Chapter 2

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EVENING ON THE LAGO MAGGIORE.

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“’KNOWEST THOU THE LAND’ WHERE THE GRAPES ARE AS PLENTIFUL AS BLACKBERRIES IN ENGLAND; AND WHERE ONE HAS ONLY TO STOP A MINUTE AT THE ROADSIDE, AND PULL NO END OF ’EM. O ’TIS THERE! ’TIS THERE! ETC.”—Robinson’s Letters to his Kinsfolk.

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A BOAT AT ORTA.

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A MOUNTAIN WALK.

ROBINSON, WITH WARMTH, AND SOME DISTANCE BEHIND,— “WHAT IS THE USE OF GOING ON AT THAT RATE?”

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POOR JONES! WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT HE COULD EVER BE TIRED!

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PLEASANT.

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THE ACCIDENT THAT BEFELL ROBINSON.—No. 1.

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THE ACCIDENT THAT BEFELL ROBINSON.—No. 2.

ORTA.

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ROBINSON RETIRES FOR THE NIGHT.

TO PREVENT ANXIETY, WE HAD BETTER STATE THAT HE IS TIRED—NOTHING ELSE.

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“NOW DO, ROBINSON, JUMP UP LIKE A GOOD FELLOW; WE OUGHT TO BE STARTING NOW—AND THINK HOW PLEASANT IT WILL BE, ONCE YOU ARE UP!”

VARALLO.

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THE INN.

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HOW BROWN, RETURNING FROM SKETCHING, WAS BESET BY BEGGARS IN A LONELY PLACE.

MILAN.

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ENLIGHTENED BEHAVIOUR IN A FOREIGN CHURCH.

WE ARE HAPPY TO SAY, THAT B. J. AND R. HAD NO CONNECTION WITH THE ABOVE PARTY.

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ROBINSON’S DETERMINATION TO LET HIS BEARD GROW “NATURALLY,” HAD AN ABSURD RESULT, THE HAIR GROWING IN VIOLENT AND ABRUPT CROPS IN SOME PLACES, AND NOT AT ALL IN OTHERS; SO THAT JONES, WHO WAS SENSITIVE ABOUT APPEARANCES, (AND WHOSE OWN MOUSTACHE WAS DOING BEAUTIFULLY,) INSISTED AT LAST UPON R.’S BEING SHAVED, WHICH EVENT ACCORDINGLY TOOK PLACE IN THE CITY OF MILAN. IT WAS WELL THAT ROBINSON CONSENTED, FOR THE BARBER EYED HIM EAGERLY, AND AS IF HE WOULD SPRING UPON HIM AND SHAVE HIM BY FORCE.

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CAFÉ MILAN.—SUDDEN AND UNEXPECTED ARRIVALOF DISTINGUISHED FOREIGNERS.

THE MOMENT WE SEATED OURSELVES IN A CAFÉ, AN AWFUL GROUP OF BEGGARS STOOD BEFORE US—SO SUDDENLY THAT THEY APPEARED TO HAVE COME UP THROUGH A TRAP-DOOR—AND DEMANDED ALMS. THEY WOULD NOT GO WITHOUT MONEY, AND WHEN THEY GOT IT THEY TOOK IT AS A RIGHT. IT WOULD NOT DO FOR ONE OF US TO “SETTLE” WITH THEM FOR THE WHOLE PARTY, FOR NO SOONER HAD I GIVEN THEM A COIN THAN THEY TURNED TO JONES, AND WHEN DONE WITH HIM, COOLLY SET UPON ROBINSON. THE INSTANT ONE TRIBE DEPARTED, A FRESH RELAIS ARRIVED, SO THAT THERE WAS A CONSTANT SUPPLY (OF BEGGARS) AND DEMAND (ON OUR PURSES).

