Alscrip's Room.
Chignonalone.
Chignon.Que diable veut dire tout ça——vat devil, all dis mean?—Monsieur Alscrip enragé——Mademoiselle Alscrip fly about like de dancing fury at de Opera——My littel musicienne, shut up, and in de absence of madame, I keep de key of de littel bastille——By gad, I vou'd rader have de custody of my pretty prisoniere than the whole college of cardinals——but vat have we here?
EnterSir ClementandClifford.
Sir C.[Speaking to aServant.]Mr. Alscrip not at home, no matter we'll wait his return——The French valet de chambre[ToClifford.]—It may be of use to make acquaintance with him—Monsieur, how do you like this country?
Chignon.Ver good contrée, sire, by and bye—when you grow a little more poor.
Sir C.Is that a Parisian rule for improvement?
Chignon.Yes, sir, and we help you to follow our example—In good times you hang, and you drown—In bad time you will be like us.—Alway poor—alway gay—forget your politics—laugh at yourgrievances—take your snuff, vive la dissipation,—ver good country.
Sir C.Thanks for your kind advice, monsieur, you Frenchmen are so obliging, and so communicative to strangers——I hear there is a young lady come into this family—we don't exactly know in what capacity—could not you contrive that she should pass through this room—or—
Chignon.[Aside.]By gar here be one more old rake after de littel musicienne.
Sir C.Only for curiosity,—we never saw her, and have particular reasons—
[Gives Money.
Chignon.Ma foi, your reasons be ver expressive—[Aside.]—but vat devil shall I do—open the cage of my little Rosignol—my pretty nightingale—no. Chignon—no—[Looking out.]ah, hah; La Tiffany——Now for de politique——be-gar I undertake your business—and make you de dupe of de performance.
[Exit with a sign toSir Clement.
Sir C.So—Clifford—There goes as disinterested a fellow now as any in Europe. But hark you—Can you yet guess the purpose for which I brought you here?
Cliff.I profess, sir, I am in the dark. If it concerns Lord Gayville's secret.
Sir C.Namely, that this dulcinea has started up in the shape of Miss Alscrip's musical companion—Her name is Alton.[Leering.]I tell it you, because I am sure you are not acquainted with it.
Cliff.Sir, you will not know me.—
Sir C.Tut, tut, don't do me such injustice——Come, all delicacy being over, by my having made the discovery, will you talk to this girl?
Cliff.For what end, sir?
Sir C.If you state yourself as Lord Gayville's friend, she will converse with you more readily, than she would with me—Try her—find out what she isreally at. If she has no hold upon him but her person, I shall be easy.
Cliff.Sir, let my compliance convince you how much I wish to oblige you. If I can get a sight of this wonder, I promise to give you my faithful opinion of my friend's danger.
EnterChignon, and makes a sign toSir Clement, that the Person he inquired after is coming.
Sir C.Leave her with this gentleman——Come, monsieur, you shall show me the new room.
[Exit.
Chignon.[Aside.]Vid dis gentleman—Vid all my heart—La Tiffany vill answer his purpose, and mine too.
[Exit.
[Cliffordis looking at the Furniture of the Room.
EnterTiffany.
Tiff.What does the Frenchman mean by gentlemen wanting me, and his gibberish of making soft eyes——I hope I know the exercise of my eyes without his instruction—hah! I vow, a clever looking man.
Cliff.'Faith, a pretty attracting countenance—but for that apprehensive and timid look—that awe impressing modesty, my friend so forcibly described.[Tiffanyadjusts herself, and pulls up.]—[Aside.]Her silence marks diffidence; deuce take me if I know how to begin, for fear of offending her reserve.
Tiff.[Aside.]I have been told pertness became me—I'll try, I'm resolved.[To him.]I hear, sir, you had something to say to a young person in this house—that—that—[Looking down at the same time archly.]I could not but take the description to myself—I am ready to hear any thing a gentleman has to say.
Cliff.[Aside.]Thank my stars, my scruples are relieved!
Tiff.Am I mistaken, sir? Pray, whom was you inquiring after?
Cliff.Oh! certainly you, my pretty stranger. A friend of mine has been robbed of his heart, and I see the felony in your looks. Will you confess, or must I arrest you?
Tiff.Innocent, sir, in fact, but not quite so in inclination—I hope your own is safe?
Cliff.And were it not, my smart unconscionable, would you run away with that also?
Tiff.Oh, yes, and a hundred more; and melt them all down together, as the Jews do stolen goods, to prevent their being reclaimed.
Cliff.[Aside.]Astonishing! Have I hit upon the moment when her fancy outruns her art! But are you really the young lady, that's admitted into this family, as companion to Miss Alscrip?
Tiff.Sir, if you mean the young lady, who, however undeservingly, is flatteringly called the flower of this family—who sometimes extracts notice from these windows; and to be sure has been followed home by gentlemen against her inclinations—sir, you are not mistaken.
Cliff.[Aside.]Sure it has been Gayville's madness or amusement then to describe her by contraries.
Tiff.I hope, sir, you are not offended? I would not be impertinent, though I am not so tasteless as to be shy.
Cliff.Offended, my dear? I am quite charmed, I assure you. And so without further shyness on either part, let us be free upon the subject I had to talk over with you. You surely are not looking to lasting connexions?
Tiff.[With airs.]Sir, I don't understand you—I am not what you suppose, I assure you—Connexions indeed—I should never have thought of that—my character—my behaviour; connexions, I don't know what the word signifies.
Sir C.[Without.]Clifford—are you ready?
Cliff.I am at your orders, sir.
