MALATESTEThese; you must stick,As here and there spring weeds in banks of flowers,Spies amongst the people, who shall lay their earsTo every mouth, and seal to you their whispering.
QUEENSo.
MALATESTE'Tis a plummet to sound Spanish heartsHow deeply they are yours. Besides a guesse <29>Is hereby made of any factionThat shall combine against you, which the King seeing,If then he will not rouse him like a dragonTo guard his golden fleece, and rid his harlotAnd her base bastard hence, either by death,Or in some traps of state ensnare them both,Let his own ruins crush him.
QUEENThis goes to trial.Be thou my magic book, which reading o'erTheir counterspells we'll break; or if the KingWill not by strong hand fix me in his Throne,But that I must be held Spain's blazing star,Be it an ominous charm to call up war.
Enter Cornego and Onaelia.
CORNEGO Here's a parcel of man's flesh has been hanging up and down all this morning to speak with you.
ONAELIAIs't not some executioner?
CORNEGOI see nothing about him to hang in but his garters.
ONAELIASent from the King to warn me of my death:I prithee bid him welcome.
CORNEGOHe says he is a poet.
ONAELIAThen bid him better welcome.Belike he's come to write my epitaph,Some scurvy thing I'll warrant. Welcome Sir.
Enter Poet.
POETMadam, my love presents this book unto you.
ONAELIATo me? I am not worthy of a line,Unless at that Line hang some hook to choke me:
[Onaelia reads book.]
To the Most Honoured Lady - Onaelia.Fellow thou liest, I'm most dishonoured:Thou should'st have writ to the most wronged Lady.The title of this book is not to me,I tear it therefore as mine honour's torn.
CORNEGOYour verses are lamed in some of their feet, Master poet.
ONAELIAWhat does it treat of?
POETOf the solemn triumphsSet forth at coronation of the Queen.
ONAELIAHissing, the poet's whirlwind, blast thy lines!Com'st thou to mock my tortures with her triumphs?
POET'Las Madam!
ONAELIAWhen her funerals are past,Crown thou a dedication to my joys,And thou shalt swear each line a golden verse.Cornego, burn this idol.
CORNGOYour book shall come to light, Sir.
Exit Cornego [with book.]
ONAELIAI have read legends of disastrous dames;Will none set pen to paper for poor me?Canst write a bitter satire? Brainless peopleDo call them libels. Darest thou write a libel?
POETI dare mix gall and poison with my ink.
ONAELIADo it then for me.
POETAnd every line must beA whip to draw blood.
ONAELIABetter.
POETAnd to dareThe stab from him it touches. He that writesSuch libels, as you call them, must launch wideThe sores of men's corruptions, and even searchTo the quick for dead flesh, or for rotten cores:A poet's ink can better cure some soresThan surgeon's balsam.
ONAELIAUndertake that cureAnd crown thy verse with bays.
POETMadam, I'll do it,But I must have the party's character.
ONAELIAThe King.
POETI do not love to pluck the quills,With which I make pens, out of a lion's claw.The King! Should I be bitter 'gainst the King,I shall have scurvy ballads made of me,Sung to the hanging tune. I dare not, Madam.
ONAELIAThis baseness follows your profession.You are like common beadles, apt to lashAlmost to death poor wretches not worth striking,But fawn with slavish flattery on damned vicesSo great men act them. You clap hands at those,Where the true poet indeed doth scorn to guildA gaudy tomb with glory of his verse,Which coffins stinking carrion. No, his linesAre free as his invention. No base fearCan shake his pen to temporise even with kings,The blacker are their crimes, he louder sings.Go, go, thou canst not write: 'tis but my callingThe muses help, that I may be inspired.Canst a woman be a poet, Sir?
POETYes, Madam, best of all. For poesieIs but feigning, feigning is to lie,And women practice lying more than men.
ONAELIANay, but if I should write, I would tell truth.How might I reach a lofty strain?
POETThus Madam:Books, music, wine, brave company and good cheerMake poets to soar high and sing most clear.
ONAELIAAre they born poets?
POETYes.
ONAELIADie they?
POETOh, never die.
ONAELIAMy misery is then a poet sure,For time has given it an eternity.What sort of poets are there?
POETTwo sorts lady:The great poets and the small poets.
ONAELIAGreat and small!Which do you call the great? The fat ones?
POETNo:But such as have great heads, which emptied forth,Fill all the world with wonder at their lines;Fellows which swell big with the wind of praise.The small ones are but shrimps of poesie.
ONAELIAWhich in the kingdom now is the best poet?
POETEmulation.
ONAELIAWhich the next?
POETNecessity.
ONAELIAAnd which the worst?
POETSelf-love.
ONAELIASay I turn poet, what should I get?
POETOpinion.
ONAELIAAlas, I have got too much of that already,Opinion is my evidence, judge and jury.Mine own guilt and opinion now condemn me.I'll therefore be no poet, no nor makeTen muses of your nine. I'll swear for this;Verses, though freely born, like slaves are sold,I crown thy lines with bays, thy love with gold:So fare thou well.
POETOur pen shall honour thee.
Exit Poet, enter Cornego.
CORNEGO The poet's book Madam, has got the inflammation of the liver, it died of a burning fever.
ONAELIAWhat shall I do, Cornego? For this poetHas filled me with a fury. I could writeStrange satires now against adulterers,And marriage-breakers.
CORNEGOI believe you Madam - but here comes your uncle.
Enter Medina, Alanzo, Carlo, Alba, Sebastian, Daenia.
MEDINAWhere's our niece?Turn your brains round, and recollect your spirits,And see your noble friends and kinsmen readyTo pay revenge his due.
