V.As he came within striking distance of 262 Eaton Square he had the advantage of an unusual and brilliant spectacle.Lord Woldo was one of the richest human beings in England--and incidentally he was very human. If he had been in a position to realise all his assets and go to America with the ready money, his wealth was such that even amid the luxurious society of Pittsburg he could have cut quite a figure for some time. He owned a great deal of the land between Oxford Street and Regent Street, and again a number of the valuable squares north of Oxford Street were his, and as for Edgware Road--just as auctioneers advertise a couple of miles of trout-stream or salmon-river as a pleasing adjunct to a country estate, so, had Lord Woldo's estate come under the hammer, a couple of miles of Edgware Road might have been advertised as among its charms. Lord Woldo owned four theatres, and to each theatre he had his private entrance, and in each theatre his private box, over which the management had no sway. The Woldos in their leases had always insisted on this.He never built in London; his business was to let land for others to build upon, the condition being that what others built should ultimately belong to him. Thousands of people in London were only too delighted to build on these terms: he could pick and choose his builders. (The astute Edward Henry himself, for example, wanted furiously to build for him, and was angry because obstacles stood in the path of his desire.) It was constantly happening that under legal agreements some fine erection put up by another hand came into the absolute possession of Lord Woldo without one halfpenny of expense to Lord Woldo. Now and then a whole street would thus tumble all complete into his hands. The system, most agreeable for Lord Woldo and about a dozen other landlords in London, was called the leasehold system; and when Lord Woldo became the proprietor of some bricks and mortar that had cost him nothing, it was said that one of Lord Woldo's leases had "fallen in," and everybody was quite satisfied by this phrase.In the provinces, besides castles, forests, and moors, Lord Woldo owned many acres of land under which was coal, and he allowed enterprising persons to dig deep for this coal, and often explode themselves to death in the adventure, on the understanding that they paid him sixpence for every ton of coal brought to the surface, whether they made any profit on it or not. This arrangement was called "mining rights"--another phrase that apparently satisfied everybody.It might be thought that Lord Woldo was, as they say, on velvet. But the velvet, if it could be so described, was not of so rich and comfortable a pile after all; for Lord Woldo's situation involved many and heavy responsibilities, and was surrounded by grave dangers. He was the representative of an old order going down in the unforeseeable welter of twentieth-century politics. Numbers of thoughtful students of English conditions spent much of their time in wondering what would happen one day to the Lord Woldos of England. And when a really great strike came, and a dozen ex-artisans met in a private room of a West End hotel and decided, without consulting Lord Woldo, or the Prime Minister, or anybody, that the commerce of the country should be brought to a standstill, these thoughtful students perceived that even Lord Woldo's situation was no more secure than other people's; in fact, that it was rather less so.There could be no doubt that the circumstances of Lord Woldo furnished him with food for thought, and very indigestible food too.... Why, at least one hundred sprightly female creatures were being brought up in the hope of marrying him. And they would all besiege him, and he could only marry one of them--at once!Now, as Edward Henry stopped as near to No. 262 as the presence of a waiting two-horse carriage permitted, he saw a gray-haired and blue-cloaked woman solemnly descending the steps of the portico of No. 262. She was followed by another similar woman, and watched by a butler and a footman at the summit of the steps, and by a footman on the pavement, and by the coachman on the box of the carriage. She carried a thick and lovely white shawl, and in this shawl was Lord Woldo and all his many and heavy responsibilities. It was his fancy to take the air thus, in the arms of a woman. He allowed himself to be lifted into the open carriage, and the door of the carriage was shut; and off went the two ancient horses, slowly, and the two adult fat men and the two mature spinsters, and the vehicle weighing about a ton; and Lord Woldo's morning promenade had begun."Follow that!" said Edward Henry to the chauffeur, and nipped into his brougham again. Nobody had told him that the being in the shawl was Lord Woldo, but he was sure that it must be so.In twenty minutes he saw Lord Woldo being carried to and fro amid the groves of Hyde Park (one of the few bits of London earth that did not belong to him nor to his more or less distant connections) while the carriage waited. Once Lord Woldo sat on a chair, but the chief nurse's lap was between him and the chair-seat. Both nurses chattered to him in Kensingtonian accents, but he offered no replies."Go back to 262," said Edward Henry to his chauffeur.Arrived again in Eaton Square, he did not give himself time to be imposed upon by the grandiosity of the square in general nor of No. 262 in particular. He just ran up the steps and rang the visitors' bell."After all," he said to himself as he waited, "these houses aren't even semi detached! They're just houses in a row, and I bet every one of 'em can hear the piano next door!"The butler whom he had previously caught sight of opened the great portal."I want to see Lady Woldo.""Her ladyship--" began the formidable official."Now look here my man," said Edward Henry rather in desperation, "I must see Lady Woldo instantly. It's about the baby--""About his lordship?""Yes. And look lively, please."He stepped into the sombre and sumptuous hall."Well," he reflected, "I am going it--no mistake!"VI.He was in a large back drawing-room, of which the window, looking north, was in rich stained glass. "No doubt because they're ashamed of the view," he said to himself. The size of the chimneypiece impressed him, and also its rich carving. "But what an old-fashioned grate!" he said to himself. "They need gilt radiators here." The doorway was a marvel of ornate sculpture, and he liked it. He liked too the effect of the oil-paintings--mainly portraits--on the walls, and the immensity of the brass fender, and the rugs, and the leatherwork of the chairs. But there could be no question that the room was too dark for the taste of any householder clever enough to know the difference between a house and a church.There was a plunging noise at the door behind him."What's amiss?" he heard a woman's voice. And as he heard it he thrilled with sympathetic vibrations. It was not a North Staffordshire voice, but it was a South Yorkshire voice, which is almost the same thing. It seemed to him to be the first un-Kensingtonian voice to soothe his ears since he had left the Five Towns. Moreover, nobody born south of the Trent would have said, "What's amiss?" A Southerner would have said, "What's the matter?" Or, more probably, "What's the mattah?"He turned and saw a breathless and very beautiful woman of about twenty-nine or thirty, clothed in black, and she was in the act of removing from her lovely head what looked like a length of red flannel. He noticed too, simultaneously, that she was suffering from a heavy cold. A majestic footman behind her closed the door and disappeared."Are you Lady Woldo?" Edward Henry asked."Yes," she said. "What's this about my baby?""I've just seen him in Hyde Park," said Edward Henry. "And I observed that a rash had broken out all over his face.""I know that," she replied. "It began this morning, all of a sudden like. But what of it? I was rather alarmed myself, as it's the first rash he's had, and he's the first baby I've had--and he'll be the last too. But everybody said it was nothing. He's never been out without me before, but I had such a cold. Now, you don't mean to tell me that you've come down specially from Hyde