It was November when we returned from Boston. One morning when the frost sparkled on the dead leaves, which still dropped on the walks, Helen Perkins and I were taking a stroll down Silver Street, behind the Academy, when we saw Dr. White coming down the street in his sulky, rocking from side to side like a cradle. He stopped when he came up to us.
"Do ye sit up late of evenings, Miss Morgeson?"
"No, Doctor; only once a week or so."
"You are a case." And he meditatively pulled his shaggy whiskers with a loose buckskin glove. "There's a ripple coming under your eyes already; what did I tell you? Let me see, did you say you were like father or mother?"
"I look like my father. By the way, Doctor, I am studying my temperament. You will make an infidel of me by your inquiries."
Helen laughed, and staring at him, called him a bear, and told him he ought to live in a hospital, where he would have plenty of sick women to tease.
"I should find few like you there."
He chirruped to his horse, but checked it again, put out his head and called, "Keep your feet warm, wont you? And read Shakespeare."
Helen said that Dr. White had been crossed in love, and long after had married a deformed woman—for science's sake, perhaps. His talent was well known out of Rosville; but he was unambitious and eccentric.
"He is interested in you, Cass, that I see. Are you quite well? What about the change you spoke of?"
"Dr. White has theories; he has attached one to me. Nature has adjusted us nicely, he thinks, with fine strings; if we laugh too much, or cry too long, a knot slips somewhere, which 'all the king's men' can't take up again. Perhaps he judges women by his deformed wife. Men do judge that way, I suppose, and then pride themselves on their experience, commencing their speeches about us, with 'you women.' I'll answer your question, though,—there's a blight creeping over me, or a mildew."
"Is there a worm i' the bud?"
"There may be one at the root; my top is green and flourishing, isn't it?"
"You expect to be in a state of beatitude always. What is a mote of dust in another's eye, in yours is a cataract. You are mad at your blindness, and fight the air because you can't see."
"I feel that I see very little, especially when I understand the clearness of your vision. Your good sense is monstrous."
"It will come right somehow, with you; when twenty years are wasted, maybe," she answered sadly. "There's the first bell! I haven't a word yet of my rhetoric lesson," opening her book and chanting, "'Man, thou pendulum betwixt a smile and tear.' Are you going to Professor Simpson's class?" shutting it again. "I know the new dance"; and she began to execute it on the walk. The door of a house opposite us opened, and a tall youth came out, hat in hand. Without evincing surprise, he advanced toward Helen, gravely dancing the same step; they finished the figure with unmoved countenances. "Come now," I said, taking her arm. He then made a series of bows to us, retreating to the house, with his face toward us, till he reached the door and closed it. He was tall and stout, with red hair, and piercing black eyes, and looked about twenty-three. "Who can that be, Helen?"
"A stranger; probably some young man come to Dr. Price, or a law student. He is new here, at all events. His is not an obscure face; if it had been seen, we should have known it."
"We shall meet him, then."
And we did, the very next day, which was Wednesday, in the hall, where we went to hear the boys declaim. I saw him, sitting by himself in a chair, instead of being with the classes. He was in a brown study, unaware that he was observed; both hands were in his pockets, and his legs were stretched out till his pantaloons had receded up his boots, whose soles he knocked together, oblivious of the noise they made. In spite of his red hair, I thought him handsome, with his Roman nose and firm, clefted chin. Helen and I were opposite him at the lower part of the hall, but he did not see us, till the first boy mounted the platform, and began to spout one of Cicero's orations; then he looked up, and a smile spread over his face. He withdrew his hands from his pockets, updrew his legs, and surveyed the long row of girls opposite, beginning at the head of the hall. As his eyes reached us, a flash of recognition shot across; he raised his hand as if to salute us, and I noticed that it was remarkably handsome, small and white, and ornamented with an old-fashioned ring. It was our habit, after the exercises were over, to gather round Dr. Price, to exchange a few words with him. And this occasion was no exception, for Dr. Price, with his double spectacles, and his silk handkerchief in his hand, was answering our questions, when feeling a touch, he stopped, turned hastily, and saw the stranger.
"Will you be so good as to introduce me to the two young ladies near you? We have met before, but I do not know their names."
"Ah," said the Doctor, taking off his spectacles and wiping them leisurely; then raising his voice, said, "Miss Cassandra Morgeson and Miss Helen Perkins, Mr. Ben Somers, of Belem, requests me to present him to you. I add the information that he is, although a senior, suspended from Harvard College, for participating in a disgraceful fight. It is at your option to notice him."
"If he would be kind enough," said Mr. Somers, moving toward us, "to say that I won it."
"With such hands?" I asked.
"Oh, Somers," interposed the Doctor, "have you much knowledge of theBellevue Pickersgills' pedigree?"
"Certainly; my grandpa, Desmond Pickersgill, although he came to this country as a cabin boy, was brother to an English earl. This is our coat of arms," showing the ring he wore.
"That is a great fact," answered the Doctor.
"This lad," addressing me, "belongs to the family I spoke of to you, a member of which married one of your name."
"Is it possible? I never heard much of my father's family."
"No," said the Doctor dryly; "Somers has no coat of arms. I expected, when I asked you, to hear that the Pickergills' history was at your fingers' ends."
"Only above the second joint of the third finger of my left hand."
I thought Dr. Price was embarrassing.
"Is your family from Troy?" Mr. Somers asked me, in a low tone.
