Krishna, much wrought upon in his secret mind, seeks a private interview with Paul. The two converse at large, Paul expounding his doctrine of sin and of salvation through faith in Christ. Krishna resists, feeling nevertheless an impulse in himself responsive to Paul's words. They part with nothing concluded between them, but Krishna meditating alone is finally brought to obedience of faith. He seeks the company of the Christian disciples and declares himself a believer. He expressing eager desire to testify as soon as possible in some outward act commanded by Jesus his readiness to obey Him, Paul tells him of the command "Be baptized," and Krishna accordingly is baptized by Aristarchus, Paul giving the new disciple appropriate counsel and exhortation.
BAPTISM OF KRISHNA.
As the days passed, the prisoner Paul, allowedThe freedom of his ways about the isle,Would often, musing by himself alone—Or haply his shadow Stephen following soAs never to be seen yet ever seeIn jealous loving watch and ward of him—Walk in seclusions well to Julius knownWhere, held by all the islanders in aweAnd sentried as if sentried not the while,He could be safe in sense of solitudeAnd easement from the fret of custody.He walking thus one sunny afternoon,The Indian met him at the hither goalAnd entrance to his wonted rounding ways,And with such salutation greeted himAs seemed to seek access for mutual speech.Paul, out of insulation and himselfEmerging wholly at his fellow's call,Rallied at once to be a social man;He welcomed Krishna frankly to his side,And they twain walked and talked together there."O Paul," said Krishna, "I am not at rest;Thou, and that Mary's story of her Lord,Have deeply shaken my repose in me.There must have been, lodged in me from the first,A witness ready to speak up and say,'Hearken, O Krishna!' when the name of 'God'Fell on my ear. For since that word from thee,I have not ceased to hear within me cryReverberant through the chambers of my soul—Like a voluminous echo shouting roundReduplicated images of voice—Clamor and attestation vehementConfirming what thou saidst that day of God,And of our orphanhood without Him. Oh,My friend, that I might find Him, I, even I!"Such passion in passivity moved PaulTo pity, which he hid, while thus he spoke:"It is the answer of the infiniteWithin thee to the infinite aboveThee and beneath thee and about thee round.God made thee for Himself, and Himself isThe only good that can content thy mind.Feel after Him and find Him, He is nigh,Drawn nigh and drawing nigh, in Jesus Christ.Not to believe in Him, God's Son made flesh—He once revealed to thee—this, this, is sin;And sin is death; but to believe is life.Believe and live, O Krishna.""Thy word 'sin,'O Paul," said Krishna, "it perplexes me.What is sin? Evil, I guess. Now evil I knowIn many forms—forms many, essence one—Misery all. But sin to thee, I trow,Is something else than simple misery.""O, yea," said Paul, "and measurelessly more.No misery is like sin, but sin is evilNot to be told in terms of misery.The sinner is an enemy of God;God is against him, and the wrath of GodAbides upon him; such is the evil of sin.For sin is the transgression of the law,That law which is the will of God expressIn precept, or that law more broad, more deep,Higher, which is the will of God inwroughtInto the substance of the human heart.Thou canst not live transgressor of this lawAnd be at peace; God is too mercifulTo suffer it. For mercy it is in GodWhich wrath we call; against the sinner, wrath;But toward the man, mercy eager to save:The wrath of God is as the shepherd's crookWhich with threat drives the foolish flock to fold.Hasten, obey, be folded, thou, by Him,The shepherd and the bishop of thy soul.Within is safety, life, and peace, and joy;Ruin, without, and wretchedness, and death.""A living Will," said Krishna, "in the waste,The wild waste, of a world of chance and fate—A Will amid it, nay, much more, a Mind,A Heart, present, presiding over allThe blind whirl of the things we see, whereofWe seem ourselves a petty part, impelledHelpless—whither, who knows?—this is to meA thought greater than the great universe;Yet does it less than that oppress, appal;I feel my spirit in me quickened tooWhile overwhelmed. O were it true indeed!And were this Being whom thou namest GodWilling to condescend and think on me!I feel that I could love Him if I couldBelieve Him—in the teeth of all that seemsTo swear against Him in this dreadful world!""The whole creation groaneth, yea," said Paul,"And travaileth under the curse of sin.But the blind-bondman universe awaitsWith earnest expectation a new dayWhen he shall be delivered from his thrall,To share, we know not how, that libertyWhich is the birthright of the sons of God.Meantime the discord and the perjuryThou seest of a distracted universeForsworn against its Maker! Yet even soEnough abides unshaken from the firmFair order of the first all-wise design,To testify His everlasting powerWho framed it. But, beyond that perjuryThou findest in the janglings of the worldBrowbeating faith herself to disbelieve,Is the blaspheming atheous spirit in manWhichwillnot God. O strife and warfare strangeWithin us! Godward-springing instinct fainTo answer 'Abba, Father!' to His call,And all the while rebellion muttering, 'Nay!'O wretched, wretched creatures that we are!Who, who is able to deliver usOut of the clinging body of this death?I thank my God, through Jesus Christ our Lord!"Christ's voice against the clamor of the world,His still small voice, heard by the inner earOf whosoever will heed and obey,Makes music of this roaring dissonanceWhich dins and deafens every one besides.Hush the gainsaying of the heart within,O Krishna, the dull heart of unbelief,And hearken if thou shalt not presentlyHear Him say, Come. It is a heavenly sound,Heard never save by the anointed earOf true obedience; but once heard therebyIt ever after lingers in the senseA haunting invitation still obeyed.And still as we obey it, drawing nearAnd nearer to that Voice forevermore,Forevermore we hear the harmonyEvolved from the confusions of the worldGrow perfect and the discord die away.Like as a human father pitiethHis children, so Jehovah God Most HighPitieth them that fear Him. This long sinceWe heard through one inspired from God to singIt cadenced in our sweet and solemn psalms."Krishna could not but speak his froward thought:"It looks such contradiction to the factStaring us in the face from round aboutUs wheresoever in the world we turnOur eyes and see the seeming pitilessOngoing of the blind necessityThat, deaf and blind and irresistible,Rides like a Juggernaut upon his carCrushing beneath the wheels the hearts