THE HOUSEHOLD OF SIR THOMAS MORE
Chelsea, June 18th.
On asking Mr.Gunnelto what Use I should put this fayrLibellus, he did suggest my making it a Kinde of family Register, wherein to note the more important of our domestick Passages, whether of Joyor Griefe—my Father's Journies and Absences—the Visits of learned Men, theire notable Sayings, etc. "You are ready at the Pen, MistressMargaret," he was pleased to say; "and I woulde humblie advise your journalling in the same fearless Manner in the which you framed that Letter which soe well pleased theBishop of Exeter, that he sent you a Portugal Piece. 'Twill be well to write it in English, which 'tis expedient for you not altogether to negleckt, even for the more honourable Latin."
Methinks I am close upon Womanhood.... "Humblie advise," quotha! to me, that have so oft humblie sued for his Pardon, and sometimes in vayn!
'Tis well to make trial ofGonellushis "humble" Advice: albeit, our daylie Course is so methodicall, that 'twill affordscant Subject for the Pen—Vitam continet una Dies.
... As I traced the last Word, methoughte I heard the well-known Tones ofErasmushis pleasant Voyce; and, looking forthe of my Lattice, did indeede beholde the deare little Man coming up from the River Side with my Father, who, because of the Heat, had given his Cloak to a tall Stripling behind him to bear. I flew up Stairs, to advertise Mother, who was half in and half out of her grogram Gown, and who stayed me to clasp her Owches; so that, by the Time I had followed her down Stairs, we founde 'em alreadie in the Hall.
So soon as I had kissed their Hands, and obtayned their Blessings, the tall Lad stept forthe, and who should he be butWilliam Roper, returned from my Father's Errand over-seas! He hath grown hugelie, and looks mannish; but his Manners are worsened insteade of bettered by forayn Travell; for, insteade of his old Franknesse, he hung upon Hand tillFatherbade him come forward; and then, as he went his Rounds, kissing one after another, stopt short when he came to me, twice made as though he would have saluted me, and then held back, making me looke so stupid, that I could have boxed his Ears for his Payns. 'Speciallie asFatherburst out a-laughing, and cried, "The third Time's lucky!"
After Supper, we took deareErasmusentirely over the House, in a Kind of family Procession, e'en from the Buttery and Scalding-house to our own deareAcademia, with its cool green Curtain flapping in the Evening Breeze, andblowing aside, as though on Purpose to give a glimpse of the cleare-shiningThames!Erasmusnoted and admired the Stone Jar, placed byMercy Giggson the Table, full of blue and yellow Irises, scarlet Tiger-Lilies, Dog-Roses, Honeysuckles, Moonwort, and Herb-Trinity; and alsoe our various Desks, eache in its own little Retirement,—mine own, in speciall, so pleasantly situate! He protested, with everie Semblance of Sincerity, he had never seene so pretty an Academy. I should think not, indeede!Bess,Daisy, and I, are of Opinion, that there is not likelie to be such another in the World. He glanced, too, at the Books on our Desks;Bessy'sbeingLivy;Daisy's,Sallust; and mine, St.Augustine, withFather'sMarks where I was to read, and where desist. He toldeErasmus, laying his Hand fondlie on my Head, "Here is one whoknows what is implied in the Word Trust." DearFather, well I may! He added, "there was no Law against laughing inhis Academia, for that his Girls knew how to be merry and wise."
From the House to the new Building, the Chapel and Gallery, and thence to visitt all the dumb Kinde, from the great horned Owls toCecy'spet Dormice.Erasmuswas amused at some of theire Names, but doubted whetherDuns Scotusand theVenerable Bedewould have thoughte themselves complimented in being made Name-fathers to a couple of Owls; though he admitted thatArgusandJunowere goode Cognomens for Peacocks.Will Roperhath broughte Mother a pretty little forayn Animal called a Marmot, but she sayd she had noe Time for suchlike Playthings, and bade him give it to his little Wife. Methinks, I being neare sixteenand he close upon twenty, we are too old for those childish Names now, nor am I much flattered at a Present not intended for me; however, I shall be kind to the little Creature, and, perhaps, grow fond of it, as 'tis both harmlesse and diverting.
Erasmus and the Peacocks.
To return, howbeit, toErasmus;Cecy, who had hold of his Gown, and had alreadie, through his familiar Kindnesse and her own childish Heedlessness, somewhat transgrest Bounds, began now in her Mirthe to fabricate a Dialogue, she pretended to have overhearde, betweenArgusandJunoas they stoode pearcht on a stone Parapet.Erasmuswas entertayned with her Garrulitie for a while, but at length gentlie checkt her, with "Love the Truth, little Mayd, love the Truth, or, if thou liest, let it be with a Circumstance," a Qualification which madeMotherstare andFatherlaugh.