Tiff.[Aside.]Deuce take this interruption!
Sir Clement.[Without.]I shall not wait for Mr. Alscrip any longer.
Tiff.[Aside.]Lud, lud, he, gives me no time to come round again.[Runs up to him confusedly.]It's very true, sir, I would not do such a thing for the world, but you are a man of honour, and I am sure would not give bad advice to a poor girl who is but a novice—and so, sir,[HearsSir Clemententering.]put your proposal in writing, and you may depend on having an answer.
[Runs out.
EnterSir Clement.
Sir C.Well, Clifford, what do you think of her?
Cliff.Make yourself perfectly easy, sir: This girl, when known, can make no impression on Lord Gayville's mind; and I doubt not but a silk-gown and a lottery-ticket, had they been offered as an ultimatum, would have purchased her person.
Sir C.[With a dry sneer.]Don't you sometimes Clifford, form erroneous opinions of people's pretensions? Interest and foolish passion inspire strange notions—as one or the other prevails, we are brought to look so low, or so high—
Cliff.[With emotion.]That we are compelled to call reason and honour to our aid——
Sir C.And then——
Cliff.We lose the intemperance of our inclinations in the sense of what is right.
Sir C.[Aside.]Sententious impostor!—[To him.]But to the point.
Cliff.Sir, I would please you if I could—I am thinking of a scheme to restore Lord Gayville to his senses, without violence or injury to any one of the parties.
Sir C.Let me hear it.
Cliff.Why, the wench being cut short of marketing by word of mouth, desired me to write proposals.I am inclined to do so. We will show the answer to Lord Gayville, and, depend upon it, there will be character enough displayed to cure him of the sentimental part of his attachment.
Sir. C.I like your idea—Sit down, and put it into execution immediately——[Cliffordwrites.]——[To himself.]He is quick at invention—has a pretty turn at profession—A proud and peremptory show of honour would overpower prejudices. Thank Heaven, my opinions of knavery are convictions!
Cliff.[Writing.]I am sorry to detain you, sir.
Sir C.[Looking at the Furniture.]Oh! I am amusing myself better than you think—Indulging an edifying contemplation among the tombs of departed estates—[Looking round the Furniture, viz. Closets, that show old Writings, tied up; Shelves with Boxes, labelled Mortgages, Lease and Release, &c.]What mouldered skins, that will never see day-light again, and that, with a good herald, would vie with Westminster Abbey in holiday entertainment. For instance, now, what have we here?—Hah! The last remains of Fatland Priory—Once of great monastic importance: A proverb of pride, sloth, and hypocrisy. After the Reformation, the seat of old English hospitality and benevolence—In the present century, altered, adorned, pulled down, and the materials sold by auction.
Cliff.Edifying, indeed, sir; your comments are not lost.
Sir C.Here lie, undisturbed, in dust, the relics of Court Baron Castle, granted, at the Conquest, to the family of Loftimount. The last of this ancient race, having won twenty-seven king's plates, and represented the county in six parliaments, after many struggles, died of the pistol fever. A disconsolate annuitant inscribed this box to his memory.—Well, Clifford, have you done?
Cliff.Yes, sir.
[Reads, as if to himself.
You have captivated a young man of rank and fortune, but you are discovered, and his ruin and yours would be the consequence of pursuing any designs, that could impede his proposed marriage with Miss Alscrip.—Throw yourself upon the generosity of his family, and your fortune's made.—Send your answer (and let it be immediate) to me, at Sir Clement Flint's house.
Yours, &c. &c.
Henry Clifford.
[Cliffordfolds the Letter.
Sir C.Our French friend is the man to deliver it, and to bring the answer. I am going home; you'll overtake me.
[Exit.
EnterChignon.
Cliff.[Sealing the Letter.]You come apropos, monsieur.[Gives the Letter with an Air of Mystery.]Have the goodness to put this letter into Miss Alton's own hands.
Chignon.[To himself.]Mademoiselle Alton! Peste! My trick has not passed.
Cliff.To Miss Alton by herself—I am in all the secret.
Chignon.[To himself.]Devil take Tiffany, for making you so wise.
Cliff.And you serve your lady, when you serve me with Miss Alton—Monsieur, an answer as quick as possible—You will find me at Sir Clement Flint's—it is only in the next street—and—you understand me—[Shaking his Purse.]—Alerte, monsieur.
[Exit.
Chignon.Understand you!—Oui da! you talk de language universal.[Imitating his shaking the Purse.]J'entre vois, I begin to see something—By gad, I vill give de letter, ami try de inclination of Mademoiselle la Musicienne—if dis be de duette she vill play, it take her out of the vay of Alscrip, of Gayville, and of myself also—Voila le malheur—there—de misfortune—ehbien—when love and interest come across—alway prefer de interest for to-day, and take de chance of de love to-morrow—dat is de humour of France.
[Exit.
Sir Clement Flint's House.
EnterLord GayvilleandSir Clement.
Lord G.I am resolved to see Miss Alscrip no more.
Sir C.And I hope you are prepared with arguments to justify the cause of this breach, to me, and to the world.
Lord G.For my reconciliation with you, I hope your former partiality will return to my aid; and as for the world, I despise it. The multitude look at happiness through the false glare of wealth and pomp: I have discovered it, though yet at a distance, through the only true medium, that of mutual affection.
Sir C.No common place book, formed from a whole library of plays and novels, could furnish a better sentence. Your folly would shame a school-boy—even of the last age—In the present, he learns the world with his grammar, and gets a just notion of the worthlessness of the other sex, before he is of an age to be duped by their attractions.
