The Project Gutenberg eBook ofThe Hole Book

The Project Gutenberg eBook ofThe Hole BookThis ebook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this ebook or online atwww.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this eBook.Title: The Hole BookAuthor: Peter NewellRelease date: January 11, 2022 [eBook #67144]Most recently updated: October 18, 2024Language: EnglishOriginal publication: United States: Harper & Brothers, 1908Credits: Chuck Greif, deaurider and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from images generously made available by The Internet Archive)*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE HOLE BOOK ***

This ebook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this ebook or online atwww.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this eBook.

Title: The Hole BookAuthor: Peter NewellRelease date: January 11, 2022 [eBook #67144]Most recently updated: October 18, 2024Language: EnglishOriginal publication: United States: Harper & Brothers, 1908Credits: Chuck Greif, deaurider and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from images generously made available by The Internet Archive)

Title: The Hole Book

Author: Peter Newell

Release date: January 11, 2022 [eBook #67144]Most recently updated: October 18, 2024

Language: English

Original publication: United States: Harper & Brothers, 1908

Credits: Chuck Greif, deaurider and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from images generously made available by The Internet Archive)

*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE HOLE BOOK ***

{1}

THE HOLE BOOK

ByPETER NEWELLHARPER & BROTHERSNEW YORK

{2}

{3}

{4}

Tom Potts was fooling with a gun(Such follies should not be),When—bang! the pesky thing went offMost unexpectedly!Tom didn’t know ’twas loaded, andIt scared him ’most to death—He tumbled flat upon the floorAnd fairly gasped for breath.The bullet smashed a fine French clock(The clock had just struck three),Then made a hole clean through the wall,As you can plainly see.{5}

Tom Potts was fooling with a gun(Such follies should not be),When—bang! the pesky thing went offMost unexpectedly!

Tom didn’t know ’twas loaded, andIt scared him ’most to death—He tumbled flat upon the floorAnd fairly gasped for breath.

The bullet smashed a fine French clock(The clock had just struck three),Then made a hole clean through the wall,As you can plainly see.{5}

{6}

Out in the kitchen Bridget QuinnWas busying about,When through the boiler crashed the shotAnd let the water out!The floor was flooded like a pond,The room was filled with steam,And Bridget gathered up her skirtsAnd rushed out with a scream.{7}

Out in the kitchen Bridget QuinnWas busying about,When through the boiler crashed the shotAnd let the water out!

The floor was flooded like a pond,The room was filled with steam,And Bridget gathered up her skirtsAnd rushed out with a scream.{7}

{8}

Out in the back yard Sister Sue,With “Sis” and Mabel Dunn,Was swinging underneath the trees,And having lots of fun,—When zip! the speeding bullet sang,And cut the rope in two,Then hurtled through the high board fence,And to the ground came Sue!{9}

Out in the back yard Sister Sue,With “Sis” and Mabel Dunn,Was swinging underneath the trees,And having lots of fun,—

When zip! the speeding bullet sang,And cut the rope in two,Then hurtled through the high board fence,And to the ground came Sue!{9}

{10}

Just then an automobile passed,Its body painted green—The bullet struck its side and piercedThe tank of gasolene.A loud explosion followed andA tremor shook the air!The passengers were tossed aloftAmidst the smoke and glare!{11}

Just then an automobile passed,Its body painted green—The bullet struck its side and piercedThe tank of gasolene.

A loud explosion followed andA tremor shook the air!The passengers were tossed aloftAmidst the smoke and glare!{11}

{12}

An artist in a studio,Who had a medal won,Was painting on “A Laughing Boy,”Which work was all but done:The ball of lead this picture smote,As through the room it ranged,And through the canvas bored its way,And the expression changed!{13}

An artist in a studio,Who had a medal won,Was painting on “A Laughing Boy,”Which work was all but done:

The ball of lead this picture smote,As through the room it ranged,And through the canvas bored its way,And the expression changed!{13}

{14}

Old Granny Fink was sound asleep—As sound as one could wish;Beside her an aquariumWas standing, stocked with fish:The bullet struck the crystal globe,And roused her from her nap—And Granny found that she was drenched,With goldfish in her lap!{15}

Old Granny Fink was sound asleep—As sound as one could wish;Beside her an aquariumWas standing, stocked with fish:

The bullet struck the crystal globe,And roused her from her nap—And Granny found that she was drenched,With goldfish in her lap!{15}

