CONTENTSCHAPTER ITHE OLD ADAM1–10Introductory — Awful habits of the ancients — A bold, bad book — Seneca on the Drink Habit — The bow must not be always strung —Ebrietatis Encomium— The noble Romans — “Dum vivimus vivamus” — The skeleton at the banquet — Skull-cups — “Life and wine are the same thing” — Virgil and his contemporaries — Goats for Bacchus — The days of Pliny — Rewards for drunkenness — Novellius Torquatus — Three gallons at a draught — A swallow which did not save Rome — The antiquity of getting for’ard — Noah as a grape-grower — Father Frassen’s ideas — Procopius of Gaza — New Testament wine — Fermented or not? — Bad old Early Christians — Drunkenness common in Africa — Religion a cloak for alcohol — Tertullian on cider — Paulinus excuses intemperance — Excellence of Early Christians’ intentionsCHAPTER IIMORE FRIGHTFUL EXAMPLES11–21Eating and drinking the only work of the monks — Nunc est bibendum — An apology for Herodotus — A jovial pope — Good quarters in Provence — Intemperance of holy men — A tippling bishop — Alexander the Great — “Lovely Thais sits beside thee” — A big flare-up — Awful end of Alec — Cambyses always shot straight — Darius the strong-of-head — Philip drunk and Philip sober — Dionysius gets blind — Tiberius loved the bowl — So did Flavius Vobiscus, the diplomatist — Bluff King Hal — The Merry Monarch and the Lord Mayor — Dear Old Pepys — A Mansion House wine-list — Minimum allowance of sack — A slump in brandy — A church-tavern — Dean Aldrich — The Romans at supper — “The tippling philosophers”CHAPTER IVSOME OLD RECIPES36–47Indifference of the Chineses — A nasty potion — A nastier — White Bastard — Helping it to be eager — Improving Malmsey — Death of the Duke of Clarence — Mum isnotthe word — English champagne — Life without Ebulum a blank — Cock ale — How to dispose of surplus poultry — Painful fate of a pauper —Potage pauvre— Duties of the old English housewife — Election of wines, not golf — Muskadine — Lemon wine — Familiar recipe — King William’s posset — Pope’s dittoCHAPTER VGLORIOUS BEER48–60Nectar on Olympus — Beer and the Bible — “Ninepenny” at Eton — “Number One” Bass — “The wicked weed called hops” — All is not beer that’s bitter — Pathetic story of “Poor Richard” — Secrets of brewing — Gervase Markham — An “espen” full of hops — Eggs in ale — Beer soup — The wassail bowl — Sir Watkin Wynne — Brown Betty — Rumfustian — Mother-in-law — A delightful summer drink — Brasenose aleCHAPTER VIALL ALE61–71Waste not, want not — The right hand for the froth — Arthur Roberts and Phyllis Broughton — A landlord’s perquisites — Marc Antony and hot coppers — Introduction of ale into Britain — Burton-on-Trent — Formerly a cotton-spinning centre — A few statistics — Michael Thomas Bass — A grand old man — Malting barleys — Porter and stout — Lager beer — Origin of bottled ale — An ancient recipe — Lead-poisoning — The poor man’s beerCHAPTER VIIA SPIRITUOUS DISCOURSE72–82What is brandy? — See that you get it — Potato-spirit from the Fatherland — The phylloxera and her ravages — Cognac oil — Natural history of the vine-louse — “Spoofing” the Yanks — Properties of Argol — Brandy from sawdust — Desiccated window-sills — Enormous boom in whisky — Dewar and the trade — Water famine — The serpent Alcohol — Some figures — France the drunken nation, not Britain — Taxing of distilleries —Uisge beatha— Fusel oil — Rye whisky — Palm wine — John Exshaw knocked out by John BarleycornCHAPTER VIIIOTHER SPIRITS83–90Old Jamaica pine-apple — “Tots” for Tommy Atkins — The grog tub aboard ship —Omelette au rhum— Rum-and-milk — Ditto-and-ale — A maddening mixture — Rectifying gin — “The seasoning as does it” — Oil of turpentine and table-salt — A long thirst — A farthing’s worth of Old Tom — Roach-alum — Dirty gin — Gin and bitters — “Kosher” rum — An active and intelligent officer — Gambling propensities of the Israelites — The dice in the tumbler — Nomenclature at “The Olde Cheshyre Cheese” — “Rack” — “Cork”CHAPTER IXCUPS WHICH CHEER91–100Claret combinations — Not too much noyeau — A treat for schoolboys — The properties