ONAELIAThat word revenge,Startles my sleepy soul, now thoroughly wakenedBy the fresh object of my hapless childWhose wrongs reach beyond mine.
SEBASTIANHow doth my sweet mother?
ONAELIAHow doth my prettiest boy?
ALANZOWrongs, like great whirlwinds,Shake highest battlements. Few for heaven would care,Should they be ever happy. They are half godsWho both in good days, and good fortune share.
ONAELIAI have no part in either.
CARLOYou shall in both,Can swords but cut the way.
ONAELIAI care not much, so you but gently strike him,And that my child escape the lightening.
MEDINAFor that our nerves are knit; is there not hereA promising face of manly princely virtues,And shall so sweet a plant be rooted outBy him that ought to fix it fast in the ground?Sebastian, what will you do to himThat hurts your mother?
SEBASTIANThe King my father shall kill him I trow.
DAENIABut sweet cousin, the King loves not your mother.
SEBASTIANI'll make him love her when I am a King.
MEDINALa you, there's in him a king's heart already.As therefore we before together vowed,Lay all your warlike hands upon my sword,And swear.
SEBASTIANWill you swear to kill me, Uncle?
MEDINAOh not for twenty worlds.
SEBASTIANNay then draw and spare not, for I love fighting.
MEDINAStand in the midst, sweet coz, we are your guard.These hammers shall for thee beat out a crownIf all hit right. Swear therefore, noble friends,By your high bloods, by true nobility,By what you owe religion, owe to your country,Owe to the raising your posterity,By love you bear to virtue, and to arms,The shield of innocence, swear not to sheathYour swords, when once drawn forth.
ONAELIAOh not to kill himFor twenty thousand worlds.
MEDINAWill you be quiet?Your swords when once drawn forth, till they have forcedYon godless, perjurous, perfidious man…
ONAELIAPray rail not at him so.
MEDINAArt mad? You're idleTill they have forced himTo cancel his late lawless bond he sealedAt the high altar to his Florentine strumpet,And in his bed lay this his troth-plight wife.
ONAELIAI, I that's well. Pray swear.
ALLTo this we swear.
SEBASTIANUncle, I swear too.
MEDINAOur forces let's unite, be bold and secret,And lion-like with open eyes let's sleep,Streams smooth and slowly running are most deep.
Exeunt.
Enter King, Queen, Malateste, Valasco, Lopez, [Roderigo and guards].
KINGThe presence door be guarded, let none enterOn forfeit of your lives, without our knowledge.Oh you are false physicians all unto me,You bring me poison, but no antidotes.
QUEENYourself that poison brews.
KINGPrithee, no more.
QUEENI will, I must speak more.
KINGThunder aloud.
QUEENMy child, yet newly quickened in my womb,Is blasted with the fires of bastardy.
KINGWho! Who dares once but think so in his dream?
MALATESTEMedina's faction preached it openly.
KINGBe cursed he and his faction. Oh how I labourFor these preventions! But so cross is fateMy ills are ne'r hid from me, but their cures.What's to be done?
QUEENThat which being left undone,Your life lies at the stake. Let them be breathlessBoth brat and mother.
KINGHa!
MALATESTEShe plays true music Sir.The mischiefs you are drenched in are so full,You need not fear to add to them. Since nowNo way is left to guard thy rest secure,But by a means like this.
LOPEZAll Spain rings forthMedina's name, and his confederates.
RODRIGOAll his allies and friends rush into troopsLike raging torrents.
VALESCOAnd loud trumpet forthYour perjuries. Seducing the wild people,And with rebellious faces threatening all.
KINGI shall be massacred in this their spleen,Ere I have time to guard myself. I feelThe fire already falling. Where's our guard?
MALATESTEPlanted at guarded gate, with a strict chargeThat none shall enter but by your command.
KINGLet them be doubled. I am full of thoughts,A thousand wheels toss my incertain fears,There is a storm in my hot boiling brains,Which rises without wind. A horrid one.What clamour's that?
QUEENSome treason. Guard the King.
Enter Balthazar drawn, [he strikes] one of the guards who falls.
BALTHAZARNot in?
MALATESTEOne of the guards is slain, keep off the murderer.
BALTHAZARI am none, sir.
VALASCOThere's a man dropped down by thee.
KINGThou desperate fellow, thus press in upon us!Is murder all the story we shall read?What King can stand, when thus his subjects bleed?What has thou done?
BALTHAZARNo hurt.
KINGPlayed even the wolf,And from a fold committed to my charge,Stolen and devoured one of the flock.
BALTHAZARYou have sheep enough for all that, Sir. I have killed none though.Or if I have, mine <30> own blood, shed in your quarrels, may beg mypardon. My business was in haste to you.
KINGI would not have thy sin scored on my headFor all the Indian Treasury. I prithee tell me,Suppose thou had'st our pardon, oh can that cureThy wounded conscience, can there my pardon help thee?Yet having deserved well both of Spain and us,We will not pay thy worth with loss of life,But banish thee for ever.
BALTHAZARFor a groom's death?
KINGNo more. We banish thee our court and Kingdom.A King that fosters men so dipped in blood,May be called merciful, but never good.Be gone upon thy life.
BALTHAZARWell, farewell.
Exit Balthazar.
VALASCOThe fellow is not dead, but wounded sir.
QUEENAfter him Malateste. In our lodgingStay that rough fellow, he's the man shall do't.Haste or my hopes are lost.
Exit Malateste.
Why are you sad, sir?
KINGFor thee, Paulina, swell my troubled thoughtsLike billows beaten by two warring winds.
QUEENBe you ruled but ruled by me, I'll make a calmSmooth as the breast of heaven.
KINGInstruct me how.
