Yours truly, in Him, J. C.
Thus far the Lord has led me on,Thus far his power prolong’d my days,And every grand display of loveAdds fresh memorials of his grace.
“A City, set on a hill, which cannot be hid.”
“A City, set on a hill, which cannot be hid.”
TO THE SAME.
Dear Brother,—Having begun the solemn, arduous, and important work of proclaiming the name and fame of the dear God-man, I found the truth was blessed to several, and the Lord led me on. I was presently invited to speak before the Westminster Society very often, and to preach at good Mr. Burnham’s, the Baptist Meeting, in Grafton-street, at seven o’clock in the morning; from thence to Edward-street, Soho; and, it was at this time I was providentially brought to Mrs. Bar’s, in Orange street. I had been in the ministry a considerable time before I went there; and the occasion of my going there was simply this: a Mr. Weston, whom I had heard with pleasure, at the Adelphi Chapel, was engaged to preach at Mrs. Bar’s: I ran from mywork, with my apron on, to the house, and when I came there, I found Mrs. B. had heard I was coming to hear the Word, and was asking all who came in, if their names were Church, “for” she said, “if he comes, he must speak to night, as Mr. Weston is not able to come.” She, of course, intreated me to give an exhortation; this I did, as the people were destitute that night. I spoke on my favorite subject, the love of Christ,Johnxi. 36. The congregation being satisfied, I was invited to visit them every fortnight, which I did, being disengaged on Monday evenings. Here I often found it good to be, and the Lord gave frequent testimonies to the Word of his Grace. I preached several times at Dudley-court, for a Mr. Garniss; and soon after I was invited to Paddington, where I preached in a small room, till it was so crowded they thought it necessary to build a meeting, which was soon accomplished, in Bell-street, Edgeware Road, where I continued my labours as often as possible. When I first went to Paddington, there was no gospel preached there, except by the worthy and useful philanthropic Rev. Basil Wood, whose full value will never be known in this lower world. While thus fully employed, I was called, in providence, to Barrett’s-court, to preach in a house, where an elderly gentleman, Mr. Dunhall, had preached for some years. I generally preached on Fridays and Sunday evenings, till the concourse of people became so great, I was sometimes alarmed for the safety of the house; it was at this place good Mr. Baker, the long and invariable friend of Mr.Huntington, heard me, as he said, with sacred pleasure, and informed Mr. H. of it. Shortly after this, the lease being out, the preaching was given up, which I much regretted; as I had enjoyed many blessed seasons there. I continued at my daily employment, thought over my subjects at my shop bench, and preached wherever I was invited; occasionally for the Itinerants, at Ealing, Mill Hill, Hendon, and other places, but particularly at the Hyde. Thus my head, my heart, my tongue, feet, and hands, were perpetually employed; and I think they were the happiest moments of my life, when, like the apostle, I went forth among the Gentiles, “taking nothing of them, for his name sake.”—3John, 7. Having lost my favorite spot, another door opened to me. (But more of this presently.) I often regretted I could not hear my favorite, Mr. L. at all, as all my time was taken up, as I have just related; and having been in the ministry about two years, I was speaking one morning, at Mr. Burnham’s Meeting, uponSongiii. 4, “Saw ye him whom my soul loveth?” When I had concluded, Mr. Jesson, who is now in heaven, came to me, and observed, I had been speaking much of the love of Christ, but the question was, had I ever kept his commandments; I told him I hoped I had, at least some of them; to which he replied, that there was one he feared I had not kept, and that was the ordinance of Baptism. I told him I was, in a measure, convinced that adult baptism was right, but I wanted a better understanding of it, that I might see it my duty and privilegeto attend to it. This ordinance was that day to be administered, and a sermon to be preached previous to it. I attended, and Mr. B. spoke from this text, “We use great plainness of speech.” This was a plain sermon, on some very plain truths, and which plainly proved the doctrine was from heaven: and what was I, that I could resist the truth? I had, before this period, seen the ordinance of believers baptism was scriptural; but I was now fully persuaded it was of Divine appointment—a sacred institution, and ought to be obeyed as a Divine command. I had heard good Mr. Keeble, in Blandford-street, with pleasure and profit. I knew several of the members, who were pious, discreet persons. It was but shortly after I had heard Mr. B. as above, I proposed myself to Mr. K. as a candidate for baptism: I gave in my experience at the church-meeting, and was received without a dissenting voice, but there was a condition to be performed, to which I hastily gave my consent, which was, to decline preaching entirely, as it was not agreeable to the order of the particular Baptists, to baptize any preacher, as a preacher, without first resigning that office, submitting to baptism, and, after a period, to have his gifts tried at the church-meetings, and then, either going forward, or keeping back, as that church directed. At first, this appeared to be right, and to this I agreed, as soon as I had taken leave of my many little congregations, I would then agree to such orders, and to this I most solemnly agreed before the deacons. I went to all my little places, and bid them farewell,and my mind seemed a little at ease. As I had many doubts rising in my mind, about my call to the work, I thought, in the multitude of counsellors, there would be safety if I ever was called out again; but, after a few weeks rolled away, I was deeply convinced the Lord had called me to the work of the ministry. I constantly kept looking up to God for direction, and it came to me with great power: that as the Lord had blessed my labours to many, and as he had called me himself, qualified me, and opened doors for me, I did not think I was acting right to give it up. Besides, the many pressing invitations on every hand, I concluded that my public work was of much greater importance than my act of baptism. I still considered it of importance to be baptized, that it was a Divine command, and ought to be obeyed; but, why one ordinance was to jostle out another, I could not tell. One Sunday morning, my mind was much distressed about it, and this was attended with prayer, and many tears; my wife seeing my uneasiness, reasoned with me, and told me, as God had called me to the ministry, I ought to go on; and if I saw baptism right, I could submit to that also; and, being thus fully persuaded in my own mind, that both were right, I waited on Mr. K. and opened my mind fully to him; but the good man could not alter the plan, and therefore, I gave up every idea of uniting myself to that body of Christians, and went on preaching the gospel, agreeable to the apostle’s advice, “Let every manabidein the place to which God has called him.” I mustconfess I do not see the exact propriety of this method, adopted by particular Baptists. I beg pardon if I err; but I will suppose a case: that the Lord should call forth a man to preach his word, and that man have scriptural reasons, with the testimony of God in his soul, and proof of his success, but, through some prejudice, the church disapproves of him—is that man to decline the work, because the voice of the church is not unanimous to the call? I leave this subject for wiser heads to determine. The apostle Paul was first converted, then he was baptized, and then he preached the gospel; and,afterthese things, he assayed to join himself to the church; but, this is no more rule for believers now than the manner of his conversion was for ours. Some are gently led along, others are deeply exercised with the bondage of the law; some have had a drop of the wrath of God, on the spirit, as David, Job, Heman, and, perhaps, Paul; but, others, only have a slight apprehension of it, yet enough to shew them their need of Christ, as a surety, righteousness, atonement, and complete Saviour. This was my case.—Grace be with you.
I remain yours, J. C.
How harsh soe’er the way,Dear Saviour, still lead on,Nor leave us till we say,Father, thy will be done.Finish, dear Lord, what is begun;Choose thou the way, and still lead on.
