During January to May of 1836, numerous donations were made of furniture, provisions, half-worn clothing, and money (varying from one hundred pounds to a halfpenny). Encouraged by theseunsolicitedofferings, Mr. Müller determined to open the Orphan House.
During January to May of 1836, numerous donations were made of furniture, provisions, half-worn clothing, and money (varying from one hundred pounds to a halfpenny). Encouraged by theseunsolicitedofferings, Mr. Müller determined to open the Orphan House.
April, 21. This day was set apart for prayer and thanksgiving concerning the Orphan House, as it is now opened. In the morning, several brethren prayed, and brother Craik spoke on the last verses of Psalm xx. In the afternoon, I addressed our day and Sunday school children, the orphans, and other children present. In the evening we had another prayer meeting. There are now seventeen children in the Orphan House.
May 6. I have now been for some years, and especially these last few months, more or less thinking and praying respecting publishing a short account of the Lord’s dealings with me. To-day I have at last settled to do so, and have begun to write.
May 16. For these several weeks our income has been little; and though I had prayed many times that the Lord would enable us to put by the taxes, yet the prayer remained unanswered. In the midst of it all, my comfort was, that the Lord would send help by the time it would be needed. One thing particularly has been a trial to us of late, far more than our own temporal circumstances, which is, that we have scarcely, in any measure, been able to relieve the distress among the poor saints. To-day, the Lord, at last, after I had many times prayed to him for these weeks past, answered my prayers, there being seven pounds twelve shillings and one farthing given to me as my part of the freewill offerings through the boxes,—two five-pound notes having been put in yesterday, one for brother Craik and one for me. Thus the Lord has again delivered us, and answered our prayers, and thatnotone single hour too late; for the taxes have not as yet been called for. May he fill my heart with gratitude for this fresh deliverance, and may he be pleased to enable me more and more to trust in him, and to wait patiently for his help?
AN UNEXPECTED OBSTACLE—IMPLICIT SUBMISSION—A SECOND ORPHAN HOUSE PROPOSED—AN ENCOURAGING TEXT—THE NEW ORPHAN HOUSE OPENED—COMPLETED ANSWER TO PRAYER—PROGRESS OF THE LORD’S WORK—THE OVERSIGHT OF THE FLOCK.
AN UNEXPECTED OBSTACLE—IMPLICIT SUBMISSION—A SECOND ORPHAN HOUSE PROPOSED—AN ENCOURAGING TEXT—THE NEW ORPHAN HOUSE OPENED—COMPLETED ANSWER TO PRAYER—PROGRESS OF THE LORD’S WORK—THE OVERSIGHT OF THE FLOCK.
Under date of May 18, 1836, Mr. M. says:—
Under date of May 18, 1836, Mr. M. says:—
In the foregoing pages, a statement has been given of the success with which the Lord has been pleased to crown the prayers of his servant respecting the establishment of an Orphan House in this city. The subject of my prayer was, that he would graciously provide a house, either as a loan or as a gift, or that some one might be led to pay the rent for one; further, that he would give me one thousand pounds for the object, and likewise suitable individuals to take care of the children. A day or two after, I was led to ask, in addition to the above, that he would put it into the hearts of his people to send me articles of furniture, and some clothes for the children. In answer to these petitions, many articles of furniture, clothing, and food were sent, a conditional offer of a house, as a gift, was made, individuals proposed themselves to take care of the children, and various sums of money were given, varying from one hundred pounds to a halfpenny.
It may be well to state that the above results have followed in answer to prayer, without any one having been asked by me for one single thing; from which I have refrained, not on account of want of confidence in the brethren, or because I doubted their love to the Lord, but that I might see the hand of God so much the more clearly.
So far as I remember, I brought even the most minute circumstances concerning the Orphan House before the Lord in my petitions, being conscious of my own weakness and ignorance. There was, however, one point I never had prayed about, namely, that the Lord would send children; for I naturally took it for granted that there would be plenty of applications. The appointed time came, and not even one application was made. This circumstance now led me to lie low before my God in prayer, and to examine my heart once more as to all the motives concerning it; and being able, as formerly, to say, that his glory was my chief aim,i. e.that it might be seen that it is not a vain thing to trust in the living God, and still continuing in prayer, I was at last brought to this state, that I could sayfrom my heartthat I should rejoice in God being glorified in this matter, though it wereby bringing the whole to nothing. But as still, after all, it seemed to me more tending to the glory of God to establish and prosper the Orphan House, I could then ask him heartily to send applications. I enjoyed now a peaceful state of heart concerning the subject, and was also more assured than ever that God would establish it.The very next daythe first application was made, and within a short time forty-three applied. I rented the house No. 6, Wilson Street, as being, on account of its cheapness and largeness, very suitable.