QUEENYou, as your fortunes tie you, are inclinedTo have the blow given.
KINGWhere's the instrument?
QUEEN'Tis found in Balthazar.
KINGHe's banished.
QUEENTrueBut stayed by me for this.
KINGHis spirit is hotAnd rugged, but so honest that his soulWill never turn devil to do it.
QUEENPut it to trial.Retire a little, hither I'll send for him,Offer repeal and favours if he do it.But if he deny, you have no finger in't,And then his doom of banishment stands good.
KINGBe happy in thy workings, I obey.
Exit King
QUEENStay Lopez.
LOPEZMadam.
QUEENStep to our lodging, LopezAnd instantly bid Malateste bringThe banished Balthazar to us.
LOPEZI shall.
Exit Lopez.
QUEENThrive my black plots, the mischiefs I have setMust not so die. Ills must new ills beget.
Enter Malateste and Balthazar.
BALTHAZARNow! What hot poisoned custard must I put my spoon into now?
QUEENNone, for mine honour is now thy protection.
MALATESTEWhich, noble soldier, she will pawn for theeBut never forfeit.
BALTHAZAR'Tis a fair gage <31>, keep it.
QUEENOh Balthazar! I am thy friend, and marked thee.When the King sentenced thee to banishmentFire sparkled from thine eyes of rage and grief.Rage to be doomed so for a groom so base,And grief to lose thy Country. Thou hast killed none,The milk-sop is but wounded, thou are not banished.
BALTHAZAR If I were, I lose nothing, I can make any country mine. I have a private coat for Italian Stilettos, I can be treacherous with the Walloon, drunk with the Dutch, a chimney-sweeper with the Irish, a gentleman with the Welsh and true arrant thief with the English. What then is my country to me?
QUEENThe King, who rap'd with fury, banished thee,Shall give thee favours, yield but to destroyWhat him distempers.
BALTHAZARSo. And what is the dish I must dress?
QUEENOnly the cutting off a pair of lives.
BALTHAZARI love no red-wine healths.
QUEENThe King commands it, you are but executioner.
BALTHAZAR The hang-man? An office that will hold so long as hemp lasts. Why do not you beg the office, Sir?
QUEENThy victories in field never did crown theeAs this one Act shall.
BALTHAZARProve but that, 'tis done.
QUEENFollow him close, he's yielding.
MALATESTEThou shalt be called thy Country's Patriot,For quenching out a fire now newly kindlingIn factious bosoms, and shalt thereby saveMore Noble Spaniards lives, than thou slew Moors.
QUEENArt thou yet converted?
BALTHAZARNo point.
QUEENRead me then:Medina's niece, by a contract from the King,Lays claim to all that's mine, my crown, my bed.A son she has by him must fill the throne,If her great faction can but work that wonder.Now hear me…
BALTHAZARI do with gaping ears.
QUEENI swell with hopeful issue to the King.
BALTHAZARA brave Don call you mother.
MALATESTEOf this danger the fear afflicts the King.
BALATAZARCannot much blame him.
QUEENIf therefore by the riddance of this Dame …
BALTHAZARRiddance? Oh! The meaning on't is murder.
MALATESTEStab her, or so, that's all.
QUEENThat Spain be free from frights, the King from fears,And I, now held his infamy, be called Queen,The treasure of the Kingdom shall lie openTo pay thy noble darings.
BALTHAZAR Come. I'll do it, provided I hear Jove call to me, though he roars. I must have the King's hand to this warrant, else I dare not serve it upon my conscience.
QUEENBe firm then. Behold the King is come.
Enter King.
BALTHAZARAcquaint him.
QUEENI found the metal hard, but with oft beatingHe's now so softened, he shall take impressionFrom any seal you give him.
KINGBalthazar,Come hither, listen. Whatsoe'er our QueenHas importuned thee to touching OnaeliaNiece to the Constable, and her young son,My voice shall second it, and sign her promise.
BALTHAZARTheir riddance?
KINGThat.
BALTHAZARWhat way? By poison?
KINGSo.
BALTHAZARStarving? Or strangling, stabbing, smothering?
QUEENGood.
KINGAny way, so 'tis done.
BALTHAZARBut I will have, Sir,This under your own hand, that you desire it,You plot it, set me on to't.
KINGPen, ink and paper.
[King writes and signs document.]
BALTHAZARAnd then as large a pardon as law and wit can engross for me.
KINGThou shalt have my pardon.
BALTHAZARA word more, Sir, pray will you tell me one thing?
KINGYes, any thing dear Balthazar.
BALTHAZAR Suppose I have your strongest pardon, can that cure my wounded conscience? Can there your pardon help me? You not only knock the ewe on the head, but cut the innocent lamb's throat too, yet you are no butcher.
QUEENIs this thy promised yielding to an actSo wholesome for thy country?
KINGChide him not.
BALTHAZARI would not have this sin scored on my headFor all the Indian Treasury.
KINGThat song no more.Do this and I will make thee a great man.
BALTHAZARIs there no farther trick in't but my blow, your purse and my pardon?
MALTATESTENo nets upon my life to entrap thee.
BALTHAZARThen trust me. These knuckles work it.
KINGFarewell. Be confident and sudden.
BALTHAZARYes.Subjects may stumble, when kings walk astray.Thine Acts shall be a new Apocrypha.
Exeunt.
Enter Medina, Alba, [Carlo], and Daenia, met by Balthazar with a poniard and a pistol.
BALTHAZARYou met a Hydra. See, if one head failsAnother with a sulphurous beak stands yawning.
MEDINAWhat hath raised up this devil?
