for a day's sport; and if you are not quite mounted at present to your mind, I have always a spare nag in the stable for the use of a freshman."
56 The three packs of hounds contiguous to Oxford.
Though I did not relish the concluding appellation, coming from a tavern-keeper, I could not help thanking Peake for his liberal offer; yet without any intention of risking my neck in a steeple chase. The interview had, however, been productive of some amusement and considerable information. The bottle was now nearly finished; filling my last glass, I drank success to the Mitre, promised to patronise the landlord, praise the hostess, coquet with the little cherry-cheek, chirping lass in the bar, and kiss as many of the chamber-maids as I could persuade to let me. Wishing mine host a good night, and ringing for my bed-candle, I proceeded to put the last part of my promise into immediate execution.
Descriptive Sketch of a College Scout—Biography of MarkSupple—Singular Invitation to a Spread.
The next morning, early, while at breakfast, I received a visit from Mr. Mark Supple, thescout, of whom mine host of the Mitre had on the preceding night spoken so highly. There was nothing certainly very prepossessing in his exterior appearance; and if he had not previously been eulogised as the most estimable of college servants, I should not have caught the impression from a first glance. He was somewhere about sixty years of age, of diminutive stature and spare habit, a lean brother with a scarlet countenance, impregnated with tints of many a varied hue, in which however the richness of the ruby and the soft purple of the ultramarine evidently predominated. His forehead was nearly flat; upon his eyebrows and over hisos frontisand scalp, a few straggling straight hairs were extended as an apology for a wig, but which was much more like a discarded crow's nest turned upside down. Immense black bushy eyebrows overhung a pair of the queerest looking oculars I had ever seen; below which sprung forth what had once been, no doubt, a nose, and perhaps in youth an elegant feature; but, Heaven help the wearer! it was now grown into such a strange form, and presented so many choice exuberances, that one might have supposed it was the original Bardolph's, and charged with the additional sins of every succeeding generation. The loss of histeeth had caused the other lip to retire inwards, and consequently the lower one projected forth, supported by a huge chin, like the basin or receiver round the crater of a volcano.
His costume was of a fashion admirably corresponding with his person. It might once have graced a dean, or, perhaps, a bishop, but it was evident the present wearer was not by when theartisteof the needle took his measure or instructions. Three men of Mark's bulk might very well have been buttoned up in the upper habiliment; and as for theinexpressibles, they hung round hisultimatumlike the petticoat trowsers of a Dutch smuggler: then for the colour, it might once have been sable or a clerical mixture; but what with the powder which the collar bore evidence it had once been accustomed to, and the weather-beaten trials it had since undergone, it was quite impossible to specify. Thebeaverwas in excellent keeping,en suite, except, perhaps, from the constant application of the hand to pay due respect to the dignitaries, it was here and there enriched with some more shining qualities. I at first suspected this ancient visitor was a hoax of my friend Tom Echo's, who had concerted the scheme with the landlord; but a little conversation with the object of my surprise soon convinced me it was the genuine Mark Supple, the true collegescout, and no counterfeit.