“And the Lord shall go before thee.”
“And the Lord shall go before thee.”
To —
How dear are the saints to their Lord; and they are dear to us. The memory of some of them is precious, especially those who have been useful to our souls. The remembrance of our late pastor, Mr. Burnham, will ever be dear to our hearts; it was under his ministry we first met, and with him we hope to spend a blessed eternity, through the grace of our dear Lord. The reasons for my first joining the church, under that good man’s ministry, were this; Mr. Keeble refused baptism to me, because it was disorderly to baptize a preacher without first becoming a member of that church, and being called out by that church; and having occasionally heard Mr. B. I waited on him, and related the whole business, as in my last letter. Mr. B. was as zealous for strict order as Mr. K. but with this difference, that although I might still exercise in the sacred work constantly, yet, till I had passed the regular orders, I should not have the sanction and approbation of the church. This sanction I doubtless considered important; and as I was privileged still to go on in the ministry, my mind was at ease on that subject. After conversation and prayer with Mr. B. I was proposed as member to the church. I attended, gave an account of the Lord’s dealings with me, was strictly examined by Mr. B. as to soul matters, my motives and views in joining the church, and going on in the ministry;and being satisfied himself, and the church likewise, the day was appointed for the ordinance of Baptism to be administered, I spoke, as usual, on the same Lord’s-day morning, and previous to the Baptism, chose that fine passage, 90thPsalm, “And let the beauty of the Lord our God be upon us.” In the forenoon Mr. B. preached on, “For by one spirit are we all baptized into one body.” It was an excellent sermon. When I came to the water, I was permitted to address the audience, in which I gave my views of the ordinance, and my motives for thus obeying the command. You remember the time, the place, and the circumstances. I was just 28 years of age, and had been above three years in the public ministry. The Lord, I hope, was with us. On the following Lord’s Day, I was admitted to the Lord’s Supper with the brethren who were baptized with me—and shortly after this, I had the painful task to signify to the church my wish to have my talents tried before them, previous to their sanctioning my going out as a preacher. I knew I had the Lord’s approbation; at least, when in a good frame of mind I both saw it and felt it; but if I had the church’s likewise, I should of course be well pleased. Every Tuesday evening was appointed for that purpose. The church met, and the first time I was to choose my own subject, which wasJohn, xvi. 14. This met with general approbation. The next Tuesday the minister was to appoint the text, which he did,Rom.viii. 16. This was not so much to his mind, though he approved of thetruths I uttered. The last time was by the church’s request,Rom.viii. 29, 30. These were all approved of, but none like the first. It was then proposed to the church, whether they considered me as called and qualified for the ministry; which was carried without a dissenting voice. Our pastor then gave me a most solemn charge on the subject, and I believe he acted as became a Christian, a gospel minister, and a circumspect man. I felt some sacred pleasure in this approbation, and went forth teaching and preaching. The Lord was with me most sensibly, and many souls were edified, comforted, and built up on their most holy faith. The Scriptures were opened to them, and God gave them light, life, love and liberty. This I have frequently been informed of, from various quarters. I was exceedingly partial to village preaching, and have many times regretted ever leaving it, to be settled over any people; but the Lord had ordained it otherwise before I had an existence: forHeworketh all things after the counsel of his own will, and you and I knowHeis too wise to be mistaken.
God bless and shine upon you; and remember, they that turn many to Christ, shall shine as the stars in the firmament of heaven for ever.
Yours, J. C.
“And I will direct their work in truth.”
“And I will direct their work in truth.”
To —
I think the first time the Lord led you under my poor feeble ministry, was at Lant-street, Borough. I think it necessary to inform you of the leadings of Divine Providence in that business. While a member of the church at Grafton-street, under the ministry of Mr. B. yet continually preaching, I became acquainted with a good man, a minister of the gospel, who had received an invitation to preach at Lant-street, but being engaged elsewhere, he requested I would go in his stead, to which I consented, without asking my pastor’s opinion, or the opinion of any other discreet man: here began my popularity, and here, alas! began my misery also. I went, and soon strutted into the pulpit with long robes, in which, at first, I felt very awkward, but it exactly met the native vanity of my heart: the chapel had been sadly deserted before, but I being a stranger, the place was crowded. After I had preached a few times here, I continued morning and evening for some time. No one in the Borough knew me, and it was so much the better in one sense, though not in another; for, preaching the early lecture at Mr. B’s. then coming into the Borough, preaching again, destitute of a shilling, and acquainted with no one in the neighbourhood, I was obliged to walk, perhaps in the afternoon, to Redcross-street, in the City, and back to Lant-street, to preach my fourth sermonfor the day; yet, no one invited me to partake a dinner with them for some weeks; this made me faint and weary, till my circumstances were better known, and then I found the people in the Borough, and St. George’s Fields, the most generous and friendly I ever met with in my travels; but I must make you smile. A good man, who is an excellent preacher now, and who has long known me, one day, about this time of my preaching at Lant-street, said to me, “C. I think you play the hypocrite the best I ever knew one in my life.” This startled me at first, till he explained himself thus: “I was hearing you at Lant-street, last Sunday, and saw you dressed in your full robes, and yet I knew you had not a shoe to your feet, and in the most indigent circumstances.” I only replied, that I thought being poor, and seeming so, was of no use to me. Mr. G. returned from his travels, so that my services were then wanted no more there. Mr. G. did not know me at that time. I knew him, having heard him once only, some years before I was in the ministry; but, hearing much of me, he sent for me, to preach, one Lord’s-day evening. The gentleman alluded to in the beginning of this letter, was asked for some one to go into Oxfordshire; his mind ran directly to me, and he advised me to go there; and, as usual, I soon gave my consent, and went down to the place, the day before Christmas Day: the journey was long, but I arrived safe, was cordially received, and preached there on the Christmas Day; I was well received, and abode a month; the people andthe managers treated me with every mark of affection, and I returned to London, loaded with their kindness. Never having experienced such treatment before, and meeting with some experimental Christians, and many who loved the truth, the people became very dear to me; it was shortly proposed to me to settle with them, and I gave my consent. Here I acted just as self willed as I had done before, and advised with no godly minister, or experienced people upon the subject. It is the wisdom of the wise to understand his way, but, alas! I did not; which I see the folly of now it is too late to mend, but the Lord has borne long with my manners in the wilderness.
Yours, truly, J. C.
And while upon the earth I live,I want the Saviour’s love in view,And say, my God, my sins forgive,And pardon all my virtues too.
“Behold, the day is come,” saith the Lord, “that the ploughman shall overtake the reaper.”
“Behold, the day is come,” saith the Lord, “that the ploughman shall overtake the reaper.”
