For.Mary wouldIsir,Iam somewhat bolde to trouble you,My name isBrooke.80Fal.Good M.Brookeyour verie welcome.For.Ifaith sirIam a gentleman and a traueller,That haue seen somewhat. AndIhaue often heardThat if mony goes before, all waies lie open.Fal.Mony is a good souldier sir, and will on.85For.Ifaith sir, andIhaue a bag here,Would you wood helpe me to beare it.Fal.O Lord, wouldIcould tell how to deserueTo be your porter.For.That may you easily sirIohn:I haue an earnest90Sute to you. But good sirIohnwhen I haueTold you my griefe, cast one eie of your owneEstate, since your selfe knew what tis to beSuch an offender.Fal.Verie well sir, proceed.95For.Sir I am deeply in loue with oneFordswifeOf this Towne. Now sirIohnyou are a gentlemanOf good discoursing, well beloued among Ladies,A man of such parts that might win 20. such as she.Fal.O good sir.VI. 100For.Nay beleeue it sirIohn, for tis time. Now my loueIs so grounded vpon her, that without her loueI shall hardly liue.Fal.Haue you importuned her by any means?Ford.No neuer sir.105Fal.Of what qualitie is your loue then?Ford.Ifaith sir, like a faire house set vponAnother mans foundation.Fal.And to what end haue you vnfolded this to me?For.O sir, when I haue told you that, I told you all:110For she sir stands so pure in the firme stateOf her honestie, that she is too bright to be lookedAgainst: Now could I come against herWith some detection, I should sooner perswade herFrom her marriage vow, and a hundred such nice115Tearmes that sheele stand vpon.Fal.Why would it apply well to the veruensie of your affection,That another should possesse what you would enjoy?Meethinks you prescribe verie preposterouslyTo your selfe.120For.No sir, for by that meanes should I be certaine of that which I now misdoubt.Fal.Wel M.Brooke, Ile first make bold with your mony,Next, giue me your hand. Lastly, you shallAndyou will, enioyFordswife.VI. 125Foord.O good sir.Fal.M.Brooke, I say you shall.For.Want no mony syrIohn, you shall want none.Fal.Want no misterisFordM.Brooke,You shall want none. Euen as you came to me,130Her spokes mate, her go between parted from me:I may tell you M.Brooke, I am to meet herBetweene 8 and 9, for at that time the IealousCuckally knaue her husband wil be from home,Come to me soone at night, you shall know how135I speed M.Brooke.Ford.Sir do you knowFord?Fal.Hang him poore cuckally knaue, I know him not,And yet I wrong him to call him poore. For theySay the cuckally knaue hath legions of angels,140For the which his wife seemes to me well fauored,And Ile vse her as the key of the cuckally knauesCoffer, and there’s my randeuowes.Foord.Meethinkes sir it were good that you knewFord, that you might shun him.145Fal.Hang him cuckally knaue, Ile stare himOut of his wits, Ile keepe him in aweWith this my cudgell: It shall hang like a meatorOre the wittolly knaues head, M.Brookethou shaltSee I will predominate ore the peasant,VI. 150And thou shalt lie with his wife. M.BrookeThou shalt know him for knaue and cuckold,Come to me soone at night.Exit Falstaffe.Ford.What a damned epicurian is this?My wife hath sent for him, the plot is laid:155Pageis an Asse, a foole. A secure Asse,Ile sooner trust an Irishman with myAquauita bottle, SirHuour parson with my cheese,A theefe to walke my ambling gelding, then my wifeWith her selfe: then she plots, then she ruminates,160And what she thinkes in her hart she may effect,Sheele breake her hart but she will effect it.God be praised, God be praised for my iealousie:Well Ile go preuent him, the time drawes on,Better an houre too soone, then a minit too late,165Gods my life cuckold, cuckold.Exit Ford.Sc. vii.Enter the Doctor and his man.Doc.Iohn Rugbiegoe looke met your eies ore de stall,And spie and you can see de parson.Rug.Sir I cannot tell whether he be there or no,But I see a great many comming.5Doc.Bully moy, mon rapierIohn Rugabie, begar deHearing be not so dead as I shall make him.Enter Shallow, Page, my Host, and Slender.Pa.God saue you M. DoctorCayus.Shal.How do you M. Doctor?Ho.God blesse thee my bully doctor, God blesse thee,10Doct.Vat be all you, Van to tree come for, a?Host.Bully to see thee fight, to see thee foine, to see thee trauerse, to see thee here, to see thee there, to see thee passe the punto. The stock, the reuerse, the distance: the montnce is a dead my francoyes? Is a dead my Ethiopian? Ha, what ses my gallon? my15escuolapis? Is a dead bullies taile, is a dead?Doct.Begar de preest be a coward Iack knaue,He dare not shew his face.Host.Thou art a castallian king vrinall.HectorofGreecemy boy.20Sha.He hath showne himselfe the wiser man, M. Doctor:SirHughis a parson, and you a Phisition. You mustGoe with me, M. Doctor.Host.Pardon bully Iustice. A word monsire mockwater.Doct.Mockwater, vatmedat?VII. 25Host.That is in our English tongue, Vallor bully, vallor.Doct.Begar den I haue as mockuater as de Inglish Iack dog, knaue.Host.He will claperclaw thee titely bully.Doct.Claperclawe, vat be dat?30Host.That is, he will make thee amends.Doct.Begar I do looke he shal claperclaw me den,And Ile prouoke him to do it, or let him wag:And moreouer bully, but M.Pageand M.Shallow,And eke cauelliraSlender, go you all ouer the fields to Frogmore?35Pa.SirHughis there, is hee?Host.He is there: go see what humor hee is in,Ile bring the Doctor about by the fields:Will it do well?Shal.We wil do it my host. Farewel M. Doctor.Exit all but the Host and Doctor.40Doc.Begar I will kill de cowardly Iack preest,He is make a foole of moy.Host.Let him die, but first sheth your impatience,Throw cold water on your collor, com go with meThrough the fields toFrogmore, and Ile bring thee45Where mistrisAn Pageisa feastingat a farm house,And thou shalt wear hir cried game: sed I welbully.Doct.Begar excellent vel: and if you speake pour moy, I shall procure you degesseof all de gentlemen monpatinces. I begarIsall.VII. 50Host.For the which Ile be thy aduersaryTo misterisAn Page:sedIwell?Doct.I begar excellent.Host.Let vs wag then.Doct.Alon, alon, alon.Exit omnes.Sc. viii.Enter syr Hugh and Simple.Sir Hu.I pray you do so much as see if you can espieDoctorCayuscomming, and giue me intelligence,Or bring me vrde if you please now.Sim.Iwill sir.5Sir Hu.Ieshu ples mee, how my hart trobes, and trobes,And then she made him bedes of Roses,And a thousand fragrant poses,To shallow riueres. Now so kad vdge me, my hartSwelles more and more. Mee thinksIcan cry10Verie well. There dwelt a man inBabylon,To shallow riuers and to falles,Melodious birds sing Madrigalles.Sim.Sir here is M.Page, and M.Shallow,Comming hither as fast as they can.15Sir Hu.Then it is verie necessaryIput vp my sword,Pray give me my cowne too, marke you.Enter Page, shallow, and Slender.Pa.God saue you sirHugh.Shal.God saue you M. parson.Sir Hu.God plesse you all from his mercies sake now.20Pa.What the word and the sword, doth that agree well?Sir Hu.There is reasons and causes in all things,Iwarrant you now.Pa.Well sirHugh, we are come to craneYour helpe and furtherance in a matter.VIII. 25Sir Hu.What isIpray you?Pa.Ifaith tis this sirHugh. There is an auncient friend of ours, a man of verie good sort, so at oddes with one