'If my father had lived, I would be brought up to good iddication,' says Gin.
'If my mother had lived, I would be brought up at a boarding-school,' says Anniseed-water.
'Why, curse you,' says Gin, 'what was your mother but an old apple-woman?'
'And curse you,' says Anniseed-water, 'what was your father but a gallows-bird of a bum-bailiff?'
'And then they fell a fighting and scratching; and Anniseed-water (the present Mrs. Jerry Sullivan) was getting well cuffed, when I came to her assistance. So that was our first meeting.'
'You may boast of it,' said I. 'Now then for your courtship.'
'You shall hear,' said he. 'She was so much obliged to me, that she asked me home to tea, and I went. I found her a buxom widow, and at that time she was as fine a doorful, as tight a wench over a washing-tub, as you would wish to see. And there was her daughter, and a great deal of good company;—the tailor's wife, and the barber's wife, and the pawnbroker's wife; and none so grand as they. And they told as many lies over the first dish of tea as a parcel of porters would over twenty barrels of strong beer. And a young valet, who I could see was courting the widow, swore that it was as good to be out of the world as out of the fashion, and then he whispered to her that she looked killing genteel. But I only pinched her elbow, and I thought she liked that better.'
'It was very vulgar, however,' observed I. 'The first process is to kiss the hand.'
'Ogh!' cried Jerry, 'that is a slobbering trick, to be mumbling knuckles just as a pup niggles at a bone. I am the man to take at once, and fluster a woman, and reckon her ribs for her. No creeping up, and up, and up; and then down, and down, and down, for me—Why, as I hope to be saved, I gave that same widow a thundering kiss on three days acquaintance.'
'Poor thing!' exclaimed I. 'Well, and what did she say?'
'Say? why she said, "Be quiet now, though I know you can't." So, of course, I kissed her still more; while she changed colour in a minute as often as a blackberry in a month. "Ha done, do;" says she, "or I will call out, only there is nobody at home;"—when, at the moment, in pops the valet, and catches us lip to lip.
'Now he was a conceited sort of a chap, who used to set himself off with great airs, shew his white hands—that, I verily believe, he washed every day of his life;—curse and swear just like a gentleman, keep a tooth-brush, and make both his heels meet when he bowed.
'Well, I had nothing upon earth to oppose to all this but a bit of a quarrel;—that wasmystrong point;—and sure enough, I gave him such a beating for catching us, that the widow thought me main stout, and married me in a week.
'With her money I set up shop; and I did not much mind her being ten years older than myself, since she was ten times richer. I only copied my own father there; for he once happened to be divided between two girls, one of them with a single cow for her portion, and the other with two cows; so he consulted his landlord which of them he should marry, and his landlord bade him by all means marry the girl with the two cows; "for," says he, "there is not a cow difference between any two women."
'So now that is my history.'
'If I am to collect from it,' said I, 'the character of your countrymen in your own class of life, I must conclude that they are frank, generous, and noble; but neglected in their morals and education, and oppressed by their superiors.'
'Ay, there is the matter,' said Jerry. 'By way of keeping us quiet they keep us down. Now that is just the way to prevent our keeping quiet, for it is natural that men who are kept down should try to rise up.'
'And why do they keep you down?' asked I.
'Because,' answered he, 'we are of one religion, and they of another; and they say our religion is so bad, that it would make us keep them down, if they did not keep us down.'
'Then,' said I, 'you ought to be greatly obliged to them for keeping you down; because that is doing what they condemn, lest you should do it. Now it is the highest possible test of good-nature, to become criminal ourselves, in order to keep our friends virtuous.'
'A wise legislator,' said the minstrel, 'ought not to forget the eighteenth century, in his retrospection to the sixteenth, nor in his anticipation of the twentieth.'
'I know nothing of anticskippation,' said Jerry, 'but I will tell you a bit of a story. When I first went to London, and was poor, I used to dine in a cellar, with other Irishmen, where the knives and forks were chained to the table, for fear we should steal them; though in my mind, the surest way to make a rogue, is to let him know that you think him one. Well, when we began to grow rich, we got a spirit, and broke the chains, and paid for them; and broke them again, and paid for them again, and so on. At last the master began to see that the same spirit which made us break the chains would prevent us from stealing the knives and forks; so he took off the chains, and then his table was no disgrace, and we brought more company to it, and he made his fortune.'
The minstrel and warden now retired to their allotted place of rest—the barouche. Each was to keep watch in turn at the castle gate, and to toll the hour on the bell.
The wind still moaned round the turret; and now the fire, ghastly in decay, but just tinged the projecting folds of the hangings. Dismal looked the bed as I drew near; and while I lifted the velvet pall to creep beneath, I shivered, and almost expected to behold the apparition of a human face, starting from under it. When I lay down, I kept my eyes quite closed, for fear of seeing something; nor was it till the third bell had tolled that I fell asleep.
Adieu.
I rose early this morning, and summoned Jerry to the Black Chamber, for my head was teeming with the most important projects.
'My friend,' said I, 'though Lady Gwyn has already acknowledged me as the rightful owner, not alone of this castle, but of the house that she herself inhabits, yet I cannot apply to my tenantry for rent, or even raise a sum of money sufficient to purchase my breakfast, till she surrenders up those deeds and parchments which would give me a legal claim. Now as I fear I shall find it a hard matter to make her do so, I have resolved on proposing a compromise, and on waving all title to the house and demesne that she now occupies, provided she will consent to put me in formal possession of this castle, and all the land appertaining to it.
'I have therefore determined to pay her ladyship a visit for this purpose; but as I was driven from her house with disgrace once before, I mean to return thither now with such a train of domestics as shall put it out of her power to offer me insult, or detain my person.
'Now, Warden, if I could but hire a set of servants, who would consent to live in my castle and defend it, I would, on my part, give each of them a lot of ground, and consider them as feudal vassals; and they could accompany me to Lady Gwyn's. I have therefore to request that you will instantly set off, and endeavour to procure them for me, as no time is to be lost.'
'Begging your ladyship's pardon,' said Jerry, 'you are sending me of a fool's errand: for who but madmen would hire as servants in such a castle as this? Would you have them build swallows' nests for themselves under the windows, and live on suction like the snipes?'
'Mr. Sullivan,' said I, 'cast no sarcasms, but go and do as you are desired.'
'Well, from this moment out, I say nothing,' cried Jerry. 'Nothing at all, at all: but like the old woman's crow, I will be the devil for thinking.'