SaythErasmus, "There is no Harm in a Fabella, Apologus, or Parabola, so long as its Character be distinctlie recognised for such, but contrariwise, much Goode; and the same hath been sanctioned, not only by the wiser Heads ofGreeceandRome, but by our deare Lord Himself. Therefore,Cecilie, whom I love exceedinglie, be not abasht, Child, at my Reproof, for thy Dialogue between the two Peacocks was innocent no less than ingenious, till thou wouldst have insisted that they, in sooth, sayd Something like what thou didst invent. Therein thou didst Violence to the Truth, which St.Paulhath typified by a Girdle, to be worn next the Heart, and that not only confineth within due Limits, but addeth Strength. So now be Friends; wert thou more than eleven and I no Priest, thou shouldst be my little Wife, anddarn my Hose, and make me sweet Marchpane, such as thou and I love. But, oh! this prettyChelsea! What Daisies! what Buttercups! what joviall Swarms of Gnats! The Country all about is as nice and flat asRotterdam."
Anon, we sit down to rest and talk in the Pavilion.
SaythErasmusto myFather, "I marvel you have never entered into the King's Service in some publick Capacitie, wherein your Learning and Knowledge, bothe of Men and Things, would not onlie serve your own Interest, but that of your Friends and the Publick."
Fathersmiled and made Answer, "I am better and happier as I am. As for my Friends, I alreadie do for them alle I can, soe as they can hardlie consider me in their Debt; and, for myself,the yielding to theire Solicitations that I would putt myself forward for the Benefit of the World in generall, would be like printing a Book at Request of Friends, that the Publick may be charmed with what, in Fact, it values at a Doit. The Cardinall offered me a Pension, as retaining Fee to the King a little while back, but I tolde him I did not care to be a mathematical Point, to have Position without Magnitude."
Erasmuslaught and sayd, "I woulde not have you the Slave of anie King; howbeit, you mighte assist him and be useful to him."
"The Change of the Word," saythFather, "does not alter the Matter; I shouldbea Slave, as completely as if I had a Collar rounde my Neck."
"But would not increased Usefulnesse,"saysErasmus, "make you happier?"
"Happier?" saysFather, somewhat heating; "how can that be compassed in a Way so abhorrent to my Genius? At present, I live as I will, to which very few Courtiers can pretend. Half-a-dozen blue-coated Serving-Men answer my Turn in the House, Garden, Field, and on the River: I have a few strong Horses for Work, none for Show, plenty of plain Food for a healthy Family, and enough, with a hearty Welcome, for a score of Guests that are not dainty. The lengthe of my Wife's Train infringeth not the Statute; and, for myself, I soe hate Bravery, that my Motto is, 'Of those whom you see in Scarlet, not one is happy.' I have a regular Profession, which supports my House, and enables me to promote Peace andJustice; I have Leisure to chat with my Wife, and sport with my Children; I have Hours for Devotion, and Hours for Philosophie and the liberall Arts, which are absolutelie medicinall to me, as Antidotes to the sharpe but contracted Habitts of Mind engendered by the Law. If there be aniething in a Court Life which can compensate for the Losse of anie of these Blessings, deareDesiderius, pray tell me what it is, for I confesse I know not."
"You are a comicall Genius," saysErasmus.
"As for you," retortedFather, "you are at your olde Trick of arguing on the wrong Side, as you did the firste Time we mett. Nay, don't we know you can declaime backward and forwarde on the same Argument, as you did on theVenetianWar?"
Erasmussmiled quietlie, and sayd, "What coulde I do? ThePopechanged his holy Mind." WhereatFathersmiled too.
"What Nonsense you learned Men sometimes talk!" pursuesFather. "I—wanted at Court, quotha! Fancy a dozen starving Men with one roasted Pig betweene them;—do you think they would be really glad to see a Thirteenth come up, with an eye to a small Piece of the Crackling? No; believe me, there is none that Courtiers are more sincerelie respectfull to than the Man who avows he hath no Intention of attempting to go Shares; and e'en him they care mighty little about, for they love none with true Tendernesse save themselves."
"We shall see you at Court yet," saysErasmus.
SaythFather, "Then I will tell you in what Guise. With a Fool's Cap and Bells. Pish! I won't aggravate you, Churchman as you are, by alluding to the Blessings I have which you have not; and I trow there is as much Danger in taking you for serious when you are onlie playful and ironicall as if you werePlatohimself."
SaythErasmus, after some Minutes' Silence, "I know full well that you holdePlato, in manie Instances, to be sporting when I accept him in very Deed and Truth.Speculatinghe often was; as a brighte, pure Flame must needs be struggling up, and, if it findeth no direct Vent, come forthe of the Oven's Mouth. He was like a Man shut into a Vault, running hither and thither, with his poor, flickering Taper, agonizing to get forthe, and holding himselfin readinesse to make a Spring forward the Moment a Door should open. But it never did. 'Not manie Wise are called.' He had clomb a Hill in the Darke, and stoode calling to his Companions below, 'Come on, come on! this Way lies the East; I am avised we shall see the Sun rise anon.' But they never did. What a Christian he woulde have made! Ah! he is one now. He andSocrates—the Veil long removed from their Eyes—are sitting atJesus'Feet.Sancte Socrates, ora pro nobis!"