To —
It was the sin of Rehoboam, that he regarded the counsel of the young men, and forsook the advice of the aged; and had I listened to you, I might have escaped a thousand trials. I am speaking after themanner of men. If we have no native prudence it must be learnt by heavy stripes. An imprudent man is sure to make crooked paths for his own feet; this, alas, has been my case. You, perhaps, will remember the time when you acted as a mother to me and mine, and gave us advice respecting our removal to Banbury. My intentions, I hope, were pure: there was a large congregation in the town, and many who loved the truth; they were a destitute people: there were about twenty villages around, where the truth was wanted. I longed for an opportunity to give myself to study, and to be wholly devoted to the ministry: these were certainly important considerations. The people chose me without a negative, and promised to make me comfortable. The income was small, and having just began to be popular in London, I had, of course, many little sacrifices to make, to quit my own business, which, though the profits were small, yet, the employment was constant; my wife had to give up her’s also, which helped sometimes to render us comfortable: but money was no idol of mine, had it been, I should have looked better to my ways, and escaped a few of the many troubles I have so deeply experienced. We were obliged to part from the little furniture we had, and to borrow twenty pounds, in order to procure what we needed, with some useful books, which I wanted, as I fully intended to devote myself to intense reading; but, I found the way of man is not in himself; it is not in man that walketh, to direct his steps. Myself and family, five of us, arrived,through mercy, safe, and I commenced my ministerial career; was well attend at the chapel, and invited to many villages around, which I constantly visited. I had been almost four months before I received one quarter’s salary, so that we were obliged to go in debt for every article of life; this was most distressing to us, especially as we did not receive our due, only by piece-meal; besides, several gentlemen had ordered furniture into the house, whom I, of course, concluded intended to pay for it, but we were sadly mistaken. I laboured in many villages, travelled many tedious miles, and scarcely any one offered me a shilling, or sent me any necessary article, although their houses were loaded with bacon, their gardens with vegetables, and their trees with fruits: the only apology I can make for them is, that they did not know I wanted it, or else, I think they would have acted more kindly. Having continued a while, and never administered the ordinance of baptism, although many were Baptists in heart, yet they did not like to take up the cross; and I, being so self-conceited, supposed, before I came among them, I should soon have the pleasure of seeing them all Baptists, and form a Baptist church in that place; but, in this I was mistaken, for God resisteth the proud; and, although many confessed it was right, there was but two who wished to obey the command. Being, however, successful in some other way, in regard to truth, it was proposed I should be ordained among them; this was a hasty act of mine, as I was extremely uncomfortable in my situation, on accountof my circumstances, but hoping the next quarter would be better, the ordination was appointed, the ministers invited; half of whom were Baptists, and half Independents: the gentlemen who officiated acted very kindly to me, gave me good private advice, and conducted the business of the day with good order and solemnity. I never so sensibly felt the importance of my call as I did on that day, in the month of July, 1807; the ministers were the following: Mr. Reid, of Warwick, Mr. Franklin, of Coventry, Baptists; Mr. Scraggs, of Buckingham, and Mr. Taylor, of Witney, Independents. I gave no account of my principles, and desired to say something about the Lord’s dealings with me, and my motives for going into the ministry; but, this was objected to on this occasion. I think I shall never forget the solemnity of the day, the account of which was published in the Evangelical Magazine. Nothing particular transpired, from the ordination in July to the following March; only that I found I should never accomplish my wish in settling the church, so that I was obligated to administer the Lord’s Supper to Independents, and the very few Baptists that were among them; my circumstances I found, got rather worse than better; this gave me much secret distress, and I often begged the Lord to let me return to London, to my old business, and friends. I found also, that although I had an opportunity of close reading, the heart was not given me, and my active busy mind was always upon the wing, unstable and unsettled. Constant exercise inpreaching took me from home, and buried reflections. I remember a piece of advice that was given me by a good man, whose name I have already mentioned—“Preach less, and read more.” A number of villages welcomed me, and I was kept in perpetual exercise. The Lord blessed the word, but I was puffed up with vanity and pride, which would, no doubt, have been my ruin; but that bladder was soon pricked with reproach, and some disgrace. I had some scandal while at Banbury, but this was chiefly on account of my principles; except in one case, a poor spiteful Socinian asserted, that I came from the pulpit to the Lord’s table, and took the cup, and drank a health to the lovely Jesus. This report spread far and wide, and many were much hurt about it; but, that was soon suppressed. If it had been true, there was no such great crime in the act, as the ordinance of the Lord’s supper is designed to commemorate that spiritual and eternal health which the Saviour brought to us; and believers, drinking the same cup together, is drinking spiritual health to each other, and prosperity to the Redeemer’s kingdom. The dear Saviour, having put away sin, and brought health and cure to his people, came to his disciples, when they were assembled, and the first kind word he said, was—“All hail!”—that is, all health. Thus, this holy Dove appeared, with the olive branch of peace in his mouth, after the awful flood of vindictive wrath was over; and every believer, either in a greater or lesser degree, has this testimony in his own soul—that, after a season of muchbondage, hardness, distress of mind, sense of divine displeasure, fears of death, and an humbling sense of guilt, vileness and distance from God, the Saviour has graciously appeared, in some way or other to them, and brought power, health, peace, and joy. Although this seldom lasts long, yet such visits are the dealings of the spirit, demonstrating our interest in his love. May the dear Redeemer pay you many such visits.
Yours, truly, J. C.
Oh, teach my sinful soul, to soar,Confess the Saviour, and his steps adore;Devoted let me live, submissive die,And hope a glorious Paradise on high.
“Thence will I command the serpent, and he shall bite them.”
“Thence will I command the serpent, and he shall bite them.”
TO THE SAME.
