CHAPTER X.

Reflections on the preceding Memoirs.

In the life ofBrainerdwe may see, as Iapprehend,apprehend,the nature of true religion, and the manner of its operation,when exemplified in ahigh degreeand inpowerful exercise. Particularly it may be worthy to be observed:

1. How greatlyBrainerd’sreligiondifferedfrom that of some pretenders to the experience of aclear workof savingconversionwrought on their hearts; who, depending and living on that, settle in acold,careless, andcarnalframe of mind, and in a neglect of a thorough, earnest religion, in the stated practice of it. Although his convictions and conversion were in all respects exceedingly clear, and very remarkable; yet how far was he from acting as though he thought he hadgot through his work, when once he had obtained comfort, and satisfaction of his interest in Christ and a title to heaven! On the contrary, that work on his heart, by which he was brought to this, was with him evidently but thebeginning of his work; his first entering on the great business of religion, and the service of God; his first setting out in his race. His work was not finished, nor his race ended, till life was ended.

As his conversion was not the end ofhis work, or of the course of his diligence and strivings in religion, so neither was it the end of thework of the Spiritof God on his heart. On the contrary, it was the first dawning of the light, which thenceforth increased more and more; the beginning of his holy affections, his sorrow for sin, his love to God, his rejoicing in Jesus Christ, his longing after holiness. There are many, who, after the effect of novelty is over, soon find their situation and feelings very much the same as before their supposed conversion, with respect to any present thirstings for God, or ardent out-goings of their souls after divine objects. Now and then, indeed, theyhave a comfortable reflection on the past, and are somewhat affected with the remembrance, and so rest easy, thinking that it issafe; and they doubt not but they shall go to heaven when they die. Far otherwise was it withBrainerd. His experiences, instead of dying away, were evidently of an increasing nature. His first love, and other holy affections, even at the beginning, were very great; but, after the lapse of months and years, became much greater and more remarkable.

2. His religion apparently and greatlydifferedfrom that of many high pretenders to religion, who are frequently actuated byvehement emotionsof mind, and are carried on in a course ofsudden and strong impressions, and supposedhigh illuminations and immediate discoveries; and at the same time are persons of a virulent “zeal, not according to knowledge.” If we look through the whole series of his experience, from his conversion to his death, we shall find none of this kind—no imaginary sight of Christ hanging on the cross with his blood streaming from his wounds; or with a countenance smiling on him; or arms open to embrace him: no sight of the book of life opened, with his name written in it; no hearing God or Christ speaking to him; nor any sudden suggestions of words or sentences, either of Scripture or any other, as then immediately spoken or sent to him; no new revelations; no sudden strong suggestions of secret facts. Nor do I find any one instance in all the records which he has left of his own life, from beginning to end, of joy excited from a supposedimmediatewitness of the Spirit; or inward immediate suggestion, that his state was surely good. But the way in which he was satisfied of his own good estate, even to the entire abolishing offear, was by feeling within himself the lively actings of a holy temper and heavenly disposition, the vigorous exercises of that divine “love which casteth out fear.”

3.Brainerd’sreligion was notselfishandmercenary; his love to God was primarily and principally for the supreme excellency of hisown nature, and not built on a preconceived notion that God lovedhim, had received him into favor, and had done great things for him, or promised great things to him. His joy was joy inGod, and not inhimself. We see by his diary how, from time to time, through the course of his life, his soul was filled with ineffable sweetness and comfort. The affecting considerations and lively ideas ofGod’s infinite glory, his unchangeable blessedness, his sovereignty and universal dominion; together with the sweet exercises of love to God, giving himself up to him, abasing himself before him, denying himself for him, depending upon him, acting for his glory, diligently serving him; and the pleasing prospects or hopes he had of the future advancement of the kingdom of Christ, were the grounds of his strong and abiding consolation.

It appears plainly and abundantly all along, from his conversion to his death, that the sort of good which was the great object of the new relish and appetite given him in conversion, and thenceforward maintained and increased in his heart, wasHOLINESS, conformity to God, living to God, and glorifying him. This was what drew his heart; this was the centre of his soul; this was the ocean to which all the streams of his religious affections tended; this was the object which engaged his eager thirsting desires and earnest pursuits. He knew no true excellency or happiness but this; this was what he longed for most vehemently and constantly onearth; and this was with him thebeauty and blessedness ofheaven. This made him so much and so often long for that world of glory. It was to be perfectly holy, and perfectly exercised in the holy employments of heaven; and thus “to glorify God and enjoy him for ever.”