BALTHAZAR A great man's vices, that can raise all hell. What would you call that man, who under-sail in a most goodly ship, wherein he ventures his life, fortunes, and honours, yet in a fury should hew the mast down, cast sails overboard, fire all the tacklings, and to crown this madness, should blow up all the decks, burn th'oaken ribs, and in that combat 'twix two elements leap desperately, and drown himself in the seas? What were so brave a fellow?
ALLA brave black villain.
BALTHAZAR That's I. All that brave black villain dwells in me, if I be that black villain. But I am not! A nobler character prints out my brow, which you may thus read, I was banished Spain for emptying a court- hogshead, but repealed so I would, ere my reeking iron was cold, promise to give it a deep crimson dye in - none hear, - stay - no, none hear.
MEDINAWhom then?
BALTHAZARBasely to stab a woman, your wronged niece and her most innocent son,Sebastian.
ALBAThe boar now foams with wetting.
DAENIAWhat has bluntedThy weapons point at these?
BALTHAZAR My honesty. A sign at which few dwell, pure honesty! I am a vassal to Medina's house, He taught me first the A-B-C of war. E'er I was truncheon high, I had the stile on beardless Captain, writing then but boy, and shall I now turn slave to him that fed me with Cannon- bullets and taught me, ostrich-like to digest iron and steel! No! Yet I yielded with willow-bendings to commanding breaths.
MEDINAOf whom?
BALTHAZAR Of King and Queen. With supple hams and an ill-boding look, I vowed to do it. Yet, lest some choke-pear <32> of state policy should stop my throat, and spoil my drinking pipe, see, like his cloak, I hung at the King's elbow, till I had got his hand to sign my life.
[Balthazar passes over the document signed by the King.]
DAENIAShall we see this and sleep?
ALBANo, whilst these wake.
MEDINA'Tis the King's hand?
BALTHAZARThink you me a coiner <33>?
MEDINANo, no,Thou art thy self still, noble Balthazar.I ever knew thee honest, and the markStands still upon thy forehead.
BALTHAZARElse flea the skin off.
MEDINAI ever knew thee valiant, and to scornAll acts of baseness. I have seen this manWrite in the field such stories with his sword,That our best chieftains swore there was in himAs 'twere a new philosophy of fighting,His deeds were so punctilious. In one battleWhen death so nearly missed my ribs, he struckThree horses stone-dead under me. This man,Three times that day, even through the jaws of danger,Redeemed me up and, I shall print it ever,Stood over my body with Colossus thighsWhilst all the thunder-bolts which war could throw,Fell on his head. And Balthazar, thou canst notBe now but honest still, and valiant still,Not to kill boys and women.
BALTHAZARMy biter here, eats no such meat.
MEDINAGo fetch the marked-out lamb for slaughter hither,Good fellow-soldier aid him, and stay, mark,Give this false fire to the believing King,That the child's sent to heaven, but that the motherStands rocked so strong with friends, ten thousand billowsCannot once shake her.
BALTHAZARThis I'll do.
MEDINAAway.Yet one word more. Your counsel, Noble friends.Hark Balthazar, because nor eyes nor tongues,Shall by loud larums, that the poor boy lives,Question thy false report, the child shall, closelyMantled in darkness, forthwith be conveyedTo the monastery of Saint Paul.
ALLGood.
MEDINADespatch then, be quick.
BALTHAZARAs lightning.
Exit Balthazar.
ALBAThis fellow is some angel dropped from heavenTo preserve innocence.
MEDINAHe is a wheelOf swift and turbulent motion. I have trusted him,Yet will not hang on him too many plummets,Lest with a headlong gyre <34> he ruins all.In these state consternations, when a kingdomStands tottering at the centre, out of suspicionSafety grows often. Let us suspect this fellow,And that albeit he show us the King's hand,It may be but a trick.
DAENIAYour Lordship hitsA poisoned nail i'th head. This waxen fellow,By the King's hand so bribing him with gold,Is set on screws, perhaps is made his creature,To turn round every way.
MEDINAOut of that fearWill I beget truth. For myself in personWill sound the King's breast.
CARLOHow? Yourself in person?
ALBAThat's half the prize he gapes for.
MEDINAI'll venture it,And come off well I warrant you, and rip upHis very entrails, cut in two his heart,And search each corner in't, yet shall not heKnow who it is cut up the anatomy.
DAENIA'Tis an exploit worth wonder.
CARLOPut the worst,Say some infernal voice should roar from hell,The infant's cloistering up.
ALBA'Tis not our danger,Nor the imprisoned Prince's, for what thiefDares by base sacrilege rob the Church of him?
CARLOAt worst none can be lost but this slight fellow!
MEDINAAll build on this as on a stable cube.If we our footing keep, we fetch him forth,And crown him King. If up we fly i'th air,We for his soul's health a broad way prepare.
DAENISThey come.
Enter Balthazar and Sebastian.
MEDINAThou knowest where to bestow him, Balthazar.
BALTHAZARCome noble boy.
ALBAHide him from being discovered.
BALTHAZAR Discovered? Would there stood a troop of Moors thrusting the paws of hungry lions forth, to seize this prey, and this but in my hand, I should do something.
SEBASTIANMust I go with this black fellow, Uncle?
MEDINAYes, pretty coz, hence with him Balthazar.
BALTHAZARSweet child, within few minutes I'll change thy fateAnd take thee hence, but set thee at heavens gate.
[Exit Balthazar and Sebastian.]
MEDINASome keep aloof and watch this soldier
CARLOI'll do't.
Exit Carlo.
DAENIAWhat's to be done now?
MEDINAFirst to plant strong guardAbout the mother, then into some snareTo hunt this spotted panther, and there kill him.
DAENIAWhat snares have we can hold him?