'Another sarcasm?' said I.
'May be 'tis better for me to go at once, before I get into a scrape,' cried he. 'So now, your ladyship, how many of these same feudal vessels, as you call 'em; these vessels that are to have no drink——'
'Jerry!——'
'Well, well, give me my directions quick, and there is my hand on my mouth till I am out of the castle.'
'You may hire about fifteen or twenty of them,' said I. 'But remember, I will have no dapper footmen, with smirking faces. I must have a clan such as we read of in the middle ages; fellows with Norman noses, and all sorts of frowns—men of iron, fit to live in comets.'
'Better live in comets, than——' But he clapped his hand on his mouth in time, and then ran down the steps.
During his absence, I paid a visit to the poor cottagers, and after having sat with them awhile, and promised them assistance before evening, I returned towards the castle.
On approaching it, I perceived, to my great surprise, Jerry also advancing at the head of about twenty strange looking men, all armed with bludgeons.
'Here are the boys!' cried Jerry. 'Here are the true sort. Few Norman noses, I believe, but all honest hearts; and though they never lived in comets, egad they lived in Ireland, and that is worth fifty comets. Look at 'em. Hold up your heads, you dogs. They came over only to save the hay, and reap the harvest; but when they found their countryman and a woman in distress, they volunteered their services; and now here they are, ready for that same Lady Gwyn, or any lady in the land.'
'Welcome, my friends,' said I; 'and be well assured that I will reward you munificently.'
'Three cheers!' cried Jerry.
They gave three cheers.
My heart dilated with exultation at beholding this assemblage of feudal vassals at my command; and in a moment I had arranged my project. As it was expedient to inspire Lady Gwyn with respect and awe, I resolved on making the best possible display of my power, taste, and feudal magnificence. Of course, I meant to visit her in my barouche; and since I had no horses for it, my plan was to make some of my domestics draw it in a triumphal manner, while the rest should follow in procession. To let them escort me in their own ragged and unclassical dresses was impossible; but I think you will give me credit for my ingenuity in supplying them with others. I determined to divide the black cloth into large pieces, which they should wear as cloaks, and to stick a black feather in each of their hats, a costume that would give them the pleasing appearance of Udolphian Condottieri.
We now set about making the cloaks, but as we had not sufficient cloth remaining, we were obliged to strip the Black Chamber of part of its hangings.
I had appropriated a large portion of the cloth to make flowing drapery for Higginson, whom I meant to take in the barouche with me; but as minstrels never wear hats, and have always bald heads, I was at a loss how to manage about his, since he still cherished and curled his locks, with a spruceness most unmeet for minstrelsy. At last, after repeated assurances how much better he would look, I persuaded him to let Jerry shave the crown of his head.
Accordingly, Jerry performed the tonsoral operation in the Black Chamber, while I remained below, fixing the feathers and cloaks on my domestics. These poor fellows, who, I suppose, had never read even an alphabet, much less a romance, in their lives, stood gaping at each other in silent wonder, though some of them attempted unmeaning, and, I must say, troublesome jests on what was going forward.
When drest, a more formidable and picturesque group than they presented you never beheld, and while I was still admiring them, forth from the turret issued the minstrel. But such a spectacle! Half his huge head was shorn of its hair: his black garments, knotted just under his bare neck, gave a new ghastliness to his face, while his eyes, as he rivetted them upon me, were starting out of their sockets with anxiety and agitation. He looked preternatural. To contain was impossible: I began laughing, and the Irishman uttered a shout of derision.
The poor man looked round him, turned as pale as ashes; his face began to work and quiver, and at last he burst into a piteous fit of crying. Then suddenly lifting a prodigious stone, he whirled it at Jerry's head, who ducked for his life, and saved it.
'And what did I do to you?' cried Jerry.
'You shaved my head because you knew it would spoil my looks,' cried the minstrel. 'And you are endeavouring to outdo me with my mistress, and she likes you better than me;—but it cannot be holpen. Oh, dear, dear!'
I tried to sooth him: nothing would do, nor could I persuade him to accompany me; so now, all being ready, I posted two sentinels on the top of the turret, and then got into my barouche. Six vassals were deputed to draw it, the rest followed with their oaken saplings under their cloaks, and Jerry headed the whole. Never was a more august procession; and I will venture to say, that this country, at least, never saw any thing like it.
As we proceeded along the road, the people ran out of their houses to gaze on us. Some said that we were strolling players, and others swore that we were going to a funeral; while a rabble of boys and girls capered at our heels, and gathered as we went.
It was not till about five o'clock that we reached Lady Gwyn's avenue. We paused there a moment, while I made my attendants shake the dust from their cloaks, and wipe the barouche; and now, with a beating heart, I found myself at her door.
Jerry then pealed an authoritative rap. The door opened. The servant stared.
'Inform the Lady Gwyn,' said I, 'that her niece, the Lady Cherubina de Willoughby, desires the honour of a conference with her.'
The fellow grinned, and vanished; and, in a few minutes, out came her ladyship, accompanied by several guests, some of whose faces I remembered having seen there before. I therefore felt doubly delighted that I had come in such feudal and chivalric pomp.
They greeted me with great kindness and respect.
Carelessly bowing to Lady Gwyn, as I sat half reclined in the barouche, I thus addressed her:
'I now come to your ladyship with a proposal, which it is as generous in me to offer, as it will be politic in you to accept. And first, learn, that I am at this moment in actual possession of Monkton Castle, the noble seat of my ancestors. To that castle, and to this house, your ladyship has already acknowledged my just right; and to both, of course, I can establish my claim by a judiciary process.
'As, however, I prefer a more amicable mode of adjustment, and am willing to spare the effusion of money, I now declare my readiness to make over this house and demesne to your ladyship, and to your heirs for ever, on condition that you, on your part, will surrender to me, without delay or reservation, the title deeds of Monkton Castle, and all the Monkton estate. This is a generous proposal. What say you? Yes or no?'
'Lady Cherubina,' returned her ladyship, 'I cannot think of entering into terms with you, till you restore the portrait that you purloined from this house. But, in the mean time, as a proof of my desire to settle matters amicably, I request the honour of your company at dinner to-day.'
'Your ladyship must excuse me,' said I, with a noble air. 'During our present dispute respecting this house, I should deem it derogatory to my honour and my dignity, were I to enter it in the capacity of guest.'