{16}

A lady came into a storeWhere animals were sold,To buy a parrot with a tongueThat wouldn’t swear or scold;But as she talked about the birdAnd asked about the price,The bullet plunged clean through a boxAnd freed a lot of mice!{17}

A lady came into a storeWhere animals were sold,To buy a parrot with a tongueThat wouldn’t swear or scold;

But as she talked about the birdAnd asked about the price,The bullet plunged clean through a boxAnd freed a lot of mice!{17}

{18}

Old Hagenschmit, behind his house,His new Dutch pipe was trying,When—bing! the bullet smashed the bowlAnd sent the pieces flying!“Who put dot bombshell in my pipe?”Exclaimed the startled smoker.“If I could git my hands on him,Dere would be vone less joker!”{19}

Old Hagenschmit, behind his house,His new Dutch pipe was trying,When—bing! the bullet smashed the bowlAnd sent the pieces flying!

“Who put dot bombshell in my pipe?”Exclaimed the startled smoker.“If I could git my hands on him,Dere would be vone less joker!”{19}

{20}

A pear-tree, seen above the wall,With fruit was laden down,And Ned, below, appeared to beThe saddest boy in town;Just then the restless bullet passed,And clipped a branching limbWhich bore a dozen pears or moreAnd passed it down to him!{21}

A pear-tree, seen above the wall,With fruit was laden down,And Ned, below, appeared to beThe saddest boy in town;

Just then the restless bullet passed,And clipped a branching limbWhich bore a dozen pears or moreAnd passed it down to him!{21}

{22}

G. Foozleman, in high silk hat,Along the street was trailing,When through the crown the bullet spedAnd sent his hat a-sailing!“What do you mean, sir,” blurted he,To Harvey Jones, behind him,“By knocking off my high silk hat?”But Harvey didn’t mind him.{23}

G. Foozleman, in high silk hat,Along the street was trailing,When through the crown the bullet spedAnd sent his hat a-sailing!

“What do you mean, sir,” blurted he,To Harvey Jones, behind him,“By knocking off my high silk hat?”But Harvey didn’t mind him.{23}

{24}

Dick Bumble, with a bag of grain,Was going out to grind it,When through the bag the bullet toreAnd left a hole behind it!Dick neither knew the bag was pinked,Nor that a hole was in it,And wondered why the load he boreGrew lighter every minute.{25}

Dick Bumble, with a bag of grain,Was going out to grind it,When through the bag the bullet toreAnd left a hole behind it!

Dick neither knew the bag was pinked,Nor that a hole was in it,And wondered why the load he boreGrew lighter every minute.{25}

{26}

Tim Nickleby had hooked a fish,And was about to land it,When—snap! his fish-pole broke in two—He couldn’t understand it.Of course the bullet did the trick;—It would have been more thrillingIf it had punctured Timothy,Who was in need of drilling.{27}

Tim Nickleby had hooked a fish,And was about to land it,When—snap! his fish-pole broke in two—He couldn’t understand it.

Of course the bullet did the trick;—It would have been more thrillingIf it had punctured Timothy,Who was in need of drilling.{27}

{28}

A restless wild-cat had escaped,And roamed the gardens free;The keeper, frightened at the sight,Had climbed a lofty tree:The savage brute espied him there,And with an agile bound,It met the bullet in the air,And tumbled to the ground!{29}

A restless wild-cat had escaped,And roamed the gardens free;The keeper, frightened at the sight,Had climbed a lofty tree:

The savage brute espied him there,And with an agile bound,It met the bullet in the air,And tumbled to the ground!{29}

{30}

A watermelon, large and fine,Was in the kitchen shed;The bullet drilled a hole through itAs on its way it sped.“Who plugged dat melon?” mammy cried,As through the door she came.“I’d spank de chile dat done dat trick,Ef I could learn his name.”{31}

A watermelon, large and fine,Was in the kitchen shed;The bullet drilled a hole through itAs on its way it sped.

“Who plugged dat melon?” mammy cried,As through the door she came.“I’d spank de chile dat done dat trick,Ef I could learn his name.”{31}

{32}

A vender of balloons, a chapIn Russia born and bred,Came ambling through the dusty street,His wares above his head.“Balloons! Balloons! Who vants to buy?”He shrilly cried. “I say—”Just then his enterprise collapsed—The shot had come that way.{33}

A vender of balloons, a chapIn Russia born and bred,Came ambling through the dusty street,His wares above his head.

