What happened to Sancho Panza as he went the rounds in his island.
Weleft our mighty governor much out of humour with that saucy knave of a countryman, who, according to the instructionshe had received from the steward, and the steward from the duke, had bantered his worship with his impertinence. Yet, as much a dunce and fool as he was, he made his party good against them all. At last, addressing himself to those about him, among whom was Dr. Pedro Rezio, who had ventured into the room again: "Now," said he, "do I find in good earnest that judges and governors must be made of brass, that they may be proof against the importunities of those that pretend business; who, at all hours and at all seasons, would be heard and despatched, without any regard to any body but themselves. Now if a poor judge does not hear and despatch them presently, either because he is otherwise busy and cannot, or because they do not come at a proper season, then do they grumble, and give him their blessing backwards, rake up the ashes of his forefathers, and would gnaw his very bones. But with your leave, good Mr. Busybody, with all your business, you are too hasty; pray have a little patience, and wait a fit time to make your application. Do not come at dinner-time, or when a man is going to sleep; for we judges are flesh and blood, and must allow nature what she naturally requires; unless it be poor I, who am not to allow mine any food; thanks to my friend Mr. Dr. Pedro Rezio Tirteafuera, here present, who is for starving me to death, and then vows it is for the preservation of my life."
All that knew Sancho wondered to hear him talk so sensibly, and began to think that offices and places of trust inspired some men with understanding, as they stupified and confounded others. However, Dr. Pedro promised him he should sup that night, though he trespassed against all the rules of Hippocrates. This pacified the governor, and made him wait with a mighty impatience for the evening. To his thinking, the hour was so long coming that he fancied time stood still; but yet at last the wished-for moment came, and they served him up some minced beef with onions, and some calves-feet, somewhat stale. The hungry governor presently fell to with more eagerness and appetite than if they had given him Roman pheasants or Lavajos geese. And after he had pretty well taken off the sharp edge of his stomach, turning to the physician, "Look you," quoth he, "Mr. Doctor, hereafter never trouble yourself to get me dainties or tit-bits to humour my stomach; that would but take it quite off the hinges, by reason it has been used to nothing but good beef, bacon, pork, goats-flesh, turnips, and onions; and if you ply me with your kick-shaws, your nice courtiers' fare, it will but make my stomach squeamish and untoward, and I should perfectly loathe them one time or another. However, I shall not take it amiss, if Master Sewer will now and then get me one of those olla podridas (and the stronger they are the better), where all sorts of good things are stewed, and, as it were, lost in one another; and I shall remember him, and make him amends one ofthese days. But let nobody put tricks upon travellers, and make a fool of me; for either we are or we are not. Let us be merry and wise; when God sends his light, he sends it to all. I will govern this island fair and square, without underhand dealings or taking of bribes; but take notice, I will not bate an inch of my right; and therefore let every one carry an even hand, and mind their hits, or else I would have them to know there are rods in pickle for them. They that urge me too far shall rue for it: make yourself honey, and the flies will eat you." "Indeed, my lord governor," said the steward, "your lordship is much in the right in all you have said; and I dare engage for the inhabitants of this island, that they will obey and observe your commands with diligence, love, and punctuality; for your gentle way of governing, in the beginning of your administration, does not give them the least opportunity to act or to design any thing to your lordship's disadvantage." "I believe as much," answered Sancho, "and they would be silly wretches, should they offer to do or think otherwise. Let me tell you too, it is my pleasure you take care of me and my Dapple, that we may both have our food as we ought, which is the most material business. Next let us think of going the rounds, when it is time for me to do so; for I intend to clear this island of all filth and rubbish, of all rogues and vagrants, idle fellows, and sturdy beggars. For I would have you to know, my good friends, that your slothful, lazy, lewd people in a commonwealth, are like drones in a bee-hive, that waste and devour the honey which the labouring bees gather. I design to encourage the husbandmen, preserve the privileges of the gentry, reward virtuous persons; and, above all things, reverence religion, and have regard to the honour of religious men. What think you of this, my good friends? Do I talk to the purpose, or do I talk idly?" "You speak so well, my lord governor," answered the steward, "that I stand in admiration to hear you utter so many notable things, and in every word a sentence; far from what they who have sent you hither, and they who are here present, ever expected from your understanding. But every day produces some new wonder; jests are turned into earnest, and those who designed to laugh at others happen to be laughed at themselves."
It being now night, and the governor having supped, he prepared to walk the rounds; and set forward, attended by the steward, the secretary, the gentleman-waiter, the historiographer (who was to register his acts), several sergeants, and other limbs of the law; so many in number that they made a little battalion, in the middle of which the great Sancho marched with his rod of justice in his hand, in a notable manner. They had not walked far before they heard the clashing of swords, which made them hasten to the place whence the noise came. Being come thither, they found only two men fighting, who gave over on perceivingthe officers. "What," cried one of them at the same time, "do they suffer folks to be robbed in the town, in defiance of Heaven and the king; do they let men be stripped in the middle of the street?" "Hold, honest man," said Sancho; "have a little patience, and let me know the occasion of this fray, for I am the governor." "My lord," said the other party, "I will tell you in a few words. Your lordship must know that this gentleman, just now, at a gaming-ordinary over the way, won above a thousand reals; I stood by all the while, and gave judgment for him in more than one doubtful cast, though I could not well tell how to do it in conscience. He carried off his winnings; and when I expected he would have given me a crown gratuity, up he got, and went away without giving me any thing. I ran after him, not very well pleased with his proceeding, yet very civilly desired him to consider I was his friend; that he knew me to be a gentleman, though fallen to decay, that had nothing to live upon, my friends having brought me up to no employment; and therefore I entreated him to be so kind as to give me eight reals; but the stingy soul would give me but four sneaking reals. And now, my lord, you may see how little shame and conscience there is in him. But had not your lordship come just in the nick, I would have made him disgorge his winnings, and taught him the difference between a rook and a jackdaw." "What say you to this?" cried Sancho to the other. The other made answer, "That he could not deny what his antagonist had said, that he would give him but four reals, because he had given him money several times before; and they who expect benevolence should be mannerly, and be thankful for what is given them, without haggling with those that have won, unless they know them to be common cheats, and the money not won fairly; and that to shew he was a fair gamester, and no sharper, as the other said, there needed no better proof than his refusal to give him any thing, since the sharpers are always in fee with these bully-rocks, who know them, and wink at their cheats." "That is true," said the steward. "Now what would your lordship have us to do with these men?" "I will tell you," said Sancho: "first, you that are the winner, whether by fair play or by foul, give your bully-back here a hundred reals immediately, and thirty more for the poor prisoners; and