'Why then, death and 'ounds!' cried Jerry, 'is it to refuse so good an offer, after starving all the morning!'
'Starving!' cried Lady Gwyn.
'We have not put a morsel inside our mouths this blessed day,' said Jerry; 'and even yesterday we dined on potatoes and milk, and a sort of a contrivance of a cake that your ladyship would'nt throw to your cat.'
I thought I should drop at this exposure of our poverty, and I commanded him to be silent.
'Time enough for silence when one has spoken,' cried he. 'But sure, would'nt it vex a saint to hear you talking about honour and dignity, when all the time you are in a starving state!'
'Sensibly remarked,' said Lady Gwyn. 'And pray, my good fellow, who are you?'
'My warden,' answered I quickly, lest he should speak. 'And these are my feudal vassals; and I have left my minstrel, and the rest of my faithful people, on the battlements of the eastern tower, just over the Black Chamber, to guard my castle.'
'And for all this fine talk,' cried Jerry, 'we have not so much as a rap farthing amongst the whole set of us. So pray, your ladyship, do make her stay dinner—Do. Or may be,' (said he, getting closer and whispering Lady Gwyn), 'may be you would just lend her half-a-crown or so; and, 'pon my soul, I will pay you myself in ten days.'
'Silence, traitor!' cried I, rising in the barouche, and dignifying my manner. 'I do not want a dinner: I would not accept of a dinner; but above all, of a dinner in this house, till I am mistress of it!'
'And is it true,' cried Jerry to Lady Gwyn, 'that she is the real mistress of this house?'
'Oh! certainly, certainly,' said her ladyship.
'Oh! certainly, certainly,' said the guests.
'Well, bad luck to me, if ever I believed it, till this moment,' cried Jerry. 'And why then won't your ladyship give it up to her?'
'Because,' answered she, 'the quiet surrender of an estate was never yet read of in romances.'
''Tis the only rational excuse you can assign,' said I.
'Dinner is on the table,' said the butler coming to the door.
'And so,' cried Jerry to me, 'you won't dine in this house till you are mistress of it?'
'Never, as I hope to see heaven!' answered I.
'And so,' cried he to Lady Gwyn, 'you won't make her mistress of it?'
'Never, as I hope to see heaven!' answered she.
'Why then,' cried Jerry, 'since one refuses to dine in it till she is mistress of it, and since the other owns that she ought to be mistress of it, and yet won't make her mistress of it; by the powers, I will make her mistress of it in two minutes!'
So saying, he shouted some words in an uncouth jargon (Irish, I suppose) to my vassals, several of whom instantly darted into the house, others brandished their sticks in the faces of the guests; Jerry himself ran, lifted me from the barouche, and bore me into the hall; while the rest brought up the rear, and beat back the gentlemen who were attempting to rush between us and the door.
Jerry set me down in the hall, where I stood motionless, while some of my domestics scudded, with merry uproar, through kitchen, parlour, drawing-room, garret; and drove footman, maid, valet, cook, scullion, and lap-dog, all out of the house.
'Now then,' cried Jerry, shutting the hall-door, 'your ladyship is in quiet possession for ever and ever.'
'Jerry,' said I, 'there is no knowing how this will end. But come into that parlour, for some of my people are making a sad riot there.'
In we went; it was the dining-room, and to my great astonishment, I found about a dozen of my domestics already round the table, eating and drinking as if nothing had happened. In vain Jerry and I desired them to desist; they did not even seem to hear us. They laughed and capered, and tore whole joints with their hands, and swallowed the richest wines from the decanters. The rest soon flocked in, and then such a scene of confusion arose as struck me with utter dismay. And now, having glutted themselves, they ran to the windows, and exhibited the mangled meat and diminished wine to the dismayed eyes of poor Lady Gwyn. There she stood in the midst of her friends, looking like a bedlamite; and as soon as I appeared, she beckoned me, with the most frantic gesticulations, to open the window.
I called the warden to my side, and flung up the sash.
'Let us in, let us in!' cried she. 'My house will be destroyed by these diabolical miscreants! Oh! let us in, let us in!'
'Lady Gwyn,' said I, 'these outrages are on my house, not on your's. But be well assured that whatever injury your personal property may sustain, it is contrary to my wishes, and will by me be amply compensated.'
'Gracious powers!' exclaimed she. 'My precious cabinet, and all my furniture will be demolished! Won't you save my house? won't you? dear ma'am, won't you?'
'Yourhouse?' cried Jerry. 'Why I had your own word for it just now that it was my own lady's house. So, if you told a lie, take the consequence. But we have got possession, and let me see who will dare drive us out.'
'Here they are that will soon drive you out!' cried a servant.
'Here they are, here they are!' echoed every one.
All eyes were now directed down the avenue, and, to my horror, I perceived a large party of soldiers, in full march towards the house.
'We shall have a bloody battle of it,' whispered Jerry. 'But never fear, my lady, we will fight to the last gasp. Hollo, lads, here is a battle for you!'
At that magic word, all the Irishmen clubbed their sticks, and ran forward.
'We must surrender,' said I. 'Never could I bear the dreadful contest.'
'By the mother that bore me,' cried Jerry, 'I will defend the house in spite of you!'
'Then I will walk out of it,' said I.
'Well, surrender away!' cried Jerry, 'and may all the—— Oh! murder, murder, to give up your own house without a bit of a battle!'
By this time the soldiers had arrived, and the magistrate who was at their head, advanced, and desired me to have the door opened instantly.
'Provided you pledge yourself that none of my brave fellows shall be punished,' answered I.
'You shall all be punished with the utmost rigour of the law,' said the magistrate.
'Since that is the case then,' cried I, 'and since I cannot keep possession of my house, I am resolved that no one else shall. Know, Sir, I have, at this instant, six of my domestics, each with a lighted brand, stationed in different apartments; and the moment you order your men to advance, that moment I give the signal, and the house bursts into a blaze.'
'If you dare,' cried the magistrate.
'Dare!' cried Lady Gwyn. 'The creature would dare any thing. Dare! why she burned a house once before. She did, I protest to you; so pray, make some conditions with her, or she will burn this now. I tell you the girl is quite——' and she whispered something in the magistrate's ear.
'Well,' said the magistrate to me, 'will you promise never to come here again, provided I now let you and your gang pass without detention or punishment?'