“Balloons! Balloons! Who vants to buy?”He shrilly cried. “I say—”Just then his enterprise collapsed—The shot had come that way.{33}

{34}

A German band was on parade,And all the district knew it,When—boom! the bass-drum sounded out—The shot had gone clean through it!The leader turned about in ire,And pointing at the drummer,Exclaimed: “You sthart too soon, my friendt—You make a better plumber!”{35}

A German band was on parade,And all the district knew it,When—boom! the bass-drum sounded out—The shot had gone clean through it!

The leader turned about in ire,And pointing at the drummer,Exclaimed: “You sthart too soon, my friendt—You make a better plumber!”{35}

{36}

Mis’ Silverman had built a fireAnd shovelled on some coal,When through the stove-pipe crashed the shotAnd made a gaping hole!The smoke in murky columns rose,The lady raised a shout;Then on the scene the firemen came,And put the lady out!{37}

Mis’ Silverman had built a fireAnd shovelled on some coal,When through the stove-pipe crashed the shotAnd made a gaping hole!

The smoke in murky columns rose,The lady raised a shout;Then on the scene the firemen came,And put the lady out!{37}

{38}

A cat espied a tiny mouse,And crouched to make a spring;The mousey couldn’t find a placeIn which to hide—poor thing!Just then the bullet made a hole—A fair-sized hole at that—And in it dashed the frightened mouse,And thus escaped the cat.{39}

A cat espied a tiny mouse,And crouched to make a spring;The mousey couldn’t find a placeIn which to hide—poor thing!

Just then the bullet made a hole—A fair-sized hole at that—And in it dashed the frightened mouse,And thus escaped the cat.{39}

{40}

A thief was stealing in the door—A clever chap was he;For he had waited till the gongHad summoned all to tea.But at that moment came the shot,And smote the door-bell clear—The butler reached the door in timeTo see him disappear!{41}

A thief was stealing in the door—A clever chap was he;For he had waited till the gongHad summoned all to tea.

But at that moment came the shot,And smote the door-bell clear—The butler reached the door in timeTo see him disappear!{41}

{42}

Old Sandy, on his Highland pipes,Was drooning “Robin Hood,”And coaxing from the boys and girlsSuch pennies as he could,When suddenly the bag went “squash!”The drone became a sigh—The fleeting shot had pierced the bagOf wind in passing by!{43}

Old Sandy, on his Highland pipes,Was drooning “Robin Hood,”And coaxing from the boys and girlsSuch pennies as he could,

When suddenly the bag went “squash!”The drone became a sigh—The fleeting shot had pierced the bagOf wind in passing by!{43}

{44}

For some excitement, good and hot,These lads were fairly spoiling,When through the bee-hive plunked the shot,And set the pot a-boiling!The startled swarm came streaming outIn temper hot and baneful,And drove the foe in awful rout,With volleys sharp and painful!{45}

For some excitement, good and hot,These lads were fairly spoiling,When through the bee-hive plunked the shot,And set the pot a-boiling!

The startled swarm came streaming outIn temper hot and baneful,And drove the foe in awful rout,With volleys sharp and painful!{45}

{46}

When Felix Fenno flew his kite,He found his hands were full;It seemed determined to escape,So strongly did it pull.But presently the whizzing shotThe kite-string neatly parted,And, like an air-ship on a cruise,His precious kite departed!{47}

When Felix Fenno flew his kite,He found his hands were full;It seemed determined to escape,So strongly did it pull.

But presently the whizzing shotThe kite-string neatly parted,And, like an air-ship on a cruise,His precious kite departed!{47}

{48}

The grocer boy was teasing SnipBy pelting him with rice,And keeping just beyond his reach—Which wasn’t very nice.Just then the bullet clipped the chainThat held the pup, and—joy!He fairly sprinted through the air,And nabbed that grocer boy!{49}

The grocer boy was teasing SnipBy pelting him with rice,And keeping just beyond his reach—Which wasn’t very nice.

Just then the bullet clipped the chainThat held the pup, and—joy!He fairly sprinted through the air,And nabbed that grocer boy!{49}

{50}

Mis’ Newlywed had made a cake,With icings good and stout—The bullet struck its armor belt,And meekly flattened out.And this was lucky for Tom Potts,The boy who fired the shot—It might have gone clean round the worldAnd killed him on the spot.

Mis’ Newlywed had made a cake,With icings good and stout—The bullet struck its armor belt,And meekly flattened out.

And this was lucky for Tom Potts,The boy who fired the shot—It might have gone clean round the worldAnd killed him on the spot.

{51}

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