Park to inform me about that rash. I'm not such a simpleton as all that." She spoke in one long breath."I'm sure you're not," said he. "But we've had a good deal of rash in our family, and it just happens that I've got a remedy--a good, sound, north-country remedy, and it struck me you might like to know of it. So, if you like, I'll telegraph to my missis for the recipe. Here's my card."She read his name, title, and address."Well," she said, "it's very kind of you, I'm sure, Mr. Machin. I knew you must come from up there the moment ye spoke. It does one good above a bit to hear a plain north-country voice after all this fal-lalling."She blew her lovely nose."Doesn't it!" Edward Henry agreed. "That was just what I thought when I heard you say 'Bless us!' Do you know, I've been in London only a two-three days, and I assure you I was beginning to feel lonely for a bit of the Midland accent!""Yes," she said, "London's lonely!" and sighed."My eldest was bitten by a dog the other day," he went on in the vein of gossip."Oh, don't!" she protested."Yes. Gave us a lot of anxiety. All right now! You might like to know that cyanide gauze is a good thing to put on a wound--supposing anything should happen to yours--""Oh, don't!" she protested. "I do hope and pray Robert will never be bitten by a dog. Was it a big dog?""Fair," said Edward Henry. "So his name's Robert! So's my eldest's!""Really now! They wanted him to be called Robert Philip Stephen Darrand Patrick. But I wouldn't have it. He's just Robert. I did have my own waythere! You know he was born six months after his father's death.""And I suppose he's ten months now?""No; only six.""Great Scott! He's big!" said Edward Henry."Well," said she, "he is. I am, you see.""Now, Lady Woldo," said Edward Henry in a new tone, "as we're both from the same part of the country, I want to be perfectly straight and above board with you. It's quite true--all that about the rash. And Ididthink you'd like to know. But that's not really what I came to see you about. You understand, not knowing you, I fancied there might be some difficulty in getting at you--""Oh, no!" she said simply. "Everybody gets at me.""Well, I didn't know, you see. So I just mentioned the baby to begin with, like!""I hope you're not after money," she said almost plaintively."I'm not," he said. "You can ask anybody in Bursley or Hanbridge whether I'm the sort of man to go out on the cadge.""I once was in the chorus in a panto at Hanbridge," she said. "Don't they call Bursley 'Bosley' down there--'owd Bosley'?"Edward Henry dealt suitably with these remarks, and then gave her a judicious version of the nature of his business, referring several time to Mr. Rollo Wrissell."Mr. Wrissell!" she murmured, smiling."In the end I told Mr. Wrissell to go and bury himself," said Edward Henry. "And that's about as far as I've got.""Oh, don't!" she said, her voice weak from suppressed laughter, and then the laughter burst forth uncontrollable."Yes," he said, delighted with himself and her, "I told him to go and bury himself!""I suppose you don't like Mr. Wrissell?""Well--" he temporised."I didn't at first," she said. "I hated him. But I like him now, though I must say I adore teasing him. Mr. Wrissell is what I call a gentleman. You know he was Lord Woldo's heir. And when Lord Woldo married me it was a bit of a blow for him! But he took it like a lamb. He never turned a hair, and he was more polite than any of them. I dare say you know Lord Woldo saw me in a musical comedy at Scarborough--he has a place near there, ye know. Mr. Wrissell had made him angry about some of his New Thought fads, and I do believe he asked me to marry him just to annoy Mr. Wrissell. He used to say to me, my husband did, that he'd married me in too much of a hurry, and that it was too bad on Mr. Wrissell. And then he laughed, and I laughed too. 'After all,' he used to say, my husband did, 'to marry an actress is an accident that might happen to any member of the House of Lords; and it does happen to a lot of 'em, but they don't marry anything as beautiful as you, Blanche,' he used to say. 'And you stick up for yourself, Blanche,' he used to say. 'I'll stand by you,' he said. He was a straight 'un, my husband was."They left me alone until he died. And then they began--I meanhisfolks. And when Bobby was born it got worse. Only I must say even then Mr. Wrissell never turned a hair. Everybody seemed to make out that I ought to be very grateful to him, and I ought to think myself very lucky. Me--a peeress of the realm! They wanted me to change. But how could I change? I was Blanche Wilmot, on the road for ten years,--never got a show in London,--and Blanche Wilmot I shall ever be, peeress or no peeress! It was no joke being Lord Woldo's wife, I can tell you; and it's still less of a joke being Lord Woldo's mother. You imagine it. It's worse than carrying about a china vase all the time on a slippery floor. Am I any happier now than I was before I married? Well, Iam! There's more worry in one way, but there's less in another. And of course I've got Bobby! But it isn't all beer and skittles, and I let 'em know it, too. I can't do what I like. And I'm just a sort of exile, you know. I used to enjoy being on the stage, and showing myself off. A hard life, but one does enjoy it. And one gets used to it. One gets to need it. Sometimes I feel I'd give anything to be able to go on the stage again--oh--oh--!"She sneezed; then took breath."Shall I put some more coal on the fire?" Edward Henry suggested."Perhaps I'd better ring," she hesitated."No, I'll do it."He put coal on the fire."And if you'd feel easier with that flannel round your head, please do put it on again.""Well," she said, "I will. My mother used to say there was naught like red flannel for a cold."With an actress' skill she arranged the flannel, and from its encircling folds her face emerged bewitching--and she knew it. Her complexion had suffered in ten years of the road, but its extreme beauty could not yet be denied. And Edward Henry thought: "All thereallypretty girls come from the Midlands!""Here I am rambling on," she said. "I always was a rare rambler. What do you want me to do?""Exert your influence," he replied. "Don't you think it's rather hard on Rose Euclid--treating her like this? Of course people say all sorts of things about Rose Euclid--""I won't hear a word against Rose Euclid," cried Lady Woldo. "Whenever she was on tour, if she knew any of us were resting in the town where she was, she'd send us seats. And many's the time I've cried and cried at her acting. And then she's the life and soul of the Theatrical Ladies' Guild.""And isn't that your husband's signature?" he demanded, showing the precious option."Of course it is."He did not show her the covering letter."And I've no doubt my husbandwanteda theatre built there, and he wanted to do Rose Euclid a good turn. And I'm quite positive certain sure that he didn't want any of Mr. Wrissell's rigmaroles on his land. He wasn't that sort, my husband wasn't.... You must go to law about it," she finished."Yes," said Edward Henry protestingly. "And a pretty penny it would cost me! And supposing I lost, after all? ... You never know. There's a much easier way than going to law.""What is it?""As I say, you exert your influence, Lady Woldo. Write and tell them I've seen you and you insist--""Eh! Bless you! They'd twist me round their little finger. I'm not a fool, but I'm not very clever; I know that. I shouldn't know whether I was standing on my head or my heels by the time they'd done with me. I've tried to face them out before--about things.""Who, Mr. Wrissell or Slossons?""Both! Eh, but I should like to put a spoke in Mr. Wrissell's wheel, gentleman as he is. You see, he's just one of those men you can't help wanting to tease. When you're on the road you meet lots of 'em.""I tell you what you can do!""What?""Write and tell Slossons that you don't wish them to act for you any more, and you'll go to another firm of solicitors. That would bring 'em to their senses.""Can't! They're in the will.Hesettled that. That's why they're so cocky."Edward Henry persisted, and this time with an exceedingly impressive and conspiratorial air:"I tell you