you that have nothing to live on, and were brought up to no employment, and go sharping up and down from place to place, pray take your hundred reals, and be sure by to-morrow to go out of this island, and not to set foot in it again these ten years and a day, unless you have a mind to make an end of your banishment in another world; for if I find you here, I will make you swing on a gibbet, with the help of the hangman. Away, and let no body offer to reply, or I will lay him by the heels." Thereupon the one disbursed, and the other received; the first went home, and the last went out of the island;and then the governor, going on, "Either I shall want of my will," said he, "or I will put down these disorderly gaming-houses; for I have a fancy they are highly prejudicial." One of the officers now came holding a youth, and having brought him before the governor, "If it please your worship," said he, "this young man was coming towards us, but as soon as he perceived it was the rounds, he sheered off, and set a-running as fast as his legs would carry him—a sign he is no better than he should be." "What made you run away, friend?" said Sancho. "Sir," answered the young man, "it was only to avoid the questions one is commonly teased with by the watch." "What business do you follow?" asked Sancho. "I am a weaver by trade," answered the other. "A weaver of what?" asked the governor. "Of steel-heads for lances, with your worship's good leave," said the other. "Oh, oh," cried Sancho, "you are a wag I find, and pretend to pass your jests upon us. Very well. And pray whither are you going at this time of night?" "To take the air, if it like your worship," answered the other. "Good," said Sancho; "and where do they take the air in this island?" "Where it blows," said the youth. "A very proper answer," cried Sancho. "You are a very pretty impudent fellow, that is the truth of it. But pray make account that I am the air, or the wind, which you please, and that I will blow you to the round-house. Here, take him and carry him away thither directly; I will take care the youngster shall sleep out of the air to-night; he might catch cold else by lying abroad." "You shall as soon make me a king," said the young man, "as make me sleep out of the air to-night." "Why, you young slip-string," said Sancho, "is it not in my power to commit thee to prison, and fetch thee out again as often as it is my will and pleasure?" "For all your power," answered the fellow, "you shall not make me sleep in prison." "Say you so!" cried Sancho; "here, away with him to prison, and let him see to his cost who is mistaken, he or I; and, lest the jailor should be greased in the fist to let him out, I will fine him in two thousand ducats if he let thee stir a foot out of prison." "All that is a jest," said the other; "for I defy all mankind to make me sleep this night in a prison." "Hast thou some angel," said Sancho, "to take off the irons which I will have thee clapped in, and get thee out?" "Well now, my good lord governor," said the young man very pleasantly, "let us talk reason, and come to the point. Suppose your lordship should send me to jail, and get me laid by the heels in the dungeon, shackled and manacled, and lay a heavy penalty on the jailor in case he let me out; and suppose your orders be strictly obeyed; yet for all that, if I have no mind to sleep, but will keep awake all night, without so much as shutting my eyes, pray can you, with all the power you have, make me sleep whether I will or no?" "No certainly," said the secretary; "and the young manhas made out his meaning." "Well," said Sancho, "but I hope you mean to keep yourself awake, and only forbear sleeping to please your own fancy, and not to thwart my will?" "I mean nothing else indeed, my lord," said the lad. "Why then, go home and sleep," quoth Sancho, "and Heaven send thee good rest; I will not be thy hindrance. But have a care another time of sporting with justice; for you may meet with some in office that may chance to break your head, while you are breaking your jest." The youth went his way, and the governor continued his rounds.
A while after came two of the officers, bringing a person along with them. "My lord governor," said one of them, "we have brought here one that is dressed like a man, yet is no man, but a woman, and no ugly one neither." Thereupon they lifted up to her eyes two or three lanterns, and by their light discovered the face of a woman about sixteen years of age, beautiful to admiration, with her hair put up in a network caul of gold and green silk. Sancho was surprised at her beauty, and asked her who she was, whither she was going, and upon what account she had put on such a dress. "Sir," said she, casting her eyes on the ground with a decent bashfulness, "I cannot tell you before so many people what I have so much reason to wish may be kept a secret. Only this one thing I do assure you, I am no thief, nor evil-minded person, but an unhappy maid, whom the force of jealousy has constrained to transgress the laws of decorum." The steward hearing this, "My lord governor," said he, "be pleased to order your attendants to retire, that the gentlewoman may more freely tell her mind." The governor did accordingly; and all the company removed to a distance, except the steward, the gentleman-waiter, and the secretary; and then the young lady thus proceeded:
"I am the daughter of Pedro Perez Mazorca, farmer of the wool in this town, who comes very often to my father's house." "This will hardly pass, madam," said the steward; "for I know Pedro Perez very well, and he has neither son nor daughter; besides, you tell us he is your father, and yet that he comes very often to your father's house." "I observed as much," said Sancho. "Indeed, gentlemen," said she, "I am now so troubled in mind, that I know not what I say; but the truth is, I am the daughter of Diego de la Llana, whom I suppose you all know." "Now this may pass," said the steward; "for I know Diego de la Llana, who is a very considerable gentleman, has a good estate, and a son and a daughter. But since his wife died, nobody in this town can say he ever saw that daughter; for he keeps her so close, that he hardly suffers the sun to look on her; though indeed the common report is, that she is an extraordinary beauty." "You say very true, sir," replied the young lady; "and I am that very daughter. As for my beauty, if fame hasgiven you a wrong character of it, you will now be undeceived, since you have seen my face;" and with this she burst out into tears. The secretary, perceiving this, whispered the gentleman-waiter in the ear: "Sure," said he, "some extraordinary matter must have happened to this poor young lady, since it could oblige one of her quality to come out of doors in this disguise." "That is without question," answered the other; "for her tears, too, confirm the suspicion." Sancho comforted her with the best reasons he could think on, and bid her not be afraid, but tell them what had befallen her.
"You must know, gentlemen," said she, "that it is now ten years that my father has kept me close—ever since my mother died. We have a small chapel in the house, where we hear mass; and in all that time I have seen nothing but the sun by day, and the moon and stars by night; neither do I know what streets, squares, market-places, and churches are; no, nor men, except my father, my brother, and that Pedro Perez the wool-farmer, whom I at first would have passed upon you for my father. This confinement (not being allowed to stir abroad, though but to go to church) has made me uneasy this great while, and made me long to see the world, or at least the town where I was born, which I thought was no unlawful or unseemly desire. When I heard them talk of feasts, prizes, acting of plays, and other public sports, I asked my brother, who is a year younger than I, what they meant by those things, and a world of others, which I have not seen; and he informed me as well as he could; but that made me but the more eager to be satisfied by my own eyes. In short, I begged of my brother—I wish I never had done it——" And here she relapsed into tears. The steward perceiving it, "Come, madam," said he, "pray proceed, and make an end of telling us what has happened to you; for your words and your tears keep us all in suspense." "I have but few more words to add," answered she, "but many more tears to shed; for they are commonly the fruit of such imprudent desires."