Bessieand I exchanged Glances at this so strange Ejaculation; but the Subjeckt was of such Interest, that we listened with deep Attention to what followed.
SaythFather, "WhetherSocrateswere whatPlatopainted him in his Dialogues, is with me a great Matter of Doubte; but it is not of Moment.When so many Contemporaries coulde distinguishe the fancifulle from the fictitious,Plato'sObject could never have beene todeceive. There is something higher in Art than gross Imitation. He who attempteth it is always the leaste successfull; and his Failure hath the Odium of a discovered Lie; whereas, to give an avowedlie fabulous Narrative a Consistence within itselfe which permitts the Reader to be, for the Time, voluntarilie deceived, is as artfulle as it is allowable. Were I to construct a Tale, I woulde, as you sayd toCecy, lie with a Circumstance, but shoulde consider it noe Compliment to have my Unicorns and Hippogriffs taken for live Animals.Amicus Plato, amicus Socrates, magis tamen amica Veritas.Now,Platohad a much higher Aim than to give a very Pattern ofSocrateshis snub Nose.He wanted a Peg to hang his Thoughts upon——"
"A Peg? A Statue byPhidias," interruptsErasmus.
"A Statue byPhidias, to clothe in the most beautiful Drapery," saythFather; "no Matter that the Drapery was his own, he wanted to show it to the best Advantage, and to the Honour rather than Prejudice of the Statue. And, having clothed the same, he got a Spark ofPrometheushis Fire, and made the aforesayd Statue walk and talk, to the Glory of Gods and Men, and sate himself quietlie down in a Corner. By the Way,Desiderius, why shouldst thou not submitt thy Subtletie to the Rules of a Colloquy? SetEckiusandMartin Lutherby the Ears! Ha! Man, what Sport! Heavens! if I were to compound a Tale or a Dialogue, whatCrotchets and Quips of mine own woulde I not putt into my Puppets' Mouths! and then have out my Laugh behind my Vizard, as when we used to act Burlesques beforeCardinall Morton. What rare Sporte we had, one Christmas, with a Mummery we called the 'Triall of Feasting'!DinnerandSupperwere broughte up before myLord Chief Justice, charged with Murder. Theire Accomplices werePlum-pudding,Mince-pye,Surfeit,Drunkenness, and suchlike. Being condemned to hang by the Neck, I, who wasSupper, stuft out with I cannot tell you how manie Pillows, began to call lustilie for a Confessor, and, on his stepping forthe, commenct a List of all the Fitts, Convulsions, Spasms, Payns in the Head, and so forthe, I had inflicted on this one and t'other. 'Alas! good Father,' says I,'King Johnlayd his Death at my Door;—indeede, there's scarce a royall or noble House that hath not a Charge agaynst me; and I'm sorelie afrayd' (giving a Poke at a fat Priest that sate at myLord Cardinall'sElbow) 'I shall have the Death ofthatholy Man to answer for.'"
Erasmuslaughed, and sayd, "Did I ever tell you of the retort ofWillibald Pirkheimer? A Monk, hearing him praise me somewhat lavishly to another, could not avoid expressing by his Looks great Disgust and Dissatisfaction; and, on being askt whence they arose, confest he could not, with Patience, heare the Commendation of a Man soe notoriously fond of eating Fowls. 'Does he steal them?' saysPirkheimer. 'Surely no,' says the Monk. 'Why, then,' quothWillibald, 'I know of a Fox whois ten times the greater Rogue; for, look you, he helps himself to many a fat Hen from my Roost without ever offering to pay me. But tell me now, dear Father, is it then a Sin to eat Fowls?' 'Most assuredlie it is,' says the Monk, 'if you indulge in them to Gluttony.' 'Ah! if, if!' quothPirkheimer. 'If stands stiff, as theLacedemonianstoldPhilipofMacedon; and 'tis not by eating Bread alone, my dear Father, you have acquired that huge Paunch of yours. I fancy, if all the fat Fowls that have gone into it could raise their Voices and cackle at once, they woulde make Noise enow to drown the Drums and Trumpets of an army.' Well mayLuthersay," continuedErasmus, laughing, "that theire fasting is easier to them than our eating to us; seeing that every Man Jack of them hath tohis Evening Meal two Quarts of Beer, a Quart of Wine, and as manie as he can eat of Spice Cakes, the better to relish his Drink. While I ... 'tis true my Stomach is Lutheran, but my Heart is Catholic; that's as Heaven made me, and I'll be judged by you alle, whether I am not as thin as a Weasel."
