It was a little less than three weeks since Chilcote and Loder had drunk their toast, and again Loder was seated at his desk.
His head was bent and his hand moved carefully as he traced line after line of meaningless words on a sheet of foolscap. Having covered the page with writing, he rose, moved to the centre-table, and compared his task with an open letter that lay there. The comparison seemed to please him; he straightened his shoulders and threw back his head in an attitude of critical satisfaction. So absorbed was he that, when a step sounded on the stairs outside, he did not notice it, and only raised his head when the door was thrown open unceremoniously. Even then his interest was momentary.
“Hullo!” he said, his eyes returning to their scrutiny of his task.
Chilcote shut the door and came hastily across the room. He looked ill and harassed. As he reached Loder he put out his hand nervously and touched his arm.
Loder looked up. “What is it?” he asked. “Any new development?”
Chilcote tried to smile. “Yes,” he said, huskily; “it's come.”
Loder freed his arm. “What? The end of the world?”
“No. The end of me.” The words came jerkily, the strain that had enforced them showing in every syllable.
Still Loder was uncomprehending; he could not, or would not, understand.
Again Chilcote caught and jerked at his sleeve. “Don't you see? Can't you see?”
“No.”
Chilcote dropped the sleeve and passed his handkerchief across his forehead. “It's come,” he repeated. “Don't you understand? I want you.” He drew away, then stepped back again anxiously. “I know I'm taking you unawares,” he said. “But it's not my fault. On my soul, it's not! The thing seems to spring at me and grip me—” He stopped, sinking weakly into a chair.
For a moment Loder stood erect and immovable—then, almost with reluctance, his glance turned to the figure beside him.
“You want me to take your place to-night—without preparation?” His voice was distinct and firm, but it was free from contempt.
“Yes; yes, I do.” Chilcote spoke without looking up.
“That you may spend the night in morphia—this and other nights?”
Chilcote lifted a flushed, unsettled face. “You have no right to preach. You accepted the bargain.”
Loder raised his head quickly. “I never—” he began; then both his face and voice altered. “You are quite right,” he said, coldly. “You won't have to complain again.”
Chilcote stirred uncomfortably. “My dear chap,” he said, “I meant no offence. It's merely—”
“Your nerves. I know. But come to business. What am I to do?”
Chilcote rose excitedly. “Yes, business. Let's come to business. It's rough on you, taking you short like this. But you have an erratic person to deal with. I've had a horrible day—a horrible day.” His face had paled again, and in the green lamplight it possessed a grayish hue. Involuntarily Loder turned away.
Chilcote watched him as he passed to the desk and began mechanically sorting papers. “A horrible day!” he repeated. “So bad that I daren't face the night. You have read De Quincey?” he asked, with a sudden change of tone.
“Yes.”
“Then read him again and you'll understand. I have all the horrors—without any art. I have no 'Ladies of Sorrow,' but I have worse monsters than his 'crocodile'.” He laughed unpleasantly.
Loder turned. “Why in the devil's name—” he began; then again he halted. Something in Chilcote's drawn, excited face checked him. The strange sense of predestination that we sometimes see in the eyes of another struck cold upon him, chilling his last attempt at remonstrance. “What do you want me to do?” he substituted, in an ordinary voice.
The words steadied Chilcote. He laughed a little. The laugh was still shaky, but it was pitched in a lower key.
“You—you're quite right to pull me up. We have no time to waste. It must be one o'clock.” He pulled out his watch, then walked to the window and stood looking down into the shadowy court. “How quiet you are here!” he said. Then abruptly anew thought struck him and he wheeled back into the room. “Loder,” he said, quickly—-“Loder, I have an idea! While you are me, why shouldn't I be you? Why shouldn't I be John Loder instead of the vagrant we contemplated? It covers everything—it explains everything. It's magnificent! I'm amazed we never thought of it before.”
Loder was still beside the desk. “I thought of it,” he said, without looking back.
“And didn't suggest it?”
“No.”
“Why?”
Loder said nothing and the other colored.
“Jealous of your reputation?” he said, satirically.
“I have none to be jealous of.”
Chilcote laughed disagreeably. “Then you aren't so for gone in philosophy as I thought. You have a niche in your own good opinion.”
Again Loder was silent; then he smiled. “You have an oddly correct perception at times,” he said. “I suppose I have had a lame sort of pride in keeping my name clean. But pride like that is out of fashion—and I've got to float with the tide.” He laughed, the short laugh that Chilcote had heard once or twice before, and, crossing the room, he stood beside his visitor. “After all,” he said, “what business have I with pride, straight or lame? Have my identity, if you want it. When all defences have been broken down one barrier won't save the town.” Laughing again, he laid his hand on the other's arm. “Come,” he said, “give your orders. I capitulate.”