patience, thatIam sure you would hartily grieue to see him. Now sirHugh, you are a scholler well red, and verie perswasiue, we would intreate you to see30if you could intreat him to patience.Sir Hu.Ipray you who is it? Let vs know that.Pa.I am shure you know him, tis DoctorCayus.Sir Hu.Ihad as leeue you should tel me of a messe of poredge,35He is an arant lowsie beggerly knaue:And he is a coward beside.Pa.Why Ile laie my life tis the manThat he should fight withall.Enter Doctor and the Host, they offer to fight.Shal.Keep them asunder, take away their weapons.40Host.Disarme, let them question.Shal.Let them keepe their limbs hole, and hack our English.Doct.Harke van vrd in your eare. You be vn dagaAnd deIack, coward preest.45Sir Hu.Harke you, let vs not be laughing stockes to other mens humors. By IeshuIwill knock your vrinalls about your knaues cock-comes, for missing your meetings and appointments.Doct.O Ieshu mine host of de garter,Iohn Rogoby,HaueInot met him at de place he make apoint,Haue I not?VIII. 50Sir Hu.So kad vdge me, this is the pointment place,Witnes by my Host of the garter.Host.Peace I say gawle and gawlia, French and Wealch,Soule curer and bodie curer.Doc.This be verie braue, excellent.55Host.PeaceIsay, heare mine host of the garter,AmIwise? am I polliticke? amIMatchauil?ShalIlose my doctor? No, he giues me the motionsAnd the potions. ShalIlose my parson, my sirHu?No, he giues me the prouerbes, and the nouerbes:60Giue me thy hand terestiall, So giue me thy hand celestiall:So boyes of art I haue deceiued you both,I haue directed you to wrong places,Your hearts are mightie, you skins are whole,65Bardolfelaie their swords to pawne. Follow me ladsOf peace, follow me. Ha, ra, la. Follow.Exit Host.Shal.Afore God a mad host, come let vs goe.Doc.Ibegar haue you mocka may thus?I will be euen met you my Iack Host.70Sir Hugh.Giue me your hand doctorCayus,We be all friends:But for mine hosts foolish knauery, let me alone.Doc.Idat be veil begarIbe friends.(Exit omnes.Sc. ix.Enter M. Foord.For.The time drawes on he shuld come to my house,Well wife, you had best worke closely,OrIam like to goe beyond your cunning:I now wil seeke my guesse that comes to dinner,5And in good time see where they all are come.Enter Shallow, Page, host, Slender, Doctor, and sir Hugh.By my faith a knot well met: your welcome all.Pa.I thanke you good M.Ford.For.Welcome good M.Page,I would your daughter were here.10Pa.I thank you sir, she is very well at home.Slen.FatherPageIhope I haue your consentFor MisterisAnne?Pa.You haue sonneSlender, but my wife here,Is altogether for maister Doctor.15Doc.Begar I tanck her hartily.Host.But what say you to yong MaisterFenton?He capers, he daunces, he writes verses, he smellesAll April and May: he wil cary it, he wil carit,Tis in his betmes he wil carite.20Pa.My host not with my consent: the gentleman isWilde, he knowes too much: If he take her,Let him take her simply: for my goods goesWith my liking, and my liking goes not that way.For.Well, I pray go home with me to dinner:IX. 25Besides your cheare Ile shew you wonders: IleShew you a monster. You shall go with meM.Page, and so shall you sir Hugh, and you Maister Doctor.S. Hu.If there be one in the company, I shal make two:Doc.And dere be ven to, I sail make de tird:SirHu,In your teeth for shame,Shal.wel, wel, God be with you, we shall haue the fairerWooing at Maister Pages:Exit Shallow and Slender.Host.Ile to my honest knight sirIohn Falstaffe,And drinke Canary with him.Exit host.35For. I may chance to make him drinke in pipe wine,First come gentlemen.Exit omnes.Sc. x.Enter Mistresse Ford, with two of her men, and a great buck busket.Mis. For.Sirrha, if your M. aske you whitherYou carry this basket, say to the Launderers,I hope you know how to bestow it?Ser.I warrant you misteris.Exit seruant.5Mis. For.Go get you in. Well sirIohn,I beleeue I shall serue you such a trick,You shall haue little mind to come againe.Enter Sir Iohn.Fal.Haue I caught my heauenlie Iewel?Why now let me die.Ihaue liued long inough.10This is the happie houreIhaue desired to see,Now shall I sin in my wish,I would thy husband were dead.Mis. For.Why how then sirIohn?Fal.By the Lord, Ide make thee my Ladie.15Mis. For.Alas sirIohn,Ishould be a verie simple Ladie.Fal.Goe too, I see how thy eie doth emulate the Diamond.And how the arched bent of thy browWould become the ship tire, the tire vellet,Or anie Venetian attire, I see it.20Mis. For.A plaine kercher sirIohn, would fit me better.Fal.By the Lord thou art a traitor to saie so:What made me loue thee? Let that perswade theeTher’s somewhat extraordinarie in thee: Goe tooIloue thee:MistrisFord,Icannot cog,Icannot prate, like oneX. 25Of these fellowes that smels like Bucklers-berie,In simple time, butIloue thee,And none but thee.Mis. For.SirIohn, I am afraid you loue misterisPage.Fal.I thou mightest as well saie30I loue to walke by the Counter gate,Which is as hatefull to meAs the reake of a lime kill.Enter Mistresse Page.Mis. Pa.Mistresse Ford, Mis.Ford, where are you?Mis. For.O Lord step aside good sirIohn.Falstaffe stands behind the aras.35How now MisterisPage, what’s the matter?Mis. Pa.Why your husband woman is comming,With halfeWindsorat his heeles,To looke for a gentleman, that he sesIs hid in his house: his wifes sweet hart.40Mis. For.Speak louder. ButIhope tis not true MisterisPage.Mis. Pa.Tis too true woman. Therefore if youHaue any here, away with him, or your vndone for euer.Mis. For.Alas mistressePage, what shallIdo?Here is a gentleman my friend, how shall I do?45Mis. Pa.Gode body woman, do not stand what shal I do, and what shallIdo. Better any shift, rather then you shamed. Looke heere, here’s a buck-basket, if hee be a man of any reasonable sise, heele in here.Mis. For.Alas I feare he is too big.X. 50Fal.Let me see, let me see, Ile in, Ile in,Follow your friends counsell.Mis. Pa.Fie sirIohn, is this your loue? Go too.(Aside.Fal.I loue thee, and none but thee:Helpe me to conuey me hence,55Ile neuer come here more.Sir Iohn goes into the basket, they put cloathes ouer him, the two men carries it away: Foord meetes it, and all the rest, Page, Doctor, Priest, Slender, Shallow.Ford.Come pray along, you shall see all.How now who goes heare? whither goes this?Whither goes it? set it downe.Mis. For.Now let it go, you had best meddle with60buck-washing.Ford.Buck, good buck, pray come along,MasterPagetake my keyes: helpe to search. GoodSirHughpray come along, helpe a little, a little,He shew you all.65Sir Hu.By Ieshu these are iealosies and distemperes.Exit omnes.Mis. Pa.He is in a pittifull taking.Mis.I wonder what he thoughtWhen my husband bad them set downe the basket.Mis. Pa.Hang him dishonest slaue, we cannot vseHim bad inough. This is excellent for yourHusbands iealousie.Mi. For.Alas poore soule it grieues me at the hart,But this will be a meanes to make him ceaseHis iealous fits, ifFalstaffeslove increase.X. 75Mis. Pa.Nay we wil send toFalstaffeonce again,Tis great pittie we should leaue him:What wiues may be merry, and yet honest too.Mi. For.Shall we be condemnd because we laugh?Tis old, but true: still sowes eate all the draffe.Enter