We, the undersigned members of the Lower Fourth form of Merivale beg to express our great regret for having tried to make the Honourable Howard Fortescue go to the Front. We freely confess we ought not to have done so and that we were much deluded. We utterly did not know that he had got an aorta, and we are very sorry that he has, and we hope that he will soon recover from it. And we beg to say that we think his poem the best poem we have ever read and also better than Virgil. And we hope that he will overlook it on this occasion and are willing to do anything he may decide upon to show the extent of our great regret.(Signed) RUPERT MITCHELL,PATRICK RICE (his blood),ARTHUR ABBOTT.But nothing came of it. The Honourable Fortescue went on his way quite unmoved and treated us just as usual, without any sign of forgiveness or otherwise. And whether he ever reported our names to Dunston or not, we never knew. But I don't think he did. At any rate, he must have said the apology was enough; which it certainly was. And the end justified the means, as they say, because the whole holiday at half-term passed off as usual.THE COUNTRYMAN OF KANTDr. Dunston had a way of introducing a new chap to the school after prayers. The natural instinct of a new chap, of course, is to slide in quietly and slowly settle down, first in his class and then in the school; but old Dunston doesn't allow this. When a new boy turns up, he jaws over him, and prophesies about him, and says we shall all like him, and so on; and if the new chap's father is anybody, which he sometimes happens to be, then Dunston lets us know it. The result is that he generally puts everybody off a new chap from the first; but the Fifth and Sixth allow for this. As Travers major pointed out, it's a rum instinct of human nature to hate anything you are ordered to like, and to scoff at anything you are ordered to admire; so, thanks to Travers, who is frightfully clever in his way, and, in fact, going to Woolwich next term, we always allowed for the Doctor's great hope about a new boy, and didn't let it put us off him. As a matter of fact, Dunston often withdrew the praise afterwards, and we noticed, for some queer reason, that if a boy had a celebrated father, he always turned out to be the sort that Dunston hated most; and often and often, when he had to rag or flog that sort of boy, the Doctor fairly wept to think what the boy's celebrated father would say if he could see him now.When Jacob Wundt came to Merivale, Dunston just went the limit about him; and it was all the more footling because Wundt grinned, and evidently highly approved of what was said about him. He was the first German the Doctor had ever had for a pupil, I believe--anyway, the first in living memory--so, perhaps, naturally he got a bit above himself about it; and Wundt got a bit above himself, too."In Jacob Wundt we embrace one from the Hamlet among nations," began Dr. Dunston. "In Jacob Wundt we welcome the countryman of Kant and Schiller, the contemporary of Eucken and Harnack! Moreover, Colonel von Wundt, his esteemed parent, occupies a position of some importance in the Fatherland, and has done no small part to perfect the magnificent army that great nation is known to possess."Well, we looked at Jacob Wundt, and saw one of the short, fat sort, with puddingy limbs and yellowish hair close-cropped, and a fighting sort of head. He looked straight at you, but he never looked at anybody as though he liked them, and we jolly soon found he didn't.As to Dr. Dunston's German heroes, we only knew one name, and that was Schiller; but as the Fifth and Sixth happened to be swotting "The Robbers" for an exam., and as "The Robbers" happens to be a ripping good thing in its way, we were not disinclined to be friendly to Wundt, as far as the Fifth and Sixth can be friendly to a new boy low in the school.We soon found that Wundt was very un-English in his ideas, also in his manners and customs. He could talk English well enough to explain what he meant, and we soon found that he thought a jolly sight too well of Germany and a jolly sight too badly of England. At first we thought he had been sent to Merivale to make him larger-minded, so that he could go back and make other Germans more larger-minded, too. But he said it was nothing of the kind. He hadn't come to England to learn our ways--which were beastly, in his opinion--but to get perfect in our language, which might be useful to him when he became a soldier.He was very peculiar, and did things I never knew a boy do before. And the most remarkable thing he did was always to be looking on ahead to when he was grown up. Of course, everybody knows they're going to grow up, and some chaps are even keen about it in a sort of way, but very few worry about it like Wundt did. I said to him once--"What the dickens are you always wanting time to pass for, so that you may be grown up? I can tell you it isn't all beer and skittles being a man. At any rate, I've often heard my father say he wishes he was young again.""He may," answered Wundt. "You've told me your father was an 'International' and a 'Blue,' and no doubt he'd like to excel at football again. But I despise games, and I've got very good reasons for wanting to grow up, which are private."Of course, he didn't put it in such good English as that, but that was the sense of it.He wasn't what you call a success generally, for he didn't like work, except history; and he hated our history, and there wasn't much doing at Merivale in the matter of German history. But he took to English well, and would always talk it if he could get anybody to listen, which wasn't often. He said it was all rot about English being a difficult language. He thought it easy and feeble at best. All his people could speak it--in fact, everybody in Germany could, when it suited them to do so.As for games, he had no use for them; but he was sporting in his own way. His favourite sport consisted in going out of bounds; and he showed very decent strategy in doing so, and gave even Norris and Booth a tip or two. Norris and Booth had made a fair art of trespassing in private game preserves, at the Manor House and other such places round about Merivale. In fact, game preserves were just common or garden Sunday walks to them. But they had been caught by a gamekeeper once and both flogged; and Wundt showed them how a reverse like that need never have happened. He could turn his coat inside out, and do other things of that sort, which were very deceptive even to the trained gamekeeper eye; and, finding a scarecrow in a turnip field, he took it, and as it consisted of trousers and coat and an old billycock hat, Wundt was now in possession of a complete disguise. He hid the things in a secret haunt, that really belonged to Norris and Booth; and they liked him at first and helped him a good deal; but finally they quarrelled with him, because he said England was a swine's hole, and told them that a time was coming--he hoped not till he grew up--when England would simply be a Protectorate of Germany, whatever that is. So they invited him to fight whichever he liked of them, and when he refused, though just the right weight, they smacked his head and dared him to go to their secret cave again.When they smacked his head, his eyes glittered and he smiled, but nothing more. He never would fight with fists, because he said only apes and Englishmen fought with Nature's weapons. But at single-stick he was exceedingly good, and, in fact, better than anybody in the school but Forrester. He much wished we could use swords and slash each other's faces, as he hoped to do when he became a student in his own country, and he said it was a mean sight to see old Dunston and Brown and Manwaring and Hutchings and the other masters all without a scratch. He said in Germany every self-respecting man of the reigning classes was gashed to the bone; and decent people wouldn't know a man who wasn't, because he was sure to be a shopkeeper or some low class thing like that. As to games, he held them in great contempt. It seems people of any class in Germany only play one game and that's the war game--Kriegspiel, he called it.I said: "What the deuce is the good of always playing the war game if you're not going to war?"And he said: "Ach!"It was a favourite word of his, and he used it in all sorts of ways with all sorts of expressions. Forbes, who, like me, had a kind of interest in Wundt that almost amounted to friendship, asked him if women played the war game, and he said he didn't know what they played except the piano. All women were worms, in his opinion. Of course, he gassed about everything German, and said that, from science and art and music to matchboxes and sausages, his country was first and the rest nowhere. He joined our school cadet corps eagerly, and became an officer of some sort in a month; but he was fearfully pitying about it, and said that English ways of drilling were enough to make a cat laugh, or words to that effect. After he became an officer, he put on fearful side, though as just one of the rank and file he'd been quite humble; and then, when he ordered Saunders, who wasn't an officer, to do something out of drill hours, and Saunders told him to do it himself, he turned white and dashed at Saunders, who, of course, licked him on the spot and made his nose bleed. He was properly mad about that, and said that if it had happened in Germany, Saunders would have been shot; but as it happened in England, of course Saunders wasn't. Travers major tried to explain to Wundt that we weren't real soldiers, and that, when not with the cadet corps, he was no better than anybody else, but he couldn't see this. He said that in his country if you were once an officer, you were always an officer, and that there was a gulf fixed between the men and their officers; and he called Saunders "cannon fodder" to Batson; and when Batson told Saunders, Saunders made Wundt carry him on his back up to the gym., and there licked him again and made his nose bleed once more, much to his wrath.On the whole, owing to his ideas, which he wouldn't keep to himself, Wundt didn't have too good a time at Merivale. He couldn't understand us, and said we were slackers and rotters, and that our mercenary army was no good, and that Germany was the greatest country in the world, and we'd live to know it--perhaps sooner than we thought. Travers major tried hard to explain to him how it was, but he couldn't or wouldn't understand.Travers said: "It's like this. Germany takes herself too seriously and other countries not seriously enough. An Englishman is always saying his own country is going to the dogs, and his Army's rotten, and his Navy only a lot of old sardine tins that ought to be scrapped, and all that sort of thing. That's his way, and when you bally Germans hear us talk like that, you go and believe it, and don't understand it's our national character to run ourselves down. And you chaps always go to the other extreme and brag about your army, and your guns, and your discipline, and your genius, and all the rest of it; and, of course, we don't believe you in the least, because gas like that carries its own reward, and nobody in the world could be so much better than all the rest of the world as you think you are. And if you imagine, because we run ourselves down, we would let anybody else dare to run us down, you're wrong. And if you think our free army is frightened of your slave army, and would mind taking you on, ten to one, on land or sea, you're also wrong."It was a prophecy in a way, though Travers little knew it, for the war broke out next holidays, and when we went back to school, it was in full swing. And so, naturally, was Wundt. He wasn't going home for the vac. in any case, but stopping at Merivale, and he had done so. He told me the Doctor had talked some piffle to him about the duties of non-combatants; but, as Wundt truly said, every German in the world is a combatant in time of war, and if you can't do one thing, you must try and do another. In fact, old Dunston little knew the German character, and when he found it out, he was a good bit astonished, not to say hurt.He, however, discovered it jolly quickly, and I did first of all, because, owing to being rather interested in human nature, I encouraged Wundt in a sort of way, and let him talk to me, and tried to see things from his point of view, as far as I could--that is, without doing anything unsporting to England. The great point was to keep your temper with Wundt; and, of course, most chaps couldn't, because he was so beastly sure he was right--at least, his nation was. But I didn't mind all that humbug, and found, by being patient with him, that, under all this flare-up, he was what you might call deadly keen on his blessed Fatherland. He fairly panted with patriotism, and in these moments, quite ignored my feelings."Now you know why I wanted to grow up," he said to me. "I hoped this wouldn't have happened till I could be in it. But it will be all over and your country a thing of the past before I'm sixteen--worse luck!"As he was going to be sixteen in October, that was a bit hopeful of Wundt. His father or somebody had stuffed him up that Germany was being sat on by the world, and couldn't stand it much longer; and after the war began, he honestly believed