'Twas now growing dusk, andCecy'stame Hares were just beginning to be on the alert, skipping across our Path, as we returned towards the House, jumping over one another, and raysing 'emselves on theire hind Legs to solicitt our Notice.Erasmuswas amused at theire Gambols, and at our making them beg for Vine-tendrils; andFathertold him there was hardlie a Member of the Householde who had not a dumb Pet of some Sort. "I encourage the Taste in them," hesayd, "not onlie because it fosters Humanitie and affords harmlesse Recreation, but because it promotes Habitts of Forethoughte and Regularitie. No Child or Servant of mine hath Liberty to adopt a Pet which he is too lazy or nice to attend to himself. A little Management may enable even a young Gentlewoman to do this, without soyling her Hands; and to negleckt giving them proper Food at proper Times entayls a Disgrace of which everie one of 'em would be ashamed. But, hark! there is the Vesper-bell."
As we passed under a Pear-tree,Erasmustold us, with much Drollerie, of a Piece of boyish Mischief of his,—the Theft of some Pears off a particular Tree, the Fruit of which the Superior of his Convent had meant to reserve to himself. One Morning,Erasmushad climbed theTree, and was feasting to his great Content, when he was aware of the Superior approaching to catch him in the Fact; soe, quickly slid down to the Ground, and made off in the opposite Direction, limping as he went. The Malice of this Act consisted in its being the Counterfeit of the Gait of a poor lame Lay Brother, who was, in fact, smartlie punisht forErasmushis Misdeede. Our Friend mentioned this with a Kinde of Remorse, and observed to myFather,—"Men laugh at the Sins of young People and little Children, as if they were little Sins; albeit, the Robbery of an Apple or Cherry-orchard is as much a breaking of the Eighth Commandment as the stealing of a Leg of Mutton from a Butcher's Stall, and ofttimes with far less Excuse. Our Church tells us, indeede, of Venial Sins, such as the Theftof an Apple or a Pin; but, I think," (looking hard atCecilieandJack,) "even the youngest among us could tell how much Sin and Sorrow was brought into the World by stealing an Apple."
At Bedtime,Bessand I did agree in wishing that alle learned Men were as apt to unite Pleasure with Profit in theire Talk asErasmus. There be some that can write after the Fashion of Paul, and others preach like unto Apollos; but this, methinketh, is scattering Seed by the Wayside, like the Great Sower.
Tuesday.
'Tis singular, the Love thatJackandCecyhave for one another; it resembleth that of Twins.Jackis not forward at his Booke; on the other Hand, he hatha Resolution of Character whichCecyaltogether wants. Last Night, whenErasmusspake of Children's Sins, I observed her squeezeJack'sHand with alle her Mighte. I know what she was thinking of. Having bothe beene forbidden to approach a favourite Part of the River Bank which had given way from too much Use, one or the other of 'em transgressed, as was proven by the smalle Footprints in the Mud, as well as by a Nosegay of Flowers, that grow not, save by the River; to wit, Purple Loosestrife, Cream-and-codlins, Scorpion-grass, Water Plantain, and the like. Neither of 'em woulde confesse, andJackwas, therefore, sentenced to be whipt. As he walked off with Mr.Drew, I observedCecyturn soe pale, that I whisperedFatherI was certayn she was guilty. He made Answer, "Never mind, we cannotbeat a Girl, and 'twill answer the same Purpose; in flogging him, we flog both."Jackbore the firste Stripe or two, I suppose, well enow, but at lengthe we hearde him cry out, on whichCecycoulde not forbeare to doe the same, and then stopt bothe her Ears. I expected everie Moment to heare her say, "Father, 'twas I;" but no, she had not Couragefor that; onlie, whenJackcame forthe all smirched with Tears, she put her Arm about his Neck, and they walked off together into the Nuttery. Since that Hour, she hath beene more devoted to him than ever, if possible; and he, Boy-like, finds Satisfaction in making her his little Slave. But the Beauty lay in myFather'sImprovement of the Circumstance. TakingCecyon his Knee that Evening, (for she was not ostensiblie in Disgrace,) he beganne to talk of Atonement and Mediation for Sin, and who it was that bare our Sins for us on the Tree. 'Tis thus he turns the daylie Accidents of our quiet Lives into Lessons of deepe Import, not pedanticallie delivered,ex cathedrâ, but welling forthe from a full and fresh Mind.
Jack and Cecy.
This Morn I had risen before Dawn, being minded to meditate on sundrieMatters beforeBesswas up and doing, she being given to much Talk during her dressing, and made my Way to the Pavilion, where, methought, I should be quiet enow; but beholde!FatherandErasmuswere there before me, in fluent and earneste Discourse. I would have withdrawne, butFather, without interrupting his Sentence, puts his Arm rounde me and draweth me to him; soe there I sit, my Head on 's Shoulder, and mine Eyes onErasmushis Face.
From much they spake, and othermuch I guessed, they had beene conversing on the present State of the Church, and how much it needed Renovation.