I have mentioned that we intended to take in the children from the seventh to the twelfth year. But after six applications had been made for children between four andsix years of age, it became a subject of solemn and prayerful consideration, whether, as long as there were vacancies, such children should not be received, though so young. I came at last to the conclusion to take in the little girls under seven years of age, for whom application had been made. Further, it has been repeatedly brought before me, how desirable it would be to establish also, in this city, an Orphan House formalechildren, and there were even articles sent forlittle orphan boys. Partly, then, on account of these reasons; and partly because the Institution already opened was quite filled in a few days; and partly because the Lord has done hitherto far above what I could have expected; I have at last, after repeated prayer, come to the conclusion, in the name of the Lord, and in dependence upon him alone for support, to propose the establishment of an Infant Orphan House.
June 3. From May 16 up to this day I have been confined to the house, and a part of the time to my bed, on account of a local inflammation, which keeps me from walking. Almost every day during this time I have been able to continue writing a narrative of the Lord’s dealings with me, which had been again laid aside after May 7, on account of a number of pressing engagements. It is very remarkable that the greatest objection against writing it for the press was want of time. Now, through this affliction, which leaves my mind free, and gives me time, on account of confinement to the house, I have been able to write about a hundred quarto pages.
June 14. This morning brother C——r and I prayed unitedly, chiefly about the schools and the circulation of the Scriptures. Besides asking for blessings upon the work, we have also asked the Lord for the means which are needed; for on July 1, seventeen pounds ten shillings will be due for the rent of school-rooms, and, besides this, we want at least forty pounds more to go on with the circulation of the Scriptures, to pay the salaries of the masters, etc. Towards all this we have only about seven pounds. I also prayed for the remainder of the thousand pounds for the Orphan House.
June 21. This evening brother C——r and I found that the Lord has not only been pleased to send us, through the offerings which have come in during the last week, in answer to our prayers, the seventeen pounds ten shillings which will be due for the rent of two school-rooms on July 1, but that we have five pounds more than is needed. Thus the Lord once more has answered our prayers.
July 28. For some weeks past we have not been able to pay the salary of the masters and governessesa month in advance, but have been obliged to pay itweekly. Brother C——r and I have lately prayed repeatedly together respecting the funds, but we were now brought so low, that we should not have been able to pay even thisweeklysalary of the teachers, had not the Lord most remarkably helped us again to-day. For, besides one pound, which was given to us, this evening a brother gave eight pounds, which sum had been made up by a number of his workmenpaying weekly one penny each, of their own accord, towards our funds. The money had been collecting for many months, and, in this our necessity, it had been put into the heart of this brother to bring it.
July 29. This evening, from six to half past nine, we had a meeting for inquirers. There came twelve fresh cases before us.
October 1. To-day, in dependence upon the Lord alone for means, we engaged a brother as a master for a sixth day school. On account of the many deliverances which we have had of late, we have not hesitated to enlarge the field, as another boys’ school was greatly needed.
October 5. This evening twenty-five pounds was given to me for the Scriptural Knowledge Institution. Thus theLord has already given the means of defraying the expenses of the new boys’ school for some months to come.
October 19. To-day, after having many times prayed respecting the matter, I have at last engaged a sister as matron for the Infant Orphan House, never having been able, up to this day, to meet with an individual who seemed suitable, though there has been money enough in hand, for some time past, for commencing this work, and there have been applications made for several infant orphans.
October 25. To-day we obtained, without any trouble, through the kind hand of God, very suitable premises for the Infant Orphan House.
November 5. There was given by a brother one hundred pounds, fifty pounds of which was previously promised, to insure the rent for premises. It is a remarkable fact, concerning this donation, that I had, in December of last year, repeatedly asked the Lord to incline the heart of this brother to give this hundred pounds, and I made a memorandum of this prayer in my journal of December 12, 1835. On January 25, 1836, fifty pounds was promised by him, and on November 5, fifty pounds besides that sum was given; but it was not till some days after, that I remembered that the very sum for which I had asked the Lord had been given. When it came to my mind that this prayer had been noted down in my journal, and I showed it to the donor, we rejoiced together;he, to have been the instrument in giving, andIto have had the request granted.
November 30. On account of many pressing engagements, I had not been led, for some time past, to pray respecting the funds. Butbeing in great need, I was led, yesterday morning, earnestly to ask the Lord; and in answer to this petition a brother gave me, last evening, ten pounds. He had had it in his heart, for several months past, to give this sum, but had been hitherto kept from it,not having the means. Just now, in this our great necessity, the Lord furnished him with the means, and we were helped in this way. In addition to this ten pounds, I received last evening a letter with five pounds, from a sister whom I never saw, and who has been several times used by God as an instrument to supply our wants. She writes thus: “It has been so much on my mind lately to send you some money, that I feel as if there must be some need, which the Lord purposes to honor me by making me the instrument of supplying. I therefore enclose you five pounds, all I have in the house at this moment.”