"The welcome of Isis to you, sir," said the old man. "The domini of the bishops cap here gave me a hint you wished to see me.—I have the honour to be Mark Supple, sir, senior scout of Brazennose, and as well known to all the members of the university for the last fifty years, as Magdalen bridge, or old Magnus Thomas. The first of your name, sir, I think, who have been of Oxford—don't trace any of the Blackmantles here antecedent—turned over my list this morning before I came—got them all arranged, sir, take notice, in chronological order, from the friars ofOseny abbey down to the university of bucks of 1824—very entertaining, sir, take notice—many a glorious name peeping out here and there—very happy to enrol the first of the Blackmantles in my remembrancer, and hope to add M. A. and M. S. S. which signifies honour to you, as master of arts, and glory to your humble servant, Mark Supple Scout—always put my own initials against the gentleman's names whom I have attended, take notice." The singularity of the ancient's climax amused me exceedingly—there was something truly original in the phrase: the person and manners of the man were in perfect keeping. "You must have seen great changes here, Mark," said I; "were you always of Brazennose?" "I was born of Christ Church, sir, take notice, where my father was college barber, and my mother a bed-maker; but the students of that period insisted upon it that I was so like to a certain old big wig, whose Christian name was Mark, that I most censoriously obtained the appellation from at least a hundred godfathers, to the no small annoyance of the dignitary, take notice. My first occupation, when a child, was carrying billet doux from the students of Christ Church to the tradesmen's daughters of Oxford, or the nuns of St. Clement's, where a less important personage might have excited suspicion and lost his situation. From a college Mercury, I became a college devil, and was promoted to the chief situation inglorio,{1} aliashell, where I continued for some time a shining character, and sharpened the edge of many a cutting thing, take notice. Here, some wag having a design upon my reputation, put a large piece of cobbler's wax into the dean's boots one morning, which so irritated thebig wigthat I was instantly expelled college, discommoned, and blown up at point non plus, take notice.
1 Glorio.—A place in Christ Church called the scout'spantry, where the boots and shoes and knives are cleaned,and a small quantity of Geneva, or Bill Holland's double, isdaily consumed during term time.
Having saved a trifle, I now commenced stable-keeper, bought a few prime hacks, and mounted some of the best tandem turn outs in Oxford, take notice: but not having wherewithal to stand tick, and being much averse to dunning, I was soon sold up, and got a birth in Brazennose as college scout, where I have now been upwards of forty years, take notice. No gentleman could ever say old Mark Supple deceived him. I have run many risks for the gown; never cared for the town; always stuck up for my college, and never telegraphed the big wigs in my life, take notice."—"Is your name Blackmantle?" said a sharp-looking little fellow, in a grey frock livery, advancing up to me with as muchsang froidas if I had been one of the honest fraternity of college servants. Being answered in the affirmative, and receiving at the same time a look that convinced him I was not pleased with his boldness, he placed the following note in my hand and retired.{2}
2 The usual style of invitation to a college wine party orspread.
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The above is an exact copy of a note received from a man ofBrazennose.
Handing the note to old Mark—"Pray," said I, not a little confused by the elegance of the composition, "is this the usual style of college invitations?" Mark mounted his spectacles, and having deciphered the contents, assured me with great gravity that it was very polite indeed, and considering where it came from, unusually civil.
Another specimen of college ceremony, thought I;—"But come, Mark, let us forth and survey my rooms." We were soon within-side the gates of Brazennose; and Mark having obtained the key, we proceeded to explore the forsaken chamber of the Muses.
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Topography of a vacant College Larium—Anecdotes andPropensities of Predecessors—A long Shot—Scout's List ofNecessaries—Condolence of University Friends.