MEDINABe that care mine.Dangers, like stars, in dark attempts best shine.
Exeunt.
Enter Cornego, Balthazar.
CORNEGO The Lady Onaelia dresseth the stead of her commendations in the most courtly attire that words can be clothed with, from herself to you, by me.
BALTHAZARSo Sir, and what disease troubles her now?
CORNEGO The King's evil. And here she hath sent something to you, wrapped up in a white sheet, you need not fear to open it, 'tis no course.
BALTHAZAR What's here? A letter minced into five morsels? What was she doing when thou camest from her?
CORNEGOAt her prick-song.
BALTHAZAR So me thinks, for here's nothing but sol-re-me-fa-mi. What crotchet fills her head now, canst tell?
CORNEGONo crotchets, 'tis only the Cliff has made her mad.
BALTHAZARWhat instrument played she upon?
CORNEGOA wind instrument, she did nothing but sigh.
BALTHAZARSol, re, me, fa, mi.
CORNEGOMy wit has always a singing head, I have found out her note captain.
BALTHAZARThe tune? Come.
CORNEGO Sol, my soul. Re, is all rent and torn like a ragamuffin. Me, mend it good captain. Fa, fa. What's fa Captain?
BALTHAZARFa, why farewell and be hanged.
CORNEGOMi Captain, with all my heart. Have I tickled my Lady's fiddle well?
BALTHAZAR Oh, but you stick wants rosin <35> to make the strings sound clearly. No, this double virginal, being cunningly touched, another matter of jack leaps up then is now in mine eye. Sol, re me fa, mi, I have it now. Solus Rex me facit miseram <36>. Alas poor Lady, tell her no apothecary in Spain has any of that assa foetida <37 > she writes for.
CORNEGOAssa foetida? What's that?
BALTHAZARAA thing to be taken in a glister-pipe <38>.
CORNEGOWhy, what ails my Lady?
BALTHAZAR What ails she? Why when she cries out, Solus Rex me facit miseram, she says in the Hypocronicall <39> language, that she is so miserably tormented with the wind colic that it racks her very soul.
CORNEGOI said somewhat cut her soul in pieces.
BALTHAZARBut go to her, and say the oven is heating.
CORNEGOAnd what shall be baked in't?
BALTHAZAR Carp pies.<40> And besides, tell her the hole in her coat shall be mended, and tell her if the dial of good days <41> goes true, why then bounce buckrum.<42>
CORNEGOThe devil lies sick of the mulligrubs.<43>
BALTHAZAROr the Cony is dub'd, and three sheepskins …
CORNEGOWith the wrong side outward …
BALTHAZARShall make the fox a night-cap.
CORNEGOSo the goose talks French to the buzzard.
BALTHAZAR But, Sir, if evil days jostle our prognostication to the wall, then say there's a fire in a whore-masters cod-piece.
CORNEGOAnd a poisoned bag-pudding in Tom Thumb's belly.
BALTHAZARThe first cut be thine. Farewell.
CORNEGOIs this all?
BALTHAZARWould'st not trust an Almanac?
CORNEGO Not a coranta <44> neither, though it were sealed with butter, <45> and yet I know where they both lie passing well.
Enter Lopez.
LOPEZThe King sends round about the court to seek you.
BALTHAZARAway Otterhound.
CORNEGODancing bear, I'm gone.
Exit Cornego. Enter King attended.
KINGA Private room,
Exeunt, King and Balthazar remain
I'st done? Hast drawn thy two-edged sword out yet?
BALTHAZAR No, I was striking at the two iron bars that hinder your passage, and see Sir.
Draws.
KINGWhat mean'st thou?
BALTHAZARThe edge abated, feel.
KINGNo, no I see it.
BALTHAZARAs blunt as ignorance.
KINGHow? Put up - so - how?
BALTHAZAR I saw by chance hanging in Cardinal Alvarez gallery, a picture of hell.
KINGSo what of that?
BALTHAZAR There lay upon burnt straw ten thousand brave fellows all stark naked, some leaning upon crowns, some on Mitres, some on bags of gold. Glory, in another corner lay, a feather beaten in the rain. Beauty was turned into a watching candle that went out stinking. Ambition went upon a huge high pair of stilts but horribly rotten. Some in another nook were killing Kings, and some having their elbows shoved forward by Kings to murder others. I was, me thought, half in hell myself whist I stood to view this piece.
KINGWas this all?
BALTHAZAR Was't not enough to see that a man is more healthful that eats dirty puddings, than he that feeds on a corrupted conscience?
KINGConscience! What's that? A conjuring book ne'r openedWithout the reader's danger. 'Tis indeedA scarecrow set i'th world to frighten weak fools.Hast thou seen fields paved o'er with carcasses,Now to be tender-footed, not to treadOn a boy's mangled quarters, and a woman's!
BALTHAZARNay, Sir, I have searched the records of the Low-Countries, and findthat by your pardon I need not care a pin for goblins, and thereforeI will do it Sir. I did recoil because I was double charged.
KINGNo more. Here comes a satyr with sharp horns.
Enter Cardinal, and Medina like a French Doctor.
CARDINALSir, here's a Frenchman charged with some strange businessWhich to close ear only he'll deliver,Or else to none.
KINGA Frenchman?
MEDINAOui, Monsieur.
KINGCannot he speak the Spanish?
MEDINA Si Signor, un Poco - Monsieur Acontez in de Corner, me come for offer to your Bon Grace mi trezhumbla service, by gar no John fidleco shall put into your near braver melody dan dis un petite pipe shall play to your great bon Grace.
KINGWhat is the tune you strike up, touch the string.