"Do you dislike my name? Is that of Veronica a better one? It is my sister's, and we were named by our great-grandfather, who married a Somers, a hundred years ago."
Miss Black, my Barmouth teacher, came into my mind, for I had said the same thing to her in my first interview; but I was recalled from my wandering by Mr. Somers asking, "Are you looking for your sister? Far be it from me to disparage any act of your great-grandfather's, but I prefer the name of Veronica, and fancy that the person to whom the name belongs has a narrow face, with eyes near together, and a quantity of light hair, which falls straight; that she has long hands; is fond of Gothic architecture, and has a will of her own."
"But never dances," said Helen.
There was a whist party at somebody's house every Wednesday evening. Alice had selected the present for one, and had invited more than the usual number. I asked Mr. Somers to come.
"Dress coat?" he inquired.
"Oh, no."
"Is Rosville highly starched?"
"Oh, no."
"I'll be sure to go into society, then, as long as I can go limp."
He bowed, and, retiring with Dr. Price, walked through the green with him, perusing the ground.
I wore a dark blue silk for the party, with a cinnamon-colored satin stripe through it; a dress that Alice supervised. She fastened a pair of pearl ear-rings in my ears, and told me that I never looked better. It was the first time since grandfather's death that I had worn any dress except a black one. My short sleeves were purled velvet, and a lace tucker was drawn with a blue ribbon across the corsage. As I adjusted my dress, a triumphant sense of beauty possessed me; Cleopatra could not have been more convinced of her charms than I was of mine. "It is a pleasant thing," I thought, "that a woman's mind may come and go by the gate Beautiful."
I went down before Alice, who stayed with the children till she heard the first ring at the door.
"Where is Charles?" I asked, after we had greeted the Bancrofts.
"He will come in time to play, for he likes whist; do you?"
"No."
We did not speak again, but I noticed how gay and agreeable she was through the evening.
Ben Somers came early, suffering from a fit of nonchalance, to the disgust of several young men, standard beaux, who regarded him with an impertinence which delighted him.
"Here comes," he said, "'a daughter of the gods, divinely tall, and most divinely fair.'" Meaning me, which deepened their disgust.
"Come to the piano," I begged. Helen was there, but his eyes did not rest upon her, but upon Charles, whom I saw for the first time that evening. I introduced them.
"Cassandra," said Charles, "let us make up a game in the East Room.Miss Helen, will you join? Mr. Somers, will you take a hand?"
"Certainly. Miss Morgeson, will you be my partner?"
"Will you play with me then, Miss Helen?" asked Charles.
"If you desire it," she answered, rather ungraciously.
We took our seats in the East Room, which opened from the parlor, at a little table by the chimney. The astral lamp from the center table in the parlor shone into our room, intercepting any view toward us. I sat by the window, the curtain of which was drawn apart, and the shutters unclosed. A few yellow leaves stuck against the panes, unstirred by the melancholy wind, which sighed through the crevices. Charles was at my right hand, by the mantel; the light from a candelabra illuminated him and Mr. Somers, while Helen and I were in shadow. Mr. Somers dealt the cards, and we began the game.
"We shall beat you," he said to Charles.
"Not unless Cassandra has improved," he replied.
I promised to do my best, but soon grew weary, and we were beaten. To my surprise Mr. Somers was vexed. His imperturbable manner vanished; he sat erect, his eyes sparkled, and he told me I must play better. We began another game, which he was confident of winning. I kept my eyes on the cards, and there was silence till Mr. Somers exclaimed, "Don't trump now, Mr. Morgeson."
I watched the table for his card to fall, but as it did not, looked at him for the reason. He had forgotten us, and was lost in contemplation, with his eyes fixed upon me. The recognition of some impulse had mastered him. I must prevent Helen and Mr. Somers perceiving this! I shuffled the cards noisily, rustled my dress, looked right and left for my handkerchief to break the spell.
"How the wind moans!" said Helen. I understood her tone; she understood him, as I did.
"IlikeRosville, Miss Perkins," cried Mr. Somers.
"Do you?" said Charles, clicking down his card, as though his turn had just come. "I must trump this in spite of you."
"I am tired of playing," I said.
"We are beaten, Miss Perkins," said Mr. Somers, rising. "Bring it here," to a servant going by with a tray and glasses. He drank a goblet of wine, before he offered us any. "Now give us music!" offering his arm to Helen, and taking her away. Charles and I remained at the table. "By the way," he said abruptly, "I have forgotten to give you a letter from your father—here it is." I stretched my hand across the table, he retained it. I rose from my chair and stood beside him.
"Cassandra," he said at last, growing ashy pale, "is there any other world than this we are in now?"
I raised my eyes, and saw my own pale face in the glass over the mantel above his head.
"What do you see?" he asked, starting up.
I pointed to the glass.
"I begin to think," I said, "there is another world, one peopled with creatures like those we see there. What are they—base, false, cowardly?"
"Cowardly," he muttered, "will you make me crush you? Can we lie to each other? Look!"
He turned me from the glass.
At that moment Helen struck a crashing blow on the piano keys.
"Charles, give me—give me the letter."
He looked vaguely round the floor, it was crumpled in his hand. A side door shut, and I stood alone. Pinching my cheeks and wiping my lips to force the color back, I returned to the parlor. Mr. Somers came to me with a glass of wine. It was full, and some spilled on my dress; he made no offer to wipe it off. After that, he devoted himself to Alice; talked lightly with her, observing her closely. I made the tour of the party, overlooked the whist players, chatted with the talkers, finally taking a seat, where Helen joined me.