An hour later the two men passed from Loder's bed room, where the final arrangements had been completed, back into the sitting-room. Loder came first, in faultless evening-dress. His hair was carefully brushed, the clothes he wore fitted him perfectly. To any glance, critical or casual, he was the man who had mounted the stairs and entered the rooms earlier in the evening. Chilcote's manner of walking and poise of the head seemed to have descended upon him with Chilcote's clothes. He came into the room hastily and passed to the desk.
“I have no private papers,” he said, “so I have nothing to lock up. Everything can stand as it is. A woman named Robins comes in the mornings to clean up and light the fire; otherwise you must shift for yourself. Nobody will disturb you. Quiet, dead quiet, is about the one thing you can count on.”
Chilcote, half halting in the doorway, made an attempt to laugh. Of the two, he was noticeably the more embarrassed. In Loder's well-worn, well-brushed tweed suit he felt stranded on his own personality, bereft for the moment of the familiar accessories that helped to cloak deficiencies and keep the wheel of conventionality comfortably rolling. He stood unpleasantly conscious of himself, unable to shape his sensations even in thought. He glanced at the fire, at the table, finally at the chair on which he had thrown his overcoat before entering the bedroom. At the sight of the coat his gaze brightened, the aimlessness forsook him, and he gave an exclamation of relief.
“By Jove!” he said. “I clean forgot.”
“What?” Loder looked round.
“The rings.” He crossed to the coat and thrust his hand into the pocket. “The duplicates only arrived this afternoon. The nick of time, eh?” He spoke fast, his fingers searching busily. Occupation of any kind came as a boon.
Loder slowly followed him, and as the box was brought to light he leaned forward interestedly.
“As I told you, one is the copy of an old signet-ring, the other a plain band—a plain gold band like a wedding-ring.” Chilcote laughed as he placed the four rings side by side on his palm. “I could think of nothing else that would be wide—and not ostentatious. You know how I detest display.”
Loder touched the rings. “You have good taste,” he said. “Let's see if they serve their purpose?” He picked them up and carried them to the lamp.
Chilcote followed him. “That was an ugly wound,” he said, his curiosity reawakening as Loder extended his finger. “How did you come by it?”
The other smiled. “It's a memento,” he said.
“Of bravery?”
“No. Quite the reverse.” He looked again at his hand, then glanced back at Chilcote. “No,” he repeated, with an unusual impulse of confidence. “It serves to remind me that I am not exempt—that I have been fooled like other men.”
“That implies a woman?”
“Yes.” Again Loder looked at the scar on his finger. “I seldom recall the thing, it's so absolutely past. But I rather like to remember it to-night. I rather want you to know that I've been through the fire. It's a sort of guarantee.”
Chilcote made a hasty gesture, but the other interrupted it.
“Oh, I know you trust me. But you're giving me a risky post. I want you to see that women are out of my line—quite out of it.”
“But, my dear chap—”
Loder went on without heeding. “This thing happened eight years ago at Santasalare,” he said, “a little place between Luna and Pistoria—a mere handful of houses wedged between two hills. A regular relic of old Italy crumbling away under flowers and sunshine, with nothing to suggest the present century except the occasional passing of a train round the base of one of the hills. I had literally stumbled upon the place on a long tramp south from Switzerland, and had been tempted into a stay at the little inn. The night after my arrival something unusual occurred. There was an accident to the train at the point where it skirted the village.
“There was a small excitement; all the inhabitants were anxious to help, and I took my share. As a matter of fact, the smash was not disastrous; the passengers were hurt and frightened, but nobody was killed.”
He paused and looked at his companion, but, seeing him interested, went on:
“Among these passengers was an English lady. Of all concerned in the business, she was the least upset. When I came upon her she was sitting on the shattered door of one of the carriages, calmly rearranging her hat. On seeing me she looked up with the most charming smile imaginable.
“'I have just been waiting for somebody like you,' she said. 'My stupid maid has got herself smashed up somewhere in the second-class carriages, and I have nobody to help me to find my dog.'
“Of course, that first speech ought to have enlightened me, but it didn't. I only saw the smile and heard the voice; I knew nothing of whether they were deep or shallow. So I found the maid and found the dog. The first expressed gratitude; the other didn't. I extricated him with enormous difficulty from the wreck of the luggage-van, and this was how he marked his appreciation.” He held out his hand and nodded towards the scar.
Chilcote glanced up. “So that's the explanation?”
“Yes. I tried to conceal the thing when I restored the dog, but I was bleeding abominably and I failed. Then the whole business was changed. It was I who needed seeing to, my new friend insisted; I who should be looked after, and not she. She forgot the dog in the newer interest of my wounded finger. The maid, who was practically unhurt, was sent on to engage rooms at the little inn, and she and I followed slowly.