another thing you could do--you reallycoulddo--and it depends on nobody but yourself.""Well," she said with decision, "I'll do it.""Whatever it is?""If it's straight.""Of course it's straight. And it would be a grand way of teasing Mr. Wrissell and all of 'em! A simply grand way! I should die of laughing.""Well--"At this critical point the historic conversation was interrupted by phenomena in the hall which Lady Woldo recognised with feverish excitement. Lord Woldo had safely returned from Hyde Park. Starting up, she invited Edward Henry to wait a little. A few moments later they were bending over the infant together, and Edward Henry was offering his views on the cause and cure of rash.VII.Early on the same afternoon Edward Henry managed by a somewhat excessive obstreperousness to penetrate once more into the private room of Mr. Slosson, senior, who received him in silence.He passed a document to Mr. Slosson."It's only a copy," he said, "but the original is in my pocket, and to-morrow it will be duly stamped. I'll give you the original in exchange for the stamped lease of my Piccadilly Circus plot of land. You know the money is waiting."Mr. Slosson perused the document; and it was certainly to his credit that he did so without any superficial symptoms of dismay."What will Mr. Wrissell and the Woldo family say about that, do you think?" asked Edward Henry."Lady Woldo will never be allowed to carry it out," said Mr. Slosson."Who's going to stop her? She must carry it out. She wants to carry it out. She's dying to carry it out. Moreover, I shall communicate it to the papers to-night--unless you and I come to an arrangement. And if by any chance she doesn't carry it out--well, there'll be a fine society action about it, you can bet your boots, Mr. Slosson."The document was a contract made between Blanche Lady Woldo of the one part and Edward Henry Machin of the other part, whereby Blanche Lady Woldo undertook to appear in musical comedy at any West End theatre to be named by Edward Henry, at a salary of two hundred pounds a week, for the period of six months."You've not got a theatre," said Mr. Slosson."I can get half a dozen in an hour--with that contract in my hand," said Edward Henry.And he knew from Mr. Slosson's face that he had won.VIII.That evening, feeling that he had earned a little recreation, he went to the Empire Theatre--not in Hanbridge, but in Leicester Square, London. The lease, with a prodigious speed hitherto unknown at Slossons, had been drawn up, engrossed, and executed. The Piccadilly Circus land was his for sixty-four years."And I've got the old chapel pulled down for nothing," he said to himself.He was rather happy as he wandered about amid the brilliance of the Empire Promenade. But after half an hour of such exercise, and of vain efforts to see or hear what was afoot on the stage, he began to feel rather lonely. Then it was that he caught sight of Mr. Alloyd the architect, also lonely."Well," said Mr. Alloyd curtly, with a sardonic smile, "they've telephoned me all about it. I've seen Mr. Wrissell. Just my luck! So you're the man! He pointed you out to me this morning. My design for that church would have knocked the West End! Of course Mr. Wrissell will pay me compensation, but that's not the same thing. I wanted the advertisement of the building.... Just my luck! Have a drink, will you?"Edward Henry ultimately went with the plaintive Mr. Alloyd to his rooms in Adelphi Terrace. He quitted those rooms at something after two o'clock in the morning. He had practically given Mr. Alloyd a definite commission to design the Regent Theatre. Already he was practically the proprietor of a first-class theatre in the West End of London!"I wonder whether Master Seven Sachs could have bettered my day's work to-day!" he reflected as he got into a taxicab. He had dismissed his electric brougham earlier in the evening. "I doubt if even Master Seven Sachs himself wouldn't be proud of my little scheme in Eaton Square!" said he.... "Wilkins's Hotel, please, driver."THE OLD ADAMPART IICHAPTER VIICORNER-STONEI.On a morning in spring Edward Henry got out of an express at Euston, which had come, not from the Five Towns, but from Birmingham. Having on the previous day been called to Birmingham on local and profitable business, he had found it convenient to spend the night there and telegraph home that London had summoned him. It was in this unostentatious, this half-furtive fashion, that his visits to London now usually occurred. Not that he was afraid of his wife! Not that he was afraid even of his mother! Oh, no! He was merely rather afraid of himself,--of his own opinion concerning the metropolitan, non-local, speculative, and perhaps unprofitable business to which he was committed. The fact was that he could scarcely look his women in the face when he mentioned London. He spoke vaguely of "real estate" enterprise, and left it at that. The women made no enquiries; they too, left it at that. Nevertheless....The episode of Wilkins's was buried, but it was imperfectly buried. The Five Towns definitely knew that he had stayed at Wilklns's for a bet, and that Brindley had discharged the bet. And rumours of his valet, his electric brougham, his theatrical supper-parties, had mysteriously hung in the streets of the Five Towns like a strange vapour. Wisps of the strange vapour had conceivably entered the precincts of his home, but nobody ever referred to them; nobody ever sniffed apprehensively, nor asked anybody else whether there was not a smell of fire. The discreetness of the silence was disconcerting. Happily his relations with that angel, his wife, were excellent. She had carried angelicism so far as not to insist on the destruction of Carlo; and she had actually applauded, while sticking to her white apron, the sudden and startling extravagances of his toilette.On the whole, though little short of thirty-five thousand pounds would ultimately be involved,--not to speak of liability of nearly three thousand a year for sixty-four years for ground-rent,--Edward Henry was not entirely gloomy as to his prospects. He was indubitably thinner in girth; novel problems and anxieties, and the constant annoyance of being in complete technical ignorance of his job, had removed some flesh. (And not a bad thing either!) But, on the other hand, his chin exhibited one proof that life was worth living, and that he had discovered new faith in life and a new conviction of youthfulness.He had shaved off his beard."Well, sir!" a voice greeted him full of hope and cheer, immediately his feet touched the platform.It was the voice of Mr. Marrier. Edward Henry and Mr. Marrier were now in regular relations. Before Edward Henry had paid his final bill at Wilkins's and relinquished his valet and his electric brougham, and disposed forever of his mythical "man" on board theMinnetonka, and got his original luggage away from the Hotel Majestic, Mr. Marrier had visited him and made a certain proposition. And such was the influence of Mr. Marrier's incurable smile, and of his solid optimism, and of his obvious talent for getting things done on the spot (as witness the photography), that the proposition had been accepted. Mr. Marrier was now Edward Henry's "representative" in London. At the Green Room Club Mr. Marrier informed reliable cronies that he was Edward Henry's "confidential adviser." At the Turk's Head, Hanbridge, Edward Henry informed reliable cronies that Mr. Marrier was a sort of clerk, factotum, or maid of all work. A compromise between these two very different conceptions of Mr. Marrier's position had been arrived at in the word "representative." The real truth was that Edward Henry employed Mr. Marrier in order to listen to Mr. Marrier. He turned to Mr. Marrier like a tap, and nourished himself from a gushing stream of useful information concerning the theatrical world. Mr. Marrier, quite unconsciously, was bit by bit remedying Edward Henry's acute ignorance.The question of wages had caused Edward Henry some apprehension. He had learnt in a couple of days that a hundred pounds a week was a trifle on the stage. He had soon heard of performers who worked for "nominal" salaries of forty and fifty a week. For a manager twenty pounds