all.80Mis. Pa.Here comes your husband, stand aside.For.Ican find no body within, it may be he lied.Mis. Pa.Did you heare that?Mis. For.I, I, peace.For.Well, Ile not let it go so, yet Ile trie further.85S. Hu.By Ieshu if there be any body in the kitchinOr the cuberts, or the presse, or the buttery,Iam an arrant Iew: now God plesse me:You serue me well, do you not?Pa.Fie M. Fordyou are too blame:90Mis. Pa.I faith tis not well M.Fordto suspectHer thus without cause.Doc.No by my trot it be no vell:For.Wel, I pray bear with me, M.Pagepardon me.Isuffer for it,Isuffer for it:95Sir Hu:You suffer for a bad conscience looke you now:Ford:WellIpray no more, another timeIle tell you all:The mean time go dine with me, pardon me wife,I am sorie; M. Page, pray goe in to dinner,Another timeIle tell you all.X. 100Pa:Wel let it be so, and to morrow I inuite you allTo my house to dinner: and in the morning weeleA birding,Ihaue an excellent Hauke for the bush.Ford:Let it be so: Come M. Page, come wife;I pray you come in all, y’are welcome, pray come in.105Sir Hu:By so kad vdgme, M. FordesisNot in his right wittes:Exit omnes:Sc. xi.Enter sir Iohn Falstaffe.Fal:Bardolfebrew me a pottle sack presently:Bar:With Egges sir?Fal:Simply of it selfe,Ile none of these pullets spermeIn my drink: goe make haste.5HaueIliued to be carried in a basketAnd throwne into the Thames like a barow of Butchers offoll. Well,andI be serued such another tricke, Ile giue them leaue to take out my braines and butter them, and giue them to a dog for a new-yeares gift. Sblood, the rogues slided me in with as little remorse as if they10had gone to drowne a blinde bitches puppies in the litter: and they might know by my sise I haue a kind of alacritie in sinking:andthe bottom had bin as deep as hell I should downe. I had bene drowned, but that the shore was sheluie and somewhat shallowe: a death that I abhorre. For you know the water swelles a man: and what a thing15should I haue bene when I had bene swelled? By the Lord a mountaine of money. Now is the Sacke brewed?Bar.I sir, there’s a woman below would speake with you.Fal.Bid her come vp. Let me put some Sacke among this cold water, for my belly is as cold as if I had swallowed snow-balles20for pilles.Enter Mistresse Quickly.Now whats the newes with you?Quic.I come from misteris Fordforsooth.Fal.MisterisFord, I haue had Ford inough,Ihaue bene throwne into the Ford, my belly is fullXI. 25Of Ford: she hath tickled mee.Quic.O Lord sir, she is the sorrowfullest woman that her seruants mistooke, that euer liued. And sir, she would desire you of all loues you will meet her once againe, to morrow sir, betweene ten and eleuen, and she hopes to make amends for all.30Fal.Ten, and eleuen, saiest thou?Quic.I forsooth.Fal.Well, tell her Ile meet her. Let her but thinkOf mans frailtie: Let her iudge what man is,And then thinke of me. And so farwell.35Quic.Youle not faile sir?Exit mistresse Quickly.Fal.Iwill not faile. Commend me to her.I wonderIheare not of M.Brooke,Ilike hisMony well. By the masse here he is.Enter Brooke.For.God saue you sir.40Fal.Welcome good M.Brooke. You come to know how matters goes.Ford.Thats my comming indeed sir Iohn.Fal.M.BrookeI will not lye to you sir,I was there at my appointed time.45For.And how sped you sir?Fal.Verie ilfauouredly sir.For.Why sir, did she change her determination?Fal.No M.Brooke, but you shall heare. After we had kissed and imbraced, and as it wereeuenamid the prologue of our incounter,XI. 50who should come, but the iealous knaue her husband, and a rabble of his companions at his heeles, thither prouoked and instigated by his distemper. And what to do thinke you? to search for his wiues loue. Euen so, plainly so.For.While ye were there?55Fal.Whilst I was there.For.And did he search and could not finde you?Fal.You shall heare sir, as God would haue it,A litle before comes me onePageswife,Giues her intelligence of her husbands60Approach: and by her inuention, andFordswiuesDistraction, conueyd me into a buck-basket.Ford.A buck basket!Fal.By the Lord a buck-basket, rammed me inWith foule shirts, stokins, greasie napkins,65That M.Brooke, there was a compound of the mostVillanous smel, that euer offended nostrill.Ile tell you M.Brooke, by the Lord for your sakeI suffered three egregious deaths: First to beCrammed like a good bilbo, in the circomference70Of a pack, Hilt to point, heele to head: and then toBe stewed in my owne grease like a Dutch dish:A man of my kidney; by the Lord it was maruell IEscaped suffication; and in the heat of all this,To be throwne into Thames like a horshoo hot:XI. 75MaisterBrooke, thinke of that hissing heate, MaisterBrooke.Ford.Well sir then my shute is void?Youle vndertake it no more?Fal.M.Brooke,Ile be throwne into EtnaAsIhaue bene in the Thames,80EreI thusleaue her:Ihaue receiuedAnother appointment of meeting,Betweene ten and eleuen is the houre.Ford:Why sir, tis almost ten alreadie:Fal:Is it? why then willIaddresse my selfe85For my appointment: M.Brooke, come to me sooneAt night, and you shall know howIspeed,And the end shall be, you shall enjoy her loue:You shall cuckold Foord: come to mee sooneat atnight.Exit Falstaffe.For.Is this a dreame?Is it a vision?90Maister Ford, maister Ford, awake maister Ford,There is a hole made in your best coat M.Ford,And a man shall not onely endure this wrong,But shall stand vnder the taunt of names,Luciferis a good name,Barbasongood: good95Diuels names: but cuckold, wittold, godesoThe diuel himselfe hath not such a name:And they may hang hats here, and napkins hereVpon my homes: wellIle home,Iferit him,And vnlesse the diuel himselfe should aide him.XI. 100Ile search vnpossible places:Ile about it, LeastI repent too late:Exit omnes.Sc. xii.Enter M.Fenton,Page, and mistresse Quickly.Fen:Tell me sweet Nan, how doest thou yet resolue,Shall foolishSlenderhaue thee to his wife?Or one as wise as he, the learned Doctor?Shall such as they enjoy thy maiden hart?5Thou knowst thatIhaue alwaies loued thee deare,And thou hast oft times swore the like to me.An:Good M. Fenton, you may assure your selfeMy hart is setled vpon none but you,Tis as my father and mother please:10Get their consent, you quickly shall haue mine.Fen:Thy father thinks I loue thee for his wealth,Tho I must needs confesse at first that drew me,But since thy vertues wiped that trash away,Iloue theeNan, and so deare is it set,15That whilst I liue, I nere shall thee forget.[Quic:]Godes pitie here comes her father.Enter M. Page his wife, M. Shallow, and Slender.Pa.M.FentonI pray what make you here?You know my answere sir, shees not for you:Knowing my vow, to blame to vse me thus.20Fen.But heare me speake sir.Pa.Pray sir get you gon: Come hither daughter,SonneSlenderlet me speak with you.(they whisper.Quic.Speake to misteris Page.Fen.Pray misteris Pagelet me haue your consent.Mis. Pa.Ifaith M.Fentontis as my husband please.For my part, Ile neither hinder you, nor further you.Quic.How say you this was my doings?I bid you speake to misteris Page.Fen.Here nurse, theres a brace of angels to drink,30Worke what thou canst for me, farwell.(Exit Fen.Quic.By my troth so I will, good hart.