of menAnd spirting up their blood to splash his feet!"Unwonted passion heaved the Indian's breast,And shook the tones in which he said these things.Paul gently made reply as one that knew:"Yea, such the spectacle that sight beholds;Nor ever other had the mind of manGuessed, had the voice of God not spoken clearTo Faith, revealing His veiled fatherhood:The blatant falsehood of the seeming factFailed in the ear of Faith hearing that word.She said: 'It must be true; how otherwiseThan because God Himself who cannot lieDeclared it could such gospel come to men?Not from the world of sense; that world insteadGainsays it with all clamor of perjury;Not from the heart of man averse from GodAnd full of alien fear through hate of Him:For filial fear it is, begot of love,Not alien fear, of conscious hate begot,That God desires from men and will rewardWith pity like a father's for their state.Yea, such a gospel must from God have come;Let God be true and the whole world a liar.'So Faith cried out in passionate protestAgainst appearance, and clasped fast her creed."But when the fulness of the time was come,God sent a mighty succor down to FaithFaint with her fasting in the wilderness.From His own bosom He His only Son,Only and well-belovéd, the expressImage of His own person and the brightEffulgence of the Father's glory, toreAnd bade Him, joyful at the mission He:'Empty Thyself of thine equalityWith Me in Godhead; take the lowly formOf a bondservant; fashioned like a manHumble Thyself to be obedientThrough all degrees of all obedienceUnfaltering down to that extreme degreeOf death, yea even of death upon the cross!'For God so loved the world, with pity loved,That He His own Son and His only gaveThat whosoever should on Him believeMight perish not, but have eternal life."A paradox divine of love and pity—God sparing not His own coequal Son,But, last impossible proof of love to men,Giving Him freely up to suffer so,The just for the unjust, if haply HeMight bring us unto God! His father's heartOf tenderness toward His obedient SonBreaking, while He that Son delivered up—Father and Son together overcomeWith love and pity toward a wretched raceApostate, disobedient, rebel, lost!Well spake that Savior Son while yet He livedA heavenly exile here on earth—He nowAbout to suffer at the hands of whomHe came to save—making the sum of sinConsist in not believing upon Him.Not to believe on such as Jesus ChristSeen living, the exemplar of all good,That, that, was sin indeed. Yet greater sin,Yea, sin inclusive and conclusive, this—Not to believe on Christ raised from the dead!"Paul interrupted his discourse with pause.He eased the pressure on his heart with prayer,While Krishna slowly, softly, sadly said:'Sin as transgression of a law supreme;Law as expression of a living Will;Nay, the existence of a living WillSovereign over an ordered universe;Much more, a Heart behind the Will to feelPity and love, such pity and such love,Not idle passion but at work to save,Save at vicarious cost so great—these thoughts,Ill canst thou know how new they are to me,How strange! Sin, sin—and sinner I, for this,That I do not believe on him!"But thou,Tell me, What is it to believe on him?I willingly believe that he was good,Was wise, was gentle, gracious, merciful.""Believe that he was what he claimed to be,"Said Paul, "absolute lord of life and thoughtTo all men, and to thee. Acknowledge HimThy Lord; believing is obeying here.To whom He Master is, to them is HeAlso a Savior; trust thyself to Him.""A fearful act of self-surrender thou,O Paul," said Krishna, "thus proposest to me.Take Jesus for my lord in life and thought,Absolute lord as thou hast strongly said it,That might be, for what were it but exchangeOf masters, Buddha left for Jesus; true,Never such claim of mastership made he,Our Buddha, as thou sayest thy Jesus makes—But to commit myself into the handsOf any, whosoever he may be,To be saved—saved from what, to what, how saved?"—With sudden turn on Paul, Krishna thus spoke,The gentleness which was his manner, nowTo almost fierceness changed, so vehementWas the revulsion and revolt expressed."Am I so lost I cannot save myself?"He added, when he could command his tonesTo speak with full becoming courtesy—An inexpugnable repulsion yetShown of the answer that he thus invoked.Calmly, but without effort to be calm,"O, yea," said Paul, "so lost, and worse than so;So lost thou dost not wish to save thyself;Nay, dost not know thou needest to be saved.It is the sad besotment deep of sin,Wherein not thou alone but all of usSince Adam, the first man, are sunk and lost.We are dead in sin, this even from our first breath,And, like the dead, know not that we are dead,And, like the dead, care not to live again,Nor, more than they, could, if we would, revive.A dreadful doom of helpless living death!Helpless, yet hopeless not, blesséd be God!Yea, there is hope, albeit not in ourselves;Christ is a power of life that overflowsTo all that will make ready a way for HimTo enter by the gladsome gates of will.He quickens whom He will, but will not quickenSave who will say to Him, 'Lord, quicken me!'A paradox, sayest thou, hard to be solved?Yea, more, outright impossibility—With man impossibility, but notWith God; with God, all things are possible.""Thou makest this thing 'sin,'" the Indian said,"Such evil as is more miserable farThan misery's self. Who taught thee this? 'Sin,''sin'—Is it not perhaps some specter of the mindOnly, unreal as horrible, which thouHast conjured up from nothing to thyselfIn thy lone brooding on the riddle of things?"Paul hearing this thought backward of the timeWhen Porcius Festus brusquely said to himIn public presence: 'Paul, thou art mad; thy longDeep pouring over books turns wild thy wits.'With himself musing: 'One in his right mindThus to be judged distraught by those distraught!'He answered: "Yea, that is a wile I knowOf Satan's playing on this human heartOf ours, deceitful as it is aboveAll things and desperately wicked, yetInsanely cunning in complicityAgainst itself—a wile I know too wellTo cheat us into thinking naught of sin.A bugbear of the morbid conscience, sin!I might myself have been, I cannot know,Lulled by this lie into false fatal peace;But the Lord Christ Himself appeared to meIn light like lightning though a hundred foldKeener, shot suddenly from out a clearSky at midnoon, and called me by my name,The name that then I bore; 'Saul, Saul,' He said,'Why dost thou persecute Me?' 