a week seemed to be a usual figure. But in the Five Towns three pounds a week is regarded as very goodish pay for any subordinate, and Edward Henry could not rid himself all at once of native standards. He had therefore, with diffidence, offered three pounds a week to the aristocratic Marrier. And Mr. Marrier had not refused it, nor ceased to smile. On three pounds a week he haunted the best restaurants, taxicabs, and other resorts, and his garb seemed always to be smarter than Edward Henry's, especially in such details as waistcoat slips.Of course Mr. Marrier had a taxicab waiting exactly opposite the coach from which Edward Henry descended. It was just this kind of efficient attention that was gradually endearing him to his employer."How goes it?" said Edward Henry curtly, as they drove down to the Grand Babylon Hotel, now Edward Henry's regular headquarters in London.Said Mr. Marrier:"I suppose you've seen another of 'em's got a knighthood?""No," said Edward Henry. "Who?" He knew that by "'em" Mr. Marrier meant the great race of actor-managers."Gerald Pompey. Something to do with him being a sheriff in the City, you know. I bet you what you laike he went in for the Common Council simply in order to get even with old Pilgrim. In fact, I know he did. And now a foundation-stone-laying has dan it!""A foundation-stone-laying?""Yes. The new City Guild's building, you knaow. Royalty--Temple Bar business--sheriffs--knighthood. There you are!""Oh!" said Edward Henry. And then after a pause added: "Pitywecan't have a foundation-stone-laying!""By the way, old Pilgrim's in the deuce and all of a haole, I heah. It's all over the Clubs." (In speaking of the Clubs, Mr. Marrier always pronounced them with a Capital letter.) "I told you he was going to sail from Tilbury on his world-tour, and have a grand embarking ceremony and seeing-off! Just laike him! Greatest advertiser the world ever saw! Well, since that P. and O. boat was lost on the Goodwins, Cora Pryde has absolutely declined to sail from Tilbury. Ab-so-lute-ly! Swears she'll join the steamer at Marseilles. And Pilgrim has got to go with her, too.""Why?""Well, even Pilgrim couldn't have a grand embarking ceremony without his leading lady! He's furious, I hear.""Why shouldn't he go with her?""Why not? Because he's formally announced his grand embarking ceremony! Invitations are out. Barge from London Bridge to Tilbury, and so on! What he wants is a good excuse for giving it up. He'd never be able to admit that he'd had to give it up because Cora Pryde made him! He wants to save his face.""Well," said Edward Henry absently, "it's a queer world. You've got me a room at the Grand Bab?""Rather!""Then let's go and have a look at the Regent first," said Edward Henry.No sooner had he expressed the wish than Mr. Marrier's neck curved round through the window, and with three words to the chauffeur he had deflected the course of the taxi.Edward Henry had an almost boyish curiosity about his edifice. He would go and give it a glance at the oddest moments. And just now he had a swift and violent desire to behold it. With all speed the taxi shot down Shaftesbury Avenue and swerved to the right....There it was! Yes, it really existed, the incredible edifice of his caprice and of Mr. Alloyd's constructive imagination! It had already reached a height of fifteen feet; and, dozens of yards above that, cranes dominated the sunlit air, swinging loads of bricks in the azure; and scores of workmen crawled about beneath these monsters. And he, Edward Henry, by a single act of volition was the author of it! He slipped from the taxi, penetrated within the wall of hoardings, and gazed, just gazed! A wondrous thing--human enterprise! And also a terrifying thing! ... That building might be the tomb of his reputation. On the other hand it might be the seed of a new renown compared to which the first would be as naught! He turned his eyes away, in fear--yes, in fear!"I say," he said, "will Sir John Pilgrim be out of bed yet, d'ye think?" He glanced at his watch. The hour was about eleven."He'll be at breakfast.""I'm going to see him, then. What's his address?""Twenty-five Queen Anne's Gate. But do you knaow him? I do. Shall I cam with you?""No," said Edward Henry shortly. "You go on with my bags to the Grand Bab, and get me another taxi. I'll see you in my room at the hotel at a quarter to one. Eh?""Rather!" agreed Mr. Marrier, submissive.II."Sole proprietor of the Regent Theatre."These were the words which Edward Henry wrote on a visiting-card, and which procured him immediate admittance to the unique spectacle--reputed to be one of the most enthralling sights in London--of Sir John Pilgrim at breakfast.In a very spacious front room of his flat (so celebrated for its Gobelins tapestries and its truly wonderful parquet flooring) sat Sir John Pilgrim at a large hexagonal mahogany table. At one side of the table a small square of white diaper was arranged, and on this square were an apparatus for boiling eggs, another for making toast, and a third for making coffee. Sir John, with the assistance of a young Chinaman and a fox-terrier who flitted around him, was indeed eating and drinking. The vast remainder of the table was gleamingly bare, save for newspapers and letters, opened and unopened, which Sir John tossed about. Opposite to him sat a secretary whose fluffy hair, neat white chemisette, and tender years gave her an appearance of helpless fragility in front of the powerful and ruthless celebrity. Sir John's crimson-socked left foot stuck out from the table, emerging from the left half of a lovely new pair of brown trousers, and resting on a piece of white paper. Before this white paper knelt a man in a frock-coat, who was drawing an outline on the paper round Sir John's foot."Youarea bootmaker, aren't you?" Sir John was saying airily."Yes, Sir John.""Excuse me!" said Sir John. "I only wanted to be sure. I fancied from the way you caressed my corn with that pencil that you might be an artist on one of the illustrated papers. My mistake!" He was bending down. Then suddenly straightening himself he called across the room: "I say, Givington, did you notice my pose then--my expression as I used the word 'caressed'? How would that do?"And Edward Henry now observed in a corner of the room a man standing in front of an easel and sketching somewhat grossly thereon in charcoal. This man said:"If you won't bother me, Sir John, I won't bother you.""Ah! Givington! Ah! Givington!" murmured Sir John still more airily--at breakfast he was either airy or nothing. "You're getting on in the world. You aren't merely an A.R.A.--you're making money. A year ago you'd never have had the courage to address me in that tone. Well, I sincerely congratulate you.... Here, Snip, here's my dentist's bill--worry it, worry it! Good dog! Worry it!"(The dog growled now over a torn document beneath the table.)"Miss Taft, you might see that acommuniquégoes out to the effect that I gave my first sitting to Mr. Saracen Givington, A.R.A., this morning. The activities of Mr. Saracen Givington are of interest to the world, and rightly so! You'd better come round to the other side for the right foot, Mr. Bootmaker. The journey is simply nothing."And then, and not till then, did Sir John Pilgrim turn his large and handsome middle-aged blond face in the direction of Alderman Edward Henry Machin."Pardon my curiosity," said Sir John, "but who are you?""My name is Machin--Alderman Machin," said Edward Henry. "I sent up my card and you asked me to come in.""Ha!" Sir John exclaimed, seizing an egg. "Will you crack an egg with me, Alderman? I can crack an egg with anybody.""Thanks," said Edward Henry. "I'll be very glad to." And he advanced towards the table.Sir John hesitated. The fact was that, though he dissembled his dismay with marked histrionic skill, he was unquestionably overwhelmed by astonishment. In the course of years he had airily invited hundreds of callers to crack an egg with him,--the joke was one of his favourites,--but nobody had ever ventured to accept the invitation."Chung," he said weakly, "lay a cover for the alderman."Edward Henry sat down quite close to Sir John. He could discern all the details of Sir John's face