that it was the end of England, and, in a way, he was more decent than ever he'd been before. When we came back at the end of the holidays, Wundt welcomed me in a very queer sort of manner. Somebody had treated me just the same in the past, and, after trying for a week to think who it was, I remembered it was my Uncle Samuel, after I'd lost my mother. Wundt evidently felt sorry for all of us in general and for me in particular as his special friend."Of course," he said, "I can't pretend I didn't want it to happen; but you won't see it is for the good of the world that your country's got to go down. And so I'm sorry for you, if anything.""Do you really think it has got to go down?" I asked Wundt, and he said it wasn't so much what he thought as what was bound to take place."Either England's got to go, or else Germany," he said, "and as the Teuton is the world-power for religion and culture and everything that really matters, and also miles strongest, England's naturally got to go. You've had your turn; now it's ours. The Kaiser speaks, Germany listens and obeys."Booth asked him what day the Germans would be at Merivale, and if he'd got a plan of campaign marked out; and he said about the half-term holiday, or earlier, they would come. And Booth said that would mean a short term, anyway, which had its bright side.Then Tracey, who is awful sarcastic, though it doesn't generally come off, asked Wundt how he had arrived at this idea, and Wundt said from reading papers that his father had sent him via Holland."Your papers are chockful of lies," he said. "If you want the truth, those of you who can read German can see it in my papers."Of course, some of the Sixth could read German, and they borrowed his papers, and were much surprised that Wundt really believed such absolute rot against the evidence of our papers. But he was simply blind, and went so far as to say that he'd sooner believe the pettiest little German rag than all our swaggerest papers, let alone theMerivale Weekly Trumpet, which was fearfully warlike, because the editor had a son who was training for the Front.But most of all, Wundt hatedPunch, and, finding this out, we used to slip the cartoons into his desk, and put them under his pillow, and arrange them elsewhere where he must find them. These made him fairly foam at the mouth, and he said he hoped the first thing the Germans would do, when they got to London, would be to go toPunchand put the men who drew the pictures and made the jokes to the sword.No doubt it was because they were so jolly true.The masters were very decent to Wundt, especially Fortescue, who saw how trying it must be for him, living in an enemy's country; and when Wundt told me in secret that he felt his position was becoming unbearable, and that he had written and asked if he could be exchanged for a prisoner, or something. He said in a gloomy sort of voice: "I may tell you I haven't wasted my time here, and perhaps some day Doctor Dunston and you chaps will know it to your cost."Well, though friendly enough to Wundt, I didn't much like that, and told my own special chum, Manwaring, what he'd said; and Manwaring told me that in his opinion Wundt ought to be neutralised immediately. But I knew enough of Wundt to feel certain he could never be properly neutralised, because he had told me that once a German always a German, and that he'd rather be a dead German than a living King of England, and that if he had to stop in England for a million years, he'd still be as German as ever, if not more so. And he'd also fairly shaken with pride because he'd read somewhere that the Kaiser had said that he would give any doctor a hundred thousand marks if he would draw every drop of English blood out of his veins. And when he said it, Tracey had answered that if the Kaiser came over to England, there were plenty of doctors who would oblige him for half the money.But now I thought, without any unkind feeling to Wundt, that I ought to tell Travers major, as head of the school, of his dark threats; and I did; and Travers thanked me and said I was quite right to tell him, because war is war, and you never know.Of course, if Wundt was going to turn out to be a spy, it wasn't possible for me to be his friend, and I told him so. And he saw that. He said he was sorry, if anything, to lose my friendship, but he should always do all that he considered right in the service of his country, and he couldn't let me stand between him and his duty. Which amounted to admitting that he was a spy, or, at any rate, was trying to be one; for, of course, at Merivale a spy was no more use than he would have been at the North Pole. There was simply nothing to spy about, except the photographs of new girls on Brown's mantelpiece.Then Travers made a move, and he was sorry to do it; but he was going to be a soldier, just as much as Wundt was, and though he never jawed about Woolwich like Wundt did about Potsdam, yet he was quite as military at heart; and though he didn't wear the English colours inside his waistcoat lining, like Wundt wore the German colours, as he admitted to me in a friendly moment, yet Travers felt just as keen about England as Wundt did about Germany, and quite as cast down when we heard about Mons as Wundt was when he heard about the retreat on the Marne. He pretended, of course, it was only strategy, but he knew jolly well it wasn't.Then Travers major reluctantly decided that, with a spy, certain things must be done. He didn't like doing them, but they had to be done. And the first thing was to prove it."You can only prove a chap is a spy by spying yourself," Travers said, and well knowing the peculiar skill of Norris and Booth, he told them to keep a careful lookout on Wundt and report anything suspicious; which they did do, because it was work to which they were well suited by their natures, and they soon reported that Wundt went long walks out of bounds, and evidently avoided people as much as possible. Once they surprised him making notes, and when he saw Booth coming, he tore them up.Then Travers major did a strong thing, and ordered that the box of Wundt should be searched. I happened to know that Wundt was very keen to get a letter off by post, which he said was important, yet hesitated to send for fear of accidents; and that decided Travers.So it was done, quite openly and without subterfuge, as they say, because we just took the key from Wundt by force and told him we were going to do it, and then did it. He protested very violently, but the protest, as Travers said, was not sustained.And we found his box contained fearfully incriminating matter, for he had a one-barrelled breech-loading pistol in it, with a box of ammunition, of which we had never heard until that moment, and a complete map on a huge scale of Merivale and the country round. It was a wonderful map, and how he had made it, and nobody ever seen it, was extraordinary. At least, so it seemed, till we remembered that he had been here through the holidays on his own. There were numbers in red ink all over the map, and remarks carefully written in German; and though it is impossible to give you any idea of the map, which was beautifully drawn and about three yards square, if not more, yet I can reproduce the military remarks upon it, which Travers translated into English.They went like this, and showed in rather a painful way what Wundt really was at heart. And it showed what Germany was, too; and no doubt thousands of other Germans all over the United Kingdom had been doing the same thing, and still are.After the first shock of being discovered, I honestly believe he was pleased to be seen in his true colours, and gloried in his crime.These were the notes in cold blood, as you may say:--1.A wood. Good cover for guns. In the middle is a spring where a gamekeeper's wife gets water. It might easily be poisoned.2.A large number of fields. Some have potatoes in them and some have turnips.3.A village with fifty or sixty houses and about two hundred and thirty-five inhabitants, mostly women and children. Presents no difficulties.4.A church with a tower. A very good place for wireless or light gun. The pews inside would be good for wounded. Cover for infantry in the churchyard.5.A stream with one bridge, which might easily be blown up; but it would not be necessary, as the stream is only six feet across, and you could easily walk over it. Too small for pontoons. Small fish in it.6.A large field which was planted with corn, but is now empty. A good place for aeroplanes to land. Can't find out where corn is gone.7.A railroad with one line that goes up to main line. Could easily be destroyed, but might have strategic value.8.A hill where guns could be placed that would cover advance of troops on Merivale.9.The school. This stands on rising ground a mile from the hill, No. 8, and could easily be destroyed by field-guns. Or it could easily be used as a hospital. It contains a hundred beds, and the chapel could easily hold a hundred more. There is a garden and a fountain of good water. Also a well in the house. The playing-field is a quarter of a mile off. Tents could easily be put up there for troops.10.A village schoolroom three hundred yards from the church. It has been turned into a hospital for casualties. There are thirteen or fourteen nurses of the Red Cross waiting for wounded soldiers to arrive. They are amateurs, but have passed some sort of examination. The wounded are said to be coming. This place could easily be shelled from the hill marked No. 8.11.A forest full of game, and in the middle of it a park and the Manor House, belonging to a man called Sir Neville Carew. He has great wealth, and the mansion could easily be looted, and then either used for officers or burned down.12.A farm rich in sheep and cattle and chickens, also turkeys. It would present no difficulties.13.The sea. This is distant ten miles from here, and there is an unfortified bay, which looks deep. We went there for a holiday last summer, and some of us went out in a boat. I pretended to fish and tried to take soundings, but regret to report that I failed. However, the water was quite deep enough for small battle-craft. The cliffs are red and made of hard rock. There are about twenty fishing-boats, and a coastguard station on top; but I saw no wireless. There is a semaphore.14.A medical doctor's house with a garage. Would present no difficulties. I saw petrol tins in the yard.That was all, and Travers at once decided to hand the map and the pistol and cartridges to Doctor Dunston."I'm very unwilling to do it," he said, "but this is a bit too thick altogether. It is pure, unadulterated spying of the most blackguard sort. And if I had anything to do with it, I should fine Wundt every penny he's got and imprison him for six months and then deport him."So he took the evidence of guilt to Dunston, and, of course, Dunston had the day of his life over them. Some of the masters considered it funny, and I believe Peacock, who translated the map for Dunston, thought it was rather fine of Wundt; but old Dunston didn't think it was funny, or fine, either. He had the whole school in chapel, and hung up the map on a blackboard, and waved the pistol first in one hand and then the other, and talked as only he can talk when he's fairly roused by a great occasion.I believe what hurt him most was Wundt saying it would be so jolly easy to knock out Merivale; and to hear Wundt explaining how the school could be shelled fairly made old Dunston get on his hind legs. In his great moments he always quotes Shakespeare, and he did now. He said he wasn't going to have a serpent sting him twice, anyway. He also said it was enough to make Kant and Goethe turn in their graves; and, that for all he could see, they had expended their genius in vain, so far as their native land was concerned. And then he went on."Needless to say, Jacob Wundt, you are technically expelled. I say 'technically,' because, until I have communicated with your unfortunate father, it is impossible literally to expel you. To be expelled, a boy must be expelled from somewhere to somewhere, and for the moment there is nowhere that I know of to where you can be expelled. But rest assured that a way shall be found at the earliest opportunity. Indeed, it may be my duty to hand you over to the military authorities, and, should that be the case, I shall not hesitate. For the present you are interned."Wundt merely said "Ach!" but he said it in such a fearfully contemptuous tone of voice that the Doctor flogged him then and there; and Travers major thought Wundt ought not to have been flogged by rights, but treated as a prisoner of war, or else shot--he didn't seem to be sure which.And as for Wundt, he evidently thought the Belgian atrocities were a fool to his being flogged; and he got so properly wicked that the Doctor had him locked up all night, with nothing but bread and water to eat, and the gardener to guard him.Then a good many chaps began to be sorry for Wundt; but their sorrow was wasted, for the very next day Dunston heard from his father that Wundt could go home through Holland, with two other German boys who were being looked after by the American Ambassador, or some such pot in London. So he went, and after he had gone, Fortescue asked the Doctor if he might have Wundt's map, as a psychological