"Now I am going," she said.
"Why don't they all go?"
"Look at Mr. Somers playing the agreeable to Mrs. Morgeson. What kind of a woman is she, Cass?"
"Go and learn for yourself."
"I fear I have not the gift for divining people that you have."
"Do you hear the wind moan now, Helen?"
She turned crimson, and said: "Let us go to the window; I think it rains."
We stood within the curtains, and listened to its pattering on the floor of the piazza, and trickling down the glass like tears.
"Helen, if one could weep as quietly as this rain falls, and keep the face as unwrinkled as the glass, it would be pretty to weep."
"Is it hard for you to cry?"
"I can't remember; it is so long since."
My ear caught the sound of a step on the piazza.
"Who is that?" she asked.
"It is a man."
"Morgeson?"
"Morgeson."
"Cassandra?"
"Cassandra."
"I can cry," and Helen covered her face.
"Cry away, then. Give me a fierce shower of tears, with thunder and lightning between, if you like. Don't sop, and soak, and drizzle."
The step came close to the window; it was not in harmony with the rain and darkness, but with the hot beating of my heart.
"We are breaking up," called Mr. Somers. "Mr. Bancroft's carriage is ready, I am bid to say. It is inky outside."
"Yes," said Helen, "I am quite ready."
"There are a dozen chaises in the yard; Mr. Morgeson is there, and lanterns. He is at home among horses, I believe."
"Do you like horses?" I asked.
"Not in the least."
Somebody called Helen.
"Good-night, Cass."
"Good-night; keep out of the rain."
"Good-night, Miss Morgeson," said Mr. Somers, when she had gone. "Good-night and good-morning. My acquaintance with you has begun; it will never end. You thought me a boy; I am just your age."
"'Never,' is a long word, Boy Somers."
"It is."
It rained all night; I wearied of its monotonous fall; if I slept it turned into a voice which was pent up in a letter which I could not open.
Alice was unusually gay the next morning. She praised Mr. Somers, and could not imagine what had been the cause of his being expelled from the college.
"Don't you like him, Cassandra? His family are unexceptionable."
"So is he, I believe, except in his fists. But how did you learn that his family were unexceptionable?"
"Charles inquired in Boston, and heard that his mother was one of the greatest heiresses in Belem."
"Did you enjoy last night, Alice?"
"Yes, I am fond of whist parties. You noticed that Charles has not a remarkable talent that way. Did he speak to Mr. Somers at all, while you played? I was too busy to come in. By the by, I must go now, and see if the parlor is in order."
I followed her with my bonnet in hand, for it was school time. She looked about, then went up to the mantel, and taking out the candle-ends from the candelabra, looked in the glass, and said, "I am a fright this morning."
"Am I?" I asked over her shoulder, for I was nearly a head taller.
"No; you are too young to look jaded in the morning. Your eyes are as clear as a child's; and how blue they are."
"Mild and babyish-like, are they not? almost green with innocence. ButCharles has devilish eyes, don't you think so?"
She turned with her mouth open in astonishment, and her hand full of candle-ends. "Cassandra Morgeson, are you mad?"
"Good-by," Alice.
I only saw Mr. Somers at prayers during the following fortnight. But in that short time he made many acquaintances. Helen told me that he had decided to study law with Judge Ryder, and that he had asked her how long I expected to stay in Rosville. Nothing eccentric had been discovered in his behavior; but she was convinced that he would astonish us before long. The first Wednesday after our party, I was absent from the elocutionary exercise; but the second came round, and I took my place as usual beside Helen.
"This will be Mr. Somers's first and last appearance on our stage," she whispered; "some whim prompts him to come to-day."
He delighted Dr. Price by translating from the Agamemnon of Æschylus.
"Re-enter Clytemnestra."
"Men! Citizens! ye Elders of Argos present here."
"Who was Agamemnon?" I whispered.
"He gave Cassandra her last ride."
"Did he upset her?"
"Study Greek and you will know," she replied, frowning at him as he stepped from the platform.
We went to walk in Silver Street after school, and he joined us.
"Do you read Greek?" he asked her.
"My father is a Greek Professor, and he made me study it when I was a little girl."
"The name of Cassandra inspired me to rub up my knowledge of the tragedies."
Helen and he had a Homeric talk, while I silently walked by them, thinking that Cassandra would have suited Veronica, and that no name suited me. From some reason I did not discover, Helen began to loiter, pretending that she wanted to have a look at the clouds. But when I looked back her head was bent to the ground. Mr. Somers offered to carry my books.
"Carry Helen's; she is smaller than I am."
"Confound Helen!"
"And the books, too, if you like. Helen," I called, "why do you loiter? It is time for dinner. We must go home."
"I am quite ready for my dinner," she replied. "Wont you come to our house this afternoon and take tea with me?"
"Oh, Miss Perkins, do invite me also," he begged. "I want to bringTennyson to you."
"Is he related to Agamemnon?" I asked.
"I'll ask Mrs. Bancroft if I may invite you," said Helen, "if you are sure that you would like a stupid, family tea."
"I am positive that I should. Tennyson, though an eminent Grecian, is not related to the person you spoke of."
We parted at the foot of Silver Street, with the expectation of meeting before night. Helen sent me word not to fail, as she had sent for Mr. Somers, and that Mrs. Bancroft was already preparing tea. Alice drove down there with me, to call on Mrs. Bancroft. The two ladies compared children, and by the time Alice was ready to go, Mr. Somers arrived. She staid a few moments more to chat with him, and when she went at last, told me Charles would come for me on his way from the mills.