NO PLACE SEEMED SAFE: IN THE MOST MAGNIFICENT AND LUXURIOUSLY-DECORATED CAFÉS THEY HAD PERFECT RIGHT OF WAY, THE CONTRAST BETWEEN THE RICH GILDING, GLASS, FOUNTAINS, ETC., OF THE ONE, AND THE RAGS, DIRT, AND DRAMATICALLY GOT-UP HORRORS OF THE OTHER BEING PICTURESQUE, BUT CERTAINLY NOT PLEASANT; AND YET, AS JONES REMARKED, THEY SAY THIS COUNTRY HAS NOT FREE INSTITUTIONS.

VERONA.

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THE AMPHITHEATRE, VERONA.

JONES ASKS ROBINSON, WHETHER HE “SEES BEFORE HIM THE GLADIATOR DIE?” BUT ROBINSON MAINTAINS A DIGNIFIED SILENCE.

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AUSTRIAN DETECTIVE STOPS BROWN TO EXAMINE HIS SKETCHING STOOL. IT PUZZLES HIM. THERE IS AN AIR OF MYSTERY ABOUT IT. IT MIGHT POSSIBLY BE A WEAPON TO BE USED FOR POLITICAL PURPOSES, OR AN INFERNAL MACHINE! WHO KNOWS? ON THE WHOLE, HE THINKS HE HAD BETTER DETAIN IT.

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SCENE—DISCOVERS BROWN SKETCHING.

ENTER THE AUSTRIAN ARMY. THEY ADVANCE UPON HIM, THEY THINK HE IS TAKING THE FORTIFICATIONS.

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ROBINSON, WHO IS MUCH GIVEN TO QUOTATION, IS, AT THE VERY MOMENT, LANGUIDLY RECITING THE LINES:—

"AM I IN ITALY? IS THIS THE MINCIUS?AND THOSE THE DISTANT TURRETS OF VERONA?AND SHALL I SUP WHERE JULIET AT THE MASQUESAW HER LOVED MONTAGUE?" —ETC., ETC.

"AM I IN ITALY? IS THIS THE MINCIUS?

AND THOSE THE DISTANT TURRETS OF VERONA?

AND SHALL I SUP WHERE JULIET AT THE MASQUE

SAW HER LOVED MONTAGUE?" —ETC., ETC.

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NOT BEING FAMILIAR WITH THE GERMAN, OR THE CROATIAN LANGUAGE, BROWN IS HELPLESS. HE PROTESTS HIS INNOCENCE, BUT THE MILITARY DON’T UNDERSTAND HIM. THEY SEE TREASON IN HIS HAT, WHICH IS OF AN ILLEGAL SHAPE, AND THEY ARREST HIM.

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JONES AND ROBINSON APPEAR, TO THE SURPRISE OF THE MILITARY, AND RELIEF OF BROWN.

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BROWN, QUITE RESIGNED, WALKS QUIETLY TO MEET HIS FATE. JONES PLUNGES VIOLENTLY, BUT IS FINALLY OVERCOME. ROBINSON RESISTS PASSIVELY, AND IS ACCORDINGLY DRAGGED ALONG.

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SKETCHES FOUND UPON BROWN.

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THEY ARE BROUGHT BEFORE THE GOVERNOR. THAT IS HE SEATED AT THE TABLE, THE SOLDIERS SHOWING HIM THE LIBELLOUS REPRESENTATIONS OF THE CROATS FOUND IN BROWN’S PORTFOLIO. THE LATTER EXPECTS TO BE ORDERED FOR INSTANT EXECUTION; BUT JONES ASSUMES AN AIR OF GREAT DIGNITY, AND SAYS,“Civis Romanus sum.”

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THE GOVERNOR, FIELD-MARSHAL LIEUTENANT COUNT BROWN, OF THE IMPERIAL SERVICE, DISCOVERS IN HIS PRISONER A NEAR RELATION OF HIS OWN; AND OUR FRIEND IS INSTANTLY LOCKED IN THE EMBRACE OF THAT DISTINGUISHED WARRIOR. JONES REMARKED “ALL’S WELL THAT ENDS WELL;” AND ROBINSON, GREATLY RELIEVED, BROKE OUT WITH:—

“THUS MAY EACH” NEPHEW “WHOM CHANCE DIRECTS,FIND AN” UNCLE “WHEN HE LEAST EXPECTS.”