curiosity, or some such thing, and Dunston said he had burned the map to cinders, and seemed a good deal pained with Fortescue for wanting to treasure such an outrage.Wundt promised to write to me when he left; but he never did, and, perhaps, if it's true that German boys of sixteen go to the Front, he may be there now. And if he is, and if his side wins, and if Wundt is with the Germans when they come to Merivale, I know the first thing he'll do will be to slay old Dunston, and the second thing he'll do will be to slay Saunders.But in the meantime, of course, there is a pretty rosy chance he may get slain himself. Not that he'd mind, if he knew his side was on top and going to conquer. Only, perish the thought, as they say.TRAVERS MINOR, SCOUTBefore the fearful war with Germany began, Dr. Dunston was not very keen about us joining the Boy Scouts on half-holidays. He liked better for us to play games; and if you didn't play games, he liked you to go out with Brown to botanize in the hedges. It was a choice of evils to me and Travers minor, because we hated games and we fairly loathed botanizing with Brown. Unluckily for us, he was the Forum master of the Lower Fourth, and so we had more than enough of him in school, without seeing him pull weeds to pieces on half-holidays and talk about the wonders of Nature. For that matter, he was about the wonderfullest wonder of Nature himself, if he'd only known it.But after the War began, old Dunston quite changed his attitude to the Boy Scouts, and, in some ways, that was the best thing that ever happened for me and Travers minor, though in other ways it was not.I'm called Briggs, and Travers minor and I came the same term and chummed from the first. We had the same opinions about most things, and agreed about hating games and preferring a more solitary life; but we were very different in many respects, for Travers minor was going to be a clergyman, and I had no ideas of that sort, my father being a stock broker in the "Brighton A" market. Travers minor was more excitable than Travers major, though quite as keen about England, and after being divided for some time between the Navy and the Church, he rather cleverly combined the two professions, and determined to be the chaplain of a battleship. His enthusiasm for England was very remarkable, and after a time, though I had never been the least enthusiastic about England before, yet, owing to the pressure of Travers minor, I got to be. Nothing like he was, of course. He used to fairly tremble about England, and once, when an Irish boy, who didn't know Home Rule had been passed, said he'd just as soon blow his nose on the Union Jack as his handkerchief--which was rot, seeing he never had one--young Travers flew at him like a tiger from a bow, and knocked him down and hammered the back of his head on the floor of the chapel. As soon as he had recovered from his great surprise, the Irish boy--Rice he was called--got up and licked Travers minor pretty badly, which he could easily do, being cock of the Lower School; but, all the same, Rice respected Travers, for doing what he did, and when he heard that Home Rule was passed, he said that altered the case, and never cheeked the English flag again.Then Dunston changed towards the Boy Scouts, and said such of us as liked might join them; and about twenty did. We were allowed to hunt about in couples on half-holidays; and the rule for a Boy Scout is always to be on the look-out to justify his existence when scouting, and to assist people, and help the halt and the lame, and tell people the way if they want to know it, and buck about generally, and, if possible, never stop a bit of scouting till he's done a good action of some kind to somebody. Of course, we had to do our good actions in bounds, and Travers minor often pointed out, as a rather curious thing, that over and over again there were chances to do good actions if we'd gone out of bounds--sometimes even over a hedge into a field.But he generally found something useful to do, and I generally didn't. The good action that occurred oftenest was to give pennies to tramps, but Travers did not support this. He said:"I dare say you've noticed, Briggs, that all these chaps who ask us for money have got starving families at home. Well, if it's true, they ought to be at home looking after them. But it isn't true. As a rule, they spend the money on beer. And when you ask them why they haven't enlisted, they all say they're too short, or too tall, or haven't got any back teeth, or something."We were scouting the day Travers minor pointed this out, and that was the very afternoon that we met the best tramp of the lot. I should have believed him myself and tried to help him; but Travers, strangely enough, is much kinder to animals and dumb creatures in general than he is to men, especially tramps, and it took a very clever tramp to make him believe him. But this one did.He was old and grizzled and grey, and his moustache was yellow with tobacco. He was sitting rolling a cigarette in the hedge, and as we passed together in uniform with our scout poles, he got up and saluted us with a military salute."What a bit of luck!" he said. "You're just the chaps I'm on the look-out for."Travers stopped and so did I."D'you want anything, my good man?" said Travers."Yes, I do. I want a sharp Boy Scout to listen to me. I'm telling secrets, mind you; but you're in the Service just as much as I am, and I can trust you.""What Service?" asked Travers minor. "What Service are you in?""The Secret Service," said the tramp. "I dare say you think I'm only a badgering old loafer, and not worth the price of the boots on my feet. Far from it. I'm Sir Baden-Powell's brother! That's why I was glad to see you boys come along.""I don't believe it," said Travers."Quite right not to," answered the old man. "That is, till I explain. As you know, the country's fairly crawling with German spies at present, and it takes a pretty good chap to smell them out. That's my game. I've run down thirty-two during the last month, and I'm on the track of a lot more; but to keep up my character of an old tramp, I dress like this; and then they don't suspect me, and I just meet 'em in pubs and stand 'em drinks, and tip 'em a bit of their lingo and pretend I'm German, too."I was a good deal impressed by this, and so was Travers minor."I've been standing drinks to a doubtful customer only this morning, and spent my last half-crown doing it," went on the great Baden-Powell's brother. "That's why I stopped you boys. I'm a good way from my base for the moment, and I shall be obliged if you can lend me half a sovereign, or whatever you've got on you, till to-morrow. If you let me have your address, you shall get it by midday; and I'll mention your names to 'B.-P.' next time we meet."Travers minor looked at the spy in a spellbound sort of way."It's a wonderful disguise," he said."Not one of my best, though," answered the man. "I never look the same two days running. Very likely to-morrow I shall be a smart young officer; and then, again, I may look like a farmer, or a clergyman, or anything. It's part of my work to be a master of the art of disguises."Travers minor began to whisper to me, and asked me how much money I had. Then the great spy spoke again."I might give you boys a job next Saturday afternoon, but you'll have to be pretty smart to do it. I'm taking a German then. I've marked him down at Little Mudborough--you know, a mile from Merivale--and on Saturday next, at 'The Wool Pack' public-house, I meet him and arrest him. I shall want a bit of help, I dare say."Travers fairly trembled with excitement after that. Then he felt in his pocket and found he'd only got a shilling, and this he gave to the spy without a thought; but I happened to have five shillings by an extraordinary fluke, it being my birthday, and Brown had changed a postal order from my mother; so I was not nearly so keen about the spy as Travers minor. Travers was a good deal relieved to hear I'd got as much, and even then apologised that we could only produce six bob between us.The spy seemed rather disappointed, and I made a feeble effort to keep my five shillings by saying:"Couldn't you get to the police-station? They'd be sure to have tons of money there."But at the mention of a police-station he showed the utmost annoyance, combined with contempt. He said: "What's your name?"And I said: "Briggs.""Well, Briggs," he said, "let me tell you, if there's one thing the Secret Service hates and despises more than another, it's a police-station; and if there's one bigger fool on earth than another, it's a policeman. It would very likely be death to my whole career as a spy, if I went to a policeman and told him who I was.""Don't you ever work with them, Mr. Baden-Powell?" asked Travers; and he said:"Never, if I can help it."So he had the six bob, much to my regret, and told us to be at "The Wool Pack" public-house at Mudborough on the following Saturday afternoon. He asked what would be the most convenient time for us to be there, and we said half-past three, and he said "Good!"Then Travers asked rather a smart question and said--"How shall we know you?"And the spy said:"I shall be disguised as a farmer, in gaiters and the sort of clothes farmers go to market in on Saturdays; and I shall be in the bar with other men. And one of these men will be a very dangerous German secret agent, who has a 'wireless' at his house. And when we've got him, we shall go to his house and destroy the 'wireless.' And now you'd better be getting on, or people will think it suspicious. And you shall have your money again next Saturday."So we left him, and the six shillings with him, and I was by no means so pleased and excited about it as Travers minor. Still, I was excited in a way, and hoped the following Saturday would be glorious; and Travers said it would undoubtedly be the greatest day we had spent up to that time.We had gone two hundred yards, and were wondering what the German would look like, and if he'd make a fight, when we were much startled by a man who suddenly jumped out of the hedge and stopped us.It was a policeman in a very excited frame of mind."What did that bloke up the road say to you?" he began; and Travers minor, remembering what contempt the great spy had for policemen, was rather haughty."Our conversation was private," he answered, and the policeman seemed inclined to laugh."I know what your conversation was, very well," he answered. "Soapy William wouldn't tire himself talking to you kids for fun. Did you give him any money?"In this insolent way the policeman dared to talk of Baden-Powell's brother!"His name is not Soapy William," answered Travers, who had turned red with anger, "and he's got no use for policemen, anyway.""No, you take your dying oath he hasn't," said the policeman. "If he told you that, he's broke the record and told you the truth. Did you give him money, or only a fag?'"We lent him money for a private purpose, and I'll thank you to let us pass," said Travers minor.But the policeman wouldn't."He's as slippery as an eel," he said, "and I've been waiting to cop him red-'anded for a fortnight. So now you'd better come and overtake him, for he's lame and can only crawl along. And when I talk to him, you'll be surprised.""You're utterly wrong," Travers minor told the policeman. "You're quite on the wrong scent, and if you interfere with that man, you'll very likely ruin your own career in the Force. He's much more powerful than you think."But the policeman said he'd chance that, and then, in the name of the law, he made us come and help him.It was a most curious experience. When we got there, the spy had disappeared, and the policeman, knowing that he could only go about one mile an hour, said he must be hidden somewhere near."And if you chaps are any good as scouts, now's your chance to show it," he said.By this time I began to believe the policeman, for he was a big man and very positive in his speech; but Travers hated him, and if he'd found the spy, I believe he would have said nothing. But I found him, or, rather, I found his boot. He had, no doubt, seen us stopped by the policeman, and then hastened to evade capture. There was a haystack in a field, and he had gone to it, and on one side, where it was cut open, there was a lot of loose hay, and he had concealed himself with the utmost cunning, all but one boot. This I observed just peeping out from a litter of loose hay, and not feeling equal to making the capture myself, I pretended I had not seen the boot, and went off and told the policeman, who was hunting some distance off, and also eating blackberries while he hunted.He was much pleased and hastened to make the capture; and when he arrived and he saw the boot, he said: "Hullo, Soapy, old pard! Got you this time, my boy!"Then the hay was cast aside, and the great spy; otherwise known as Soapy William, rose up.It was rather a solemn sight in a way, for he took it pretty calmly, and said he'd been wanting a fortnight's rest for a long time.After the capture, the policeman seemed to lose interest in Travers minor and me. In fact, he didn't even thank us, but he gave us back our money, and it was rather interesting to find that Soapy William, besides our six shillings, had the additional sum of two and sevenpence halfpenny also.Travers