His religious illuminations, affections, and comfort, seemed, to a great degree, to be attended withevangelical humiliation; consisting in a sense of his own utter insufficiency, despicableness, and odiousness; with an answerable disposition and frame of heart. How deeply affected was he almost continually with his great defects in religion; with his vast distance from that spirituality and holy frame of mind that became him; with his ignorance, pride, deadness, unsteadiness, barrenness! He was not only affected with the remembrance of hisformersinfulness before his conversion, but with the sense of hispresentvileness and pollution. He was not only disposed to think meanly of himself asbefore God, and in comparison of him; butamong men, and as compared with them. He was apt to think other saints better than himself; yea, to look on himself as the meanest and least of saints; yea, very often, as the vilest and worst of mankind. And notwithstanding his great attainments inspiritual knowledge, yet we find there is scarcely any thing, with a sense of which he is more frequently affected and abased, than hisignorance.

How eminently did he appear to be of ameekandquietspirit, resembling the lamb-like, dove-like spirit of Jesus Christ! How full of love, meekness, quietness, forgiveness, and mercy! His love was not merely a fondness and zeal for a party, but an universal benevolence; very often exercised in the most sensible and ardent love to his greatest opposers and enemies.

Of howsoftandtendera spirit was he! How far were his experiences, hopes, and joys, from a tendency finally to stupify and harden him, to lessen convictions and tenderness of conscience, to cause him to be less affected with present and past sins, and less conscientious with respect to future sins! How far were they from making him more easy in neglect of duties which are troublesome and inconvenient, more slow and partial in complying with difficult commands, less apt to be alarmed at the appearance of his own defects and transgressions, more easily induced to a compliance with carnal appetites! On the contrary, how tender was his conscience! how apt was his heart to smite him! how easily and greatly was he alarmed at the appearance of moral evil! how great and constant was his jealousy over his own heart! how strict his care and watchfulness against sin! how deep and sensible were the wounds that sin made in his conscience! Those evils which are generally accounted small, were almost an insupportable burden to him; such as his inward deficiencies, his having no more love to God, finding within himself any slackness or dullness in religion, any unsteadiness or wandering frame of mind. How did the consideration of such things as these oppress and abase him, and fill him with inward shame and confusion! His love and hope, though they were such as cast out a servile fear of hell, yet were attended with, and abundantly cherished and promoted a reverential filial fear of God, a dread of sin and of God’s holy displeasure. His joy seemed truly to be a rejoicing with trembling. His assurance and comfort differed greatly from a false enthusiastic confidence and joy, in that it promoted and maintained mourning for sin. He did not, after he received comfort and full satisfactionof the safety of his state, forget his past sins, whether committed before or after his conversion; but the remembrance of them, from time to time, revived in his heart with renewed grief. That passage was evidently fulfilled in him, “That thou mayest remember, and be confounded, and never open thy mouth any more, because of thy shame; when I am pacified toward thee for all that thou hast done.” Ezek. 16:63.

His religious affections and joys were not like those of some, who have rapture and mighty emotions from time to time incompany; but have very little affection inretirementand secret places. Though he was of a very sociable temper, and loved the company of saints, and delighted very much in religious conversation, and in social worship; yet his warmest affections, and their greatest effects on his animal nature, and his sweetest joys, were in his closet devotions, and solitary transactions between God and his own soul: as is very observable through his whole course, from his conversion to his death. He delighted greatly in sacred retirements; and loved to get quite away from all the world, to converse with God alone, in secret duties.