Thereupon, with broken sobs and half-fetched sighs, "Sir," said she, "all my misfortune is, that I desired my brother to lend me some of his clothes, and that he would take me out some night or other to see all the town, while our father was asleep. Importuned by my entreaties, he consented; and, having lent me his clothes, he put on mine, which fit him as if they had been made for him. So this very night, about an hour ago, we got out; and being guided by my father's footboy, and our own unruly desires, we took a ramble over the whole town; and as we were going home, we perceived a great number of people coming our way; whereupon said my brother, 'Sister, this is certainly the watch; follow me, and let us not only run, but fly as fast as we can; for if we should be known, it will be the worse for us.' With that, he fell a-running as fast as if he had wings to his feet.I fell a-running too; but was so frightened, that I fell down before I had gone half-a-dozen steps; and then a man overtook me, and brought me before you and this crowd of people, by whom, to my shame, I am taken for an ill creature—a bold, indiscreet night-walker." All this was afterwards confirmed by her brother, who was now brought by some of the watch, one of whom had at last overtaken him, after he had left his sister. He had nothing on but a very rich petticoat, and a blue damask manteau, with a gold galloon; his head without any ornament but his own hair, that hung down in natural curls like so many rings of gold. The governor, the steward, and the gentleman-waiter took him aside; and after they had examined him apart, why he had put on that dress, he gave the same answer his sister had done, and with no less bashfulness and concern; much to the satisfaction of the gentleman-waiter, who was much smitten with the young lady's charms.
As for the governor, after he had heard the whole matter, "Truly, gentlefolks," said he, "here is a little piece of childish folly; and to give an account of this wild frolic and slip of youth, there needed not all these sighs and tears, nor those hems, and ha's, and long excuses. Could not you, without any more ado, have said our names are so and so, and we stole out of our father's house for an hour or two, only to ramble about the town, and satisfy a little curiosity; and there had been an end of the story, without all this weeping and wailing?" "You say very well," said the young damsel; "but you may imagine that, in the trouble and fright I was in, I could not behave myself as I should have done." "Well," said Sancho, "there is no harm done; go along with us, and we will see you home to your father's; perhaps you may not yet be missed. But have a care how you gad abroad to see fashions another time. Do not be too venturesome; an honest maid should be still at home, as if she had one leg broken. A hen and a woman are lost by rambling; and she that longs to see, longs also to be seen. I need say no more."
The young gentleman thanked the governor for his civility, and then went home under his conduct. Being come to the house, the young spark threw a little stone against one of the iron-barred windows; and presently a maid-servant, who sat up for them, came down, opened the door, and let him and his sister in.
The governor, with his company, then continued his rounds, talking all the way as they went of the genteel carriage and beauty of the brother and sister, and the great desire these poor children had to see the world by night.
As for the gentleman-waiter, he was so passionately in love, that he resolved to go the next day and demand her of her father in marriage, not doubting but the old gentleman would comply with him, as he was one of the duke's principal servants. On the other side, Sancho had a great mind to strike a match betweenthe young man and his daughter Sanchica; and he resolved to bring it about as soon as possible—believing no man's son could think himself too good for a governor's daughter.
Which narrates the success of the page that carried Sancho's letter to his wife.
Theduchess, having a great desire to continue the merriment which Don Quixote's extravagances afforded them, the page that acted the part of Dulcinea in the wood was despatched away to Teresa Panza with a letter from her husband (for Sancho, having his head full of his government, had quite forgotten to do it); and at the same time the duchess sent another from herself, with a large costly string of coral as a present.
Now the page was a sharp and ingenious lad; and being very desirous to please his lord and lady, made the best of his way to Sancho's village. When he came near the place, he saw a company of females washing at a brook, and asked them whether they could inform him if there lived not in that town a woman whose name was Teresa Panza, wife to one Sancho Panza, squire to a knight called Don Quixote de la Mancha? He had no sooner asked the question, than a young girl that was washing among the rest stood up: "Teresa Panza is my mother," quoth she; "that gaffer Sancho is my own father, and that same knight our master." "Well, then, damsel," said the page, "pray go along with me, and bring me to your mother; for I have a letter and a token here for her from your father." "That I will, with all my heart, sir," said the girl, who seemed to be about fourteen years of age; and with that, leaving the clothes she was washing to one of her companions, without staying to dress her head or put on her shoes, away she sprung before the page's horse, barelegged, and with her hair about her ears. "Come along, if it please you," quoth she; "our house is hard by; it is but just as you come into the town; and my mother is at home, but brimful of sorrow, poor soul; for she has not heard from my father, I do not know how long." "Well," said the page, "I bring her tidings that will cheer her heart, I warrant her." At last, what with leaping, running, and jumping, the girl being come to the house, "Mother, mother," cried she, as loud as she could, before she went in, "come out, mother—come out; here is a gentleman has brought letters from my father!" At that summons, out came the mother, spinning a lock of coarse flax, with a russet petticoat about her, a waistcoat of the same, and her smock hanging loose about it. Take her otherwise, she was none of the oldest, but lookedsomewhat turned of forty—strong-built, sinewy, hale, vigorous, and in good case. "What is the matter, girl?" quoth she, seeing her daughter with the page; "what gentleman is that?" "A servant of your ladyship's, my Lady Teresa Panza," answered the page; and at the same time alighting, and throwing himself at her feet, "My noble Lady Donna Teresa," said he, "permit me the honour to kiss your ladyship's hand, as you are the wife of my Lord Don Sancho Panza, governor of the island of Barataria." "Alack-a-day!" quoth Teresa, "what do you do? I am none of your court-dames; but a poor, silly, country body, a ploughman's daughter,—the wife, indeed, of a squire-errant, but no governor." "Your ladyship," replied the page, "is the most worthy wife of a thrice-worthy governor; and for proof of what I say, be pleased to receive this letter and this present." With that, he took out of his pocket a string of coral beads, set in gold, and putting it about her neck, "This letter," said he, "is from his honour the governor; and another that I have for you, together with these beads, are from her grace the lady duchess, who sends me now to your ladyship."
Teresa stood amazed, and her daughter was transported. "Now," quoth the young baggage, "if our master, Don Quixote, be not at the bottom of this. He has given my father that same government or earldom he has promised him so many times." "You say right," answered the page; "it is for the Lord Don Quixote's sake that the Lord Sancho is now governor of the island of Barataria." "Good sir," quoth Teresa, "read it me, if it like your worship; for though I can spin, I cannot read a jot." "Nor I neither," cried Sanchica; "but do but stay a little, and I will go fetch one that shall, either the bachelor Sampson Carrasco, or our parson himself, who will come with all their hearts to hear the news of my father." "You may spare yourself the trouble," said the page; "for though I cannot spin, yet I can read; and I will read it to you." With that he read the letter, which is now omitted, because it has been inserted before. That done, he pulled out another from the duchess, which runs as follows:
"Friend Teresa,
"Your husband Sancho's good parts, his wit and honesty, obliged me to desire the duke, my husband, to bestow on him the government of one of his islands. I am informed he is as sharp as a hawk in his office, for which I am very glad, as well as my lord duke, and return Heaven many thanks that I have not been deceived in making choice of him for that preferment; for you must know, Sigñora Teresa, it is a difficult thing to meet with a good governor in this world.
"I have sent you, my dear friend, a string of coral beads, setin gold; I could wish they were oriental pearls for your sake; but a small token may not hinder a great one. The time will come when we shall be better acquainted; and when we have conversed together, who knows what may come to pass?