December 9. One pound, with Mark ix. 36-7: “And taking a little child, he set him in the midst of them,” etc., a most encouraging passage for this work, the force of which I had never felt before.
December 15. This day was set apart for prayer and thanksgiving respecting the Infant Orphan House, which was opened on November 28. In the morning we had a prayer meeting. In the afternoon, besides prayer and thanksgiving, I addressed the children of our day schools and the orphans, about 350, on Ecclesiastes xii. 1.
In addition to the items mentioned above, donations were received during the year, of money, food, clothes, books, boxes, coal-hods, ornaments (to be sold), etc.; also, the offer of gratuitous medical attendance, and medicine. Up to the close of 1836, seven hundred and seventy pounds and ninepence halfpenny had been given, and forty pounds promised.
In addition to the items mentioned above, donations were received during the year, of money, food, clothes, books, boxes, coal-hods, ornaments (to be sold), etc.; also, the offer of gratuitous medical attendance, and medicine. Up to the close of 1836, seven hundred and seventy pounds and ninepence halfpenny had been given, and forty pounds promised.
December 31. We had this evening a prayer meeting to praise the Lord for his goodness during the past year, and to ask him for a continuance of his favors.
During the past year there have been received into the church, 52; and the Lord has been pleased to give me, as it regards my temporal supplies, £232 11s. 9d.
January 2, 1837. This evening the two churches had again an especial prayer meeting.
January 5. To-day a sister called and told me about the conversion of her father, who, in his eightieth year, after having for many years lived openly in sin, is at last brought to the knowledge of the Lord. This sister had long prayed for the conversion of her father, and at last, though only after twenty years, the Lord gave her the desire of her heart.
May 18. There are now sixty-four children in the two Orphan Houses, and two more are expected, which will fill the two houses.
May 28. The narrative of some of the Lord’s dealings with me is now near being published, which has led me again most earnestly this day week, and repeatedly since, to ask the Lord that he would be pleased to give me what is wanting of the one thousand pounds, for which sum I have asked him on behalf of the orphans; for though, in my own mind, the thing is as good as done, so much so that I have repeatedly been able to thank God that he will surely give me every shilling of that sum, yet to others this would not be enough. As the whole matter, then, about the Orphan House had been commenced for the glory of God, that in this way before the world and the church there might be another visible proof that the Lord delights in answering prayer; and as there was yet a part of the thousand pounds wanting; andas I earnestly desired the book might not leave the pressbefore every shilling of that sum had been given in answer to prayer,without one single individual having been asked by me for anything, that thus I might have the sweet privilege of bearing my testimony for God in this book;—for thesereasons, I say, I have given myself earnestly to prayer about this matter since May 21. On May 22 came in seven pounds and ten shillings, and on May 23, three pounds. On May 24, a lady, whom I never saw before, called on me, and gave me forty pounds. This circumstance has greatly encouraged me; for the Lord showed me thereby, afresh, his willingness to continue to send uslarge sums, and that they can even come from individuals whom we have never seen before. On May 25, three pounds and six shillings were sent, from two unexpected quarters. On May 27 was sent, anonymously, a parcel of worn clothes, from London, and a sovereign. To-day (May 28) I received again four pounds three shillings and sixpence; and also a parcel was sent from a considerable distance, containing seven pairs of socks, and the following trinkets, to be sold for the support of the orphans: one gold pin with an Irish pearl, fifteen Irish pearls, two pins, two brooches, two lockets, one seal, two studs, eleven rings, one chain, and one bracelet, all of gold.
June 15. To-day I gave myself once more earnestly to prayer respecting the remainder of the thousand pounds. This evening five pounds were given, so that now the whole sum is made up. During eighteen months and ten days this petition has been brought before God almost daily. From the moment I asked till the Lord granted it fully, I had never been allowed to doubt that he would give every shilling of that sum. Often have I praised him beforehand, in the assurance that he would grant my request. The thing after which we have especially to seek in prayer is, that we believe that we receive, according to Mark xi. 24: “What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them.”
As the Lord has so greatly condescended to listen to my prayers, and as I consider it one of the particular talents which he has intrusted to me to exercise faith upon hispromises, as it regards my own temporal wants and those of others; and as an Orphan House forboysabove seven years of age seems greatly needed in this city; and as also without it we know not how to provide for the littleboysin the Infant Orphan House, when they are above seven years of age, I purpose to establish an Orphan House for about forty boys above seven years of age.
July 12. The same friend who gave me on May 24, 1837, forty pounds for the orphans, and whom, up to that time, I had never seen, gave four hundred and sixty pounds more, being altogether five hundred pounds.