Ascending a dark stone staircase till the oaken beams of the roof proclaimed we had reached the domiciliary abode of genius, I found myself in the centre of my future habitation, an attic on the third floor: I much doubt if poor Belzoni, when he discovered the Egyptian sepulchre, could have exhibited more astonishment. The old bed-maker, and the scout of my predecessor, had prepared the apartment for my reception by gutting it of every thing useful to the value of a cloak pin: the former was engaged in sweeping up the dust, which, from the clouds that surrounded us, would not appear to have been disturbed for six months before at least. I had nearly broken my shins, on my first entrance, over the fire-shovel and bucket, and I was now in more danger of being choked with filth. "Who inhabited this delightful place before, Mark?" "A mad wag, but a generous gentleman, Sir, take notice, one Charles Rattle, Esq., who was expelled college for smuggling, take notice: the proctor, with the town marshal and his bull dogs, detected him and two others one night drawing up some fresh provision in the college plate-basket. Mr. Rattle, in his fright, dropped the fair nun of St. Clement's plump upon the proctor, who could not understand the joke; but, having recoveredhis legs, entered the college, and found one of the fair sisters concealed in Mr. Rattle's room, take notice. In consequence he was next day pulled up before the big wigs, when, refusing to make a suitable apology, he received sentence of expulsion, take notice." "He must have been a genius," quoth I, "and a very eccentric one too, from the relics he has left behind of his favourite propensities." In one corner of the room lay deposited a heap of lumber, thrown together, as a printer would say, inpie, composed of broken tables, broken bottles, trunks, noseless bellows, books of all descriptions, a pair ofmuffles, and the cap of sacred academus with a hole through the crown (emblematical, I should think, of the pericranium it had once covered), and stuck upon the leg of a broken chair. The rats, those very agreeable visitors of ancient habitations, were seen scampering away upon our entrance, and the ceiling was elegantly decorated with the smoke of a candle in a great variety of ornamented designs, consisting of caricatures of dignitaries and the Christian names of favourite damsels. There was poor Cicero, with a smashed crown, turned upside down in the fire-place, and a map of Oxford hanging in tatters above it; a portrait of Tom Crib was in the space adjoining the window, not one whole pane of which had survived the general wreck; but what most puzzled me was the appearance of the cupboard door: the bottom hinge had given way, and it hung suspended by one joint in an oblique direction, exhibiting, on an inside face, a circle chalked for a target and perforated with numerous holes This door was in a right line with the bedroom, and, when thrown open, covered a loop-hole of a window that looked across the quadrangle directly into the principal's apartments.{1}
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It was in this way (as Mark informed me) my predecessor amused himself in a morning by lying in bed and firing at the target, till, unhappily, on one occasion the ball passed through a hole in the door, the loop-hole window, and, crossing the quadrangle, entered whizzing past the dignitary's ear and that of his family who were at breakfast with him into the back of the chair he had but a moment before providentially quitted to take a book from his library shelves.1 The affair occasioned a strict search, and the door in question bore too strong an evidence to escape detection; Rattle was rusticated for a term, but, returning the same singular character, was always in some scrape or other till his final expulsion. Having given the necessary orders for repairs, Mark made one of his best bows, and produced a long scroll of paper, on which was written a list of necessaries?{2} "which," said the ancient, "take notice, every gentleman provides on his taking possession of his rooms." "And every gentleman's scout claims upon his leaving, take notice" said I. Mark bowed assent.
I had now both seen and heard enough of college comforts to wish myself safe back again at Eton in the snug, clean, sanded dormitory of my old dame. Looking first at my purse and then at the list of necessaries, I could not resist a sigh on perceiving mynew guinea{3} to be already in danger, that it would require some caution to steer clear of the forest of debt,{4} and keep out ofsouth jeopardy,{5} and some talent to gain thenew settlements{6} or prevent my being ultimately laid up in theriver tick{7} condemned in theVice-Chancellor's court,{8} and consigned, for the benefit of the captors, tofort marshal.{9}
1 The circumstance here alluded to actually occurred sometime since, when G- C-n and Lord C-e nearly shot Dr.Capplestone of Oriel and his predecessor, Dr. Eveleigh: theformer was expelled in consequence.2 A list of necessaries consists of all the necessaryculinary articles, tea equipage, brooms, brushes, pails, &c.&c. &c.3 New guinea—First possession of income.4 Forest of debt—payment of debts.5 South jeopardy—terrors of insolvency.6 Next settlements—final reckoning.7 River tick—springing out of standing debts, which only==>
8 Vice-Chancellor's court—creditor's last shift.9 Fort marshal—university marshal's post, charge themselvesat the expiration of three years by leaving the lake ofcredit, and meandering through the haunts of a hundredcreditors.
