The Project Gutenberg eBook ofThe MentorThis ebook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this ebook or online atwww.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this eBook.Title: The MentorAuthor: Alfred AyresRelease date: September 8, 2016 [eBook #53011]Most recently updated: October 23, 2024Language: EnglishCredits: Produced by MWS, John Campbell and the Online DistributedProofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file wasproduced from images generously made available by TheInternet Archive/Canadian Libraries)*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE MENTOR ***
This ebook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this ebook or online atwww.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this eBook.
Title: The MentorAuthor: Alfred AyresRelease date: September 8, 2016 [eBook #53011]Most recently updated: October 23, 2024Language: EnglishCredits: Produced by MWS, John Campbell and the Online DistributedProofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file wasproduced from images generously made available by TheInternet Archive/Canadian Libraries)
Title: The Mentor
Author: Alfred Ayres
Author: Alfred Ayres
Release date: September 8, 2016 [eBook #53011]Most recently updated: October 23, 2024
Language: English
Credits: Produced by MWS, John Campbell and the Online DistributedProofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file wasproduced from images generously made available by TheInternet Archive/Canadian Libraries)
*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE MENTOR ***
TRANSCRIBER’S NOTEObvious typographical errors and punctuation errors have been corrected after careful comparison with other occurrences within the text and consultation of external sources.More detail can be found atthe end of the book.
TRANSCRIBER’S NOTE
Obvious typographical errors and punctuation errors have been corrected after careful comparison with other occurrences within the text and consultation of external sources.
More detail can be found atthe end of the book.
BY ALFRED AYRES.Some Ill-used Words.A Manual for the use of those who desire to Write and Speak Correctly. 18mo. Cloth, $1.00.The Orthoëpist.A Pronouncing Manual, containing about Four Thousand Five Hundred Words, including a considerable number of the Names of Foreign Authors, Artists, etc., that are often mispronounced. Revised and enlarged. 18mo. Cloth, $1.25.The Verbalist.A Manual devoted to Brief Discussions of the Right and the Wrong Use of Words, and to some Other Matters of Interest to those who would Speak and Write with Propriety. 18mo. Cloth, $1.25.The Mentor.A Little Book for the Guidance of such Men and Boys as would Appear to Advantage in the Society of Persons of the Better Sort. 18mo. Cloth, $1.00.Acting and Actors;Elocution and Elocutionists. With Preface by Harrison Grey Fiske; Introduction by Edgar S. Werner; Prologue by James A. Waldron.Grammar without a Master.The English Grammarof William Cobbett. Carefully Revised and Annotated. 18mo. Cloth, $1.00,New York: D. APPLETON & CO., 72 Fifth Avenue.
BY ALFRED AYRES.
Some Ill-used Words.
A Manual for the use of those who desire to Write and Speak Correctly. 18mo. Cloth, $1.00.
A Manual for the use of those who desire to Write and Speak Correctly. 18mo. Cloth, $1.00.
The Orthoëpist.
A Pronouncing Manual, containing about Four Thousand Five Hundred Words, including a considerable number of the Names of Foreign Authors, Artists, etc., that are often mispronounced. Revised and enlarged. 18mo. Cloth, $1.25.
A Pronouncing Manual, containing about Four Thousand Five Hundred Words, including a considerable number of the Names of Foreign Authors, Artists, etc., that are often mispronounced. Revised and enlarged. 18mo. Cloth, $1.25.
The Verbalist.
A Manual devoted to Brief Discussions of the Right and the Wrong Use of Words, and to some Other Matters of Interest to those who would Speak and Write with Propriety. 18mo. Cloth, $1.25.
A Manual devoted to Brief Discussions of the Right and the Wrong Use of Words, and to some Other Matters of Interest to those who would Speak and Write with Propriety. 18mo. Cloth, $1.25.
The Mentor.
A Little Book for the Guidance of such Men and Boys as would Appear to Advantage in the Society of Persons of the Better Sort. 18mo. Cloth, $1.00.
A Little Book for the Guidance of such Men and Boys as would Appear to Advantage in the Society of Persons of the Better Sort. 18mo. Cloth, $1.00.
Acting and Actors;
Elocution and Elocutionists. With Preface by Harrison Grey Fiske; Introduction by Edgar S. Werner; Prologue by James A. Waldron.
Elocution and Elocutionists. With Preface by Harrison Grey Fiske; Introduction by Edgar S. Werner; Prologue by James A. Waldron.
Grammar without a Master.
The English Grammar
of William Cobbett. Carefully Revised and Annotated. 18mo. Cloth, $1.00,
of William Cobbett. Carefully Revised and Annotated. 18mo. Cloth, $1.00,
New York: D. APPLETON & CO., 72 Fifth Avenue.
A LITTLE BOOK
FOR THE GUIDANCE OF SUCH MEN AND BOYSAS WOULD APPEAR TO ADVANTAGE INTHE SOCIETY OF PERSONS OFTHE BETTER SORT
BY
ALFRED AYRES
AUTHOR OF THE ORTHOËPIST, THE VERBALIST, ETC.