Brainerd’sexperiences and comforts were very far from being like those of some persons, which are attended witha spiritual satiety, and which put an end to their religious desires and longings, at least to the edge and ardency of them; resting satisfied in their own attainments and comforts, as having obtained their chief end, which is to extinguish their fears of hell, and give them confidence of the favor of God. On the contrary, they were always attended with longings and thirstings after greater degrees of conformity to God! The greater and sweeter his comforts were, the more vehement were his desires after holiness.His longings were not so much after joyful discoveries of God’s love, and clear views of his own title to future advancement and eternal honors in heaven; as after more of present holiness, greater spirituality, an heart more engaged for God, to love, and exalt, and depend on him. He earnestly wished to serve God better, to do more for his glory, to do all that he did with more of a regard to Christ as his righteousness and strength, and to behold the enlargement and advancement of his kingdom on earth. His desires were not idle wishes, but such as were powerful and effectual, to animate him to the earnest, eager pursuit of these things, with the utmost diligence and unfainting labor and self-denial. Hiscomfortsnever put an end to his seeking after God, and striving to obtain his grace; but, on the contrary, greatly engaged him therein.

4. His religion did not consist inexperiencewithoutpractice. All his inward illuminations, affections, and comforts, seemed to have a direct tendency to practice, and to issue in it: and this, not merely a practicenegativelygood, free from gross acts of irreligion and immorality; but a practicepositivelyholy and Christian, in a serious, devout, humble, meek, merciful, charitable, and beneficent conversation; making the service of God and our Lord Jesus Christ the great business of life, to which he was devoted, and which he pursued with the greatest earnestness and diligence to the end of his days, through all trials. In him was to be seen the right way of being lively in religion. His liveliness in religion did not consist merely, or mainly, in his being lively with thetongue, but indeed; not in being forward in profession and outward show, and abundant in declaring his own experiences; but chiefly in being active and abundant in the labors andduties of religion; “not slothful in business, but fervent in spirit, serving the Lord, and serving his generation, according to the will of God.”

The foregoing account ofBrainerd’slife may convince us, that there is indeed such a thing as trueexperimental religion, arising from an immediate divine influence, supernaturally enlightening and convincing the mind, and powerfully impressing, quickening, sanctifying, and governing the heart.

If any insist thatBrainerd’sreligion was mereenthusiasm, the result of a heated imagination, I would ask, What were theFRUITSof his enthusiasm? In him we behold a great degree of honesty and simplicity; sincere and earnest desires and endeavors to know and do whatever is right, and to avoid every thing that is wrong; a high degree of love to God; delight in the perfections of his nature, placing the happiness of life in him, not only in contemplating him, but in being active in pleasing and serving him; a firm and undoubting belief in the Messiah, as the Savior of the world, the great Prophet of God, and King of the church, together with great love to him, delight and complacence in the way of salvation by him, and longing for the enlargement of his kingdom; earnest desires that God may be glorified and the Messiah’s kingdom advanced, whatever instruments are employed; uncommon resignation to the will of God, and that under vast trials; and great and universal benevolence to mankind, reaching all sorts of persons without distinction, manifested in sweetness of speech and behavior, kind treatment, mercy, liberality, and earnestly seeking the good of thesouls and bodies of men. All this we behold attended with extraordinary humility, meekness, forgiveness of injuries, and love to enemies. In him we see a modest, discreet, and decent deportment, among superiors, inferiors, and equals; a most diligent improvement of time; earnest care to lose no part of it; and great watchfulness against all sorts of sin, of heart, speech, and action. This example and these endeavors we see attended with most happy fruits, and blessed effects onothers, in humanizing, civilizing, and wonderfully reforming and transforming some of the most brutish savages; idle, immoral drunkards, murderers, gross idolaters, and wizards; bringing them to permanent sobriety, diligence, devotion, honesty, conscientiousness, and charity. The foregoing virtues and successful labors all end at last in a marvellous peace, immovable stability, calmness, and resignation, in the sensible approaches of death; with longing for the heavenly state; not only for the honors and circumstantial advantages of it, but above all, for themoral perfectionand holy and blessed employments of it. These things are seen in a person indisputably of good understanding and judgment. I therefore say, if all these things are the fruits ofenthusiasm, why should notenthusiasmbe thought a desirable and excellent thing? For what can true religion, what can the best philosophy, do more?