Lord G.Sir, your prejudices——
Sir C.My prejudices?—will you appeal to Clifford—here he comes—your friend—your other self.
EnterClifford.
Lord G.And will Clifford condemn the choice of the heart?
Cliff.Never, my lord, when justly placed—In the case I perceive you are arguing, I am ready to blush for you—nay, don't look grave—I am acquainted with your enchantress.
Lord G.You acquainted with her?
Cliff.Yes; and, if I don't deceive myself, shall make her break her own spell. I am in correspondence with her.
Lord G.You in correspondence with Miss Alton!—when? where? What am I to think of this?
Cliff.My dear lord, that she is the most arrant coquette, the most accomplished jilt, the most ready trafficker of her charms——
Lord G.Phrensy and profanation!
Sir C.Come, Gayville, I'll be plain with you; you have sillily let the girl raise her price upon you—but, if nothing else will satisfy you, e'en pay it, and have done with her.
Lord G.Sir, her price is an unadulterated heart: I am afraid we cannot pay it betwixt us.
EnterChignon; he delivers a Letter toClifford, apart.
Chignon.Alerte, monsieur, I repete your word—Mademoiselle Alton be all your own.
Sir C.Come, Clifford, the contents: his lordship braves the trial.
Lord G.What is this mighty scheme! and what is that paper to discover?
Cliff.[Breaking open the Letter.]Your lordship shall be informed word for word.[Upon first sightof the Contents he shows the utmost emotion.]Amazement! do I dream! can it be? who wrote this letter?
Sir C.Oh! speak out, monsieur, we are all friends.
Chignon.De true Mademoiselle Alton, whom you charge me to give your letter—she open it—she turn pale—den red—den confuse—den kiss your name—den write, and bid me fly.
Lord G.Confusion on confusion, what does all this mean? explain.
Cliff.You must pardon me, I am disconcerted—confounded—thunderstruck —This letter is indeed of a different nature, from that I expected—I am more interested in Miss Alton's fate than your lordship—my perplexity is not to be endured; friend, come with me instantly.
[ExeuntCliffordandChignon.
Lord G.Mystery and torture! what am I to collect from this? He interested in the fate of Miss Alton? he her former acquaintance?
Sir C.Why not—and her dupe also?
Enter aServant.
Serv.Is Mr. Clifford gone, sir?
Lord G.[Impatiently.]Who wants him?
Serv.A chairman with a letter, he will not deliver to a servant.
Sir C.Call the fellow in.[ExitServant.]Who knows but he may help us in our difficulties?
Chairmanbrought in, with a Letter in his Hand.
Lord G.[Still impatiently.]Whom did you bring that letter from?
Chairman.Please your honour, I don't know; passing through the square, a sash flew up, and down came this letter and half a crown upon my head. It could not have fallen better, there's not a fellow in town more handy than I am, nor, though I say itmore cute at private business—So I resolved to deliver it safely—Is your honour's name Clifford?
Lord G.No, indeed, friend, I am not so happy a man.
Sir C.[Aside.]That letter must not be lost though. Here, my friend—I'll take charge of your letter.[Takes the Letter.]Something for your pains.
Chairman.God bless your honour, and if you want to send an answer, my number is forty-seven in Bond Street—your honour, I am known by the name of secret Tom.
[Exit.
Lord G.What is the use of this deceit? strong as my suspicion is, a seal must be sacred.
Sir C.Our circumstances make an exception to your rule: when there is treason in the state, wax gives way.[Takes the Letter, opens and reads it.]'Faith, this is beyond my expectation—though the mystery is unfathomable, the aptness of it to my purpose is admirable—Gayville—I wish you joy.
Lord G.Of what?
Sir C.Of conviction! if this is not plain! only hear.[Reads.]Since my confused lines of a few minutes past, my perplexities redouble upon my spirits—I am in momentary apprehension of farther insult from the Alscrip family; I am still more anxious to avoid Lord Gayville,[Pauses and looks atLord Gayville.]do not suspect my sincerity—I have not a thought of him that ought to disturb you.—Here she is, Gayville, look at her, through the true medium of mutual affection—I have not a thought of him that might to disturb you—Fly to me, secure me, my dearest Henry.
Lord G.Dearest Henry!
Sir C.[Reads on.]Dearest Henry—In this call, the danger of your Harriet unites with the impatience of her affection.
Lord G.Hell, and fury! this must be some trick, some forgery.[Snatches the Letter.]—No, by all that'sperfidious, it is that exquisite hand, that baffles imitation.
Sir C.All, regular, strict, undeviating modern morals—common property is the first principle of friendship; your horse, your house, your purse, your mistress—nay, your wife, would be a better example still of the doctrine of this generous age. Bless fortune, Gayville, that has brought the fidelity of your friend and your girl to the test at the same time.
Lord G.Sir, I am not in a humour for any spleen but my own. What can this mean? It must have been a secret attachment for years—but then the avowal of a correspondence, and the confusion at receiving it—his coldness in traducing her; the passionate interest he expressed in her fate; the conviction of his second letter—It is all delirium. I'll search the matter to the bottom, though I go to Clifford's heart for it.
[Exit in great anger.
Sir C.I'll after the precious fellow too—He is a rogue above my hopes, and the intricacy of his snares excite my curiosity.
[Exit.
Lady Emily's Apartment.
Lady Emilydiscovered, reading.
Lady E.It will not do. My eyes may run over a thousand subjects, but my thoughts centre in one. Ah! that sigh! that sigh from the fair sufferer this morning——I have found it echo in my own heart ever since.