minor didn't speak one single word, going back to Merivale, until we were at the gates; then he said a thing which showed how fearfully he felt what had happened.He said:"It makes me feel almost in despair about going into the Church, Briggs, when there's such wickedness as that about."And I said:"I should think you would want to go in all the more."And afterwards, when we had changed and had tea, and we were in school, he got calmer and admitted I was right.But he took a gloomier view of human nature afterwards, and often, on scouting days, he said there was more satisfaction in helping a beetle across a road, or making a snail safe, than there was in trying to be useful to one's fellow-creatures.We had to go and give evidence against Soapy William before a Justice of the Peace two days later. In fact, it was Sir Neville Carew, who lived at the Manor House, and he seemed to be very much amused at our evidence, and almost inclined to let Soapy off. But he gave him a fortnight, and Soapy said to us as he 'oped we'd let the great Baden-Powell know how he was being treated; and everybody laughed, including Brown, who had gone to the court with us.But, after that, Dr. Dunston cooled off to the Boy Scouts a lot; and when the terrific adventure to Travers minor finally occurred, about three weeks after, Travers major said it was a Nemesis on old Dunston; and so undoubtedly it was.Though not actually in it, I heard all the particulars--in fact, everybody did, for naturally Dr. Dunston was the most famous person in Merivale, and when this remarkable thing overtook him, TheMerivale Weekly Trumpethad a column about it, and everybody for miles round called to see him and say how jolly glad they were it wasn't worse.It was a fierce afternoon, with the leaves flying and the rain coming down in a squally sort of way, and Travers minor and I went for a drill, and after the drill we scouted a bit on rather a lonely road where nothing was in the habit of happening. But, as Travers truly said, the essence of scouting is surprise, and because a road is a lonely and uneventful sort of road, it doesn't follow something may not happen unexpectedly upon it.He said:"No doubt the roads in the valley of the river Aisne, in France, have been pretty lonely in their time, but think of them last September!"So we went, and one motor passed us in two miles; and two dogs poaching together also passed, and in a field was a sheep which had got on its back and couldn't get up again, being too fat to do so. We pulled it up. In another field was a bull, and we tried to attract it, and scouted down a hedge within fifty yards of it, to see if it was dangerous, and warn people if it was; and I went to within forty yards of it, being a good twelve yards from the hedge at the time, but it paid no attention. Then, just at the end of the road, we came across an old woman sitting by the roadside in a very ragged and forlorn condition, with a basket of watercresses and also about twelve mushrooms.Thinking she might be lame, or otherwise in difficulties, Travers minor went up to her and said:"Good evening! D'you want anything?"And she said:"Yes, a plucky lot of things, but none of your cheek.""It wasn't meant for cheek. I'm a Scout," said Travers minor.And she said:"Oh, run along home and ask mother to let out your knickers, else you'll bust 'em!"Travers turned white with indignation, but such was his great idea of discipline, that he didn't tell her she was a drunken old beast, which she was, but just marched off. But he was fearfully upset, all the same, and, instead of pouring out his rage on the horrid old woman, he poured it out on me. He'd been a bit queer all day, owing to a row with Brown over a history lesson, in which Travers minor messed up the story of Charles II; and now, what with one thing and another, he lost his usual self-control and got very nasty.He said scouting with another person was no good--not with me, anyway.And I said:"What have I done?"And he said:"You're such a fathead--nothing ever happens when you're about!"I told him to keep his temper and not make a silly ass of himself. I also asked him what he thought was going to happen. I said:"We all know you're always ready for anything--from an Uhlan to a caterpillar--but it seems to me the essence of scouting is to keep wide awake when nothing is happening, like the fleet in the North Sea. Any fool can do things; the thing is always to be ready to do them, and not get your shirt out and lose your nerve because there's nothing to do."This good advice fairly settled Travers minor. He undoubtedly lost his temper, as he admitted afterwards, and he said:"When I want you to tell me my business, Briggs, I'll let you know."And I said:"Your first business is to keep your hair on, whatever happens."And he said:"Then I'll relieve you of my company, Briggs."And, before I could answer, he had got through the hedge and gone off over a field which ran along a wood. I watched him in silent amazement, as they say, and he crossed the field and entered the wood and disappeared.This action alone showed what a proper rage he was in, because he had gone into the Manor Woods, which was not only going out of bounds, but also trespassing--two things he never did. It was a fearful loss of nerve, and I stood quite still for a good minute after he vanished. Then my first idea was to go and lug him back; but discretion was always the better part of valour with me, and always will be, owing to my character; so I left Travers to his fate, and hoped he'd soon cool down and come back without meeting a keeper. It was growing dusk, too, and I went back to Merivale, and decided not to say anything about Travers minor, except that, while we were engaged in some scouting operations, I had missed him.I only heard the amazing tale of his adventure afterwards, and though everybody had the story in some shape or form, I got the naked truth from Travers minor himself in his own words. Next morning, much to our surprise, it was given out that Dr. Dunston was unwell, and Fortescue read prayers; and during that event Travers told me all."When I left you," he said, "I was in a filthy bate, and for once, instead of not wanting to trespass and break bounds, I did want to. And I went straight into the Manor Woods, and badly frightened some pheasants that had gone to roost, and was immediately soothed. They made a fearful row, and I thought a keeper would be sure to spring up from somewhere, and rather hoped one would, in order to afford me an opportunity for an escape. But nothing happened, and I decided to walk on till I came to the drive, and then boldly go along out of the lodge-gate. Well, I walked through the wood to the drive just before it got dark. I was looking out cautiously from the edge of the wood, to see that all was clear, when I observed a man sitting on the edge of the drive. For a moment I thought it was that wretched Soapy William again. He was humped up and nursing his foot which was evidently badly wounded. Then the man gave a sound between a sigh and a groan and a snuffle, and I saw it was Dr. Dunston!"Of course, it was the moment of my life, and I felt, in a sort of way, that my whole future career depended upon my next action. My first instinct, remembering that Norris and Booth were both flogged when caught here, was a strategic retreat; but then my duty as a Boy Scout occurred to me. It was a fearful choice of evils, you may say; for if I cleared out, I was disgraced for ever, and my mind couldn't have stood it, and if I went forward, I was also disgraced for ever, because to be flogged, to a chap with my opinions, is about the limit. I considered what should be done, and while I was considering, old Dunston groaned again and said out loud:"'Tut--tut! This is indeed a tragedy!'"That decided me, because the question of humanity came in, and looking on into the future in rather a remarkable way, I saw at once that if I retreated and heard next morning that old Dr. Dunston was found dead, I should feel the pangs of remorse for evermore, and they would ruin my life. I also felt that, if I saved him, he was hardly likely to flog me, because there would undoubtedly be a great feeling against him if he did.""You might have done this," I said. "You might have retreated, and then gone down to the lodge and told the woman that there was an injured man, in great agony, lying half-way up the drive. You might have given a false name yourself, and then, when the rescuing party started, you might have cleared out and so remained anonymous. It would have gone down to the credit of the Boy Scouts, and old Dunston would have been the first to see that the particular Boy Scout in question preferred, for private reasons, to keep his identification a secret."Travers was much impressed by this view."I never thought of that," he said. "Probably, if I had, I should have done it. Anyway, I'm sorry I swore at you and called you a fathead, Briggs. You're not a fathead--far from it."He then continued his surprising narrative in these words:"Anyway, I decided to rescue the Doctor, and stepped out of ambush and said:"'Good evening, sir. I'm afraid you're hurt.'"He was evidently very glad to see me; but you know his iron discipline. He kept it up even then."'What boy are you?' he asked, and I told him I was Travers minor from Merivale."'And how comes it you are here?' he asked again."'I was operating in the woods on my way home, sir, and I heard your cry of distress.'"'We will investigate your operations on another occasion, then,' said the Doctor. 'For the moment mine are more important. I have had a bad fall and am in great pain. You had better run as quickly as possible to the Manor House, ask to see Sir Neville Carew, and tell him that I have met with a very severe accident half-way down his drive. Whether I have broken my leg, or put out my ankle, it is not for me to determine. I have been drinking tea with Sir Neville and learning his views as to the War. Be as quick as you can. You will never have a better opportunity to display your agility.'"Then I hooked it and ran the half-mile or so to the Manor House, sprinting all the way. I soon gave the terrible news, and in about ten minutes Sir Neville Carew himself, with his butler and his footman, set off for the Doctor. And the footman trundled a chair which ran on wheels, and which Sir Neville Carew kindly explained to me he uses himself when he gets an attack of gout, which often happens, unfortunately."He didn't ask me how I discovered the accident, which was naturally rather a good thing for me; and when we got back to the Doctor, he told me to hasten on in advance and break the evil tidings. So I cleared out. And I've heard no more yet; but no doubt I shall soon."That was the great narrative of Travers minor, and after morning school Brown gave out that the Doctor's ankle was very badly sprained, but that things would take their course as usual, and a bulletin be put up on the notice-board in the evening.And it was, and it said the Doctor was better.Travers minor heard nothing until three days later, when the Doctor appeared on a crutch and read prayers. Then he had Travers up and addressed the school. And Travers saw at a glance that Dr. Dunston was still in no condition to flog him, even if the will was there.It ended brilliantly for Travers, really, because the Doctor said he had been an instrument of Providence, and he evidently felt you ought not to flog an instrument of Providence, whatever he's been doing. He reproved Travers minor pretty stiffly, all the same, and said that when he considered what a friend Sir Neville Carew was to the school, and how much he overlooked, and so on, it was infamous that any boy should even glance into his pheasant preserves, much less actually go into them. And Travers minor was finally ordered to spend a half-holiday in visiting Sir Neville Carew and humbly apologizing to him for his conduct. Which he did so, and Sir Neville Carew, on hearing from Travers that he would never do it again on any pretext whatever, was frightfully sporting and forgave him freely, and talked about the War, and reminded him about Sir Baden-Powell's brother, and ended by taking Travers minor into a glass-house full of luscious peaches and giving him two.And Travers kept one for me, because, he said, if it hadn't been for getting into a wax with me, he would never have trespassed and never have had the adventure at all.And I said it wasn't so much me as that beast of an old woman who told him his knickers were too tight."In strict honesty," I said, "she ought to have this peach."Then I ate it, and never want to eat a better. In fact, I kept the stone to plant when I went home.
We, the undersigned members of the Lower Fourth form of Merivale beg to express our great regret for having tried to make the Honourable Howard Fortescue go to the Front. We freely confess we ought not to have done so and that we were much deluded. We utterly did not know that he had got an aorta, and we are very sorry that he has, and we hope that he will soon recover from it. And we beg to say that we think his poem the best poem we have ever read and also better than Virgil. And we hope that he will overlook it on this occasion and are willing to do anything he may decide upon to show the extent of our great regret.