Erasmussayd, the Vices of the Clergy and Ignorance of the Vulgar had now come to a Poynt, at the which, a Remedie must be founde, or the whole Fabric would falle to Pieces.
—Sayd, the Revival of Learning seemed appoynted by Heaven for some greate Purpose, 'twas difficulte to say how greate.
—Spake of the new Art of Printing, and its possible Consequents.
—Of the active and fertile Minds at present turning up new Ground and ferreting out old Abuses.
—Of the Abuse of Monachism, and of the evil Lives of Conventualls. In special, of the Fanaticism and Hypocrisie of the Dominicans.
Considered the Evills of the Times such, as that Societie must shortlie, by a vigorous Effort, shake 'em off.
Wondered at the Patience of the Laitie for soe many Generations, but thoughte 'em now waking from theire Sleepe. The People had of late begunne to know theire physickall Power, and to chafe at the Weighte of theire Yoke.
Thoughte the Doctrine of Indulgences altogether bad and false.
Fathersayd, that the graduallie increast Severitie of Church Discipline concerning minor Offences had become such as to render Indulgences the needfulle Remedie for Burthens too heavie to be borne.—Condemned a Draconic Code, that visitted even Sins of Discipline with the extream Penaltie. Quoted how ill such excessive Severitie answered in our owne Land, with regard to the Civill Law; twenty Thieves oft hanging together on the same Gibbet, yet Robberie noe Whit abated.
Othermuch to same Purport, the which, if alle set downe, woulde too soon fill my Libellus. At length, unwillinglie brake off, when the Bell rang us to Matins.
At Breakfaste,WilliamandRupertwere earneste with myFatherto let 'em rowhim toWestminster, which he was disinclined to, as he was for more Speede, and had promisedErasmusan earlie Caste toLambeth; howbeit, he consented that they should pull us up toPutneyin the Evening, andWilliamshould have the Stroke-oar.Erasmussayd, he must thank theArchbishopfor his Present of a Horse; "tho' I'm full faine," he observed, "to believe it a Changeling. He is idle and gluttonish, as thin as a Wasp, and as ugly as Sin. Such a Horse, and such a Rider!"
In the EveningWillandRuperthad made 'emselves spruce enow, with Nosegays and Ribbons, and we tooke Water bravelie;—John Harrisin the Stern, playing the Recorder. We had the six-oared Barge; and whenRupert Allingtonwas tired of pulling, Mr.Clementtooke his Oar; and whenhewearied,John Harrisgave over playing the Pipe; butWilliamand Mr.Gunnelnever flagged.
Erasmuswas full of his Visitt to theArchbishop, who, as usuall, I think, had given him some Money.
"We sate down two hundred to Table," sayth he; "there was Fish, Flesh, and Fowl; butWarehamonlie played with his Knife, and drank noe Wine. He was very cheerfulle and accessible; he knows not what Pride is; and yet, of how much mighte he be proude! What Genius! What Erudition! what Kindnesse and Modesty! FromWareham, who ever departed in Sorrow?"
Landing atFulham, we had a brave Ramble thro' the Meadows.Erasmus, noting the poor Children a gathering the Dandelion and Milk-thistle for the Herb-market, was avised to speak of foraynHerbes and theire Uses, bothe for Food and Medicine.
"For me," saysFather, "there is manie a Plant I entertayn in my Garden and Paddock which the Fastidious woulde caste forthe. I like to teache my Children the Uses of common Things—to know, for Instance, the Uses of the Flowers and Weeds that grow in our Fields and Hedges. Manie a poor Knave's Pottage woulde be improved, if he were skilled in the Properties of the Burdock and Purple Orchis, Lady's-smock, Brook-lime, and Old Man's Pepper. The Roots of Wild Succory and Water Arrow-head mighte agreeablie change his Lenten Diet; and Glasswort afford him a Pickle for his Mouthfulle of Salt-meat. Then, there are Cresses and Wood-sorrel to his Breakfast, and Salep for his hot eveningMess. For his Medicine, there is Herb-twopence, that will cure a hundred Ills; Camomile, to lull a raging Tooth; and the Juice of Buttercup to cleare his Head by sneezing. Vervain cureth Ague; and Crowfoot affords the leaste painfulle of Blisters. St.Anthony'sTurnip is an Emetic; Goose-grass sweetens the Blood; Woodruffe is good for the Liver; and Bindweed hath nigh as much Virtue as the forayn Scammony. Pimpernel promoteth Laughter; and Poppy, Sleep: Thyme giveth pleasant Dreams; and an Ashen Branch drives evil Spirits from the Pillow. As for Rosemarie, I lett it run alle over my Garden Walls, not onlie because my Bees love it, but because 'tis the Herb sacred to Remembrance, and, therefore, to Friendship, whence a Sprig of it hath a dumb Language that makethit the chosen Emblem at our Funeral Wakes, and in our Buriall Grounds. Howbeit, I am a Schoolboy prating in Presence of his Master, for here isJohn Clementat my Elbow, who is the best Botanist and Herbalist of us all."