"I understand you have fine large acorns in your town; pray send me a dozen or two of them; I shall set a greater value upon them as coming from your hands. And pray let me have a good long letter, to let me know how you do; and if you have occasion for any thing, it is but ask and have.
"Your loving friend,
"The Duchess.
"From this castle."
"Ah!" quoth Teresa, when she had heard the letter, "what a good lady is this! not a bit of pride in her! Let me be buried with such ladies, and not with such proud madams as we have in our town; who, because they are gentlefolks, forsooth, think the wind must not blow on them, but come flaunting to church as stately as if they were queens. It seems they think it scorn to look upon a poor countrywoman. But, la you! here is a good lady, who, though she be a duchess, calls me her friend, and uses me as if I were as high as herself. Well, may I see her as high as the highest steeple in the whole country! As for the acorns she writes for, I will send her good ladyship a whole peck, and such swinging acorns, that every body shall come to admire them far and near. And now, Sanchica, see that the gentleman be made welcome, and want for nothing. Take care of his horse. Run to the stable; get some eggs; cut some bacon: he shall fare like a prince. The rare news he has brought me, and his good looks, deserve no less. Meanwhile, I must run and tell my neighbours the news. Our good curate, too, shall know it, and Mr. Nicholas the barber; for they have all along been thy father's friends." "Ay, do, mother," said the daughter; "but, hark you, you must give me half the beads; for, I daresay, the great lady knows better things than to give them all to you." "It is all thy own, child," cried the mother; "but let me wear it a few days about my neck, for thou canst not think how it rejoices the very heart of me." "You will rejoice more presently," said the page, "when you see what I have got in my portmanteau; a fine suit of green cloth, which the governor wore but one day a-hunting, and has here sent to my Lady Sanchica."
Presently, away ran Teresa, with the beads about her neck, and the letters in her hand, all the while playing with her fingers on the papers, as if they had been a timbrel; and meeting, by chance, the curate and the bachelor Carrasco, she fell a-dancing and frisking about. "Faith and troth," cried she, "we are all made now. We have got a little thing called a 'government.'And now, let the proudest of them all toss up her nose at me, and I will give her as good as she brings. I will make her know her distance." "How now, Teresa?" said the curate; "what mad fit is this? what papers are these in your hand?" "No mad fit at all," answered Teresa; "but these are letters from duchesses and governors, and these beads about my neck are right coral, the Ave-marias I mean, and the Paternosters are of beaten gold; and I am a governor's lady, I assure you." "Verily," said the curate, "there is no understanding you, Teresa; we do not know what you mean." "There is what will clear the riddle," quoth Teresa; and with that she gave them the letters. Thereupon, the curate having read them aloud, that Sampson Carrasco might also be informed, they both stood and looked on one another, and were more at a loss than before. The bachelor asked her who brought the letter? Teresa told them it was a sweet, handsome, young man, as fine as anything; and that he had brought her another present worth twice as much. The curate took the string of beads from her neck, and finding that it was a thing of value, he could not conceive the meaning of all this. "I cannot tell," cried he, "what to think of this business. I am convinced these beads are right coral and gold; but again, here is a duchess sends to beg a dozen or two of acorns." "Crack that nut if you can," said Sampson Carrasco. "But come, let us go to see the messenger, and probably he will clear our doubts."
Thereupon, going with Teresa, they found the page sifting a little corn for his horse, and Sanchica cutting a rasher of bacon, to be fried with eggs, for his dinner. They both liked the page's mien and his garb; and after the usual compliments, Sampson desired him to tell them some news of Don Quixote and Sancho Panza; for though they had read a letter from the latter to his wife, and another from the duchess, they were no better than riddles to them; nor could they imagine how Sancho should come by a government, especially of an island, well knowing that all the islands in the Mediterranean, or the greatest part of them, were the king's.
"Gentlemen," answered the page, "it is a certain truth, that Sigñor Sancho Panza is a governor, but whether it be of an island or not, I do not pretend to determine; but this I can assure you, that he commands in a town that has above a thousand inhabitants. And as for my lady duchess's sending to a countrywoman for a few acorns, that is no such wonder, for she is so free from pride, that I have known her send to borrow a comb of one of her neighbours. You must know, our ladies of Arragon, though they are as noble as those of Castile, do not stand so much upon formalities and punctilios, neither do they take so much state upon them, but treat people with more familiarity."
The curate and the bachelor plainly perceived that the page spoke jestingly; but yet the costly string of beads, and the huntingsuit, which by this time Teresa had let them see, confounded them again. "Then, sir, you assure us still," said Carrasco, "that Sancho is really a governor, and that a duchess sends these presents and letters upon his account; for though we see the things, and read the letters, we can scarce prevail with ourselves to believe it, but are apt to run into our friend Don Quixote's opinion, and look on all this as the effect of some enchantment; so that I could find in my heart to feel and try whether you are merely a visionary messenger or a real creature of flesh and blood."
"For my part, gentlemen," answered the page, "all I can tell you is, that I am really the messenger I appear to be; that the Lord Sancho Panza is actually a governor; and that the duke and the duchess, to whom I belong, are able to give, and have given him that government; where, I am credibly informed, he behaves himself most worthily. Now if there be any enchantment in the matter, I leave you to examine that; for I know no more of the business." "That may be," said the bachelor, "but yetdubitat Augustinus." "You may doubt if you please," replied the page, "but I have told you the truth, which will always prevail over falsehood, and rise uppermost, as oil does above water. But if you willoperibus credere, et non verbis, let one of you go along with me, and you shall see with your eyes, what you will not believe by the help of your ears." "I will go with all my heart," quoth Sanchica; "take me up behind ye, sir; I have a great mind to see my father." "The daughters of governors," said the page, "must not travel thus unattended, but in coaches or litters, and with a handsome train of servants." "Oh," quoth Sanchica, "I can go a journey as well on an ass as in one of your coaches. I am none of your tender squeamish things, not I." "Peace, chicken," quoth the mother, "thou dost not know what thou sayest; the gentleman is in the right: times are altered. When it was plain Sancho, it was plain Sanchica; but now he is a governor, thou art a lady: I cannot well tell whether I am right or no." "My Lady Teresa says more than she is aware of," said the page. "But now," continued he, "give me a mouthful to eat as soon as you can, for I must go back this afternoon." "Be pleased then, sir," said the curate, "to go with me, and partake of a slender meal at my house, for my neighbour Teresa is more willing than able to entertain so good a guest." The page excused himself a while, but at last complied, being persuaded it would be much for the better; and the curate, on his side, was glad of his company, to have an opportunity to inform himself at large about Don Quixote and his proceedings. The bachelor proffered Teresa to write her answers to her letters; but as she looked upon him to be somewhat waggish, she would not permit him to be of her counsel; so she gave a roll and a couple of eggs to a young acolyte of the church who could write,and he wrote two letters for her,—one to her husband, and the other to the duchess, all of her own inditing; and perhaps not the worst in this famous history, as hereafter may be seen.