My eyes wandered in the direction of Mr. Somers. His said: "No; go home withme."
"Very well, Alice, whatever is convenient," I answered quietly.
Mrs. Bancroft was a motherly woman, and Mr. Bancroft was a fatherly man. Five children sat round the tea-table, distinguished by the Bancroft nose. Helen and I were seated each side of Mr. Somers. The table reminded me of our table at Surrey, it was so covered with vast viands; but the dishes were alike, and handsome. I wondered whether mother had bought the new china in Boston, and, buttering my second hot biscuit, I thought of Veronica; then, of the sea. How did it look? Hark! Its voice was in my ear! Could I climb the housetop? Might I not see the mist which hung over our low-lying sea by Surrey?
"Will you take quince or apple jelly, Miss Morgeson?" asked Mrs.Bancroft.
"Apple, if you please."
"Do you write that sister of yours often?" asked Mr. Somers, as he passed me the apple jelly.
"I never write her."
"Will you tell me something of Surrey?"
"Mr. Somers, shall I give you a cup-custard?"
"No, thank you, mam."
"Surrey is lonely, evangelical, primitive."
"Belem is dreary too; most of it goes to Boston, or to India."
"Does it smell of sandal wood? And has everybody tea-caddies?VideIndian stories."
"We have a crate of queer things from Calcutta."
"Are you going to study law with Judge Ryder?" Mr. Bancroft inquired.
"I think so."
Then Helen pushed back her chair; and Mrs. Bancroft stood in her place long enough for us to reach the parlor door.
"And I must go to the office," Mr. Bancroft said, so we had the parlor to ourselves; but Mr. Somers did not read from Tennyson—for he had forgotten to bring the book.
"Now for a compact," he said. "I must be called Ben Somers by you; and may I call you Cassandra, and Helen?"
"Yes," we answered.
"Let us be confidential."
And we were. I was drawn into speaking of my life at home; my remarks, made without premeditation, proved that I possessed ideas and feelings hitherto unknown. I felt no shyness before him, and, although I saw his interest in me, no agitation. Helen was also moved to tell us that she was engaged. She rolled up her sleeve to show us a bracelet, printed in ink on her arm, with the initials, "L.N." Those of her cousin, she said; he was a sailor, and some time, she supposed, they would marry.
"How could you consent to have your arm so defaced?" I asked.
Her eyes flashed as she replied that she had not looked upon the mark in that light before.
"We may all be tattooed," said Mr. Somers.
"I am," I thought.
He told us in his turn that he should be rich. "There are five of us. My mother's fortune cuts up rather; but it wont be divided till the youngest is twenty-one. I assure you we are impatient."
"Some one of your family happened to marry a Morgeson," I here remarked.
"I wrote father about that; he must know the circumstance, though he never has a chance to expatiate onhisside of the house. Poor man! he has the gout, and passes his time in experiments with temperature and diet. Will you ever visit Belem? I shall certainly go to Surrey."
Mrs. Bancroft interrupted us, and soon after Mr. Bancroft arrived, redolent of smoke. Ten o'clock came, and nobody for me. At half-past ten I put on my shawl to walk home, when Charles drove up to the gate.
"Say," said Ben Somers, in a low voice, "that you will walk with me."
"I am not too late, Cassandra?" called Charles, coming up the steps, bowing to all. "I am glad you are ready; Nell is impatient."
"My dear," asked Mrs. Bancroft, "how dare you trust to the mercy of such vicious beasts as Mr. Morgeson loves to drive?"
"Come," he said, touching my arm.
"Wont you walk?" said Mr. Somers aloud.
"Walk?" echoed Charles. "No."
"I followed him. Nell had already bitten off a paling; and as he untied her he boxed her ears. She did not jump, for she knew the hand that struck her. We rushed swiftly away through the long shadows of the moonlight.
"Charles, what did Ben Somers do at Harvard?"
"He was in a night-fight, and he sometimes got drunk; it is a family habit."
"Pray, why did you inquire about him?"
"From the interest I feel in him."
"You like him, then?"
"I detest him; do you too?"
"I like him."
He bent down and looked into my face.
"You are telling me a lie."
I made no reply.
"I should beg your pardon, but I will not. I am going away to-morrow.Give me your hand, and say farewell."
"Farewell then. Is Alice up? I see a light moving in her chamber."
"If you do, she is not waiting for me."
"I have been making coffee for you," she said, as soon as we entered, "in my French biggin. I have packed your valise too, Charles, and have ordered your breakfast. Cassy, we will breakfast after he has gone."
"I have to sit up to write, Alice. See that the horses are exercised. Ask Parker to drive them. The men will be here to-morrow to enlarge the conservatory."
"Yes."
"I shall get a better stock while I am away."
I sipped my coffee; Alice yawned fearfully, with her hand on the coffee-pot, ready to pour again. "Why, Charles," she exclaimed, "there is no cream in your coffee."
"No, there isn't," looking into his cup; "nor sugar."
She threw a lump at him, which he caught, laughing one of his abrupt laughs.
"How extraordinarily affectionate," I thought, but somehow it pleased me.
"Why do you tempt me, Alice?" I said. "Doctor White says I must not drink coffee."
"Tempted!" Charles exclaimed. "Cassandra is never tempted. What she does, she does because she will. Don't worry yourself, Alice, about her."