'I will,' answered I. 'But I must make some conditions too. In the first place, will your ladyship give me back my cloaths and the money that I left behind me, when I was here last?'
'I will,' answered her ladyship.
'In the next place,' said I, 'will your ladyship promise not to prevent me from inhabiting Monkton Castle, till such time as the law shall determine which of us has a right to the contested estates?'
'Undoubtedly,' replied her ladyship.
'And now,' said I, 'I must have the distinct and solemn declaration of every individual present, that neither myself nor my people shall suffer any molestation in consequence of what we have done.'
All present pledged their honours.
'Now then,' said I, 'we will open the door.'
Accordingly, the warden opened it, and I issued forth with a majestic demeanour, while my awful band marched after their triumphant mistress.
Lady Gwyn and her guests hastened into the house, without even wishing me good evening, and the soldiers drew up before the door.
In a few minutes, a servant came out with my dresses and the money. Having received them, I got into my barouche, and, drawn by my vassals, proceeded homeward. We were silent for some time, but at length I called Jerry to the side of the carriage.
'Well, my friend,' cried I, quite cheerful, 'I think we have come off famously.'
'Yes,' said Jerry.
'I flatter myself,' added I, 'we have made a good day's work of it.'
'Yes,' said Jerry.
'Nothing but yes!' said I. 'Why now, do you not think we have obtained the most decisive advantages? Was it not a glorious affair?'
'Since I must speak out,' cried Jerry, 'I think it was the bluest business that ever was botched by poltroons.'
'It was all your own doing, however,' said I. 'So now you may walk on, Sir.'
Jerry tossed his hat at one side, and strutted forward.
'Come back, Jerry,' cried I. 'Here is my hand. You are a faithful fellow, and would have died for me.'
'Ah, bless you!' cried he. 'You quarrel like a cat, but you make up like an angel!'
It was night before we reached the castle; and as I had not tasted a morsel all day, I dispatched Jerry to the village for provisions, and other matters. I then divided six guineas among my domestics, and desired them to return next morning, as I should want them to repair the fortifications, dig a mote, and excavate subterranean passages.
They gave three cheers, and departed.
In about an hour Jerry returned with a cart containing an abundant stock of provisions;—bread, meat, potatoes, tea, sugar, &c. besides, a kettle, plates, cups and saucers, &c.
After having unloaded and dismissed the cart, we made a fire in the Black Chamber, and supped. I then took a solitary walk, and carried some victuals to the poor cottagers. They received the donation with gratitude, and I left them to the comforts of a hearty meal.
It is now probable that I may reside some time at my castle; and as to my villa, I wish Lady Gwyn joy of it; for in my opinion it is a fright. Conceive the difference between the two. The villa mere lath and plaster; with its pretty little stucco-work, and its pretty little paintings, and its pretty little bronzes. Nice, new, sweet, and charming, are the only epithets that one can apply to it; while antique, sublime, terrible, picturesque, and Gothic, are the adjectives appropriate to my castello. What signify laced footmen, Chinese vases, Grecian tripods, and Turkish sofas, in comparison with feudal vassals, ruined towers, black hangings, dampness, and ivy? And to a person of real taste, a single stone of this edifice is worth a whole cart-load of such stones as the onyx, and sardonyx, and the other barbarous baubles belonging to Lady Gwyn. But nothing diverts me more than the idea that poor Lady Gwyn is twice as old as the house she lives in. I have got a famous simile on the subject. What think you of a decayed nut in an unripe shell? The woman is sixty if she is a day.
Adieu.
The moist shadows of night had fled, dawn shook the dew from his purple ringlets, and the sun, that well-known gilder of eastern turrets, arose with his usual punctuality. I too rose, and having now recovered my wardrobe, enjoyed the luxury of changing my dress; for I had worn the same cloaths several days, and consequently was become a perfect slattern. How other heroines manage, I cannot imagine; for I have read of some of them who were thrown among mountains, or into cells, and desolate chambers, and caverns; full of slime, mud, vermin, dust, and cobwebs, where they remained whole months without clean linen, soap, brush, towel, or comb; and, at last, when rescued from captivity, forth they walked, glittering like the morning star, as fragrant as a lily, and as fresh as an oyster.
We breakfasted on the top of the tower; and after our repast, the minstrel told me that he had employed the day before in composing a Metrical Romance, called 'Monkton Castle;' which, with my permission, he would now repeat.
I was delighted; and to give it every advantage, I placed him at the harp, flung his black garments over him, and making him sit on the battlements, endeavoured to fix him in the fine attitude of old Allan Bane; but his limbs were so muscular and impracticable, that I could make nothing of them. With an emphatic enunciation, he thus began.
MONKTON CASTLE
A METRICAL ROMANCE
Awake, my harp, sweet plaintiff, wake once more,Now while bedight in shadowy amice dim,Eve bathes the mountains in her radiant gore,And edges ocean with a fiery rim.And while I touch, with nails ypared anew,Thy parallel and quadrupedal strings,May fairies brush away the vesper dew,That else mote moist the chorded chitterlings.And ah! full oft the learned tribe, I trow,With baleful dews of cavil damp thy strain.But morning shall return, the sun shall glow,The baleful dews shall fly, the harp shall sound again.It was a castle of turrets grey,All nettles and chickweed inside;Where the wind did howl the livelong day,And the livelong night beside.It had no windows or roof, I am sure,Or parlour for Bell-accoyle;Where a Belamay and a Belamoure,In daynt Bellgards mote moyl.
Awake, my harp, sweet plaintiff, wake once more,Now while bedight in shadowy amice dim,Eve bathes the mountains in her radiant gore,And edges ocean with a fiery rim.And while I touch, with nails ypared anew,Thy parallel and quadrupedal strings,May fairies brush away the vesper dew,That else mote moist the chorded chitterlings.And ah! full oft the learned tribe, I trow,With baleful dews of cavil damp thy strain.But morning shall return, the sun shall glow,The baleful dews shall fly, the harp shall sound again.
Awake, my harp, sweet plaintiff, wake once more,
Now while bedight in shadowy amice dim,
Eve bathes the mountains in her radiant gore,
And edges ocean with a fiery rim.
And while I touch, with nails ypared anew,
Thy parallel and quadrupedal strings,
May fairies brush away the vesper dew,
That else mote moist the chorded chitterlings.
And ah! full oft the learned tribe, I trow,
With baleful dews of cavil damp thy strain.
But morning shall return, the sun shall glow,
The baleful dews shall fly, the harp shall sound again.