For.Mary wouldIsir,Iam somewhat bolde to trouble you,My name isBrooke.
For.Mary wouldIsir,Iam somewhat bolde to trouble you,
My name isBrooke.
80Fal.Good M.Brookeyour verie welcome.
For.Ifaith sirIam a gentleman and a traueller,That haue seen somewhat. AndIhaue often heardThat if mony goes before, all waies lie open.
For.Ifaith sirIam a gentleman and a traueller,
That haue seen somewhat. AndIhaue often heard
That if mony goes before, all waies lie open.
Fal.Mony is a good souldier sir, and will on.
85For.Ifaith sir, andIhaue a bag here,Would you wood helpe me to beare it.
85For.Ifaith sir, andIhaue a bag here,
Would you wood helpe me to beare it.
Fal.O Lord, wouldIcould tell how to deserueTo be your porter.
Fal.O Lord, wouldIcould tell how to deserue
To be your porter.
For.That may you easily sirIohn:I haue an earnest90Sute to you. But good sirIohnwhen I haueTold you my griefe, cast one eie of your owneEstate, since your selfe knew what tis to beSuch an offender.
For.That may you easily sirIohn:I haue an earnest
90Sute to you. But good sirIohnwhen I haue
Told you my griefe, cast one eie of your owne
Estate, since your selfe knew what tis to be
Such an offender.
Fal.Verie well sir, proceed.
95For.Sir I am deeply in loue with oneFordswifeOf this Towne. Now sirIohnyou are a gentlemanOf good discoursing, well beloued among Ladies,A man of such parts that might win 20. such as she.
95For.Sir I am deeply in loue with oneFordswife
Of this Towne. Now sirIohnyou are a gentleman
Of good discoursing, well beloued among Ladies,
A man of such parts that might win 20. such as she.
Fal.O good sir.
VI. 100For.Nay beleeue it sirIohn, for tis time. Now my loueIs so grounded vpon her, that without her loueI shall hardly liue.
VI. 100For.Nay beleeue it sirIohn, for tis time. Now my loue
Is so grounded vpon her, that without her loue
I shall hardly liue.
Fal.Haue you importuned her by any means?
Ford.No neuer sir.
105Fal.Of what qualitie is your loue then?
Ford.Ifaith sir, like a faire house set vponAnother mans foundation.
Ford.Ifaith sir, like a faire house set vpon
Another mans foundation.
Fal.And to what end haue you vnfolded this to me?
For.O sir, when I haue told you that, I told you all:110For she sir stands so pure in the firme stateOf her honestie, that she is too bright to be lookedAgainst: Now could I come against herWith some detection, I should sooner perswade herFrom her marriage vow, and a hundred such nice115Tearmes that sheele stand vpon.
For.O sir, when I haue told you that, I told you all:
110For she sir stands so pure in the firme state
Of her honestie, that she is too bright to be looked
Against: Now could I come against her
With some detection, I should sooner perswade her
From her marriage vow, and a hundred such nice
115Tearmes that sheele stand vpon.
Fal.Why would it apply well to the veruensie of your affection,That another should possesse what you would enjoy?Meethinks you prescribe verie preposterouslyTo your selfe.
Fal.Why would it apply well to the veruensie of your affection,
That another should possesse what you would enjoy?
Meethinks you prescribe verie preposterously
To your selfe.
120For.No sir, for by that meanes should I be certaine of that which I now misdoubt.
Fal.Wel M.Brooke, Ile first make bold with your mony,Next, giue me your hand. Lastly, you shallAndyou will, enioyFordswife.
Fal.Wel M.Brooke, Ile first make bold with your mony,
Next, giue me your hand. Lastly, you shall
Andyou will, enioyFordswife.
VI. 125Foord.O good sir.
Fal.M.Brooke, I say you shall.
For.Want no mony syrIohn, you shall want none.
Fal.Want no misterisFordM.Brooke,You shall want none. Euen as you came to me,130Her spokes mate, her go between parted from me:I may tell you M.Brooke, I am to meet herBetweene 8 and 9, for at that time the IealousCuckally knaue her husband wil be from home,Come to me soone at night, you shall know how135I speed M.Brooke.
Fal.Want no misterisFordM.Brooke,
You shall want none. Euen as you came to me,
130Her spokes mate, her go between parted from me:
I may tell you M.Brooke, I am to meet her
Betweene 8 and 9, for at that time the Iealous
Cuckally knaue her husband wil be from home,
Come to me soone at night, you shall know how
135I speed M.Brooke.
Ford.Sir do you knowFord?
Fal.Hang him poore cuckally knaue, I know him not,And yet I wrong him to call him poore. For theySay the cuckally knaue hath legions of angels,140For the which his wife seemes to me well fauored,And Ile vse her as the key of the cuckally knauesCoffer, and there’s my randeuowes.
Fal.Hang him poore cuckally knaue, I know him not,
And yet I wrong him to call him poore. For they
Say the cuckally knaue hath legions of angels,
140For the which his wife seemes to me well fauored,
And Ile vse her as the key of the cuckally knaues
Coffer, and there’s my randeuowes.
Foord.Meethinkes sir it were good that you knewFord, that you might shun him.
Foord.Meethinkes sir it were good that you knew
Ford, that you might shun him.
145Fal.Hang him cuckally knaue, Ile stare himOut of his wits, Ile keepe him in aweWith this my cudgell: It shall hang like a meatorOre the wittolly knaues head, M.Brookethou shaltSee I will predominate ore the peasant,VI. 150And thou shalt lie with his wife. M.BrookeThou shalt know him for knaue and cuckold,Come to me soone at night.
145Fal.Hang him cuckally knaue, Ile stare him
Out of his wits, Ile keepe him in awe
With this my cudgell: It shall hang like a meator
Ore the wittolly knaues head, M.Brookethou shalt
See I will predominate ore the peasant,
VI. 150And thou shalt lie with his wife. M.Brooke
Thou shalt know him for knaue and cuckold,
Come to me soone at night.
Exit Falstaffe.
Ford.What a damned epicurian is this?My wife hath sent for him, the plot is laid:155Pageis an Asse, a foole. A secure Asse,Ile sooner trust an Irishman with myAquauita bottle, SirHuour parson with my cheese,A theefe to walke my ambling gelding, then my wifeWith her selfe: then she plots, then she ruminates,160And what she thinkes in her hart she may effect,Sheele breake her hart but she will effect it.God be praised, God be praised for my iealousie:Well Ile go preuent him, the time drawes on,Better an houre too soone, then a minit too late,165Gods my life cuckold, cuckold.
Ford.What a damned epicurian is this?
My wife hath sent for him, the plot is laid:
155Pageis an Asse, a foole. A secure Asse,
Ile sooner trust an Irishman with my
Aquauita bottle, SirHuour parson with my cheese,
A theefe to walke my ambling gelding, then my wife
With her selfe: then she plots, then she ruminates,
160And what she thinkes in her hart she may effect,
Sheele breake her hart but she will effect it.
God be praised, God be praised for my iealousie:
Well Ile go preuent him, the time drawes on,
Better an houre too soone, then a minit too late,
165Gods my life cuckold, cuckold.
Exit Ford.
Doc.Iohn Rugbiegoe looke met your eies ore de stall,And spie and you can see de parson.
Doc.Iohn Rugbiegoe looke met your eies ore de stall,
And spie and you can see de parson.
Rug.Sir I cannot tell whether he be there or no,But I see a great many comming.
Rug.Sir I cannot tell whether he be there or no,
But I see a great many comming.
5Doc.Bully moy, mon rapierIohn Rugabie, begar deHearing be not so dead as I shall make him.