Virtue itself offends when coupled withforbidding manners.—Middleton.Well dressed, well bred, well carriaged,Is ticket good enough to pass us readilyThrough every door.—Cowper.A good manner is the best thing in theworld, either to get one a good name or tosupply the want of it.—Anonymous.
Virtue itself offends when coupled withforbidding manners.—Middleton.
Well dressed, well bred, well carriaged,Is ticket good enough to pass us readilyThrough every door.—Cowper.
A good manner is the best thing in theworld, either to get one a good name or tosupply the want of it.—Anonymous.
NEW YORKD. APPLETON AND COMPANY1902
Copyright, 1884,By FUNK AND WAGNALLS.Copyright, 1894,By D. APPLETON AND COMPANY.
To select well among old things is almost equal to inventing new ones.—Trublet.
To select well among old things is almost equal to inventing new ones.—Trublet.
To be welcome in the society of persons of the better sort, who are always persons of culture and refinement, we must ourselves be persons of culture and refinement,i.e., we must know and practise the usages that obtain in refined society, and have some acquaintance with letters and art.
In this world it is only like that seeks like. Those that have nothing in common, whose culture and breeding are unlike, whose thoughts are on different things, never seek the society of one another. What points of sympathy are there between the town gallant and the country spark, between the city belle and the dairymaid? If one would be received in the better social circles, one’s culture must be of the kind found there, and, above all, one’s manners must be marked by the observance of those usages that are to refined social commerce what the oil is to the engine.
It is often said that wealth is the surest passport to the better circles of society. Nothing could be further from the truth. The surest passport to the better circles of society is moral worth, supplemented with education, a thing that is made up of two other things—instruction and breeding. True, a little money is necessary to make one’s self presentable, but this little will always suffice. Wealth, we know, contributes greatly to men’s social success, and for good and obvious reasons; but it does not contribute more to social success than does distinction in intellectual pursuits. Laudable achievements will ever have quite as large a following as plethoric purses. Lands and goods are not the things we set the highest value on, many as there are that seem to think so.
This little book will be, I trust, of some service to those men that would better their acquaintance with the usages that govern in the polite world; and I am sure that he that learns half as much by reading it as I have learned in making it will feel well repaid for the time he gives to it.
A. A.
Manners are the ornament of action.—Smiles.Manners are the lesser morals of life.—Aristotle.Little minds are vexed with trifles.—La Rochefoucauld.It is always easy to say a rude thing, but never wise.—Stacy.Marriage is the true road to Paradise.—De La Ferrière.Guard the manners if you would protect the morals.—Davidson.Anger blows out the lamp of the mind.—Robert G. Ingersoll.Good temper is the essence of good manners.—Anonymous.Politeness is the expression or imitation of social virtues.—Duclos.Some people get into the bad habit of being unhappy.—George Eliot.He that has no character is not a man: he is only a thing.—Chamfort.Contempt should be the best concealed of our sentiments.—Anonymous.Sow good services; sweet remembrances will grow from them.—Mme. de Staël.Good manners are the shadows of virtues, if not virtues themselves.—Anonymous.Consideration for woman is the measure of a nation’s progress in social life.—Grégoire.In all professions and occupations, good manners are necessary to success.—Mrs. Ward.Self-love is a balloon filled with wind, from which tempests emerge when pricked.—Voltaire.Manners are the hypocrisies of nations; the hypocrisies are more or less perfected.—Balzac.An earthly father who cannot govern by affection is not fit to be a father.—Robert G. Ingersoll.It is generally allowed that the forming and the perfecting of the character is difficult.—Anonymous.Respect your wife. Heap earth around that flower, but never drop any in the chalice.—A. de Musset.Good manners is the art of making easy the persons with whom we are brought into contact.—Anonymous.One should choose for a wife only such a woman as one would choose for a friend, were she a man.—Joubert.It is a great misfortune not to have enough wit to speak well, or not enough judgment to keep silent.—La Bruyère.Experience and observation in society are the chief means by which one acquires the polish that society demands.—Anonymous.Let what you say be to the purpose, and let it be so said that if we forget the speech we may recollect the manner of it.—Anonymous.The art of conversation consists less in showing one’s own wit than in giving opportunity for the display of the wit of others.—La Bruyère.There is no surer proof of low origin, or of an innate meanness of disposition, than to be always talking and thinking of being genteel.—Hazlitt.Were we as eloquent as angels, we should please some men, some women, and some children, much more by listening than by talking.—Lacon.If you speak the sense of an angel in bad words, and with a disagreeable utterance, nobody will hear you twice who can help it.—Chesterfield.One of the most effectual ways of pleasing and of making one’s self loved is to be cheerful; joy softens more hearts than tears.—Mme. de Sartory.To live with our enemies as if they may some time become our friends, and to live with our friends as if they may some time become our enemies, is not a moral but a political maxim.—Anonymous.There is no flattery so exquisite as the flattery of listening. It may be doubted whether the greatest mind is ever proof against it. Socrates may have loved Plato best of all his disciples because he listened best.—Anonymous.
