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featurectomy
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= F =
feep/feep/
1. n. The soft electronic `bell' sound of a display terminal (except for a VT-52); a beep (in fact, the microcomputer world seems to preferbeep). 2. vi. To cause the display to make a feep sound. ASR-33s (the original TTYs) do not feep; they have mechanical bells that ring. Alternate forms:beep, `bleep', or just about anything suitably onomatopoeic. (Jeff MacNelly, in his comic strip "Shoe", uses the word `eep' for sounds made by computer terminals and video games; this is perhaps the closest written approximation yet.) The term `breedle' was sometimes heard at SAIL, where the terminal bleepers are not particularly soft (they sound more like the musical equivalent of a raspberry or Bronx cheer; for a close approximation, imagine the sound of a Star Trek communicator's beep lasting for five seconds). The `feeper' on a VT-52 has been compared to the sound of a '52 Chevy stripping its gears. See alsoding.
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feeper
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feeping creature
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feep
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feeper/fee'pr/ n.
The device in a terminal or workstation (usually a loudspeaker of some kind) that makes thefeepsound.
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feeping creature
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feeping creaturism
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feeper
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feeping creaturen.
[fromfeeping creaturism] An unnecessary feature; a bit ofchromethat, in the speaker's judgment, is the camel's nose for a whole horde of new features.
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feeping creaturism
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feetch feetch
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feeping creature
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feeping creaturism/fee'ping kree`ch*r-izm/ n.
A deliberate spoonerism forcreeping featurism, meant to imply that the system or program in question has become a misshapen creature of hacks. This term isn't really well defined, but it sounds so neat that most hackers have said or heard it. It is probably reinforced by an image of terminals prowling about in the dark making their customary noises.
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feetch feetch
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fence
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feeping creaturism
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feetch feetch/feech feech/ interj.
If someone tells you about some new improvement to a program, you might respond: "Feetch, feetch!" The meaning of this depends critically on vocal inflection. With enthusiasm, it means something like "Boy, that's great! What a great hack!" Grudgingly or with obvious doubt, it means "I don't know; it sounds like just one more unnecessary and complicated thing". With a tone of resignation, it means, "Well, I'd rather keep it simple, but I suppose it has to be done".
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fence
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fencepost error
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feetch feetch
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fencen. 1.
A sequence of one or more distinguished (out-of-band) characters (or other data items), used to delimit a piece of data intended to be treated as a unit (the computer-science literature calls this a `sentinel'). The NUL (ASCII 0000000) character that terminates strings in C is a fence. Hex FF is also (though slightly less frequently) used this way. Seezigamorph. 2. An extra data value inserted in an array or other data structure in order to allow some normal test on the array's contents also to function as a termination test. For example, a highly optimized routine for finding a value in an array might artificially place a copy of the value to be searched for after the last slot of the array, thus allowing the main search loop to search for the value without having to check at each pass whether the end of the array had been reached. 3. [among users of optimizing compilers] Any technique, usually exploiting knowledge about the compiler, that blocks certain optimizations. Used when explicit mechanisms are not available or are overkill. Typically a hack: "I call a dummy procedure there to force a flush of the optimizer's register-coloring info" can be expressed by the shorter "That's a fence procedure".
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fencepost error
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fiber-seeking backhoe
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fence
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fencepost errorn.
1. [common] A problem with the discrete equivalent of a boundary condition, often exhibited in programs by iterative loops. From the following problem: "If you build a fence 100 feet long with posts 10 feet apart, how many posts do you need?" (Either 9 or 11 is a better answer than the obvious 10.) For example, suppose you have a long list or array of items, and want to process items m through n; how many items are there? The obvious answer is n - m, but that is off by one; the right answer is n - m + 1. A program that used the `obvious' formula would have a fencepost error in it. See alsozerothandoff-by-one error, and note that not all off-by-one errors are fencepost errors. The game of Musical Chairs involves a catastrophic off-by-one error where N people try to sit in N - 1 chairs, but it's not a fencepost error. Fencepost errors come from counting things rather than the spaces between them, or vice versa, or by neglecting to consider whether one should count one or both ends of a row. 2. [rare] An error induced by unexpected regularities in input values, which can (for instance) completely thwart a theoretically efficient binary tree or hash table implementation. (The error here involves the difference between expected and worst case behaviors of an algorithm.)