I have intimated my partiality to village preaching; I had my heart’s desire in this instance, but I got leanness in my soul; my home was too much deserted, and the souls of my new flock neglected; my study forsaken; my vanity fed; and though poor as a church mouse, I was as proud as the devil: this did not appear in my general deportment, but wise men saw it. A very elegant suit of canonical robes were made a present to me, and in these, I had the vanity to strut through the town on Sunday, threetimes a day, to the chapel, admired by those who were as vain as myself. Oh! what folly and vanity I see in these thingsnow; but, I wanted to look as much like the church as I could; and what for, but merely to escape persecution, and that the offence of the cross might cease. Flying from persecution, I met with ten thousand times worse disgrace, and my case was a little like those persons of whom the Prophet speaks;Amos, iii. 19—“I fled from a lion and a bear met me, I went into the house, and leaned on the wall, and a serpent bit me.” About the month of March, 1808, I thought of the kindness of an old and mutual friend, Mr. Alexander, who was a deacon of Mr. G’s.; I sent him a letter, and begged to hear from him; the consequence of this was, a letter came from Mr. G. in friendly terms, to which I gave as friendly an answer. A proposition was soon sent down, to exchange pulpits with Mr. G. for a month; and, as I longed to get to town, I was glad of the opportunity. Some of the friends at B— had seen a book of Mr. G’s.; and they, being much pleased with it, consented to my going to town. I came, and preached on Good Friday, and the following Sunday the chapel was thronged. I became much known and beloved. I had many pressing invitations to stay in town, and have since regretted I did not accept them; but, my heart felt for the flock left behind me; many letters passed to and fro between myself and friends, especially those who had advised me not to have any thing to do with Mr. G. nor to preach for him in town; I did not know who were hisfriends or his enemies, till they came about me like bees, and laid many things to his change. When I found this, I felt more anxious to return, and wrote to these very professed friends accordingly, stating that I was sorry I had not taken their advice. These friends, during my absence, had been in company with Mr. G. and had altered their minds; of course, made Mr. G. acquainted with the contents of my letters. Mr. G. let no opportunity slip of speaking disrespectfully of me. I however returned, and found, to my surprise, some of the most respectable of the congregation would not speak to me; this hurt my feelings not a little, but the poor of the flock still cleaved to me. My visit in London did me much good, and the hand of the Lord was in it. I felt, however, determined to abide in this place; till the Lord turned me out; for, I having so little native wisdom, prudence, or foresight, I knew not what to wish or do for the best. I once more visited my villages, Bodicott, Kingham, Hook, Nortan, Middleton, Cheny, Chalcomb, Sulgrave, and many other places. In the month of June, I received a pressing invitation to Birmingham, Warwick, Bedworth, and Coventry, which I could not accept till my wife, who was near her time, was delivered; as that was a time I perpetually dreaded, so I could not, would not leave home. But, on the 8th of July, 1808, it being our lecture night, my wife was taken bad, and safely delivered of a daughter: my mind had been uneasy all the day, nor could I find a text in the whole Bible, to preach on in the evening; I was obligated to goto chapel without one, and after prayer could find no other text than this one word—“Farewell.” On this I preached for some time. Many thought, after my departure, that I never intended to return, from the singularity of my text; but, I fully intended it, nor had I the least idea of leaving them, only for a fortnight, to visit the places to which I had been invited: I proposed returning, but the Lord did not intend I should. The next evening I preached at a village, on “These are they that came through much tribulation.” I conversed freely, on divine subjects, with my friends, and was particularly happy in soul, as, in fact, I had been from the time I left town; yet I never dreamed of the storm at hand; but this I have known, often before a storm I have found an universal stillness; and, at times, great spirituality, nearness to God, and a brightening up of every evidence. I mention this to the honour of God’s grace, which has been so often experienced by me. The next morning I took leave of my family, to go my journey, and just as I was going out, a letter was brought to me, from a person, containing some very distressing charges. I had not time to stay to clear that matter up, as I had no means of sending to the places to which I was going, to contradict, or rather postpone my visit. I left it in the hands of a person I supposed my friend, till I returned to the town; but to that town I never did return. I went on my journey with a heavy heart, and the most dreadful and inconceivable anguish of spirit. The Lord enabled me to preach that evening at Kineton, and, thenext day I walked ten miles further—arrived at Warwick, and preached there on Friday evening. Ah! little did the crowded congregation think what I felt. The next day I went further, and preached at Bedworth on Sunday three times; one of which was a charity sermon for a school. On Monday I arrived at Coventry; on Tuesday I travelled on to Birmingham, where I was kindly received; I preached there on the Tuesday, Thursday, and the following Sunday. While in the pulpit I was in some measure happy; but, when in company, I was wretched: solitude suited my distressed heart. I was invited to Wolverhampton, Bilston, and Briarley-hill, and so on. All these places I visited, and the word was well received; but, oh, my sorrows! I cannot paint them. I continued at Birmingham a month, or nearly so; the amiable, kind, and spiritual people I was with, saw my distress, and being invited far into the country, I felt resolved to go. But just as I made up my mind for the journey, I received a pressing invitation to London; a chapel having been provided for me, if I would come; with which I complied immediately. During the time I was at Birmingham many letters passed between myself and the managers at B—. The deacons intreated my return upon certain conditions, to which I consented; but the trustees objected to it: it was amidst this pro and con that I received this letter to come to London. My most invaluable friend in Birmingham, at whose house I was, appointed a place to meet my accusers, in company with a godly minister, and some others.We met at a place called Chapel-house, near Chipping Norton, in Oxfordshire, and in some measure gained a satisfaction. I returned to Birmingham, preached that night, and on the Sunday following; took my leave on Tuesday, and proceeded to London on Wednesday. The meeting in the Borough was opened for me, and crowds soon attended. My family came to town, and all my debts were paid in B— shortly after. I was much grieved for the cause in B—, as there are many pious persons there, who love the truth. Peace be with them all. Mr. G. now received an invitation to the place, but his time was but a few weeks there. The Lord often deals in a way of retaliation, even with his own people; but, I forbear. I was no sooner settled at Chapel-court, but I had frequent invitations to other places: the congregation was unsettled at Grub-street: here I preached several times, for each party. If persons fall out it is nothing to me; I have but one subject, Christ; and if that will not unite parties, nothing will. The people behaved very kind to me; and if I could have given them satisfaction, on a certain point, no doubt I should have settled among them: but I shrunk from investigation, because I was conscious of having acted imprudently—and, as I knew: I could not be comfortable among them, nor be much credit to them, I silently evaded them all, and left my case with the great Head of the Church, who had pardoned my soul, but told me—from henceforth thou shalt have wars.—While I thus preached for them, they all acted very kind to me,especially a Mrs. Mc. I shall meet some of them in glory, although prejudice will not let them even speak to me on earth. This reflection as pleasant and painful, but I justify them in it. No man upon earth so prone as I am to idolize the creature, or to lean on his puny arm; this, this is the cause of the long contention, and all my disgrace, grief, and woe. No one could look upon my trials, but most ask—is there not a cause?
I continued at Chapel-court for some months, and preached at other places; also Bunhill-row, Glass-house Yard, and you can well remember the Lord’s-day at Waltham Abbey. I preached at Westminster, and near Leicester-square. My enemies were busy, but all of no avail: the Lord still led me on, though not without some trials. In this year I was called to endure a new affliction, the loss of a darling daughter, about five or six years of age: these were feelings the most painful, but can never be described. Having no relations in the world, I knew not what it was to lose them by death, and having so little fortitude, I was almost inconsolable. My feelings, when seeing her depart, were such as I had been a stranger to before then. I had seen saint and sinner depart, and had long wept with those that wept, but now it was personal. I had preached at a friend’s house, at Camberwell, occasionally; and the evening before her death, my mind was forcibly struck with, and I preached from, Psalm cxxvi. last verse. When I concluded, and on my road home, it appeared to me as if the text was like leaven working in my mind;it was applied to me. The Lord knew what I should feel that night, and the next day I found my dear girl worse. The nurse called me about half-past three; it was not quite light, the eastern sky became enlightened; a solemn stillness pervaded all nature; I stood by her bed-side, and saw her breathe her last. I trust the morning of her better, her eternal day begun. Happy Mary, that thy Lord called thee home so soon! and never, whilst memory holds her seat, shall I forget thy little voice, the day of thy departure—“Mary will die, and go to see the Lord.” But this is my hope; I close these remarks on my dear girl.—
This lovely bud, so young and fair,Call’d hence by early doom;Just came to shew how sweet a flowerIn Paradise would bloom.