MEDINA Dis - me has run up and down mine Country and learn many fine thing, and mush knavery, now more and all dis me know you'll jumbla de fine vench and fill her belly with garsoone, her name is La Madam …
KINGOnaelia.
MEDINA She by gar. Now Monsieur dis Madam send for me to help her malady, being very naught of her corpus, her body, me know you no point loves dis vench. But royal Monsieur donne moye ten thousand French Crowns she shall kick up her tail by gar, and beshide lie dead as dog in de shannell.
KINGSpeak low.
MEDINAAs de bag-pipe when de wind is puff, Gar beigh,
KINGThou namest ten thousand Crowns, I'll treble themRid me of this leprosy. Thy name?
MEDINAMonsieur Doctor Devil.
KINGShall I a second wheel add to this mischiefTo set it faster going? If one break,T'other may keep his motion.
MEDINAEsselent fort boone.
KINGBalthazar.To give thy sword an edge again, this FrenchmanShall whet thee on, that if thy pistol fail,Or poniard, this can send the poison home.
BALTHAZARBrother Cain we'll shake hands.
MEDINAIn de bowl of de bloody busher. 'Tis very fine wholesome.
KINGAnd more to arm your resolution,I'll tune this Churchman so, that he shall chimeIn sounds harmonious, merit to that manWhose hand has but a finger in that act.
BALTHAZARThat music were worth hearing.
KINGHoly father,You must give pardon to me in unlockingA cave stuffed full with serpents, which my StateThreaten to poison, and it lies in youTo break their bed with thunder of your voice.
CARDINALHow princely son?
KINGSuppose a universalHot pestilence beat her mortiferous wingsO'er all my kingdoms, am I not bound in soul,To empty all our academies of doctorsAnd Aesculapian <46> spirits to charm this plague?
CARDINALYou are.
KINGOr had the canon made a breachInto our rich Escurial <47>, down to beat itAbout our ears, should I stop this breachSpare even our richest Ornaments, nay our crown,Could it keep bullets off.
CARDINALNo sir, you should not.
KINGThis linstock <48> gives you fire. Shall then that strumpetAnd bastard breathe quick vengeance in my face,Making my Kingdom reel, my subjects staggerIn their obedience, and yet live?
CARDINALHow? Live!Shed not their bloods to gain a kingdom greaterThan ten times this.
MEDINAPish, not matter how Red-cap and his wit run.
KINGAs I am Catholic King, I'll have their heartsPanting in these two hands.
CARDINALDare you turn hangman?Is this religion Catholic to killWhat even brute beasts abhor to do, your own!To cut in sunder wedlock's sacred knotTied by heaven's fingers! To make Spain a bonfireTo quench which must a second deluge rainIn showers of blood, no water. If you do thisThere is an arm armipotent that can fling youInto a base grave, and your palacesWith lightening strike, and of their ruins makeA tomb for you, unpitied and abhorred,Bear witness all you lamps celestialI wash my hands of this.
KINGRise my good angel,Whose holy tunes beat from me that evil spiritWhich jogs mine elbow, hence thou dog of hell.
MEDINABow wow.
KINGBark out no more thou mastiff, get you all gone,And let my soul sleep. [Aside to Balthazar] There's gold, peace, seeit done.
Exit King.
BALTHAZARSirra, you salsa-perilla <49>, rascal, toads-gut, you whorson pockeyFrench spawn of a butsten-bellyed spider. Do you hear Monsieur?
MEDINAWhy do you bark and snap at my Narcissus, as if I were de French dog?
BALTHAZARYou cur of Cerberus litter,
[Strikes him]
You'll poison the honest Lady? Do but once toot <50> into her chamber-pot, and I'll make thee look worse than a witch does upon a close stool.
CARDINALYou shall not dare to touch him, stood he hereSingle before thee.
BALTHAZARI'll cut the rat into anchovies.
CARDINALI'll make thee kiss his hand, embrace him, love himAnd call him …
Medina [reveals his true identity].
BALTHAZAR The perfection of all Spaniards, Mars in little, the best book of the art of war printed in these times. As a French doctor, I would have given you pellets for pills, but as my noblest Lord, rip my heart out in your service.
MEDINAThou are the truest ClockThat e'er to time paidst tribute, honest soldier,I lost mine own shape, and put on a FrenchOnly to try thy truth, and the King's falsehood,Both which I find. Now this great Spanish volumeIs opened to me, I read him o'er and o'er,Oh what black characters are printed in him.
CARDINALNothing but certain ruin threats your niece,Without prevention. Well this plot was laidIn such disguise to sound him, they that knowHow to meet dangers, are the less afraid.Yet let me counsel you not to text downThese wrongs in red lines.
MEDINANo, I will not, father.Now that I have anatomised his thoughts,I'll read a lecture on them that shall saveMany men's lives, and to the kingdom ministerMost wholesome surgery. Here's our aphorism.These letters from us in our niece's name,You know treat of a marriage.
CARDINALThere's the strong anchorTo stay all in this tempest.
MEDINAHoly sir,With these works you the King, and so prevailThat all these mischiefs hull <51> with flagging sail.
CARDINALMy best in this I'll do.
MEDINASoldier, thy breastI must lock better things in.
BALTHAZAR'Tis your chest,With three good keys to keep it from opening an honest heart, adaring hand, and a pocket which scorns money.
Exeunt.
Enter King, Cardinal with letters, [Valesco and Lopez].
KINGCommend us to Medina, say his lettersRight pleasing are, and that, except himselfNothing could be more welcome. Counsel him,To blot the opinion out of factious numbers,Only to have his ordinary trainWaiting upon him. For, to quit all fearsUpon his side of us, our very courtShall even but dimly shine with some few Dons,Freely to prove our longings great to peace.