of borage — “Away with melancholy” —Salmon’s Household Companion— Balm for vapours — Crimean cup — An elaborate and far-reaching compound — Orgeat — A race-day cup — “Should auld acquaintance be forgot?” — Sparkling Isabella — Rochester’s delight — Freemason’s relish — Porter cup — Dainty drink for a tennis-partyCHAPTER XPUNCH101–114Derivation of the word questioned — Not an Asiatic drink — “Pale-punts” — No relation to pale punters — Properties of rum — Toddy as a tonic — Irish punch — Glasgie ditto — O’er muckle cauld watter — One to seven — Hech sirs! — Classical sherbet — Virtues of the feet of calves — West India dry gripes — Make your own punch — No deputy allowed — Attraction of capillaire — Gin punch — Eight recipes for milk-punch — University heart-cheerersCHAPTER XISTRANGE SWALLOWS115–125“Wormwood!”—The little green fairy — All right when you know it, but――— The hour of absinthe — Awful effects — Marie Corelli — St. John the Divine — Arrack and bhang not to be encouraged — Plain water — The original intoxicant — Sacred beverage of the mild Hindu — Chi Chi — Kafta, an Arabian delight — Friends as whisky agents — Effervescent Glenlivet — The peat-reek — American bar-keeper and his best customer — “Like swallerin’ a circ’lar saw and pullin’ it up again” — Castor-oil anecdote — “Haste to the wedding!”CHAPTER XII“THE BOY”126–136Definition of the youth — The valley of the Marne — An Archbishop in sparkling company — All is not cham. that fizzes — Beneficial effects of Pommery — Dire memories of the Haymarket — The bad boy at York — A hair of the canine — The good boy — Gout defied — Old Roman cellars — A chronic bombardment — Magnums to right of ’em — Duties of the disgorger — Simon the cellarer — Fifteen millions of full bottles — Pro-dig-i-ous! — Gooseberry champagne a myth — About Médoc — The ancients spelt claret with two “r’s” — Hints on adulteration — “Château Gubbins” — New wine — Gladstone claret — “Pricked!”CHAPTER XIIITHE OLD WINES AND THE NEW137–148Decline and fall of port — Old topers — A youthful wine-bibber — The whisky age succeeds the port age — “Jeropiga” — Landladies’ port — A monopoly — Portv.gout — A quaint breakfast in Reading — About nightcaps — Sherry an absolutely pure wine — Except when made within the four miles’ radius — Treading the grapes — “Yeso” — Pliny pops up again — “Lime in the sack” — What theLancetsays — “Old Sherry” —Faux pasof a General — About vintagesCHAPTER XIVTHE LONG AND THE SHORT OF IT149–161The Long Drink — Cremorne Gardens — Hatfield — Assorted cocktails — Brandy-and-Soda — Otherwise Stone Fence — Bull’s milk — A burglar’s brew — More cocktails — A “swizzle” — L’Amour Poussée — A corpse reviver — A golden slipper — A heap of comfortCHAPTER XVSTILL HARPING ON THE DRINK162–173Sangaree — Slings — John Collins — Smashes — Sour beverages — Home Ruler — Burning brandy — A prairie oyster — A turkey ditto — About negus, for white-frock and black-mitten parties — Egg nogg — A doctor — A surgeon-major — A new locomotive — Rumfustian — Pope — Bull’s milk — A bosom caresser — The Colleen Bawn — Possets — Sir Fleetwood FletcherCHAPTER XVI“APPLE SASS”174–184Ancient British seider — Conducive to longevity — The best made in Normandy — Which develops into champagne — And other popular and salubrious wines — Non-alcoholic cider — A loathsome brew — German manufacturers — Medical properties of apple juice — Away with melancholy — The mill and the press — Pure wine — Norfolk cider — Gaymer’s gout-fuge — Revival of the industry — Old process of cider-making — Improving the flavour — Boiled cider — Hippocras — Juniper cider — An ancient cider-cupCHAPTER XVIICORDIALS AND LIQUEURS185–197A chat about cherry brandy — Cherry gin — And cherry whisky — Sloe gin — Highland cordial — What King Charles II. swallowed — Poor Charles! — Ginger brandy — Orange-flower brandy — Employment of carraway seeds — The school treat — Use and abuse of aniseed — Do not drink quince whisky — Try orange brandy instead — A hell-broth — Curaçoa — Cassis — Chartreuse — The monks as benefactors — Some quaint tavern “refreshers” — Kirschenwasser — Noyeau — Parfait amour — Maraschino — A valuable ginger cordialCHAPTER XVIIITHE AFTERMATH OF REVELRY198–210Revelry means remorse — And “Katzenjammer” — And other things — Why will ye do it? — The devil in solution — Alcoholism a disease — An accountant on wires — A jumpy journalist — A lot of jolly dogs — What is “Langdebeefe”? — To cure spleen or vapours — Directly opposite effects of alcohol — The best pick-me-up in the world — An anchovy toast — Baltimore egg nogg — Orange quinine — About brandy and soda-water — A Scorcher — Brazil relish — St. Mark’s pick-me-up — A champion bitters — A devilled biscuit — Restorative sandwiches — Fresh air and exercise best of all — Stick to your nerve!CHAPTER XIXTHE DRINKS OF DICKENS211–226The lesson taught by “Boz” — Clothing Christmas — Dickens’s drunkards — Fantastic names for ales — Robbing a boy of his beer — A school supper — Poor Traddles — Micawber and punch — Revelry at Pecksniff’s — Todgers’s “doing it” — Delights of the “Dragon” — Sairey Gamp’s requirements — What was in the teapot — The “Maypole” — Sydney Carton’s hopeless case — Stryver’s model — “Little D.is Deed nonsense” — Dear old Crummles — A magnum of the Double Diamond — Newman Noggs — Brandy before breakfast — Mr. Fagin’s pupils — Orange-peel and water — Quilp on fire — “Pass the rosy” — Harold Skimpole — Joey Bagstock — Brandy-and-tar-water — That ass Pumblechook — An inexhaustible bottle — Jaggers’s luncheon — Pickwick v. total abstinence — Everything an excuse for a dram — Brandy and oysters — “The inwariable” — Milk-punch — Charm of thePickwick PapersCHAPTER XXSWORN OFF!227–237Introduction of temperance into England — America struck it first — Doctor Johnson an abstainer — Collapse of the Permissive Bill — Human nature and forbidden fruit — Effects of repressive legislation — Sunday closing in Wales — Paraffin for miners — Toasting her Majesty — A good win — A shout and a drink — Jesuitical logic of the prohibitioners — The end justifies the means — A few non-alcoholic recipes — Abstainers and alcohol — Pure spring-waterv.milk-punch — “Tried baith!”INDEX OF RECIPES239–243
CHAPTER ITHE OLD ADAM1–10
Introductory — Awful habits of the ancients — A bold, bad book — Seneca on the Drink Habit — The bow must not be always strung —Ebrietatis Encomium— The noble Romans — “Dum vivimus vivamus” — The skeleton at the banquet — Skull-cups — “Life and wine are the same thing” — Virgil and his contemporaries — Goats for Bacchus — The days of Pliny — Rewards for drunkenness — Novellius Torquatus — Three gallons at a draught — A swallow which did not save Rome — The antiquity of getting for’ard — Noah as a grape-grower — Father Frassen’s ideas — Procopius of Gaza — New Testament wine — Fermented or not? — Bad old Early Christians — Drunkenness common in Africa — Religion a cloak for alcohol — Tertullian on cider — Paulinus excuses intemperance — Excellence of Early Christians’ intentions
CHAPTER IIMORE FRIGHTFUL EXAMPLES11–21
Eating and drinking the only work of the monks — Nunc est bibendum — An apology for Herodotus — A jovial pope — Good quarters in Provence — Intemperance of holy men — A tippling bishop — Alexander the Great — “Lovely Thais sits beside thee” — A big flare-up — Awful end of Alec — Cambyses always shot straight — Darius the strong-of-head — Philip drunk and Philip sober — Dionysius gets blind — Tiberius loved the bowl — So did Flavius Vobiscus, the diplomatist — Bluff King Hal — The Merry Monarch and the Lord Mayor — Dear Old Pepys — A Mansion House wine-list — Minimum allowance of sack — A slump in brandy — A church-tavern — Dean Aldrich — The Romans at supper — “The tippling philosophers”
CHAPTER IVSOME OLD RECIPES36–47
Indifference of the Chineses — A nasty potion — A nastier — White Bastard — Helping it to be eager — Improving Malmsey — Death of the Duke of Clarence — Mum isnotthe word — English champagne — Life without Ebulum a blank — Cock ale — How to dispose of surplus poultry — Painful fate of a pauper —Potage pauvre— Duties of the old English housewife — Election of wines, not golf — Muskadine — Lemon wine — Familiar recipe — King William’s posset — Pope’s ditto