It is now three years and four months since brother Craik and I began, in dependence upon the Lord for funds, to seek to help the spread of the gospel through the instrumentality of schools, the circulation of the Holy Scriptures, and by aiding missionary exertions. Since then there have been circulated, through our instrumentality, 4,030 copies of the Scriptures; four day schools, for poor children, have beenestablishedby us; 1,119 children have been instructed in the six day schools, and 353 children are now in those six day schools. Besides this, a Sunday school and an adult school have been supplied with all they needed, and missionary exertions in the East Indies, in Upper Canada, and on the continent of Europe, have been aided. In addition to this, the word of God has been preached from house to house among the poor, in connection with the Scriptural Knowledge Institution, by brother C——r, within the last two years.
On the 15th of August, 1837, the preceding portion of this narrative was published.
On the 15th of August, 1837, the preceding portion of this narrative was published.
Aug. 17. To-day two more children were received into the Infant Orphan House, which makes up our full number, sixty-six in the Girls’ and Infant Orphan Houses.
September 2. I have been looking about for a house for the orphan boys, these last three days. Everything else has been provided. The Lord has given suitable individuals to take care of the children, money, etc. In his own time he will give a house also.
September 19. It was to-day particularly impressed upon my heart that I ought to seek for more retirement, though the work shouldapparentlysuffer ever so much; and that arrangements should be made whereby I may be able to visit the brethren more, as anunvisitedchurch will sooner or later become anunhealthy church. Pastors, as fellow-laborers, are greatly needed among us.
September 28. I have for a long time been too much outwardly engaged. Yesterday morning I spent about three hours in the vestry of Gideon, to be able to have more time for retirement. I meant to do the same in the afternoon, but before I could leave the house I was called on, and thus one person after the other came, till I had to go out. Thus it has been again to-day.
October 16. For a long time past brother Craik and I have felt the importance of more pastoral visiting, and it has beenone of our greatest trialsthat we have been unable to give more time to it. This evening we had purposely a meeting of the two churches, at which brother Craik and I, and a brother from Devonshire, spoke on: I. The importance of pastoral visiting. II. The particular obstacles which hindered us in attending to it. III. The question whether there was any way of removing some of the obstacles.
I. As to the importance of pastoral visiting, the following points were mentioned: 1. Watching over the saints, by means of visiting them, to prevent coldness, or to recover them from backsliding. 2. To counsel and advise them in family affairs, in their business, and in spiritual matters. 3. To keep up that loving and familiar intercourse which is so desirable between saints and those who have the oversight of them. These visits should be, if possible, frequent; but in our case there have been several obstacles in the way.
II. The particular obstacles in our case are: 1. The largeness of the number who are in communion with us. One hundred would be quite as many as we have strength to visit regularly, and as often as would be desirable; but there are nearly four hundred in fellowship with us. 2. The distance of the houses of the saints from our own dwellings, as many live more than two miles off. 3. The Lord’s blessing upon our labors. Not one year has passed away, since we have been in Bristol, without more than fifty having been added to our number, each of whom, in general, needed several times to be conversed with before being admitted into fellowship. 4. That brother Craik and I have each of us the care of two churches. At the first sight it appears as if the work is thus divided, but the double number of meetings, etc., nearly double the work. 5. The mere ruling, and taking care, in general, of a large body of believers, irrespective of the other work, takes much more time, and requires much more strength, than the taking care of a small body of believers, as we, by grace, desire not to allow known sin among us. 6. The position which we have in the church at large brings many brethren to us who travel through Bristol, who call on us, or lodge with us, and to whom, according to the Lord’s will, we have to give some time. 7. In my own case, an extensive needful correspondence. 8. The weakness of body on the part of both of us. When the preaching is done,—when strangers who lodge with us are gone,—when the calls at our house are over,—when the needful letters, however briefly, are written,—when the necessary church business is settled,—our minds are often so worn out that we are glad to be quiet. 9. Butsuppose we have bodily strength remaining, after the above things have been attended to, yet the frame of mind is not always so as that one could visit. After having been particularly tried by church matters, which in so large a body does not rarely occur, or being cast down in one’s own soul, one may be fit for the closet, but not for visiting the saints. 10. Lastly, in my own case, no small part of my time is taken up by attending to the affairs of the Orphan Houses, schools, the circulation of the Scriptures, the aiding missionary efforts, and other work connected with the Scriptural Knowledge Institution.