5Doc.Bully moy, mon rapierIohn Rugabie, begar de
Hearing be not so dead as I shall make him.
Pa.God saue you M. DoctorCayus.
Shal.How do you M. Doctor?
Ho.God blesse thee my bully doctor, God blesse thee,
10Doct.Vat be all you, Van to tree come for, a?
Host.Bully to see thee fight, to see thee foine, to see thee trauerse, to see thee here, to see thee there, to see thee passe the punto. The stock, the reuerse, the distance: the montnce is a dead my francoyes? Is a dead my Ethiopian? Ha, what ses my gallon? my15escuolapis? Is a dead bullies taile, is a dead?
Doct.Begar de preest be a coward Iack knaue,He dare not shew his face.
Doct.Begar de preest be a coward Iack knaue,
He dare not shew his face.
Host.Thou art a castallian king vrinall.HectorofGreecemy boy.
Host.Thou art a castallian king vrinall.
HectorofGreecemy boy.
20Sha.He hath showne himselfe the wiser man, M. Doctor:SirHughis a parson, and you a Phisition. You mustGoe with me, M. Doctor.
20Sha.He hath showne himselfe the wiser man, M. Doctor:
SirHughis a parson, and you a Phisition. You must
Goe with me, M. Doctor.
Host.Pardon bully Iustice. A word monsire mockwater.
Doct.Mockwater, vatmedat?
VII. 25Host.That is in our English tongue, Vallor bully, vallor.
Doct.Begar den I haue as mockuater as de Inglish Iack dog, knaue.
Host.He will claperclaw thee titely bully.
Doct.Claperclawe, vat be dat?
30Host.That is, he will make thee amends.
Doct.Begar I do looke he shal claperclaw me den,And Ile prouoke him to do it, or let him wag:And moreouer bully, but M.Pageand M.Shallow,And eke cauelliraSlender, go you all ouer the fields to Frogmore?
Doct.Begar I do looke he shal claperclaw me den,
And Ile prouoke him to do it, or let him wag:
And moreouer bully, but M.Pageand M.Shallow,
And eke cauelliraSlender, go you all ouer the fields to Frogmore?
35Pa.SirHughis there, is hee?
Host.He is there: go see what humor hee is in,Ile bring the Doctor about by the fields:Will it do well?
Host.He is there: go see what humor hee is in,
Ile bring the Doctor about by the fields:
Will it do well?
Shal.We wil do it my host. Farewel M. Doctor.
Exit all but the Host and Doctor.
40Doc.Begar I will kill de cowardly Iack preest,He is make a foole of moy.
40Doc.Begar I will kill de cowardly Iack preest,
He is make a foole of moy.
Host.Let him die, but first sheth your impatience,Throw cold water on your collor, com go with meThrough the fields toFrogmore, and Ile bring thee45Where mistrisAn Pageisa feastingat a farm house,And thou shalt wear hir cried game: sed I welbully.
Host.Let him die, but first sheth your impatience,
Throw cold water on your collor, com go with me
Through the fields toFrogmore, and Ile bring thee
45Where mistrisAn Pageisa feastingat a farm house,
And thou shalt wear hir cried game: sed I welbully.
Doct.Begar excellent vel: and if you speake pour moy, I shall procure you degesseof all de gentlemen monpatinces. I begarIsall.
VII. 50Host.For the which Ile be thy aduersaryTo misterisAn Page:sedIwell?
VII. 50Host.For the which Ile be thy aduersary
To misterisAn Page:sedIwell?
Doct.I begar excellent.
Host.Let vs wag then.
Doct.Alon, alon, alon.
Exit omnes.
Sir Hu.I pray you do so much as see if you can espieDoctorCayuscomming, and giue me intelligence,Or bring me vrde if you please now.
Sir Hu.I pray you do so much as see if you can espie
DoctorCayuscomming, and giue me intelligence,
Or bring me vrde if you please now.
Sim.Iwill sir.
5Sir Hu.Ieshu ples mee, how my hart trobes, and trobes,And then she made him bedes of Roses,And a thousand fragrant poses,To shallow riueres. Now so kad vdge me, my hartSwelles more and more. Mee thinksIcan cry10Verie well. There dwelt a man inBabylon,To shallow riuers and to falles,Melodious birds sing Madrigalles.
5Sir Hu.Ieshu ples mee, how my hart trobes, and trobes,
And then she made him bedes of Roses,
And a thousand fragrant poses,
To shallow riueres. Now so kad vdge me, my hart
Swelles more and more. Mee thinksIcan cry
10Verie well. There dwelt a man inBabylon,
To shallow riuers and to falles,
Melodious birds sing Madrigalles.
Sim.Sir here is M.Page, and M.Shallow,Comming hither as fast as they can.
Sim.Sir here is M.Page, and M.Shallow,
Comming hither as fast as they can.
15Sir Hu.Then it is verie necessaryIput vp my sword,Pray give me my cowne too, marke you.
15Sir Hu.Then it is verie necessaryIput vp my sword,
Pray give me my cowne too, marke you.
Pa.God saue you sirHugh.
Shal.God saue you M. parson.
Sir Hu.God plesse you all from his mercies sake now.
20Pa.What the word and the sword, doth that agree well?
Sir Hu.There is reasons and causes in all things,Iwarrant you now.
Sir Hu.There is reasons and causes in all things,
Iwarrant you now.
Pa.Well sirHugh, we are come to craneYour helpe and furtherance in a matter.
Pa.Well sirHugh, we are come to crane
Your helpe and furtherance in a matter.
VIII. 25Sir Hu.What isIpray you?
Pa.Ifaith tis this sirHugh. There is an auncient friend of ours, a man of verie good sort, so at oddes with one patience, thatIam sure you would hartily grieue to see him. Now sirHugh, you are a scholler well red, and verie perswasiue, we would intreate you to see30if you could intreat him to patience.
Sir Hu.Ipray you who is it? Let vs know that.
Pa.I am shure you know him, tis DoctorCayus.
Sir Hu.Ihad as leeue you should tel me of a messe of poredge,35He is an arant lowsie beggerly knaue:And he is a coward beside.
Sir Hu.Ihad as leeue you should tel me of a messe of poredge,
35He is an arant lowsie beggerly knaue:
And he is a coward beside.
Pa.Why Ile laie my life tis the manThat he should fight withall.
Pa.Why Ile laie my life tis the man
That he should fight withall.
Shal.Keep them asunder, take away their weapons.
40Host.Disarme, let them question.
Shal.Let them keepe their limbs hole, and hack our English.
Doct.Harke van vrd in your eare. You be vn dagaAnd deIack, coward preest.
Doct.Harke van vrd in your eare. You be vn daga
And deIack, coward preest.
45Sir Hu.Harke you, let vs not be laughing stockes to other mens humors. By IeshuIwill knock your vrinalls about your knaues cock-comes, for missing your meetings and appointments.
Doct.O Ieshu mine host of de garter,Iohn Rogoby,HaueInot met him at de place he make apoint,Haue I not?
Doct.O Ieshu mine host of de garter,Iohn Rogoby,
HaueInot met him at de place he make apoint,
Haue I not?
VIII. 50Sir Hu.So kad vdge me, this is the pointment place,Witnes by my Host of the garter.
VIII. 50Sir Hu.So kad vdge me, this is the pointment place,
Witnes by my Host of the garter.
Host.Peace I say gawle and gawlia, French and Wealch,Soule curer and bodie curer.
Host.Peace I say gawle and gawlia, French and Wealch,
Soule curer and bodie curer.
Doc.This be verie braue, excellent.