That same evening I was obliged to preach; and no other text could I get but this—“He has done all things well.” May I not say so now? Another calamity came soon after: a young woman, who had lived with us at B—, as a companion to my wife, and who was exceedingly kind to her in my troubles there, had a desire to see London, and spend some time with us. We sent for her, and she continued for about two months. She seemed to be pious, and to understand the gospel. She was suddenly taken ill; the faculty did not exactly understand the nature of her complaint, and although she was poorly, she expressed a desire to hear me as long as shecould, and to go to the ordinance of the Lord’s Supper. She came, but was so ill she could not attend to any thing. She grew worse, and her head was dreadfully affected. She at times became raving mad; but at one time she was very sensible; and while she slept, as we all thought, my wife, myself, and some other friends, were talking about the things of God, she spoke very sensibly and slowly, and suddenly uttered, “O what a mercy to be beloved of Jesus!” I was just going to enter into conversation with her; but she grew worse, and shortly after slept in Jesus. Glad would her dear parents have been, had they attended her; but they were near 100 miles off. Yet we got her, perhaps, much better attendance than she could have had at home. On account of the distance from the family, with much regret we deposited her remains in the burial-ground of Tottenham-Court Road, but in hopes of a blissful resurrection; and this blessing is sure to all who are quickened by the gracious in-dwelling of the Holy Spirit. As it is written,Rom.viii. “But if the Spirit of Him who raised up Jesus from the dead, dwell in you,Hethat raised up Christ from the dead, shall also quicken your mortal bodies, by His Spirit, that dwelleth in you.”—Grace and peace be with you.
I remain, yours, J. C.
For love like; this, ye saints ariseSuperior to all earthly ties;Proclaim the Saviour’s precious blood,And magnify a Tri-une God!
“Yet thou, O Lord, art in the midst of us.”
“Yet thou, O Lord, art in the midst of us.”
To —
I have often admired the gracious conduct of Divine Providence in bringing me acquainted with your family: I have found you faithful in gospel bonds, faithful in reproving, admonishing, instructing, and praying for me. You was well acquainted with the cause of my leaving Chapel-court Meeting, as I could not get it as my own. I prayed to have a place of my own, if it was an old barn; but, no doubt, this is another proof of my pride. I have seen the sorrows of real good men, who have been turned out of their situations, and reduced to abject poverty, merely to please some bashaw deacon, or conceited trustee; and as I did not like to wear a muzzle, I chose to get a humble place of my own. Your friendship in exerting yourself for my good, and the accommodation of the people, well succeeded, and our wishes were accomplished. A place was to let, near the obelisk, which would contain 800 people: but, alas! we had no seats, or pulpit. I opened it, just as it was, with a temporary stage, on which I stood. The place was crowded; I was enabled to preach in the afternoon on “He brought me to his banqueting house, and his banner over me was love:” and in the evening, “I beseech thee shew me thy glory.” I continued at Chapel-court some parts of the week, and Sundays, till the Obelisk Chapel was quite ready; when I gave up the formerentirely, and occupied the latter. Many a blessed season we experienced there, and the Lord confirmed the Word with signs following. With pleasure you saw this, and fondly hoped to have seen a regular church formed, upon the Baptist order; but, perhaps, I have been culpably negligent upon that subject. However, your desire was in a great measure fulfilled: the presence of the Lord filled the place, the Word ran, and Christ and free-grace was glorified. Many remember the spot with pleasure, and others have gone from thence to glory. I need not apologise for reminding you of your remarkable dream onEzra, vii. 27, 28, “Blessed be the Lord God of our fathers, which hath put such a thing into the king’s heart, to beautify the house of the Lord, which is at Jerusalem.” And I was strengthened, as the hand of the Lord was upon me. The Lord be with you, while I remain,
Yours, in Him, J. C.
He never said to Jacob’s seed,Seek ye my face in vain;No; he delights our souls to feed,That we with him may reign.
“Son of Man, shew the house to the house of Israel.”
“Son of Man, shew the house to the house of Israel.”
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After I had been with the present congregation for some time, I thought it expedient to endeavourto bring the church into some form, and gospel order, upon the Baptist plan; but this I found a very difficult task. The majority of hearers, were averse to the ordinances of believer’s baptism, not one of the managers did see into the nature and design of the ordinance; yet I was enabled to preach frequently on the subject, and many were soon after convinced it was their duty and privilege to submit to baptism, as well as attend the Lord’s Supper. Some, who saw more clearly into it, waited till they were baptized, before they sat down to the Supper, knowing this was the most scriptural plan: others, who had been baptized previous to their hearing with us, desired to unite with us, but did not choose to do that till the church was more regularly formed. And now, having a convenient place for that purpose, many came forward to be baptized; the day was appointed, and eighteen came, who I had good reason to believe were called by grace. I preached my sermon at Horselydown, from this question of our dear Lord—“The baptism of John,was it from heaven,or of men?” I found liberty and freedom in a scriptural statement of the nature and design of believers’ baptism. I had nothing new to advance, but what many men of God had observed on that subject, and endeavoured to back every argument with scripture proof. The evening arrived, and the candidates met; I conversed once more with them all, separately, in the vestry. A good man preached the sermon, and fully confirmed what I had previously advanced. At the close of the sermon, I gave a short address at thewater. After prayer and singing, I descended into the baptistry, for the first time, with trembling steps, yet dependent on the faithfulness of the Great Head of the Church, to his own promise—“Lo! I am with youalways.” I then led each into the water, myself, and spoke something suited to the case of every one, as we went into the water together. I considered it most scriptural to go downwiththe candidates, which had a very pleasing effect upon the spectators, gave great encouragement to the candidate, and diversified the solemn scene. This was the plan of the Rev. Mr. Burnham, which I always adopted. In two month’s time, about thirty-five more came forward; and for the first four or five succeeding years, I had the honour to baptise upwards of fifty persons. At one time I had forty-eight, which was very fatiguing to me. After I had left Horselydown, we went to baptise at Worship-street. This only occurred once, and there were near forty persons at that time. Soon after the Lord raised me up a place of my own, and we built an excellent baptistry there, in which many have been baptised, some of whom are now in glory, many are growing in grace, and continue amongst us, while others are gone to other places, that other ministers might fill up their cup of consolation. I have heard but of very few that have gone back into the world, andtheyare not out of the reach of mercy, unless any of them have sinned “the sin unto death.” But, notwithstanding so many were baptised, I had not power to form the church after the particular Baptistplan, but was obligated to admit those of God’s dear children, who could not yet see it right to be baptized. As these persons gave every evidence that they belonged to God, I saw no impropriety in sitting down with such at the Lord’s table. I am well aware that it was not so in the apostolic age;then, the church was of one heart, and one soul, but it is not so now, in external matters; and as the Saviour admits them to communion with himself, I see no reason why we should exclude them, because they do not see exactly with us into this ordinance: I wish all the church throughout the world did see it exactly as the scriptures have laid it down; but that they will not do, till the Holy Spirit is again poured out in the latter-day glory, of which happy time the apostolic age was a prelude. There was a period when I did not see the order of the church to be of that importance I now do. My whole attention, out of the pulpit, was to manage that business as well as I could, assisted by men of faith, prayer, and wisdom. We have since formed the church, the articles of which are printed in the first volume of the “Voice of Faith.” The Lord keeps us walking in his own appointed way, adorning the doctrine of God our Saviour in all things.
Yours, J. C.
Make me obsequious to thy will,While journeying hence to Zion’s hill;Within thine arms, O let me be,For ever folded near to thee.
“Arise and thresh, O daughter of Zion.”
“Arise and thresh, O daughter of Zion.”
