NOTHING THAT EVER CAME TO ANYTHING

It was on this part of the drive that I decided at last I was learning real mountain-driving.  To confess the truth, for delicious titillation of one’s nerve, I have since driven over no mountain road that was worse, or better, rather, than that piece.

And then the contrast!  From Sausalito, over excellent, park-like boulevards, through the splendid redwoods and homes of Mill Valley, across the blossomed hills of Marin County, along the knoll-studded picturesque marshes, past San Rafael resting warmly among her hills, over the divide and up the Petaluma Valley, and on to the grassy feet of Sonoma Mountain and home.  We covered fifty-five miles that day.  Not so bad, eh, for Prince the Rogue, the paint-removing Outlaw, the thin-shanked thoroughbred, and the rabbit-jumper?  And they came in cool and dry, ready for their mangers and the straw.

Oh, we didn’t stop.  We considered we were just starting, and that was many weeks ago.  We have kept on going over six counties which are comfortably large, even for California, and we are still going.  We have twisted and tabled, criss-crossed our tracks, made fascinating and lengthy dives into the interior valleys in the hearts of Napa and Lake Counties, travelled the coast for hundreds of miles on end, and are now in Eureka, on Humboldt Bay, which was discovered by accident by the gold-seekers, who were trying to find their way to and from the Trinity diggings.  Even here, the white man’s history preceded them, for dim tradition says that the Russians once anchored here and hunted sea-otter before the first Yankee trader rounded the Horn, or the first Rocky Mountain trapper thirsted across the “Great American Desert” and trickled down the snowy Sierras to the sun-kissed land.  No; we are not resting our horses here on Humboldt Bay.  We are writing this article, gorging on abalones and mussels, digging clams, and catching record-breaking sea-trout and rock-cod in the intervals in which we are not sailing, motor-boating, and swimming in the most temperately equable climate we have ever experienced.

These comfortably large counties!  They are veritable empires.  Take Humboldt, for instance.  It is three times as large as Rhode Island, one and a half times as large as Delaware, almost as large as Connecticut, and half as large as Massachusetts.  The pioneer has done his work in this north of the bay region, the foundations are laid, and all is ready for the inevitable inrush of population and adequate development of resources which so far have been no more than skimmed, and casually and carelessly skimmed at that.  This region of the six counties alone will some day support a population of millions.  In the meanwhile, O you home-seekers, you wealth-seekers, and, above all, you climate-seekers, now is the time to get in on the ground floor.

Robert Ingersoll once said that the genial climate of California would in a fairly brief time evolve a race resembling the Mexicans, and that in two or three generations the Californians would be seen of a Sunday morning on their way to a cockfight with a rooster under each arm.  Never was made a rasher generalisation, based on so absolute an ignorance of facts.  It is to laugh.  Here is a climate that breeds vigour, with just sufficient geniality to prevent the expenditure of most of that vigour in fighting the elements.  Here is a climate where a man can work three hundred and sixty-five days in the year without the slightest hint of enervation, and where for three hundred and sixty-five nights he must perforce sleep under blankets.  What more can one say?  I consider myself somewhat of climate expert, having adventured among most of the climates of five out of the six zones.  I have not yet been in the Antarctic, but whatever climate obtains there will not deter me from drawing the conclusion that nowhere is there a climate to compare with that of this region.  Maybe I am as wrong as Ingersoll was.  Nevertheless I take my medicine by continuing to live in this climate.  Also, it is the only medicine I ever take.

But to return to the horses.  There is some improvement.  Milda has actually learned to walk.  Maid has proved her thoroughbredness by never tiring on the longest days, and, while being the strongest and highest spirited of all, by never causing any trouble save for an occasional kick at the Outlaw.  And the Outlaw rarely gallops, no longer butts, only periodically kicks, comes in to the pole and does her work without attempting to vivisect Maid’s medulla oblongata, and—marvel of marvels—is really and truly getting lazy.  But Prince remains the same incorrigible, loving and lovable rogue he has always been.

And the country we’ve been over!  The drives through Napa and Lake Counties!  One, from Sonoma Valley, via Santa Rosa, we could not refrain from taking several ways, and on all the ways we found the roads excellent for machines as well as horses.  One route, and a more delightful one for an automobile cannot be found, is out from Santa Rosa, past old Altruria and Mark West Springs, then to the right and across to Calistoga in Napa Valley.  By keeping to the left, the drive holds on up the Russian River Valley, through the miles of the noted Asti Vineyards to Cloverdale, and then by way of Pieta, Witter, and Highland Springs to Lakeport.  Still another way we took, was down Sonoma Valley, skirting San Pablo Bay, and up the lovely Napa Valley.  From Napa were side excursions through Pope and Berryessa Valleys, on to Ætna Springs, and still on, into Lake County, crossing the famous Langtry Ranch.

Continuing up the Napa Valley, walled on either hand by great rock palisades and redwood forests and carpeted with endless vineyards, and crossing the many stone bridges for which the County is noted and which are a joy to the beauty-loving eyes as well as to the four-horse tyro driver, past Calistoga with its old mud-baths and chicken-soup springs, with St. Helena and its giant saddle ever towering before us, we climbed the mountains on a good grade and dropped down past the quicksilver mines to the canyon of the Geysers.  After a stop over night and an exploration of the miniature-grand volcanic scene, we pulled on across the canyon and took the grade where the cicadas simmered audibly in the noon sunshine among the hillside manzanitas.  Then, higher, came the big cattle-dotted upland pastures, and the rocky summit.  And here on the summit, abruptly, we caught a vision, or what seemed a mirage.  The ocean we had left long days before, yet far down and away shimmered a blue sea, framed on the farther shore by rugged mountains, on the near shore by fat and rolling farm lands.  Clear Lake was before us, and like proper sailors we returned to our sea, going for a sail, a fish, and a swim ere the day was done and turning into tired Lakeport blankets in the early evening.  Well has Lake County been called the Walled-in County.  But the railroad is coming.  They say the approach we made to Clear Lake is similar to the approach to Lake Lucerne.  Be that as it may, the scenery, with its distant snow-capped peaks, can well be called Alpine.

And what can be more exquisite than the drive out from Clear Lake to Ukiah by way of the Blue Lakes chain!—every turn bringing into view a picture of breathless beauty; every glance backward revealing some perfect composition in line and colour, the intense blue of the water margined with splendid oaks, green fields, and swaths of orange poppies.  But those side glances and backward glances were provocative of trouble.  Charmian and I disagreed as to which way the connecting stream of water ran.  We still disagree, for at the hotel, where we submitted the affair to arbitration, the hotel manager and the clerk likewise disagreed.  I assume, now, that we never will know which way that stream runs.  Charmian suggests “both ways.”  I refuse such a compromise.  No stream of water I ever saw could accomplish that feat at one and the same time.  The greatest concession I can make is that sometimes it may run one way and sometimes the other, and that in the meantime we should both consult an oculist.

More valley from Ukiah to Willits, and then we turned westward through the virgin Sherwood Forest of magnificent redwood, stopping at Alpine for the night and continuing on through Mendocino County to Fort Bragg and “salt water.”  We also came to Fort Bragg up the coast from Fort Ross, keeping our coast journey intact from the Golden Gate.  The coast weather was cool and delightful, the coast driving superb.  Especially in the Fort Ross section did we find the roads thrilling, while all the way along we followed the sea.  At every stream, the road skirted dizzy cliff-edges, dived down into lush growths of forest and ferns and climbed out along the cliff-edges again.  The way was lined with flowers—wild lilac, wild roses, poppies, and lupins.  Such lupins!—giant clumps of them, of every lupin-shade and—colour.  And it was along the Mendocino roads that Charmian caused many delays by insisting on getting out to pick the wild blackberries, strawberries, and thimble-berries which grew so profusely.  And ever we caught peeps, far down, of steam schooners loading lumber in the rocky coves; ever we skirted the cliffs, day after day, crossing stretches of rolling farm lands and passing through thriving villages and saw-mill towns.  Memorable was our launch-trip from Mendocino City up Big River, where the steering gears of the launches work the reverse of anywhere else in the world; where we saw a stream of logs, of six to twelve and fifteen feet in diameter, which filled the river bed for miles to the obliteration of any sign of water; and where we were told of a white or albino redwood tree.  We did not see this last, so cannot vouch for it.