It was a castle of turrets grey,All nettles and chickweed inside;Where the wind did howl the livelong day,And the livelong night beside.It had no windows or roof, I am sure,Or parlour for Bell-accoyle;Where a Belamay and a Belamoure,In daynt Bellgards mote moyl.
It was a castle of turrets grey,
All nettles and chickweed inside;
Where the wind did howl the livelong day,
And the livelong night beside.
It had no windows or roof, I am sure,
Or parlour for Bell-accoyle;
Where a Belamay and a Belamoure,
In daynt Bellgards mote moyl.
'That same parlour,' said Jerry, 'has bells enough to bother the rookery of Thomastown, and that is the largest in Ireland.'
Nathlesse, to stablish her rights, I ween,Came to that castle fair Cherubine.Nor the wind day and night could her astound,Nor the nettles and chickweed that grew on the ground.She was of the house of De Willoughby,And her story was long and melancholie;But her beauty never could rivalled be.Glittered her tresses like beams of sun,And snake-like over her neck did run.Her cheek, where dimples made beauteous breach,Lovelily smiled, and the down on eachWas soft as fur of unfingered peach.While thro' her marble a blush did gleam,Like ruddy berries, all crushed in cream.The minstrel to the castle hied,His mother's hope, his mother's pride.Gramercy, how that mother cried!He was a gentle man of thought,And grave, but not ungracious aught.His face with thinking lines was wrought.And though his head was bald a space,Than he who shore it will get grace.
Nathlesse, to stablish her rights, I ween,Came to that castle fair Cherubine.Nor the wind day and night could her astound,Nor the nettles and chickweed that grew on the ground.She was of the house of De Willoughby,And her story was long and melancholie;But her beauty never could rivalled be.
Nathlesse, to stablish her rights, I ween,
Came to that castle fair Cherubine.
Nor the wind day and night could her astound,
Nor the nettles and chickweed that grew on the ground.
She was of the house of De Willoughby,
And her story was long and melancholie;
But her beauty never could rivalled be.
Glittered her tresses like beams of sun,And snake-like over her neck did run.Her cheek, where dimples made beauteous breach,Lovelily smiled, and the down on eachWas soft as fur of unfingered peach.While thro' her marble a blush did gleam,Like ruddy berries, all crushed in cream.
Glittered her tresses like beams of sun,
And snake-like over her neck did run.
Her cheek, where dimples made beauteous breach,
Lovelily smiled, and the down on each
Was soft as fur of unfingered peach.
While thro' her marble a blush did gleam,
Like ruddy berries, all crushed in cream.
The minstrel to the castle hied,His mother's hope, his mother's pride.Gramercy, how that mother cried!He was a gentle man of thought,And grave, but not ungracious aught.His face with thinking lines was wrought.And though his head was bald a space,Than he who shore it will get grace.
The minstrel to the castle hied,
His mother's hope, his mother's pride.
Gramercy, how that mother cried!
He was a gentle man of thought,
And grave, but not ungracious aught.
His face with thinking lines was wrought.
And though his head was bald a space,
Than he who shore it will get grace.
'Now that is a slap at me!' cried Jerry.
Yet, though he sold full half his books,To lay out money on his looks;The lady had such deep disdain;That the poor minstrel, in his pain,From the hour that is natal,To the hour that is fatal,Mote sing these words, and sing in vain.
Yet, though he sold full half his books,To lay out money on his looks;The lady had such deep disdain;That the poor minstrel, in his pain,From the hour that is natal,To the hour that is fatal,Mote sing these words, and sing in vain.
Yet, though he sold full half his books,
To lay out money on his looks;
The lady had such deep disdain;
That the poor minstrel, in his pain,
From the hour that is natal,
To the hour that is fatal,
Mote sing these words, and sing in vain.
SONGThe birds are all singing,The bells are all ringing,And tidings are bringing,Of peace and of joy.Then let us, my treasure,In love without measure,And tenderest pleasure,Our moments employ.
SONG
SONG
The birds are all singing,The bells are all ringing,And tidings are bringing,Of peace and of joy.Then let us, my treasure,In love without measure,And tenderest pleasure,Our moments employ.
The birds are all singing,
The bells are all ringing,
And tidings are bringing,
Of peace and of joy.
Then let us, my treasure,
In love without measure,
And tenderest pleasure,
Our moments employ.
'Eh! what? what's all that?' cried Jerry. 'Why sure—body o'me, sure you ant—Oh, confound me, but 'tis making love to the mistress you are!'
The minstrel blushed, and more pointedly repeated;
But her favourite warden, could he but sing,He not unlistened, would touch the string,Tho' he was a man with unchisseled face;From eye to eye too little a space;A jester withouten one attic joke,And the greatest liar that ever spoke.
But her favourite warden, could he but sing,He not unlistened, would touch the string,Tho' he was a man with unchisseled face;From eye to eye too little a space;A jester withouten one attic joke,And the greatest liar that ever spoke.
But her favourite warden, could he but sing,
He not unlistened, would touch the string,
Tho' he was a man with unchisseled face;
From eye to eye too little a space;
A jester withouten one attic joke,
And the greatest liar that ever spoke.
'Bad luck to you, what do you mean by that?' cried Jerry, running towards him. 'I will box you for a shilling!'
'You are not worth one,' exclaimed the minstrel, starting up.
'I will leave your carcase not worth one,' cried Jerry.
'That would be more than your's is worth now,' returned the minstrel.
'For shame, my friends!' cried I. 'Mr. Higginson, I declare your conduct is that of a child.'
'Because you treat me like one,' said he. 'And you treat him like a man.'
'But you should treat him like a gentleman,' said I.
'Well, well, well,' cried the minstrel; 'there is my hand for you, Mr. Sullivan.'
'And there is mine for you,' said Jerry. 'Hand in hand is better than fist to fist at any time.'
'I will defer hearing the remainder of your poem,' said I, 'till you have altered it. But my good friend, do not forget to tell that I inhabit theeasternturret, and to give a full description of it. You might begin thus:
He who would view that east turret aright,Must go at rosy-finger'd morning bright.'
He who would view that east turret aright,Must go at rosy-finger'd morning bright.'
He who would view that east turret aright,
Must go at rosy-finger'd morning bright.'
'Rosy-fingered morning!' cried Jerry. 'Why, how can the morning have rosy fingers?'