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As through grace you have been an eye and ear witness to the Lord’s dealings with me, and to the testimony which he has borne to the word of his grace (however weak the instrument) in town, so you have heard of some success I have had in the country. Various have been my journies, and scarcely have I ever heard of one in vain. Soon alter the death of my dear girl, I was invited to take a journey to Sheerness. When I arrived, some who had heard me preach in town, and others who had beard of me, came to solicit me to preach in that place. The minister was requested the use of his pulpit, but he denied it at first, which threw a general damp upon them all. However, I was impressed that the Lord had intended me to preach there, and when I got alone, I begged of the Lord to shew me his mind, which he did in his Word, by this text, which I opened upon—“I will give thee the opening of the mouth unto them.” When my friends assembled around me again, each giving their various opinions, I told them I should surely preach to them. The next day I wrote a polite note to the minister myself, and in the evening he as politely came to invite me. The Lord opened my mouth, and the dew descended on the barn floor. This was an enlivening and a quickening time. Many, and especially the Baptists,were stirred up, and shortly built a small place for themselves, in which I shortly after preached. I believe a church is since formed in the place, and godly Baptist ministers supply it. The Lord also opened the meeting at Strood, and enabled me to proclaim the unsearchable riches of Christ to the joy of some good old-established Christians, who had long sat under the truth, and were blessed with that charity that rejoiceth not in error, but rejoiceth in the truth. Many remember those visits, and although I shall never see them more in this world, yet I trust that truth that has made us free will bring us home to the enjoyment of the God of truth. In the year 1811, I opened a Monday-evening lecture at Horselydown, and another at the Welsh meeting at Lambeth, where I continued some years, till Providence altered the circumstances of these places; also at Little Providence Chapel, in Holborn, where the Lord met many precious souls, and highly honoured me, to bring in some of his people: as it is written,Isaiahlxvi. “And they shall bring in your brethren for an offering unto the Lord, out of all nations, upon horses and in chariots, and in litters, and upon mules, and upon swift beasts, to my holy mountain, saith the Lord.”
Yours, J. C.
P.S. I was very partial to travelling from place to place, but the Lord has cured me of that roving fit, and I have scarcely a desire left me of ever leaving my own place: for, sometimes it is found true whatSolomon says—“As a bird that leaveth his nest, so is a man that wandereth from his place.”
May God the Spirit free impartFresh life and vigour to the heart;And with a living coal inflame,To speak the honours of his name.
“The Lord is my helper and my deliverer.”
“The Lord is my helper and my deliverer.”
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There are some few periods in our lives when we may be said to sit still and be at ease; but there are other times we could particularly mention, when trouble abounds—as Job expresses it, “Thou breakest me with breach upon breach;” or, as David says, “Deep calleth unto deep, but the Lord will command his loving kindness in the day-time.” This was my experience from the 1st of January, 1813, to the 12th of July. No sooner had the year commenced, but having occasion to pass through Blackfriars-road, I saw in the shop-window of a printer and bookseller, an infamous and daringly-printed paper, including the fac-simile of a letter said to have been written by me to an awful character; in which I had included a guinea, to assist him. This piece of effrontery hurt my mind, but I was enabled to bear it, and preached a sermon the same evening, on “They shall call his name Emanuel, God with us.” The above letters were bought by hundreds, friends and foes: I took no notice of it, and presently came out many editions, with great additions. Soon after this every corner of the streetsand every lamp-post had a placard posted, with these elegant words, in capital letters, “JOHN CHURCH, INCARNATE DEVIL,” and these were interlined with many awful scriptures, against uncleanness of every description;[86]but this failing of its intended plan, to rouse public indignation, another method was resorted to. Some pretendedly pious young men were employed to read these papers, with an audible voice, at the Obelisk, on Sunday mornings, as the Congregation were coming to chapel; this was going out into the highways, indeed, and gathering as they could, some good and some bad—the effect was, many disputes amongst them. The public-houses were filled; and, for several Lord’s-days a vast mob assembled around the door, but peaceably, and all was peace within. I continued my labours’ six times a week; yet not without much inward grief. Some warm but indiscreet friends were determined to apprehend the first that made any disturbance, and no one seemed very forward to do that, except one young man, who was observed to frequent the mob: he was taken to the watch-house by order of the managers of the chapel, who charged him with a breach of the peace, but when he was brought before a magistrate, who was no friend of mine, he complained of my conduct to his brother, twelve years before that period. I was of course sent for, and went without any warrant being issuedout against me. I made my appearance, and a very worthy magistrate bound it over for trial, at the Middlesex sessions, alledging it would give greater public satisfaction. All things were now peaceable till July 12. The time came on, and the trial took place, at which I was honourably acquitted. The chairman who tried the cause declared he never witnessed so malignant a prosecution before. We had peace once more in our borders, and prosperity in our palaces. I then explained the former case mentioned in this letter, concerning the infamous person to whom I had acted as a benefactor. The case was this: in the month of September, 1812, a person called on me. Mrs. C. who was blessed with a astonishing gift of discernment of character, came to my study, and said a person below wanted to see me—“but,” she added, “I don’t much admire his looks.” However, I came down, and she listened at the nearest window, anxious to know his business. He accosted me with “Sir, you don’t know me, but I have been unfortunately in prison a long time. I was formerly in the public line, and wish to go in it again. Many have helped me, and I hope you will take it into consideration also.” I told him if he would leave his address, I would certainly pay some attention to it, but could not stay then. In a few days time I went to the house he had directed me, and found, as far as I could see, every thing respectable; and an old gentleman assured me that the case was a very distressing one, and that the poor man was then in the spunging-house, put in thatday by his brewer. This had all the appearance of truth; I felt for his situation; and the next day wrote the letter which was afterwards handled against me. But I believe it was nothing else but envy on the part of my opponent, who had borne a name so many years for his alms-giving, as though nobody could give an alms but himself. Not all the world can persuade me that the opposition made to me was from any other motive. Although zeal for the moral law was the plea, yet,thatvery person always acted contrary to the law, in every such act of opposition. But to return, the above ungrateful wretch had no sooner received my donation, than he sent a woman, purporting to be his wife, to solicit more money. Mrs. C. gave her an answer, assuring her that I had contributed generously to his wants, and could do no more for him, or for any one else, yet:—but the woman, not contented with that answer, replied, in an insulting manner, “Well, if Mr. C. does not choose to do it, he shall repent it as long as he lives; for I’ll go to Mr. D— directly, and tell him what I know will please him, against Mr. C.” The Doctor not being returned to town, the woman waited till he did, and then visited him, well knowing the above gentleman would jump for joy, if he could find out any thing amiss in my conduct, so as to fix the name of Antinomian in reality. Report says, he visited this infamous character in prison, and gave him two guineas for the letter. Many others of the holy contenders for the moral law, paid him a visit, and gave him money likewise, so that he made hisboast he had but one guinea from me, but he got near forty guineas out of the Doctor and his people. The letter was soon engraved, at the Doctor’s expense, and thousands of them printed and sent into the world. And what harm did this do me? but send crowds to hear me preach, who filled the chapel so much, that we were obliged to look out for a much larger place. The infamy of this notorious character being so fully known, his palpable falsehoods respecting my visiting his infamous house, were discredited by any reasonable being; and as his testimony would not be taken in a court of justice, there was no reason why it should be taken in the courts of the Lord’s house. I relieved him from the purest motives of benevolence, as I have many hundreds beside, who are living witnesses of it. I acknowledge I have not been so discriminating in my acts of beneficence as I ought to have been: but I could never bear to send away empty from my door the petitioner for relief, whether good or bad, if I could relieve them, remembering, the advice and example of our Divine Lord,Actsxx. 35. And as to impositions, those who are kind to the poor must always expect it, both in the church and in the world. And if the mostknowingof the benevolent are so often duped, you cannot wonder at my meeting with such characters; for it is a well-known truth, that if there is a flat in the world, a sharper will find him out: and, supposing my holy enemies to have acted from the very best motives, it their searching out my supposed faults, in doing sohave they acted agreeable to the holy law of God, or to any of the precepts of the New Testament? I believe not. If it was criminal in my relieving a bad character with one guinea,[90]was it not more criminal in my persecutors to relieve him with forty guineas; or to put themselves to the vast expense of supplying whole columns of trash, pregnant with falsehoods, for the “Weekly Dispatch.” But you know this sort of conduct is pretended zeal for that very law that curses them for their hypocrisy.—Farewell.