All the streams were filled with trout, and more than once we saw the side-hill salmon on the slopes.  No, side-hill salmon is not a peripatetic fish; it is a deer out of season.  But the trout!  At Gualala Charmian caught her first one.  Once before in my life I had caught two . . . on angleworms.  On occasion I had tried fly and spinner and never got a strike, and I had come to believe that all this talk of fly-fishing was just so much nature-faking.  But on the Gualala River I caught trout—a lot of them—on fly and spinners; and I was beginning to feel quite an expert, until Nakata, fishing on bottom with a pellet of bread for bait, caught the biggest trout of all.  I now affirm there is nothing in science nor in art.  Nevertheless, since that day poles and baskets have been added to our baggage, we tackle every stream we come to, and we no longer are able to remember the grand total of our catch.

At Usal, many hilly and picturesque miles north of Fort Bragg, we turned again into the interior of Mendocino, crossing the ranges and coming out in Humboldt County on the south fork of Eel River at Garberville.  Throughout the trip, from Marin County north, we had been warned of “bad roads ahead.”  Yet we never found those bad roads.  We seemed always to be just ahead of them or behind them.  The farther we came the better the roads seemed, though this was probably due to the fact that we were learning more and more what four horses and a light rig could do on a road.  And thus do I save my face with all the counties.  I refuse to make invidious road comparisons.  I can add that while, save in rare instances on steep pitches, I have trotted my horses down all the grades, I have never had one horse fall down nor have I had to send the rig to a blacksmith shop for repairs.

Also, I am learning to throw leather.  If any tyro thinks it is easy to take a short-handled, long-lashed whip, and throw the end of that lash just where he wants it, let him put on automobile goggles and try it.  On reconsideration, I would suggest the substitution of a wire fencing-mask for the goggles.  For days I looked at that whip.  It fascinated me, and the fascination was composed mostly of fear.  At my first attempt, Charmian and Nakata became afflicted with the same sort of fascination, and for a long time afterward, whenever they saw me reach for the whip, they closed their eyes and shielded their heads with their arms.

Here’s the problem.  Instead of pulling honestly, Prince is lagging back and manoeuvring for a bite at Milda’s neck.  I have four reins in my hands.  I must put these four reins into my left hand, properly gather the whip handle and the bight of the lash in my right hand, and throw that lash past Maid without striking her and into Prince.  If the lash strikes Maid, her thoroughbredness will go up in the air, and I’ll have a case of horse hysteria on my hands for the next half hour.  But follow.  The whole problem is not yet stated.  Suppose that I miss Maid and reach the intended target.  The instant the lash cracks, the four horses jump, Prince most of all, and his jump, with spread wicked teeth, is for the back of Milda’s neck.  She jumps to escape—which is her second jump, for the first one came when the lash exploded.  The Outlaw reaches for Maid’s neck, and Maid, who has already jumped and tried to bolt, tries to bolt harder.  And all this infinitesimal fraction of time I am trying to hold the four animals with my left hand, while my whip-lash, writhing through the air, is coming back to me.  Three simultaneous things I must do: keep hold of the four reins with my left hand; slam on the brake with my foot; and on the rebound catch that flying lash in the hollow of my right arm and get the bight of it safely into my right hand.  Then I must get two of the four lines back into my right hand and keep the horses from running away or going over the grade.  Try it some time.  You will find life anything but wearisome.  Why, the first time I hit the mark and made the lash go off like a revolver shot, I was so astounded and delighted that I was paralysed.  I forgot to do any of the multitudinous other things, tangled the whip lash in Maid’s harness, and was forced to call upon Charmian for assistance.  And now, confession.  I carry a few pebbles handy.  They’re great for reaching Prince in a tight place.  But just the same I’m learning that whip every day, and before I get home I hope to discard the pebbles.  And as long as I rely on pebbles, I cannot truthfully speak of myself as “tooling a four-in-hand.”

From Garberville, where we ate eel to repletion and got acquainted with the aborigines, we drove down the Eel River Valley for two days through the most unthinkably glorious body of redwood timber to be seen anywhere in California.  From Dyerville on to Eureka, we caught glimpses of railroad construction and of great concrete bridges in the course of building, which advertised that at least Humboldt County was going to be linked to the rest of the world.

We still consider our trip is just begun.  As soon as this is mailed from Eureka, it’s heigh ho! for the horses and pull on.  We shall continue up the coast, turn in for Hoopa Reservation and the gold mines, and shoot down the Trinity and Klamath rivers in Indian canoes to Requa.  After that, we shall go on through Del Norte County and into Oregon.  The trip so far has justified us in taking the attitude that we won’t go home until the winter rains drive us in.  And, finally, I am going to try the experiment of putting the Outlaw in the lead and relegating Prince to his old position in the near wheel.  I won’t need any pebbles then.

It was at Quito, the mountain capital of Ecuador, that the following passage at correspondence took place.  Having occasion to buy a pair of shoes in a shop six feet by eight in size and with walls three feet thick, I noticed a mangy leopard skin on the floor.  I had no Spanish.  The shop-keeper had no English.  But I was an adept at sign language.  I wanted to know where I should go to buy leopard skins.  On my scribble-pad I drew the interesting streets of a city.  Then I drew a small shop, which, after much effort, I persuaded the proprietor into recognising as his shop.  Next, I indicated in my drawing that on the many streets there were many shops.  And, finally, I made myself into a living interrogation mark, pointing all the while from the mangy leopard skin to the many shops I had sketched.

But the proprietor failed to follow me.  So did his assistant.  The street came in to help—that is, as many as could crowd into the six-by-eight shop; while those that could not force their way in held an overflow meeting on the sidewalk.  The proprietor and the rest took turns at talking to me in rapid-fire Spanish, and, from the expressions on their faces, all concluded that I was remarkably stupid.  Again I went through my programme, pointing on the sketch from the one shop to the many shops, pointing out that in this particular shop was one leopard skin, and then questing interrogatively with my pencil among all the shops.  All regarded me in blank silence, until I saw comprehension suddenly dawn on the face of a small boy.

“Tigres montanya!” he cried.

This appealed to me as mountain tigers, namely, leopards; and in token that he understood, the boy made signs for me to follow him, which I obeyed.  He led me for a quarter of a mile, and paused before the doorway of a large building where soldiers slouched on sentry duty and in and out of which went other soldiers.  Motioning for me to remain, he ran inside.

Fifteen minutes later he was out again, without leopard skins, but full of information.  By means of my card, of my hotel card, of my watch, and of the boy’s fingers, I learned the following: that at six o’clock that evening he would arrive at my hotel with ten leopard skins for my inspection.  Further, I learned that the skins were the property of one Captain Ernesto Becucci.  Also, I learned that the boy’s name was Eliceo.

The boy was prompt.  At six o’clock he was at my room.  In his hand was a small roll addressed to me.  On opening it I found it to be manuscript piano music, theHora Tranquila Valse, or “Tranquil Hour Waltz,” by Ernesto Becucci.  I came for leopard skins, thought I, and the owner sends me sheet music instead.  But the boy assured me that he would have the skins at the hotel at nine next morning, and I entrusted to him the following letter of acknowledgment:

“DEAR CAPTAIN BECUCCI:“A thousand thanks for your kind presentation ofHora Tranquila Valse.  Mrs. London will play it for me this evening.“Sincerely yours,“Jack London.”

“DEAR CAPTAIN BECUCCI:

“A thousand thanks for your kind presentation ofHora Tranquila Valse.  Mrs. London will play it for me this evening.

“Sincerely yours,

“Jack London.”