'Thee,' said I,'Who art thou, Lord?' And He, 'Jesus I amWhom thou dost persecute.'"That moment first,In its true hideous native aspect shown,Sin was revealed to me. I saw it wearA face of horrible malignityGnashing its teeth on Jesus, the One ManWho sinned not ever and yet died for sin,Died for the sin that slew Him, for my sinThat slew Him on the bitter cross, that stillWas slaying Him afresh—who died forme.I found the truth and meaning of those wordsBy Jesus from the imminent verge of deathSpoken, that not believing upon HimWas the one sin. When the ideal manIs shown us, then to know Him not for suchBetokens us how besotted!—beyond hope;But if the ideal man be Son of GodAnd bring us out of heaven a word from Him,Not to receive the message, nay, to floutThe messenger himself as I had done,Yea, was that moment doing when the lightI spoke of fell on me—what height, what depthOf sin! O, sin's exceeding sinfulness!And yet, not so even is the measure full.For God in testimony of His SonPut forth the working of His mighty powerAnd raised Him from the dead, exalting HimTo the right hand of glory with Himself.Christ then, there sitting by His Father's sideAnd with Him reigning, victor over deathAnd over him that had the power of death,The devil, sent thence the Holy Spirit downHither to us to lead us into truth.The Holy Spirit in thy heart, O Krishna,Grieve Him not, send Him not away from thee!It was His secret prompting made thee takeThat spring toward God at mention of His name.Yield to Him, He desires thy good, consentTo be convinced of sin—sin still committedTill thou believe on Jesus Christ as Lord;And now a sin against the Holy Ghost!"Solemn the words, spoken solemnly by Paul;They wrought an awe in Krishna hearing them.The sense indeed was half not understood;Yet not the less, almost it seemed the more,They touched him to the quickest in his soul.Paul too was awed and did not further speak,Thinking, 'Let me beware not to obtrudeMyself untimely between God and man!'Nay, even he would that Krishna were alone,To wrestle in that solemn solitudeWherein needs must at last the human spiritEver transact the awful mysteryOf its own reconcilement with its God.Yet Paul so wishing still would not withdraw,He might inhospitable seem or seemToo conscious of his fellow's inward strife;He prayed in silence with unutterableStrong yearning of desire quickened with hope:'Let Krishna win the victory of defeat!'The Indian soon with gesture of farewellUnspoken, which meant thanks and courtesyHabitual, but meant also not habitualAppeal for sympathy in felt helplessness,As who should say, 'Pray, pray for me,' retired.'Impossible!' so he murmured to himself;'I would have paid a hundred million yearsOf pain and patience and unceasing toilTo buy escape from being and misery.Now to accept deliverance as a gift,Acknowledging that I cannot purchase it—I sicken within me at the very thought!Deliverance not from being but misery—Ifthatcould be! Fulness of life, not death!Aye, that were better—were it possible!I do not wish to cease from consciousnessIf consciousness can be, apart from woe.O Thou who must be, Thou whom since I heardThy name I cannot doubt more than I doubtMyself, Thou, God, is this thy word indeed,That I am lost in sin as not believingOn that man Jesus for mine only Lord?Is he thy Son? Shall I trust all to him?All, all, as if I were a little child?'What is it in my heart that answers, Yea?Is it Thou, O Holy Spirit? If it beThou, and none other and naught else than ThouThen certify Thyself, give me a sign!Ah, but I know, I know. O heart within,Thou wilt not cheat thyself thus! Thou and I,We know full well when God speaks it is He,He and none other. Other none than Thou,Paul's God, and mine, and mine, and mine, O yea,Who but my God could speak thus closely to me?O Buddha, Buddha, trusted long in vain!In whom I took my refuge once, behold,My house of refuge then supposed in theeIs melted into ruin round about me.I am a naked soul, unhoused, disclad;O God, receive me, lo, I come to Thee;Forgive my sin that I have not believedEarlier in Christ thy Son, whom now I takeTo be my Lord henceforth. I trust to HimTo save me and I cannot save myself.But He, He can and will, thanks to His name;Thanks to thy name, Lord Jesus, I am thine,And Thou art mine, my Savior as my Lord!'Where is my pride, which was so dear to me,My pride, and my vain confidence of strength?Gone, yea, and my desire even gone to beMyself my own redeemer and not oweRedemption as a debt of gratitudeTo any; sense of debt is sweet to meNow, and my heart is meekly glad to knowThat I henceforth am not my own, but HisWho died to save me from myself and sin.Nirvâna, which I erst befooled myselfTo deem desirable, what dreary doomWere it! Instead of life, and love, and joy,True peace, and ever-springing gratitudeGrowing greater every moment, like a streamIncreasing every moment to the seaWith fresh floods from fresh tributaries poured—Instead of this, blank death and nothingness!End unattainable, I now can see,Even were it good. To lose this power to thinkAnd suffer and enjoy, to quench in nightUtter, unending, reason's starry lamp,And hope's, and memory's, and be naught at all!I shudder backward from the crumbling brinkOf such annihilation of myselfImagined only, and I eager springEndeavoring upward toward that different goodAssured to me and native now I know,The prospect of eternal life with joy.'So Krishna mused, was grateful, and aspired,Rescued from the abyss to hope of heaven.But the new life of love within his heart,Of love and love's delicious gratitude,Swelled with sweet pain to unappeasableDesire of vent and overflow in wordOr deed to testify itself abroad.When, the next day, the daily trysting-timeDrew them that loved the Lord together for prayer,The Indian, who by fellow instinct nowDivined the secret of those gatherings, cameAnd sought to be admitted of the band.They welcomed him with hospitable joy,Which borrowed tears from sorrow to expressItself in silence when he spoke and said:"O friends, receive me, for I am of you,Redeemed by your Redeemer, Christ the Lord.I love Him, and I know it is becauseHe first loved me and taught me how to love.This love that wells in me and overflowsMy being thus, it is not mine I know,But His, or only as He makes it, mine.I love you all in Him, and feel that yeIn Him likewise love me. He has unlockedThe gates of speech; He makes the dumb to speak.And now I pray you tell me, is there notSome thing ye know, some little thing perhaps,For I am meek and lowly like a childAnd I do not aspire to things aboveMy measure, which indeed I know is small,Some little simple thing that I can doFor Jesus, just because He wishes itAnd for no other reason in the worldThan only that, to testify to HimIn act and testify to all that seeHow much I love Him, and how much desireTo be henceforth His servant all in all?I should be glad to do this if I mightWith no delay at all, I am in haste.I know from all that I have learned through youAnd from the lovely feeling in my heart,This eager impulse to make haste and beThe perfect image of your Lord and mine—I know thus that there is an endless joyBefore me of obedience to His willIn beautiful behavior like His ownAnd all conformity to what is fairWhether in temper, thought, wish, word, or deed,Or whatsoever else is life or being—A boundless possibility of blissAwaiting and inviting me—wheretoAll hail and welcome, be my footsteps fleetTo run forever up this shining way!