From Christ my mercies flow,In pearly drops they fall;Lord give a thankful bosom toThe sweetest pearl of all.
“He hath scattered the proud in the imagination of their hearts.”
“He hath scattered the proud in the imagination of their hearts.”
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It would fill no small volume to relate the particulars of the bustle which took place in the above affair. The zeal, vigilance, activity and expense which so many put themselves to was really laughable. The above Doctor and his understrappers were all upon the alert, all the filth, lies, and rubbish that could be collected together, were brought him; these he put in order, fled to the printer with, and which were soon exposed for sale, no doubt for the benefit of the poor (to add to charity’s fame). This being calculated to disturb the peace, the printer was bound to keep the peace, by one of the magistrates,which put an end to the sale of this rubbish. But the Doctor had recourse to another expedient; he crossed the water to an awful enemy to all spiritual religion, and furnished him with plenty of the same rubbish for a Sunday Newspaper. I saw him enter the above shop myself, and I then told many persons we should have another budget of lies out next Sunday. Nor was I mistaken. This holy advocate for the suppression of vice, and keeping the Sabbath holy, now gave plenty of matter for the encouragement of vice, and the profanation of that day. Public-houses were again well stored,[91]to read about the infamous J. C.—Jews and Infidels, professed Christians, and profound Deists. There were “Parthians, Medes and Elamites, dwellers in Messopotamia, Egyptians and strangers,” all in a bustle. Some running one way, some another; one post ran to meet another, as if the city had been taken at both ends. Every one who had a little hope of interest picked up a stone, wrote a letter to his Holiness, or ran with some account of some bad action, some love letter I had written, some bad house I had visited—though as false as God was true. Yet this was credited, and swallowed down wholesale. Vast crowds assembled round the chapel on Sunday nights, so that the congregation had to pass through them as the Israelites through the Red Sea; but not a dog moved his tongue at them. Printing scurrillity was kept on weekly, till the public got tired of theold story over and over again. Nor were some of my well-wishers idle; some, in warmth, retaliated; others, more prudently, wrote mildly, and remonstrated in a scriptural manner with the Doctor, by word and writing. Some exercised their pens in satire and poetical effusions. Some of the copies of these I have still by me, and would present them to you, but they would take up too much room. And what good did all this do? None, but hurt the rising generation, and exposed the cause of God to ridicule. On the part of those adversaries who are zealous for the moral law, as their rule of life, surely they acted contrary to every law, to the ten commandments, the Judaical law of Moses, the gospel in every doctrine, and in every precept; the laws of wisdom, love, and kindness, and the excellent laws of our country. But I forgive them; and the only apology I can make for them is, that they did it with a good intent, and out of love to my soul;this was equally as loving to me, as the Hibernian woman to her husband, who being condemned to be hung clung round her dearest dear, reminded him how much she loved him, and said, as a proof of it, she came that morning to hang him herself, as she might as well have the money for it as any body else.—This was love indeed.—Farewell.
Yours, J. C.
When men of spite against me join,They are the sword, the hand is thine.
P.S. Many wondered that I did not punish theweekly scribblers, but no; I am forbid ICorinth, vi. 1. And if I had a mind for it, they kept out of the way, either by the rules of the Fleet or the Bench—and what is the use of pursuing a flea? as David said to Saul—1Sam.xxiv. 14.
“We know that all things work together for good, to those that love God.”
“We know that all things work together for good, to those that love God.”
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As the congregation was so much increased, from the late rumours, and conclusion of the trial, the place where we had long worshipped, was deemed unsafe to contain so large a body of people; it was therefore proposed to build a more convenient place, near the old spot: but the chief part of the neighbourhood being City ground, we could not obtain any other place than the vacant spot on which the chapel now stands: this was taken of the City, and on Monday the 13th of July, the day twelvemonth the trial was terminated in my favour, I laid the foundation-stone of the new chapel, in presence of many spectators. When I had concluded the service, we assembled the same evening at the old chapel, where I preached onGen.xxviii. “And this stone which I have set shall be God’s house.” That evening, small as the congregation was, compared with others, we collected fifty pounds. The building was begun, and in ten weeks it was finished; butduring that time my faith was continually upon the watch tower. And the hand of God was most evidently in the business; timber was scarcely ever known to be at such a price, yet the Lord sent me money with which to pay the men their wages, and to find many materials beside—this was at the rate of twenty-five pounds a week. Where the money came from I know not, but, to my surprise, it came. The Lord called me to his throne, and in gracious answers the money was sent. On the first Sunday in October, 1813, I took my leave of the old place, where I spent many happy hours; and if David remembered Hermon, and the little hill Mizar, the old Obelisk chapel will be dear to many a soul while life and being last. I preached in the morning on the language of Moses to Jethro—“We are journeying to the place of which the Lord said, I will give it thee, come thou with us, we will surely do thee good.” In the afternoon I endeavoured to remind my hearers of that suitable promise in every case of the Lord’s people—“And behold I am with thee, and will keep thee in all places whither thou goest; and I will not leave thee until I have done all the good which I promised unto thee.” In the evening I again addressed the congregation, from the language of Moses—“Let thy presence go with us.” After the evening sermon, we had the ordinance of the Lord’s Supper. The evening was solemn, and we concluded with thanksgiving for the many happy hours we had spent in the place, and intreated the Lord to go with us the next day, and abide with us all our days. Weleft the old spot with some reluctance, and the next morning I opened the new meeting. I preached fromExodusxxv. 8—“And let them make me a sanctuary, that I may dwell among them:” this sermon is now in print. And in the evening to a very crowded congregation, fromJohnxvii—“And I have declared thy name, and will declare it, that the love wherewith thou hast loved me, may be in them, and thou in them.” The bustle of the day had impaired my mind, but I was helped through it, and the collection amounted to upwards of fifty pounds for that day, which I considered to be very great. Some very excellent singers volunteered their kind services, and at the close of the service favoured us with some very beautiful anthems from Handel. The place was always well attended, but the building of the chapel involved me in several heavy debts, many of which I paid out of the produce of the chapel, and others I borrowed money to pay them with, so that I paid all the tradesmen comfortably to my own mind; but the borrowed money laid as a dead weight on my spirits, and created me many anxieties. This gave fresh exercise to prayer and faith, and an opportunity of watching the hand of God. Soon after the building was completed, my subscriptions stopped, and of course all the heavy debt laid on me. As I was determined no one should be hurt by me, I became responsible for every thing; and having collected by subscription, about seven hundred pounds, I found I was nearly ten hundred pounds in debt—three hundred I paid in about eighteen months, and the restI paid interest for the use of, till the whole was cleared off. And as I had the money given me, I built the place and paid for it, of course it is my own property; but I have since seen it necessary to choose trustees, by way of executors to my will, that the place should be always appropriated to the preaching of the gospel: this was to secure it from any who should claim it, and in future time convert it into any thing else: as I had known some preachers who had chapels of their own, after they had made a fortune in them, sell them to brokers, and other persons, laying an injunction on them never to let them again have the gospel preached in them. This is most base, and cruel, beyond all expression; and what an awful state must their consciences be in, to act in so base a manner. The Lord was with me, in this place also, till another calamity befel me: but this I know, every occurrence is divinely appointed, by infinite wisdom, and will terminate in the glory of God, and the prosperity of the soul—For he worketh all things after the counsel of his own will.