“That walk impressed me. There was an attractive mistiness of atmosphere in the warm night, a sensation more than attractive in being made much of by a woman of one's own class and country after five years' wandering.” He laughed with a touch of irony. “But I won't take up your time with details. You know the progress of an ordinary love affair. Throw in a few more flowers and a little more sunshine than is usual, a man who is practically a hermit and a woman who knows the world by heart, and you have the whole thing.
“She insisted on staying in Santasalare for three days in order to keep my finger bandaged; she ended by staying three weeks in the hope of smashing up my life.
“On coming to the hotel she had given no name; and in our first explanations to each other she led me to conclude her an unmarried girl. It was at the end of the three weeks that I learned that she was not a free agent, as I had innocently imagined, but possessed a husband whom she had left ill with malaria at Florence or Rome.
“The news disconcerted me, and I took no pains to hide it. After that the end came abruptly. In her eyes I had become a fool with middle-class principles; in my eyes—But there is no need for that. She left Santasalare the same night in a great confusion of trunks and hat-boxes; and next morning I strapped on my knapsack and turned my face to the south.”
“And women don't count ever after?” Chilcote smiled, beguiled out of himself.
Loder laughed. “That's what I've been trying to convey. Once bitten, twice shy!” He laughed again and slipped the two rings over his finger with an air of finality.
“Now, shall I start? This is the latch-key?” He drew a key from the pocket of Chilcote's evening-clothes. “When I get to Grosvenor Square I am to find your house, go straight in, mount the stairs, and there on my right hand will be the door of your—I mean my own—private rooms. I think I've got it all by heart. I feel inspired; I feel that I can't go wrong.” He handed the two remaining rings to Chilcote and picked up the overcoat.
“I'll stick on till I get a wire—,” he said. “Then I'll come back and we'll reverse again.” He slipped on the coat and moved back towards the table. Now that the decisive moment had come, it embarrassed him.
Scarcely knowing how to bring it to an end, he held out his hand.
Chilcote took it, paling a little. “'Twill be all right!” he said, with a sudden return of nervousness. “'Twill be all right! And I've made it plain about—about the remuneration? A hundred a week—besides all expenses.”
Loder smiled again. “My pay? Oh yes, you've made it clear as day. Shall we say good-night now?”
“Yes. Good-night.”
There was a strange, distant note in Chilcote's voice, but the other did not pretend to hear it. He pressed the hand he was holding, though the cold dampness of it repelled him.
“Good-night,” he said again.
“Good-night.”
They stood for a moment, awkwardly looking at each other, then Loder quietly disengaged his hand, crossed the room, and passed through the door.
Chilcote, left standing alone in the middle of the room, listened while the last sound of the other's footsteps was audible on the uncarpeted stairs; then, with a furtive, hurried gesture, he caught up the green-shaded lamp and passed into Loder's bedroom.
To all men come portentous moments, difficult moments, triumphant moments. Loder had had his examples of all three, but no moment in his career ever equalled in strangeness of sensation that in which, dressed in another man's clothes, he fitted the latchkey for the first time into the door of the other man's house.
The act was quietly done. The key fitted the lock smoothly and his fingers turned it without hesitation, though his heart, usually extremely steady, beat sharply for a second. The hall loomed massive and sombre despite the modernity of electric lights. It was darkly and expensively decorated in black and brown; a frieze of wrought bronze, representing peacocks with outspread tails, ornamented the walls; the banisters were of heavy iron-work, and the somewhat formidable fireplace was of the same dark metal.
Loder looked about him, then advanced, his heart again beating quickly as his hand touched the cold banister and he began his ascent of the stairs. But at each step his confidence strengthened, his feet became more firm; until, at the head of the stairs, as if to disprove his assurance, his pulses played him false once more, this time to a more serious tune. From the farther end of a well-lighted corridor a maid was coming straight in his direction.
For one short second all things seemed to whiz about him; the certainty of detection overpowered his mind. The indisputable knowledge that he was John Loder and no other, despite all armor of effrontery and dress, so dominated him that all other considerations shrank before it. It wanted but one word, one simple word of denunciation, and the whole scheme was shattered. In the dismay of the moment, he almost wished that the word might be spoken and the suspense ended.
But the maid came on in silence, and so incredible was the silence that Loder moved onward, too. He came within a yard of her, and still she did not speak; then, as he passed her, she drew back respectfully against the wall.
The strain, so astonishingly short, had been immense, but with its slackening came a strong reaction. The expected humiliation seethed suddenly to a desire to dare fate. Pausing quickly, he turned and called the woman back.
The spot where he had halted was vividly bright, the ceiling light being directly above his head; and as she came towards him he raised his face deliberately and-waited.