—Returning Home, the Youths being warmed with rowing, and in high Spiritts, did entertayn themselves and us with manie Jests and Playings upon Words, some of 'em forced enow, yet provocative of Laughing. Afterwards, Mr.Gunnelproposed Enigmas and curious Questions. Among others, he woulde know which of the famous Women of Greece or Rome we Maidens would resemble.Besswas forCornelia,DaisyforClelia, but I forDamo, Daughter ofPythagoras, whichWilliam Roperdeemed stupid enow, and thoughte I mighte have found as good a Daughter, that had not died a Maid.SaythErasmus, with his sweet, inexpressible Smile, "Now I will tell you, Lads and Lasses, what manner of ManIwould be, if I were notErasmus. I woulde step back some few Years of my Life, and be half-way 'twixt thirty and forty; I would be pious and profounde enow for the Church, albeit noe Churchman; I woulde have a blythe, stirring, English Wife, and half-a-dozen merrie Girls and Boys, an English Homestead, neither Hall nor Farm, but betweene both; neare enow to the Citie for Convenience, but away from its Noise. I woulde have a Profession, that gave me some Hours daylie of regular Businesse, that should let Men know my Parts, and court me into Publick Station, for which my Taste made me rather withdrawe. I woulde have such a private Independence, as should enable me togive and lend, rather than beg and borrow. I woulde encourage Mirthe without Buffoonerie, Ease without Negligence; my Habitt and Table shoulde be simple, and for my Looks I woulde be neither tall nor short, fat nor lean, rubicund nor sallow, but of a fayr Skin with blue Eyes, brownish Beard, and a Countenance engaging and attractive, soe that alle of my Companie coulde not choose but love me."
"Why, then, you woulde beFatherhimselfe," criesCecy, clasping his Arm in bothe her Hands with a Kind of Rapture; and, indeede, the Portraiture was soe like, we coulde not but smile at the Resemblance.
Arrived at the Landing,Fatherprotested he was wearie with his Ramble; and, his Foot slipping, he wrenched his Ankle, and sate for an Instante on aBarrow, the which one of the Men had left with his Garden-tools, and before he could rise or cry out,William, laughing, rolled him up to the House-door; which, consideringFather'sWeight, was much for a Stripling to doe.Fathersayd the same, and, laying his Hand onWill'sShoulder with Kindnesse, cried, "Bless thee, my Boy, but I woulde not have thee overstrayned likeBitonandCleobis."
More in the Barrow.
June 20.
This Morn, hinting toBessthat she was lacing herselfe too straitlie, she brisklie replyed, "One would think 'twere as great Meritt to have a thick Waiste as to be one of the earlie Christians!"
These humourous Retorts are ever at her Tongue's end; and albeit, asJackyone Day angrilie remarked when she had beene teazing him, "Bess, thy Witt is Stupidnesse;" yet, for one who talks soe much at Random, no one can be more keene when she chooseth.Fathersayd of her, half fondly, half apologeticallie, toErasmus, "Her Wit hath a fine Subtletie that eludes you almoste before you have Time to recognize it for what it really is." To whichErasmusreadilie assented,adding, that it had the rare Meritt of playing less on Persons than Things, and never on bodilie Defects.
Hum!—I wonder if they ever sayd as much in Favour of me. I know, indeede,Erasmuscalls me a forward Girl. Alas! that may be taken in two Senses.
Grievous Work, overnighte, with the churning. Nought would persuadeGillianbut that the Creame was bewitched byGammer Gurney, who was dissatisfyde last Friday with her Dole, and hobbled away mumping and cursing. At alle Events, the Butter would not come; butMotherwas resolute not to have soe much good Creame wasted; soe sent forBessand me,DaisyandMercy Giggs; and insisted on our churning in turn till the Butter came, if we sate up alle Night for 't. 'Twas a hard Saying; and mighte have hampered her like asJephthahis rash Vow: howbeit,soe soone as she had left us, we turned it into a Frolick, and sangChevy Chasefrom end to end, to beguile Time; ne'erthelesse, the Butter would not come; soe then we grew sober, and, at the Instance of sweeteMercy, chaunted the 119th Psalme; and, by the Time we had attained to "Lucerna Pedibus," I hearde the Buttermilk separating and splashing in righte earneste. 'Twas neare Midnighte, however; andDaisyhad fallen asleep on the Dresser.Gillianwill ne'er be convinced but that our Latin brake the Spell.
21st.
Erasmuswent toRichmondthis Morning withPolus, (for soe he LatinizesReginald Pole, after his usual Fashion,) and some other of his Friends. On his Return, he madeus laugh at the following. They had clomb the Hill, and were admiring the Prospect, whenPole, casting his Eyes aloft, and beginning to make sundrie Gesticulations, exclaimed, "What is it I beholde? May Heaven avert the Omen!" with suchlike Exclamations, which raised the Curiositie of alle. "Don't you beholde," cries he, "that enormous Dragon flying through the Sky? his Horns of Fire? his curly Tail?"