III. What is to be done under these circumstances? 1. In the days of the apostles there would have been more brethren to take the oversight of so large a body as we are. The Lord has not laid upon us a burden which is too heavy for us; he is not a hard master. It is evident that he does not mean useven to attempt to visit all the saintsas much as is evidently needful, and much less as frequently as it would be desirable. We mention this, to prevent uncomfortable feelings on the part of the dear saints under our pastoral care, who find themselves not as much visited as they used to be when we came to Bristol, when the number of them was not seventy, and now it is about four hundred, and when in many other respects the work in our hands was not half so much as it is now, and when we had much more bodily strength. 2. It is therefore evident that there are other pastors needed; not nominal pastors, but such as the Lord has called, to whom he has given a pastor’s heart and pastoral gifts. 3. Such may be raised up by the Lord from our own number, or the Lord may send them from elsewhere. 4. But in the mean time we should at least see whether there are not helpers among us. 5. As to the work itself, in order that time may be saved, it appears desirable that the two churches, Bethesda and Gideon, should be united into one,that the breaking of bread should be alternately, and that the number of weekly meetings should be reduced.
October 21. To-day the Lord has given me a house for the Orphan Boys, in the same street in which the other two Orphan Houses are.
Mr. Müller’s health having suffered from his cares, money was sent him from unexpected sources, to be used in travelling and recreation.
Mr. Müller’s health having suffered from his cares, money was sent him from unexpected sources, to be used in travelling and recreation.
1. There are now eighty-one children in the three Orphan Houses, and nine brethren and sisters, who have the care of them. Ninety, therefore, daily sit down to table. Lord, look on the necessities of thy servant!
2. The schools require as much help as before; nay, more, particularly the Sunday school, in which there are at present about 320 children, and in the day schools about 350. Lord, thy servant is a poor man; but he has trusted in thee, and made his boast in thee, before the sons of men; therefore let him not be confounded! Let it not be said all this was enthusiasm, and therefore it is come to naught!
3. My temporal supplies have been £307 2s. 6½d.
THE MINISTRY OF SICKNESS—PEACE OF MIND—JESUS A PRESENT HELP—DEEP POVERTY—PLEADING WITH GOD—UNITED PRAYER.
THE MINISTRY OF SICKNESS—PEACE OF MIND—JESUS A PRESENT HELP—DEEP POVERTY—PLEADING WITH GOD—UNITED PRAYER.
January 6, 1838. I feel little better in my head, though my general health seems improved; but my kind physician says I am much better, and advises me now change of air. This evening a sister, who resides about fifty miles from hence, and who is quite unacquainted with the medical advice given to me this morning, sent me fifteen pounds for the express purpose of change of air; and wrote that she felt assured, from having been similarly afflicted, that nothing would do me so much good, humanly speaking, as quiet and change of air.
January 7. This is the ninth Lord’s day that I have been kept from ministering in the word. My affliction is connected with a great tendency to irritability of temper; yea, with some satanic feeling, foreign to me even naturally.
January 10. To-day I went with my family to Trowbridge. Jan. 14. Lord’s day. I have spent several hours in prayer to-day, and read on my knees, and prayed for two hours over Psalm lxiii. God has blessed my soul much to-day. My soul is now brought into that state that Idelight myself in the will of God, as it regards my health. Yea, I can now say,from my heart, I would not have this disease removed till God, by its means, has bestowed the blessing for which it was sent.
January 15. I have had, since yesterday afternoon, less suffering in my head than for the last eight days; though it is even now far from being well. I have still an inward assurance, on account of the spiritual blessings which the Lord has granted to me, that through this affliction he is only purifying me for his blessed service, and that I shall be soon restored to the work. To-day, also, God has continued to me fervency of spirit, which I have now enjoyed for three days following. He has to-day, also, drawn out my soul into much real communion with himself, and into holy desires to be more conformed to his dear Son. When God gives a spirit of prayer, how easy then to pray! Nevertheless, it was given to me in the use of the means, as I fell on my knees last Saturday, to read his word with meditation, and to turn it into prayer. To-day I spent about three hours in prayer over Psalms lxiv. and lxv. In reference to that precious word, “O thou that hearest prayer,” (Ps. lxv. 2,) I asked the Lord the following petitions, and entreated him to record them in heaven, and to answer them.
1. That he would give me grace to glorify him by a submissive and patient spirit under my affliction.
2. That as I was enabled now, andonly now from my heart, to praise God for this affliction, he would not remove his hand from me until he had qualified me for his work more than I have been hitherto.
3. That he would be pleased to grant that the work of conversion, through the instrumentality of brother Craik and myself, might not cease, but go on as much now as when we first came to Bristol, yea, more abundantly than even then.
4. That he would be pleased to give more real spiritual prosperity to the church under our care than ever we have as yet enjoyed.
5. Having praised him for the sale of so many copies of my Narrative in so short a time, I entreated him to cause every copy to be disposed of.
6. I asked him to continue to let his rich blessing rest upon this little work, and more abundantly, so that many may be converted through it, and many of the children of God truly benefited by it, and that thus I might now be speaking through it, though laid aside from active service.
7. I asked him for his blessing, in the way of conversion, to rest upon the orphans, and upon the Sunday and day-school children under our care.