(Signed) RUPERT MITCHELL,PATRICK RICE (his blood),ARTHUR ABBOTT.
But nothing came of it. The Honourable Fortescue went on his way quite unmoved and treated us just as usual, without any sign of forgiveness or otherwise. And whether he ever reported our names to Dunston or not, we never knew. But I don't think he did. At any rate, he must have said the apology was enough; which it certainly was. And the end justified the means, as they say, because the whole holiday at half-term passed off as usual.
THE COUNTRYMAN OF KANT
Dr. Dunston had a way of introducing a new chap to the school after prayers. The natural instinct of a new chap, of course, is to slide in quietly and slowly settle down, first in his class and then in the school; but old Dunston doesn't allow this. When a new boy turns up, he jaws over him, and prophesies about him, and says we shall all like him, and so on; and if the new chap's father is anybody, which he sometimes happens to be, then Dunston lets us know it. The result is that he generally puts everybody off a new chap from the first; but the Fifth and Sixth allow for this. As Travers major pointed out, it's a rum instinct of human nature to hate anything you are ordered to like, and to scoff at anything you are ordered to admire; so, thanks to Travers, who is frightfully clever in his way, and, in fact, going to Woolwich next term, we always allowed for the Doctor's great hope about a new boy, and didn't let it put us off him. As a matter of fact, Dunston often withdrew the praise afterwards, and we noticed, for some queer reason, that if a boy had a celebrated father, he always turned out to be the sort that Dunston hated most; and often and often, when he had to rag or flog that sort of boy, the Doctor fairly wept to think what the boy's celebrated father would say if he could see him now.
When Jacob Wundt came to Merivale, Dunston just went the limit about him; and it was all the more footling because Wundt grinned, and evidently highly approved of what was said about him. He was the first German the Doctor had ever had for a pupil, I believe--anyway, the first in living memory--so, perhaps, naturally he got a bit above himself about it; and Wundt got a bit above himself, too.
"In Jacob Wundt we embrace one from the Hamlet among nations," began Dr. Dunston. "In Jacob Wundt we welcome the countryman of Kant and Schiller, the contemporary of Eucken and Harnack! Moreover, Colonel von Wundt, his esteemed parent, occupies a position of some importance in the Fatherland, and has done no small part to perfect the magnificent army that great nation is known to possess."
Well, we looked at Jacob Wundt, and saw one of the short, fat sort, with puddingy limbs and yellowish hair close-cropped, and a fighting sort of head. He looked straight at you, but he never looked at anybody as though he liked them, and we jolly soon found he didn't.
As to Dr. Dunston's German heroes, we only knew one name, and that was Schiller; but as the Fifth and Sixth happened to be swotting "The Robbers" for an exam., and as "The Robbers" happens to be a ripping good thing in its way, we were not disinclined to be friendly to Wundt, as far as the Fifth and Sixth can be friendly to a new boy low in the school.
We soon found that Wundt was very un-English in his ideas, also in his manners and customs. He could talk English well enough to explain what he meant, and we soon found that he thought a jolly sight too well of Germany and a jolly sight too badly of England. At first we thought he had been sent to Merivale to make him larger-minded, so that he could go back and make other Germans more larger-minded, too. But he said it was nothing of the kind. He hadn't come to England to learn our ways--which were beastly, in his opinion--but to get perfect in our language, which might be useful to him when he became a soldier.
He was very peculiar, and did things I never knew a boy do before. And the most remarkable thing he did was always to be looking on ahead to when he was grown up. Of course, everybody knows they're going to grow up, and some chaps are even keen about it in a sort of way, but very few worry about it like Wundt did. I said to him once--
"What the dickens are you always wanting time to pass for, so that you may be grown up? I can tell you it isn't all beer and skittles being a man. At any rate, I've often heard my father say he wishes he was young again."
"He may," answered Wundt. "You've told me your father was an 'International' and a 'Blue,' and no doubt he'd like to excel at football again. But I despise games, and I've got very good reasons for wanting to grow up, which are private."
Of course, he didn't put it in such good English as that, but that was the sense of it.
He wasn't what you call a success generally, for he didn't like work, except history; and he hated our history, and there wasn't much doing at Merivale in the matter of German history. But he took to English well, and would always talk it if he could get anybody to listen, which wasn't often. He said it was all rot about English being a difficult language. He thought it easy and feeble at best. All his people could speak it--in fact, everybody in Germany could, when it suited them to do so.
As for games, he had no use for them; but he was sporting in his own way. His favourite sport consisted in going out of bounds; and he showed very decent strategy in doing so, and gave even Norris and Booth a tip or two. Norris and Booth had made a fair art of trespassing in private game preserves, at the Manor House and other such places round about Merivale. In fact, game preserves were just common or garden Sunday walks to them. But they had been caught by a gamekeeper once and both flogged; and Wundt showed them how a reverse like that need never have happened. He could turn his coat inside out, and do other things of that sort, which were very deceptive even to the trained gamekeeper eye; and, finding a scarecrow in a turnip field, he took it, and as it consisted of trousers and coat and an old billycock hat, Wundt was now in possession of a complete disguise. He hid the things in a secret haunt, that really belonged to Norris and Booth; and they liked him at first and helped him a good deal; but finally they quarrelled with him, because he said England was a swine's hole, and told them that a time was coming--he hoped not till he grew up--when England would simply be a Protectorate of Germany, whatever that is. So they invited him to fight whichever he liked of them, and when he refused, though just the right weight, they smacked his head and dared him to go to their secret cave again.
When they smacked his head, his eyes glittered and he smiled, but nothing more. He never would fight with fists, because he said only apes and Englishmen fought with Nature's weapons. But at single-stick he was exceedingly good, and, in fact, better than anybody in the school but Forrester. He much wished we could use swords and slash each other's faces, as he hoped to do when he became a student in his own country, and he said it was a mean sight to see old Dunston and Brown and Manwaring and Hutchings and the other masters all without a scratch. He said in Germany every self-respecting man of the reigning classes was gashed to the bone; and decent people wouldn't know a man who wasn't, because he was sure to be a shopkeeper or some low class thing like that. As to games, he held them in great contempt. It seems people of any class in Germany only play one game and that's the war game--Kriegspiel, he called it.
I said: "What the deuce is the good of always playing the war game if you're not going to war?"
And he said: "Ach!"
It was a favourite word of his, and he used it in all sorts of ways with all sorts of expressions. Forbes, who, like me, had a kind of interest in Wundt that almost amounted to friendship, asked him if women played the war game, and he said he didn't know what they played except the piano. All women were worms, in his opinion. Of course, he gassed about everything German, and said that, from science and art and music to matchboxes and sausages, his country was first and the rest nowhere. He joined our school cadet corps eagerly, and became an officer of some sort in a month; but he was fearfully pitying about it, and said that English ways of drilling were enough to make a cat laugh, or words to that effect. After he became an officer, he put on fearful side, though as just one of the rank and file he'd been quite humble; and then, when he ordered Saunders, who wasn't an officer, to do something out of drill hours, and Saunders told him to do it himself, he turned white and dashed at Saunders, who, of course, licked him on the spot and made his nose bleed. He was properly mad about that, and said that if it had happened in Germany, Saunders would have been shot; but as it happened in England, of course Saunders wasn't. Travers major tried to explain to Wundt that we weren't real soldiers, and that, when not with the cadet corps, he was no better than anybody else, but he couldn't see this. He said that in his country if you were once an officer, you were always an officer, and that there was a gulf fixed between the men and their officers; and he called Saunders "cannon fodder" to Batson; and when Batson told Saunders, Saunders made Wundt carry him on his back up to the gym., and there licked him again and made his nose bleed once more, much to his wrath.
On the whole, owing to his ideas, which he wouldn't keep to himself, Wundt didn't have too good a time at Merivale. He couldn't understand us, and said we were slackers and rotters, and that our mercenary army was no good, and that Germany was the greatest country in the world, and we'd live to know it--perhaps sooner than we thought. Travers major tried hard to explain to him how it was, but he couldn't or wouldn't understand.
Travers said: "It's like this. Germany takes herself too seriously and other countries not seriously enough. An Englishman is always saying his own country is going to the dogs, and his Army's rotten, and his Navy only a lot of old sardine tins that ought to be scrapped, and all that sort of thing. That's his way, and when you bally Germans hear us talk like that, you go and believe it, and don't understand it's our national character to run ourselves down. And you chaps always go to the other extreme and brag about your army, and your guns, and your discipline, and your genius, and all the rest of it; and, of course, we don't believe you in the least, because gas like that carries its own reward, and nobody in the world could be so much better than all the rest of the world as you think you are. And if you imagine, because we run ourselves down, we would let anybody else dare to run us down, you're wrong. And if you think our free army is frightened of your slave army, and would mind taking you on, ten to one, on land or sea, you're also wrong."
It was a prophecy in a way, though Travers little knew it, for the war broke out next holidays, and when we went back to school, it was in full swing. And so, naturally, was Wundt. He wasn't going home for the vac. in any case, but stopping at Merivale, and he had done so. He told me the Doctor had talked some piffle to him about the duties of non-combatants; but, as Wundt truly said, every German in the world is a combatant in time of war, and if you can't do one thing, you must try and do another. In fact, old Dunston little knew the German character, and when he found it out, he was a good bit astonished, not to say hurt.
He, however, discovered it jolly quickly, and I did first of all, because, owing to being rather interested in human nature, I encouraged Wundt in a sort of way, and let him talk to me, and tried to see things from his point of view, as far as I could--that is, without doing anything unsporting to England. The great point was to keep your temper with Wundt; and, of course, most chaps couldn't, because he was so beastly sure he was right--at least, his nation was. But I didn't mind all that humbug, and found, by being patient with him, that, under all this flare-up, he was what you might call deadly keen on his blessed Fatherland. He fairly panted with patriotism, and in these moments, quite ignored my feelings.
"Now you know why I wanted to grow up," he said to me. "I hoped this wouldn't have happened till I could be in it. But it will be all over and your country a thing of the past before I'm sixteen--worse luck!"
As he was going to be sixteen in October, that was a bit hopeful of Wundt. His father or somebody had stuffed him up that Germany was being sat on by the world, and couldn't stand it much longer; and after the war began, he honestly believed that it was the end of England, and, in a way, he was more decent than ever he'd been before. When we came back at the end of the holidays, Wundt welcomed me in a very queer sort of manner. Somebody had treated me just the same in the past, and, after trying for a week to think who it was, I remembered it was my Uncle Samuel, after I'd lost my mother. Wundt evidently felt sorry for all of us in general and for me in particular as his special friend.