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fiber-seeking backhoe
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FidoNet
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fencepost error
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fiber-seeking backhoe
[common among backbone ISP personnel] Any of a genus of large, disruptive machines which routinely cut critical backbone links, creating Internet outages andpacket over airproblems.
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FidoNet
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field circus
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FidoNetn.
A worldwide hobbyist network of personal computers which exchanges mail, discussion groups, and files. Founded in 1984 and originally consisting only of IBM PCs and compatibles, FidoNet now includes such diverse machines as Apple ][s, Ataris, Amigas, and Unix systems. For years FidoNet actually grew faster than Usenet, but the advent of cheap Internet access probably means its days are numbered. In early 1999 Fidonet has approximately 30,000 nodes, down from 38K in 1996.
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field circus
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field circusn.
[a derogatory pun on `field service'] The field service organization of any hardware manufacturer, but originallyDEC. There is an entire genre of jokes about field circus engineers:
Q: How can you recognize a field circus engineerwith a flat tire?A: He's changing one tire at a time to see which one is flat.Q: How can you recognize a field circus engineerwho is out of gas?A: He's changing one tire at a time to see which one is flat.Q: How can you tell it'syourfield circus engineer?A: The spare is flat, too.
[SeeEaster eggingfor additional insight on these jokes.]
There is also the `Field Circus Cheer' (from the oldplan filefor DEC on MIT-AI):
Maynard! Maynard!Don't mess with us!We're mean and we're tough!If you get us confusedWe'll screw up your stuff.
(DEC's service HQ, still extant under the Compaq regime, is located in Maynard, Massachusetts.)
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field servoid
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field servoid[play on `android'] /fee'ld ser'voyd/ n.
Representative of a field service organization (seefield circus). This has many of the implications ofdroid.
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Fight-o-net
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File Attach
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Fight-o-netn.
[FidoNet] Deliberate distortion ofFidoNet, often applied after a flurry offlamagein a particularecho, especially the SYSOP echo or Fidonews (see'Snooze).
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File Attach
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File Attach[FidoNet]
1. n. A file sent along with a mail message from one FidoNet to another. 2. vt. Sending someone a file by using the File Attach option in a FidoNet mailer.
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File Request
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File Attach
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File Request[FidoNet]
1. n. TheFidoNetequivalent ofFTP, in which one FidoNet system automatically dials another andsnarfs one or more files. Often abbreviated `FReq'; files are often announced as being "available for FReq" in the same way that files are announced as being "available for/by anonymous FTP" on the Internet. 2. vt. The act of getting a copy of a file by using the File Request option of the FidoNet mailer.
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filk
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file signaturen.
Amagic number, sense 3.
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filk
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filk/filk/ n.,v.
[from SF fandom, where a typo for `folk' was adopted as a new word] A popular or folk song with lyrics revised or completely new lyrics and/or music, intended for humorous effect when read, and/or to be sung late at night at SF conventions. There is a flourishing subgenre of these called `computer filks', written by hackers and often containing rather sophisticated technical humor. Seedouble buckyfor an example. Comparegrilf,hing,pr0n, andnewsfroup.