Next morning Eliceo was back, but without the skins.  Instead, he gave me a letter, written in Spanish, of which the following is a free translation:

“To my dearest and always appreciated friend, I submit myself—“DEAR SIR:“I sent you last night an offering by the bearer of this note, and you returned me a letter which I translated.“Be it known to you, sir, that I am giving this waltz away in the best society, and therefore to your honoured self.  Therefore it is beholden to you to recognise the attention, I mean by a tangible return, as this composition was made by myself.  You will therefore send by your humble servant, the bearer, any offering, however minute, that you may be prompted to make.  Send it under cover of an envelope.  The bearer may be trusted.“I did not indulge in the pleasure of visiting your honourable self this morning, as I find my body not to be enjoying the normal exercise of its functions.“As regards the skins from the mountain, you shall be waited on by a small boy at seven o’clock at night with ten skins from which you may select those which most satisfy your aspirations.“In the hope that you will look upon this in the same light as myself, I beg to be allowed to remain,“Your most faithful servant,“CAPTAIN ERNESTO BECUCCI.”

“To my dearest and always appreciated friend, I submit myself—

“DEAR SIR:

“I sent you last night an offering by the bearer of this note, and you returned me a letter which I translated.

“Be it known to you, sir, that I am giving this waltz away in the best society, and therefore to your honoured self.  Therefore it is beholden to you to recognise the attention, I mean by a tangible return, as this composition was made by myself.  You will therefore send by your humble servant, the bearer, any offering, however minute, that you may be prompted to make.  Send it under cover of an envelope.  The bearer may be trusted.

“I did not indulge in the pleasure of visiting your honourable self this morning, as I find my body not to be enjoying the normal exercise of its functions.

“As regards the skins from the mountain, you shall be waited on by a small boy at seven o’clock at night with ten skins from which you may select those which most satisfy your aspirations.

“In the hope that you will look upon this in the same light as myself, I beg to be allowed to remain,

“Your most faithful servant,

“CAPTAIN ERNESTO BECUCCI.”

Well, thought I, this Captain Ernesto Becucci has shown himself to be such an undependable person, that, while I don’t mind rewarding him for his composition, I fear me if I do I never shall lay eyes on those leopard skins.  So to Eliceo I gave this letter for the Captain:

“MY DEAR CAPTAIN BECUCCI:“Have the boy bring the skins at seven o’clock this evening, when I shall be glad to look at them.  This evening when the boy brings the skins, I shall be pleased to give him, in an envelope, for you, a tangible return for your musical composition.“Please put the price on each skin, and also let me know for what sum all the skins will sell together.“Sincerely yours,“JACK LONDON.”

“MY DEAR CAPTAIN BECUCCI:

“Have the boy bring the skins at seven o’clock this evening, when I shall be glad to look at them.  This evening when the boy brings the skins, I shall be pleased to give him, in an envelope, for you, a tangible return for your musical composition.

“Please put the price on each skin, and also let me know for what sum all the skins will sell together.

“Sincerely yours,

“JACK LONDON.”

Now, thought I, I have him.  No skins, no tangible return; and evidently he is set on receiving that tangible return.

At seven o’clock Eliceo was back, but without leopard skins.  He handed me this letter:

“SEÑOR LONDON:“I wish to instil in you the belief that I lost to-day, at half past three in the afternoon, the key to my cubicle.  While distributing rations to the soldiers I dropped it.  I see in this loss the act of God.“I received a letter from your honourable self, delivered by the one who bears you this poor response of mine.  To-morrow I will burst open the door to permit me to keep my word with you.  I feel myself eternally shamed not to be able to dominate the evils that afflict colonial mankind.  Please send me the trifle that you offered me.  Send me this proof of your appreciation by the bearer, who is to be trusted.  Also give to him a small sum of money for himself, and earn the undying gratitude of“Your most faithful servant,“CAPTAIN ERNESTO BECUCCI.”

“SEÑOR LONDON:

“I wish to instil in you the belief that I lost to-day, at half past three in the afternoon, the key to my cubicle.  While distributing rations to the soldiers I dropped it.  I see in this loss the act of God.

“I received a letter from your honourable self, delivered by the one who bears you this poor response of mine.  To-morrow I will burst open the door to permit me to keep my word with you.  I feel myself eternally shamed not to be able to dominate the evils that afflict colonial mankind.  Please send me the trifle that you offered me.  Send me this proof of your appreciation by the bearer, who is to be trusted.  Also give to him a small sum of money for himself, and earn the undying gratitude of

“Your most faithful servant,

“CAPTAIN ERNESTO BECUCCI.”

Also, inclosed in the foregoing letter was the following original poem, à propos neither of leopard skins nor tangible returns, so far as I can make out:

EFFUSIONThou canst not weep;Nor ask I for a yearTo rid me of my woesOr make my life more dear.The mystic chains that boundThy all-fond heart to mine,Alas! asundered areFor now and for all time.In vain you strove to hide,From vulgar gaze of man,The burning glance of loveThat none but Love can scan.Go on thy starlit wayAnd leave me to my fate;Our souls must needs unite—But, God! ’twill be too late.

EFFUSION

Thou canst not weep;Nor ask I for a yearTo rid me of my woesOr make my life more dear.

The mystic chains that boundThy all-fond heart to mine,Alas! asundered areFor now and for all time.

In vain you strove to hide,From vulgar gaze of man,The burning glance of loveThat none but Love can scan.

Go on thy starlit wayAnd leave me to my fate;Our souls must needs unite—But, God! ’twill be too late.

To all and sundry of which I replied:

“MY DEAR CAPTAIN BECUCCI:“I regret exceedingly to hear that by act of God, at half past three this afternoon, you lost the key to your cubicle.  Please have the boy bring the skins at seven o’clock to-morrow morning, at which time, when he brings the skins, I shall be glad to make you that tangible return for your ‘Tranquil Hour Waltz.’“Sincerely yours,“JACK LONDON.”

“MY DEAR CAPTAIN BECUCCI:

“I regret exceedingly to hear that by act of God, at half past three this afternoon, you lost the key to your cubicle.  Please have the boy bring the skins at seven o’clock to-morrow morning, at which time, when he brings the skins, I shall be glad to make you that tangible return for your ‘Tranquil Hour Waltz.’

“Sincerely yours,

“JACK LONDON.”

At seven o’clock came no skins, but the following:

“SIR:“After offering you my most sincere respects, I beg to continue by telling you that no one, up to the time of writing, has treated me with such lack of attention.  It was a present togentlemenwho were to retain the piece of music, and who have all, without exception, made me a present of five dollars.  It is beyond my humble capacity to believe that you, after having offered to send me money in an envelope, should fail to do so.“Send me, I pray of you, the money to remunerate the small boy for his repeated visits to you.  Please be discreet and send it in an envelope by the bearer.“Last night I came to the hotel with the boy.  You were dining.  I waited more than an hour for you and then went to the theatre.  Give the boy some small amount, and send me a like offering of larger proportions.“Awaiting incessantly a slight attention on your part,“CAPTAIN ERNESTO BECUCCI.”

“SIR:

“After offering you my most sincere respects, I beg to continue by telling you that no one, up to the time of writing, has treated me with such lack of attention.  It was a present togentlemenwho were to retain the piece of music, and who have all, without exception, made me a present of five dollars.  It is beyond my humble capacity to believe that you, after having offered to send me money in an envelope, should fail to do so.

“Send me, I pray of you, the money to remunerate the small boy for his repeated visits to you.  Please be discreet and send it in an envelope by the bearer.

“Last night I came to the hotel with the boy.  You were dining.  I waited more than an hour for you and then went to the theatre.  Give the boy some small amount, and send me a like offering of larger proportions.

“Awaiting incessantly a slight attention on your part,

“CAPTAIN ERNESTO BECUCCI.”

And here, like one of George Moore’s realistic studies, ends this intercourse with Captain Ernesto Becucci.  Nothing happened.  Nothing ever came to anything.  He got no tangible return, and I got no leopard skins.  The tangible return he might have got, I presented to Eliceo, who promptly invested it in a pair of trousers and a ticket to the bull-fight.

(NOTE TO EDITOR.—This is a faithful narration of what actually happened in Quito, Ecuador.)