“THUS MAY EACH” NEPHEW “WHOM CHANCE DIRECTS,

FIND AN” UNCLE “WHEN HE LEAST EXPECTS.”

VENICE.

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EXAMINATION OF PASSPORTS.

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HOTEL.

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MODERN VENETIAN TROUBADOURS.

AN EVENING SCENE BEFORE THE CAFÉFLORAIN, PIAZZA SAN MARCO.

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BROWN AT THIS PERIOD UNDERTOOK, AT THE URGENT REQUEST OF JONES AND ROBINSON, TO SETTLE THE ACCOUNTS OF THE PARTY, WHICH HAD BECOME COMPLICATED OWING TO THAT PERPLEXING “MEDIUM,” TO THOSE UNUSED TO IT, THE AUSTRIAN PAPER MONEY.

THIS IS A FAITHFUL PICTURE OF THE UNFORTUNATE MAN AS HE SAT, IN THE SOLITUDE OF HIS CHAMBER, UNTIL A LATE HOUR OF THE NIGHT, DRAWING UP THE “FINANCIAL” STATEMENT.

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ROBINSON (solo). —“I STOOD IN VENICE,” ETC.; JONES AND BROWN, HAVING HEARD SOMETHING LIKE IT BEFORE, HAVE WALKED ON A LITTLE WAY.

Reflection made byBROWN. —WHY DO PEOPLE WHEN REPEATING POETRY ALWAYS LOOK UNHAPPY?

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ENJOYMENT!

A SCENE UPON THE GRAND CANAL.

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THE THEATRE MALIBRAN.

THE ENTERTAINMENT COMMENCED AT 5 P.M., AND LASTED TILL 7. IT CONSISTED OF A MELODRAMA, FULL OF AWFUL CRIMES, AND THE MOST PATHETIC SENTIMENT. THE AUDIENCE, CHIEFLY COMPOSED OF “THE PEOPLE,” WAS, FROM BEGINNING TO END, IN AN EXTRAORDINARY STATE OF EXCITEMENT, FIZZING, LIKE THE PERPETUAL GOING OFF OF SODA-WATER. THE THEATRE WAS LIGHTED (?) BY ABOUT FOUR OIL LAMPS; AND SUCH WAS THE DARKNESS, THAT OUR TRAVELLERS—WHO MAY BE SEEN, PERHAPS, THROUGH THE “DIM OBSCURE,” UP IN A PRIVATE BOX—COULD SCARCELY DISCERN ANYTHING BUT THE WHITE UNIFORM AND GLITTERING BAYONET OF AN AUSTRIAN SENTINEL IN THE PIT.

A NIGHT IN VENICE.

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BROWN RETIRED TO REST.

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MISERY.

Note.— If theMusquitosappear rather large in this and the following scenes, let it be remembered that in the “heroic” it was a principle of many of the great painters to exaggerate the “parts.”

VENICE.

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THE ACCADEMIA.

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GONDOLA ON THE LAGOON.

SENTIMENT SPOKEN BY ROBINSON, WITH MARKS OF ADHESION FROM BROWN AND JONES. “OH, IF THERE BE AN ELYSIUM ON EARTH, IT IS THIS, IT IS THIS!!”

The Accademia

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SCENE I.

BROWN (SOLILOQUY). —“THIS IS PLEASANT! TO BE QUITE ALONE HERE (DAB), SURROUNDED BY THESE MAGNIFICENT WORKS (DAB, DAB, DAB), AND EVERYTHING SO QUIET TOO—NOTHING TO DISTURB ONE.” (DAB) AFTER A PAUSE. “I WONDER WHAT JONES AND ROBINSON ARE DOING (DAB, SPLASH)—LYING AT FULL LENGTH IN A GONDOLA, I DARE SAY—SMOKING (DAB), I THINK I COULD SPEND MY LIFE IN THIS PLACE” (DAB, DAB).