A continuation of Sancho Panza's government; with other entertaining passages.
Themorning of that day arose which succeeded the governor's round, the remainder of which the gentleman-waiter spent not in sleep, but in the pleasing thoughts of the lovely face and charming grace of the disguised maiden; on the other side, the steward bestowed that time in writing to his lord and lady what Sancho did and said; wondering no less at his actions than at his expressions, both which displayed a strange intermixture of discretion and simplicity.
At last the lord governor was pleased to rise; and by Dr. Pedro Rezio's order, they brought him for his breakfast a little conserve and a draught of fair water, which he would have exchanged with all his heart for a good luncheon of bread and a bunch of grapes; but seeing he could not help himself, he was forced to make the best of a bad market, and seem to be content, though sorely against his will and appetite; for the doctor made him believe that to eat but little, and that which was dainty, enlivened the spirits and sharpened the wit, and consequently such a sort of diet was most proper for persons in authority and weighty employments, wherein there is less need of the strength of the body than that of the mind. This sophistry served to famish Sancho, who, however, hungry as he was, by the strength of his slender breakfast, failed not to give audience that day; and the first that came before him was a stranger, who put the following case to him, the stewards and the rest of the attendants being present:
"My lord," said he, "a large river divides in two parts one and the same lordship. I beg your honour to lend me your attention, for it is a case of great importance and some difficulty. Upon this river there is a bridge, at the one end of which there stands a gallows, and a kind of court of justice, where four judges used to sit for the execution of a certain law made by the lord of the land and river, which runs thus:
"'Whoever intends to pass from one end of this bridge to the other, must first, upon his oath, declare whither he goes, and what his business is. If he swear truth, he may go on; but if he swear false, he shall be hanged, and die without remission upon the gibbet at the end of the bridge.'
"After due promulgation of this law, many people, notwithstanding its severity, adventured to go over this bridge, and as it appeared they swore true, the judges permitted them to pass unmolested. It happened one day that a certain passenger being sworn, declared, that by the oath he had taken, he was come to die upon that gallows, and that was all his business.
"This put the judges to a nonplus; 'for,' said they, 'if we let this man pass freely, he is forsworn, and according to the letter of the law, he ought to die; if we hang him, he has sworn truth, seeing he swore he was to die on that gibbet; and then by the same law we should let him pass.'
"Now your lordship's judgment is desired what the judges ought to do with this man: for they are still at a stand, not knowing what to determine in this case; and having been informed of your sharp wit, and great capacity in resolving difficult questions, they sent me to beseech your lordship, in their names, to give your opinion in so intricate and knotty a case."
"To deal plainly with you," answered Sancho, "those worshipful judges that sent you hither might as well have spared themselves the trouble; for I am more inclined to bluntness, I assure you, than sharpness: however, let me hear your question once more, that I may thoroughly understand it, and perhaps I may at last hit the nail upon the head." The man repeated the question again; and when he had done, "Hark, honest man," said Sancho, "either I am a very dunce, or there is as much reason to put this same person you talk of to death, as to let him live and pass the bridge; for if the truth saves him, the lie condemns him. Now I would have you tell those gentlemen that sent you, since there is as much reason to bring him off as to condemn him, that they even let him go free; for it is always more commendable to do good than hurt. Nor do I speak this of my own head; but I remember one precept, among many others, that my master Don Quixote gave me the night before I came to govern this island, which was, that when the scale of justice is even, or a case is doubtful, we should prefer mercy before rigour; and it has pleased God I should call it to mind so luckily at this juncture."
"For my part," said the steward, "this judgment seems to me so equitable, that I do not believe Lycurgus himself, who gave the laws to the Lacedæmonians, could ever have decided the matter better than the great Sancho has done. And now, sir, sure there is enough done for this morning; be pleased to adjourn the court, and I will give order that your Excellency may dine to your heart's content." "Well said," cried Sancho; "that is all I want, and then a clear stage and no favour. Feed me well, and then ply me with cases and questions thick and threefold; you shall see me untwist them, and lay them open as clear as the sun."
Sancho having plentifully dined that day, in spite of all the aphorisms of Dr. Tirteafuera, when the cloth was removed, in came an express with a letter from Don Quixote to the governor. Sancho ordered the secretary to read it to himself, and if there was nothing in it for secret perusal, then to read it aloud. The secretary having first run it over accordingly, "My lord," said he, "the letter may not only be publicly read, but deserves to be engraved in characters of gold; and thus it is:"
Don Quixote de la Mancha to Sancho Panza, Governor of the Island of Barataria.
"When I expected to have had an account of thy carelessness and blunders, friend Sancho, I was agreeably disappointed with news of thy wise behaviour; for which I return thanks to Heaven, that can raise the lowest from their poverty, and turn the fool into a man of sense. I hear thou governest with all discretion; and that, nevertheless, thou retainest the humility of the meanest creature. But I desire thee to observe, Sancho, that it is many times very necessary and convenient to thwart the humility of the heart, for the better support of authority. For the ornament of a person that is advanced to an eminent post must be answerable to its greatness, and not debased to the inclination of his former meanness. Let thy apparel be neat and handsome; even a stake, well dressed, does not look like a stake. I would not have thee wear foppish gaudy things, nor affect the garb of a soldier in the circumstances of a magistrate; but let thy dress be suitable to thy degree, and always clean and comely.
"To gain the hearts of thy people, I chiefly recommend two things: one is, to be affable, courteous, and fair to all the world; the other, to take care that plenty of provisions be never wanting,—for nothing afflicts or irritates more the spirit of the poor than scarcity and hunger.
"Do not put out many new orders; and if thou dost put out any, see that they be wholesome and good, and that they be strictly observed; for laws not well obeyed are no better than if they were not made, and only shew that the prince who had the wisdom and authority to make them had not the resolution to see them executed; and laws that only threaten, and are not kept, become like the log that was given to the frogs to be their king, which they feared at first, but at last scorned and trampled on.
"Be a father to virtue, but a father-in-law to vice. Be not always severe, nor always merciful; choose a mean between these two extremes; for that middle point is the centre of discretion.
"Visit the prisons, the shambles, and the public markets; for the governor's presence is highly necessary in such places.
"Be a terror to the butchers, that they may be fair in their weights; and keep hucksters and fraudulent dealers in awe, for the same reason.
"Write to thy lord and lady, and shew thyself grateful; for ingratitude is the offspring of pride, and one of the worst corruptions of the mind; whereas he that is thankful to his benefactors gives a testimony that he will be so to God, who has done, and continually does him, so much good.
"My lady duchess despatched a messenger on purpose to thy wife Teresa, with thy hunting suit, and another present. We expect his return every moment.
"I have been somewhat out of order by a certain encounter I had lately, not much to the advantage of my nose; but all that is nothing; for if there are necromancers that misuse me, there are others ready to defend me.