"Rather romantic, but not elegant," said some voices at the door, which, on turning my head, I discovered to be my two friends, Echo and Eglantine, who, suspecting the state of the rooms, from the known character of the previous occupier, had followed me up stairs to enjoy the pleasure of quizzing a novice. "A snug appointment this, old fellow," said Echo. "Very airy and contemplative" rejoined Eglantine, pointing first to the broken window, and after to the mutilated remains of books and furniture. "Quite the larium of a man of genius," continued the former, "and very fine scope for the exhibition of improved taste." "And an excellent opportunity for raillery," quoth I. "Well, old fellow," said Tom, "I wish you safe throughdun territory{10} and thepreserve of long bills{11}: if you are not pretty wellblunted,{12} the first start will tryyour wind." "Courage, Blackmantle," said Eglantine, "we must not have you laid up here in themarshes of impediment{13} with all the horrors ofeast jeopardy,{14} as if you was lost in thecave of antiquity{15}: rally, my old fellow, forthe long hope,{16}shoot pastmounts
10 Dun territory—circle of creditors to be paid.11 Preserve of long bills—stock of debts to be discharged.12 Blunted—London slang for plenty of money.13 Marshes of impediment—troublesome preparation for theschools.14 East jeopardy—terrors of anticipation.15 Cave of antiquity—depot of old authors.16 The long hope—Johnson defines "a Hope" to be any slopingplain between two ridges of mountains. Here it is the symbolof long expectations in studying for a degree.
Aldrich and Euclid,{17} theRoman tumuli{18} andPoint Failure{19} and then, having gainedFount Stagira{20} pass easily throughLittlego Vale,{21} reach the summit of thePindaric heights{22} and set yourself down easy in thetemple of Bacchus{23} and theregion of rejoicing"{24} "Or if you should fall a sacrifice in the district of {sappers,{25} old fellow!" said Echo, "or founder inDodd's sound,{26} why, you can retreat toCam Roads,{27} or lay up for life in theBay of Condolence."{28} "For heaven's sake, let us leave theGulf of Misery," said I, alluding to the state of my rooms, "and bend our course where some more amusing novelty presents itself." "To Bagley wood," said Echo, "to break cover and introduce you to the Egyptians; only I must give my scout directions first to see the old bookseller{29} and have myimposition{30} ready for being absent from chapel this morning, or else I shall be favoured with another
17 Mount Aldrich, mount Euclid—logic and mathematics.18 Tumuli raised by the Romans—difficulties offered by Livyand Tacitus in the studies for first class honours.19 Point Failure—catastrophe of plucking.20 Fount Stagira—fount named after the birth-place of Aris-totle.21 Littlego Vale—orderly step to the first examination.22 Pindaric heights—study of Pindar's odes.23 Temple of Bacchus—merry-making after getting a liceat.24 Region of rejoicing—joy attendant on success in theschools.25 District of sabers—track of those who sap at their quartoand folio volumes.26 Dodd's sound—where the candidate will have toacknowledge the receipt of a certificate empowering him tofloat down Bachelor Creek.27 Cam Roads—retreat to Cambridge by way of a change.28 Bay of Condolence—where we console our friends, ifplucked, and left at a nonplus.29 A well-known bookseller in Oxford generally calledimposition G-, from his preparing translations for themembers of the university.30 Imposition—see prick bill.
visit from theprick bill."{31} "Agreed," said Eglantine, "and Blackmantle and myself will, in the meantime, visit Sadler, and engage a couple of his prime hacks to accompany you."
31 Prick bills—at Christ Church, junior students who prickwith a pin the names of those gentlemen who are at chapel.Immediately after the service, the bills, with the noblemenand gentlemen commoners' names, are taken to the dean; thosewith the students and commoners' names, to the acting censorfor the week; and the bachelors' bills to the sub-dean, whogenerally inform the prick bills what impositions shall beset those gentlemen who absented themselves from chapel:these are written upon strips of paper and carried to thegentlemen by the prick bill's scouts.Copy of an original imposition."Sp 259 particular M M C. P. B."—Signifies translate No. 259Spectator to the word "particular" by Monday morning atchapel time.—Prick bill.