She looked at him without surprise or interest. “Yes, sir?” she said.
“Is your mistress in?” he asked. He could think of no other question, but it served his purpose as a test of his voice.
Still the woman showed no surprise. “She's not in sir,” she answered. “But she's expected in half an hour.”
“In half an hour? All right! That's all I wanted.” With a movement of decision Loder walked back to the stair-head, turned to the right, and opened the door of Chilcote's rooms.
The door opened on a short, wide passage; on one side stood the study, on the other the bed, bath, and dressing-rooms. With a blind sense of knowledge and unfamiliarity, bred of much description on Chilcote's part, he put his hand on the study door and, still exalted by the omen of his first success, turned the handle.
Inside the room there was firelight and lamplight and a studious air of peace. The realization of this and a slow incredulity at Chilcote's voluntary renunciation were his first impressions; then his attention was needed for more imminent things.
As he entered, the new secretary was returning a volume to its place on the book-shelves. At sight of him, he pushed it hastily into position and turned round.
“I was making a few notes on the political position of Khorasan,” he said, glancing with slight apprehensiveness at the other's face. He was a small, shy man, with few social attainments but an extraordinary amount of learning—the antithesis of the alert Blessington, whom he had replaced.
Loder bore his scrutiny without flinching. Indeed, it struck him suddenly that there was a fund of interest, almost of excitement, in the encountering of each new pair of eyes. At the thought he moved forward to the desk.
“Thank you, Greening,” he said. “A very useful bit of work.”
The secretary glanced up, slightly puzzled. His endurance had been severely taxed in the fourteen days that he had filled his new post.
“I'm glad you think so, sir,” he said, hesitatingly. “You rather pooh-poohed the matter this morning, if you remember.”
Loder was taking off his coat, but stopped in the operation.
“This morning?” he said. “Oh, did I? Did I?” Then, struck by the opportunity the words gave him, he turned towards the secretary. “You've got to get used to me, Greening,” he said. “You haven't quite grasped me yet, I can see. I'm a man of moods, you know. Up to the present you've seen my slack side, my jarred side, but I have quite another when I care to show it. I'm a sort of Jekyll-and-Hyde affair.” Again he laughed, and Greening echoed the sound diffidently. Chilcote had evidently discouraged familiarity.
Loder eyed him with abrupt understanding. He recognized the loneliness in the anxious, conciliatory manner.
“You're tired,” he said, kindly. “Go to bed. I've got some thinking to do. Good-night.” He held out his hand.
Greening took it, still half distrustful of this fresh side to so complex a man.
“Good-night, sir,” he said. “To-morrow, if you approve, I shall go on with my notes. I hope you will have a restful night.”
For a second Loder's eyebrows went up, but he recovered himself instantly.
“Ah, thanks, Greening,” he said. “Thanks. I think your hope will be fulfilled.”
He watched the little secretary move softly and apologetically to the door; then he walked to the fire, and, resting his elbows on the mantel-piece, he took his face in his hands.
For a space he stood absolutely quiet, then his hands dropped to his sides and he turned slowly round. In that short space he had balanced things and found his bearings. The slight nervousness shown in his brusque sentences and overconfident manner faded out, and he faced facts steadily.
With the return of his calmness he took a long survey of the room. His glance brightened appreciatively as it travelled from the walls lined with well-bound books to the lamps modulated to the proper light; from the lamps to the desk fitted with every requirement. Nothing was lacking. All he had once possessed, all he had since dreamed of, was here, but on a greater scale. To enjoy the luxuries of life a man must go long without them. Loder had lived severely—so severely that until three weeks ago he had believed himself exempt from the temptations of humanity. Then the voice of the world had spoken, and within him another voice had answered, with a tone so clamorous and insistent that it had outcried his surprised and incredulous wonder at its existence and its claims. That had been the voice of suppressed ambition; and now as he stood in the new atmosphere a newer voice lifted itself. The joy of material things rose suddenly, overbalancing the last remnant of the philosophy he had reared. He saw all things in a fresh light—the soft carpets, the soft lights, the numberless pleasant, unnecessary things that color the passing landscape and oil the wheels of life. This was power—power made manifest. The choice bindings of one's books, the quiet harmony of one's surroundings, the gratifying deference of one's dependants—these were the visible, the outward signs, the things he had forgotten.
Crossing the room slowly, he lifted and looked at the different papers on the desk. They had a substantial feeling, an importance, an air of value. They were like the solemn keys to so many vexed problems. Beside the papers were a heap of letters neatly arranged and as yet unopened. He turned them over one by one. They were all thick, and interesting to look at. He smiled as he recalled his own scanty mail: envelopes long and bulky or narrow and thin—unwelcome manuscripts or very welcome checks. Having sorted the letters, he hesitated. It was his task to open them, but he had never in his life opened an envelope addressed to another man.