CARDINALThe Constable expects some pawn from you,That in this fairy circle shall rise upNo fury to confound his niece nor him.
KINGA King's word is engaged.
CARDINALIt shall be taken.
KINGValasco, call the Captain of our Guard,Bid him attend us instantly.
VALASCOI shall.
Exit Valasco.
KINGLopez come hither. See,Letters from Duke Medina, both in the nameOf him and all his faction, offering peace,And our old love, his niece OnaeliaIn marriage with her free and fair consentTo Cockadillio, a Don of Spain.
LOPEZWill you refuse this?
KINGMy crown as soon. They feel their sinewy plotsBelike to shrink i'the joints. And fearing ruin,Have found this cement out to piece up all,Which more endangers all.
LOPEZHow sir? Endangers!
KINGLions may hunted be into the snare,But if they once break loose, woe be to himThat first seized on them. A poor prisoner scornsTo kiss his jailer. And shall a king be chokedWith sweet-meats by false traitors! No, I will fawnOn them as they stroke me, till they are fastBut in this paw. And then…
LOPEZA brave revenge!The Captain of your Guard.
Enter Alanzo, the Captain.
KINGUpon thy lifeDouble our guard this day. Let every manBear a charged pistol hid, and, at a watch-wordGiven by a musket, when our self sees time,Rush in, and, if Medina's faction wrestleAgainst your forces, kill, but if yield, save.Be secret!
ALANZOI am charmed, Sir.
Exit Alanzo.
KINGWatch Valasco.If any wear a Cross, feather or glove,Or such prodigious signs of a knit faction,Table their names up. At our court-gate plantGood strength to bar them out, if once they swarm.Do this upon thy life.
VALASCONot death shall fright me.
Exit [Valasco and Lopez,] enter Balthazar.
BALTHAZAR'Tis done, Sir.
KINGDeath! What's Done?
BALTHAZAR Young cub's flayed, but the she-fox shifting her hole is fled. The little jackanapes, the boy's brained.
KINGSebastian?
BALTHAZARHe shall ne'r speak more Spanish.
KINGThou teachest me to curse thee.
BALTHAZARFor a bargain you set your hand to.
KINGHalf my crown I'd lose were it undone.
BALTHAZARBut half a crown! That's nothing.His brains stick in my conscience more than yours.
KINGHow lost I the French doctor?
BALTHAZARAs Frenchmen lose their hair. Here was too hot staying for him.
KINGGet thou from my sight, the Queen would see thee.
BALTHAZARYour gold, Sir.
KINGGo with Judas and repent.
BALTHAZARSo men hate whores after lust's heat is spent.I'm gone, Sir.
KINGTell me true, is he dead?
BALTHAZARDead.
KINGNo matter. 'Tis but morning of revenge,The sunset shall be red and tragical.
Exit King.
BALTHAZARSin is a raven croaking <52> her own fall.
Exit Balthazar.
Enter Medina, Daenia, Alba, Carlo and The Faction with Rosemary <53> in their hats.
MEDINAKeep locked the door, and let none enter to usBut who shares our fortunes.
DAENIALock the doors.
ALBAWhat entertainment did the King bestowUpon your letters and the Cardinal's?
MEDINAWith a devouring eye he read them o'er,Swallowing our offers into his empty bosom,As gladly as the parched earth drinks healthsOut of the cup of heaven.
CARLOLittle suspectingWhat dangers closely lie enambushed.
DAENIALet us not trust to that. There's in his breastBoth fox and lion, and both these beasts can bite.We must not now behold the narrowest loop-hole,But presently suspect a winged bulletFlies whizzing by our ears.
MEDINAFor when I letThe plummet fall to sound his very soulIn his close-chamber, being French-Doctor like,He to the Cardinal's ear sung sorcerous notes,The burden of his song, to mine, was death,Onaelia's murder, and Sebastian's.And think you his voice alters now? 'Tis strange,To see how brave this tyrant shows in court,Throned like a god. Great men are pretty stars,When his rays shine, wonder fills up all eyesBy sight of him, let him but once check sin,About him round all cry, oh excellent King!Oh Saint-like man! But, let this King retireInto his closet to put off his robes,He like a player leaves his part too.Open his breast, and with a sunbeam search it,There's no such man. This King of gilded clay,Within is ugliness, lust, treachery,And a base soul, though reared Colossus-like.
Balthazar beats to come.
DAENIANone till he speaks, and that we know his voice.Who are you?
BALTHAZAR (within) An honest house-keeper in Rosemary Lane <54> too, if you dwell in the same parish.
MEDINAOh 'tis our honest soldier, give him entrance.
BALTHAZARMen show like coarses, for I meet few but are stuck with Rosemary.Every one asked me who was married today, and I told them Adulteryand Repentance, and that Shame and a Hangman followed them to church.
MEDINAThere's but two parts to play, shame has done hers,But execution must close up the scene,And for that cause these sprigs are worn by all,Bags of marriage, now of funeral,For death this day turns courtier.
BALTHAZARWho must dance with him?
MEDINAThe King, and all that are our opposites.That dart or this must fly into the courtEither to shoot this blazing star from Spain,Or else so long to wrap him up in clouds,Till all the fatal fires in him burn out,Leaving his state and conscience clear from doubtOf following uproars.
ALBAKill not, but surprise him.
CARLOThat's my voice still.
MEDINAThine, soldier?
BALTHAZAR Oh, this colic of a kingdom, when the wind of treason gets amongst the small guts, what a rumbling and a roaring it keeps. And yet, make the best of it you can, it goes on stinking. Kill a King?
DAENIAWhy?
BALTHAZAR If men should pull the sun out of heaven every time 'tis eclipsed, not all the wax nor tallow in Spain would serve to make us candles for one year.