“IT IS DIFFICULT TO SAY WHICH IS THE GREATEST PLEASURE, (ANOTHER DAB,) COPYING THESE SPLENDID PICTURES, OR PAINTING FROM NATURE, THOSE BEAUTIFUL BLUE SKIES AND CRUMBLING OLD PICTURESQUE PALACES, OUTSIDE.”

(SINGS) —“’HOW HAPPY COULD I BE WITH EITHER.’” (PROLONGED PAUSE, AND GREAT PLAY WITH BRUSH) —“OH! THAT SUNSET LAST EVENING! AS WE LAY OUT IN OUR GONDOLA UPON THE PERFECTLY CALM WATERS, BY THE ARMENIAN CONVENT, AND WATCHED THE SUN SLOWLY GOING DOWN BEHIND THE DISTANT TOWERS AND SPIRES OF THE ‘CITY OF THE SEA’—ONE MASS OF GOLD SPREADING ALL OVER THE WEST!”   *   *   “OH! THOSE CLOUDS! (ANOTHER PAUSE) AH! THAT WAS HAPPINESS. ONE SUCH HOUR IS WORTH—LET ME SEE—HOW MANY YEARS OF ONE’S LIFE?   *   *   AND YET THIS IS—”

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SCENE II.

HE IS SET UPON AND SURROUNDED BY AN ENGLISH FAMILY, AND THE FOLLOWING DIALOGUE ENSUES:—

THE MAMMA. —“WHAT A DELIGHTFUL OCCUPATION, TO BE SURE.”

YOUNG LADY (IN A WHISPER). —“HE IS COPYING THE TINTORET.”

YOUTHFUL SON AND HEIR (WITH CONFIDENCE). —“NO, HE AIN’T; HE’S DOING THAT STUNNING BIG ONE WITH THE RAINBOW, AND THREE RIVER GODS.”

SECOND YOUNG LADY. —“IT’S SWEETLY PRETTY, ISN’T IT!”

PAPA (A BRITISH MERCHANT, AND OF A PRACTICAL TURN). —“VERY GOOD—V-E-R-Y GOOD. AHEM! NOW I WONDER WHAT ONE COULD MAKE A YEAR BY THAT KIND OF THING.”

YOUNG MAN (WITH GLASS IN HIS EYE). —“SLOW, I SHOULD THINK.”

AT THIS POINT BROWN’S ATTENTION WAS ATTRACTED TO A SCUFFLE GOING ON BEHIND HIM AMONGST THE JUNIOR MEMBERS OF THE PARTY. TWO OF THE LITTLE INNOCENTS HAD TAKEN A FANCY TO THE SAME DRAWING (A COPY OF HIS FAVOURITE JOHN BELLINO), AND AFTER A BRIEF, BUT FIERCE STRUGGLE FOR POSSESSION, HAD SETTLED THE DIFFICULTY BY TEARING IT IN TWO. (PARTY RETIRES RATHER PRECIPITATELY.)

TRIESTE TO VIENNA.

VIENNA.

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ARRIVED AT VIENNA, THEY VISIT THE THEATRE. A GENTLEMAN THERE, UNOBTRUSIVELY PAYS THEM GREAT ATTENTION.

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SCENE—SHOP, VIENNA.

JONES TO BROWN— “WHAT DO YOU SAY?”

BROWN (WHO SEES THAT ROBINSON IS BENT UPON MAKING A “MAGNIFICENT ADDITION” TO HIMSELF, AND THAT IT IS USELESS TO EXPOSTULATE). —“OH, I THINK IT IS SPLENDID; AND IF YOU WILL ONLY APPEAR IN IT IN PALL MALL, WHEN WE GET HOME AGAIN, YOU WILL MAKE A SENSATION.”

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THEY VISIT THE PICTURE GALLERIES.

THAT MAN IN THE DOORWAY SEEMS TO TAKE A GREAT INTEREST IN THEIR MOVEMENTS.

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THE PROMENADE.

BROWN THINKS IT IS THE SAME MAN! WHAT CAN HE WANT?

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THE PUBLIC GARDEN.

THERE HE WAS AGAIN! JONES SUGGESTED THAT PERHAPS IT WAS A GOVERNMENT OFFICIAL, WHO TOOK THEM FOR LIBERTY, EQUALITY, AND FRATERNITY.