The month in which my seventeenth birthday arrived I signed on before the mast on theSophie Sutherland, a three-topmast schooner bound on a seven-months’ seal-hunting cruise to the coast of Japan.  We sailed from San Francisco, and immediately I found confronting me a problem of no inconsiderable proportions.  There were twelve men of us in the forecastle, ten of whom were hardened, tarry-thumbed sailors.  Not alone was I a youth and on my first voyage, but I had for shipmates men who had come through the hard school of the merchant service of Europe.  As boys, they had had to perform their ship’s duty, and, in addition, by immemorial sea custom, they had had to be the slaves of the ordinary and able-bodied seamen.  When they became ordinary seamen they were still the slaves of the able-bodied.  Thus, in the forecastle, with the watch below, an able seaman, lying in his bunk, will order an ordinary seaman to fetch him his shoes or bring him a drink of water.  Now the ordinary seaman may be lying inhisbunk.  He is just as tired as the able seaman.  Yet he must get out of his bunk and fetch and carry.  If he refuses, he will be beaten.  If, perchance, he is so strong that he can whip the able seaman, then all the able seamen, or as many as may be necessary, pitch upon the luckless devil and administer the beating.

My problem now becomes apparent.  These hard-bit Scandinavian sailors had come through a hard school.  As boys they had served their mates, and as able seamen they looked to be served by other boys.  I was a boy—withal with a man’s body.  I had never been to sea before—withal I was a good sailor and knew my business.  It was either a case of holding my own with them or of going under.  I had signed on as an equal, and an equal I must maintain myself, or else endure seven months of hell at their hands.  And it was this very equality they resented.  By what right was I an equal?  I had not earned that high privilege.  I had not endured the miseries they had endured as maltreated boys or bullied ordinaries.  Worse than that, I was a land-lubber making his first voyage.  And yet, by the injustice of fate, on the ship’s articles I was their equal.

My method was deliberate, and simple, and drastic.  In the first place, I resolved to do my work, no matter how hard or dangerous it might be, so well that no man would be called upon to do it for me.  Further, I put ginger in my muscles.  I never malingered when pulling on a rope, for I knew the eagle eyes of my forecastle mates were squinting for just such evidences of my inferiority.  I made it a point to be among the first of the watch going on deck, among the last going below, never leaving a sheet or tackle for some one else to coil over a pin.  I was always eager for the run aloft for the shifting of topsail sheets and tacks, or for the setting or taking in of topsails; and in these matters I did more than my share.

Furthermore, I was on a hair-trigger of resentment myself.  I knew better than to accept any abuse or the slightest patronizing.  At the first hint of such, I went off—I exploded.  I might be beaten in the subsequent fight, but I left the impression that I was a wild-cat and that I would just as willingly fight again.  My intention was to demonstrate that I would tolerate no imposition.  I proved that the man who imposed on me must have a fight on his hands.  And doing my work well, the innate justice of the men, assisted by their wholesome dislike for a clawing and rending wild-cat ruction, soon led them to give over their hectoring.  After a bit of strife, my attitude was accepted, and it was my pride that I was taken in as an equal in spirit as well as in fact.  From then on, everything was beautiful, and the voyage promised to be a happy one.

But there was one other man in the forecastle.  Counting the Scandinavians as ten, and myself as the eleventh, this man was the twelfth and last.  We never knew his name, contenting ourselves with calling him the “Bricklayer.”  He was from Missouri—at least he so informed us in the one meagre confidence he was guilty of in the early days of the voyage.  Also, at that time, we learned several other things.  He was a bricklayer by trade.  He had never even seen salt water until the week before he joined us, at which time he had arrived in San Francisco and looked upon San Francisco Bay.  Why he, of all men, at forty years of age, should have felt the prod to go to sea, was beyond all of us; for it was our unanimous conviction that no man less fitted for the sea had ever embarked on it.  But to sea he had come.  After a week’s stay in a sailors’ boarding-house, he had been shoved aboard of us as an able seaman.

All hands had to do his work for him.  Not only did he know nothing, but he proved himself unable to learn anything.  Try as they would, they could never teach him to steer.  To him the compass must have been a profound and awful whirligig.  He never mastered its cardinal points, much less the checking and steadying of the ship on her course.  He never did come to know whether ropes should be coiled from left to right or from right to left.  It was mentally impossible for him to learn the easy muscular trick of throwing his weight on a rope in pulling and hauling.  The simplest knots and turns were beyond his comprehension, while he was mortally afraid of going aloft.  Bullied by captain and mate, he was one day forced aloft.  He managed to get underneath the crosstrees, and there he froze to the ratlines.  Two sailors had to go after him to help him down.

All of which was bad enough had there been no worse.  But he was vicious, malignant, dirty, and without common decency.  He was a tall, powerful man, and he fought with everybody.  And there was no fairness in his fighting.  His first fight on board, the first day out, was with me, when he, desiring to cut a plug of chewing tobacco, took my personal table-knife for the purpose, and whereupon, I, on a hair-trigger, promptly exploded.  After that he fought with nearly every member of the crew.  When his clothing became too filthy to be bearable by the rest of us, we put it to soak and stood over him while he washed it.  In short, the Bricklayer was one of those horrible and monstrous things that one must see in order to be convinced that they exist.

I will only say that he was a beast, and that we treated him like a beast.  It is only by looking back through the years that I realise how heartless we were to him.  He was without sin.  He could not, by the very nature of things, have been anything else than he was.  He had not made himself, and for his making he was not responsible.  Yet we treated him as a free agent and held him personally responsible for all that he was and that he should not have been.  As a result, our treatment of him was as terrible as he was himself terrible.  Finally we gave him the silent treatment, and for weeks before he died we neither spoke to him nor did he speak to us.  And for weeks he moved among us, or lay in his bunk in our crowded house, grinning at us his hatred and malignancy.  He was a dying man, and he knew it, and we knew it.  And furthermore, he knew that we wanted him to die.  He cumbered our life with his presence, and ours was a rough life that made rough men of us.  And so he died, in a small space crowded by twelve men and as much alone as if he had died on some desolate mountain peak.  No kindly word, no last word, was passed between.  He died as he had lived, a beast, and he died hating us and hated by us.

And now I come to the most startling moment of my life.  No sooner was he dead than he was flung overboard.  He died in a night of wind, drawing his last breath as the men tumbled into their oilskins to the cry of “All hands!”  And he was flung overboard, several hours later, on a day of wind.  Not even a canvas wrapping graced his mortal remains; nor was he deemed worthy of bars of iron at his feet.  We sewed him up in the blankets in which he died and laid him on a hatch-cover for’ard of the main-hatch on the port side.  A gunnysack, half full of galley coal, was fastened to his feet.

It was bitter cold.  The weather-side of every rope, spar, and stay was coated with ice, while all the rigging was a harp, singing and shouting under the fierce hand of the wind.  The schooner, hove to, lurched and floundered through the sea, rolling her scuppers under and perpetually flooding the deck with icy salt water.  We of the forecastle stood in sea-boots and oilskins.  Our hands were mittened, but our heads were bared in the presence of the death we did not respect.  Our ears stung and numbed and whitened, and we yearned for the body to be gone.  But the interminable reading of the burial service went on.  The captain had mistaken his place, and while he read on without purpose we froze our ears and resented this final hardship thrust upon us by the helpless cadaver.  As from the beginning, so to the end, everything had gone wrong with the Bricklayer.  Finally, the captain’s son, irritated beyond measure, jerked the book from the palsied fingers of the old man and found the place.  Again the quavering voice of the captain arose.  Then came the cue: “And the body shall be cast into the sea.”  We elevated one end of the hatch-cover, and the Bricklayer plunged outboard and was gone.

Back into the forecastle we cleaned house, washing out the dead man’s bunk and removing every vestige of him.  By sea law and sea custom, we should have gathered his effects together and turned them over to the captain, who, later, would have held an auction in which we should have bid for the various articles.  But no man wanted them, so we tossed them up on deck and overboard in the wake of the departed body—the last ill-treatment we could devise to wreak upon the one we had hated so.  Oh, it was raw, believe me; but the life we lived was raw, and we were as raw as the life.