EnterServant.
Serv.Madam, Mr. Blandish.
Lady E.Pooh! did you say I was at home?
Serv.Your ladyship gave no orders to the contrary.
Lady E.Show him in.[ExitServant.]I must take up my air of levity again—It is the only humour for a fellow who I sometimes allow to entertain me, but who can never get my esteem. I have more calls upon my affectation this unlucky day, than my real disposition would execute in a long life.
EnterBlandish.
Lady E.Blandish, I am horridly peevish; have you any thing new to divert me?
Blandish.If you ask me for news, the latest is, that Clifford has been detected in a clandestine intercourse with the object of Lord Gayville's secret passion; that he has betrayed the confidence of his friend and patron, and actually carried her off.[Aside.]Which, Gayville knows by this time, with all its aggravations, or Prompt has not been as active as he used to be.
Lady E.[With Emotion.]Blandish, this is a poor project. Clifford treacherous to his friend? You might as soon make me believe Gayville dispassionate, my uncle charitable, or you ingenuous.
Blandish.His conduct does not rest upon opinion, but proof; and when you know it, you must think of him with aversion.
Lady E.Must I? Then don't let me hear a word more—I have aversions enough already—
[Peevishly.
Blandish.It is impossible you can apply that word to one whose only offence is to adore you.
[Kisses her Hand.
EnterClifford.
Cliff.[Aside, surprised.]Blandish so favoured?
Lady E.[Aside.]Perverse accident: what mistakes now will he make!
Blandish.[Aside.]The enemy has surprised me—but the only remedy in such emergences, is to show a good countenance.
Cliff.I fear I have been guilty of an unpardonable intrusion.
Blandish.Mr. Clifford never can intrude; but though you had not come so apropos yourself—Lady Emily will bear testimony, I have not spared my pains to remove any prejudices she might have entertained.
Lady E.Had you not better repeat in your own words, Mr. Blandish, all the obliging things you have said of this gentleman?
Cliff.It is not necessary, madam—if without robbing you of moments that I perceive are precious—
Lady E.Sir?
Cliff.I might obtain a short audience—
[Looking atBlandish.
Blandish.[Aside.]He's devilish impudent—but he cannot soon get over facts, and I'll take care the conference shall not be long.[ToLady Emily.]—Lady Emily; hear Mr. Clifford, and judge if I have misrepresented him—[ToClifford.]When you want a friend, you know where to find him.
[Exit.
Lady E.This is an interview, Mr. Clifford, that I desire not to be understood to have authorized. It is not to me, you are accountable for your actions—I have no personal interest in them.
Cliff.I know it well.
Lady E.[Peevishly.]Do not run away with the notion neither, that I am therefore interested in any other person's—You have among you vexed and disconcerted me, but there is not a grain of partiality in all my embarrassment—if you have any eyes, you may see there is not.
Cliff.Happy Blandish! your triumph is evident.
Lady E.Blandish, the odious creature—He is my abhorrence—You are hardly worse yourself in my bad opinion, though you have done so much more to deserve it.
Cliff.How cruel are the circumstances that compel me to leave you under these impressions!—nay—more—at such a time to urge a request, that during your most favourable thoughts of me would have appeared strange if not presumptuous.—This is the key of my apartment. It contains a secret that the exigency of the hour obliged me, against inclination or propriety, to lodge there. Should Sir Clement return before me, I implore you to prevent his discovery, and give to what you find within, your confidence and protection. Lord Gayville—but I shall go too far—the most anxious event of my life presses on me. I conjure you to comply, by all the compassion and tenderness nature has treasured in your heart—not for me—but for occasions worthy their display. Pray take it.
[Gives the Key, which she receives with some reluctance and exit.
Lady E.Heigho!—It's well, he's gone without insisting on my answer: I was in a sad flutter of indecision. What mysterious means he takes to engage me in a confidence which I could not directly accept!—I am to find a letter, I suppose—the story of his heart—Its errors and defence—My brother's name, also—to furnish me with a new interest in the secret, and one I might avow—One may dislike this art, but must be sensible of his delicacy——Ah, when these two qualities unite in a man, I am afraid he is an overmatch for the wisest of us—Hark!—sure that is the sound of my uncle's coach—[Looks out of the Window.]'Tis he—and now for the secret—Curiosity! innate irresistible principle in womankind, be my excuse, before I dare question my mind upon other motives.
[Exit.
Another Apartment.
EnterLady Emily.
Lady E.Oh, lud! I could hardly tremble more at opening this man's apartment, were there a possibility of finding him within side. How do people find courage to do a wrong thing, when an innocent discovery cannot be prosecuted without such timidity?
[Approaches the Door timidly, and unlocks it.
EnterMiss Alton.
Amazement! Miss Alton! what is all this?
Miss Alton.Madam, I was brought here, for an hour's concealment; who I really am, I would not, if possible to avoid it, divulge in this house. When you saw me last, you honoured me with a favourable opinion—My story, not explained at full, might subject me to doubts, that would shake your candour.
Lady E.What shall I do?—She is pale, and ready to faint—I cannot let her be exposed in such a situation.—Retire—you may rely upon me for present security—You know best your pretensions to my future opinion.—[HearingSir Clement.]—Begone, or you are discovered.
[Shuts her in, and locksClifford's Door.
EnterSir Clement.
Sir C.Oh, the triumph of honour! Oh, the sincerity of friendship! How my opinions are ratified—how my system is proved!
Lady E.Oh, spirits, spirits, forsake me not!—Oh, for a moment's dissimulation!