MEDINANo way to purgeThe sick state, but by opening a vein.
BALTHAZAR Is that your French physic? If every one of us should be whipped according to our faults, to be lashed at a cart's tail would be held but a flea biting.
Enter Signor No.
MEDINA whispersWhat are you? Come from the King?
NONo.
BALTHAZARNo? More no's? I know him, let him enter.
MEDINASignor, I thank your kind intelligence,The news long since was sent into our ears,Yet we embrace your love, so fare you well.
CARLOWill you smell to a sprig of rosemary?
NONo.
BALTHAZARWill you be hanged?
NONo.
BALTHAZARThis is either Signor No, or no Signor.
MEDINAHe makes his love to us a warning pieceTo arm ourselves against we come to court,Because the guard is doubled.
ALLTush, we care not.
BALTHAZAR If any here arms his hand to cut off the head, let him first pluck out my throat. In any noble act I'll wade chin-deep with you. But to kill a King?
MEDINANo hear me…
BALTHAZAR You were better, my Lord, sail five hundred times to Bantam <55> in the West Indies, that once to Barathrum in the Low Countries. It's hot going under the line there, the calenture <56> of the soul is a most miserable madness.
MEDINATurn then this wheel of fate from shedding bloodTill with her own hand Justice weighs all.
BALTHAZARGood.
Exeunt.
Enter Queen, Malateste.
QUEENMust then his trul <57> be once more sphered in courtTo triumph in my spoils, in my eclipses?And I like moping Juno sit, whilst JoveVaries his lust into five hundred shapesTo steal to his whore's bed! No Malateste,Italian fires of Jealousy burn my marrow.For to delude my hopes, the lecherous kingCuts out this robe of cunning marriage,To cover his incontinence, which flamesHot, as my fury, in his black desires.I am swollen big with child of vengeance now,And till delivered, feel the throws of hell.
MALATESTEJust is your imagination, high and noble,And the brave heat of a true Florentine:For Spain trumpets abroad her interestIn the King's heart, and with a black coal drawsOn every wall your scoffed at injuries,As one that has the refuse of her sheets,And the sick Autumn of the weakened King,Where she drunk pleasures up in the full spring.
QUEENThat, Malateste, that, that torrent wracks me.But Hymen's torch, held downward, shall drop out,And for it, the mad Furies swing their brandsAbout the bride-chamber.
MALATESTEThe priest that joins them,Our twin born malediction.
QUEENLoud it may speak.
MALATESTEThe herbs and flowers to strew the wedding way,Be cypress, eugh, cold colliquintida. <58>
QUEENHerbane and poppy, and that magical weedWhich hags at midnight watch to catch the seed. <59>
MALATESTETo these our execrations, and what mischiefHell can but hatch in a distracted brain,I'll be the executioner, though it lookSo horrid it can fright even murder back.
QUEENPoison his whore today, for thou shalt waitOn the King's cup, and when heated with wineHe calls to drink the bride's health, marry herAlive to a gaping grave.
MALATESTEAt board?
QUEENAt board.
MALATESTEWhen she being guarded round about with friends,Like a fairy land, hemmed with rocks and seas,What rescue shall I find?
QUEENMine arms. Dost faint?Stood all the Pyrenean hills that partSpain and our country, on each others shoulders,Burning with Aetnean flame, yet thou should'st on,As being my steel of resolution,First striking sparkles from my flinty breast.Wert thou to catch the horses of the sunFast by their bridles, and to turn back day,Would'st thou not do it, base coward, to make wayTo the Italians second bliss, revenge?
MALATESTEWere my bones threatened to the wheel of tortureI'll do it.
Enter Lopez.
QUEENA raven's voice, and it likes me well.
LOPEZThe King expects your presence.
MALATESTESo, so we come.To turn this bride's day to a day of doom.
Exeunt.
A banquet set out, cornets sounding; enter at one door, Lopez, Valasco, Alanzo, No. After them King, Cardinal, with Don Cockadillio, Bridegroom, Queen and Malateste after. At the other door, Alba, Carlo, Roderigo, Medina and Daenia leading Onaelia as bride, Cornego, and Juanna after, Balthazar alone. The Bride and Bridegroom kiss, and by the Cardinal are joined hand in hand. The King is very merry, hugging Medina very lovingly.
KINGFor half Spain's weigh in ingots I'd not loseThis little man today.
MEDINANot for so muchTwice told Sir, would I miss your Kingly presence.Mine eyes have lost the acquaintance of your faceSo long, and I so little late read o'erThat index of the royal book your mind,That scarce, without your comment, can I tellWhen in those leaves you turn o'er smiles or frowns.
KING'Tis dimness of your sight, no fault i'the letter.Medina, you shall find that free from erratas,And for a proof, if I could breathe my heartIn welcome forth, this hall should ring naught else.Welcome Medina, Good Marquis Daenia,Dons of Spain all welcome.My dearest love and Queen, be it your placeTo entertain the bride, and do her grace.
QUEENWith all the love I can, whose fire is such,To give her heat, I cannot burn too much.
KINGContracted bride, and bridegroom sit,Sweet flowers not plucked in season lose their scent,So will our pleasures. Father Cardinal,Methinks this morning new begins our reign.
CARDINALPeace had her Sabbath ne'r till now in Spain.
KINGWhere is our noble soldier Balthazar?So close in conference with that Signor?
NONo.
KINGWhat think'st thou of this great day Balthazar?
BALTHAZAR Of this day? Why as of a new play, if it ends well, all's well. All but men are but actors, now if you being the King should be out of your part, or the Queen out of hers, or your Dons out if theirs, here's No will never be out of his.