"No," saysErasmus, "nothing like it. The Sky is as cleare as unwritten Paper."
Howbeit, he continued to affirme and to stare, untill at lengthe, one after another, by dint of strayning theire Eyes and theire Imaginations, did admitt, first, that they saw Something; next, that it mighte be a Dragon; and last, that it was. Of course, on theire Passage homeward, theycould talk of little else—some made serious Reflections; others, philosophicall Speculations; andPolewaggishly triumphed in having beene the Firste to discerne the Spectacle.
"And you trulie believe there was a Signe in the Heavens?" we inquired ofErasmus.
"What know I?" returned he smiling; "you know,Constantinesaw a Cross. Why shouldePolusnot see a Dragon? We must judge by the Event. Perhaps its Mission may be to fly away withhim. He swore to the curly Tail."
How difficulte it is to discerne the supernatural from the incredible! We laughe atGillian'sFaith in our Latin;Erasmuslaughs atPolushis Dragon. Have we a righte to believe noughte but what we can see or prove? Nay, that will never doe.Fathersays a Capacitiefor reasoning increaseth a Capacitie for believing. He believes there is such a Thing as Witchcraft, though not that poore oldeGammer Gurneyis a Witch; he believes that Saints can work Miracles, though not in alle the Marvels reported of theCanterburyShrine.
Had I beene Justice of the Peace, like the King's Grandmother, I would have beene very jealous of Accusations of Witchcraft; and have taken infinite Payns to sift out the Causes of Malice, Jealousie, &c., which mighte have wroughte with the poore olde Women's Enemies.Holie Writsayth, "Thou shalt not suffer a Witch to live;" but, questionlesse, manie have suffered Hurte that were noe Witches; and for my Part, I have alwaies helde ducking to be a very uncertayn as well as very cruel Teste.
I cannot helpe smiling, whenever Ithink of my Rencounter withWilliamthis Morning. Mr.Gunnellhad set meHomer'stiresome List of Ships; and, because of the excessive Heate within Doors, I took my Book into the Nuttery, to be beyonde the Wrath of far-dartingPhœbus Apollo, where I clomb into my favourite Filbert Seat. Anon comesWilliamthrough the Trees without seeing me; and seats him at the Foot of my Filbert; then, out with his Tablets, and, in a Posture I should have called studdied, had he known anie one within Sighte, falls a poetizing, I question not. Having noe Mind to be interrupted, I lett him be, thinking he would soone exhaust the Vein; but a Caterpillar dropping from the Leaves on to my Page, I was fayn, for Mirthe sake, to shake it down on his Tablets. As ill Luck would have it, however, the little Reptile onlie fell amonghis Curls; which soe took me at Vantage that I coulde not helpe hastilie crying, "I beg your Pardon." 'Twas worth a World to see his Start! "Why!" cries he, looking up, "are there indeedeHamadryads?" and would have gallanted a little, but I bade him hold down his Head, while that with a Twig I switched off the Caterpillar. Neither coulde forbeare laughing; and then he sued me to step downe, but I was minded to abide where I was. Howbeit, after a Minute's Pause, he sayd, in a grave, kind Tone, "Come, little Wife;" and taking mine Arm steadilie in his Hand, I lost my Balance and was faine to come down whether or noe. We walked for some Timejuxta Fluvium; and he talked not badlie of his Travels, insomuch as I founde there was really more in him than one would think.
Margaret in the Tree.
—Was there ever Aniething soe perverse,unluckie, and downrighte disagreeable? We hurried our Afternoone Tasks, to goe on the Water with myFather; and, meaning to give Mr.GunnelmyLatinTraduction, which is in a Booke like unto this, I never knew he had my Journalle insteade, untill that he burst out a laughing. "Soe this is the famousLibellus," quoth he.... I never waited for another Word, but snatcht it out of his Hand; which he, for soe strict a Man, bore well enow. I do not believe he could have read a Dozen Lines, and they were towards the Beginning; but I should hugelie like to know which Dozen Lines they were.
Hum! I have a Mind never to write another Word. That will be punishing myselfe, though, insteade ofGunnel. And he bade me not take it to Heart like the lateBishop of Durham, to whom a likeAccident befel, which soe annoyed him that he died of Chagrin. I will never again, howbeit, write Aniething savouring ever soe little of Levitie or Absurditie. The Saints keepe me to it! And, to know it from my Exercise Book, I will henceforthe bind a blue Ribbon round it. Furthermore, I will knit the sayd Ribbon in soe close a Knot, that it shall be worth no one else's Payns to pick it out. Lastlie, and for entire Securitie, I will carry the Same in my Pouch, which will hold bigger Matters than this.
22nd.