"Send me word whether the steward that is with thee had any hand in the business of the Countess Trifaldi, as thou wert once of opinion; and let me also have an account of whatever befalls thee, since the distance between us is so small. I have thoughts of leaving this idle life ere long; for I was not born for luxury and ease.
"A business has offered, that I believe will make me lose the duke and duchess's favour; but though I am heartily sorry for it, that does not alter my resolution; for, after all, I owe more to my profession than to complaisance; and, as the saying is,Amicus Plato, sed magis amica veritas. I send thee this scrap of Latin, flattering myself that since thou camest to be a governor, thou mayest have learned something of that language. Farewell, and Heaven keep thee above the pity of the world.
"Thy friend,
"Don Quixote de la Mancha."
Sancho gave great attention to the letter; and it was highly applauded, both for sense and integrity, by every body that heard it. After that, he rose from table, and calling the secretary, went without any further delay, and locked himself up with him in his chamber, to write an answer to his master Don Quixote, which was as follows:
Sancho Panza to Don Quixote de la Mancha.
"I am so taken up with business, that I have not yet had time to let you know whether it goes well or ill with me in this same government, where I am more hunger-starved than when you and I wandered through woods and wildernesses.
"My lord duke wrote to me the other day, to inform me ofsome spies that were got into this island to kill me; but as yet I have discovered none, but a certain doctor, hired by the islanders to kill all the governors that come near it. They call him Dr. Pedro Rezio de Anguero, and he was born at Tirteafuera. His name is enough to make me fear he will be the death of me. This same doctor says of himself, that he does cure diseases when you have them; but when you have them not, he only pretends to keep them from coming. The physic he uses, is fasting upon fasting, till he turns a body to a mere skeleton; as if to be wasted to skin and bones were not as bad as a fever. In short, he starves me to death; so that, when I thought, as being a governor, to have plenty of good hot victuals and cool liquor, and to repose on a soft feather-bed, I am come to do penance like a hermit.
"I have not yet so much as fingered the least penny of money, either for fees or any thing else; and how it comes to be no better with me I cannot imagine, for I have heard that the governors who come to this island are wont to have a very good gift, or at least a very round sum given them by the town before they enter. And they say too that this is the usual custom, not only here, but in other places.
"Last night, in going my rounds, I met with a mighty handsome damsel in boy's clothes, and a brother of hers in woman's apparel. My gentleman-waiter fell in love with the girl, and intends to make her his wife, as he says. As for the youth, I have pitched on him to be my son-in-law. To-day we both design to talk to the father, one Diego de la Llana, who is a gentleman, and an old Christian every inch of him.
"I visit the markets as you advised me, and yesterday found one of the hucksters selling hazel-nuts. She pretended they were all new; but I found she had mixed a whole bushel of old, empty, rotten nuts among the same quantity of new. With that, I adjudged them to be given to the hospital boys, who know how to pick the good from the bad, and gave sentence against her that she should not come into the market for fifteen days; and people said I did well.
"I am mighty well pleased that my lady duchess has written to my wife Teresa Panza, and sent her the token you mention. It shall go hard but I will requite her kindness one time or other. Pray give my service to her; and tell her from me, she has not cast her gift in a broken sack, as something more than words shall shew.
"If I might advise you, and had my wish, there should be no falling out between your worship and my lord and lady; for, if you quarrel with them, it is I must come by the worst for it. And, since you mind me of being grateful, it will not look well in you not to be so to those who have made so much of you at their castle.
"If my wife Teresa Panza writes to me, pray pay the postage, and send me the letter; for I mightily long to hear how it is with her, and my house and children.
"Your worship's servant,
"Sancho Panza, the Governor."
The secretary made up the letter, and immediately despatched it. Then those who carried on the plot against Sancho combined together, and consulted how to release him from the cares of government; and Sancho passed that afternoon in making several regulations for the better establishment of that which he imagined to be an island.
In short, he made so many wholesome ordinances, that, to this day, they are observed in that place, and called "The Constitutions of the great Governor Sancho Panza."
A relation of the adventures of the second disconsolate or distressed matron, otherwise called Donna Rodriguez; with the letters of Teresa Panza to the Duchess and to her husband.
Don Quixote'swounds being healed, he began to think the life he led in the castle not suitable to the order which he professed; he resolved, therefore, to set off for Saragosa, where, at the approaching tournament, he hoped to win the armour, the usual prize at the festivals of that kind. Accordingly, as he sat at table with the lord and lady of the castle, he began to acquaint them with his design; when behold two women entered the great hall, clad in deep mourning from head to foot. One of them approaching Don Quixote, threw herself at his feet, where, lying prostrate, and in a manner kissing them, she fetched such doleful sighs, and made such lamentations, that all present were not a little surprised. And, though the duke and duchess imagined it to be some new device of their servants, yet, perceiving with what earnestness the woman sighed and lamented, they were in doubt, and knew not what to think; till the compassionate champion, raising her from the ground, made her to lift up her veil, and discover, what they least expected, the face of Donna Rodriguez, the duenna of the family; and the other mourner proved to be her daughter, whom the rich farmer's son had deluded. All those that knew them were in great admiration, especially the duke and duchess; for, though they knew her simplicity, they did not believe her so far gone in folly. At last, the sorrowful matron, addressing herself to the duke and duchess, "May it please your graces," said she, "to permit me to direct my discourse to thisknight; for it concerns me to get out of an unhappy business, into which the impudence of a treacherous villain has brought us." With that the duke gave her leave to speak; then, applying herself to Don Quixote, "It is not long," said she, "valorous knight, since I gave your worship an account how basely a young graceless farmer had used my dear child, and you then promised me to stand up for her, and see her righted; and now I understand you are about to leave this castle, in quest of the adventures Heaven shall send you. And therefore, before you are gone nobody knows whither, I have this boon to beg of your worship, that you would do so much as challenge this sturdy clown, and make him marry my daughter, according to his promise." "Worthy matron," answered Don Quixote, with a great deal of gravity and solemn form, "moderate your tears, or, to speak more properly, dry them up, and spare your sighs; for I take upon me to see your daughter's wrongs redressed. Therefore, with my lord duke's permission, I will instantly depart to find out this ungracious wretch; and, as soon as he is found, I will challenge him, and kill him, if he persists in his obstinacy; for the chief end of my profession is, to pardon the submissive, and to chastise the stubborn; to relieve the miserable, and destroy the cruel." "Sir knight," said the duke, "you need not give yourself the trouble of seeking the fellow of whom that good matron complains; for I already engage that he shall meet you in person to answer it here in this castle, where lists shall be set up for you both, observing all the laws of arms that ought to be kept in affairs of this kind, and doing each party justice, as all princes ought to do that admit of single combats within their territories." "Upon that assurance," said Don Quixote, "with your grace's leave, I, for this time, wave my punctilio of gentility; and, debasing myself to the meanness of the offender, qualify him to measure lances with me." With that, pulling off his glove, he flung it down into the middle of the hall, and the duke took it up, declaring, as he already had done, that he accepted the challenge in the name of his vassal; fixing the time for combat to be six days after, and the place to be the castle-court; the arms to be such as are usual among knights, as lance, shield, armour of proof, and all other pieces, without fraud, advantage, or enchantment, after search made by the judges of the field.