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NO SOONER DID THEY TAKE THEIR PLACES AT THE TABLE D’HOTE TO DINE, THAN BROWN FELL BACK IN HIS CHAIR. THERE COULD BE NO DOUBT ABOUT IT—HE WAS BETTER DRESSED THAN BEFORE—BUT IT WAS THE SAME MAN! HE MUST BE A SPY!

VIENNA TO PRAGUE.

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“JUST TEN MINUTES TO DRESS, BREAKFAST, AND GET TO THE TRAIN.”

PRAGUE.

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WALLENSTEIN’S HORSE.

“THE HEAD, NECK, LEGS, AND PART OF THE BODY HAVE BEEN REPAIRED—ALL THE REST IS THE REAL HORSE.”—From speech of the young woman who showed the animal.

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A “KNEIPE” AT PRAGUE.

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ROBINSON IS SO CONFUSED WITH RAPID TRAVELLING, THAT HE ADDRESSES A WAITER IN THREE LANGUAGES AT ONCE. “KELLNER! —MITTAGS-ESSEN POUR TROIS —PRESTO PRESTO —AND —WAITER! —SODA WATER —COL COGNAC —GESCHWIND!”

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TABLE D’HOTE, PRAGUE.

PRAGUE TO COLOGNE.

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“PASSPORTS!” —“THAT’S THE SIXTH TIME WE HAVE BEEN WOKE UP,” GROANED ROBINSON.

RHINELAND AGAIN.

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HOW BROWN WAS SEATED BETWEEN TWO SOLDIERS, AND HOW THEY WOULD EXAMINE EACH OTHER’S SWORDS, AND HOW THOSE FEARFUL WEAPONS WERE FLASHING ABOUT, OFTEN WITHIN AN INCH OF B.’S NOSE: AND HOW (BEING OF A MILD AND PEACEFUL DISPOSITION), B. WAS KEPT THEREBY IN A CONSTANT STATE OF UNEASINESS.

BELGIUM.

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ARTICLES PURCHASED BY ROBINSON.

1. Eau de Cologne. 2. Pipe; (never smoked.) 3. Hat; (never worn, and found decidedly in the way.) 4. Cigars; (stopped at Custom House.) 5. Tauchnitz Editions; (also seized.) 6. Cornet à pistons; (bought in Germany with the intention of learning to play upon it some day.) 7. Gloves; (purchased at Venice, a great bargain, and found utterly worthless.)

OLD ENGLAND.

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Sic(k) Transit

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Gloria Mundi!

BRADBURY AND EVANS,PRINTERS EXTRAORDINARY TO THE QUEEN,WHITEFRIARS.

Text of Title PageThe Foreign Tourof MessrsBROWN, JONES, and ROBINSON.Being the History ofWhat they Saw, and Didin Belgium, Germany,Switzerland & Italy.byRichard Doyle.London. Bradbury & Evans. Whitefriars.Contents(derived from page headers)LondonOstendOstend to CologneCologneCologne to BonnBonnThe RhineCoblentzThe Rhine(resumes)Mayence to FrankfortFrankfortHeidelbergThe ReviewBadenBaden to BasleBasleSwitzerlandItalyItalian LakesOrtaVaralloMilanVeronaVeniceA Night in VeniceVenice(resumes)Trieste to ViennaViennaVienna to PraguePraguePrague to CologneRhinelandBelgiumEnglandThumbnail of Front Cover (uncropped)

The Foreign Tourof MessrsBROWN, JONES, and ROBINSON.Being the History ofWhat they Saw, and Didin Belgium, Germany,Switzerland & Italy.byRichard Doyle.London. Bradbury & Evans. Whitefriars.

The Foreign Tour

of Messrs

BROWN, JONES, and ROBINSON.

Being the History of

What they Saw, and Did

in Belgium, Germany,

Switzerland & Italy.

by

Richard Doyle.

London. Bradbury & Evans. Whitefriars.

Thumbnail of Front Cover (uncropped)


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