The preceding history serves to confirmthe doctrines of grace. For if it be allowed that there is truth, substance, or value in the main ofBrainerd’sreligion, it will undoubtedly follow, that those doctrines are divine;since it is evident that the whole of it, from beginning to end, accords with them. He was brought, by doctrines of this kind, to his awakening and deep concern about things of a spiritual and eternal nature; by these doctrines his convictions were maintained and carried on; and his conversion was evidently altogether agreeable to them. His conversion was no confirming and perfecting of moral principles and habits, by use, and practice, and industrious discipline, together with the concurring suggestions and conspiring aids of God’s Spirit; but entirely a supernatural work, at once turning him from darkness to marvellous light, and from the power of sin to the dominion of divine and holy principles. It was an effect, in no respect produced byhisstrength or labor, or obtained byhisvirtue; and not accomplished till he was first brought to a full conviction, that all his own virtue, strength, labors and endeavors, could never avail any thing toward producing or procuring this effect.

If everBrainerdwas truly turned from sin to God at all, or ever became truly religious, none can reasonably doubt but that his conversion was at the time when he supposed it to be. The change which he then met with, was evidently the greatest moral change that he ever experienced; and he was then apparently first brought to that kind of religion, that remarkable new habit and temper of mind, which he held all his life after. The narration shows it to be different, innatureandkind, from all of which he was ever the subject before. It was evidently wrought at once without fitting and preparing his mind, by gradually convincing it more and more of the same truths, and bringing it nearer and nearer to such a temper: it was soon after his mind had been remarkably full of blasphemy,and a vehement exercise of sensible enmity against God, and great opposition to those truths which he was now brought with his whole soul to embrace, and rest in as divine and glorious; truths, in the contemplation and improvement of which he placed his happiness. He himself, who was surely best able to judge, declares, that the dispositions and affections which were then given him, and thenceforward maintained in him, were, most sensibly and certainly, altogether different in theirnaturefrom all of which he was ever the subject before, or of which he ever had any conception.

Hence it is very evident thatBrainerd’sreligion was the effect of the doctrines of grace applied to his heart: and certainly it cannot be denied that the effect was good, unless we turn atheists or deists. I would ask whether there be any such thing, in reality, asChristian devotion? If there be, what is it? what is its nature? and what its just measure? Should it not be in a greatdegree? We read abundantly in Scripture of “lovingGod with all the heart, with all the soul, with all the mind, and with all the strength; ofdelightingin God, ofrejoicingin the Lord, rejoicing with joy unspeakable and full of glory; the soul magnifying the Lord, thirsting for God, hungering and thirsting after righteousness; the soul breaking for the longing it hath to God’s judgments, praying to God with groanings that cannot be uttered, mourning for sin with a broken heart and contrite spirit,” &c. How full are the Psalms, and other parts of Scripture, of such things as these! Now wherein do these things, as expressed by and appearing inBrainerd, either the things themselves, or their effects and fruits, differ from the Scripture representations? To these things he was broughtby that strange and wonderful transformation of the man, which he calledhis conversion. Does not this well agree with what is so often said in the Old Testament and the New, concerning “giving a new heart creating a right spirit, being renewed in the spirit of the mind, being sanctified throughout, becoming a new creature?”

Is there not much in the preceding memoirs ofBrainerdto teach, and excite to duty, us who are called to the work of theministry, and all who arecandidatesfor that great work? What a deep sense did he seem to have of the greatness and importance of that work, and with what weight did it lie on his mind! How sensible was he of his own insufficiency for this work; and how great was his dependence on God’s sufficiency! How solicitous that he might be fitted for it! and to this end, how much time did he spend in prayer and fasting, as well as reading and meditation;giving himself to these things! How did he dedicate his whole life, all his powers and talents to God; and forsake and renounce the world, with all its pleasing and ensnaring enjoyments, that he might be wholly at liberty to serve Christ in this work, and to “please him who had chosen him to be a soldier under the Captain of our salvation!” With what solicitude, solemnity and diligence did he devote himself to God our Savior, and seek his presence and blessing in secret, at the time of hisordination! and how did his whole heart appear to be constantly engaged, his whole time employed, and his whole strength spent in the business he then solemnly undertook, and to which he was publicly set apart! His history shows us the rightway tosuccessin the work of the ministry. He sought it, as a resolute soldier seeks victory in a siege or battle; or as a man who runs a race, seeks a great prize. Animated with love to Christ and the souls of men, how did he “labor always fervently,” not only in word and doctrine, in public and private, but inprayersday and night, “wrestling with God” in secret, and “travailing in birth,” with unutterable groans and agonies, “until Christ were formed” in the hearts of the people to whom he was sent! How did he thirst for a blessing on his ministry, and “watch for souls, as one that must give account!” How did he “go forth in the strength of the Lord God,” seeking and depending on a special influence of theSpiritto assist and succeed him! What was the happy fruit at last, though after long waiting, and many dark and discouraging appearances? Like a true son of Jacob, he persevered in wrestling, through all the darkness of the night, until the breaking of the day.