The Bricklayer’s bunk was better than mine.  Less sea water leaked down through the deck into it, and the light was better for lying in bed and reading.  Partly for this reason I proceeded to move into his bunk.  My other reason was pride.  I saw the sailors were superstitious, and by this act I determined to show that I was braver than they.  I would cap my proved equality by a deed that would compel their recognition of my superiority.  Oh, the arrogance of youth!  But let that pass.  The sailors were appalled by my intention.  One and all, they warned me that in the history of the sea no man had taken a dead man’s bunk and lived to the end of the voyage.  They instanced case after case in their personal experience.  I was obdurate.  Then they begged and pleaded with me, and my pride was tickled in that they showed they really liked me and were concerned about me.  This but served to confirm me in my madness.  I moved in, and, lying in the dead man’s bunk, all afternoon and evening listened to dire prophecies of my future.  Also were told stories of awful deaths and gruesome ghosts that secretly shivered the hearts of all of us.  Saturated with this, yet scoffing at it, I rolled over at the end of the second dog-watch and went to sleep.

At ten minutes to twelve I was called, and at twelve I was dressed and on deck, relieving the man who had called me.  On the sealing grounds, when hove to, a watch of only a single man is kept through the night, each man holding the deck for an hour.  It was a dark night, though not a black one.  The gale was breaking up, and the clouds were thinning.  There should have been a moon, and, though invisible, in some way a dim, suffused radiance came from it.  I paced back and forth across the deck amidships.  My mind was filled with the event of the day and with the horrible tales my shipmates had told, and yet I dare to say, here and now, that I was not afraid.  I was a healthy animal, and furthermore, intellectually, I agreed with Swinburne that dead men rise up never.  The Bricklayer was dead, and that was the end of it.  He would rise up never—at least, never on the deck of theSophie Sutherland.  Even then he was in the ocean depths miles to windward of our leeward drift, and the likelihood was that he was already portioned out in the maws of many sharks.  Still, my mind pondered on the tales of the ghosts of dead men I had heard, and I speculated on the spirit world.  My conclusion was that if the spirits of the dead still roamed the world they carried the goodness or the malignancy of the earth-life with them.  Therefore, granting the hypothesis (which I didn’t grant at all), the ghost of the Bricklayer was bound to be as hateful and malignant as he in life had been.  But there wasn’t any Bricklayer’s ghost—that I insisted upon.

A few minutes, thinking thus, I paced up and down.  Then, glancing casually for’ard, along the port side, I leaped like a startled deer and in a blind madness of terror rushed aft along the poop, heading for the cabin.  Gone was all my arrogance of youth and my intellectual calm.  I had seen a ghost.  There, in the dim light, where we had flung the dead man overboard, I had seen a faint and wavering form.  Six-feet in length it was, slender, and of substance so attenuated that I had distinctly seen through it the tracery of the fore-rigging.

As for me, I was as panic-stricken as a frightened horse.  I, as I, had ceased to exist.  Through me were vibrating the fibre-instincts of ten thousand generations of superstitious forebears who had been afraid of the dark and the things of the dark.  I was not I.  I was, in truth, those ten thousand forebears.  I was the race, the whole human race, in its superstitious infancy.  Not until part way down the cabin-companionway did my identity return to me.  I checked my flight and clung to the steep ladder, suffocating, trembling, and dizzy.  Never, before nor since, have I had such a shock.  I clung to the ladder and considered.  I could not doubt my senses.  That I had seen something there was no discussion.  But what was it?  Either a ghost or a joke.  There could be nothing else.  If a ghost, the question was: would it appear again?  If it did not, and I aroused the ship’s officers, I would make myself the laughing stock of all on board.  And by the same token, if it were a joke, my position would be still more ridiculous.  If I were to retain my hard-won place of equality, it would never do to arouse any one until I ascertained the nature of the thing.

I am a brave man.  I dare to say so; for in fear and trembling I crept up the companion-way and went back to the spot from which I had first seen the thing.  It had vanished.  My bravery was qualified, however.  Though I could see nothing, I was afraid to go for’ard to the spot where I had seen the thing.  I resumed my pacing up and down, and though I cast many an anxious glance toward the dread spot, nothing manifested itself.  As my equanimity returned to me, I concluded that the whole affair had been a trick of the imagination and that I had got what I deserved for allowing my mind to dwell on such matters.

Once more my glances for’ard were casual, and not anxious; and then, suddenly, I was a madman, rushing wildly aft.  I had seen the thing again, the long, wavering attenuated substance through which could be seen the fore-rigging.  This time I had reached only the break of the poop when I checked myself.  Again I reasoned over the situation, and it was pride that counselled strongest.  I could not afford to make myself a laughing-stock.  This thing, whatever it was, I must face alone.  I must work it out myself.  I looked back to the spot where we had tilted the Bricklayer.  It was vacant.  Nothing moved.  And for a third time I resumed my amidships pacing.

In the absence of the thing my fear died away and my intellectual poise returned.  Of course it was not a ghost.  Dead men did not rise up.  It was a joke, a cruel joke.  My mates of the forecastle, by some unknown means, were frightening me.  Twice already must they have seen me run aft.  My cheeks burned with shame.  In fancy I could hear the smothered chuckling and laughter even then going on in the forecastle.  I began to grow angry.  Jokes were all very well, but this was carrying the thing too far.  I was the youngest on board, only a youth, and they had no right to play tricks on me of the order that I well knew in the past had made raving maniacs of men and women.  I grew angrier and angrier, and resolved to show them that I was made of sterner stuff and at the same time to wreak my resentment upon them.  If the thing appeared again, I made my mind up that I would go up to it—furthermore, that I would go up to it knife in hand.  When within striking distance, I would strike.  If a man, he would get the knife-thrust he deserved.  If a ghost, well, it wouldn’t hurt the ghost any, while I would have learned that dead men did rise up.

Now I was very angry, and I was quite sure the thing was a trick; but when the thing appeared a third time, in the same spot, long, attenuated, and wavering, fear surged up in me and drove most of my anger away.  But I did not run.  Nor did I take my eyes from the thing.  Both times before, it had vanished while I was running away, so I had not seen the manner of its going.  I drew my sheath-knife from my belt and began my advance.  Step by step, nearer and nearer, the effort to control myself grew more severe.  The struggle was between my will, my identity, my very self, on the one hand, and on the other, the ten thousand ancestors who were twisted into the fibres of me and whose ghostly voices were whispering of the dark and the fear of the dark that had been theirs in the time when the world was dark and full of terror.

I advanced more slowly, and still the thing wavered and flitted with strange eerie lurches.  And then, right before my eyes, it vanished.  I saw it vanish.  Neither to the right nor left did it go, nor backward.  Right there, while I gazed upon it, it faded away, ceased to be.  I didn’t die, but I swear, from what I experienced in those few succeeding moments, that I know full well that men can die of fright.  I stood there, knife in hand, swaying automatically to the roll of the ship, paralysed with fear.  Had the Bricklayer suddenly seized my throat with corporeal fingers and proceeded to throttle me, it would have been no more than I expected.  Dead men did rise up, and that would be the most likely thing the malignant Bricklayer would do.

But he didn’t seize my throat.  Nothing happened.  And, since nature abhors a status, I could not remain there in the one place forever paralysed.  I turned and started aft.  I did not run.  What was the use?  What chance had I against the malevolent world of ghosts?  Flight, with me, was the swiftness of my legs.  The pursuit, with a ghost, was the swiftness of thought.  And there were ghosts.  I had seen one.

And so, stumbling slowly aft, I discovered the explanation of the seeming.  I saw the mizzen topmast lurching across a faint radiance of cloud behind which was the moon.  The idea leaped in my brain.  I extended the line between the cloudy radiance and the mizzen-topmast and found that it must strike somewhere near the fore-rigging on the port side.  Even as I did this, the radiance vanished.  The driving clouds of the breaking gale were alternately thickening and thinning before the face of the moon, but never exposing the face of the moon.  And when the clouds were at their thinnest, it was a very dim radiance that the moon was able to make.  I watched and waited.  The next time the clouds thinned I looked for’ard, and there was the shadow of the topmast, long and attenuated, wavering and lurching on the deck and against the rigging.