"Because I will," I repeated.
A nervous foreboding possessed me, the moment I entered my room. Was it the coffee? Twice in the night I lighted my candle, looked at the little French clock on the mantel, and under the bed. At last I fell asleep, but starting violently from its oblivious dark, to become aware that the darkness of the room was sentient. A breath passed over my face; but I caught no sound, though I held my breath to listen for one. I moved my hands before me then, but they came in contact with nothing. My forebodings passed away, and I slept till Alice sent for me. I sat up in bed philosophizing, and examining the position of the chairs, the tops of the tables and the door. No change had taken place. But my eyes happened to fall on my handkerchief, which had dropped by the bedside. I picked it up; there was a dusty footprint upon it. The bell rang, and, throwing it under the bed, I dressed and ran down. Alice was taking breakfast, tired of waiting. She said the baby had cried till after midnight, and that Charles never came to bed at all.
"Do eat this hot toast; it has just come in."
"I shall stay at home to-day, Alice, I feel chilly; is it cold?"
"You must have a fire in your room."
"Let me have one to day; I should like to sit there."
She gave orders for the fire, and went herself to see that it burned. Soon I was sitting before it, my feet on a stool, and a poker in my hand with which I smashed the smoky lumps of coal which smoldered in the grate.
I stayed there all day, looking out of the window when I heard the horses tramp in the stable or a step on the piazza. It was a dull November day; the atmosphere was glutinous with a pale mist, which made the leaves stick together in bunches, helplessly cumbering the ground. The boughs dropped silent tears over them, under the gray, pitiless sky. I read Byron, which was the only book in the house, I believe; for neither Charles nor Alice read anything except the newspapers. I looked over my small stores also, and my papers, which consisted of father's letters. As I was sorting them the thought struck me of writing to Veronica, and I arranged my portfolio, pulled the table nearer the fire, and began, "Dear Veronica." After writing this a few times I gave it up, cut off the "Dear Veronicas," and made lamplighters of the paper.
Ben Somers called at noon, to inquire the reason of my absence from school, and left a book for me. It was the poems he had spoken of. I lighted on "Fatima," read it and copied it. In the afternoon Alice came up with the baby.
"Let me braid your hair," she said, "in a different fashion."
I assented; the baby was bestowed on a rug, and a chair was put before the glass, that I might witness the operation.
"What magnificent hair!" she said, as she unrolled it. "It is a yard long."
"It is a regular mane, isn't it?"
She began combing it; the baby crawled under the bed, and coming out with the handkerchief in its hand, crept up to her, trying to make her take it. She had combed my hair over my face, but I saw it.
"Do I hurt you, Cass?"
"No, do I ever hurt you, Alice?" And I divided the long bands over my eyes, and looked up at her.
"Were any of your family ever cracked? I have long suspected you of a disposition that way."
"The child is choking itself with that handkerchief."
She took it, and, tossing it on the bed, gave Byron to the child to play with, and went on with the hair-dressing.
"There, now," she said, "is not this a masterpiece of barber's craft?Look at the back of your head, and then come down."
"Yes, I will, for I feel better."
When I returned to my room again it was like meeting a confidential friend.
A few days after, father came to Rosville. I invited Ben Somers and Helen to spend with us the only evening he stayed. After they were gone, we sat in my room and talked over many matters. His spirits were not as buoyant as usual, and I felt an undefinable anxiety which I did not mention. When he said that mother was more abstracted than ever, he sighed. I asked him how many years he thought I must waste; eighteen had already gone for nothing.
"You must go in the way ordained, waste or no waste. I have tried to make your life differ from mine at the same age, for you are like me, and I wanted to see the result."
"We shall see."
"Veronica has been let alone—is master of herself, except when in a rage. She is an extraordinary girl; independent of kith and kin, and everything else. I assure you, Miss Cassy, she is very good."
"Does she ever ask for me?"
"I never heard her mention your name but once. She asked one day what your teachers were. You do not love each other, I suppose. What hatred there is between near relations! Bitter, bitter," he said calmly, as if he thought of some object incapable of the hatred he spoke of.
"That's Grandfather John Morgeson you think of. I do not hateVeronica. I think I love her; at least she interests me."
"The same creeping in the blood of us all, Cassy. I did not like my father; but thank God I behaved decently toward him. It must be late."
As he kissed me, and we stood face to face, I recognized my likeness to him. "He has had experiences that I shall never know," I thought. "Why should I tell him mine?" But an overpowering impulse seized me to speak to him of Charles. "Father," and I put my hands on his shoulders. He set his candle back on the table.
"You look hungry-eyed, eager. What is it? Are you well?"
"No."
"You are faded a little. Your face has lost its firmness."
My impulse died a sudden death. I buried it with a swallow.
"Do you think so?"
"You are all alike. Let me tell you something; don't get sick. If you are, hide it as much as possible. Men do not like sick women."
"I'll end this fading business as soon as possible. Itislate.Good-night, dad."
I examined my face as soon as he closed the door. Therewasa change. Not the change from health to disease, but an expression lurking there—a reflection of some unrevealed secret.
The next morning was passed with Alice and the children. He was pleased with her prettiness and sprightliness, and his gentle manner and disposition pleased her. She asked him to let me spend another year in Rosville; but he said that I must return to Surrey, and that he never would allow me to leave home again.
"She will marry."
"Not early."
"Never, I believe," I said.
"It will be as well."
"Yes," she replied; "if you leave her a fortune, or teach her some trade, that will give her some importance in the world."