CHAPTER VGLORIOUS BEER48–60
Nectar on Olympus — Beer and the Bible — “Ninepenny” at Eton — “Number One” Bass — “The wicked weed called hops” — All is not beer that’s bitter — Pathetic story of “Poor Richard” — Secrets of brewing — Gervase Markham — An “espen” full of hops — Eggs in ale — Beer soup — The wassail bowl — Sir Watkin Wynne — Brown Betty — Rumfustian — Mother-in-law — A delightful summer drink — Brasenose ale
CHAPTER VIALL ALE61–71
Waste not, want not — The right hand for the froth — Arthur Roberts and Phyllis Broughton — A landlord’s perquisites — Marc Antony and hot coppers — Introduction of ale into Britain — Burton-on-Trent — Formerly a cotton-spinning centre — A few statistics — Michael Thomas Bass — A grand old man — Malting barleys — Porter and stout — Lager beer — Origin of bottled ale — An ancient recipe — Lead-poisoning — The poor man’s beer
CHAPTER VIIA SPIRITUOUS DISCOURSE72–82
What is brandy? — See that you get it — Potato-spirit from the Fatherland — The phylloxera and her ravages — Cognac oil — Natural history of the vine-louse — “Spoofing” the Yanks — Properties of Argol — Brandy from sawdust — Desiccated window-sills — Enormous boom in whisky — Dewar and the trade — Water famine — The serpent Alcohol — Some figures — France the drunken nation, not Britain — Taxing of distilleries —Uisge beatha— Fusel oil — Rye whisky — Palm wine — John Exshaw knocked out by John Barleycorn
CHAPTER VIIIOTHER SPIRITS83–90
Old Jamaica pine-apple — “Tots” for Tommy Atkins — The grog tub aboard ship —Omelette au rhum— Rum-and-milk — Ditto-and-ale — A maddening mixture — Rectifying gin — “The seasoning as does it” — Oil of turpentine and table-salt — A long thirst — A farthing’s worth of Old Tom — Roach-alum — Dirty gin — Gin and bitters — “Kosher” rum — An active and intelligent officer — Gambling propensities of the Israelites — The dice in the tumbler — Nomenclature at “The Olde Cheshyre Cheese” — “Rack” — “Cork”
CHAPTER IXCUPS WHICH CHEER91–100
Claret combinations — Not too much noyeau — A treat for schoolboys — The properties of borage — “Away with melancholy” —Salmon’s Household Companion— Balm for vapours — Crimean cup — An elaborate and far-reaching compound — Orgeat — A race-day cup — “Should auld acquaintance be forgot?” — Sparkling Isabella — Rochester’s delight — Freemason’s relish — Porter cup — Dainty drink for a tennis-party
CHAPTER XPUNCH101–114
Derivation of the word questioned — Not an Asiatic drink — “Pale-punts” — No relation to pale punters — Properties of rum — Toddy as a tonic — Irish punch — Glasgie ditto — O’er muckle cauld watter — One to seven — Hech sirs! — Classical sherbet — Virtues of the feet of calves — West India dry gripes — Make your own punch — No deputy allowed — Attraction of capillaire — Gin punch — Eight recipes for milk-punch — University heart-cheerers
CHAPTER XISTRANGE SWALLOWS115–125
“Wormwood!”—The little green fairy — All right when you know it, but――— The hour of absinthe — Awful effects — Marie Corelli — St. John the Divine — Arrack and bhang not to be encouraged — Plain water — The original intoxicant — Sacred beverage of the mild Hindu — Chi Chi — Kafta, an Arabian delight — Friends as whisky agents — Effervescent Glenlivet — The peat-reek — American bar-keeper and his best customer — “Like swallerin’ a circ’lar saw and pullin’ it up again” — Castor-oil anecdote — “Haste to the wedding!”
CHAPTER XII“THE BOY”126–136
Definition of the youth — The valley of the Marne — An Archbishop in sparkling company — All is not cham. that fizzes — Beneficial effects of Pommery — Dire memories of the Haymarket — The bad boy at York — A hair of the canine — The good boy — Gout defied — Old Roman cellars — A chronic bombardment — Magnums to right of ’em — Duties of the disgorger — Simon the cellarer — Fifteen millions of full bottles — Pro-dig-i-ous! — Gooseberry champagne a myth — About Médoc — The ancients spelt claret with two “r’s” — Hints on adulteration — “Château Gubbins” — New wine — Gladstone claret — “Pricked!”