This was my first ghost.  Once again have I seen a ghost.  It proved to be a Newfoundland dog, and I don’t know which of us was the more frightened, for I hit that Newfoundland a full right-arm swing to the jaw.  Regarding the Bricklayer’s ghost, I will say that I never mentioned it to a soul on board.  Also, I will say that in all my life I never went through more torment and mental suffering than on that lonely night-watch on theSophie Sutherland.

(TO THE EDITOR.—This is not a fiction.  It is a true page out of my life.)

Introduction to “Two Years before the Mast.”

Introduction to “Two Years before the Mast.”

Once in a hundred years is a book written that lives not alone for its own century but which becomes a document for the future centuries.  Such a book is Dana’s.  When Marryat’s and Cooper’s sea novels are gone to dust, stimulating and joyful as they have been to generations of men, still will remain “Two Years Before the Mast.”

Paradoxical as it may seem, Dana’s book is the classic of the sea, not because there was anything extraordinary about Dana, but for the precise contrary reason that he was just an ordinary, normal man, clear-seeing, hard-headed, controlled, fitted with adequate education to go about the work.  He brought a trained mind to put down with untroubled vision what he saw of a certain phase of work-a-day life.  There was nothing brilliant nor fly-away about him.  He was not a genius.  His heart never rode his head.  He was neither overlorded by sentiment nor hag-ridden by imagination.  Otherwise he might have been guilty of the beautiful exaggerations in Melville’s “Typee” or the imaginative orgies in the latter’s “Moby Dick.”  It was Dana’s cool poise that saved him from being spread-eagled and flogged when two of his mates were so treated; it was his lack of abandon that prevented him from taking up permanently with the sea, that prevented him from seeing more than one poetical spot, and more than one romantic spot on all the coast of Old California.  Yet these apparent defects were his strength.  They enabled him magnificently to write, and for all time, the picture of the sea-life of his time.

Written close to the middle of the last century, such has been the revolution worked in man’s method of trafficking with the sea, that the life and conditions described in Dana’s book have passed utterly away.  Gone are the crack clippers, the driving captains, the hard-bitten but efficient foremast hands.  Remain only crawling cargo tanks, dirty tramps, greyhound liners, and a sombre, sordid type of sailing ship.  The only records broken to-day by sailing vessels are those for slowness.  They are no longer built for speed, nor are they manned before the mast by as sturdy a sailor stock, nor aft the mast are they officered by sail-carrying captains and driving mates.

Speed is left to the liners, who run the silk, and tea, and spices.  Admiralty courts, boards of trade, and underwriters frown upon driving and sail-carrying.  No more are the free-and-easy, dare-devil days, when fortunes were made in fast runs and lucky ventures, not alone for owners, but for captains as well.  Nothing is ventured now.  The risks of swift passages cannot be abided.  Freights are calculated to the last least fraction of per cent.  The captains do no speculating, no bargain-making for the owners.  The latter attend to all this, and by wire and cable rake the ports of the seven seas in quest of cargoes, and through their agents make all business arrangements.

It has been learned that small crews only, and large carriers only, can return a decent interest on the investment.  The inevitable corollary is that speed and spirit are at a discount.  There is no discussion of the fact that in the sailing merchant marine the seamen, as a class, have sadly deteriorated.  Men no longer sell farms to go to sea.  But the time of which Dana writes was the heyday of fortune-making and adventure on the sea—with the full connotation of hardship and peril always attendant.

It was Dana’s fortune, for the sake of the picture, that thePilgrimwas an average ship, with an average crew and officers, and managed with average discipline.  Even thehazingthat took place after the California coast was reached, was of the average sort.  ThePilgrimsavoured not in any way of a hell-ship.  The captain, while not the sweetest-natured man in the world, was only an average down-east driver, neither brilliant nor slovenly in his seamanship, neither cruel nor sentimental in the treatment of his men.  While, on the one hand, there were no extra liberty days, no delicacies added to the meagre forecastle fare, nor grog or hot coffee on double watches, on the other hand the crew were not chronically crippled by the continual play of knuckle-dusters and belaying pins.  Once, and once only, were men flogged or ironed—a very fair average for the year 1834, for at that time flogging on board merchant vessels was already well on the decline.

The difference between the sea-life then and now can be no better epitomised than in Dana’s description of the dress of the sailor of his day:

“The trousers tight around the hips, and thence hanging long and loose around the feet, a superabundance of checked shirt, a low-crowned, well-varnished black hat, worn on the back of the head, with half a fathom of black ribbon hanging over the left eye, and a peculiar tie to the black silk neckerchief.”

Though Dana sailed from Boston only three-quarters of a century ago, much that is at present obsolete was then in full sway.  For instance, the old wordlarboardwas still in use.  He was a member of thelarboardwatch.  The vessel was on thelarboardtack.  It was only the other day, because of its similarity in sound to starboard, thatlarboardwas changed toport.  Try to imagine “All larboard bowlines on deck!” being shouted down into the forecastle of a present day ship.  Yet that was the call used on thePilgrimto fetch Dana and the rest of his watch on deck.

The chronometer, which is merely the least imperfect time-piece man has devised, makes possible the surest and easiest method by far of ascertaining longitude.  Yet thePilgrimsailed in a day when the chronometer was just coming into general use.  So little was it depended upon that thePilgrimcarried only one, and that one, going wrong at the outset, was never used again.  A navigator of the present would be aghast if asked to voyage for two years, from Boston, around the Horn to California, and back again, without a chronometer.  In those days such a proceeding was a matter of course, for those were the days when dead reckoning was indeed something to reckon on, when running down the latitude was a common way of finding a place, and when lunar observations were direly necessary.  It may be fairly asserted that very few merchant officers of to-day ever make a lunar observation, and that a large percentage are unable to do it.

“Sept. 22nd., upon coming on deck at seven bells in the morning we found the other watch aloft throwing water upon the sails, and looking astern we saw a small, clipper-built brig with a black hull heading directly after us.  We went to work immediately, and put all the canvas upon the brig which we could get upon her, rigging out oars for studding-sail yards; and contined wetting down the sails by buckets of water whipped up to the mast-head . . . She was armed, and full of men, and showed no colours.”

The foregoing sounds like a paragraph from “Midshipman Easy” or the “Water Witch,” rather than a paragraph from the soberest, faithfullest, and most literal chronicle of the sea ever written.  And yet the chase by a pirate occurred, on board the brigPilgrim, on September 22nd, 1834—something like only two generations ago.

Dana was the thorough-going type of man, not overbalanced and erratic, without quirk or quibble of temperament.  He was efficient, but not brilliant.  His was a general all-round efficiency.  He was efficient at the law; he was efficient at college; he was efficient as a sailor; he was efficient in the matter of pride, when that pride was no more than the pride of a forecastle hand, at twelve dollars a month, in his seaman’s task well done, in the smart sailing of his captain, in the clearness and trimness of his ship.

There is no sailor whose cockles of the heart will not warm to Dana’s description of the first time he sent down a royal yard.  Once or twice he had seen it done.  He got an old hand in the crew to coach him.  And then, the first anchorage at Monterey, being prettythickwith the second mate, he got him to ask the mate to be sent up the first time the royal yards were struck.  “Fortunately,” as Dana describes it, “I got through without any word from the officer; and heard the ‘well done’ of the mate, when the yard reached the deck, with as much satisfaction as I ever felt at Cambridge on seeing a ‘bene’ at the foot of a Latin exercise.”

“This was the first time I had taken a weather ear-ring, and I felt not a little proud to sit astride of the weather yard-arm, past the ear-ring, and sing out ‘Haul out to leeward!’”  He had been over a year at sea before he essayed this able seaman’s task, but he did it, and he did it with pride.  And with pride, he went down a four-hundred foot cliff, on a pair of top-gallant studding-sail halyards bent together, to dislodge several dollars worth of stranded bullock hides, though all the acclaim he got from his mates was: “What a d-d fool you were to risk your life for half a dozen hides!”