Her wisdom astonished me.
He was sorry, he said, that Morgeson was not at home. When he mentioned him I looked out of the window, and saw Ben Somers coming into the yard. As he entered, Alice gave him a meaning look, which was not lost upon me, and which induced him to observe Ben closely.
"The train is nearly due, Mr. Morgeson; shall I walk to the station with you?"
"Certainly; come, Cassy."
On the way he touched me, making a sign toward Ben. I shook my head, which appeared satisfactory. The rest of the time was consumed in the discussion of the relationship, which ended in an invitation, as I expected, to Surrey.
"The governor is not worried, is he?" asked Ben, on our way back.
"No more than I am."
"What a pity Morgeson was not at home!"
"Why a pity?"
"I should like to see them together, they are such antipodal men. Does your father know him well?"
"Does any one know him well?"
"Yes, I know him. I do not like him. He is a savage, living by his instincts, with one element of civilization—he loves Beauty—beauty like yours." He turned pale when he said this, but went on. "He has never seen a woman like you; who has? Forgive me, but I watch you both."
"I have perceived it."
"I suppose so, and it makes you more willful."
"You said you were but a boy."
"Yes, but I have had one or two manly wickednesses. I have done with them, I hope."
"So that you have leisure to pry into those of others."
"You do not forgive me."
"I like you; but what can I do?"
"Keep up your sophistry to the last."
Alice and I were preparing for the first ball, when Charles came home, having been absent several weeks. The conservatory was finished, and looked well, jutting from the garden-room, which we used often, since the weather had been cold. The flowers and plants it was filled with were more fragrant and beautiful than rare. I never saw him look so genial as when he inspected it with us. Alice was in good-humor, also, for he had brought her a set of jewels.
"Is it not her birthday," he said, when he gave her the jewel case, "or something, that I can give Cassandra this?" taking a little box from his pocket.
"Oh yes," said Alice; "show it to us."
"Will you have it?" he asked me.
I held out my hand, and he put on my third finger a diamond ring, which was like a star.
"How well it looks on your long hand!" said Alice.
"What unsuspected tastes I find I have!" I answered. "I am passionately fond of rings; this delights me."
His swarthy face flushed with pleasure at my words; but, according to his wont, he said nothing.
A few days after his return, a man came into the yard, leading a powerful horse chafing in his halter, which he took to the stable. Charles asked me to look at a new purchase he had made in Pennsylvania. The strange man was lounging about the stalls when we went in, inspecting the horses with a knowing air.
"I declare, sir," said Jesse, "I am afeared to tackle this ere animal; he's a reglar brute, and no mistake."
"He'll be tame enough; he is but four years old."
"He's never been in a carriage," said the man.
"Lead him out, will you?"
The man obeyed. The horse was a fine creature, black, and thick-maned; but the whites of his eyes were not clear; they were streaked with red, and he attempted continually to turn his nostrils inside out. Altogether, I thought him diabolical.
"What's the matter with his eyes?" Charles asked.
"I think, sir," the man replied, "as how they got inflamed like, in the boat coming from New York. It's nothing perticalar, I believe."
Alice declared it was too bad, when she heard there was another horse in the stable. She would not look at him, and said she would never ride with Charles when he drove him.
I had been taking lessons of Professor Simpson, and was ready for the ball. All the girls from the Academy were going in white, except Helen, who was to wear pink silk. It was to be a military ball, and strangers were expected. Ben Somers, and our Rosville beaux, were of course to be there, all in uniform, except Ben, who preferred the dress of a gentleman, he said,—silk stockings, pumps, and a white cravat.
We were dressed by nine o'clock, Alice in black velvet, with a wreath of flowers in her black hair—I in a light blue velvet bodice, and white silk skirt. We were waiting for the ball hack to come for us, as that was the custom, for no one owned a close coach in Rosville, when Charles brought in some splendid scarlet flowers which he gave to Alice.
"Where are Cassandra's?"
"She does not care for flowers; besides, she would throw them away on her first partner."
He put us in the coach, and went back. I was glad he did not come with us, and gave myself up to the excitement of my first ball. Alice was surrounded by her acquaintances at once, and I was asked to dance a quadrille by Mr. Parker, whose gloves were much too large, and whose white trowsers were much too long.
"I kept the flowers you gave me," he said in a breathless way.
"Oh yes, I remember; mustn't we forward now?"
"Mr. Morgeson's very fond of flowers."
"So he is. How de do, Miss Ryder."
Miss Ryder, my vis-à-vis, bowed, looking scornfully at my partner, who was only a clerk, while hers was a law student. I immediately turned to Mr. Parker with affable smiles, and went into a kind of dumb-show of conversation, which made him warm and uncomfortable. Mrs. Judge Ryder sailed by on Ben Somers's arm.
"Put your shoulders down," she whispered to her daughter, who had poked one very much out of her dress. "My love," she spoke aloud, "you mustn't danceeveryset."
"No, ma," and she passed on, Ben giving a faint cough, for my benefit. We could not find Alice after the dance was over. A brass band alternated with the quadrille band, and it played so loudly that we had to talk at the top of our voices to be heard. Mine soon gave out, and I begged Mr. Parker to bring Helen, for I had not yet seen her. She was with Dr. White, who had dropped in to see the miserable spectacle. The air, he said, shaking his finger at me, was already miasmal; it would be infernal by midnight Christians ought not to be there. "Go home early, Miss. Your mother never went to a ball, I'll warrant."