—Yet am I not contented till I hearWhether there be not bidden some thing besidesOf gracious privilege from Christ to thoseWho love Him as I love Him, which such may,In the first freshness of new birth, at onceDo for an ease and comfort to their love."Wonder with gladness filled all hearts that heard,When Krishna, he of words so slow and few,Flowed like a river thus from frost unbound.And Paul said: "'Be baptized,' Lord Jesus taughtFirst privilege of obedience to His willIn outward visible act offered to thoseWho have before invisibly obeyedHim inwardly and taken Him for Lord.Thou therefore, brother, if thou wilt, shalt beForthwith baptized according to His word.Buried with Him by baptism into deathThou wilt be, that as Christ was from the deadRaised by the glory of the Father soThou also mayst henceforth forever walkIn a new life."Within the spacious hallsOf Publius there was found a laver largeWhich, by the master of the mansion putAt Paul's command, with water pure was filled;And therein Krishna was straightway baptized.But not by Paul's hands. "For Christ sent me forth,"He said, "not to baptize but to proclaimThe gospel of obedience to mankind."So Aristarchus, for that office namedBy Paul, baptized the Indian. He went downJoyous into that liquid grave with ChristTo rise with Him in resurrection thence."Because thou art disciple now become,"To Krishna speaking, Aristarchus said,"And because Christ hath so commanded us,Lo, I baptize thee thus into the name,The one name, of the Father, of the Son,And of the Holy Ghost. Amen!""Amen!"Said Krishna, issuing from his watery tombAs one new-born like Lazarus from the dead."If thou, then," Paul said, taking Krishna's handFor welcome, "If thou be indeed with ChristRisen from the dead, I charge thee seek those thingsWhich are above where Christ ascended sitsOn the right hand of God the Father throned.Endeavor upward toward what heavenly is,Not suffer thine affection here to cling;We must not grovel where we ought to climb.Reckon that when Christ died thou diedst with Him,And that thy life is hid with Christ in God.When Christ our life shall manifested be,Then manifested thou shalt be with HimIn glory."For this life we live on earthIs as the insect's life in chrysalis.The creature shut in chrysalis awaitsThe promise of the sun's approach in spring;The sun is his true life, and when the sunReturns rejoicing hither from the south,Then cracks the chrysalis that bound him in,And, blossoming out in wings, he disimprisonedSprings a new creature forth, and sails abroadIn beauty on the bosom of the air—A living parable of that which weShall undergo of glorious change when Christ,Our Sun, at His return revisits us.Haste, then, to put to death those things in thee,Pride, unbelief, self-will, vain trust in self,Excess of self-regard, whatever elseBelongs to this thine earthly state of beingAnd cannot overlive into the lifeOf glory to be thine forever in heaven—All these things put to death, and nourish ratherFaith, hope, love, joy, upward desire and pure,The spirit of forgetfulness of self—Self-will become obedience unto God,Presumption changed to sweet humility,Thanksgiving like a fountain from the heartSpringing, with a delicious tremble deepReflected to the center of the soul,In eager exultation up to God:These and like things are of the heavenly mind;Cherish them thou with heedful husbandry.So shalt thou grow full-summed those buoyant wingsWhich, when Christ comes again, shall bear thee upTo meet Him in the air and soar with HimImmeasurable heights above all heightInto the heaven of heavens to be with GodForever and forever safe in bliss."Dost thou ask, How do this? I answer thee,Be thy whole life obedience to His willWho lived and died and lives forevermoreTo save thee ransomed by His blood from sin.Yea, whatsoever thou henceforth shalt do,Whether in thought or word or deed, do allNot from thyself, nor for thyself, but allAs living in the person and the name,As living therein only, of the LordJesus, to God the Father giving thanksBy Him."And now to Him that loved us, HimThat washed us from our sins in His own blood,And made us kings and priests to God His Father—To Him dominion be, and glory, givenFor ever and for evermore! Amen!"Krishna soon after came to Paul and said:"The sense of resurrection power I feelWithin me working to sustain my willIn striving upward as thou bidst toward GodI take it as a warrant and a proofThat Christ lives and exerts it from above.I need no longer any testimonyOther than what I have within myself,That He rose from the dead to die no more.This new life that is mine I draw from Him;It is because He lives I thus can live;Yet gladly would I hear from Mary's lips(Not now with curious ear, and unbelief)Her story of the rising of the Lord.I wake not seldom in the depths of night,A kind of leaven of light breaks through my sleep,As if the glory of the Lord aroundMe made untimely morning for mine eyes.Better, I trow, than our good Publius,I shall peruse the daily propheciesOf weather in the midnight wind and sky.So he consents and I beforehand amWith him in waking, as I trust to be,Let me bring tidings when my vigils nextDiscern the promise of a smiling dawnTempered to vernal warmth. We then can meet,As late the hint was, ere the rising sun,To hear from Mary, while the morning breaksAnd the fresh splendors of new-wakened dayLighten the world, how Jesus over deathTriumphed, and spoiled the princedom of the grave.""So it shall be, my Krishna," Paul said, gladAt heart that such desire, so purifiedWith faith, and joy, and sense of partnershipIn all things by the Lord of life bestowed,Possessed the Indian. And the days went by.
As the days passed, the prisoner Paul, allowedThe freedom of his ways about the isle,Would often, musing by himself alone—Or haply his shadow Stephen following soAs never to be seen yet ever seeIn jealous loving watch and ward of him—Walk in seclusions well to Julius knownWhere, held by all the islanders in aweAnd sentried as if sentried not the while,He could be safe in sense of solitudeAnd easement from the fret of custody.