CHAPTER XIIITHE OLD WINES AND THE NEW137–148
Decline and fall of port — Old topers — A youthful wine-bibber — The whisky age succeeds the port age — “Jeropiga” — Landladies’ port — A monopoly — Portv.gout — A quaint breakfast in Reading — About nightcaps — Sherry an absolutely pure wine — Except when made within the four miles’ radius — Treading the grapes — “Yeso” — Pliny pops up again — “Lime in the sack” — What theLancetsays — “Old Sherry” —Faux pasof a General — About vintages
CHAPTER XIVTHE LONG AND THE SHORT OF IT149–161
The Long Drink — Cremorne Gardens — Hatfield — Assorted cocktails — Brandy-and-Soda — Otherwise Stone Fence — Bull’s milk — A burglar’s brew — More cocktails — A “swizzle” — L’Amour Poussée — A corpse reviver — A golden slipper — A heap of comfort
CHAPTER XVSTILL HARPING ON THE DRINK162–173
Sangaree — Slings — John Collins — Smashes — Sour beverages — Home Ruler — Burning brandy — A prairie oyster — A turkey ditto — About negus, for white-frock and black-mitten parties — Egg nogg — A doctor — A surgeon-major — A new locomotive — Rumfustian — Pope — Bull’s milk — A bosom caresser — The Colleen Bawn — Possets — Sir Fleetwood Fletcher
CHAPTER XVI“APPLE SASS”174–184
Ancient British seider — Conducive to longevity — The best made in Normandy — Which develops into champagne — And other popular and salubrious wines — Non-alcoholic cider — A loathsome brew — German manufacturers — Medical properties of apple juice — Away with melancholy — The mill and the press — Pure wine — Norfolk cider — Gaymer’s gout-fuge — Revival of the industry — Old process of cider-making — Improving the flavour — Boiled cider — Hippocras — Juniper cider — An ancient cider-cup
CHAPTER XVIICORDIALS AND LIQUEURS185–197
A chat about cherry brandy — Cherry gin — And cherry whisky — Sloe gin — Highland cordial — What King Charles II. swallowed — Poor Charles! — Ginger brandy — Orange-flower brandy — Employment of carraway seeds — The school treat — Use and abuse of aniseed — Do not drink quince whisky — Try orange brandy instead — A hell-broth — Curaçoa — Cassis — Chartreuse — The monks as benefactors — Some quaint tavern “refreshers” — Kirschenwasser — Noyeau — Parfait amour — Maraschino — A valuable ginger cordial
CHAPTER XVIIITHE AFTERMATH OF REVELRY198–210
Revelry means remorse — And “Katzenjammer” — And other things — Why will ye do it? — The devil in solution — Alcoholism a disease — An accountant on wires — A jumpy journalist — A lot of jolly dogs — What is “Langdebeefe”? — To cure spleen or vapours — Directly opposite effects of alcohol — The best pick-me-up in the world — An anchovy toast — Baltimore egg nogg — Orange quinine — About brandy and soda-water — A Scorcher — Brazil relish — St. Mark’s pick-me-up — A champion bitters — A devilled biscuit — Restorative sandwiches — Fresh air and exercise best of all — Stick to your nerve!
CHAPTER XIXTHE DRINKS OF DICKENS211–226
The lesson taught by “Boz” — Clothing Christmas — Dickens’s drunkards — Fantastic names for ales — Robbing a boy of his beer — A school supper — Poor Traddles — Micawber and punch — Revelry at Pecksniff’s — Todgers’s “doing it” — Delights of the “Dragon” — Sairey Gamp’s requirements — What was in the teapot — The “Maypole” — Sydney Carton’s hopeless case — Stryver’s model — “Little D.is Deed nonsense” — Dear old Crummles — A magnum of the Double Diamond — Newman Noggs — Brandy before breakfast — Mr. Fagin’s pupils — Orange-peel and water — Quilp on fire — “Pass the rosy” — Harold Skimpole — Joey Bagstock — Brandy-and-tar-water — That ass Pumblechook — An inexhaustible bottle — Jaggers’s luncheon — Pickwick v. total abstinence — Everything an excuse for a dram — Brandy and oysters — “The inwariable” — Milk-punch — Charm of thePickwick Papers
CHAPTER XXSWORN OFF!227–237
Introduction of temperance into England — America struck it first — Doctor Johnson an abstainer — Collapse of the Permissive Bill — Human nature and forbidden fruit — Effects of repressive legislation — Sunday closing in Wales — Paraffin for miners — Toasting her Majesty — A good win — A shout and a drink — Jesuitical logic of the prohibitioners — The end justifies the means — A few non-alcoholic recipes — Abstainers and alcohol — Pure spring-waterv.milk-punch — “Tried baith!”
INDEX OF RECIPES239–243