ToMissionariesin particular, may his example of laboring, praying, denying himself, and enduring hardness with unfainting resolution and patience, and his faithful, vigilant, and prudent conduct in many other respects, afford instruction.

The foregoing account ofBrainerd’slife may afford instruction toChristians in general; as it shows, in many respects, the right way ofpractisingreligion, in order to obtain theends, and receive thebenefitsof it; or how Christians should “run the race set before them,” if they would not “run in vain, or run as uncertainly,” but would honor God in the world, adorntheir profession, be serviceable to mankind, have the comforts of religion while they live, be free from disquieting doubts and dark apprehensions about the state of their souls, enjoy peace in the approaches of death, and “finish their course with joy.” In general, he much recommended, for this purpose, theredemption of time, greatdiligencein the business of the Christian life,watchfulness, &c. and he very remarkably exemplified these things.

Particularly, his example and success with regard to one duty, in an especial manner, may be of great use to both ministers and private Christians; I mean the duty ofsecret fasting. The reader has seen how muchBrainerdrecommends this duty, and how frequently he exercised himself in it; nor can it well have escaped observation, how much he was owned and blessed in it, and of what great benefit it evidently was to his soul. Among all the many days he spent in secret fasting and prayer, of which he gives an account in hisdiary, there is scarcely an instance of one which was not either attended or soon followed with apparent success, and a remarkable blessing, in special influences and consolations of God’s Spirit; and very often before the day was ended. But it must be observed, that when he set about this duty, he did it in good earnest; “stirring up himself to take hold of God,” and “continuing instant in prayer,” with much of the spirit of Jacob, who said to the angel, “I will not let thee go, except thou bless me.”

There is much in the preceding account to excite and encourage God’s people to earnest prayers andendeavors for theadvancement and enlargement of the kingdom of Christ in the world.Brainerdset us an excellent example in this respect. He sought the prosperity of Zion with all his might; and preferred Jerusalem above his chief joy. How did his soul long for it, and pant after it! how earnestly and often did he wrestle with God for it! and how far did he in these desires and prayers seem to be carried beyond all private and selfish views! being animated by a pure love to Christ, an earnest desire of his glory, and a disinterested affection to the souls of mankind.

The consideration of this, not only ought to be anincitementto the people of God, but may also be a justencouragementto them, to be much in seeking and praying for a general outpouring of the Spirit of God, and an extensive revival of religion. I confess, that God’s giving so much of a spirit of prayer for this mercy to so eminent a servant of his, and exciting him in so extraordinary a manner, and with such vehement thirstings of soul, to agonize in prayer for it, from time to time, through the course of his life, is one thing, among others, which gives me great hope that God has a design of accomplishing something very glorious for the interest of his church before long. One such instance as this, I conceive, gives more encouragement than the common, cold, formal prayers of thousands. AsBrainerd’sdesires and prayers for the coming of Christ’s kingdom were veryspecialandextraordinary; so I think we may reasonably hope, that the God who excited those desires and prayers, will answer them with somethingspecialandextraordinary. And in a particular manner do I think it worthy of notice for our encouragement, that he had his heart unusually drawn out in longings and prayers forthe flourishing of Christ’s kingdom on earth when he was in the approaches ofdeath; and that with his dying breath he breathed out his departing soul into the bosom of his Redeemer, in prayers and pantings after the glorious event; expiring in very great hope that it would soon begin to be fulfilled.