8. I asked him for means to carry on these Institutions, and to enlarge them.
These are some of the petitions which I have asked of my God this evening, in connection with this his own word. I believehe has heard me. I believe he will make it manifest in his own good time thathe has heardme, and I have recorded these my petitions, this 15th day of January, 1838, that when God has answered them he may get, through this, glory to his name. [Whilst writing this second part, I add to the praise of the Lord, and for the encouragement of the children of God, that petitions 4, 5, 6, 7, and 8, have beenfullyanswered, and the other petitions, likewise, in part.]
January 16. Tuesday. A blessed day. How very good is the Lord! Fervency of spirit, through his grace, is continued to me; though this morning, but for the help of God, I should have lost it again. The weather has been very cold for several days; but to-day I suffered much, either because it was colder than before, or because I felt it more, owing to the weakness of my body, and having taken so much medicine. I arose from my knees andstirred the fire, but I still remained very cold. I was a little irritated by this. I moved to another part of the room, but felt the cold still more. At last, having prayed for some time, I was obliged to rise up and take a walk to promote circulation. I now entreated the Lord on my walk that this circumstance might not be permitted to rob me of the precious communion which I have had with him the last three days; for this was the object at which Satan aimed. I confessed also my sin of irritability on account of the cold, and sought to have my conscience cleansed through the blood of Jesus. He had mercy upon me, my peace was restored, and when I returned I sought the Lord again in prayer, and had uninterrupted communion with him.
His health remaining feeble, Mr. M. left England on April 6, for Germany, and returned to Bristol May 7. He continues his narrative:—
His health remaining feeble, Mr. M. left England on April 6, for Germany, and returned to Bristol May 7. He continues his narrative:—
May 8. This evening I went to the prayer meeting at Gideon. I read Psalm ciii., and was able to thank the Lord publicly for my late affliction. This is the first time that I have taken any part in the public meetings of the brethren since November 6, 1837.
July 12. The funds, which were this day twelvemonth about seven hundred and eighty pounds, are now reduced to about twenty pounds; but, thanks be to the Lord, my faith is as strong, or stronger, than it was when we had the larger sum in hand; nor has he at any time, from the commencement of the work, allowed me to distrust him. Nevertheless, as our Lord will be inquired of, and as real faith is manifested as such by leading to prayer, I gave myself to prayer with brother T——, of the Boys’ Orphan House, who had called on me, and who, besides my wife and brother Craik, is the only individual to whom I speakabout the state of the funds. While we were praying, an orphan child from Frome was brought, and some believers at Frome, having collected among them five pounds, sent this money with the child. Thus we received the first answer at a time of need.We have given notice for seven children to come in, and purpose to give notice for five more, though our funds are so low, hoping that God will look on our necessities.
July 17 and 18. These two days we have had two especial prayer meetings, from six to nine in the evening, to commend publicly to the Lord the Boys’ Orphan House. Our funds are how very low. There are about twenty pounds in hand, and in a few days thirty pounds, at least, will be needed; but Ipurposelyavoided saying anything about our present necessities, and spoke only to the praise of God, about the abundance with which our gracious Father, “the Father of the fatherless,” has hitherto supplied us. This was done in order that the hand of God, in sending help, may be so much the more clearly seen.
July 22. This evening I was walking in our little garden, meditating on Heb. xiii. 8, “Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and to-day, and forever.” Whilst meditating on his unchangeable love, power, wisdom, etc., and turning all, as I went on, into prayer respecting myself; and whilst applying likewise his unchangeable love, and power, and wisdom, etc., both to my present spiritual and temporal circumstances,—all at once the present need of the Orphan Houses was brought to my mind. Immediately I was led to say to myself, Jesus in his love and power has hitherto supplied me with what I have needed for the orphans, and in the same unchangeable love and power he will provide me with what I may need for the future. A flow of joy came into my soul whilst realizing thus the unchangeableness of our adorable Lord. About one minuteafter, a letter was brought me, enclosing a bill for twenty pounds.
August 18. I have not one penny in hand for the orphans. In a day or two again many pounds will be needed. My eyes are up to the Lord.Evening.Before this day is over, I have received from a sister five pounds. She had some time since put away her trinkets, to be sold for the benefit of the orphans. This morning, whilst in prayer, it came to her mind, “I have this five pounds, and owe no man anything, therefore it would be better to give this money at once, as it may be some time before I can dispose of the trinkets.” She therefore brought it, little knowing that there was not a penny in hand.
August 29. To-day sixteen believers were baptized. Among those who were baptized was an aged brother of above eighty-four years, and one above seventy. For the latter, his believing wife had prayed thirty-eight years, and at last the Lord answered her prayers in his conversion.
August 31. I have been waiting on the Lord for means, as the matron’s books from the Girls’ Orphan House have been brought, and there is no money in hand to advance for housekeeping. But, as yet, the Lord has not been pleased to send help. As the matron called to-day for money, one of the laborers gave two pounds of his own, for the present necessities.