"But," added the duke, "it is requisite that this matron and her daughter commit the justice of their cause into the hands of their champion; for otherwise there will be nothing done, and the challenge is void." "I do," answered the matron. "And so do I," added the daughter, all ashamed, and in a crying tone. The preliminaries being adjusted, and the duke having resolved with himself what to do in the matter, the petitioners went away, and the duchess ordered they should no longer be looked on as her domestics, but as ladies-errant, that came to demand justice inher castle; and, accordingly, there was a peculiar apartment appointed for them, where they were served as strangers, to the amazement of the other servants, who could not imagine what would be the end of Donna Rodriguez and her forsaken daughter's undertaking.
Presently in came the page that had carried the letters and the presents to Teresa Panza. The duke and duchess were overjoyed to see him returned, having a great desire to know the success of his journey. They inquired of him accordingly; but he told them that the account he had to give them could not well be delivered in public, nor in few words; and therefore begged their graces would be pleased to take it in private, and, in the meantime, entertain themselves with those letters. With that, taking out two, he delivered them to her grace. The superscription of the one was, "These for my Lady Duchess, of I do not know what place;" and the direction on the other, thus, "To my husband Sancho Panza, Governor of the Island of Barataria."
The duchess having opened her letter, read it aloud, that the whole company might hear what follows:
"My Lady,
"The letter your honour sent me pleased me hugeously; for, troth, it is what I heartily longed for. The string of coral is a good thing, and my husband's hunting suit may come up to it. All our town takes it mighty kindly, and is very glad that your honour has made my spouse a governor, though nobody will believe it, especially our curate, Master Nicholas the barber, and Sampson Carrasco the bachelor. But what care I whether they do or no? So it be true, as it is, let every one have their saying. Though (it is a folly to lie) I had not believed it neither, but for the coral and the suit; for every body here takes my husband to be a dolt, and cannot for the life of them imagine what he can be fit to govern, unless it be a herd of goats. Well, Heaven be his guide, and speed him as he sees best for his children. As for me, my dear lady, I am resolved, with your good liking, to make hay while the sun shines, and go to court, to loll it along in a coach, and make my neighbours, that envy me already, stare their eyes out. And, therefore, good your honour, pray bid my husband send me store of money, for I believe it is dear living at court; one can have but little bread there for sixpence, and a pound of flesh is worth thirty maravedis, which would make one stand amazed. And if he is not for my coming, let him send me word in time; for my gossips tell me, that if I and my daughter go about the court as we should, spruce and fine, my husband will be better known by me, than I by him; for many cannot choose but ask, What ladies are these in the coach? With that one of my servants answers, 'The wife and daughter of Sancho Panza, governorof the island of Barataria;' and thus shall my husband be known, and I honoured, far and near.
"You cannot think how I am troubled that we have gathered no acorns hereaway this year; however, I send your highness about half-a-peck, which I have culled one by one: I went to the mountains on purpose, and got the biggest I could find. I wish they had been as big as ostrich-eggs.
"Pray let not your mightiness forget to write to me, and I will be sure to send you an answer, and let you know how I do, and send you all the news in our village. My daughter Sanchica, and my son, kiss your worship's hands.
"Your servant,
"Teresa Panza."
This letter was very entertaining to all the company, especially to the duke and duchess; insomuch that her grace asked Don Quixote whether it would be amiss to open the governor's letter, which she imagined was a very good one? The knight told her that, to satisfy her curiosity, he would open it; which being done, he found what follows:
"I received thy letter, dear Sancho; and I vow and swear to thee, as I am a Catholic Christian, I was within two fingers' breadth of running mad for joy. When I heard thou wert made a governor, I was so transported, I had like to have fallen down dead with mere gladness; for thou knowest sudden joy is said to kill as soon as great sorrow. I had the suit thou sentest me before my eyes, and the lady duchess's corals about my neck,—held the letter in my hands, and had him that brought them standing by me; and for all that, I thought what I saw and felt was but a dream. For who could have thought a goatherd should ever come to be governor of islands? But what said my mother, 'Who a great deal must see, a great while must live.' My lady duchess will tell thee how I long to go to court. Pray think of it, and let me know thy mind; for I mean to credit thee there, by going in a coach.
"Neither the curate, the barber, the bachelor, nor the sexton, will believe thou art a governor; but say it is all juggling or enchantment, as all thy master Don Quixote's concerns used to be; and Sampson threatens to find thee out, and put this maggot of a government out of thy pate, and Don Quixote's madness out of his coxcomb. For my part, I do but laugh at them, and look upon my string of coral, and contrive how to fit up the suit thou sentest me into a gown for thy daughter.
"The news here is, that Berrueca has married her daughter to a sorry painter, that came hither pretending to paint any thing. The township set him to paint the king's arms over the townhall;he asked them two ducats for the job, which they paid him: so he fell to work, and was eight days a-daubing, but could make nothing of it at last, and said he could not hit upon such puddling kind of work, and so gave them their money again. Yet for all this he married with the name of a good workman. The truth is, he has left his pencil upon it, and taken the spade, and goes to the field like a gentleman. Sanchica makes bone-lace, and gets her three halfpence a-day clear, which she saves in a box with a slit, to go towards buying household stuff. But now she is a governor's daughter, she has no need to work, for thou wilt give her a portion. The fountain in the market is dried up. A thunderbolt lately fell upon the pillory: there may they all light! I expect thy answer to this, and thy resolution concerning my going to court.
"Thy wife,
"Teresa Panza."
These letters were admired, and caused a great deal of laughter and diversion; and, to complete the mirth, at the same time the express returned that brought Sancho's answer to Don Quixote, which was likewise publicly read, and startled and delighted all the hearers. Afterwards, the duchess withdrew to know of the page what he had to relate of Sancho's village; of which he gave her a full account, without omitting the least particular.
The toilsome end and conclusion of Sancho Panza's government.
Tothink the affairs of this life are always to remain in the same state, is an erroneous fancy. The face of things rather seems continually to change and roll with circular motion; summer succeeds the spring, autumn the summer, winter the autumn, and then spring again. So time proceeds in this perpetual round; only the life of man is ever hastening to its end, swifter than time itself, without hopes to be renewed, unless in the next, that is unlimited and infinite. For even by the light of nature, and without that of faith, many have discovered the swiftness and instability of this present being, and the duration of the eternal life which is expected. But this moral reflection of our author is here chiefly intended to shew the uncertainty of Sancho's fortune, how soon it vanished like a dream, and how from his high preferment he returned to his former low station.