He stood uncertain, weighing them in his hand.
Then all at once a look of attention and surprise crossed his face, and he raised his head. Some one had unmistakably paused outside the door which Greening had left ajar.
There was a moment of apparent doubt, then a stir of skirts, a quick, uncertain knock, and the intruder entered.
For a couple of seconds she stood in the doorway; then, as Loder made no effort to speak, she moved into the room. She had apparently but just returned from some entertainment, for, though she had drawn off her long gloves, she was still wearing an evening cloak of lace and fur.
That she was Chilcote's wife Loder instinctively realized the moment she entered the room. But a disconcerting confusion of ideas was all that followed the knowledge. He stood by the desk, silent and awkward, trying to fit his expectations to his knowledge. Then, faced by the hopelessness of the task, he turned abruptly and looked at her again.
She had taken off her cloak and was standing by the fire. The compulsion of moving through life alone had set its seal upon her in a certain self-possession, a certain confidence of pose; yet her figure, as Loder then saw it, backgrounded by the dark books and gowned in pale blue, had a suggestion of youthfulness that seemed a contradiction. The remembrance of Chilcote's epithets “cold” and “unsympathetic” came back to him with something like astonishment. He felt no uncertainty, no dread of discovery and humiliation in her presence as he had felt in the maid's; yet there was something in her face that made him infinitely more uncomfortable. A look he could find no name for—a friendliness that studiously covered another feeling, whether question, distrust, or actual dislike he could not say. With a strange sensation of awkwardness he sorted Chilcote's letters, waiting for her to speak.
As if divining his thought, she turned towards him. “I'm afraid I rather intrude,” she said. “If you are busy—”
His sense of courtesy was touched; he had begun life with a high opinion of women, and the words shook up an echo of the old sentiment.
“Don't think that,” he said, hastily. “I was only looking through—my letters. You mustn't rate yourself below letters.” He was conscious that his tone was hurried, that his words were a little jagged; but Eve did not appear to notice. Unlike Greening, she took the new manner without surprise. She had known Chilcote for six years.
“I dined with the Fraides to-night,” she said. “Mr. Fraide sent you a message.”
Unconsciously Loder smiled. There was humor in the thought of a message to him from the great Fraide. To hide his amusement he wheeled one of the big lounge-chairs forward.
“Indeed,” he said. “Won't you sit down?”
They were near together now, and he saw her face more fully. Again he was taken aback. Chilcote had spoken of her as successful and intelligent, but never as beautiful. Yet her beauty was a rare and uncommon fact. Her hair was black—not a glossy black, but the dusky black that is softer than any brown; her eyes were large and of a peculiarly pure blue; and her eyelashes were black, beautifully curved and of remarkable thickness.
“Won't you sit down?” he said again, cutting short his thoughts with some confusion.
“Thank you.” She gravely accepted the proffered chair. But he saw that without any ostentation she drew her skirts aside as she passed him. The action displeased him unaccountably.
“Well,” he said, shortly, “what had Fraide to say?” He walked to the mantel-piece with his customary movement and stood watching her. The instinct towards hiding his face had left him. Her instant and uninterested acceptance of him almost nettled him; his own half-contemptuous impression of Chilcote came to him unpleasantly, and with it the first desire to assert his own individuality. Stung by the conflicting emotions, he felt in Chilcote's pockets for something to smoke.
Eve saw and interpreted the action. “Are these your cigarettes?” She leaned towards a small table and took up a box made of lizard-skin.
“Thanks.” He took the box from her, and as it passed from one to the other he saw her glance at his rings. The glance was momentary; her lips parted to express question or surprise, then closed again without comment. More than any spoken words, the incident showed him the gulf that separated husband and wife.
“Well?” he said again, “what about Fraide?”
At his words she sat straighter and looked at him more directly, as if bracing herself to a task.
“Mr. Fraide is—is as interested as ever in you,” she began.
“Or in you?” Loder made the interruption precisely as he felt Chilcote would have made it. Then instantly he wished the words back.
Eve's warm skin colored more deeply; for a second the inscrutable underlying expression that puzzled him showed in her eyes, then she sank back into a corner of the chair.
“Why do you make such a point of sneering at my friends?” she asked, quietly. “I overlook it when you are nervous.” She halted slightly on the word. “But you are not nervous tonight.”
Loder, to his great humiliation, reddened. Except for an occasional outburst on the part of Mrs. Robins, his charwoman, he had not merited a woman's displeasure for years.
“The sneer was unintentional,” he said.