"We are wiser than our mothers."
"And wickeder; you will send for me to-morrow."
"Your Valenciennes lace excruciates the Ryders," said Helen. "I was standing near Mrs. Judge Ryder and the girls just now. 'Did you ever see such an upstart?' And, 'What an extravagant dress she has on—it is ridiculous,' Josephine Ryder said. When Ben Somers heard this attack on you, he told them that your lace was an heirloom. Here he is." Mr. Parker took her away, and Ben Somers went in pursuit of a seat. The quadrille was over, I was engaged for the next, and he had not come back. I saw nothing of him till the country dance before supper. He was at the foot of the long line, opposite a pretty girl in blue, looking very solemn and stately. I took off the glove from my hand which wore the new diamond, and held it up, expecting him to look my way soon. Its flash caught his eyes, as they roamed up and down, and, as I expected, he left his place and came up behind me.
"Where did you get that ring?" wiping his face with his handkerchief.
"Ask Alice."
"You are politic."
"Handsome, isn't it?"
"And valuable; it cost as much as the new horse."
"Have you made a memorandum of it?"
"Destiny has brilliant spokes in her wheel, hasn't she?"
"Is that from the Greek tragedies?"
"To your places, gentlemen," the floor-manager called, and the band struck up the Fisher's Hornpipe. At supper, I saw Ben Somers, still with the pretty girl in blue; but he came to my chair and asked me if I did not think she was a pretty toy for a man to play with.
"How much wine have you drunk? Enough to do justice to the family annals?"
"Really, you have been well informed. No, I havenotdrunk enough for that; but Mrs. Ryder has sent her virgins home with me. I am afraid their lamps are upset again. I drink nothing after to-night. You shall not ask again, 'How much?'"
My fire was out when I reached home. My head was burning and aching. I was too tired to untwist my hair, and I pulled and dragged at my dress, which seemed to have a hundred fastenings. Creeping into bed, I perceived the odor of flowers, and looking at my table discovered a bunch of white roses.
"Roses are nonsense, and life is nonsense," I thought.
When I opened my eyes, Alice was standing by the bed, with a glass of roses in her hand.
"Charles put these roses here, hey?"
"I suppose so; throw them out of the window, and me too; my head is splitting."
"To make amends for not giving you any last night," she went on; "he is quite childish."
"Can't you unbraid my hair, it hurts my head so?"
She felt my hands. I was in a fever, she said, and ran down forCharles. "Cass is sick, in spite of your white roses."
"The devil take the roses. Can't you get up, Cassandra?"
"Not now. Go away, will you?"
He left the room abruptly. Alice loosened my hair, bound my head, and poured cologne-water over me, lamenting all the while that she had not brought me home; and then went down for some tea, presently returning to say that Charles had been for Dr. White, who said he would not come. But he was there shortly afterward. By night I was well again.
Dr. Price gave us a lecture on late hours that week, requesting us, if we had any interest in our education, or expected him to have any, to abstain from balls.
Ben Somers disappeared; no one knew where he had gone. The Ryders were in consternation, for he was an intimate of the family, since he had gone into Judge Ryder's office, six weeks before. He returned, however, with a new overcoat trimmed with fur, the same as that with which my new cloak was trimmed. A great snowstorm began the day of his return, and blocked us indoors for several days, and we had permanent sleighing afterward.
In January it was proposed that we should go to the Swan Tavern, ten miles out of Rosville.
I had made good resolutions since the ball, and declined going to the second, which came off three weeks afterward. The truth was, I did not enjoy the first; but I preferred to give my decision a virtuous tinge. I also determined to leave the Academy when the spring came, for I felt no longer a schoolgirl. But for Helen, I could not have remained as I did. She stayed for pastime now, she confessed, it was so dull at home; her father was wrapped in his studies, and she had a stepmother. I resolved again that I would study more, and was translating, in view of this resolve, "Corinne," with Miss Prior, and singing sedulously with Mrs. Lane, and had begun a course of reading with Dr. Price.
I refused two invitations to join the sleighing party, and on the night it was to be had prepared to pass the evening in my own room with Oswald and Corinne. Before the fire, with lighted candles, I heard a ringing of bells in the yard and a stamping of feet on the piazza. Alice sent up for me. I found Ben Somers with her, who begged me to take a seat in his sleigh. Helen was there, and Amelia Bancroft. Alice applauded me for refusing him; but when he whispered in my ear that he had been to Surrey I changed my mind. She assisted me with cheerful alacrity to put on a merino dress, its color was purple;—a color I hate now, and never wear—and wrapped me warmly. Charles appeared before we started. "Are you really going?" he asked, in a tone of displeasure.
"She is really going," Ben answered for me. "Mr. and Mrs. Bancroft are going," Helen said. "Why not drive out with Mrs. Morgeson?"
"The night is splendid," Ben remarked.
"Wont you come?" I asked.
"If Alice wishes it. Will you go?" he asked her.
"Would you?" she inquired of all, and all replied, "Yes."
We started in advance. Helen and Amelia were packed on the back seat, in a buffalo robe, while Ben and I sat in the shelter of the driver's box, wrapped in another. It was moonlight, and as we passed the sleighs of the rest of the party, exchanging greetings, we grew very merry. Ben, voluble and airy, enlivened us by his high spirits.