"Of course," he said, "I can't pretend I didn't want it to happen; but you won't see it is for the good of the world that your country's got to go down. And so I'm sorry for you, if anything."
"Do you really think it has got to go down?" I asked Wundt, and he said it wasn't so much what he thought as what was bound to take place.
"Either England's got to go, or else Germany," he said, "and as the Teuton is the world-power for religion and culture and everything that really matters, and also miles strongest, England's naturally got to go. You've had your turn; now it's ours. The Kaiser speaks, Germany listens and obeys."
Booth asked him what day the Germans would be at Merivale, and if he'd got a plan of campaign marked out; and he said about the half-term holiday, or earlier, they would come. And Booth said that would mean a short term, anyway, which had its bright side.
Then Tracey, who is awful sarcastic, though it doesn't generally come off, asked Wundt how he had arrived at this idea, and Wundt said from reading papers that his father had sent him via Holland.
"Your papers are chockful of lies," he said. "If you want the truth, those of you who can read German can see it in my papers."
Of course, some of the Sixth could read German, and they borrowed his papers, and were much surprised that Wundt really believed such absolute rot against the evidence of our papers. But he was simply blind, and went so far as to say that he'd sooner believe the pettiest little German rag than all our swaggerest papers, let alone theMerivale Weekly Trumpet, which was fearfully warlike, because the editor had a son who was training for the Front.
But most of all, Wundt hatedPunch, and, finding this out, we used to slip the cartoons into his desk, and put them under his pillow, and arrange them elsewhere where he must find them. These made him fairly foam at the mouth, and he said he hoped the first thing the Germans would do, when they got to London, would be to go toPunchand put the men who drew the pictures and made the jokes to the sword.
No doubt it was because they were so jolly true.
The masters were very decent to Wundt, especially Fortescue, who saw how trying it must be for him, living in an enemy's country; and when Wundt told me in secret that he felt his position was becoming unbearable, and that he had written and asked if he could be exchanged for a prisoner, or something. He said in a gloomy sort of voice: "I may tell you I haven't wasted my time here, and perhaps some day Doctor Dunston and you chaps will know it to your cost."
Well, though friendly enough to Wundt, I didn't much like that, and told my own special chum, Manwaring, what he'd said; and Manwaring told me that in his opinion Wundt ought to be neutralised immediately. But I knew enough of Wundt to feel certain he could never be properly neutralised, because he had told me that once a German always a German, and that he'd rather be a dead German than a living King of England, and that if he had to stop in England for a million years, he'd still be as German as ever, if not more so. And he'd also fairly shaken with pride because he'd read somewhere that the Kaiser had said that he would give any doctor a hundred thousand marks if he would draw every drop of English blood out of his veins. And when he said it, Tracey had answered that if the Kaiser came over to England, there were plenty of doctors who would oblige him for half the money.
But now I thought, without any unkind feeling to Wundt, that I ought to tell Travers major, as head of the school, of his dark threats; and I did; and Travers thanked me and said I was quite right to tell him, because war is war, and you never know.
Of course, if Wundt was going to turn out to be a spy, it wasn't possible for me to be his friend, and I told him so. And he saw that. He said he was sorry, if anything, to lose my friendship, but he should always do all that he considered right in the service of his country, and he couldn't let me stand between him and his duty. Which amounted to admitting that he was a spy, or, at any rate, was trying to be one; for, of course, at Merivale a spy was no more use than he would have been at the North Pole. There was simply nothing to spy about, except the photographs of new girls on Brown's mantelpiece.
Then Travers made a move, and he was sorry to do it; but he was going to be a soldier, just as much as Wundt was, and though he never jawed about Woolwich like Wundt did about Potsdam, yet he was quite as military at heart; and though he didn't wear the English colours inside his waistcoat lining, like Wundt wore the German colours, as he admitted to me in a friendly moment, yet Travers felt just as keen about England as Wundt did about Germany, and quite as cast down when we heard about Mons as Wundt was when he heard about the retreat on the Marne. He pretended, of course, it was only strategy, but he knew jolly well it wasn't.
Then Travers major reluctantly decided that, with a spy, certain things must be done. He didn't like doing them, but they had to be done. And the first thing was to prove it.
"You can only prove a chap is a spy by spying yourself," Travers said, and well knowing the peculiar skill of Norris and Booth, he told them to keep a careful lookout on Wundt and report anything suspicious; which they did do, because it was work to which they were well suited by their natures, and they soon reported that Wundt went long walks out of bounds, and evidently avoided people as much as possible. Once they surprised him making notes, and when he saw Booth coming, he tore them up.
Then Travers major did a strong thing, and ordered that the box of Wundt should be searched. I happened to know that Wundt was very keen to get a letter off by post, which he said was important, yet hesitated to send for fear of accidents; and that decided Travers.
So it was done, quite openly and without subterfuge, as they say, because we just took the key from Wundt by force and told him we were going to do it, and then did it. He protested very violently, but the protest, as Travers said, was not sustained.
And we found his box contained fearfully incriminating matter, for he had a one-barrelled breech-loading pistol in it, with a box of ammunition, of which we had never heard until that moment, and a complete map on a huge scale of Merivale and the country round. It was a wonderful map, and how he had made it, and nobody ever seen it, was extraordinary. At least, so it seemed, till we remembered that he had been here through the holidays on his own. There were numbers in red ink all over the map, and remarks carefully written in German; and though it is impossible to give you any idea of the map, which was beautifully drawn and about three yards square, if not more, yet I can reproduce the military remarks upon it, which Travers translated into English.
They went like this, and showed in rather a painful way what Wundt really was at heart. And it showed what Germany was, too; and no doubt thousands of other Germans all over the United Kingdom had been doing the same thing, and still are.
After the first shock of being discovered, I honestly believe he was pleased to be seen in his true colours, and gloried in his crime.
These were the notes in cold blood, as you may say:--
1.A wood. Good cover for guns. In the middle is a spring where a gamekeeper's wife gets water. It might easily be poisoned.
2.A large number of fields. Some have potatoes in them and some have turnips.
3.A village with fifty or sixty houses and about two hundred and thirty-five inhabitants, mostly women and children. Presents no difficulties.
4.A church with a tower. A very good place for wireless or light gun. The pews inside would be good for wounded. Cover for infantry in the churchyard.
5.A stream with one bridge, which might easily be blown up; but it would not be necessary, as the stream is only six feet across, and you could easily walk over it. Too small for pontoons. Small fish in it.
6.A large field which was planted with corn, but is now empty. A good place for aeroplanes to land. Can't find out where corn is gone.
7.A railroad with one line that goes up to main line. Could easily be destroyed, but might have strategic value.
8.A hill where guns could be placed that would cover advance of troops on Merivale.
9.The school. This stands on rising ground a mile from the hill, No. 8, and could easily be destroyed by field-guns. Or it could easily be used as a hospital. It contains a hundred beds, and the chapel could easily hold a hundred more. There is a garden and a fountain of good water. Also a well in the house. The playing-field is a quarter of a mile off. Tents could easily be put up there for troops.
10.A village schoolroom three hundred yards from the church. It has been turned into a hospital for casualties. There are thirteen or fourteen nurses of the Red Cross waiting for wounded soldiers to arrive. They are amateurs, but have passed some sort of examination. The wounded are said to be coming. This place could easily be shelled from the hill marked No. 8.
11.A forest full of game, and in the middle of it a park and the Manor House, belonging to a man called Sir Neville Carew. He has great wealth, and the mansion could easily be looted, and then either used for officers or burned down.
12.A farm rich in sheep and cattle and chickens, also turkeys. It would present no difficulties.
13.The sea. This is distant ten miles from here, and there is an unfortified bay, which looks deep. We went there for a holiday last summer, and some of us went out in a boat. I pretended to fish and tried to take soundings, but regret to report that I failed. However, the water was quite deep enough for small battle-craft. The cliffs are red and made of hard rock. There are about twenty fishing-boats, and a coastguard station on top; but I saw no wireless. There is a semaphore.
14.A medical doctor's house with a garage. Would present no difficulties. I saw petrol tins in the yard.
That was all, and Travers at once decided to hand the map and the pistol and cartridges to Doctor Dunston.
"I'm very unwilling to do it," he said, "but this is a bit too thick altogether. It is pure, unadulterated spying of the most blackguard sort. And if I had anything to do with it, I should fine Wundt every penny he's got and imprison him for six months and then deport him."
So he took the evidence of guilt to Dunston, and, of course, Dunston had the day of his life over them. Some of the masters considered it funny, and I believe Peacock, who translated the map for Dunston, thought it was rather fine of Wundt; but old Dunston didn't think it was funny, or fine, either. He had the whole school in chapel, and hung up the map on a blackboard, and waved the pistol first in one hand and then the other, and talked as only he can talk when he's fairly roused by a great occasion.
I believe what hurt him most was Wundt saying it would be so jolly easy to knock out Merivale; and to hear Wundt explaining how the school could be shelled fairly made old Dunston get on his hind legs. In his great moments he always quotes Shakespeare, and he did now. He said he wasn't going to have a serpent sting him twice, anyway. He also said it was enough to make Kant and Goethe turn in their graves; and, that for all he could see, they had expended their genius in vain, so far as their native land was concerned. And then he went on.
"Needless to say, Jacob Wundt, you are technically expelled. I say 'technically,' because, until I have communicated with your unfortunate father, it is impossible literally to expel you. To be expelled, a boy must be expelled from somewhere to somewhere, and for the moment there is nowhere that I know of to where you can be expelled. But rest assured that a way shall be found at the earliest opportunity. Indeed, it may be my duty to hand you over to the military authorities, and, should that be the case, I shall not hesitate. For the present you are interned."
Wundt merely said "Ach!" but he said it in such a fearfully contemptuous tone of voice that the Doctor flogged him then and there; and Travers major thought Wundt ought not to have been flogged by rights, but treated as a prisoner of war, or else shot--he didn't seem to be sure which.
And as for Wundt, he evidently thought the Belgian atrocities were a fool to his being flogged; and he got so properly wicked that the Doctor had him locked up all night, with nothing but bread and water to eat, and the gardener to guard him.
Then a good many chaps began to be sorry for Wundt; but their sorrow was wasted, for the very next day Dunston heard from his father that Wundt could go home through Holland, with two other German boys who were being looked after by the American Ambassador, or some such pot in London. So he went, and after he had gone, Fortescue asked the Doctor if he might have Wundt's map, as a psychological curiosity, or some such thing, and Dunston said he had burned the map to cinders, and seemed a good deal pained with Fortescue for wanting to treasure such an outrage.
