['Last night even the postprandial conversation of some well-dressed members of the audience failed to neutralise the effect of the music, though they did their best.'—TheTimes.]
A SUGGESTION
[Addressed to the lady or gentleman who had abstracted two pictures from the Royal Academy.]
THE MODEL MOTORIST
[Sir Thomas Lipton, when stopped by the Chertsey police for 'scorching,' remarked: 'You have your duty to do, boys. I have always found you to be correct. I'm sorry.']
THE PARISH PUMP
(A BALLADE)
['The parish pump is the best friend of the teacher of history, and the man who, on the basis of Imperialism, sneers at the parish pump, does not know what he is talking about.'—CanonMasterman.]
POLICE COURT SENSE
['The evidence that I heard totally failed to satisfy me that he was drunk at all in what, for want of a better definition of the term, I may call the Police Court sense.'—Mr.Chester Jones.]
CLUB CANTOS
CANTO I
THE ATHENÆUM
CANTO II
WHITE'S
CANTO III
THE BACHELORS'
CANTO IV
THE GARRICK
CANTO V
THE AUTOMOBILE
CANTO VI
BROOKS'S
CANTO VII
'THE BEEFSTEAK'
CANTO VIII
THE TRAVELLERS'
CANTO IX
'THE BATH'
SONGS IN SEASON
NEW YEAR'S EVE
FEBRUARY
['Really, there must be something rather fine in the English character that enables it to triumph over the English climate.'—ThePall Mall Gazette.]
SPRING
SPRING-CLEANING
['The only way to get workmen out of the house is to move in oneself.'—TheBromide's Handbook.]