Manners are the ornament of action.—Smiles.
Manners are the lesser morals of life.—Aristotle.
Little minds are vexed with trifles.—La Rochefoucauld.
It is always easy to say a rude thing, but never wise.—Stacy.
Marriage is the true road to Paradise.—De La Ferrière.
Guard the manners if you would protect the morals.—Davidson.
Anger blows out the lamp of the mind.—Robert G. Ingersoll.
Good temper is the essence of good manners.—Anonymous.
Politeness is the expression or imitation of social virtues.—Duclos.
Some people get into the bad habit of being unhappy.—George Eliot.
He that has no character is not a man: he is only a thing.—Chamfort.
Contempt should be the best concealed of our sentiments.—Anonymous.
Sow good services; sweet remembrances will grow from them.—Mme. de Staël.
Good manners are the shadows of virtues, if not virtues themselves.—Anonymous.
Consideration for woman is the measure of a nation’s progress in social life.—Grégoire.
In all professions and occupations, good manners are necessary to success.—Mrs. Ward.
Self-love is a balloon filled with wind, from which tempests emerge when pricked.—Voltaire.
Manners are the hypocrisies of nations; the hypocrisies are more or less perfected.—Balzac.
An earthly father who cannot govern by affection is not fit to be a father.—Robert G. Ingersoll.
It is generally allowed that the forming and the perfecting of the character is difficult.—Anonymous.
Respect your wife. Heap earth around that flower, but never drop any in the chalice.—A. de Musset.
Good manners is the art of making easy the persons with whom we are brought into contact.—Anonymous.
One should choose for a wife only such a woman as one would choose for a friend, were she a man.—Joubert.
It is a great misfortune not to have enough wit to speak well, or not enough judgment to keep silent.—La Bruyère.
Experience and observation in society are the chief means by which one acquires the polish that society demands.—Anonymous.
Let what you say be to the purpose, and let it be so said that if we forget the speech we may recollect the manner of it.—Anonymous.
The art of conversation consists less in showing one’s own wit than in giving opportunity for the display of the wit of others.—La Bruyère.
There is no surer proof of low origin, or of an innate meanness of disposition, than to be always talking and thinking of being genteel.—Hazlitt.
Were we as eloquent as angels, we should please some men, some women, and some children, much more by listening than by talking.—Lacon.
If you speak the sense of an angel in bad words, and with a disagreeable utterance, nobody will hear you twice who can help it.—Chesterfield.
One of the most effectual ways of pleasing and of making one’s self loved is to be cheerful; joy softens more hearts than tears.—Mme. de Sartory.
To live with our enemies as if they may some time become our friends, and to live with our friends as if they may some time become our enemies, is not a moral but a political maxim.—Anonymous.
There is no flattery so exquisite as the flattery of listening. It may be doubted whether the greatest mind is ever proof against it. Socrates may have loved Plato best of all his disciples because he listened best.—Anonymous.
Though conversation in its better partMay be esteemed a gift, and not an art,Yet much depends, as in the tiller’s toil,On culture and the sowing of the soil.—Cowper.
Though conversation in its better partMay be esteemed a gift, and not an art,Yet much depends, as in the tiller’s toil,On culture and the sowing of the soil.—Cowper.
Though conversation in its better part
May be esteemed a gift, and not an art,
Yet much depends, as in the tiller’s toil,
On culture and the sowing of the soil.
—Cowper.
Personal Appearance,page 11Dress,p. 12. Jewelry, watches, etc.,p. 18. The hair,p. 21. The beard,p. 22. The nails,p. 24. The teeth,p. 24. Canes,p. 27. Full dress,p. 28. Dress at informal gatherings,p. 29, etc., etc., etc.At the Dinner-table,page 31Invitations and answers,p. 32. Punctuality,p. 33. How to enter the drawing-room,p. 34. When dinner is announced,p. 36. Bearing at the table,p. 37. Soup,p. 39. Fish,p. 40. The knife and fork,p. 40. Asparagus,p. 43. The spoon controversy,p. 45. Boiled eggs,p. 47. Wine-drinking,p. 53. Finger-bowls and doilies,p. 55. When to fold your napkin, and when not to,p. 56, etc., etc., etc.In Public,page 58How to walk,p. 59. To stand,p. 60. To sit,p. 61. Salutations,p. 61. The lady—which side in the street,p. 67. In public conveyances,p. 67. In a carriage,p. 68. How to carry umbrella or cane,p. 68. Hand-shaking,p. 70. Street introductions,p. 71. Street recognitions,p. 72. Smoking,p. 73. Humming and whistling,p. 76. The ball-room,p. 77. Party calls,p. 98. Card-playing,p. 98. Places of amusement,p. 100. Applause,p. 105. Remain to the end,p. 106. Bar-rooms,p. 108, etc., etc.Conversation,page 109Calls and Cards,“156Odds and Ends,“169What is a Gentleman?“199
Simple nature, however defective, is better than the least objectionable affectation; and, defects for defects, those that are natural are more bearable than affected virtues.—Saint-Evremond.