September 1. The Lord in his wisdom and love has not yet sent help. Whence it is to come, need not be my care. ButI believeGod will, in due time, send help. His hour is not yet come. As there was money needed in the Boys’ Orphan House also, the same brother just alluded to gave two pounds for that also. Thus we were delivered at this time likewise. But now his means are gone. This is the most trying hour that as yet I have had in the work, as it regards means; but I know that I shall yet praise the Lord for his help.
September 5. Our hour of trial continues still. The Lord mercifully has given enough to supply our daily necessities; but he givesby the daynow, and almostby the hour, as we need it. Nothing came in yesterday. I have besought the Lord again and again, both yesterday and to-day. It is as if the Lord said: “Mine hour is not yet come.” But I have faith in God. I believe that he surely will send help, though I know not whence it is to come. Many pounds are needed within a few days, and there is not a penny in hand. This morning two pounds was given for the present necessities, by one of the laborers in the work.Evening.This very day the Lord sent again some help to encourage me to continue to wait on him, and to trust in him. As I was praying this afternoon respecting the matter, I felt fully assured that the Lord would send help, and praised him beforehand for his help, and asked him to encourage our hearts through it. I have been also led, yesterday and to-day, to ask the Lord especially that he would not allow my faith to fail. A few minutes after I had prayed, brother T—— came and brought four pounds one shilling and fivepence, which had come in in several small donations. He told me, at the same time, that to-morrow the books will be brought from the Infant Orphan House, when money must be advanced for housekeeping. I thought for a moment it might be well to keep three pounds of this money for that purpose. But it occurred to me immediately, “Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.” The Lord can provide by to-morrow much more than I need; and I therefore sent three pounds to one of the sisters whose quarterly salary was due, and the remaining one pound one shilling and fivepence to the Boys’ Orphan House for housekeeping. Thus I am still penniless. My hope is in God; he will provide.
September 6. This morning the books were brought from the Infant Orphan House, and the matron sent toask when she should fetch them, implying when they would have been looked over, and when money would be advanced for housekeeping. I said, “to-morrow,” though I had not a single penny in hand. About an hour after, brother T—— sent me a note, to say that he had received one pound this morning, and that last evening a brother had sent twenty-nine pounds of salt, forty-four dozen of onions, and twenty-six pounds of groats.[16]
September 7. The time had come that I had to send money to the Infant Orphan House, but the Lord had not sent any more. I gave, therefore, the pound which had come in yesterday, and two shillings and twopence which had been put into the box in my house, trusting to the good Lord to send in more.
September 8. It has not pleased my gracious Lord to send me help as yet. Yesterday and to-day I have been pleading with God eleven arguments why he would be graciously pleased to send help. The arguments which I plead with God are:—
1. That I set about the work for the glory of God,i. e.that there might be a visible proof, by God supplying,in answer to prayer only, the necessities of the orphans, that he is thelivingGod, and most willing, even inourday, to answer prayer; and that, therefore, he would be pleased to send supplies.
2. That God is the “Father of the fatherless,” and that he, therefore, as their father, would be pleased to provide. Psalm lxviii. 5.
3. That I have received the children in the name of Jesus, and that therefore he, in these children, has been received, and is fed, and is clothed; and that therefore he would be pleased to consider this. Mark ix. 36, 37.
4. That the faith of many of the children of God hasbeen strengthened by this work hitherto, and that, if God were to withhold the means for the future, those who are weak in faith would be staggered; whilst, by a continuance of means, their faith might still further be strengthened.
5. That many enemies would laugh, were the Lord to withhold supplies, and say, Did we not foretell that this enthusiasm would come to nothing?
6. That many of the children of God, who are uninstructed, or in a carnal state, would feel themselvesjustifiedto continue their alliance with the world in the work of God, and to go on as heretofore in their unscriptural proceedings respecting similar institutions, so far as the obtaining of means is concerned, if he were not to help me.
7. That the Lord would remember that I am his child, and that he would graciously pity me, and remember thatIcannot provide for these children, and that therefore he would not allow this burden to lie upon me long without sending help.
8. That he would remember likewise my fellow-laborers in the work, who trust in him, but who would be tried were he to withhold supplies.
9. That he would remember that I should have to dismiss the children from under our scriptural instruction to their former companions.
10. That he would show that those were mistaken who said, that,at the first, supplies might be expected, while the thing was new, but not afterwards.
11. That I should not know, were he to withhold means, what construction I should put upon all the many most remarkable answers to prayer which he had given me heretofore in connection with this work, and which most fully have shown to me that it is of God.
In some small measure I now understand, experimentally, the meaning of that word, “how long,” which so frequently occurs in the prayers of the Psalms. But evennow, by the grace of God, my eyes are up unto him only, and I believe that he will send help.