55Host.PeaceIsay, heare mine host of the garter,AmIwise? am I polliticke? amIMatchauil?ShalIlose my doctor? No, he giues me the motionsAnd the potions. ShalIlose my parson, my sirHu?No, he giues me the prouerbes, and the nouerbes:60Giue me thy hand terestiall, So giue me thy hand celestiall:So boyes of art I haue deceiued you both,I haue directed you to wrong places,Your hearts are mightie, you skins are whole,65Bardolfelaie their swords to pawne. Follow me ladsOf peace, follow me. Ha, ra, la. Follow.
55Host.PeaceIsay, heare mine host of the garter,
AmIwise? am I polliticke? amIMatchauil?
ShalIlose my doctor? No, he giues me the motions
And the potions. ShalIlose my parson, my sirHu?
No, he giues me the prouerbes, and the nouerbes:
60Giue me thy hand terestiall, So giue me thy hand celestiall:
So boyes of art I haue deceiued you both,
I haue directed you to wrong places,
Your hearts are mightie, you skins are whole,
65Bardolfelaie their swords to pawne. Follow me lads
Of peace, follow me. Ha, ra, la. Follow.
Exit Host.
Shal.Afore God a mad host, come let vs goe.
Doc.Ibegar haue you mocka may thus?I will be euen met you my Iack Host.
Doc.Ibegar haue you mocka may thus?
I will be euen met you my Iack Host.
70Sir Hugh.Giue me your hand doctorCayus,We be all friends:But for mine hosts foolish knauery, let me alone.
70Sir Hugh.Giue me your hand doctorCayus,
We be all friends:
But for mine hosts foolish knauery, let me alone.
Doc.Idat be veil begarIbe friends.
(Exit omnes.
For.The time drawes on he shuld come to my house,Well wife, you had best worke closely,OrIam like to goe beyond your cunning:I now wil seeke my guesse that comes to dinner,5And in good time see where they all are come.
For.The time drawes on he shuld come to my house,
Well wife, you had best worke closely,
OrIam like to goe beyond your cunning:
I now wil seeke my guesse that comes to dinner,
5And in good time see where they all are come.
By my faith a knot well met: your welcome all.
Pa.I thanke you good M.Ford.
For.Welcome good M.Page,I would your daughter were here.
For.Welcome good M.Page,
I would your daughter were here.
10Pa.I thank you sir, she is very well at home.
Slen.FatherPageIhope I haue your consentFor MisterisAnne?
Slen.FatherPageIhope I haue your consent
For MisterisAnne?
Pa.You haue sonneSlender, but my wife here,Is altogether for maister Doctor.
Pa.You haue sonneSlender, but my wife here,
Is altogether for maister Doctor.
15Doc.Begar I tanck her hartily.
Host.But what say you to yong MaisterFenton?He capers, he daunces, he writes verses, he smellesAll April and May: he wil cary it, he wil carit,Tis in his betmes he wil carite.
Host.But what say you to yong MaisterFenton?
He capers, he daunces, he writes verses, he smelles
All April and May: he wil cary it, he wil carit,
Tis in his betmes he wil carite.
20Pa.My host not with my consent: the gentleman isWilde, he knowes too much: If he take her,Let him take her simply: for my goods goesWith my liking, and my liking goes not that way.
20Pa.My host not with my consent: the gentleman is
Wilde, he knowes too much: If he take her,
Let him take her simply: for my goods goes
With my liking, and my liking goes not that way.
For.Well, I pray go home with me to dinner:IX. 25Besides your cheare Ile shew you wonders: IleShew you a monster. You shall go with meM.Page, and so shall you sir Hugh, and you Maister Doctor.
For.Well, I pray go home with me to dinner:
IX. 25Besides your cheare Ile shew you wonders: Ile
Shew you a monster. You shall go with me
M.Page, and so shall you sir Hugh, and you Maister Doctor.
S. Hu.If there be one in the company, I shal make two:
Doc.And dere be ven to, I sail make de tird:
SirHu,In your teeth for shame,
Shal.wel, wel, God be with you, we shall haue the fairerWooing at Maister Pages:
Shal.wel, wel, God be with you, we shall haue the fairer
Wooing at Maister Pages:
Exit Shallow and Slender.
Host.Ile to my honest knight sirIohn Falstaffe,And drinke Canary with him.
Host.Ile to my honest knight sirIohn Falstaffe,
And drinke Canary with him.
Exit host.
35For. I may chance to make him drinke in pipe wine,First come gentlemen.
35For. I may chance to make him drinke in pipe wine,
First come gentlemen.
Exit omnes.
Mis. For.Sirrha, if your M. aske you whitherYou carry this basket, say to the Launderers,I hope you know how to bestow it?
Mis. For.Sirrha, if your M. aske you whither
You carry this basket, say to the Launderers,
I hope you know how to bestow it?
Ser.I warrant you misteris.
Exit seruant.
5Mis. For.Go get you in. Well sirIohn,I beleeue I shall serue you such a trick,You shall haue little mind to come againe.
5Mis. For.Go get you in. Well sirIohn,
I beleeue I shall serue you such a trick,
You shall haue little mind to come againe.
Fal.Haue I caught my heauenlie Iewel?Why now let me die.Ihaue liued long inough.10This is the happie houreIhaue desired to see,Now shall I sin in my wish,I would thy husband were dead.
Fal.Haue I caught my heauenlie Iewel?
Why now let me die.Ihaue liued long inough.
10This is the happie houreIhaue desired to see,
Now shall I sin in my wish,
I would thy husband were dead.
Mis. For.Why how then sirIohn?
Fal.By the Lord, Ide make thee my Ladie.
15Mis. For.Alas sirIohn,Ishould be a verie simple Ladie.
Fal.Goe too, I see how thy eie doth emulate the Diamond.And how the arched bent of thy browWould become the ship tire, the tire vellet,Or anie Venetian attire, I see it.
Fal.Goe too, I see how thy eie doth emulate the Diamond.
And how the arched bent of thy brow
Would become the ship tire, the tire vellet,
Or anie Venetian attire, I see it.
20Mis. For.A plaine kercher sirIohn, would fit me better.
Fal.By the Lord thou art a traitor to saie so:What made me loue thee? Let that perswade theeTher’s somewhat extraordinarie in thee: Goe tooIloue thee:MistrisFord,Icannot cog,Icannot prate, like oneX. 25Of these fellowes that smels like Bucklers-berie,In simple time, butIloue thee,And none but thee.
Fal.By the Lord thou art a traitor to saie so:
What made me loue thee? Let that perswade thee
Ther’s somewhat extraordinarie in thee: Goe tooIloue thee:
MistrisFord,Icannot cog,Icannot prate, like one
X. 25Of these fellowes that smels like Bucklers-berie,
In simple time, butIloue thee,
And none but thee.
Mis. For.SirIohn, I am afraid you loue misterisPage.
Fal.I thou mightest as well saie30I loue to walke by the Counter gate,Which is as hatefull to meAs the reake of a lime kill.
Fal.I thou mightest as well saie
30I loue to walke by the Counter gate,
Which is as hatefull to me
As the reake of a lime kill.
Mis. Pa.Mistresse Ford, Mis.Ford, where are you?
Mis. For.O Lord step aside good sirIohn.Falstaffe stands behind the aras.35How now MisterisPage, what’s the matter?
Mis. For.O Lord step aside good sirIohn.
Falstaffe stands behind the aras.
35How now MisterisPage, what’s the matter?
Mis. Pa.Why your husband woman is comming,With halfeWindsorat his heeles,To looke for a gentleman, that he sesIs hid in his house: his wifes sweet hart.
Mis. Pa.Why your husband woman is comming,
With halfeWindsorat his heeles,
To looke for a gentleman, that he ses
Is hid in his house: his wifes sweet hart.
40Mis. For.Speak louder. ButIhope tis not true MisterisPage.