He walking thus one sunny afternoon,The Indian met him at the hither goalAnd entrance to his wonted rounding ways,And with such salutation greeted himAs seemed to seek access for mutual speech.Paul, out of insulation and himselfEmerging wholly at his fellow's call,Rallied at once to be a social man;He welcomed Krishna frankly to his side,And they twain walked and talked together there."O Paul," said Krishna, "I am not at rest;Thou, and that Mary's story of her Lord,Have deeply shaken my repose in me.There must have been, lodged in me from the first,A witness ready to speak up and say,'Hearken, O Krishna!' when the name of 'God'Fell on my ear. For since that word from thee,I have not ceased to hear within me cryReverberant through the chambers of my soul—Like a voluminous echo shouting roundReduplicated images of voice—Clamor and attestation vehementConfirming what thou saidst that day of God,And of our orphanhood without Him. Oh,My friend, that I might find Him, I, even I!"
Such passion in passivity moved PaulTo pity, which he hid, while thus he spoke:"It is the answer of the infiniteWithin thee to the infinite aboveThee and beneath thee and about thee round.God made thee for Himself, and Himself isThe only good that can content thy mind.Feel after Him and find Him, He is nigh,Drawn nigh and drawing nigh, in Jesus Christ.Not to believe in Him, God's Son made flesh—He once revealed to thee—this, this, is sin;And sin is death; but to believe is life.Believe and live, O Krishna."
"Thy word 'sin,'O Paul," said Krishna, "it perplexes me.What is sin? Evil, I guess. Now evil I knowIn many forms—forms many, essence one—Misery all. But sin to thee, I trow,Is something else than simple misery."
"O, yea," said Paul, "and measurelessly more.No misery is like sin, but sin is evilNot to be told in terms of misery.The sinner is an enemy of God;God is against him, and the wrath of GodAbides upon him; such is the evil of sin.For sin is the transgression of the law,That law which is the will of God expressIn precept, or that law more broad, more deep,Higher, which is the will of God inwroughtInto the substance of the human heart.Thou canst not live transgressor of this lawAnd be at peace; God is too mercifulTo suffer it. For mercy it is in GodWhich wrath we call; against the sinner, wrath;But toward the man, mercy eager to save:The wrath of God is as the shepherd's crookWhich with threat drives the foolish flock to fold.Hasten, obey, be folded, thou, by Him,The shepherd and the bishop of thy soul.Within is safety, life, and peace, and joy;Ruin, without, and wretchedness, and death."
"A living Will," said Krishna, "in the waste,The wild waste, of a world of chance and fate—A Will amid it, nay, much more, a Mind,A Heart, present, presiding over allThe blind whirl of the things we see, whereofWe seem ourselves a petty part, impelledHelpless—whither, who knows?—this is to meA thought greater than the great universe;Yet does it less than that oppress, appal;I feel my spirit in me quickened tooWhile overwhelmed. O were it true indeed!And were this Being whom thou namest GodWilling to condescend and think on me!I feel that I could love Him if I couldBelieve Him—in the teeth of all that seemsTo swear against Him in this dreadful world!"
"The whole creation groaneth, yea," said Paul,"And travaileth under the curse of sin.But the blind-bondman universe awaitsWith earnest expectation a new dayWhen he shall be delivered from his thrall,To share, we know not how, that libertyWhich is the birthright of the sons of God.Meantime the discord and the perjuryThou seest of a distracted universeForsworn against its Maker! Yet even soEnough abides unshaken from the firmFair order of the first all-wise design,To testify His everlasting powerWho framed it. But, beyond that perjuryThou findest in the janglings of the worldBrowbeating faith herself to disbelieve,Is the blaspheming atheous spirit in manWhichwillnot God. O strife and warfare strangeWithin us! Godward-springing instinct fainTo answer 'Abba, Father!' to His call,And all the while rebellion muttering, 'Nay!'O wretched, wretched creatures that we are!Who, who is able to deliver usOut of the clinging body of this death?I thank my God, through Jesus Christ our Lord!
"Christ's voice against the clamor of the world,His still small voice, heard by the inner earOf whosoever will heed and obey,Makes music of this roaring dissonanceWhich dins and deafens every one besides.Hush the gainsaying of the heart within,O Krishna, the dull heart of unbelief,And hearken if thou shalt not presentlyHear Him say, Come. It is a heavenly sound,Heard never save by the anointed earOf true obedience; but once heard therebyIt ever after lingers in the senseA haunting invitation still obeyed.And still as we obey it, drawing nearAnd nearer to that Voice forevermore,Forevermore we hear the harmonyEvolved from the confusions of the worldGrow perfect and the discord die away.Like as a human father pitiethHis children, so Jehovah God Most HighPitieth them that fear Him. This long sinceWe heard through one inspired from God to singIt cadenced in our sweet and solemn psalms."
Krishna could not but speak his froward thought:"It looks such contradiction to the factStaring us in the face from round aboutUs wheresoever in the world we turnOur eyes and see the seeming pitilessOngoing of the blind necessityThat, deaf and blind and irresistible,Rides like a Juggernaut upon his carCrushing beneath the wheels the hearts of menAnd spirting up their blood to splash his feet!"
Unwonted passion heaved the Indian's breast,And shook the tones in which he said these things.Paul gently made reply as one that knew:"Yea, such the spectacle that sight beholds;Nor ever other had the mind of manGuessed, had the voice of God not spoken clearTo Faith, revealing His veiled fatherhood:The blatant falsehood of the seeming factFailed in the ear of Faith hearing that word.She said: 'It must be true; how otherwiseThan because God Himself who cannot lieDeclared it could such gospel come to men?Not from the world of sense; that world insteadGainsays it with all clamor of perjury;Not from the heart of man averse from GodAnd full of alien fear through hate of Him:For filial fear it is, begot of love,Not alien fear, of conscious hate begot,That God desires from men and will rewardWith pity like a father's for their state.Yea, such a gospel must from God have come;Let God be true and the whole world a liar.'So Faith cried out in passionate protestAgainst appearance, and clasped fast her creed.