'It has not,' answered I. 'The poets only say so by way of ornament.'
'And yet,' cried Jerry, 'if I had said, when I was telling you my history, that I saw a set of red fingers and thumbs rising in the east every morning, I warrant you would have called me a liar, just as you did about that business of the Pacific Ocean.'
'Why,' said the minstrel, 'we poets are permitted a peculiar latitude of language, which enables us to tell Homeric falsehoods, without fear of the society for discountenancing vice. Thus, when we speak of
The lightning of her angel smile,
we do not expect one to believe that fire comes out of her mouth, whenever it laughs.'
'Not unless her teeth were flints,' said Jerry. 'But if you said that fire came out of her eyes, one would believe you sooner; for this I know, that many and many a time Molly has struck fire out of mine.'
'A heroine's eye,' said I, 'gives a greater scope to the poet than any thing in the world. It is all fire and water. If it is not beaming, or sparkling, it is sure to be drowned or swimming——'
'In the Pacific Ocean, I hope,' cried Jerry.
'No, but in tears,' said the minstrel. 'And of these there is an infinite variety. There is the big tear, and the bitter tear, and the salt tear, and the scalding tear.'
'And, ah!' cried I, 'how delightful, when two lovers lay cheek to cheek, and mingle these tears; or when the tender youth kisses them from his mistress's cheek!'
'Troth, then, that must be no small compliment,' said Jerry, 'since they are so brackish and scalding as you say. Water itself is maukish at any time, but salt water is the devil. Well, if I took such a dose of a snivelling chit's tears, I would season it with a dram, or my name is not Jerry.'
'And, by the by, I wish Jerry were not your name,' said I. ''Tis so vulgar for a warden. Indeed, I have often thought of altering it toJeronymo; which, I fancy, is the Italian ofJerry. For, in my opinion, nothing can equal Italian names ending in O.'
'Except Irish names beginning with O,' cried Jerry.
'Nay,' said I, 'what can be finer than Montalto, Stefano, Morano, Rinaldo, Ubaldo, Utaldo?'
'I will tell you,' said Jerry. 'O'Brien, O'Leary, O'Flaherty, O'Flanigan, O'Guggerty, O'Shaugnassy——'
'Oh, ecstasy!' exclaimed a voice just beneath the turret. I looked down, and beheld—Montmorenci himself, clad in armour, and gazing up at me with an attitude that mocked mortal pencil.
I waved my hand, and smiled.
'What? whom do I behold?' cried he. 'Ah,'tis but a dream! Yet I spoke to her, I am sure I spoke to her; and she beckoned me. Merciful powers! Why this terror? Is it not Cherubina, and would Cherubina hurt her Montmorenci?'
'Jerry, Jerry,' said I; 'run down to the Black Chamber, and clean it out quick. Sweep the ashes into a corner, hide the pipkin and kettle, pin up the cloaks against the walls; put the leg of mutton under the bed. Run, run.—My lord, the Lady Cherubina hastes to receive your lordship at her ever-open portal.'
I then descended, and met him beneath the gateway. His greeting was frantic, but decorous; mine endearing, but reserved. Several very elegant things were said on both sides. Of course, he snatched my hand, and fed upon it.
At last, when I supposed that Jerry had regulated the room above, I conducted his lordship up the steps; while I anticipated his delight at beholding so legendary, fatal, and inconvenient a chamber.
His astonishment was, indeed, excessive. He stared round and round, admired the black hangings, the bed, the bell, and the horn.
'I see,' said he, advancing to the ashes, 'that you are even classical enough to burn a fire of wood. But ha! (and he started,) what do mine eyes behold beneath these embers? Abone, by all that is horrible! Perhaps part of the skeleton of some hysterical innocent, or some pathetic count, who was murdered centuries ago in the haunted apartment of this mysterious castle. Interesting relic! Speak, Lady Cherubina. Is it as I suspect?'
'Why,' said I, 'I believe—that is to say—for aught I can tell——'
''Pon my conscience,' cried Jerry, 'her ladyship knows just as well as I do that 'tis nothing but the blade-bone of mutton which she got broiled for her supper last night.'
'Impossible, Sir!' exclaimed his lordship. 'A heroine never eats of a four-footed animal. 'Tis always the leg of a lark, or the wing of a chicken.' And so saying, he began divesting himself of his spear, shield, and helmet.
'Pray, Mr. Blunderer,' whispered I to Jerry, 'did I not desire you to clean out the room?'
'You did not say a word about the blade-bone,' said Jerry.
'But did I not bid you clean out the room?' repeated I.
'Don't I tell you——' cried Jerry.
'Can't you speak low?' said I.
'Don't I tell you that not one syllable about the blade-bone ever came outside your lips?'
'Grant me patience!' said I. 'Answer me yes or no. Did I, or did I not, order you to clean out the room?'
'Now bad luck to me,' said he, 'if you ant all this time confounding the blade-bone of mutton with the leg of mutton that you bade me put under the bed. And accordingly——'
'Gracious goodness!' said I, 'can't you speak within your breath?'
'And accordingly,' whispered he, 'I put it under the velvet pall, because I thought it might be seen under the bed.'
'Well, that shewedsomediscretion,' said I.
'Though after all my pains,' said Jerry, 'there is the man in the tin cloaths has just stripped down that same pall, and discovered the mutton, and the parsnips, and the bag of salt, and the pewter spoons, and——'
'Oh, Jerry, Jerry!' said I, dropping my arms lifeless at my sides; 'after that, I give you up!'
I then called to his lordship, and drew off his attention, by beginning an account of all that had happened since our parting. He listened with great eagerness; and, after my recital, begged of the warden to retire with him, that they might consult on the best line of policy to be adopted in the present state of my affairs.
They descended the steps; I remained alone. Montmorenci had left his helmet, shield, and spear behind. I pressed each of them to my heart, heaved several sighs, and paced the chamber. Still I felt that I was not half fervent or tender enough; something was still wanting, and I had just asked myself if that something could be love, when I heard a sudden disturbance below; his lordship crying out, 'Oh, what shall I do?' and Jerry bidding him 'grin and bear it.'
Down I hastened, and beheld Jerry belabouring him without mercy.
'Wretch,' cried I, rushing between them: 'forbear.'
'Not till I beat him to a paste,' cried Jerry. 'The villain, to go and offer me a bribe if I would help him in forcing you to marry him.'
''Tis false as hell!' cried his lordship.