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film at 11
[MIT: in parody of TV newscasters] 1. Used in conversation to announce ordinary events, with a sarcastic implication that these events are earth-shattering. "ITScrashes; film at 11." "Bug found in scheduler; film at 11." 2. Also widely used outside MIT to indicate that additional information will be available at some future time,withoutthe implication of anything particularly ordinary about the referenced event. For example, "The mail file server died this morning; we found garbage all over the root directory. Film at 11." would indicate that a major failure had occurred but that the people working on it have no additional information about it as yet; use of the phrase in this way suggests gently that the problem is liable to be fixed more quickly if the people doing the fixing can spend time doing the fixing rather than responding to questions, the answers to which will appear on the normal "11:00 news", if people will just be patient.
The variant "MPEGs at 11" has recently been cited (MPEG is a digital-video format.)
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Finagle's Law
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filtern.
[very common; orig.Unix, now also inMS-DOS] A program that processes an input data stream into an output data stream in some well-defined way, and does no I/O to anywhere else except possibly on error conditions; one designed to be used as a stage in a `pipeline' (seeplumbing). Comparesponge.
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Finagle's Law
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fine
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Finagle's Lawn.
The generalized or `folk' version ofMurphy's Law, fully named "Finagle's Law of Dynamic Negatives" and usually rendered "Anything that can go wrong, will". One variant favored among hackers is "The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum" (but see alsoHanlon's Razor). The label `Finagle's Law' was popularized by SF author Larry Niven in several stories depicting a frontier culture of asteroid miners; this `Belter' culture professed a religion and/or running joke involving the worship of the dread god Finagle and his mad prophet Murphy. Some technical and scientific cultures (e.g., paleontologists) know it under the name `Sod's Law'; this usage may be more common in Great Britain.
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fine
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fineadj.
[WPI] Good, but not good enough to becuspy. The word `fine' is used elsewhere, of course, but without the implicit comparison to the higher level implied bycuspy.
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finger
[WAITS, via BSD Unix] 1. n. A program that displays information about a particular user or all users logged on the system, or a remote system. Typically shows full name, last login time, idle time, terminal line, and terminal location (where applicable). May also display aplan fileleft by the user (see alsoHacking X for Y). 2. vt. To apply finger to a username. 3. vt. By extension, to check a human's current state by any means. "Foodp?" "T!" "OK, finger Lisa and see if she's idle." 4. Any picture (composed of ASCII characters) depicting `the finger'. Originally a humorous component of one's plan file to deter the curious fingerer (sense 2), it has entered the arsenal of someflamers.
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finger troublen.
Mistyping, typos, or generalized keyboard incompetence (this is surprisingly common among hackers, given the amount of time they spend at keyboards). "I keep putting colons at the end of statements instead of semicolons", "Finger trouble again, eh?".
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finger-pointing syndrome
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finn
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finger-pointing syndromen.
All-too-frequent result of bugs, esp. in new or experimental configurations. The hardware vendor points a finger at the software. The software vendor points a finger at the hardware. All the poor users get is the finger.
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finn
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finnv.
[IRC] To pull rank on somebody based on the amount of time one has spent onIRC. The term derives from the fact that IRC was originally written in Finland in 1987. There may be some influence from the `Finn' character in William Gibson's seminal cyberpunk novel "Count Zero", who at one point says to another (much younger) character "I have a pair of shoes older than you are, so shut up!"
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firebottlen.obs.
A large, primitive, power-hungry active electrical device, similar in function to a FET but constructed out of glass, metal, and vacuum. Characterized by high cost, low density, low reliability, high-temperature operation, and high power dissipation. Sometimes mistakenly called a `tube' in the U.S. or a `valve' in England; another hackish term isglassfet.
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firefighting
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firefightingn.
1. What sysadmins have to do to correct sudden operational problems. An opposite of hacking. "Been hacking your new newsreader?" "No, a power glitch hosed the network and I spent the whole afternoon fighting fires." 2. The act of throwing lots of manpower and late nights at a project, esp. to get it out before deadline. See alsogang bang,Mongolian Hordes technique; however, the term `firefighting' connotes that the effort is going into chasing bugs rather than adding features.
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firehose syndrome
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firefighting
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