"But when the fulness of the time was come,God sent a mighty succor down to FaithFaint with her fasting in the wilderness.From His own bosom He His only Son,Only and well-belovéd, the expressImage of His own person and the brightEffulgence of the Father's glory, toreAnd bade Him, joyful at the mission He:'Empty Thyself of thine equalityWith Me in Godhead; take the lowly formOf a bondservant; fashioned like a manHumble Thyself to be obedientThrough all degrees of all obedienceUnfaltering down to that extreme degreeOf death, yea even of death upon the cross!'For God so loved the world, with pity loved,That He His own Son and His only gaveThat whosoever should on Him believeMight perish not, but have eternal life.
"A paradox divine of love and pity—God sparing not His own coequal Son,But, last impossible proof of love to men,Giving Him freely up to suffer so,The just for the unjust, if haply HeMight bring us unto God! His father's heartOf tenderness toward His obedient SonBreaking, while He that Son delivered up—Father and Son together overcomeWith love and pity toward a wretched raceApostate, disobedient, rebel, lost!Well spake that Savior Son while yet He livedA heavenly exile here on earth—He nowAbout to suffer at the hands of whomHe came to save—making the sum of sinConsist in not believing upon Him.Not to believe on such as Jesus ChristSeen living, the exemplar of all good,That, that, was sin indeed. Yet greater sin,Yea, sin inclusive and conclusive, this—Not to believe on Christ raised from the dead!"
Paul interrupted his discourse with pause.He eased the pressure on his heart with prayer,While Krishna slowly, softly, sadly said:'Sin as transgression of a law supreme;Law as expression of a living Will;Nay, the existence of a living WillSovereign over an ordered universe;Much more, a Heart behind the Will to feelPity and love, such pity and such love,Not idle passion but at work to save,Save at vicarious cost so great—these thoughts,Ill canst thou know how new they are to me,How strange! Sin, sin—and sinner I, for this,That I do not believe on him!
"But thou,Tell me, What is it to believe on him?I willingly believe that he was good,Was wise, was gentle, gracious, merciful.""Believe that he was what he claimed to be,"Said Paul, "absolute lord of life and thoughtTo all men, and to thee. Acknowledge HimThy Lord; believing is obeying here.To whom He Master is, to them is HeAlso a Savior; trust thyself to Him.""A fearful act of self-surrender thou,O Paul," said Krishna, "thus proposest to me.Take Jesus for my lord in life and thought,Absolute lord as thou hast strongly said it,That might be, for what were it but exchangeOf masters, Buddha left for Jesus; true,Never such claim of mastership made he,Our Buddha, as thou sayest thy Jesus makes—But to commit myself into the handsOf any, whosoever he may be,To be saved—saved from what, to what, how saved?"—
With sudden turn on Paul, Krishna thus spoke,The gentleness which was his manner, nowTo almost fierceness changed, so vehementWas the revulsion and revolt expressed."Am I so lost I cannot save myself?"He added, when he could command his tonesTo speak with full becoming courtesy—An inexpugnable repulsion yetShown of the answer that he thus invoked.
Calmly, but without effort to be calm,"O, yea," said Paul, "so lost, and worse than so;So lost thou dost not wish to save thyself;Nay, dost not know thou needest to be saved.It is the sad besotment deep of sin,Wherein not thou alone but all of usSince Adam, the first man, are sunk and lost.We are dead in sin, this even from our first breath,And, like the dead, know not that we are dead,And, like the dead, care not to live again,Nor, more than they, could, if we would, revive.A dreadful doom of helpless living death!Helpless, yet hopeless not, blesséd be God!Yea, there is hope, albeit not in ourselves;Christ is a power of life that overflowsTo all that will make ready a way for HimTo enter by the gladsome gates of will.He quickens whom He will, but will not quickenSave who will say to Him, 'Lord, quicken me!'A paradox, sayest thou, hard to be solved?Yea, more, outright impossibility—With man impossibility, but notWith God; with God, all things are possible."
"Thou makest this thing 'sin,'" the Indian said,"Such evil as is more miserable farThan misery's self. Who taught thee this? 'Sin,''sin'—Is it not perhaps some specter of the mindOnly, unreal as horrible, which thouHast conjured up from nothing to thyselfIn thy lone brooding on the riddle of things?"
Paul hearing this thought backward of the timeWhen Porcius Festus brusquely said to himIn public presence: 'Paul, thou art mad; thy longDeep pouring over books turns wild thy wits.'With himself musing: 'One in his right mindThus to be judged distraught by those distraught!'He answered: "Yea, that is a wile I knowOf Satan's playing on this human heartOf ours, deceitful as it is aboveAll things and desperately wicked, yetInsanely cunning in complicityAgainst itself—a wile I know too wellTo cheat us into thinking naught of sin.A bugbear of the morbid conscience, sin!I might myself have been, I cannot know,Lulled by this lie into false fatal peace;But the Lord Christ Himself appeared to meIn light like lightning though a hundred foldKeener, shot suddenly from out a clearSky at midnoon, and called me by my name,The name that then I bore; 'Saul, Saul,' He said,'Why dost thou persecute Me?' 'Thee,' said I,'Who art thou, Lord?' And He, 'Jesus I amWhom thou dost persecute.'
"That moment first,In its true hideous native aspect shown,Sin was revealed to me. I saw it wearA face of horrible malignityGnashing its teeth on Jesus, the One ManWho sinned not ever and yet died for sin,Died for the sin that slew Him, for my sinThat slew Him on the bitter cross, that stillWas slaying Him afresh—who died forme.I found the truth and meaning of those wordsBy Jesus from the imminent verge of deathSpoken, that not believing upon HimWas the one sin. When the ideal manIs shown us, then to know Him not for suchBetokens us how besotted!—beyond hope;But if the ideal man be Son of GodAnd bring us out of heaven a word from Him,Not to receive the message, nay, to floutThe messenger himself as I had done,Yea, was that moment doing when the lightI spoke of fell on me—what height, what depthOf sin! O, sin's exceeding sinfulness!And yet, not so even is the measure full.For God in testimony of His SonPut forth the working of His mighty powerAnd raised Him from the dead, exalting HimTo the right hand of glory with Himself.Christ then, there sitting by His Father's sideAnd with Him reigning, victor over deathAnd over him that had the power of death,The devil, sent thence the Holy Spirit downHither to us to lead us into truth.The Holy Spirit in thy heart, O Krishna,Grieve Him not, send Him not away from thee!It was His secret prompting made thee takeThat spring toward God at mention of His name.Yield to Him, He desires thy good, consentTo be convinced of sin—sin still committedTill thou believe on Jesus Christ as Lord;And now a sin against the Holy Ghost!"