'I would stake my life that it is,' said I. 'So now, Mr. Sullivan, down on your knees this moment, and ask pardon, or quit my service.'
'But can that restore the teeth he has knocked out?' exclaimed his lordship, with a finger in his mouth.
'Teeth!' cried I, shuddering.
'Two teeth,' said he.
'Two teeth!' exclaimed I, faintly.
'Two front teeth,' said he.
'Then all is over!' muttered I. 'Matters have taken a dreadful turn.'
'What do you mean?' cried he.
'My lord,' said I, 'are you quite, quite certain that you have lost them?'
'See yourself,' cried he, lifting his lip. 'They are gone, gone for ever!'
'They are indeed,' said I. 'And now you may be gone too.'
'Ha! what mean you?' cried he.
'My lord,' said I, 'of this you must be conscious, that a complete set of teeth are absolutely indispensible to a hero.'
'Well?' cried he, starting.
'Well,' said I, 'having lost two of your's, you must be conscious that you are no longer a hero.'
'You stretch my heart-strings!' cried he. 'Speak! what hideous whim is this?'
'No whim, my lord,' answered I; 'but principle, and founded on law heroic; founded on that law, which rejects as heroes, the maimed, the blind, the deformed, and the crippled. Trust me, my good lord, teeth are just as necessary in the formation of a hero as a comb.'
'By Heaven!' cried he; 'I can get other teeth at a dentist's; a composition of paste that would amaze you. I can by all that is just.'
'That you may, my lord,' said I, 'and be happy with them; for never can you be happy with me.'
'I am wilder than madness itself!' cried he; 'I am more desperate than despair! I will fly to the ends of the earth, hide in a cavern, and throw my ideas into a sonnet. On a fine summer's evening, when you walk towards the mountains, sometimes think of me.'
'Never as a lover, my lord,' said I: 'so put that out of your head at once. Oh! it shocks me to think I should ever have received you as one!'
He began a tremendous imprecation; but was interrupted by the sudden arrival of a gentleman on horseback with a servant after him. The gentleman stopped, alighted, approached.
'Mr. Betterton!' cried I; 'can it be possible?'
'Nothing is impossible,' said he, with his obsequious bow and confirmed smile, 'when the charming Cherubina prompts our efforts. You remember you left me in a ridiculous dilemma, which your friend Stuart contrived;—masterpiece of ingenuity, faith, and for which I freely forgive him: he's an excellent young fellow; excellent, 'pon my soul; and I have made my friends so merry with an account of that affair. Well, I remained in limbo till the sessions, when none appearing to prosecute, the judge discharged me; so the first use I made of my liberty was to visit Lady Gwyn, who told me that I should find you here; here therefore I am to pay you my devoirs.'
I thanked him, and then bade Jerry run towards the village, and hurry my vassals; as the castle lost much of its pomp without them.
Jerry went: my visitors recognized each other; and already their hostile feelings and opposite interests had began to manifest themselves, when, to my great surprise, three men turned short round the western tower, and stood before me.
'That is she!' cried one of them.
I looked at the speaker, and recognized in him the postilion who had brought down the barouche.
'Your name is Cherry Wilkinson,' said another of them to me.
'Sir,' said I, haughtily: 'my name is Lady Cherubina de Willoughby.'
'That is yourtravellingname,' rejoined he: 'but your real name I discovered at your lodgings in Drury-Lane; which lodgings I found out from the wife of one Jerry Sullivan, the man that conspired with you to swindle Mr. Perrot, the coach-maker, out of the barouche yonder. You see, I have the whole story; so you need not deny it; and now, Miss, look at this warrant. I arrest you, in the king's name, for the most audacious piece of swindling that ever came in my way to know.'
With these words he seized me, and was dragging me from the castle, while I screamed for help.
'A rescue! a rescue!' cried Betterton, and collared the man who held me. Montmorenci laid hold of the other, and the servant felled the postilion to the ground. And now a furious fight began. The man whom Betterton had seized drew a pistol and fired it: at this moment, down came the minstrel from the turret; I got loose and ran into the castle, nor ventured to look again, till, after much uproar, I heard a shout of victory from my friends: then venturing to the gateway, I saw the three wretches limping from the place, in piteous plight.
It now appeared that the ball aimed at Betterton had just grazed the fleshy part of his servant's arm, which was bleeding a good deal. I felt much shocked, and assisted him in binding the wound. This matter employed some minutes, and during that time, I could perceive Betterton and Montmorenci whispering earnestly together.
At last Betterton addressed me thus:
'Now, Lady Cherubina, should we remain here much longer, we shall certainly be seized and imprisoned for having assaulted his majesty's officers in the discharge of their duty. We have, therefore, nothing for it but flight. My house is but a few miles distant, and as these officers could not have known me, we shall be perfectly safe there. What says your ladyship? Shall we repair thither?'
'Sir,' answered I; 'as I was not concerned in that assault, and as I am innocent of the crime for which they came to take me, nothing shall induce me to quit my castle: if they chuse to make another attempt, I shall go with them, establish my innocence, and return triumphant. But if I am to act on the skulking system, how can I reside here at all?'
Montmorenci now joined his entreaties, but I remained immoveable. Again they retired to consult, and again came forward.
'Lady Cherubina,' said Betterton, 'you must excuse me when I say that both Lord Montmorenci (for his lordship has just disclosed to me his noble lineage) and myself conceive ourselves fully warranted in compelling, if we cannot persuade your ladyship, to leave this castle (where we cannot remain to protect you), and in conveying you to my mansion, where you will be safe.'
'Compel me?' cried I. 'Compel me? But I disdain to hold farther parley with you. Farewell for ever. Minstrel, follow me to the Black Chamber.'
'Stop them!' cried Betterton.
His lordship placed himself between us and the gateway: the minstrel, brandishing his collected knuckles, struck him to the ground. Betterton assailed my brave defender behind, the servant before; but he fought with desperation, and his blow was like the kick of a horse. Still numbers appeared about to prevail; and now his breathing grew shorter, and his blow slower, when, transport to my sight! I beheld Jerry, with several of my vassals, come running towards us. They reached us: the tide of battle turns, and his lordship and the servant are well beaten with bludgeons; while Jerry himself does the honours to Betterton, in a kicking.