and costume. The tremendous celebrity was wearing a lounge suit somewhat like his own, but instead of the coat--he had a blue dressing-jacket with crimson facings; the sleeves ended in rather long wristbands, which were unfastened, the opal cuff-links drooping each from a single hole. Perhaps for the first time in his life Edward Henry intimately understood what idiosyncratic elegance was. He could almost feel the emanating personality of Sir John Pilgrim, and he was intimidated by it; he was intimidated by its hardness, its harshness, its terrific egotism, its utterly brazen quality. Sir John's glance was the most purely arrogant that Edward Henry had ever encountered. It knew no reticence. And Edward Henry thought: "When this chap dies he'll want to die in public, with the reporters round his bed and a private secretary taking down messages.""This is rather a lark," said Sir John, recovering."It is," said Edward Henry, who now felicitously perceived that a lark it indeed was, and ought to be treated as such. "It shall be a lark!" he said to himself.Sir John dictated a letter to Miss Taft, and before the letter was finished the grinning Chung had laid a place for Edward Henry, and Snip had inspected him and passed him for one of the right sort."Had I said that this is rather a lark?" Sir John enquired, the letter accomplished."I forget," said Edward Henry."Because I don't like to say the same thing twice over if I can help it. It is a lark though, isn't it?""Undoubtedly," said Edward Henry, decapitating an egg. "I only hope that I'm not interrupting you.""Not in the least," said Sir John. "Breakfast is my sole free time. In another half-hour, I assure you, I shall be attending to three or four things at once." He leant over towards Edward Henry. "But between you and me, Alderman, quite privately, if it isn't a rude question, what did you come for?""Well," said Edward Henry, "as I wrote on my card, I'm the sole proprietor of the Regent Theatre--""But there is no Regent Theatre," Sir John interrupted him."No; not strictly. But there will be. It's in course of construction. We're up to the first floor.""Dear me! A suburban theatre, no doubt?""Do you mean to say, Sir John," cried Edward Henry, "that you haven't noticed it. It's within a few yards of Piccadilly Circus.""Really!" said Sir John. "You see my theatre is in Lower Regent Street, and I never go to Piccadilly Circus. I make a point of not going to Piccadilly Circus. Miss Taft, how long is it since I went to Piccadilly Circus? Forgive me, young woman, I was forgetting--you aren't old enough to remember. Well, never mind details.... And what is there remarkable about the Regent Theatre, Alderman?""I intend it to be a theatre of the highest class, Sir John," said Edward Henry. "Nothing but the very best will be seen on its boards.""That's not remarkable, Alderman. We're all like that. Haven't you noticed it?""Then, secondly," said Edward Henry, "I am the sole proprietor. I have no financial backers, no mortgages, no partners. I have made no contracts with anybody.""That," said Sir John, "is not unremarkable. In fact, many persons who do not happen to possess my own robust capacity for belief might not credit your statement.""And thirdly," said Edward Henry, "every member of the audience--even in the boxes, the most expensive seats--will have a full view of the whole of the stage--or, in the alternative, at matinées, a full view of a lady's hat.""Alderman," said Sir John gravely, "before I offer you another egg, let me warn you against carrying remarkableness too far. You may be regarded as eccentric if you go on like that. Some people, I am told, don't want a view of the stage.""Then they had better not come to my theatre," said Edward Henry."All which," commented Sir John, "gives me no clue whatever to the reason why you are sitting here by my side and calmly eating my eggs and toast and drinking my coffee."Admittedly, Edward Henry was nervous. Admittedly, he was a provincial in the presence of one of the most illustrious personages of the empire. Nevertheless he controlled his nervousness, and reflected:"Nobody else from the Five Towns would or could have done what I am doing. Moreover, this chap is a mountebank. In the Five Towns they would kowtow to him, but they would laugh at him. They would mighty soon addhimup. Why should I be nervous? I'm as good as he is." He finished with the thought which has inspired many a timid man with new courage in a desperate crisis: "The fellow can't eat me."Then he said aloud:"I want to ask you a question, Sir John.""One?""One. Are you the head of the theatrical profession, or is Sir Gerald Pompey?""SirGerald Pompey?""SirGerald Pompey. Haven't you seen the papers this morning?"Sir John Pilgrim turned pale. Springing up, he seized the topmost of an undisturbed pile of daily papers and feverishly opened it."Bah!" he muttered.He was continually thus imitating his own behaviour on the stage. The origin of his renowned breakfasts lay in the fact that he had once played the part of a millionaire ambassador who juggled at breakfast with his own affairs and the affairs of the world. The stage breakfast of a millionaire ambassador created by a playwright on the verge of bankruptcy had appealed to his imagination and influenced all the mornings of his life."They've done it just to irritate me as I'm starting off on my world's tour," he muttered, coursing round the table. Then he stopped and gazed at Edward Henry. "This is a political knighthood," said he. "It has nothing to do with the stage. It is not like my knighthood, is it?""Certainly not," Edward Henry agreed. "But you know how people will talk, Sir John. People will be going about this very morning and saying that Sir Gerald is at last the head of the theatrical profession. I came here for your authoritative opinion. I know you're unbiased."Sir John resumed his chair."As for Pompey's qualifications as a head," he murmured, "I know nothing of them. I fancy his heart is excellent. I only saw him twice, once in his own theatre, and once in Bond Street. I should be inclined to say that on the stage he looks more like a gentleman than any gentleman ought to look, and that in the street he might be mistaken for an actor.... How will that suit you?""It's a clue," said Edward Henry."Alderman," exclaimed Sir John, "I believe that if I didn't keep a firm hand on myself I should soon begin to like you! Have another cup of coffee. Chung! ... Good-bye, Bootmaker, good-bye!""I only want to know for certain who is the head," said Edward Henry, "because I mean to invite the head of the theatrical profession to lay the corner-stone of my new theatre.""Ah!""When do you start on your world's tour, Sir John?""I leave Tilbury with my entire company, scenery and effects, on the morning of Tuesday week, by theKandahar. I shall play first in Cairo.""How awkward!" said Edward Henry. "I meant to ask you to lay the stone on the very next afternoon--Wednesday, that is!""Indeed!""Yes, Sir John. The ceremony will be a very original affair--very original!""A foundation-stone-laying!" mused Sir John. "But if you're already up to the first floor, how can you be laying the foundation-stone on Wednesday week?""I didn't say foundation-stone. I said corner-stone," Edward Henry corrected him. "An entire novelty! That's why we can't be ready before Wednesday week.""And you want to advertise your house by getting the head of the profession to assist?""That is exactly my idea.""Well," said Sir John. "Whatever else you may lack, Mr. Alderman, you are not lacking in nerve, if you expect to succeed inthat."Edward Henry smiled."I have already heard, in a round-about way," he replied, "that Sir Gerald Pompey would not be unwilling to officiate. My only difficulty is that I'm a truthful man by nature. Whoever officiates, I shall of course have to have him labelled, in my own interests, as the head of the theatrical profession, and I don't want to say anything that isn't true."There was a pause."Now, Sir John, couldn't you stay a day or two longer in London and join the ship at Marseilles instead of going on board at Tilbury?""But I have made all my arrangements. The whole world knows that I am going on board at