Solemn the words, spoken solemnly by Paul;They wrought an awe in Krishna hearing them.The sense indeed was half not understood;Yet not the less, almost it seemed the more,They touched him to the quickest in his soul.Paul too was awed and did not further speak,Thinking, 'Let me beware not to obtrudeMyself untimely between God and man!'Nay, even he would that Krishna were alone,To wrestle in that solemn solitudeWherein needs must at last the human spiritEver transact the awful mysteryOf its own reconcilement with its God.Yet Paul so wishing still would not withdraw,He might inhospitable seem or seemToo conscious of his fellow's inward strife;He prayed in silence with unutterableStrong yearning of desire quickened with hope:'Let Krishna win the victory of defeat!'
The Indian soon with gesture of farewellUnspoken, which meant thanks and courtesyHabitual, but meant also not habitualAppeal for sympathy in felt helplessness,As who should say, 'Pray, pray for me,' retired.
'Impossible!' so he murmured to himself;'I would have paid a hundred million yearsOf pain and patience and unceasing toilTo buy escape from being and misery.Now to accept deliverance as a gift,Acknowledging that I cannot purchase it—I sicken within me at the very thought!Deliverance not from being but misery—Ifthatcould be! Fulness of life, not death!Aye, that were better—were it possible!I do not wish to cease from consciousnessIf consciousness can be, apart from woe.O Thou who must be, Thou whom since I heardThy name I cannot doubt more than I doubtMyself, Thou, God, is this thy word indeed,That I am lost in sin as not believingOn that man Jesus for mine only Lord?Is he thy Son? Shall I trust all to him?All, all, as if I were a little child?
'What is it in my heart that answers, Yea?Is it Thou, O Holy Spirit? If it beThou, and none other and naught else than ThouThen certify Thyself, give me a sign!Ah, but I know, I know. O heart within,Thou wilt not cheat thyself thus! Thou and I,We know full well when God speaks it is He,He and none other. Other none than Thou,Paul's God, and mine, and mine, and mine, O yea,Who but my God could speak thus closely to me?O Buddha, Buddha, trusted long in vain!In whom I took my refuge once, behold,My house of refuge then supposed in theeIs melted into ruin round about me.I am a naked soul, unhoused, disclad;O God, receive me, lo, I come to Thee;Forgive my sin that I have not believedEarlier in Christ thy Son, whom now I takeTo be my Lord henceforth. I trust to HimTo save me and I cannot save myself.But He, He can and will, thanks to His name;Thanks to thy name, Lord Jesus, I am thine,And Thou art mine, my Savior as my Lord!
'Where is my pride, which was so dear to me,My pride, and my vain confidence of strength?Gone, yea, and my desire even gone to beMyself my own redeemer and not oweRedemption as a debt of gratitudeTo any; sense of debt is sweet to meNow, and my heart is meekly glad to knowThat I henceforth am not my own, but HisWho died to save me from myself and sin.Nirvâna, which I erst befooled myselfTo deem desirable, what dreary doomWere it! Instead of life, and love, and joy,True peace, and ever-springing gratitudeGrowing greater every moment, like a streamIncreasing every moment to the seaWith fresh floods from fresh tributaries poured—Instead of this, blank death and nothingness!End unattainable, I now can see,Even were it good. To lose this power to thinkAnd suffer and enjoy, to quench in nightUtter, unending, reason's starry lamp,And hope's, and memory's, and be naught at all!I shudder backward from the crumbling brinkOf such annihilation of myselfImagined only, and I eager springEndeavoring upward toward that different goodAssured to me and native now I know,The prospect of eternal life with joy.'
So Krishna mused, was grateful, and aspired,Rescued from the abyss to hope of heaven.
But the new life of love within his heart,Of love and love's delicious gratitude,Swelled with sweet pain to unappeasableDesire of vent and overflow in wordOr deed to testify itself abroad.When, the next day, the daily trysting-timeDrew them that loved the Lord together for prayer,The Indian, who by fellow instinct nowDivined the secret of those gatherings, cameAnd sought to be admitted of the band.They welcomed him with hospitable joy,Which borrowed tears from sorrow to expressItself in silence when he spoke and said:
"O friends, receive me, for I am of you,Redeemed by your Redeemer, Christ the Lord.I love Him, and I know it is becauseHe first loved me and taught me how to love.This love that wells in me and overflowsMy being thus, it is not mine I know,But His, or only as He makes it, mine.I love you all in Him, and feel that yeIn Him likewise love me. He has unlockedThe gates of speech; He makes the dumb to speak.And now I pray you tell me, is there notSome thing ye know, some little thing perhaps,For I am meek and lowly like a childAnd I do not aspire to things aboveMy measure, which indeed I know is small,Some little simple thing that I can doFor Jesus, just because He wishes itAnd for no other reason in the worldThan only that, to testify to HimIn act and testify to all that seeHow much I love Him, and how much desireTo be henceforth His servant all in all?I should be glad to do this if I mightWith no delay at all, I am in haste.I know from all that I have learned through youAnd from the lovely feeling in my heart,This eager impulse to make haste and beThe perfect image of your Lord and mine—I know thus that there is an endless joyBefore me of obedience to His willIn beautiful behavior like His ownAnd all conformity to what is fairWhether in temper, thought, wish, word, or deed,Or whatsoever else is life or being—A boundless possibility of blissAwaiting and inviting me—wheretoAll hail and welcome, be my footsteps fleetTo run forever up this shining way!—Yet am I not contented till I hearWhether there be not bidden some thing besidesOf gracious privilege from Christ to thoseWho love Him as I love Him, which such may,In the first freshness of new birth, at onceDo for an ease and comfort to their love."