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Oxford Scholars and Oxford Livery Men—How to insure a goodHorse and prevent Accidents—Description of Bagley Wood—AFreshman breaking cover—Interview with the Egyptian—Secrets of Futurity unveiled—Abingdon Beauties—SingularAnecdote and History of Mother Goose.
The ride to Bagley Wood introduced me to some new features of a college life, not the least entertaining of which was the dialogue before starting between my friend Eglantine, the livery-stable keeper, and his man, where we went to engage the horses.
Eglan. (to the ostler) Well, Dick, what sort of a stud, hey? any thing rum, a ginger or a miller, three legs or five, got by Whirlwind out of Skyscraper? Come, fig out two lively ones.
Dick. I mun see measter first, zur, before I lets any gentleman take a nag out o' yard. It's more as my place is worth to act otherwise.
Eglan. What coming Tip-street over us, hey, Dick?frisking the freshmanhere, old fellow? (pointing to me). It won't do—no go, Dick—he's my friend, acawkerto be sure, but must notstand Samto anOxford raff, or a YorkshireJohnny Raw.
Dick. I axes pardon, zur. I didna mean any such thing, but ever since you rode the grey tit last, she's never been out o' stall.
Eglan. Not surprised at that, Dick. Never crossed a greater slug in my life—She's only fit to carry a dean or a bishop—No go in her.
Dick. No, zur, measter zays as how you took it all out on her.
Eglan. Why, I did give her a winder, Dick, to be sure, only one day's hunting, though, a good hard run over Somerset range, not above sixty miles out and home.
Dick. Ay, I thought as how you'd been in some break-neck tumble-down country, zur, for Tit's knuckels showed she'd had a somerset or two.
Eglan. Well, blister the mare, Dick! there'shalf a bullfor your trouble: now put us on the right scent for a good one: any thing young and fresh, sprightly and shewy?
Dick. Why, there be such a one to be zure, zur, but you munna split on me, or I shall get the zack for telling on ye. If you'll sken yon stable at end o' the yard, there be two prime tits just com'd in from Abingdon fair, thorough-bred and devils to go, but measter won't let 'em out.
Eglan. Won't he? here he comes, and we'll try what a little persuasion will do. (Enter Livery Man.) Well, old fellow, I've brought you a new friend, Blackmantle of Brazennose: what sort ofpraxiscan you give us for a trot to Bagley Wood, a short ride for something shewy tolionisea bit?
Livery M. Nothing new, sir, and you know all the stud pretty well (knowingly). Suppose you try the grey mare you rode t'other day, and I'll find a quiet one for your friend.
Eglan. If I do, I am ablack horse. She's no paces, nothingbut a shuffle, not aleg to stand on.
Livery M. Every one as good as the principal of All-Souls. Not a better bred thing in Oxford, and all horses here gallop by instinct, as every body knows, but they can't go for ever, and when gentlemen ride steeple chases of sixty miles or more right a-head, they ought to find their own horse-flesh.
Eglan. What comingcrabbover us, old fellow, hey 1 Very well, I shall bolt and try Randall, and that's all about it. Come along, Blackmantle.
My friend's threat of withdrawing his patronage had immediately the desired effect. Horace's judgment in horse-flesh was universally admitted, and the knowing dealer, although he had suffered in one instance by hard riding, yet deeply calculated on retrieving his loss by some unsuspecting Freshman, or other university Nimrod in the circle of Eglantine's acquaintance. By this time Echo had arrived, and we were soon mounted on the two fresh purchases which the honest Yorkshireman had so disinterestedly pointed out; and which, to do him justice, deserved the eulogium he had given us on their merits. One circumstance must not however be forgotten, which was the following notice posted at the end of the yard. "To prevent accidents, gentlemen paybefore mounting." "How the deuce can this practice of paying beforehand prevent accidents?" said I. "You're fresh, old fellow," said Echo, "or you'd understand after a man breaks his neck he fears no duns. Now you know by accident what old Humanity there means."