Sir C.There are some, now, who would feed moroseness and misanthropy with such events: to me they give delight, as convictions and warnings to mankind.
Lady E.Of how superior a quality, my good uncle, must be the benevolence you possess! it rises with the progress of mischief; and is gratified (upon principles of general good) by finding confidence abused, and esteem misplaced. Am I not right in attributing your joy at present to that sort of refinement?
Sir C.Hah! and to what sensations, my good niece, shall be attributed the present state of your spirits? To the disgust you took to Clifford almost at first sight. It will not be with indifference, but pleasure, you will hear of his turning out the veriest rascal, the most complete impostor, the most abandoned—but hold, hold!—I must not wrong him by superlatives—he is matched too.
Lady E.Really!—I congratulate you upon such a check of charity.
Sir C.And I wish you joy, my pretty pert one, upon the credit your sex has acquired, in producing this other chef-d'œuvre—such a composition of the highest vices and the lowest—But your goodnature will, I dare say, easily find palliatives for both parties.
Lady E.Come, sir; no more of your sarcasms. I can treat wrong actions with levity, and yet consider them with detestation. Prudes and pretenders condemn with austerity. To the collection of suspicions you are master of, let me add one—In a young lady, of the delicacy and age you have described, always suspect the virtue that does not wear a smile.
Sir C.And the sincerity that wears one awkwardly.
EnterPrompt, hastily.
Prompt.Joy to your honour; I see you have caught her.
Sir C.Her!—whom?
Prompt.[Lady Emilyturning.]I ask your ladyship's pardon—Having only the glimpse of a petticoat, and knowing the object of my chase was in this house, I confess I mistook you.
Sir C.In this house?
Prompt.As sure as we are—She came in through the garden, under Mr. Clifford's arm—up the other stairs, I suppose.—If my lady had been hereabouts, she must have seen her.
Lady E.[In confusion.]Yes; but, unluckily, I was quite out of the way.
Sir C.Such audaciousness passes credibility.—Emily, what do you think of him?
Lady E.That he is a monster.—[Aside.]How my dilemmas multiply!
Sir C.What, to my house! to his apartment here! I wonder he did not ask for protection in yours.—What should you have said?
Lady E.I don't know; but, had I been so imposed upon as to receive her, I should scorn to betray even the criminal I had engaged to protect.
Sir C.[Tries at the Door, and finds it locked.]Emily, my dear, do ring the bell, to know if the housekeeper has a second key to this lock.
Lady E.What shall I do?
Prompt.She is certainly there, sir, and cannot escape. Where can she better remain, till you can assemble all parties, confront them, face to face, and bring every thing that has passed to a full explanation?
Sir C.With all my heart; send and collect every body concerned as fast as possible.—How I long forso complicated an exhibition of the purity of the human heart; Come with me, Emily, and help to digest my plan,—Friends and lovers, what a scene shall we show you!
[TakesLady Emilyunder the Arm.—Exeunt.
An Apartment.
EnterCliffordandMr. Rightly.
Cliff.Your knowledge in the profession, Mr. Rightly, is as unquestionable as your integrity; but there is something so surprising in the recovery of the Charlton estate.—If you knew, too, how the value of the acquisition is enhanced, by the opportune moment in which it presents itself—I am in too much emotion to thank you as I ought.
Rightly.Sir, I want neither compliment, nor acknowledgment, for revealing what I should be a party to dishonesty to conceal.
Cliff.You have a right to all my thoughts: but I have an appointment to obey, that admits no time for explanation; favour me for a moment with your pencil,[Rightlytakes out a Pencil and Pocket-book.]and a blank page in that memorandum-book.
[Cliffordwrites.
Rightly.My life on't, his head is turned upon some girl not worth a shilling—There is an amiable defect, but a very observable one, in the nature of some men. A good head and heart operate as effectually as vice or folly could do to make them improvident.
Cliff.Mr. Rightly, I confide to your hands a new secret relative to the Charlton estate; do not read it till you return home.[Gives the Book, aside, and going.]There, Gayville, is one reply to your challenge—and now for another.
Rightly.One moment, sir—I engage for no secrecy that my own judgment shall not warrant.
Cliff.And the benevolence of your heart approve—Those are my conditions.
[Exeunt on opposite Sides.
Hyde Park.
EnterLord Gayvilleimpetuously, looking at his Watch.
Lord G.Not here! I am sure I marked the hour as well as the place, precisely in my note.[Walks about.]Had I been told three days ago, that I should have been the appellant in a premeditated duel, I should have thought it an insult upon my principles—That Clifford should be the cause of my transgressing the legal and sacred duties, we have ever bothmaintained—oh, it would have seemed a visionary impossibility—But he comes, to cut reflections short—
EnterClifford.
Lord G.I waited for you, sir.
Cliff.[Bows in Silence.]
Lord G.That ceremonial would grace an encounter of punctilio, but applies ill to the terms upon which I have called you here.
Cliff.What terms are those, my lord?
Lord G.Vengeance! Ample, final vengeance! Draw, sir.
Cliff.No, my lord; my sword is reserved for more becoming purposes: It is not the instrument of passion; and has yet been untried in a dispute with my friend.
Lord G.But why is it not ready for a different trial, the vindication of perfidy, the blackest species of perfidy, that ever the malignant enemy of mankind infused into the human breast—perfidy to the friend who loved and trusted you, and in the nearest interests of his heart.