Tilbury."Just then the door opened and a servant announced:"Mr. Carlo Trent."Sir John Pilgrim rushed like a locomotive to the threshold and seized both Carlo Trent's hands with such a violence of welcome that Carlo Trent's eyeglass fell out of his eye and the purple ribbon dangled to his waist."Come in, come in!" said Sir John. "And begin to read at once. I've been looking out of the window for you for the last quarter of an hour. Alderman, this is Mr. Carlo Trent, the well-known dramatic poet. Trent, this is one of the greatest geniuses in London.... Ah! You know each other? It's not surprising! No, don't stop to shake hands. Sit down here, Trent. Sit down on this chair.... Here, Snip, take his hat. Worry it! Worry it! Now, Trent, don't read tome. It might make you nervous and hurried. Read to Miss Taft and Chung, and to Mr. Givington over there. Imagine that they are the great and enlightened public. You have imagination, haven't you, being a poet?"Sir John had accomplished the change of mood with the rapidity of a transformation-scene--in which form of art, by the way, he was a great adept.Carlo Trent, somewhat breathless, took a manuscript from his pocket, opened it, and announced: "The Orient Pearl.""Oh!" breathed Edward Henry.For some thirty minutes Edward Henry listened to hexameters, the first he had ever heard. The effect of them on his moral organism was worse even than he had expected. He glanced about at the other auditors. Givington had opened a box of tubes and was spreading colours on his palette. The Chinaman's eyes were closed while his face still grinned. Snip was asleep on the parquet. Miss Taft bit the end of a pencil with her agreeable teeth. Sir John Pilgrim lay at full length on a sofa, occasionally lifting his legs. Edward Henry despaired of help in his great need. But just as his desperation was becoming too acute to be borne, Carlo Trent ejaculated the word "Curtain." It was the first word that Edward Henry had clearly understood."That's the first act," said Carlo Trent, wiping his face. Snip awakened.Edward Henry rose and, in the hush, tiptoed round the sofa."Good-bye, Sir John," he whispered."You're not going?""I am, Sir John."The head of his profession sat up. "How right you are!" said he. "How right you are. Trent, I knew from the first words it wouldn't do. It lacks colour. I want something more crimson, more like the brighter parts of this jacket, something--" He waved hands in the air. "The alderman agrees with me. He's going. Don't trouble to read any more, Trent. But drop in any time--any time. Chung, what o'clock is it?""It is nearly noon," said Edward Henry in the tone of an old friend. "Well, I'm sorry you can't oblige me, Sir John. I'm off to see Sir Gerald Pompey now.""But who says I can't oblige you?" protested Sir John. "Who knows what sacrifices I would not make in the highest interests of the profession? Alderman, you jump to conclusions with the agility of an acrobat, but they are false conclusions! Miss Taft, the telephone! Chung, my coat! Good-bye, Trent, good-bye!"An hour later Edward Henry met Mr. Marrier at the Grand Babylon Hotel."Well, sir," said Mr. Marrier, "you are the greatest man that ever lived!""Why?"Mr. Marrier showed him the stop-press news of a penny evening paper, which read: "Sir John Pilgrim has abandoned his ceremonious departure from Tilbury in order to lay the corner-stone of the new Regent Theatre on Wednesday week. He and Miss Cora Pryde will join theKandaharat Marseilles.""You needn't do any advertaysing," said Mr. Marrier. "Pilgrim will do all the advertaysing for you."
V.
As he came within striking distance of 262 Eaton Square he had the advantage of an unusual and brilliant spectacle.
Lord Woldo was one of the richest human beings in England--and incidentally he was very human. If he had been in a position to realise all his assets and go to America with the ready money, his wealth was such that even amid the luxurious society of Pittsburg he could have cut quite a figure for some time. He owned a great deal of the land between Oxford Street and Regent Street, and again a number of the valuable squares north of Oxford Street were his, and as for Edgware Road--just as auctioneers advertise a couple of miles of trout-stream or salmon-river as a pleasing adjunct to a country estate, so, had Lord Woldo's estate come under the hammer, a couple of miles of Edgware Road might have been advertised as among its charms. Lord Woldo owned four theatres, and to each theatre he had his private entrance, and in each theatre his private box, over which the management had no sway. The Woldos in their leases had always insisted on this.
He never built in London; his business was to let land for others to build upon, the condition being that what others built should ultimately belong to him. Thousands of people in London were only too delighted to build on these terms: he could pick and choose his builders. (The astute Edward Henry himself, for example, wanted furiously to build for him, and was angry because obstacles stood in the path of his desire.) It was constantly happening that under legal agreements some fine erection put up by another hand came into the absolute possession of Lord Woldo without one halfpenny of expense to Lord Woldo. Now and then a whole street would thus tumble all complete into his hands. The system, most agreeable for Lord Woldo and about a dozen other landlords in London, was called the leasehold system; and when Lord Woldo became the proprietor of some bricks and mortar that had cost him nothing, it was said that one of Lord Woldo's leases had "fallen in," and everybody was quite satisfied by this phrase.
In the provinces, besides castles, forests, and moors, Lord Woldo owned many acres of land under which was coal, and he allowed enterprising persons to dig deep for this coal, and often explode themselves to death in the adventure, on the understanding that they paid him sixpence for every ton of coal brought to the surface, whether they made any profit on it or not. This arrangement was called "mining rights"--another phrase that apparently satisfied everybody.
It might be thought that Lord Woldo was, as they say, on velvet. But the velvet, if it could be so described, was not of so rich and comfortable a pile after all; for Lord Woldo's situation involved many and heavy responsibilities, and was surrounded by grave dangers. He was the representative of an old order going down in the unforeseeable welter of twentieth-century politics. Numbers of thoughtful students of English conditions spent much of their time in wondering what would happen one day to the Lord Woldos of England. And when a really great strike came, and a dozen ex-artisans met in a private room of a West End hotel and decided, without consulting Lord Woldo, or the Prime Minister, or anybody, that the commerce of the country should be brought to a standstill, these thoughtful students perceived that even Lord Woldo's situation was no more secure than other people's; in fact, that it was rather less so.
There could be no doubt that the circumstances of Lord Woldo furnished him with food for thought, and very indigestible food too.... Why, at least one hundred sprightly female creatures were being brought up in the hope of marrying him. And they would all besiege him, and he could only marry one of them--at once!
Now, as Edward Henry stopped as near to No. 262 as the presence of a waiting two-horse carriage permitted, he saw a gray-haired and blue-cloaked woman solemnly descending the steps of the portico of No. 262. She was followed by another similar woman, and watched by a butler and a footman at the summit of the steps, and by a footman on the pavement, and by the coachman on the box of the carriage. She carried a thick and lovely white shawl, and in this shawl was Lord Woldo and all his many and heavy responsibilities. It was his fancy to take the air thus, in the arms of a woman. He allowed himself to be lifted into the open carriage, and the door of the carriage was shut; and off went the two ancient horses, slowly, and the two adult fat men and the two mature spinsters, and the vehicle weighing about a ton; and Lord Woldo's morning promenade had begun.