For the first time Eve showed a personal interest. She looked at him in a puzzled way. “If your apology was meant,” she said, hesitatingly, “I should be glad to accept it.”
Loder, uncertain of how to take the words, moved back to the desk. He carried an unlighted cigarette between his fingers.
There was an interval in which neither spoke. Then, at last, conscious of its awkwardness, Eve rose. With one hand on the back of her chair, she looked at him.
“Mr. Fraide thinks it's such a pity that”—she stopped to choose her words—“that you should lose hold on things—lose interest in things, as you are doing. He has been thinking a good deal about you in the last three weeks—ever since the day of your—your illness in the House; and it seems to him,”—again she broke off, watching Loder's averted head—“it seems to him that if you made one real effort now, even now, to shake off your restlessness, that your—your health might improve. He thinks that the present crisis would be”—she hesitated—“would give you a tremendous opportunity. Your trade interests, bound up as they are with Persia, would give any opinion you might hold a double weight.” Almost unconsciously a touch of warmth crept into her words.
“Mr. Fraide talked very seriously about the beginning of your career. He said that if only the spirit of your first days could come back—” Her tone grew quicker, as though she feared ridicule in Loder's silence. “He asked me to use my influence. I know that I have little—none, perhaps—but I couldn't tell him that, and so—so I promised.”
“And have kept the promise?” Loder spoke at random. Her manner and her words had both affected him. There was a sensation of unreality in his brain.
“Yes,” she answered. “I always want to do—what I can.”
As she spoke a sudden realization of the effort she was making struck upon him, and with it his scorn of Chilcote rose in renewed force.
“My intention—” he began, turning to her. Then the futility of any declaration silenced him. “I shall think over what you say,” he added, after a minute's wait. “I suppose I can't say more than that.”
Their eyes met and she smiled a little.
“I don't believe I expected as much,” she said. “I think I'll go now. You have been wonderfully patient.” Again she smiled slightly, at the same time extending her hand. The gesture was quite friendly, but in Loder's eyes it held relief as well as friendliness; and when their hands met he noticed that her fingers barely brushed his.
He picked up her cloak and carried it across the room. As he held the door open, he laid it quietly across her arm.
“I'll think over what you've said,” he repeated.
Again she glanced at him as if suspecting sarcasm then, partly reassured, she paused. “You will always despise your opportunities, and I suppose I shall always envy them,” she said. “That's the way with men and women. Good-night!” With another faint smile she passed out into the corridor.
Loder waited until he heard the outer door close, then he crossed the room thoughtfully and dropped into the chair that she had vacated. He sat for a time looking at the hand her fingers had touched; then he lifted his head with a characteristic movement.
“By Jove!” he said, aloud, “how cordially she detests tests him!”
Loder slept soundly and dreamlessly in Chilcote's canopied bed. To him the big room with its severe magnificence suggested nothing of the gloom and solitude that it held in its owner's eyes. The ponderous furniture, the high ceiling, the heavy curtains, unchanged since the days of Chilcote's grandfather, all hinted at a far-reaching ownership that stirred him. The ownership was mythical in his regard, and the possessions a mirage, but they filled the day. And, surely, sufficient for the day—
That was his frame of mind as he opened his eyes on the following morning, and lay appreciative of his comfort, of the surrounding space, even of the light that filtered through the curtain chinks, suggestive of a world recreated. With day, all things seem possible to a healthy man. He stretched his arms luxuriously, delighting in the glossy smoothness of the sheets.
What was it Chilcote had said? Better live for a day than exist for a lifetime! That was true; and life had begun. At thirty-six he was to know it for the first time.
He smiled, but without irony. Man is at his best at thirty-six, he mused. He has retained his enthusiasms and shed his exuberances; he has learned what to pick up and what to pass by; he no longer imagines that to drain a cup one must taste the dregs. He closed his eyes and stretched again, not his arms only, but his whole body. The pleasure of his mental state insisted on a physical expression. Then, sitting up in bed, he pressed the electric bell.
Chilcote's new valet responded.
“Pull those curtains, Renwick!” he said. “What's the time?” He had passed the ordeal of Renwick's eyes the night before.
The man was slow, even a little stupid. He drew back the curtains carefully, then looked at the small clock on the dressing-table. “Eight o'clock, sir. I didn't expect the bell so early, sir.”
Loder felt reproved, and a pause followed.
“May I bring your cup of tea, sir?”
“No. Not just yet. I'll have a bath first.”
Renwick showed ponderous uncertainty. “Warm, sir?” he hazarded.
“No. Cold.”
Still perplexed, the man left the room.
Loder smiled to himself. The chances of discovery in that quarter were not large. He was inclined to think that Chilcote had even overstepped necessity in the matter of his valet's dullness.
He breakfasted alone, following Chilcote's habit, and after breakfast found his way to the study.