Cliff.Take care, my lord; should my blood boil like yours, and it is rising fast, you know not the punishment that awaits you. I came temperate, your gross provocation and thirst of blood make temperance appear disgrace—I am tempted to take a revenge—
Lord G.[Draws.]The means are ready. Come, sir, you are to give an example of qualities generally held incompatible—bravery and dishonour.
Cliff.Another such a word, and by Heaven!—How have I deserved this opinion?
Lord G.Ask your conscience—Under the mask of friendship you have held a secret intercourse with the woman I adore; you have supplanted me in her affections, you have robbed me of the very charm of my life—can you deny it?
Cliff.I avow it all.
Lord G.Unparalleled insolence of guilt!
Cliff.Are you sure there is nothing within the scope of possibility that would excuse or atone—
Lord G.Death—Death only—no abject submission—no compromise for infamy—chuse instantly—and save yourself from the only stretch of baseness left—the invention of falsehood to palliate.—
Cliff.[In the utmost Agitation, and drawing his Sword.]Falsehood!—You shall have no other explanation.—[After a Struggle within himself,Clifforddrops the Point, and exposes his Breast.]
Lord G.Stand upon your defence, sir—What do you mean?
Cliff.You said nothing but my life would satisfy you, take it, and remember me.
Lord G.I say so still—but upon an equal pledge—I am no assassin.
Cliff.[With great Emotion.]If to strike at the heart of your friend, more deeply than that poor instrument in your hand could do, makes an assassin, you have been one already.
Lord G.That look, that tone, how like to innocence! Had he not avowed such abominable practices—
Cliff.I avow them again: I have rivalled you in the love of the woman you adore—her affections are riveted to me. I have removed her from your sight; secured her from your recovery—
Lord G.Damnation!
Cliff.I have done it to save unguarded beauty; to save unprotected innocence; to save—a sister.
Lord G.A sister!
Cliff.[With Exultation.]Vengeance! Ample, final vengeance![A Pause.]It is accomplished—over him—and over myself—my victory is complete.
Lord G.Where shall I hide my shame!
Cliff.We'll share it, and forget it here.
[Embraces.
Lord G.Why did you keep the secret from me?
Cliff.I knew it not myself, till the strange concurrence of circumstances, to which you were in part witness a few hours since, brought it to light. I meant to impart to you the discovery, when my temper took fire—Let us bury our mutual errors in the thought, that we now for life are friends.
Lord G.Brothers, Clifford—Let us interchange that title, and doubly, doubly ratify it. Unite me to your charming sister; accept the hand of Lady Emily in return—her heart I have discovered to be yours——We'll leave the world to the sordid and the tasteless; let an Alscrip, or a Sir Clement Flint, wander after the phantom of happiness, we shall find her real retreat, and hold her by the bonds she covets, virtue, love, and friendship.
Cliff.Not a word more, my lord, the bars against your proposal are insuperable.
Lord G.What bars?
Cliff.Honour! Propriety—and pride.
Lord G.Pride, Clifford!
Cliff.Yes, my lord; Harriet Clifford shall not steal the hand of a prince; nor will I—though doting on Lady Emily with a passion like your own, bear the idea of a clandestine union in a family, to whom I am bound by obligation and trust. Indeed, my lord, without Sir Clement's consent, you must think no more of my sister.
Lord G.Stern stoic, but I will, and not clandestinely; I'll instantly to Sir Clement.
Cliff.Do not be rash; Fortune, or some better agent, is working in wonders—Meet me presently at your uncle's; in the mean while promise not to stir in this business.
Lord G.What hope from delay?
Cliff.Promise—
Lord G.I am in a state to catch at shadows——I'll try to obey you.
Cliff.Farewell!——
[Exeunt.
Sir Clement's House.
EnterMiss Alscrip, in great Spirits, followed byMrs. Blandish.
Miss Als.I am delighted at this summons from Sir Clement, Blandish; poor old clear-sight, I hope he has projected a reconciliation.
Mrs. Blandish.How I rejoice to see those smiles returned to the face that was made for them!
Miss Als.Returned, Blandish? I desire you will not insinuate it ever was without them—Why sure, you would not have the world imagine the temper of an heiress of my class, was to be ruffled by the loss of a paltry earl—I have been highly diverted with what has passed from beginning to end.
Mrs. Blandish.Well, if good humour can be a fault, sure the excess you carry it to must be the example.
Miss Als.I desire it may be made known in all companies, that I have done nothing but laugh—nay, it is true too.
Mrs. Blandish.My dear creature, of what consequence is the truth, when you are charging me with the execution of your desires?
Miss Als.But did you remember the airs of the moppet—Could any thing be more ridiculous?
Mrs. Blandish.The rivalship you mean——Rival Miss Alscrip.—He! he! he!
[Half laugh.
Miss Als.Yes, but when you take this tone in public, laugh a little louder.
Mrs. Blandish.Rival Miss Alscrip, ha! ha! ha!
Both.Ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha!
Mrs. Blandish.[Wiping her Eyes, as not quite recovered from her Laugh.]For mirth's sake, what is become of the rival?—Whom will you chuse she shall have run away with?
Miss Als.Leave it in doubt as it is; fixing circumstances confines the curiosity to one story which may be disproved; uncertainty leaves it open to a hundred, and makes them all probable. But I hear some of the company upon the stairs: Now, Blandish—You shall be witness to the temper and dignity, with which a woman of my consequence can discard a quality courtship that offends her—
Mrs. Blandish.Sweet tempered soul!
EnterSir Clement Flint.
Sir C.Miss Alscrip, your—
[As he is beginning to say your humble Servant,
EnterBlandishout of Breath.
Blandish.The duel's over.