Nobody could bear it more gently than he did; and after it was over, he mounted his horse and vociferated:
'Now, by all that is sacred, I will go this moment, raise the neighbourhood, and have you driven from your nest, you set of vipers;—you common nuisances, you! Lady Gwyn's castle shall no longer be made the receptacle of ragged and marauding Irishmen.'
So saying, off he gallopped on one horse, and his lordship on another; while the servant trudged on foot.
We now held a grand council of war, for affairs began to wear an alarming aspect. If Betterton should put his threat of raising the neighbourhood into execution, a most formidable force might be collected against us. After much deliberation, therefore, it was decided, that some of the vassals should be dispatched to collect more of their countrymen, who, they said, slept in several adjoining villages. I too wrote a note to Susan, begging that she would raise a counterposse in my favour, and rescue me from an implacable enemy, as I had rescued her from a criminal and fatal attachment. This note I sent to her cottage by one of my vassals.
During this awful interval, the remainder of those who had been with me yesterday arrived. I planted sentinels and outposts, and employed the rest in filling up the windows with stones, repairing the breaches, and searching amidst the rubbish for the mouth of some subterranean cavern, where I might conceal myself in the last emergency.
As I had not a white and azure standard, like Beatrice, I directed Jerry to stain a large piece of muslin with the blood of the wounded servant, which still besprinkled the grass; then to fasten it on a long pole, and hoist it, as my banner, at an angle of the eastern turret.
Susan's cottage being only half a mile from the castle, the messenger soon returned with an answer, that she would certainly assemble her friends, and come to me. Just as he had announced these happy tidings, another came back, with a fresh accession of ten Irishmen; and in a short time more arrived; till at length we mustered to the amount of fifty.
I stood, and gloried in my strength. Already I beheld the foundation of a feudal settlement. Already I considered myself the restorer of that chivalric age, when neighbouring barons were deadly foes, and their sons and daughters clandestine lovers. Ah! what times for a heroine! it was then that the Lady Buccleugh and the Duchess of Cleves flourished.
'And these,' cried I, in an ecstasy of enthusiasm, 'these shall again revive in the person of Lady Cherubina De Willoughby!'
As I spoke, Jerry came to tell me that one of the scouts had just returned with information of his having seen a large party of Lady Gwyn's tenants assembling about a quarter of a mile off; in order, as he found on inquiry, to drive us from the castle.
Now then was approaching the most important moment of my life, and I resolved to support my part with dignity. As the first step, I dressed myself in a style of magnificence suited to the occasion. Having flung the drapery of embroidered gauze over my white muslin, I next (in imitation of ancient heroines, who wore armour in the day of battle), put Montmorenci's helmet on my head; then, with his shield in the one hand, and his spear in the other, never did I look so lovely.
I now called up the warden, and constituted him commander of the forces; then ordered him to send six picked men, and the minstrel, as my body-guards, up to the Black Chamber.
They came; I equipped them in black cloaks and feathers, and made them mount to the top of the tower. In a few minutes afterwards I myself ascended with a beating heart. There I found the preparations for battle almost completed. The bloody standard was streaming to the gale; the body-guards were collecting a heap of stones from the broken parapet; while beneath the turret I beheld the whole of my troops, with oaken staffs, marshalled in awful array. The spectacle was grand and imposing. Lightly I leaned on my spear; and while my feathered casque pressed my ringlets, and my purfled drapery floated and glistened in the sun, I stood on the battlements, mildly sublime, sweetly stern, amiable in arms, and adorned with all the terrible graces of beauty belligerent.
I now resolved to harangue my men for the purpose of encouraging them, and of attaching them to my person; but as I knew nothing of political orations, I had nothing for it but to copy the speech of Beatrice in the Knights of the Swan; and those that I had read in the daily prints.
A profound silence prevailed; I waved my spear, and thus began.
'My brave associates, partners of my toil, my feelings and my fame! Two days have I now been sovereign of this castle, and I hope I may flatter myself that I have added to its prosperity. Young, and without experience, I merely claim the merit of blameless sentiments and intentions.
'Threatened with a barbarous incursion from my deadliest enemies, I have deemed it indispensible to collect a faithful band of vassals for my defence. They have come at my call, and I thank them.
'I promise to them all such laws and institutions as shall secure their happiness. I will acknowledge the majesty of the people. (Applause.) I will give to them a full, fair, and free representation. (Applause.) And I will grant to them a radical reform; or in other words, a revival of the feudal system. (Shouts of applause.) I will assume no monarchial prerogatives that are unjust; if I should, do not forget that the people have always the power and the right to depose a tyrant.
'I promise that there shall be no dilapidated hopes and resources; no army of mercenaries, no army of spies, no inquisition of private property, no degraded aristocracy, no oppressed people, no confiding parliament, no irresponsible minister. (Acclamation.) In short, I promise every thing. (Thunders of acclamation.)
'Each man shall have an acre of ground, a cottage, and an annual salary. (Long life to you! cried the troops. That is the best thing you have said!) Such is the constitution, such are the privileges that I propound to you. Now then, my brave fellows, will you consent on these conditions to rally round my standard, to live in my service, and to die in my defence? (We will! we will! cried they.)
'Thank you, my generous followers; and the crisis is just approaching when I shall have occasion for your most strenuous exertions. Already my mortal foe prepares to storm my castle, and drive me from my hereditary domain. Already he has excited my own tenantry to sedition against me. Should he succeed in his atrocious object, I must return to my tears, and you to your sickles. But should we repel him, my government will be secured, my territory perhaps enlarged, my castle rebuilt; and the cause of liberty will triumph. What heart but throbs, what voice but shouts, at the name of liberty? (Huzza!) Is there a man amongst you who would refuse to lay down his life for liberty? (Huzza!) And if, on an important occasion like the present, I might take the liberty—(Huzza!) to dictate, I would demand of you this day to sacrifice every earthly consideration in her sacred cause. I do demand it of you, my friends. I call upon your feelings, your principles, and your policy, to discard family, property, and life, in a cause so just, so wise, and so glorious. Let eye, foot, heart, hand, be firm, be stern, be valiant, be invincible!'
I ceased, the soldiery tore the blue air with acclamations, and the ravens overhead flew swifter at the sound.
I now found that it was not difficult to make a popular speech; and I judged that the same qualities which have made me so good a heroine, would, if I were a man, have made me just as illustrious a patriot.
After much entreaty, I persuaded the minstrel to deliver an address; as he, being learned, might expound constitutions and political economy better than I. He therefore leaned over the battlements, and began.