As he entered, Greening rose with the same conciliatory haste that he had shown the night before.
Loder nodded to him. “Early at work?” he said, pleasantly.
The little man showed instant, almost ridiculous relief. “Good-morning, sir,” he said; “you too are early. I rather feared your nerves troubled you after I left last night, for I found your letters still unopened this morning. But I am glad to see you look so well.”
Loder promptly turned his back to the light. “Oh, last night's letters!” he said. “To tell you the truth, Greening, my wife”—his hesitation was very slight—“my wife looked me up after you left, and we gossiped. I clean forgot the post.” He smiled in an explanatory way as he moved to the desk and picked up the letters.
With Greening's eyes upon him, there was no time for scruples. With very creditable coolness he began opening the envelopes one by one. The letters were unimportant, and he passed them one after another to the secretary, experiencing a slight thrill of authority as each left his hand. Again the fact that power is visible in little things came to his mind.
“Give me my engagement-book, Greening,” he said, when the letters had been disposed of.
The book that Greening handed him was neat in shape and bound, like Chilcote's cigarette-case, in lizard-skin.
As Loder took it, the gold monogram “J.C.” winked at him in the bright morning light. The incident moved his sense of humor. He and the book were cooperators in the fraud, it seemed. He felt an inclination to wink back. Nevertheless, he opened it with proper gravity and skimmed the pages.
The page devoted to the day was almost full. On every other line were jottings in Chilcote's irregular hand, and twice among the entries appeared a prominent cross in blue pencilling. Loder's interest quickened as his eye caught the mark. It had been agreed between them that only engagements essential to Chilcote's public life need be carried through during his absence, and these, to save confusion, were to be crossed in blue pencil. The rest, for the most part social claims, were to be left to circumstance and Loder's inclination, Chilcote's erratic memory always accounting for the breaking of trivial promises.
But Loder in his new energy was anxious for obligations; the desire for fresh and greater tests grew with indulgence. He scanned the two lines with eagerness. The first was an interview with Cresham, one of Chilcote's supporters in Wark; the other an engagement to lunch with Fraide. At the idea of the former his interest quickened, but at thought of the latter it quailed momentarily. Had the entry been a royal command it would have affected him infinitely less. For a space his assurance faltered; then, by coincidence, the recollection of Eve and Eve's words of last night came back to him, and his mind was filled with a new sensation.
Because of Chilcote, he was despised by Chilcote's wife! There was no denying that in all the pleasant excitement of the adventure that knowledge had rankled. It came to him now linked with remembrance of the slight, reluctant touch of her fingers, the faintly evasive dislike underlying her glance. It was a trivial thing, but it touched his pride as a man. That was how he put it to himself. It wasn't that he valued this woman's opinion—any woman's opinion; it was merely that it touched his pride. He turned again to the window and gazed out, the engagement book still between his hands. What if he compelled her respect? What if by his own personality cloaked under Chilcote's identity he forced her to admit his capability? It was a matter of pride, after all—scarcely even of pride; self-respect was a better word.
Satisfied by his own reasoning, he turned back into the room.
“See to those letters, Greening,” he said. “And for the rest of the morning's work you might go on with your Khorasan notes. I believe we'll all want every inch of knowledge we can get in that quarter before we're much older. I'll see you again later.” With a reassuring nod he crossed the room and passed through the door.
He lunched with Fraide at his club, and afterwards walked with him to Westminster. The walk and lunch were both memorable. In that hour he learned many things that had been sealed to him before. He tasted his first draught of real elation, his first drop of real discomfiture. He saw for the first time how a great man may condescend—how unostentatiously, how fully, how delightfully. He felt what tact and kindness perfectly combined may accomplish, and he burned inwardly with a sense of duplicity that crushed and elated him alternately. He was John Loder, friendless, penniless, with no present and no future, yet he walked down Whitehall in the full light of day with one of the greatest statesmen England has known.
Some strangers were being shown over the Terrace when he and Fraide reached the House, and, noticing the open door, the old man paused.
“I never refuse fresh air,” he said. “Shall we take another breath of it before settling down?” He took Loder's arm and drew him forward. As they passed through the door-way the pressure of his fingers tightened. “I shall reckon to-day among my pleasantest memories, Chilcote,” he said, gravely. “I can't explain the feeling, but I seem to have touched Eve's husband—the real you, more closely this morning than I ever did before. It has been a genuine happiness.” He looked up with the eyes that, through all his years of action and responsibility, had remained so bright.
But Loder paled suddenly, and his glance turned to the river-wide, mysterious, secret. Unconsciously Fraide had stripped the illusion. It was not John Loder who walked here; it was Chilcote—Chilcote with his position, his constituency—his wife. He half extricated his arm, but Fraide held it.