It was now but the seventh night, after so many days of his government, when the careful governor had betaken himself tohis repose, sated not with bread and wine, but cloyed with hearing causes, pronouncing sentences, making statutes, and putting out orders and proclamations. Scarce was sleep beginning to close his eyes, when of a sudden he heard a great noise of bells, and most dreadful outcries, as if the whole island had been sinking. Presently he started, and sat up in bed, and listened with great attention, to try if he could learn how far this uproar might concern him. But, while he was thus hearkening in the dark, a great number of drums and trumpets were heard, and that sound being added to the noise of the bells and the cries, gave so dreadful an alarm, that his fear and terror increased, and he was in a sad consternation. Quitting his bed, he ran and opened his chamber-door, and saw about twenty men come running along the galleries with lighted torches in one hand, and drawn swords in the other, all crying out, "Arm! my lord governor, arm! a world of enemies are got into the island, and we are undone, unless your valour and conduct relieve us!" Thus bawling and running with great fury and disorder, they got to the door where Sancho stood, quite scared out of his senses. "What would you have me arm for?" cried Sancho; "do I know any thing of arms or fighting, think you? Why do you not rather send for Don Quixote, my master? he will despatch your enemies in a trice. Alas, I understand nothing of this hasty service." "For shame, my lord governor," said another; "what a faint-heartedness is this? See, we bring you here arms offensive and defensive; arm yourself and march to the market-place; be our leader and captain as you ought, and shew yourself a governor." "Why, then, arm me; and good luck attend me!" quoth Sancho. With that they brought him two large shields, which they had provided; and tied the one behind upon his back, and the other before upon his breast, having got his arms through some holes made on purpose. Now the shields being fastened to his body, as hard as cords could bind them, the poor governor was cased up and immured as straight as an arrow, without being able so much as to bend his knees, or stir a step. Then, having put a lance in his hand for him to lean upon and keep himself up, they desired him to march and lead them on, and put life into them all; telling him that they did not doubt of victory, since they had him for their commander. "March!" quoth Sancho, "how do you think I am able to do it, squeezed as I am? These boards stick so plaguy close to me, I cannot so much as bend the joints of my knees; you must even carry me in your arms, and lay me across or set me upright before some passage, and I will make good that spot of ground, either with this lance or my body." "Fie, my lord governor," said another; "it is more your fear than your armour that stiffens your legs, and hinders you from moving. March on; it is high time; the enemy grows stronger, and the danger presses." The poor governor,thus urged, endeavoured to go forward; but the first motion he made threw him to the ground at full length, so heavily that he gave over all his bones for broken: and there he lay like a huge tortoise in his shell, or a flitch of bacon between two boards, or like a boat overturned upon a flat with the keel upwards. Nor had those droll companions the least compassion upon him as he lay; but putting out the lights, they made a terrible noise, and clattered with their swords, and laid on so furiously upon his shields, that if he had not shrunk his head into them for shelter, he had been in a woful condition. Squeezed up in his narrow shell, he was in a grievous fright, praying from the bottom of his heart for deliverance from the unhappy trade of governing islands. At last, when he least expected it, he heard a cry—"Victory, victory! the enemy is routed! Now, my lord governor, rise; come and enjoy the fruits of conquest, and divide the spoils taken from the enemy by the valour of your invincible arms." "Help me up," cried poor Sancho, in a doleful tone; and when they had set him on his legs, "Let all the enemy I have routed," quoth he, "be nailed to my forehead; I will divide no spoils of enemies; but if I have one friend here, I only beg he would give me a draught of wine to comfort me." Thereupon they gave him wine, and took off his shields. After that, what with his fright and what with the toil he had endured, he fell into a swoon, insomuch that those who acted this scene began to repent they had carried it so far. But Sancho, recovering from his fit in a little time, they also recovered from their uneasiness. Being come to himself, he asked what it was o'clock. They answered, it was now break of day. He said nothing, but creeping along softly (for he was too much bruised to go along very fast), he got to the stable, followed by all the company; and coming to Dapple, he embraced the quiet animal, gave him a loving kiss on the forehead, and with tears in his eyes, "Come hither," said he, "my friend, thou faithful companion and fellow-sharer in my travels and miseries; when thee and I consorted together, and all my cares were but to mend thy furniture and feed thy carcase, then happy were my days, my months, and years. But since I forsook thee, and clambered up the towers of ambition and pride, a thousand woes, a thousand torments, have haunted and worried my soul."
While Sancho was talking thus, he fitted on his pack-saddle, nobody offering to say anything to him. This done, with a great deal of difficulty he mounted his ass; and then, addressing himself to the steward, the secretary, the gentleman-waiter, and Doctor Pedro Rezio, and many others that stood by: "Make way, gentlemen," said he, "and let me return to my former liberty. Let me go, that I may seek my old course of life, and rise again from that death which buries me here alive. I know better what belongs to ploughing, delving, pruning, and plantingof vineyards, than how to make laws, and defend countries and kingdoms. St. Peter is very well at Rome; which is as much as to say, let every one stick to the calling he was born to. A spade does better in my hand than a governor's truncheon; and I had rather have a mess of plain porridge than lie at the mercy of an officious physic-monger, who starves me to death. I had rather solace myself under the shade of an oak in summer, and wrap myself up in a double sheep-skin in the winter, at my liberty, than lay me down, with the slavery of a government, in fine Holland sheets, and case my body in furs and sables. Heaven be with you, gentlefolks; and pray tell my lord duke from me, that poor I was born, and poor I am at present. I have neither won nor lost; which is as much as to say, without a penny I came to this government, and without a penny I leave it—quite contrary to what other governors of islands use to do when they leave them. Clear the way, then, I beseech you, and let me pass." "This must not be, my lord governor," said Dr. Rezio; "for I will give your honour a balsamic drink, that is a specific against falls, dislocations, contusions, and all manner of bruises, and that will presently restore you to your former health and strength. And then for your diet, I promise to take a new course with you, and to let you eat abundantly of whatsoever you please." "It is too late, Mr. Doctor," answered Sancho; "you should as soon make me turn Turk, as hinder me from going. No, no; these tricks shall not pass upon me again. Every sheep with its like. Let not the cobbler go beyond his last; and so let me go, for it is late." "My lord governor," said the steward, "though it grieves us to part with your honour, your sense and Christian behaviour engaging us to covet your company, yet we would not presume to stop you against your inclination; but you know that every governor, before he leaves the place he has governed, is bound to give an account of his administration. Be pleased, therefore, to do so for the time you have been among us, and then peace be with you." "No man has power to call me to an account," replied Sancho, "but my lord duke. To him it is that I am going, and to him I will give a fair and square account. And indeed, going away so bare as I do, there needs no greater proof that I have governed like an angel." "In truth," said Dr. Rezio, "the great Sancho is in the right; and I am of opinion we ought to let him go; for certainly the duke will be very glad to see him." Thereupon they all agreed to let him pass; offering first to attend him, and supply him with whatever he might want in his journey, either for entertainment or convenience. Sancho told them that all he desired was, a little corn for his ass, and half a cheese and half a loaf for himself, having occasion for no other provisions in so short a journey. With that, they all embraced him, and he embraced them all, not without tears in his eyes; leaving them in admiration of the good sensewhich he discovered, both in his discourse and unalterable resolution.