Wundt promised to write to me when he left; but he never did, and, perhaps, if it's true that German boys of sixteen go to the Front, he may be there now. And if he is, and if his side wins, and if Wundt is with the Germans when they come to Merivale, I know the first thing he'll do will be to slay old Dunston, and the second thing he'll do will be to slay Saunders.
But in the meantime, of course, there is a pretty rosy chance he may get slain himself. Not that he'd mind, if he knew his side was on top and going to conquer. Only, perish the thought, as they say.
TRAVERS MINOR, SCOUT
Before the fearful war with Germany began, Dr. Dunston was not very keen about us joining the Boy Scouts on half-holidays. He liked better for us to play games; and if you didn't play games, he liked you to go out with Brown to botanize in the hedges. It was a choice of evils to me and Travers minor, because we hated games and we fairly loathed botanizing with Brown. Unluckily for us, he was the Forum master of the Lower Fourth, and so we had more than enough of him in school, without seeing him pull weeds to pieces on half-holidays and talk about the wonders of Nature. For that matter, he was about the wonderfullest wonder of Nature himself, if he'd only known it.
But after the War began, old Dunston quite changed his attitude to the Boy Scouts, and, in some ways, that was the best thing that ever happened for me and Travers minor, though in other ways it was not.
I'm called Briggs, and Travers minor and I came the same term and chummed from the first. We had the same opinions about most things, and agreed about hating games and preferring a more solitary life; but we were very different in many respects, for Travers minor was going to be a clergyman, and I had no ideas of that sort, my father being a stock broker in the "Brighton A" market. Travers minor was more excitable than Travers major, though quite as keen about England, and after being divided for some time between the Navy and the Church, he rather cleverly combined the two professions, and determined to be the chaplain of a battleship. His enthusiasm for England was very remarkable, and after a time, though I had never been the least enthusiastic about England before, yet, owing to the pressure of Travers minor, I got to be. Nothing like he was, of course. He used to fairly tremble about England, and once, when an Irish boy, who didn't know Home Rule had been passed, said he'd just as soon blow his nose on the Union Jack as his handkerchief--which was rot, seeing he never had one--young Travers flew at him like a tiger from a bow, and knocked him down and hammered the back of his head on the floor of the chapel. As soon as he had recovered from his great surprise, the Irish boy--Rice he was called--got up and licked Travers minor pretty badly, which he could easily do, being cock of the Lower School; but, all the same, Rice respected Travers, for doing what he did, and when he heard that Home Rule was passed, he said that altered the case, and never cheeked the English flag again.
Then Dunston changed towards the Boy Scouts, and said such of us as liked might join them; and about twenty did. We were allowed to hunt about in couples on half-holidays; and the rule for a Boy Scout is always to be on the look-out to justify his existence when scouting, and to assist people, and help the halt and the lame, and tell people the way if they want to know it, and buck about generally, and, if possible, never stop a bit of scouting till he's done a good action of some kind to somebody. Of course, we had to do our good actions in bounds, and Travers minor often pointed out, as a rather curious thing, that over and over again there were chances to do good actions if we'd gone out of bounds--sometimes even over a hedge into a field.
But he generally found something useful to do, and I generally didn't. The good action that occurred oftenest was to give pennies to tramps, but Travers did not support this. He said:
"I dare say you've noticed, Briggs, that all these chaps who ask us for money have got starving families at home. Well, if it's true, they ought to be at home looking after them. But it isn't true. As a rule, they spend the money on beer. And when you ask them why they haven't enlisted, they all say they're too short, or too tall, or haven't got any back teeth, or something."
We were scouting the day Travers minor pointed this out, and that was the very afternoon that we met the best tramp of the lot. I should have believed him myself and tried to help him; but Travers, strangely enough, is much kinder to animals and dumb creatures in general than he is to men, especially tramps, and it took a very clever tramp to make him believe him. But this one did.
He was old and grizzled and grey, and his moustache was yellow with tobacco. He was sitting rolling a cigarette in the hedge, and as we passed together in uniform with our scout poles, he got up and saluted us with a military salute.
"What a bit of luck!" he said. "You're just the chaps I'm on the look-out for."
Travers stopped and so did I.
"D'you want anything, my good man?" said Travers.
"Yes, I do. I want a sharp Boy Scout to listen to me. I'm telling secrets, mind you; but you're in the Service just as much as I am, and I can trust you."
"What Service?" asked Travers minor. "What Service are you in?"
"The Secret Service," said the tramp. "I dare say you think I'm only a badgering old loafer, and not worth the price of the boots on my feet. Far from it. I'm Sir Baden-Powell's brother! That's why I was glad to see you boys come along."
"I don't believe it," said Travers.
"Quite right not to," answered the old man. "That is, till I explain. As you know, the country's fairly crawling with German spies at present, and it takes a pretty good chap to smell them out. That's my game. I've run down thirty-two during the last month, and I'm on the track of a lot more; but to keep up my character of an old tramp, I dress like this; and then they don't suspect me, and I just meet 'em in pubs and stand 'em drinks, and tip 'em a bit of their lingo and pretend I'm German, too."
I was a good deal impressed by this, and so was Travers minor.
"I've been standing drinks to a doubtful customer only this morning, and spent my last half-crown doing it," went on the great Baden-Powell's brother. "That's why I stopped you boys. I'm a good way from my base for the moment, and I shall be obliged if you can lend me half a sovereign, or whatever you've got on you, till to-morrow. If you let me have your address, you shall get it by midday; and I'll mention your names to 'B.-P.' next time we meet."
Travers minor looked at the spy in a spellbound sort of way.
"It's a wonderful disguise," he said.
"Not one of my best, though," answered the man. "I never look the same two days running. Very likely to-morrow I shall be a smart young officer; and then, again, I may look like a farmer, or a clergyman, or anything. It's part of my work to be a master of the art of disguises."
Travers minor began to whisper to me, and asked me how much money I had. Then the great spy spoke again.
"I might give you boys a job next Saturday afternoon, but you'll have to be pretty smart to do it. I'm taking a German then. I've marked him down at Little Mudborough--you know, a mile from Merivale--and on Saturday next, at 'The Wool Pack' public-house, I meet him and arrest him. I shall want a bit of help, I dare say."
Travers fairly trembled with excitement after that. Then he felt in his pocket and found he'd only got a shilling, and this he gave to the spy without a thought; but I happened to have five shillings by an extraordinary fluke, it being my birthday, and Brown had changed a postal order from my mother; so I was not nearly so keen about the spy as Travers minor. Travers was a good deal relieved to hear I'd got as much, and even then apologised that we could only produce six bob between us.
The spy seemed rather disappointed, and I made a feeble effort to keep my five shillings by saying:
"Couldn't you get to the police-station? They'd be sure to have tons of money there."
But at the mention of a police-station he showed the utmost annoyance, combined with contempt. He said: "What's your name?"
And I said: "Briggs."
"Well, Briggs," he said, "let me tell you, if there's one thing the Secret Service hates and despises more than another, it's a police-station; and if there's one bigger fool on earth than another, it's a policeman. It would very likely be death to my whole career as a spy, if I went to a policeman and told him who I was."
"Don't you ever work with them, Mr. Baden-Powell?" asked Travers; and he said:
"Never, if I can help it."
So he had the six bob, much to my regret, and told us to be at "The Wool Pack" public-house at Mudborough on the following Saturday afternoon. He asked what would be the most convenient time for us to be there, and we said half-past three, and he said "Good!"
Then Travers asked rather a smart question and said--
"How shall we know you?"
And the spy said:
"I shall be disguised as a farmer, in gaiters and the sort of clothes farmers go to market in on Saturdays; and I shall be in the bar with other men. And one of these men will be a very dangerous German secret agent, who has a 'wireless' at his house. And when we've got him, we shall go to his house and destroy the 'wireless.' And now you'd better be getting on, or people will think it suspicious. And you shall have your money again next Saturday."
So we left him, and the six shillings with him, and I was by no means so pleased and excited about it as Travers minor. Still, I was excited in a way, and hoped the following Saturday would be glorious; and Travers said it would undoubtedly be the greatest day we had spent up to that time.
We had gone two hundred yards, and were wondering what the German would look like, and if he'd make a fight, when we were much startled by a man who suddenly jumped out of the hedge and stopped us.
It was a policeman in a very excited frame of mind.
"What did that bloke up the road say to you?" he began; and Travers minor, remembering what contempt the great spy had for policemen, was rather haughty.
"Our conversation was private," he answered, and the policeman seemed inclined to laugh.
"I know what your conversation was, very well," he answered. "Soapy William wouldn't tire himself talking to you kids for fun. Did you give him any money?"
In this insolent way the policeman dared to talk of Baden-Powell's brother!
"His name is not Soapy William," answered Travers, who had turned red with anger, "and he's got no use for policemen, anyway."
"No, you take your dying oath he hasn't," said the policeman. "If he told you that, he's broke the record and told you the truth. Did you give him money, or only a fag?'
"We lent him money for a private purpose, and I'll thank you to let us pass," said Travers minor.
But the policeman wouldn't.
"He's as slippery as an eel," he said, "and I've been waiting to cop him red-'anded for a fortnight. So now you'd better come and overtake him, for he's lame and can only crawl along. And when I talk to him, you'll be surprised."
"You're utterly wrong," Travers minor told the policeman. "You're quite on the wrong scent, and if you interfere with that man, you'll very likely ruin your own career in the Force. He's much more powerful than you think."
But the policeman said he'd chance that, and then, in the name of the law, he made us come and help him.
It was a most curious experience. When we got there, the spy had disappeared, and the policeman, knowing that he could only go about one mile an hour, said he must be hidden somewhere near.
"And if you chaps are any good as scouts, now's your chance to show it," he said.
By this time I began to believe the policeman, for he was a big man and very positive in his speech; but Travers hated him, and if he'd found the spy, I believe he would have said nothing. But I found him, or, rather, I found his boot. He had, no doubt, seen us stopped by the policeman, and then hastened to evade capture. There was a haystack in a field, and he had gone to it, and on one side, where it was cut open, there was a lot of loose hay, and he had concealed himself with the utmost cunning, all but one boot. This I observed just peeping out from a litter of loose hay, and not feeling equal to making the capture myself, I pretended I had not seen the boot, and went off and told the policeman, who was hunting some distance off, and also eating blackberries while he hunted.
He was much pleased and hastened to make the capture; and when he arrived and he saw the boot, he said: "Hullo, Soapy, old pard! Got you this time, my boy!"
Then the hay was cast aside, and the great spy; otherwise known as Soapy William, rose up.
It was rather a solemn sight in a way, for he took it pretty calmly, and said he'd been wanting a fortnight's rest for a long time.