In brief, it was just this efficiency in pride, as well as work, that enabled Dana to set down, not merely the photograph detail of life before the mast and hide-droghing on the coast of California, but of the untarnished simple psychology and ethics of the forecastle hands who droghed the hides, stood at the wheel, made and took in sail, tarred down the rigging, holystoned the decks, turned in all-standing, grumbled as they cut about the kid, criticised the seamanship of their officers, and estimated the duration of their exile from the cubic space of the hide-house.

JACK LONDONGlen Ellen, California,August 13, 1911.

Scene—California.

Time—Afternoon of a summer day.

CHARACTERS

LORETTA, A sweet, young thing.  Frightfully innocent.  About nineteen years old.  Slender, delicate, a fragile flower.  Ingenuous.

NED BASHFORD, A jaded young man of the world, who has philosophised his experiences and who is without faith in the veracity or purity of women.

BILLY MARSH, A boy from a country town who is just about as innocent as Loretta.  Awkward.  Positive.  Raw and callow youth.

ALICE HEMINGWAY, A society woman, good-hearted, and a match-maker.

JACK HEMINGWAY, Her husband.

MAID.

[Curtain rises on a conventional living room of a country house in California.  It is the Hemingway house at Santa Clara.  The room is remarkable for magnificent stone fireplace at rear centre.  On either side of fireplace are generous, diamond-paned windows.  Wide, curtained doorways to right and left.  To left, front, table, with vase of flowers and chairs.  To right, front, grand piano.]

[Curtain discovers LORETTA seated at piano, not playing, her back to it, facing NED BASHFORD, who is standing.]

LORETTA.  [Petulantly, fanning herself with sheet of music.]  No, I won’t go fishing.  It’s too warm.  Besides, the fish won’t bite so early in the afternoon.

NED.  Oh, come on.  It’s not warm at all.  And anyway, we won’t really fish.  I want to tell you something.

LORETTA.  [Still petulantly.]  You are always wanting to tell me something.

NED.  Yes, but only in fun.  This is different.  This is serious.  Our . . . my happiness depends upon it.

LORETTA.  [Speaking eagerly, no longer petulant, looking, serious and delighted, divining a proposal.]  Then don’t wait.  Tell me right here.

NED.  [Almost threateningly.]  Shall I?

LORETTA.  [Challenging.]  Yes.

[He looks around apprehensively as though fearing interruption, clears his throat, takes resolution, also takes LORETTA’s hand.]

[LORETTA is startled, timid, yet willing to hear, naïvely unable to conceal her love for him.]

NED.  [Speaking softly.]  Loretta  . . . I, . . . ever since I met you I have—

[JACK HEMINGWAY appears in the doorway to the left, just entering.]

[NED suddenly drops LORETTA’s hand.  He shows exasperation.]

[LORETTA shows disappointment at interruption.]

NED.  Confound it

LORETTA.  [Shocked.]  Ned!  Why will you swear so?

NED.  [Testily.]  That isn’t swearing.

LORETTA.  What is it, pray?

NED.  Displeasuring.

JACK HEMINGWAY.  [Who is crossing over to right.]  Squabbling again?

LORETTA.  [Indignantly and with dignity.]  No, we’re not.

NED.  [Gruffly.]  What do you want now?

JACK HEMINGWAY.  [Enthusiastically.]  Come on fishing.

NED.  [Snappily.]  No.  It’s too warm.

JACK HEMINGWAY.  [Resignedly, going out right.]  You needn’t take a fellow’s head off.

LORETTA.  I thought you wanted to go fishing.

NED.  Not with Jack.

LORETTA.  [Accusingly, fanning herself vigorously.]  And you told me it wasn’t warm at all.

NED.  [Speaking softly.]  That isn’t what I wanted to tell you, Loretta.  [He takes her hand.]  Dear Loretta—

[Enter abruptly ALICE HEMINGWAY from right.]

[LORETTA sharply jerks her hand away, and looks put out.]

[NED tries not to look awkward.]

ALICE HEMINGWAY.  Goodness!  I thought you’d both gone fishing!

LORETTA.  [Sweetly.]  Is there anything you want, Alice?

NED.  [Trying to be courteous.]  Anything I can do?

ALICE HEMINGWAY.  [Speaking quickly, and trying to withdraw.]  No, no.  I only came to see if the mail had arrived.

LORETTA AND NED

[Speaking together.]  No, it hasn’t arrived.

LORETTA.  [Suddenly moving toward door to right.]  I am going to see.

[NED looks at her reproachfully.]

[LORETTA looks back tantalisingly from doorway and disappears.]

[NED flings himself disgustedly into Morris chair.]

ALICE HEMINGWAY.  [Moving over and standing in front of him.  Speaks accusingly.]  What have you been saying to her?

NED.  [Disgruntled.]  Nothing.

ALICE HEMINGWAY.  [Threateningly.]  Now listen to me, Ned.

NED.  [Earnestly.]  On my word, Alice, I’ve been saying nothing to her.

ALICE HEMINGWAY.  [With sudden change of front.]  Then you ought to have been saying something to her.

NED.  [Irritably.  Getting chair for her, seating her, and seating himself again.]  Look here, Alice, I know your game.  You invited me down here to make a fool of me.

ALICE HEMINGWAY.  Nothing of the sort, sir.  I asked you down to meet a sweet and unsullied girl—the sweetest, most innocent and ingenuous girl in the world.

NED.  [Dryly.]  That’s what you said in your letter.

ALICE HEMINGWAY.  And that’s why you came.  Jack had been trying for a year to get you to come.  He did not know what kind of a letter to write.

NED.  If you think I came because of a line in a letter about a girl I’d never seen—

ALICE HEMINGWAY.  [Mockingly.]  The poor, jaded, world-worn man, who is no longer interested in women . . . and girls!  The poor, tired pessimist who has lost all faith in the goodness of women—

NED.  For which you are responsible.

ALICE HEMINGWAY.  [Incredulously.]  I?

NED.  You are responsible.  Why did you throw me over and marry Jack?

ALICE HEMINGWAY.  Do you want to know?

NED.  Yes.

ALICE HEMINGWAY.  [Judiciously.]  First, because I did not love you.  Second, because you did not love me.  [She smiles at his protesting hand and at the protesting expression on his face.]  And third, because there were just about twenty-seven other women at that time that you loved, or thought you loved.  That is why I married Jack.  And that is why you lost faith in the goodness of women.  You have only yourself to blame.

NED.  [Admiringly.]  You talk so convincingly.  I almost believe you as I listen to you.  And yet I know all the time that you are like all the rest of your sex—faithless, unveracious, and . . .

[He glares at her, but does not proceed.]

ALICE HEMINGWAY.  Go on.  I’m not afraid.

NED.  [With finality.]  And immoral.

ALICE HEMINGWAY.  Oh!  You wretch!

NED.  [Gloatingly.]  That’s right.  Get angry.  You may break the furniture if you wish.  I don’t mind.

ALICE HEMINGWAY.  [With sudden change of front, softly.]  And how about Loretta?

[NED gasps and remains silent.]

ALICE HEMINGWAY.  The depths of duplicity that must lurk under that sweet and innocent exterior . . . according to your philosophy!

NED.  [Earnestly.]  Loretta is an exception, I confess.  She is all that you said in your letter.  She is a little fairy, an angel.  I never dreamed of anything like her.  It is remarkable to find such a woman in this age.

ALICE HEMINGWAY.  [Encouragingly.]  She is so naive.

NED.  [Taking the bait.]  Yes, isn’t she?  Her face and her tongue betray all her secrets.

ALICE HEMINGWAY.  [Nodding her head.]  Yes, I have noticed it.

NED.  [Delightedly.]  Have you?

ALICE HEMINGWAY.  She cannot conceal anything.  Do you know that she loves you?

NED.  [Falling into the trap, eagerly.]  Do you think so?

ALICE HEMINGWAY.  [Laughing and rising.]  And to think I once permitted you to make love to me for three weeks!

[NED rises.]

[MAID enters from left with letters, which she brings to ALICE HEMINGWAY.]

ALICE HEMINGWAY.  [Running over letters.]  None for you, Ned.  [Selecting two letters for herself.]  Tradesmen.  [Handing remainder of letters to MAID.]  And three for Loretta.  [Speaking to MAID.]  Put them on the table, Josie.