Wonder with gladness filled all hearts that heard,When Krishna, he of words so slow and few,Flowed like a river thus from frost unbound.And Paul said: "'Be baptized,' Lord Jesus taughtFirst privilege of obedience to His willIn outward visible act offered to thoseWho have before invisibly obeyedHim inwardly and taken Him for Lord.Thou therefore, brother, if thou wilt, shalt beForthwith baptized according to His word.Buried with Him by baptism into deathThou wilt be, that as Christ was from the deadRaised by the glory of the Father soThou also mayst henceforth forever walkIn a new life."
Within the spacious hallsOf Publius there was found a laver largeWhich, by the master of the mansion putAt Paul's command, with water pure was filled;And therein Krishna was straightway baptized.But not by Paul's hands. "For Christ sent me forth,"He said, "not to baptize but to proclaimThe gospel of obedience to mankind."So Aristarchus, for that office namedBy Paul, baptized the Indian. He went downJoyous into that liquid grave with ChristTo rise with Him in resurrection thence."Because thou art disciple now become,"To Krishna speaking, Aristarchus said,"And because Christ hath so commanded us,Lo, I baptize thee thus into the name,The one name, of the Father, of the Son,And of the Holy Ghost. Amen!"
"Amen!"Said Krishna, issuing from his watery tombAs one new-born like Lazarus from the dead.
"If thou, then," Paul said, taking Krishna's handFor welcome, "If thou be indeed with ChristRisen from the dead, I charge thee seek those thingsWhich are above where Christ ascended sitsOn the right hand of God the Father throned.Endeavor upward toward what heavenly is,Not suffer thine affection here to cling;We must not grovel where we ought to climb.Reckon that when Christ died thou diedst with Him,And that thy life is hid with Christ in God.When Christ our life shall manifested be,Then manifested thou shalt be with HimIn glory.
"For this life we live on earthIs as the insect's life in chrysalis.The creature shut in chrysalis awaitsThe promise of the sun's approach in spring;The sun is his true life, and when the sunReturns rejoicing hither from the south,Then cracks the chrysalis that bound him in,And, blossoming out in wings, he disimprisonedSprings a new creature forth, and sails abroadIn beauty on the bosom of the air—A living parable of that which weShall undergo of glorious change when Christ,Our Sun, at His return revisits us.Haste, then, to put to death those things in thee,Pride, unbelief, self-will, vain trust in self,Excess of self-regard, whatever elseBelongs to this thine earthly state of beingAnd cannot overlive into the lifeOf glory to be thine forever in heaven—All these things put to death, and nourish ratherFaith, hope, love, joy, upward desire and pure,The spirit of forgetfulness of self—Self-will become obedience unto God,Presumption changed to sweet humility,Thanksgiving like a fountain from the heartSpringing, with a delicious tremble deepReflected to the center of the soul,In eager exultation up to God:These and like things are of the heavenly mind;Cherish them thou with heedful husbandry.So shalt thou grow full-summed those buoyant wingsWhich, when Christ comes again, shall bear thee upTo meet Him in the air and soar with HimImmeasurable heights above all heightInto the heaven of heavens to be with GodForever and forever safe in bliss.
"Dost thou ask, How do this? I answer thee,Be thy whole life obedience to His willWho lived and died and lives forevermoreTo save thee ransomed by His blood from sin.Yea, whatsoever thou henceforth shalt do,Whether in thought or word or deed, do allNot from thyself, nor for thyself, but allAs living in the person and the name,As living therein only, of the LordJesus, to God the Father giving thanksBy Him.
"And now to Him that loved us, HimThat washed us from our sins in His own blood,And made us kings and priests to God His Father—To Him dominion be, and glory, givenFor ever and for evermore! Amen!"
Krishna soon after came to Paul and said:"The sense of resurrection power I feelWithin me working to sustain my willIn striving upward as thou bidst toward GodI take it as a warrant and a proofThat Christ lives and exerts it from above.I need no longer any testimonyOther than what I have within myself,That He rose from the dead to die no more.This new life that is mine I draw from Him;It is because He lives I thus can live;Yet gladly would I hear from Mary's lips(Not now with curious ear, and unbelief)Her story of the rising of the Lord.I wake not seldom in the depths of night,A kind of leaven of light breaks through my sleep,As if the glory of the Lord aroundMe made untimely morning for mine eyes.Better, I trow, than our good Publius,I shall peruse the daily propheciesOf weather in the midnight wind and sky.So he consents and I beforehand amWith him in waking, as I trust to be,Let me bring tidings when my vigils nextDiscern the promise of a smiling dawnTempered to vernal warmth. We then can meet,As late the hint was, ere the rising sun,To hear from Mary, while the morning breaksAnd the fresh splendors of new-wakened dayLighten the world, how Jesus over deathTriumphed, and spoiled the princedom of the grave."
"So it shall be, my Krishna," Paul said, gladAt heart that such desire, so purifiedWith faith, and joy, and sense of partnershipIn all things by the Lord of life bestowed,Possessed the Indian. And the days went by.
Ruth and Mary Magdalené waking very early talk with one another having not yet risen, and Mary discloses a placid premonition that she has of her own imminent death. They thus engaged, a signal sound from without is heard in notes from Stephen on his pipe. The summons is for the meeting proposed to hear Mary's story of the resurrection.
The company repair to a hilltop of easy access and goodly prospect, where after a matin prayer from Paul Mary tells her story. She has scarcely ended, when she gently sinks in death. Paul on occasion of this speaks comfortingly, not without tears of personal sorrow for Mary's loss, of the resurrection awaiting the dead in Christ.
Meantime Simon the sorcerer having observed from a distance the meeting of the Christians puts his own sinister interpretation on what occurred, which, so interpreted, he reports, to Paul's disadvantage, to Felix and Drusilla, with suggestion of use that may be made of it in evidence against the apostle at Rome.
At sunset of the same day the Christians gather to the burial of Mary on the spot where she died, and Paul describes the promised return of Jesus to accomplish the triumphant rapture and resurrection of the saints.
EUTHANASY.