After the capture, the policeman seemed to lose interest in Travers minor and me. In fact, he didn't even thank us, but he gave us back our money, and it was rather interesting to find that Soapy William, besides our six shillings, had the additional sum of two and sevenpence halfpenny also.
Travers minor didn't speak one single word, going back to Merivale, until we were at the gates; then he said a thing which showed how fearfully he felt what had happened.
He said:
"It makes me feel almost in despair about going into the Church, Briggs, when there's such wickedness as that about."
And I said:
"I should think you would want to go in all the more."
And afterwards, when we had changed and had tea, and we were in school, he got calmer and admitted I was right.
But he took a gloomier view of human nature afterwards, and often, on scouting days, he said there was more satisfaction in helping a beetle across a road, or making a snail safe, than there was in trying to be useful to one's fellow-creatures.
We had to go and give evidence against Soapy William before a Justice of the Peace two days later. In fact, it was Sir Neville Carew, who lived at the Manor House, and he seemed to be very much amused at our evidence, and almost inclined to let Soapy off. But he gave him a fortnight, and Soapy said to us as he 'oped we'd let the great Baden-Powell know how he was being treated; and everybody laughed, including Brown, who had gone to the court with us.
But, after that, Dr. Dunston cooled off to the Boy Scouts a lot; and when the terrific adventure to Travers minor finally occurred, about three weeks after, Travers major said it was a Nemesis on old Dunston; and so undoubtedly it was.
Though not actually in it, I heard all the particulars--in fact, everybody did, for naturally Dr. Dunston was the most famous person in Merivale, and when this remarkable thing overtook him, TheMerivale Weekly Trumpethad a column about it, and everybody for miles round called to see him and say how jolly glad they were it wasn't worse.
It was a fierce afternoon, with the leaves flying and the rain coming down in a squally sort of way, and Travers minor and I went for a drill, and after the drill we scouted a bit on rather a lonely road where nothing was in the habit of happening. But, as Travers truly said, the essence of scouting is surprise, and because a road is a lonely and uneventful sort of road, it doesn't follow something may not happen unexpectedly upon it.
He said:
"No doubt the roads in the valley of the river Aisne, in France, have been pretty lonely in their time, but think of them last September!"
So we went, and one motor passed us in two miles; and two dogs poaching together also passed, and in a field was a sheep which had got on its back and couldn't get up again, being too fat to do so. We pulled it up. In another field was a bull, and we tried to attract it, and scouted down a hedge within fifty yards of it, to see if it was dangerous, and warn people if it was; and I went to within forty yards of it, being a good twelve yards from the hedge at the time, but it paid no attention. Then, just at the end of the road, we came across an old woman sitting by the roadside in a very ragged and forlorn condition, with a basket of watercresses and also about twelve mushrooms.
Thinking she might be lame, or otherwise in difficulties, Travers minor went up to her and said:
"Good evening! D'you want anything?"
And she said:
"Yes, a plucky lot of things, but none of your cheek."
"It wasn't meant for cheek. I'm a Scout," said Travers minor.
And she said:
"Oh, run along home and ask mother to let out your knickers, else you'll bust 'em!"
Travers turned white with indignation, but such was his great idea of discipline, that he didn't tell her she was a drunken old beast, which she was, but just marched off. But he was fearfully upset, all the same, and, instead of pouring out his rage on the horrid old woman, he poured it out on me. He'd been a bit queer all day, owing to a row with Brown over a history lesson, in which Travers minor messed up the story of Charles II; and now, what with one thing and another, he lost his usual self-control and got very nasty.
He said scouting with another person was no good--not with me, anyway.
And I said:
"What have I done?"
And he said:
"You're such a fathead--nothing ever happens when you're about!"
I told him to keep his temper and not make a silly ass of himself. I also asked him what he thought was going to happen. I said:
"We all know you're always ready for anything--from an Uhlan to a caterpillar--but it seems to me the essence of scouting is to keep wide awake when nothing is happening, like the fleet in the North Sea. Any fool can do things; the thing is always to be ready to do them, and not get your shirt out and lose your nerve because there's nothing to do."
This good advice fairly settled Travers minor. He undoubtedly lost his temper, as he admitted afterwards, and he said:
"When I want you to tell me my business, Briggs, I'll let you know."
And I said:
"Your first business is to keep your hair on, whatever happens."
And he said:
"Then I'll relieve you of my company, Briggs."
And, before I could answer, he had got through the hedge and gone off over a field which ran along a wood. I watched him in silent amazement, as they say, and he crossed the field and entered the wood and disappeared.
This action alone showed what a proper rage he was in, because he had gone into the Manor Woods, which was not only going out of bounds, but also trespassing--two things he never did. It was a fearful loss of nerve, and I stood quite still for a good minute after he vanished. Then my first idea was to go and lug him back; but discretion was always the better part of valour with me, and always will be, owing to my character; so I left Travers to his fate, and hoped he'd soon cool down and come back without meeting a keeper. It was growing dusk, too, and I went back to Merivale, and decided not to say anything about Travers minor, except that, while we were engaged in some scouting operations, I had missed him.
I only heard the amazing tale of his adventure afterwards, and though everybody had the story in some shape or form, I got the naked truth from Travers minor himself in his own words. Next morning, much to our surprise, it was given out that Dr. Dunston was unwell, and Fortescue read prayers; and during that event Travers told me all.
"When I left you," he said, "I was in a filthy bate, and for once, instead of not wanting to trespass and break bounds, I did want to. And I went straight into the Manor Woods, and badly frightened some pheasants that had gone to roost, and was immediately soothed. They made a fearful row, and I thought a keeper would be sure to spring up from somewhere, and rather hoped one would, in order to afford me an opportunity for an escape. But nothing happened, and I decided to walk on till I came to the drive, and then boldly go along out of the lodge-gate. Well, I walked through the wood to the drive just before it got dark. I was looking out cautiously from the edge of the wood, to see that all was clear, when I observed a man sitting on the edge of the drive. For a moment I thought it was that wretched Soapy William again. He was humped up and nursing his foot which was evidently badly wounded. Then the man gave a sound between a sigh and a groan and a snuffle, and I saw it was Dr. Dunston!
"Of course, it was the moment of my life, and I felt, in a sort of way, that my whole future career depended upon my next action. My first instinct, remembering that Norris and Booth were both flogged when caught here, was a strategic retreat; but then my duty as a Boy Scout occurred to me. It was a fearful choice of evils, you may say; for if I cleared out, I was disgraced for ever, and my mind couldn't have stood it, and if I went forward, I was also disgraced for ever, because to be flogged, to a chap with my opinions, is about the limit. I considered what should be done, and while I was considering, old Dunston groaned again and said out loud:
"'Tut--tut! This is indeed a tragedy!'
"That decided me, because the question of humanity came in, and looking on into the future in rather a remarkable way, I saw at once that if I retreated and heard next morning that old Dr. Dunston was found dead, I should feel the pangs of remorse for evermore, and they would ruin my life. I also felt that, if I saved him, he was hardly likely to flog me, because there would undoubtedly be a great feeling against him if he did."
"You might have done this," I said. "You might have retreated, and then gone down to the lodge and told the woman that there was an injured man, in great agony, lying half-way up the drive. You might have given a false name yourself, and then, when the rescuing party started, you might have cleared out and so remained anonymous. It would have gone down to the credit of the Boy Scouts, and old Dunston would have been the first to see that the particular Boy Scout in question preferred, for private reasons, to keep his identification a secret."
Travers was much impressed by this view.
"I never thought of that," he said. "Probably, if I had, I should have done it. Anyway, I'm sorry I swore at you and called you a fathead, Briggs. You're not a fathead--far from it."
He then continued his surprising narrative in these words:
"Anyway, I decided to rescue the Doctor, and stepped out of ambush and said:
"'Good evening, sir. I'm afraid you're hurt.'
"He was evidently very glad to see me; but you know his iron discipline. He kept it up even then.
"'What boy are you?' he asked, and I told him I was Travers minor from Merivale.
"'And how comes it you are here?' he asked again.
"'I was operating in the woods on my way home, sir, and I heard your cry of distress.'
"'We will investigate your operations on another occasion, then,' said the Doctor. 'For the moment mine are more important. I have had a bad fall and am in great pain. You had better run as quickly as possible to the Manor House, ask to see Sir Neville Carew, and tell him that I have met with a very severe accident half-way down his drive. Whether I have broken my leg, or put out my ankle, it is not for me to determine. I have been drinking tea with Sir Neville and learning his views as to the War. Be as quick as you can. You will never have a better opportunity to display your agility.'
"Then I hooked it and ran the half-mile or so to the Manor House, sprinting all the way. I soon gave the terrible news, and in about ten minutes Sir Neville Carew himself, with his butler and his footman, set off for the Doctor. And the footman trundled a chair which ran on wheels, and which Sir Neville Carew kindly explained to me he uses himself when he gets an attack of gout, which often happens, unfortunately.
"He didn't ask me how I discovered the accident, which was naturally rather a good thing for me; and when we got back to the Doctor, he told me to hasten on in advance and break the evil tidings. So I cleared out. And I've heard no more yet; but no doubt I shall soon."
That was the great narrative of Travers minor, and after morning school Brown gave out that the Doctor's ankle was very badly sprained, but that things would take their course as usual, and a bulletin be put up on the notice-board in the evening.
And it was, and it said the Doctor was better.
Travers minor heard nothing until three days later, when the Doctor appeared on a crutch and read prayers. Then he had Travers up and addressed the school. And Travers saw at a glance that Dr. Dunston was still in no condition to flog him, even if the will was there.
It ended brilliantly for Travers, really, because the Doctor said he had been an instrument of Providence, and he evidently felt you ought not to flog an instrument of Providence, whatever he's been doing. He reproved Travers minor pretty stiffly, all the same, and said that when he considered what a friend Sir Neville Carew was to the school, and how much he overlooked, and so on, it was infamous that any boy should even glance into his pheasant preserves, much less actually go into them. And Travers minor was finally ordered to spend a half-holiday in visiting Sir Neville Carew and humbly apologizing to him for his conduct. Which he did so, and Sir Neville Carew, on hearing from Travers that he would never do it again on any pretext whatever, was frightfully sporting and forgave him freely, and talked about the War, and reminded him about Sir Baden-Powell's brother, and ended by taking Travers minor into a glass-house full of luscious peaches and giving him two.
And Travers kept one for me, because, he said, if it hadn't been for getting into a wax with me, he would never have trespassed and never have had the adventure at all.
And I said it wasn't so much me as that beast of an old woman who told him his knickers were too tight.
"In strict honesty," I said, "she ought to have this peach."
Then I ate it, and never want to eat a better. In fact, I kept the stone to plant when I went home.