[MAID puts letters on table to left front, and makes exit to left.]

NED.  [With shade of jealousy.]  Loretta seems to have quite a correspondence.

ALICE HEMINGWAY.  [With a sigh.]  Yes, as I used to when I was a girl.

NED.  But hers are family letters.

ALICE HEMINGWAY.  Yes, I did not notice any from Billy.

NED.  [Faintly.]  Billy?

ALICE HEMINGWAY.  [Nodding.]  Of course she has told you about him?

NED.  [Gasping.]  She has had lovers . . . already?

ALICE HEMINGWAY.  And why not?  She is nineteen.

NED.  [Haltingly.]  This . . . er . . . this Billy . . . ?

ALICE HEMINGWAY.  [Laughing and putting her hand reassuringly on his arm.]  Now don’t be alarmed, poor, tired philosopher.  She doesn’t love Billy at all.

[LORETTA enters from right.]

ALICE HEMINGWAY.  [To LORETTA, nodding toward table.]  Three letters for you.

LORETTA.  [Delightedly.]  Oh!  Thank you.

[LORETTA trips swiftly across to table, looks at letters, sits down, opens letters, and begins to read.]

NED.  [Suspiciously.]  But Billy?

ALICE HEMINGWAY.  I am afraid he loves her very hard.  That is why she is here.  They had to send her away.  Billy was making life miserable for her.  They were little children together—playmates.  And Billy has been, well, importunate.  And Loretta, poor child, does not know anything about marriage.  That is all.

NED.  [Reassured.]  Oh, I see.

[ALICE HEMINGWAY starts slowly toward right exit, continuing conversation and accompanied by NED.]

ALICE HEMINGWAY.  [Calling to LORETTA.]  Are you going fishing, Loretta?

[LORETTA looks up from letter and shakes head.]

ALICE HEMINGWAY.  [To NED.]  Then you’re not, I suppose?

NED.  No, it’s too warm.

ALICE HEMINGWAY.  Then I know the place for you.

NED.  Where?

ALICE HEMINGWAY.  Right here.  [Looks significantly in direction of LORETTA.]  Now is your opportunity to say what you ought to say.

[ALICE HEMINGWAY laughs teasingly and goes out to right.]

[NED hesitates, starts to follow her, looks at LORETTA, and stops.  He twists his moustache and continues to look at her meditatively.]

[LORETTA is unaware of his presence and goes on reading.  Finishes letter, folds it, replaces in envelope, looks up, and discovers NED.]

LORETTA.  [Startled.]  Oh!  I thought you were gone.

NED.  [Walking across to her.]  I thought I’d stay and finish our conversation.

LORETTA.  [Willingly, settling herself to listen.]  Yes, you were going to . . . [Drops eyes and ceases talking.]

NED.  [Taking her hand, tenderly.]  I little dreamed when I came down here visiting that I was to meet my destiny in—[Abruptly releases LORETTA’s hand.]

[MAID enters from left with tray.]

[LORETTA glances into tray and discovers that it is empty.  She looks inquiringly at MAID.]

MAID.  A gentleman to see you.  He hasn’t any card.  He said for me to tell you that it was Billy.

LORETTA.  [Starting, looking with dismay and appeal to NED.]  Oh! . . . Ned!

NED  [Gracefully and courteously, rising to his feet and preparing to go.]  If you’ll excuse me now, I’ll wait till afterward to tell you what I wanted.

LORETTA.  [In dismay.]  What shall I do?

NED.  [Pausing.]  Don’t you want to see him?  [LORETTA shakes her head.]  Then don’t.

LORETTA.  [Slowly.]  I can’t do that.  We are old friends.  We . . . were children together.  [To the MAID.]  Send him in.  [To NED, who has started to go out toward right.]  Don’t go, Ned.

[MAID makes exit to left.]

NED.  [Hesitating a moment.]  I’ll come back.

[NED makes exit to right.]

[LORETTA, left alone on stage, shows perturbation and dismay.]

[BILLY enters from left.  Stands in doorway a moment.  His shoes are dusty.  He looks overheated.  His eyes and face brighten at sight of LORETTA.]

BILLY.  [Stepping forward, ardently.]  Loretta!

LORETTA.  [Not exactly enthusiastic in her reception, going slowly to meet him.]  You never said you were coming.

[BILLY shows that he expects to kiss her, but she merely shakes his hand.]

BILLY.  [Looking down at his very dusty shoes.]  I walked from the station.

LORETTA.  If you had let me know, the carriage would have been sent for you.

BILLY.  [With expression of shrewdness.]  If I had let you know, you wouldn’t have let me come.

[BILLY looks around stage cautiously, then tries to kiss her.]

LORETTA.  [Refusing to be kissed. ]  Won’t you sit down?

BILLY.  [Coaxingly.]  Go on, just one.  [LORETTA shakes head and holds him off.]  Why not?  We’re engaged.

LORETTA.  [With decision. ]  We’re not.  You know we’re not.  You know I broke it off the day before I came away.  And . . . and . . . you’d better sit down.

[BILLY sits down on edge of chair.  LORETTA seats herself by table.  Billy, without rising, jerks his chair forward till they are facing each other, his knees touching hers.  He yearns toward her.  She moves back her chair slightly.]

BILLY.  [With supreme confidence.]  That’s what I came to see you for—to get engaged over again.

[BILLY hudges chair forward and tries to take her hand.]

[LORETTA hudges her chair back.]

BILLY.  [Drawing out large silver watch and looking at it.]  Now look here, Loretta, I haven’t any time to lose.  I’ve got to leave for that train in ten minutes.  And I want you to set the day.

LORETTA.  But we’re not engaged, Billy.  So there can’t be any setting of the day.

BILLY.  [With confidence.]  But we’re going to be.  [Suddenly breaking out.]  Oh, Loretta, if you only knew how I’ve suffered.  That first night I didn’t sleep a wink.  I haven’t slept much ever since.  [Hudges chair forward.]  I walk the floor all night.  [Solemnly.]  Loretta, I don’t eat enough to keep a canary bird alive.  Loretta . . . [Hudges chair forward.]

LORETTA.  [Hudging her chair back maternally.]  Billy, what you need is a tonic.  Have you seen Doctor Haskins?

BILLY.  [Looking at watch and evincing signs of haste.]  Loretta, when a girl kisses a man, it means she is going to marry him.

LORETTA.  I know it, Billy.  But . . . [She glances toward letters on table.]  Captain Kitt doesn’t want me to marry you.  He says . . . [She takes letter and begins to open it.]

BILLY.  Never mind what Captain Kitt says.  He wants you to stay and be company for your sister.  He doesn’t want you to marry me because he knows she wants to keep you.

LORETTA.  Daisy doesn’t want to keep me.  She wants nothing but my own happiness.  She says—[She takes second letter from table and begins to open it.]

BILLY.  Never mind what Daisy says—

LORETTA.  [Taking third letter from table and beginning to open it.]  And Martha says—

BILLY.  [Angrily.]  Darn Martha and the whole boiling of them!

LORETTA.  [Reprovingly.]  Oh, Billy!

BILLY.  [Defensively.]  Darn isn’t swearing, and you know it isn’t.

[There is an awkward pause.  Billy has lost the thread of the conversation and has vacant expression.]

BILLY.  [Suddenly recollecting.]  Never mind Captain Kitt, and Daisy, and Martha, and what they want.  The question is, what do you want?

LORETTA.  [Appealingly.]  Oh, Billy, I’m so unhappy.

BILLY.  [Ignoring the appeal and pressing home the point.]  The thing is, do you want to marry me?  [He looks at his watch.]  Just answer that.

LORETTA.  Aren’t you afraid you’ll miss that train?

BILLY.  Darn the train!

LORETTA.  [Reprovingly.]  Oh, Billy!

BILLY.  [Most irascibly.]  Darn isn’t swearing.  [Plaintively.]  That’s the way you always put me off.  I didn’t come all the way here for a train.  I came for you.  Now just answer me one thing.  Do you want to marry me?

LORETTA.  [Firmly.]  No, I don’t want to marry you.


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