This Daye, at Dinner, Mr.Clementtooke the Pistoller's Place at the Reading-desk; and, insteade of continuing the Subject in Hand, read a Paraphrase of the 103rde Psalm; theFaithfulnesse and elegant Turne of which,Erasmushighlie commended, though he took Exceptions to the Phrase "renewing thy Youth like that of the Phœnix," whose fabulous Story he believed to have beene unknowne to the Psalmist, and, therefore, however poeticall, unfitt to be introduced. A deepe Blush on sweetMercy'sFace ledd to the Detection of the Paraphrast, and drew on her some deserved Commendations.Erasmus, turning to myFather, exclaymed with Animation, "I woulde call this House the Academy ofPlato, were it not Injustice to compare it to a Place where the usuall Disputations concerning Figures and Numbers were onlie occasionallie intersperst with Disquisitions concerning the moral Virtues." Then, in a graver Mood, he added, "One mighte envie you, but that your precious Privileges arebound up with soe paynfulle Anxieties. How manie Pledges have you given to Fortune!"
"If my Children are to die out of the Course of Nature, before theire Parents,"Fatherfirmly replyed, "I would rather they died well-instructed than ignorant."
"You remind me," rejoynsErasmus, "ofPhocion; whose Wife, when he was aboute to drink the fatal Cup, exclaimed, 'Ah, my Husband! you die innocent.' 'And woulde you, my Wife,' he returned, 'have me die guilty?'"
Awhile after,Gonellusaskt leave to seeErasmushis Signet-ring, which he handed down to him. In passing it back,William, who was occupyde in carving a Crane, handed it so negligentlie that it felle to the Ground. I never saw such a Face asErasmusmade, when 'twas picked outfrom the Rushes! And yet, ours are renewed almost daylie, which manie think over nice. He took it gingerlie in his faire, Woman-like Hands, and washed and wiped it before he put it on; which escaped not my Step-mother's displeased notice. Indeede, theseDutchmenare scrupulouslie cleane, thoughMothercalls 'em swinish, because they will eat raw Sallets; though, for that Matter,Fatherloves Cresses and Ramps. She alsoe mislikesErasmusfor eating Cheese and Butter together with his Manchet; or what he callsBoetram; and for being, generallie, daintie at his Sizes, which she sayth is an ill Example to soe manie young People, and becometh not one with soe little Money in 's Purse: howbeit, I think 'tis not Nicetie, but a weak Stomach, which makes him loathe our Salt-meat Commons from Michaelmasse to Easter, andeschew Fish of the coarser Sort. He cannot breakfaste on colde Milk, likeFather, but liketh Furmity a little spiced. At Dinner, he pecks at, rather than eats, Ruffs and Reeves, Lapwings, or anie smalle Birds it may chance; but affects Sweets and Subtilties, and loves a Cup of Wine or Ale, stirred with Rosemary.Fathernever toucheth the Wine-cup but to grace a Guest, and loves Water from the Spring. We growing Girls eat more than either; andFathersays he loves to see us slice away at the Cob-loaf; it does him goode. What a kind Father he is! I wish myStep-motherwere as kind. I hate all sneaping and snubbing, flowting, fleering, pinching, nipping, and such-like; it onlie creates Resentment insteade of Penitence, and lowers the Minde of either Partie.Gillianthrows a Rolling-pin at the Turnspit's Head, and we call it Low-life;but we looke for such Unmannerlinesse in the Kitchen. A Whip is onlie fit forTisiphone.
As we rose from Table, I notedArguspearcht on the Window-sill, eagerlie watching for his Dinner, which he looketh for as punctuallie as if he could tell the Diall; and to please the good, patient Bird, till the Scullion broughte him his Mess of Garden-stuff, I fetched him some Pulse, which he took from mine Hand, taking good Heede not to hurt me with his sharp Beak. While I was feeding him,Erasmuscame up, and asked me concerningMercy Giggs; and I tolde him how that she was a friendlesse Orphan, to whom deareFatherafforded Protection and the run of the House; and tolde him of her Gratitude, her Meekness, her Patience, her Docilitie, her Aptitude for alle goode Works and Alms-deeds; andhow, in her little Chamber, she improved eache spare Moment in the Way of Studdy and Prayer. He repeated "Friendlesse? she cannot be called Friendlesse, who hathMorefor her Protector, and his Children for Companions;" and then woulde heare more of her Parents' sad Story. Alsoe, would hear somewhat ofRupert Allington, and howFathergained his Lawsuit. Alsoe, ofDaisy, whose Name he tooke to be the true Abbreviation forMargaret, but I tolde him how that my Step-sister, andMercy, and I, being all three of a Name, and I being alwaies calledMeg, we had in Sport given one the Significative of her characteristic Virtue, and the other that of the FrenchMarguerite, which may indeed be rendered either Pearl or Daisy. AndChaucer, speaking of our English Daisy, saith
"Si douce est la Marguerite."