Mis. Pa.Tis too true woman. Therefore if youHaue any here, away with him, or your vndone for euer.
Mis. Pa.Tis too true woman. Therefore if you
Haue any here, away with him, or your vndone for euer.
Mis. For.Alas mistressePage, what shallIdo?Here is a gentleman my friend, how shall I do?
Mis. For.Alas mistressePage, what shallIdo?
Here is a gentleman my friend, how shall I do?
45Mis. Pa.Gode body woman, do not stand what shal I do, and what shallIdo. Better any shift, rather then you shamed. Looke heere, here’s a buck-basket, if hee be a man of any reasonable sise, heele in here.
Mis. For.Alas I feare he is too big.
X. 50Fal.Let me see, let me see, Ile in, Ile in,Follow your friends counsell.
X. 50Fal.Let me see, let me see, Ile in, Ile in,
Follow your friends counsell.
Mis. Pa.Fie sirIohn, is this your loue? Go too.(Aside.
Fal.I loue thee, and none but thee:Helpe me to conuey me hence,55Ile neuer come here more.
Fal.I loue thee, and none but thee:
Helpe me to conuey me hence,
55Ile neuer come here more.
Ford.Come pray along, you shall see all.How now who goes heare? whither goes this?Whither goes it? set it downe.
Ford.Come pray along, you shall see all.
How now who goes heare? whither goes this?
Whither goes it? set it downe.
Mis. For.Now let it go, you had best meddle with60buck-washing.
Ford.Buck, good buck, pray come along,MasterPagetake my keyes: helpe to search. GoodSirHughpray come along, helpe a little, a little,He shew you all.
Ford.Buck, good buck, pray come along,
MasterPagetake my keyes: helpe to search. Good
SirHughpray come along, helpe a little, a little,
He shew you all.
65Sir Hu.By Ieshu these are iealosies and distemperes.
Exit omnes.
Mis. Pa.He is in a pittifull taking.
Mis.I wonder what he thoughtWhen my husband bad them set downe the basket.
Mis.I wonder what he thought
When my husband bad them set downe the basket.
Mis. Pa.Hang him dishonest slaue, we cannot vseHim bad inough. This is excellent for yourHusbands iealousie.
Mis. Pa.Hang him dishonest slaue, we cannot vse
Him bad inough. This is excellent for your
Husbands iealousie.
Mi. For.Alas poore soule it grieues me at the hart,But this will be a meanes to make him ceaseHis iealous fits, ifFalstaffeslove increase.
Mi. For.Alas poore soule it grieues me at the hart,
But this will be a meanes to make him cease
His iealous fits, ifFalstaffeslove increase.
X. 75Mis. Pa.Nay we wil send toFalstaffeonce again,Tis great pittie we should leaue him:What wiues may be merry, and yet honest too.
X. 75Mis. Pa.Nay we wil send toFalstaffeonce again,
Tis great pittie we should leaue him:
What wiues may be merry, and yet honest too.
Mi. For.Shall we be condemnd because we laugh?Tis old, but true: still sowes eate all the draffe.
Mi. For.Shall we be condemnd because we laugh?
Tis old, but true: still sowes eate all the draffe.
80Mis. Pa.Here comes your husband, stand aside.
For.Ican find no body within, it may be he lied.
Mis. Pa.Did you heare that?
Mis. For.I, I, peace.
For.Well, Ile not let it go so, yet Ile trie further.
85S. Hu.By Ieshu if there be any body in the kitchinOr the cuberts, or the presse, or the buttery,Iam an arrant Iew: now God plesse me:You serue me well, do you not?
85S. Hu.By Ieshu if there be any body in the kitchin
Or the cuberts, or the presse, or the buttery,
Iam an arrant Iew: now God plesse me:
You serue me well, do you not?
Pa.Fie M. Fordyou are too blame:
90Mis. Pa.I faith tis not well M.Fordto suspectHer thus without cause.
90Mis. Pa.I faith tis not well M.Fordto suspect
Her thus without cause.
Doc.No by my trot it be no vell:
For.Wel, I pray bear with me, M.Pagepardon me.Isuffer for it,Isuffer for it:
For.Wel, I pray bear with me, M.Pagepardon me.
Isuffer for it,Isuffer for it:
95Sir Hu:You suffer for a bad conscience looke you now:
Ford:WellIpray no more, another timeIle tell you all:The mean time go dine with me, pardon me wife,I am sorie; M. Page, pray goe in to dinner,Another timeIle tell you all.
Ford:WellIpray no more, another timeIle tell you all:
The mean time go dine with me, pardon me wife,
I am sorie; M. Page, pray goe in to dinner,
Another timeIle tell you all.
X. 100Pa:Wel let it be so, and to morrow I inuite you allTo my house to dinner: and in the morning weeleA birding,Ihaue an excellent Hauke for the bush.
X. 100Pa:Wel let it be so, and to morrow I inuite you all
To my house to dinner: and in the morning weele
A birding,Ihaue an excellent Hauke for the bush.
Ford:Let it be so: Come M. Page, come wife;I pray you come in all, y’are welcome, pray come in.
Ford:Let it be so: Come M. Page, come wife;
I pray you come in all, y’are welcome, pray come in.
105Sir Hu:By so kad vdgme, M. FordesisNot in his right wittes:
105Sir Hu:By so kad vdgme, M. Fordesis
Not in his right wittes:
Exit omnes:
Fal:Bardolfebrew me a pottle sack presently:
Bar:With Egges sir?
Fal:Simply of it selfe,Ile none of these pullets spermeIn my drink: goe make haste.5HaueIliued to be carried in a basket
Fal:Simply of it selfe,Ile none of these pullets sperme
In my drink: goe make haste.
5HaueIliued to be carried in a basket
And throwne into the Thames like a barow of Butchers offoll. Well,andI be serued such another tricke, Ile giue them leaue to take out my braines and butter them, and giue them to a dog for a new-yeares gift. Sblood, the rogues slided me in with as little remorse as if they10had gone to drowne a blinde bitches puppies in the litter: and they might know by my sise I haue a kind of alacritie in sinking:andthe bottom had bin as deep as hell I should downe. I had bene drowned, but that the shore was sheluie and somewhat shallowe: a death that I abhorre. For you know the water swelles a man: and what a thing15should I haue bene when I had bene swelled? By the Lord a mountaine of money. Now is the Sacke brewed?
Bar.I sir, there’s a woman below would speake with you.
Fal.Bid her come vp. Let me put some Sacke among this cold water, for my belly is as cold as if I had swallowed snow-balles20for pilles.
Now whats the newes with you?
Quic.I come from misteris Fordforsooth.
Fal.MisterisFord, I haue had Ford inough,Ihaue bene throwne into the Ford, my belly is fullXI. 25Of Ford: she hath tickled mee.
Fal.MisterisFord, I haue had Ford inough,
Ihaue bene throwne into the Ford, my belly is full
XI. 25Of Ford: she hath tickled mee.
Quic.O Lord sir, she is the sorrowfullest woman that her seruants mistooke, that euer liued. And sir, she would desire you of all loues you will meet her once againe, to morrow sir, betweene ten and eleuen, and she hopes to make amends for all.
30Fal.Ten, and eleuen, saiest thou?
Quic.I forsooth.
Fal.Well, tell her Ile meet her. Let her but thinkOf mans frailtie: Let her iudge what man is,And then thinke of me. And so farwell.
Fal.Well, tell her Ile meet her. Let her but think
Of mans frailtie: Let her iudge what man is,
And then thinke of me. And so farwell.
35Quic.Youle not faile sir?
Exit mistresse Quickly.