Sir C.And the parties unhurt—You are too late in your intelligence by some minutes. But I know you must rejoice[Ironically.]from your attachment to all parties.—Miss Alscrip, your very—
Miss Als.Duel!—Pray let us hear the particulars—As there is no mischief, I shall not faint.
[Ironically.
Sir C.I guess it has been of the common-place kind.—Hats over the brows—glum silence—thrust—parry—and riposte——Explain and shake hands: Your man of honour never sets his friend right, till he has exchanged a shot—or a thrust: Oh, a little steel recipe is a morning whet to the temper: It carries off all qualms, and leaves the digestion free for any thing that is presented to it.
Miss Als.Dear, how fortunate! Considering the pills some folks have to swallow.
Sir C.Blandish, see if the door of Clifford's room is yet unlocked, there is a person within you little expect to find, and whom it may be proper for this lady and me to interrogate together.
[The Door opens, and
EnterLady Emily.
Blandish.Lady Emily!
Sir C.Inexplicable, with a vengeance.
Miss Als.[Aside.]Lady Emily, shut up in Clifford's apartment! Beyond my expectation, indeed.
[With a malicious Air.
[Lady Emilyseems pleased.
Sir C.[Dryly.]Lady Emily, I know you were always cautious whom you visited, and never gave a better proof of your discernment.
Lady E.Never. Oh! my poor dear uncle, you little think what is going to befall you.
Sir C.Not a disappointment in love, I hope.
Lady E.No, but in something much nearer your heart—your system is threatened with a blow, that I think, and from my soul I hope, it never will recover: would you guess that the sagacious observations of your whole life are upon the point of being confounded by the production—
Sir C.Of what?
Lady E.A woman of ingenuous discretion, and a man of unaffected integrity.
Sir C.Hah!
Mrs. Blandish.What can she mean?
Miss Als.Nothing good—she looks so pleasant.
Lady E.Come forth, my injured friend. Our personal acquaintance has been short, but our hearts were intimate from the first sight.[Presenting her.]Your prisoner, sir, is Miss Harriet Clifford.
Sir C.Clifford's sister!
Miss Als.What, the run-away Alton, turned into a sprig of quality.
Lady E.[Disdainfully toMiss Alscrip.]The humble dependent of Alscrip house—The wanton—the paragon of fraud—the only female that can equal Clifford.[Tauntingly toSir Clement.]She is indeed!
[With Emphasis and Affection.
Blandish.[Aside.]Oh, rot the source of the family fondness—I see I have no card left in my favour—but the heiress.[Goes to her and pays Court—During this Conversation, aside,Lady Emilyseems encouragingMiss Clifford.—Sir Clementmusing, and by Turns examining her.]
Sir C.[To himself.]"Ingenuous discretion!"
EnterClifford, and runs to his Sister.
Cliff.My dearest Harriet! the joy I purposed in presenting you here, is anticipated: but, my blameless fugitive! when your story is known, my pride in you will not be a wonder.—Miss Clifford, behold your persecutor and your convert.
EnterLord Gayville.
Lord G.[With Rapture.]Her persecutor and her convert. Her virtues, which no humility could conceal, and every trial made more resplendent, discovered, disgraced, and reclaimed a libertine.—
Miss Cliff.How am I distressed!—what ought I to answer?
Lord G.Impressed sentiment upon desire, gave honour to passion, and drew from my soul a vow, which Heaven chastise me when I violate, to obtain her by a legal, sacred claim, or renounce fortune, family and friends, and become a self-devoted outcast of the world.
Miss Cliff.Oh! brother, interpose.
Sir C.My lord, your fortune, family and friends are much obliged to you. Your part is perfect—Mr. Clifford, you are called upon. Miss, in strict propriety, throws the business upon her relations—Come, finish the comedy, join one of her hands to the gallant's, while, with the other, she covers her blushes—and he in rapture delivers the moral. All for Love, or, the World well lost.
[Miss Cliffordstill appears agitated.
Cliff.Be patient, my Harriet, this is the school for prejudice, and the lesson of its shame is near.
Miss Als.I vow these singular circumstances give me quite a confusion of pleasure. The astonishing good fortune of my late protegee, in finding so impassioned a friendship in her brother's bed-chamber; the captivating eloquence of Lord Gayville, in winding up an eclaircissement which I admire—not for the first time—to-day—and the superlative joy Sir Clement must feel at an union, founded upon the purity of the passions,—are subjects of such different congratulation, that I hardly know where to begin.
Lady E.[Aside]Charming! her insolence will justify what so seldom occurs to one—a severe retort, without a possible sense of compunction.
Miss Als.But in point of fortune—don't imagine, Sir Clement, I would insinuate that the lady is destitute—oh Lord, far from it. Her musical talents are a portion—
AlscripandRightlywithout.
Alscrip.Why, stop a moment—
Sir C.What have we here—the lawyers in dispute?
Alscrip.[Entering.]You have not heard my last word yet.
Rightly.[Entering.]You have heard mine, sir.
Alscrip.[Whispering.]I'll make the five thousand I offered, ten.
Rightly.Millions would not bribe me—[Coming forward.]When I detect wrong, and vindicate the sufferer, I feel the spirit of the law of England, and the pride of a practitioner.
Alscrip.Lucifer confound such practices![In this Part of the Scene,Sir Clement,Lord Gayville,Lady Emily,Clifford, andMiss Clifford, form one Group.]
[Rightlyopens a Deed, and points out a Part of it toSir Clement.]