"Follow that!" said Edward Henry to the chauffeur, and nipped into his brougham again. Nobody had told him that the being in the shawl was Lord Woldo, but he was sure that it must be so.
In twenty minutes he saw Lord Woldo being carried to and fro amid the groves of Hyde Park (one of the few bits of London earth that did not belong to him nor to his more or less distant connections) while the carriage waited. Once Lord Woldo sat on a chair, but the chief nurse's lap was between him and the chair-seat. Both nurses chattered to him in Kensingtonian accents, but he offered no replies.
"Go back to 262," said Edward Henry to his chauffeur.
Arrived again in Eaton Square, he did not give himself time to be imposed upon by the grandiosity of the square in general nor of No. 262 in particular. He just ran up the steps and rang the visitors' bell.
"After all," he said to himself as he waited, "these houses aren't even semi detached! They're just houses in a row, and I bet every one of 'em can hear the piano next door!"
The butler whom he had previously caught sight of opened the great portal.
"I want to see Lady Woldo."
"Her ladyship--" began the formidable official.
"Now look here my man," said Edward Henry rather in desperation, "I must see Lady Woldo instantly. It's about the baby--"
"About his lordship?"
"Yes. And look lively, please."
He stepped into the sombre and sumptuous hall.
"Well," he reflected, "I am going it--no mistake!"
VI.
He was in a large back drawing-room, of which the window, looking north, was in rich stained glass. "No doubt because they're ashamed of the view," he said to himself. The size of the chimneypiece impressed him, and also its rich carving. "But what an old-fashioned grate!" he said to himself. "They need gilt radiators here." The doorway was a marvel of ornate sculpture, and he liked it. He liked too the effect of the oil-paintings--mainly portraits--on the walls, and the immensity of the brass fender, and the rugs, and the leatherwork of the chairs. But there could be no question that the room was too dark for the taste of any householder clever enough to know the difference between a house and a church.
There was a plunging noise at the door behind him.
"What's amiss?" he heard a woman's voice. And as he heard it he thrilled with sympathetic vibrations. It was not a North Staffordshire voice, but it was a South Yorkshire voice, which is almost the same thing. It seemed to him to be the first un-Kensingtonian voice to soothe his ears since he had left the Five Towns. Moreover, nobody born south of the Trent would have said, "What's amiss?" A Southerner would have said, "What's the matter?" Or, more probably, "What's the mattah?"
He turned and saw a breathless and very beautiful woman of about twenty-nine or thirty, clothed in black, and she was in the act of removing from her lovely head what looked like a length of red flannel. He noticed too, simultaneously, that she was suffering from a heavy cold. A majestic footman behind her closed the door and disappeared.
"Are you Lady Woldo?" Edward Henry asked.
"Yes," she said. "What's this about my baby?"
"I've just seen him in Hyde Park," said Edward Henry. "And I observed that a rash had broken out all over his face."
"I know that," she replied. "It began this morning, all of a sudden like. But what of it? I was rather alarmed myself, as it's the first rash he's had, and he's the first baby I've had--and he'll be the last too. But everybody said it was nothing. He's never been out without me before, but I had such a cold. Now, you don't mean to tell me that you've come down specially from Hyde Park to inform me about that rash. I'm not such a simpleton as all that." She spoke in one long breath.
"I'm sure you're not," said he. "But we've had a good deal of rash in our family, and it just happens that I've got a remedy--a good, sound, north-country remedy, and it struck me you might like to know of it. So, if you like, I'll telegraph to my missis for the recipe. Here's my card."
She read his name, title, and address.
"Well," she said, "it's very kind of you, I'm sure, Mr. Machin. I knew you must come from up there the moment ye spoke. It does one good above a bit to hear a plain north-country voice after all this fal-lalling."
She blew her lovely nose.
"Doesn't it!" Edward Henry agreed. "That was just what I thought when I heard you say 'Bless us!' Do you know, I've been in London only a two-three days, and I assure you I was beginning to feel lonely for a bit of the Midland accent!"
"Yes," she said, "London's lonely!" and sighed.
"My eldest was bitten by a dog the other day," he went on in the vein of gossip.
"Oh, don't!" she protested.
"Yes. Gave us a lot of anxiety. All right now! You might like to know that cyanide gauze is a good thing to put on a wound--supposing anything should happen to yours--"
"Oh, don't!" she protested. "I do hope and pray Robert will never be bitten by a dog. Was it a big dog?"
"Fair," said Edward Henry. "So his name's Robert! So's my eldest's!"
"Really now! They wanted him to be called Robert Philip Stephen Darrand Patrick. But I wouldn't have it. He's just Robert. I did have my own waythere! You know he was born six months after his father's death."
"And I suppose he's ten months now?"
"No; only six."
"Great Scott! He's big!" said Edward Henry.
"Well," said she, "he is. I am, you see."
"Now, Lady Woldo," said Edward Henry in a new tone, "as we're both from the same part of the country, I want to be perfectly straight and above board with you. It's quite true--all that about the rash. And Ididthink you'd like to know. But that's not really what I came to see you about. You understand, not knowing you, I fancied there might be some difficulty in getting at you--"
"Oh, no!" she said simply. "Everybody gets at me."
"Well, I didn't know, you see. So I just mentioned the baby to begin with, like!"
"I hope you're not after money," she said almost plaintively.
"I'm not," he said. "You can ask anybody in Bursley or Hanbridge whether I'm the sort of man to go out on the cadge."
"I once was in the chorus in a panto at Hanbridge," she said. "Don't they call Bursley 'Bosley' down there--'owd Bosley'?"
Edward Henry dealt suitably with these remarks, and then gave her a judicious version of the nature of his business, referring several time to Mr. Rollo Wrissell.
"Mr. Wrissell!" she murmured, smiling.
"In the end I told Mr. Wrissell to go and bury himself," said Edward Henry. "And that's about as far as I've got."
"Oh, don't!" she said, her voice weak from suppressed laughter, and then the laughter burst forth uncontrollable.
"Yes," he said, delighted with himself and her, "I told him to go and bury himself!"
"I suppose you don't like Mr. Wrissell?"
"Well--" he temporised.
"I didn't at first," she said. "I hated him. But I like him now, though I must say I adore teasing him. Mr. Wrissell is what I call a gentleman. You know he was Lord Woldo's heir. And when Lord Woldo married me it was a bit of a blow for him! But he took it like a lamb. He never turned a hair, and he was more polite than any of them. I dare say you know Lord Woldo saw me in a musical comedy at Scarborough--he has a place near there, ye know. Mr. Wrissell had made him angry about some of his New Thought fads, and I do believe he asked me to marry him just to annoy Mr. Wrissell. He used to say to me, my husband did, that he'd married me in too much of a hurry, and that it was too bad on Mr. Wrissell. And then he laughed, and I laughed too. 'After all,' he used to say, my husband did, 'to marry an actress is an accident that might happen to any member of the House of Lords; and it does happen to a lot of 'em, but they don't marry anything as beautiful as you, Blanche,' he used to say. 'And you stick up for yourself, Blanche,' he used to say. 'I'll stand by you,' he said. He was a straight 'un, my husband was.