“No,” he said. “Don't draw away from me. You have always been too ready to do that. It is not often I have a pleasant truth to tell. I won't be deprived of the enjoyment.”
“Can the truth ever be pleasant, sir?” Involuntarily Loder echoed Chilcote.
Fraide looked up. He was half a head shorter than his companion, though his dignity concealed the fact. “Chilcote,” he said, seriously, “give up cynicism! It is the trade-mark of failure, and I do not like it in my friends.”
Loder said nothing. The quiet insight of the reproof, its mitigating kindness, touched him sharply. In that moment he saw the rails down which he had sent his little car of existence spinning, and the sight daunted him. The track was steeper, the gauge narrower, than he had guessed; there were curves and sidings upon which he had not reckoned. He turned his head and met Fraide's glance.
“Don't count too much on me, sir,” he said, slowly. “I might disappoint you again.” His voice broke off on the last word, for the sound of other voices and of laughter came to them across the Terrace as a group of two women and three men passed through the open door. At a glance he realized that the slighter of the two women was Eve.
Seeing them, she disengaged herself from her party and came quickly forward. He saw her cheeks flush and her eyes brighten pleasantly as they rested on his companion; but he noticed also that after her first cursory glance she avoided his own direction.
As she came towards them, Fraide drew away his hand in readiness to greet her.
“Here comes my godchild!” he said. “I often wish, Chilcote, that I could do away with the prefix.” He added the last words in an undertone as he reached them; then he responded warmly to her smile.
“What!” he said. “Turning the Terrace into the Garden of Eden in January! We cannot allow this.”
Eve laughed. “Blame Lady Sarah!” she said. “We met at lunch, and she carried me off. Needless to say I hadn't to ask where.”
They both laughed, and Loder joined, a little uncertainly. He had yet to learn that the devotion of Fraide and his wife was a long-standing jest in their particular set.
At the sound of his tardy laugh Eve turned to him. “I hope I didn't rob you of all sleep last night,” she said. “I caught him in his den,” she explained, turning to Fraide, “and invaded it most courageously. I believe we talked till two.”
Again Loder noticed bow quickly she looked from him to Fraide. The knowledge roused his self-assertion.
“I had an excellent night,” he said. “Do I look as if I hadn't slept?”
Somewhat slowly and reluctantly Eve looked back. “No,” she said, truthfully, and with a faint surprise that to Loder seemed the first genuine emotion she had shown regarding him. “No, I don't think I ever saw you look so well.” She was quite unconscious and very charming as she made the admission. It struck Loder that her coloring of hair and eyes gained by daylight—were brightened and vivified by their setting of sombre river and sombre stone.
Fraide smiled at her affectionately; then looked at Loder. “Chilcote has got anew lease of nerves, Eve,” he said, quietly. “And I—believe—I have got a new henchman. But I see my wife beckoning to me. I must have a word with her before she flits away. May I be excused?” He made a courteous gesture of apology; then smiled at Eve.
She looked after him as he moved away. “I sometimes wonder what I should do if anything were to happen to the Fraides,” she said, a little wistfully. Then almost at once she laughed, as if regretting her impulsiveness. “You heard what he said,” she went on, in a different voice. “Am I really to congratulate you?”
The change of tone stung Loder unaccountably. “Will you always disbelieve in me?” he asked.
Without answering, she walked slowly across the deserted Terrace and, pausing by the parapet, laid her hand on the stonework. Still in silence she looked out across the river.
Loder had followed closely. Again her aloofness seemed a challenge. “Will you always disbelieve in me?” he repeated.
At last she looked up at him, slowly.
“Have you ever given me cause to believe!” she asked, in a quiet voice.
To this truth he found no answer, though the subdued incredulity nettled him afresh.
Prompted to a further effort, he spoke again. “Patience is necessary with every person and every circumstance,” he said. “We've all got to wait and see.”
She did not lower her gaze as he spoke; and there seemed to him something disconcerting in the clear, candid blue of her eyes. With a sudden dread of her next words, he moved forward and laid his hand beside hers on the parapet.
“Patience is needed for every one,” he repeated, quickly. “Sometimes a man is like a bit of wreckage; he drifts till some force stronger than himself gets in his way and stops him.” He looked again at her face. He scarcely knew what he was saying; he only felt that he was a man in an egregiously false position, trying stupidly to justify himself. “Don't you believe that flotsam can sometimes be washed ashore?” he asked.
High above them Big Ben chimed the hour.
Eve raised her head. It almost seemed to him that he could see her answer trembling on her lips; then the voice of Lady Sarah Fraide came cheerfully from behind them.
“Eve!” she called. “Eve! We must fly. It's absolutely three o'clock!”