Fal.Iwill not faile. Commend me to her.I wonderIheare not of M.Brooke,Ilike hisMony well. By the masse here he is.
Fal.Iwill not faile. Commend me to her.
I wonderIheare not of M.Brooke,Ilike his
Mony well. By the masse here he is.
For.God saue you sir.
40Fal.Welcome good M.Brooke. You come to know how matters goes.
Ford.Thats my comming indeed sir Iohn.
Fal.M.BrookeI will not lye to you sir,I was there at my appointed time.
Fal.M.BrookeI will not lye to you sir,
I was there at my appointed time.
45For.And how sped you sir?
Fal.Verie ilfauouredly sir.
For.Why sir, did she change her determination?
Fal.No M.Brooke, but you shall heare. After we had kissed and imbraced, and as it wereeuenamid the prologue of our incounter,XI. 50who should come, but the iealous knaue her husband, and a rabble of his companions at his heeles, thither prouoked and instigated by his distemper. And what to do thinke you? to search for his wiues loue. Euen so, plainly so.
For.While ye were there?
55Fal.Whilst I was there.
For.And did he search and could not finde you?
Fal.You shall heare sir, as God would haue it,A litle before comes me onePageswife,Giues her intelligence of her husbands60Approach: and by her inuention, andFordswiuesDistraction, conueyd me into a buck-basket.
Fal.You shall heare sir, as God would haue it,
A litle before comes me onePageswife,
Giues her intelligence of her husbands
60Approach: and by her inuention, andFordswiues
Distraction, conueyd me into a buck-basket.
Ford.A buck basket!
Fal.By the Lord a buck-basket, rammed me inWith foule shirts, stokins, greasie napkins,65That M.Brooke, there was a compound of the mostVillanous smel, that euer offended nostrill.Ile tell you M.Brooke, by the Lord for your sakeI suffered three egregious deaths: First to beCrammed like a good bilbo, in the circomference70Of a pack, Hilt to point, heele to head: and then toBe stewed in my owne grease like a Dutch dish:A man of my kidney; by the Lord it was maruell IEscaped suffication; and in the heat of all this,To be throwne into Thames like a horshoo hot:XI. 75MaisterBrooke, thinke of that hissing heate, MaisterBrooke.
Fal.By the Lord a buck-basket, rammed me in
With foule shirts, stokins, greasie napkins,
65That M.Brooke, there was a compound of the most
Villanous smel, that euer offended nostrill.
Ile tell you M.Brooke, by the Lord for your sake
I suffered three egregious deaths: First to be
Crammed like a good bilbo, in the circomference
70Of a pack, Hilt to point, heele to head: and then to
Be stewed in my owne grease like a Dutch dish:
A man of my kidney; by the Lord it was maruell I
Escaped suffication; and in the heat of all this,
To be throwne into Thames like a horshoo hot:
XI. 75MaisterBrooke, thinke of that hissing heate, MaisterBrooke.
Ford.Well sir then my shute is void?Youle vndertake it no more?
Ford.Well sir then my shute is void?
Youle vndertake it no more?
Fal.M.Brooke,Ile be throwne into EtnaAsIhaue bene in the Thames,80EreI thusleaue her:Ihaue receiuedAnother appointment of meeting,Betweene ten and eleuen is the houre.
Fal.M.Brooke,Ile be throwne into Etna
AsIhaue bene in the Thames,
80EreI thusleaue her:Ihaue receiued
Another appointment of meeting,
Betweene ten and eleuen is the houre.
Ford:Why sir, tis almost ten alreadie:
Fal:Is it? why then willIaddresse my selfe85For my appointment: M.Brooke, come to me sooneAt night, and you shall know howIspeed,And the end shall be, you shall enjoy her loue:You shall cuckold Foord: come to mee sooneat atnight.
Fal:Is it? why then willIaddresse my selfe
85For my appointment: M.Brooke, come to me soone
At night, and you shall know howIspeed,
And the end shall be, you shall enjoy her loue:
You shall cuckold Foord: come to mee sooneat atnight.
Exit Falstaffe.
For.Is this a dreame?Is it a vision?90Maister Ford, maister Ford, awake maister Ford,There is a hole made in your best coat M.Ford,And a man shall not onely endure this wrong,But shall stand vnder the taunt of names,Luciferis a good name,Barbasongood: good95Diuels names: but cuckold, wittold, godesoThe diuel himselfe hath not such a name:And they may hang hats here, and napkins hereVpon my homes: wellIle home,Iferit him,And vnlesse the diuel himselfe should aide him.XI. 100Ile search vnpossible places:Ile about it, LeastI repent too late:
For.Is this a dreame?Is it a vision?
90Maister Ford, maister Ford, awake maister Ford,
There is a hole made in your best coat M.Ford,
And a man shall not onely endure this wrong,
But shall stand vnder the taunt of names,
Luciferis a good name,Barbasongood: good
95Diuels names: but cuckold, wittold, godeso
The diuel himselfe hath not such a name:
And they may hang hats here, and napkins here
Vpon my homes: wellIle home,Iferit him,
And vnlesse the diuel himselfe should aide him.
XI. 100Ile search vnpossible places:Ile about it, Least
I repent too late:
Exit omnes.
Fen:Tell me sweet Nan, how doest thou yet resolue,Shall foolishSlenderhaue thee to his wife?Or one as wise as he, the learned Doctor?Shall such as they enjoy thy maiden hart?5Thou knowst thatIhaue alwaies loued thee deare,And thou hast oft times swore the like to me.
Fen:Tell me sweet Nan, how doest thou yet resolue,
Shall foolishSlenderhaue thee to his wife?
Or one as wise as he, the learned Doctor?
Shall such as they enjoy thy maiden hart?
5Thou knowst thatIhaue alwaies loued thee deare,
And thou hast oft times swore the like to me.
An:Good M. Fenton, you may assure your selfeMy hart is setled vpon none but you,Tis as my father and mother please:10Get their consent, you quickly shall haue mine.
An:Good M. Fenton, you may assure your selfe
My hart is setled vpon none but you,
Tis as my father and mother please:
10Get their consent, you quickly shall haue mine.
Fen:Thy father thinks I loue thee for his wealth,Tho I must needs confesse at first that drew me,But since thy vertues wiped that trash away,Iloue theeNan, and so deare is it set,15That whilst I liue, I nere shall thee forget.
Fen:Thy father thinks I loue thee for his wealth,
Tho I must needs confesse at first that drew me,
But since thy vertues wiped that trash away,
Iloue theeNan, and so deare is it set,
15That whilst I liue, I nere shall thee forget.
[Quic:]Godes pitie here comes her father.
Pa.M.FentonI pray what make you here?You know my answere sir, shees not for you:Knowing my vow, to blame to vse me thus.
Pa.M.FentonI pray what make you here?
You know my answere sir, shees not for you:
Knowing my vow, to blame to vse me thus.
20Fen.But heare me speake sir.
Pa.Pray sir get you gon: Come hither daughter,SonneSlenderlet me speak with you.(they whisper.
Pa.Pray sir get you gon: Come hither daughter,
SonneSlenderlet me speak with you.(they whisper.
Quic.Speake to misteris Page.
Fen.Pray misteris Pagelet me haue your consent.
Mis. Pa.Ifaith M.Fentontis as my husband please.
For my part, Ile neither hinder you, nor further you.
Quic.How say you this was my doings?I bid you speake to misteris Page.
Quic.How say you this was my doings?
I bid you speake to misteris Page.
Fen.Here nurse, theres a brace of angels to drink,30Worke what thou canst for me, farwell.(Exit Fen.
Fen.Here nurse, theres a brace of angels to drink,
30Worke what thou canst for me, farwell.(Exit Fen.
Quic.By my troth so I will, good hart.