[Mr.andMiss Alscripcarry on the following Speeches on the Side at whichAlscriphas entered. AndMr.andMrs. Blandishare farther back, observing.]
Alscrip.That cursed! cursed flaw.—
Miss Als.Flaw! who has dared to talk of one? not in my reputation, sir?
Alscrip.No, but in my estate; which is a damned deal worse.
Miss Als.How? what? when?—where?——The estate that was to be settled upon me?
Alscrip.Yes, but thatmeturned topsey turvey—whenmebroke into my room this morning, and the devil followed, to fly away with all my faculties at once—I am ruined—Let us see what you will settle upon your poor father.
Miss Als.I settle upon you?
Mrs. Blandish.This is an embarrassing accident.
Miss Als.Yes, and a pretty help you are, with a drop chin, like a frontispiece to the Lamentations.
Rightly.[Coming forward withSir Clement.]I stated this with some doubt this morning, but now my credit as a lawyer upon the issue.—The heiress falls short of the terms in your treaty by two thousand pounds a-year—which this deed, lately and providentially discovered, entails upon the heirs of Sir William Charlton, and consequently, in right of his mother, upon this gentleman.
Lady E.How!
Lord G.Happy disappointment.
Sir C.[Aside.]Two thousand a-year to Clifford! It's a pity, for the parade of disinterestedness, that he opened his designs upon Emily, before he knew his pretensions.
Lady E.[Aside.]Now, if there were twenty ceilings, and as many floors, could not I find a spot to settle my silly looks upon.
[Sir Clementobserves her with his usual Shyness.
Sir C.[Turning towardsAlscrip.]Palm a false title upon me? I should have thought the attempt beyond the collective assurance of Westminster-hall—and he takes the loss as much to heart as if he bought the estate with his own money.
Alscrip.[With Hesitation.]Sir Clement—what think you—of an amicable adjustment of all these businesses?
Sir C.[Ironically.]Nothing can be more reasonable. The value of Miss Alscrip's amiable disposition, placed against the abatement of her fortune, is a matter of the most easy computation; and to decide the portion, Mr. Clifford ought to relinquish of his acquisition—Lady Emily—will you be a referée?
Lady E.[Aside.]Yes, the lynx has me—I thought I should not escape.—[To him.]No, sir; my poor abilities only extend to an amicable endeavour here.[ToMiss Alscrip.]And really, Miss Alscrip, I see no reason for your being dispirited; there may bemany ready-made titles at market, within the reach of your purse. Or, why should not a woman of your consequence originate her own splendour? there's an old admirer of mine—He would make a very pretty lord—and indeed, would contribute something on his own part, to ease the purchase—The Blandish family is well with all administrations, and a new coronet is always as big again as an old one. I don't see how you could lay out part of your independency to more advantage.
Blandish.[Aside.]Yes, but since flaws are in fashion, I shall look a little into things before I agree to the bargain.
Miss Als.[Aside.]I'll die before I'll discover my vexation—and yet,[Half crying.]no title—no place.
Lady E.Depend upon it, Miss Alscrip, your place will be found exactly where it ought to be. The public eye, in this country, is never long deceived—Believe me—and cherish obscurity—Title may bring forward merits, but it also places our defects in horrid relief.
Alscrip.Molly, the sooner we get out of court the better—we have damnably the worst of this cause, so come along, Molly—[Taking her under the Arm.]—and farewell to Berkeley Square. Whoever wants Alscrip House, will find it in the neighbourhood of Furnival's Inn, with the noble title of Scrivener, in capitals—Blank bonds at the windows, and a brass knocker at the door.[Pulling her.]Come along, Molly.
Miss Als.[Half crying.—Aside.]Oh! the barbarous metamorphosis—but his flusterums for a week, will serve my temper, as a regimen. I will then take the management of my affairs into my own hands, and break from my cloud anew: and you shall find[To the Company.]there are those without a coronet, that can be as saucy, and as loud, and stop the wayin all public places, as well as the best of you.[Lady Emilylaughs.]Yes, madam, and without borrowing your ladyship's airs.
Als.[Pulling her.]Come along, Molly.
Miss Als.Oh you have been a jewel of a father.
[The Company laugh.
[ExeuntMr.andMiss Alscrip.
[Mr.andMrs. Blandishstay behind.
Lady E.Mrs. Blandish, sure you do not leave your friend, Miss Alscrip, in distress?
Mrs. Blandish.We'll not disturb the ashes of the dead—my sweet Lady Emily—
Blandish.Oh my sweet sister, none of your flourishes—In the present mood of the company, even mine would not do. Truth and sentiment have the ascendency. But let them alone; and they'll come round again.[Addressing the Company.]Flattery is the diet of good humour; and not one of you can live without it; and when you quarrel with the family of Blandish, you only leave refined cookery, to be fed upon scraps, by a poor cousin or a led captain.
[Taking his Sister under his Arm.
Mrs. Blandish.[With a Look of Courtship to the Company.]Oh! the two charming pairs!
Blandish.[Pulling her away.]Oh! thou walking dedication!
[Exeunt.
Lord G.Precious group, fare ye well.[ToSir Clement.]And now, sir, whatever may be your determinations towards me—here are pretensions you may patronize without breach of discretion. The estate which devolves to my friend—
Rightly.To prevent errors—is not his to bestow.
Sir C.What now—more flaws?
Rightly.The estate was his beyond the reach of controversy: but before he was truly sure of it, on his way to Hyde-Park, did this spendthrift, by a stroke of his pen, divest himself of every shilling—Here is the covenant by which he binds himself toexecute proper conveyances as soon as the necessary forms can be gone through.