We were drinking mulled wine round the long pine dinner-table of the Swan, when Charles and Alice arrived. There were about thirty in the room, which was lighted by tallow candles. When he entered, it seemed as if the candles suddenly required snuffing, and we ceased to laugh. All spoke to him with respect, but with an inflection of the voice which denoted that he was not one of us. As he carelessly passed round the table all made a movement as he approached, scraping their chairs on the bare floor, moving their glass of mulled wine, or altering the position of their arms or legs. An indescribable appreciation of the impression which he made upon others filled my heart. His isolation from the sympathy of every person there gave me a pain and a pity, and for the first time I felt a pang of tenderness, and a throe of pride for him. But Alice, upon whom he never made any impression, saw nothing of this; her gayety soon removed the stiffness and silence he created. The party grew noisy again, except Ben, who had not broken the silence into which he fell as soon as he saw Charles. The mulled wine stood before him untouched. I moved to the corner of the table to allow room for the chair which Charles was turning toward me. Ben ordered more wine, and sent a glass full to him. Taking it from the boy who brought it, I gave it to him. "Drink," I said. My voice sounded strangely. Barely tasting it, he set the glass down, and leaning his arm on the table, turned his face to me, shielding it with his hand from the gaze of those about us. I pushed away a candle that flared in our faces.
"You never drink wine?"
"No, Cassandra."
"How was the ride down?"
"Delightful."
"What about the new horse?"
"He is an awful brute."
"When shall we have a ride with him?"
"When you please."
The boy came in to say would we please go to the parlor; our room was wanted for supper. An immediate rush, with loud laughing, took place, for the parlor fire; but Charles and I did not move. I was busy remaking the bow of my purple silk cravat.
"'I drink the cup of a costly death,'" Ben hummed, as he sauntered along by us, hands in his pockets—the last in the room, except us two.
"Indeed, Somers; perhaps you would like this too." And Charles offered him his glass of wine.
Ben took it, and with his thumb and finger snapped it off at the stem, tipping the wine over Charles's hand.
I saw it staining his wristband, like blood. He did not stir, but a slight smile traveled swiftly over his face.
"I know Veronica," said Ben, looking at me. "Has this man seenher?"
His voice crushed me. What a barrier his expression of contempt made between her and me!
Withal, I felt a humiliating sense of defeat.
Charles read me.
As he folded his wristband under his sleeve, carefully and slowly, his slender fingers did not tremble with the desire that possessed him, which I saw in his terrible eyes as plainly as if he had spoken, "I would kill him."
They looked at my hands, for I was wringing them, and a groan burst from me.
"Somers," said Charles, rising and touching his shoulder, "behave like a man, and let us alone; I love this girl."
His pale face changed, his eyes softened, and mine filled with tears.
"Cassandra," urged Ben, in a gentle voice, "come with me; come away."
"Fool," I answered; "leavemealone, and go."
He hesitated, moved toward the door, and again urged me to come.
"Go! go!" stamping my foot, and the door closed without a sound.
For a moment we stood, transfixed in an isolation which separated us from all the world beside.
"Now Charles, we"—a convulsive sob choked me, a strange taste filled my mouth, I put my handkerchief to my lips and wiped away streaks of blood. I showed it to him.
"It is nothing, by God!" snatching the handkerchief. "Take mine—oh, my dear—"
I tried to laugh, and muttered the imperative fact of joining the rest.
"Be quiet, Cassandra."
He opened the window, took a handful of snow from the sill and put it to my mouth. It revived me.
"Do you hear, Charles? Never say those frightful words again. Never, never."
"Never, if it must be so."
He touched my hand; I opened it; his closed over mine.
"Go, now," he said, and springing to the window, threw it up, and jumped out. The boy came in with a tablecloth on his arm, and behind him Ben.
"Glass broken, sir."
"Put it in the bill."
He offered me his arm, which I was glad to take.
"Where is Charles?" Alice asked, when we went in.
"He has just left us," Ben answered; "looking after his horses, probably."
"Of course," she replied. "You look blue, Cass. Here, take my chair by the fire; we are going to dance a Virginia reel."
I accepted her offer, and was thankful that the dance would take them away. I wanted to be alone forever. Helen glided behind my chair, and laid her hand on my shoulder; I shook it off.
"What is the matter, Cass?"
"I am going away from Char—school."
"We are all going; but not to-night."
"I am going to-night."
"So you shall, dear; but wait till after supper."
"Do you think, Helen, that I shall ever have consumption?" fumbling for my handkerchief, forgetting in whose possession it was. Charles came in at that instant, and I remembered that he had it.
"What on earth has happened to you? Oh!" she exclaimed, as I looked at her. "You were out there with Morgeson and Ben Somers," she whispered; "something has occurred; what is it?"
"You shall never know; never—never—never."
"Cassandra, that man is a devil."
"I like devils."
"The same blood rages in both of you."
"It's mulled wine,—thick and stupid."
"Nonsense."
"Will there be tea, at supper?"
"You shall have some."
"Ask Ben to order it."
"Heaven forgive us all, Cassandra!"
"Remember the tea."
Charles stood near his wife; wherever she moved afterwards he moved. I saw it, and felt that it was the shadow of something which would follow.
At last the time came for us to return. Helen had plied me with tea, and was otherwise watchful, but scarcely spoke.
"It is an age," I said, "since I left Rosville."
She raised her eyebrows merely, and asked me if I would have more tea.
"In my room," I thought, "I shall find myself again." And as I opened my door, it welcomed me with so friendly and silent an aspect, that I betrayed my grief, and it covered my misery as with a cloak.