Sept. 10. Monday morning. Neither Saturday nor yesterday had any money come in. It appeared to me now needful to take some steps on account of our need,i. e.to go to the Orphan Houses, call the brethren and sisters together (who, except brother T——, had never been informed about the state of the funds), state the case to them, see how much money was needed for the present, tell them that amidst all this trial of faith I still believed that God would help, and to pray with them. Especially, also, I meant to go for the sake of telling them that no more articles must be purchased than we have the means to pay for, but to let there be nothing lacking in any way to the children, as it regards nourishing food and needful clothing; for I would rather at once send them away than that they should lack. I meant to go for the sake also of seeing whether there were still articles remaining which had been sent for the purpose of being sold, or whether there were any articles really needless, that we might turn them into money. I felt that the matter was now come to a solemn crisis. About half-past nine sixpence came in, which had been put anonymously into the box at Gideon Chapel. This money seemed to me like an earnest that God would have compassion and send more. About ten, after I had returned from brother Craik, to whom I had unbosomed my heart again, whilst once more in prayer for help, a sister called who gave two sovereigns to my wife for the orphans, stating that she had felt herself stirred up to come, and that she had delayed coming already too long. A few minutes after, when I went into the room where she was, she gave me two sovereigns more, and all this without knowing the least about our need. Thus the Lord most mercifully has sent us a little help, to the great encouragement of my faith. A few minutes after I was called on formoney from the Infant Orphan House, to which I sent two pounds, and one pound sixpence to the Boys’ Orphan House, and one pound to the Girls’ Orphan House.
To-day I saw a young brother who, as well as one of his sisters, has been brought to the knowledge of the Lord through my Narrative.
Sept. 11. The good Lord, in his wisdom, still sees it needful to keep us very low. But this afternoon brother T—— called, and told me that one of our fellow-laborers had sold his metal watch, and two gold pins, for one pound one shilling, that nine shillings sixpence had come in, and that two of our fellow-laborers had sent two lots of books of their own, nineteen and twenty-one in number, to be sold for the orphans.
Sept. 12. Still the trial continues. Only nine shillings came in to-day, given by one of the laborers. In the midst of this great trial of faith the Lord still mercifully keeps me in great peace. He also allows me to see that our labor is not in vain; for yesterday died Leah Culliford, one of the orphans, about nine years old, truly converted, and brought to the faith some months before her departure.
Sept. 13. No help has come yet. This morning I found it was absolutely needful to tell the brethren and sisters about the state of the funds, and to give necessary directions as to going into debt, etc. We prayed together, and had a very happy meeting. They all seemed comfortable. Twelve shillings sixpence was taken out of the boxes in the three houses, twelve shillings one of the laborers gave, and one pound one shilling had come in for needlework done by the children. One of the sisters, who is engaged in the work, sent a message after me, not to trouble myself about her salary, for she should not want any for a twelvemonth.
Sept. 14. I met again this morning with the brethrenand sisters for prayer, as the Lord has not yet sent help. After prayer one of the laborers gave me all the money he had, sixteen shillings, saying that it would not be upright to pray, if he were not to give what he had. One of the sisters told me that in six days she would give six pounds, which she had in the savings bank for such a time of need. Up to this day, the matrons of the three houses had been in the habit of paying the bakers and the milk-man weekly,because they had preferred to receive the payments in this way, and sometimes it had thus been also with the butcher and grocer. But now, as the Lord deals out to usby the day, we consider it would be wrong to go on any longer in this way, as the week’s payment might become due, and we have no money to meet it; and thus those with whom we deal might be inconvenienced by us, and we be found acting against the commandment of the Lord, “Owe no man anything.” Rom. xiii. 8. From this day, and henceforward, whilst the Lord gives to us our supplies by the day, we purpose, therefore, to pay at once for every article as it is purchased, and never to buy any thing except we can pay for it at once, however much it may seem to be needed, and however much those with whom we deal may wish to be paid only by the week. The little which was owed was paid off this day.
Sept. 15.Saturday.We met again this morning for prayer. God comforts our hearts. We are looking for help. I found that there were provisions enough for to-day and to-morrow, but there was no money in hand to take in bread as usual, in order that the children might not have newly baked bread. This afternoon one of the laborers, who had been absent for several days from Bristol, returned, and gave one pound. This evening we met again for prayer, when I found that ten shillings sixpence more had come in since the morning. With this one pound ten shillings sixpence we were able to buy, even this Saturday evening, the usual quantity of bread (as it might be difficult to get stale bread on Monday morning), and have some money left. God be praised, who gave us grace to come to the decision not to take any bread to-day, as usual, nor to buy anything for which we cannot pay at once. We were very comfortable, thankfully taking this money out of our Father’s hands, as a proof that he still cares for us, and that, in his own time, he will send us larger sums.