Bagley is about two miles and a half from Oxford on the Abingdon road, an exceedingly pleasant ride, leaving the sacred city and passing over the old bridge where formerly was situated the study or observatory of the celebrated Friar Bacon. Not an object in the shape of a petticoat escaped some raillery, and scarcelya townraffbut what met with a corresponding display of university wit, and called forth many a cutting joke: the place itself is an extensive wood on the summit of a hill, which commands a glorious panoramic view of Oxford and the surrounding country richly diversified in hill and dale, and sacred spires shooting their varied forms on high above the domes, and minarets, and towers of Rhedycina. This spot, the favourite haunt of the Oxonians, is covered for many miles with the most luxuriant foliage, affording the cool retreat, the love embowered shades, over which Prudence spreads the friendly veil. Here many an amorous couple have in softest dalliance met, and sighed, and frolicked, free from suspicion's eye beneath the broad umbrageous canopy of Nature; here too is the favourite retreat of the devotees of Cypriani, the spicy grove of assignations where the velvet sleeves of the Proctor never shake with terror in the wind, and the savage form of the universitybull dogis unknown.
A party of wandering English Arabs had pitched their tents on the brow of the hill just under the first cluster of trees, and materially increased the romantic appearance of the scene. The group consisted of men, women, and children, a tilted cart with two or three asses, and a lurcher who announced our approach. My companions were, I soon found, well known to the females, who familiarly approached our party, while the male animals as condescendingly betook themselves into the recesses of the wood. "Black Nan," said Echo, "and her daughter, the gypsy beauty, the Bagley brunette."—"Shall I tell your honour's fortune?" said the elder of the two, approaching me; while Eglantine, who had already dismounted and given his horse to one of the brown urchins of the party, had encircled the waist of the younger sibyl, and was tickling her into a trot in an opposite direction. "Ay do, Nan,"said Echo, "cast his nativity, open the book of fate, and tell the boy his future destiny." It would be the height of absurdity to repeat half the nonsense this oracle of Bagley uttered relative to my future fortunes; but with the cunning peculiar to her cast, she discovered I was fresh, and what tormented me more, (although on her part it was no doubt accidental) alluded to an amour in which my heart was much interested with a little divinity in the neighbourhood of Eton. This hint was sufficient to give Tom his cue, and I was doomed to be pestered for the remainder of the day with questions and raillery on my progress in the court of Love. On our quitting the old gypsy woman, a pair of buxom damsels came in sight, advancing from the Abingdon road; they were no doubt like ourselves, I thought, come to consult the oracle of Bagley, or, perhaps, were the daughters of some respectable farmer who owned the adjoining land. All these doubts were, however, of short duration; for Tom Echo no sooner caught sight of their faces, than away he bounded towards them like a young colt in all the frolic of untamed playfulness, and before I could reach him, one of the ladies was rolling on the green carpet of luxuriant Nature. In the deep bosom of Bagley Wood, impervious to the eye of authority, many a sportive scene occurs which would alarm the ethics of the solemn sages of the cloistered college. They were, I discovered, sisters, too early abandoned by an unfeeling parent to poverty, and thus became an easy prey to the licentious and the giddy, who, in the pursuit of pleasure, never contemplate the attendant misery which is sure to follow the victim of seduction. There was something romantic in their story: they were daughters of the celebrated Mother Goose, whose person must have been familiar to every Oxonian for the last sixty years prior to her decease, which occurred but a short time since Ofthis woman's history I have since gleaned some curious particulars, the most remarkable of which (contained in the annexed note) have been authenticated by living witnesses.{1} Her portrait, by a member of All Souls, is admirable, and is here faithfully copied.