I would not conclude these reflections without a grateful acknowledgment of the mercy of God in the circumstances ofBrainerd’sdeath, and especially the gracious dispensation of Providence to me and my family, in so ordering that he, though the ordinary place of his abode was more than two hundred miles distant, should be brought to my house in his last sickness, and should die here. Thus we had opportunity for much acquaintance and conversation with him, to show him kindness in such circumstances, to see his dyingbehavior, to hear his dyingspeeches, to receive his dyingcounsels, and to have the benefit of his dyingprayers. May God in infinite mercy grant, that we may ever retain a proper remembrance of these things, and make a due improvement of the advantages we have had in these respects! The Lord grant also, that the foregoing account ofBrainerd’slife and death may be for the great spiritual benefit of all who shall read it, and prove a happy means of promoting the revival of true religion!Amen.

Perpetuated by the Donations of Messrs. George Douglass, Charles Starr and William A. Hallock, of New-York.

Transcriber’s NoteThe frequent dated quotations from Brainerd’s diaries usually employ opening double-quotation marks, which are only sometimes closed before continuing to the next dated entry. The missing opening marks are supplied unless the narrative is clearly not directly from the diaries.Punctuation (commas and full-stops) is restored where the text obviously has an appropriate space.Other errors deemed most likely to be the printer’s have been corrected, and are noted here. The references are to the page and line in the original. The following issues should be noted, along with the resolutions.6.2in bearing testimony against it[. /, l]iving and dyingReplaced.16.1or means I had in view[.]Added.19.5by any of my performances[,] Eph. 2:1, 8.Restored.20.21All this time the Spir[i]t> of GodInserted.24.8I was brought to see mysel[f]Added.32.13under date of Septem[p/b]er 14Replaced.38.19as I have had this evening[.]Added.38.29“Your charms may gratify aSENSUALmind[;]Restored.43.1spent most of the day in that duty[,]Restored.44.8and find him a “present help.[’/”]Replaced.47.5My thoughts were much in eternity[,]Restored.47.7Rode home to[ /-]night with Mr. BellamyRestored.48.22In the afternoon preached at Bethlehem[,]Restored.48.25rejoice on this account[,] to all eternityRestored.60.5March[.] 19.Removed.88.7with the Rev. Mr. S[a/e]rgeant.Replaced.88.29the hearts and consciences of the Indians[.]Restored.108.34who commanded them to live by hunting[,]Restored.118.1Dec. 7.[—]“Spent some time in prayer,Added.125.34sent out his disciples two and two[·/;]Presumably.134.20Lord’s day, June 23.—[“]PreachedInserted.137.3would ma[i]ntain and promote itInserted.150.26were filled with comfort at this season[.]Restored.151.23Guttummau[k/h]alummehReplaced.152.34'Have mercy upon me[\b\b/; ]haveRestored.157.26August[.] 16.Removed.160.10deep impressions of divine things[.]Restored.162.33with real comfort and sweetness[.]Restored.164.22Lord’s day, Sept. 1[.]—Inserted.167.2Sept. 13.[“]AfterInserted.181.5Nov. 4.—[“]DiscoursedInserted.186.34and obliged to interpret verbatim[.]Restored.209.22Jan. 1, 1746.—“SpentInserted.217.1Feb. 1[.]—“My schoolmasterInserted.221.34Feb. 21.—[“]PreachedInserted.222.31March[,] 1'.Removed.223.7Lord’s day, March 2.—[“]PreachedInserted.227.7O do let me die,[”/’] &c.Replaced.227.34O strive[,] striveInserted.236.13to the commands of thesecond table[’]Removed.240.28April 25[.]—“Set apartInserted.279.34to my latest moment[.]Restored.285.9this day[,] this blessed, glorious seasonInserted.305.7Feb. 28.—[“]Was visitedInserted.306.33But [‘]having obtained help from him,’ I yet live.Inserted.344.28as I apprehend[,]Added.

Transcriber’s Note

The frequent dated quotations from Brainerd’s diaries usually employ opening double-quotation marks, which are only sometimes closed before continuing to the next dated entry. The missing opening marks are supplied unless the narrative is clearly not directly from the diaries.

Punctuation (commas and full-stops) is restored where the text obviously has an appropriate space.

Other errors deemed most likely to be the printer’s have been corrected, and are noted here. The references are to the page and line in the original. The following issues should be noted, along with the resolutions.

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