Yours truly, J. C.
“So I spake unto the people in the morning, and at even my wife died.”—Ezek.xxiv. 18.
“So I spake unto the people in the morning, and at even my wife died.”—Ezek.xxiv. 18.
To —
Death is solemn at all times, to thinking minds; and though sin has made him an enemy to our natures, grace has made him a friend to our souls:but he has no acquaintances, nor has he respect for any; he comes in without apologies, and cuts down all alike, the man of years, the innocent babe, the crowned head, the mitred prelate, the humble scavenger, and the poorest beggar: nor does he spare the dearest relative, or the most affectionate friend—yet, it is the consolation of the Lord’s people, that though all must bow to his stroke, they are dear to the Saviour, they are precious to him; hence he calls them the precious sons of Zion, and since thou hast been precious in my sight, I have loved thee. God has declared their blood, that it their lives, is precious in his sight.—Psalmlxxii. And in another Psalm (cxvi.) declares their very death is precious. God has declared, he has no pleasure in thedeathof the wicked, no more than he has in theirpersonsor theirlives; yet grace has made a difference between those who love God, and those who do not; and as the Lord Jesus Christ has been to precious to them, in a time state, as an evidence they are precious to him, he has graciously designed death to be only their removal from sin and sorrow, to heaven, happiness, and God. Death is therefore a gift, freely bestowed on the Lord’s people, and in general a welcome friend, whose mission is only to usher the elect, redeemed, regenerated soul into glory; and though many such have been all their life-time in bondage, through the fear of death, yet, that same Almighty power that made them willing to be saved in God’s own way, makes them willing to leave all behind, and to enter into a world of spirits, to befor ever with the Lord; and not only willing, but sometimes longing, to be gone to that rest the Lord has provided for his covenant people. The faith that God has given them is sometimes indulged with sweet views of their inheritance, and they cast many a wishful eye to that land of delights.
Thusfaithdoth take a pleasing view,Hopewaits,lovesits and sings;Desire, she flutters to be gone,Butpatienceclips her wings.
What a chequered scene is the present state of God’s dear people, of adversity and prosperity, risings and fallings, darkness and light, losses and gains, crosses and mercies, bondage and liberty, sorrow and joy, life and death.
No sooner had the good hand of God provided us a chapel, and every thing seemed to prosper, but a sad calamity befel me, the worst I ever had, and the most distressing to my feelings—the death of a kind, loving, affectionate, and tender wife. In the sixth Letter of this little work I have given an account of our acquaintance and marriage; it was her mercy she had been taught of God before this period. Like most others, while young, she was cheerful and loved the world, and the things of it, and in the enmity of heart she despised the things of God, even to persecution; but she was the child, doubtless, of many prayers, compelled by an afflicted mother to read the Scriptures to her, which was no small burthen to her more gay and cheerful mind; she came to a veryimportant portion of God’s Word, (Jer.iii.) a thought struck her that she would read that chapter again, when she was alone. She seized the opportunity, and when she came to the 4th verse, the passage was applied with peculiar power to her soul—“Wilt thou not, from this time, cry unto me, My Father, thou art the guide of my youth.” Conviction of her lost state came on, and she soon went to work at the law, attended legal preaching, and strove, in vain, to recommend herself to God, by the work of her hands, her watchings, vows, and resolutions, till the Lord led her under the ministry of more evangelical men, especially the ministry of our mutual favorite preacher, Mr. L. then supplying at Tottenham and Tabernacle: the Lord, having begun his good work, brought her soul into the sweet liberty of the gospel, and in the love and fear of God, she walked many years, living upon his grace, and depending upon his providence. Her faith and hope, though often tried and assaulted, were genuine, and her love to truth was firm; she was a woman of the finest feeling, and quick discernment of characters, many of whom she frequently cautioned me against, and many a sorrow I should have escaped, had I (as most men should) have listened to a wife. We had experienced many changes, and lived very comfortably together about eight years, when, alas! a sore trouble befel her, above which she never soared. A short time after her delivery of her fourth child, she being very weak and low, some incautious person suddenly surprized her with some alarming intelligence, which wasfound the next day to be false: this chilled her blood; medical aid was afforded, and she gained a little strength, but she felt the direful effects of it till her death, which was not till seven years afterwards. During this period she had but one child more, who grew up to his twelfth year, and then died in the Lord, a little account of which has since, been published in his funeral sermon, entitled “The Glory of Grace.” Increasing weakness, attended with fits, and her mode of living, reduced her system; she was confined to her bed but a short time, the last fortnight she was very composed; sometimes feared the hour of her departure, but the nearer she drew to death the less she feared. I took an affectionate leave of her the night previous to her death: her speech was gone twelve hours before her departure; I, however, endeavored to preach that morning on, “They that trust in the Lord shall be as the mount Zion, which cannot be moved.” This was expressive of herstate,experience, andsecurity. As that Lord’s-day closed, so she closed her eyes in death, sleeping in Jesus. I had many sweet portions of scripture, suited, indeed, to her case, brought with power to my soul; and having known her experience with the testimony of God’s truth, I am happy in the full persuasion of her eternal felicity. I preached on the following subject the Sunday after—“Ought not this woman, being a daughter of Abraham, whom satan has bound these eighteen years, to be loosed on the Sabbath-day?” Her warfare is accomplished. “What shall separate us from the loveof Christ; shall things present?” I had many times advanced the doctrine of the final perseverance of believers; but it was truly precious then. As Mr. Huntington sings—
“The world may oppose, and fiends may engage,And dangers and threat’nings dismay;But still they pursue, in defiance of rage,For the righteous shall hold on his way.”
“The world may oppose, and fiends may engage,And dangers and threat’nings dismay;But still they pursue, in defiance of rage,For the righteous shall hold on his way.”
Farewell.—Yours, truly, J. C.