"They left me alone until he died. And then they began--I meanhisfolks. And when Bobby was born it got worse. Only I must say even then Mr. Wrissell never turned a hair. Everybody seemed to make out that I ought to be very grateful to him, and I ought to think myself very lucky. Me--a peeress of the realm! They wanted me to change. But how could I change? I was Blanche Wilmot, on the road for ten years,--never got a show in London,--and Blanche Wilmot I shall ever be, peeress or no peeress! It was no joke being Lord Woldo's wife, I can tell you; and it's still less of a joke being Lord Woldo's mother. You imagine it. It's worse than carrying about a china vase all the time on a slippery floor. Am I any happier now than I was before I married? Well, Iam! There's more worry in one way, but there's less in another. And of course I've got Bobby! But it isn't all beer and skittles, and I let 'em know it, too. I can't do what I like. And I'm just a sort of exile, you know. I used to enjoy being on the stage, and showing myself off. A hard life, but one does enjoy it. And one gets used to it. One gets to need it. Sometimes I feel I'd give anything to be able to go on the stage again--oh--oh--!"
She sneezed; then took breath.
"Shall I put some more coal on the fire?" Edward Henry suggested.
"Perhaps I'd better ring," she hesitated.
"No, I'll do it."
He put coal on the fire.
"And if you'd feel easier with that flannel round your head, please do put it on again."
"Well," she said, "I will. My mother used to say there was naught like red flannel for a cold."
With an actress' skill she arranged the flannel, and from its encircling folds her face emerged bewitching--and she knew it. Her complexion had suffered in ten years of the road, but its extreme beauty could not yet be denied. And Edward Henry thought: "All thereallypretty girls come from the Midlands!"
"Here I am rambling on," she said. "I always was a rare rambler. What do you want me to do?"
"Exert your influence," he replied. "Don't you think it's rather hard on Rose Euclid--treating her like this? Of course people say all sorts of things about Rose Euclid--"
"I won't hear a word against Rose Euclid," cried Lady Woldo. "Whenever she was on tour, if she knew any of us were resting in the town where she was, she'd send us seats. And many's the time I've cried and cried at her acting. And then she's the life and soul of the Theatrical Ladies' Guild."
"And isn't that your husband's signature?" he demanded, showing the precious option.
"Of course it is."
He did not show her the covering letter.
"And I've no doubt my husbandwanteda theatre built there, and he wanted to do Rose Euclid a good turn. And I'm quite positive certain sure that he didn't want any of Mr. Wrissell's rigmaroles on his land. He wasn't that sort, my husband wasn't.... You must go to law about it," she finished.
"Yes," said Edward Henry protestingly. "And a pretty penny it would cost me! And supposing I lost, after all? ... You never know. There's a much easier way than going to law."
"What is it?"
"As I say, you exert your influence, Lady Woldo. Write and tell them I've seen you and you insist--"
"Eh! Bless you! They'd twist me round their little finger. I'm not a fool, but I'm not very clever; I know that. I shouldn't know whether I was standing on my head or my heels by the time they'd done with me. I've tried to face them out before--about things."
"Who, Mr. Wrissell or Slossons?"
"Both! Eh, but I should like to put a spoke in Mr. Wrissell's wheel, gentleman as he is. You see, he's just one of those men you can't help wanting to tease. When you're on the road you meet lots of 'em."
"I tell you what you can do!"
"What?"
"Write and tell Slossons that you don't wish them to act for you any more, and you'll go to another firm of solicitors. That would bring 'em to their senses."
"Can't! They're in the will.Hesettled that. That's why they're so cocky."
Edward Henry persisted, and this time with an exceedingly impressive and conspiratorial air:
"I tell you another thing you could do--you reallycoulddo--and it depends on nobody but yourself."
"Well," she said with decision, "I'll do it."
"Whatever it is?"
"If it's straight."
"Of course it's straight. And it would be a grand way of teasing Mr. Wrissell and all of 'em! A simply grand way! I should die of laughing."
"Well--"
At this critical point the historic conversation was interrupted by phenomena in the hall which Lady Woldo recognised with feverish excitement. Lord Woldo had safely returned from Hyde Park. Starting up, she invited Edward Henry to wait a little. A few moments later they were bending over the infant together, and Edward Henry was offering his views on the cause and cure of rash.
VII.
Early on the same afternoon Edward Henry managed by a somewhat excessive obstreperousness to penetrate once more into the private room of Mr. Slosson, senior, who received him in silence.
He passed a document to Mr. Slosson.
"It's only a copy," he said, "but the original is in my pocket, and to-morrow it will be duly stamped. I'll give you the original in exchange for the stamped lease of my Piccadilly Circus plot of land. You know the money is waiting."
Mr. Slosson perused the document; and it was certainly to his credit that he did so without any superficial symptoms of dismay.
"What will Mr. Wrissell and the Woldo family say about that, do you think?" asked Edward Henry.
"Lady Woldo will never be allowed to carry it out," said Mr. Slosson.
"Who's going to stop her? She must carry it out. She wants to carry it out. She's dying to carry it out. Moreover, I shall communicate it to the papers to-night--unless you and I come to an arrangement. And if by any chance she doesn't carry it out--well, there'll be a fine society action about it, you can bet your boots, Mr. Slosson."
The document was a contract made between Blanche Lady Woldo of the one part and Edward Henry Machin of the other part, whereby Blanche Lady Woldo undertook to appear in musical comedy at any West End theatre to be named by Edward Henry, at a salary of two hundred pounds a week, for the period of six months.
"You've not got a theatre," said Mr. Slosson.
"I can get half a dozen in an hour--with that contract in my hand," said Edward Henry.
And he knew from Mr. Slosson's face that he had won.
VIII.
That evening, feeling that he had earned a little recreation, he went to the Empire Theatre--not in Hanbridge, but in Leicester Square, London. The lease, with a prodigious speed hitherto unknown at Slossons, had been drawn up, engrossed, and executed. The Piccadilly Circus land was his for sixty-four years.
"And I've got the old chapel pulled down for nothing," he said to himself.
He was rather happy as he wandered about amid the brilliance of the Empire Promenade. But after half an hour of such exercise, and of vain efforts to see or hear what was afoot on the stage, he began to feel rather lonely. Then it was that he caught sight of Mr. Alloyd the architect, also lonely.
"Well," said Mr. Alloyd curtly, with a sardonic smile, "they've telephoned me all about it. I've seen Mr. Wrissell. Just my luck! So you're the man! He pointed you out to me this morning. My design for that church would have knocked the West End! Of course Mr. Wrissell will pay me compensation, but that's not the same thing. I wanted the advertisement of the building.... Just my luck! Have a drink, will you?"
Edward Henry ultimately went with the plaintive Mr. Alloyd to his rooms in Adelphi Terrace. He quitted those rooms at something after two o'clock in the morning. He had practically given Mr. Alloyd a definite commission to design the Regent Theatre. Already he was practically the proprietor of a first-class theatre in the West End of London!
"I wonder whether Master Seven Sachs could have bettered my day's work to-day!" he reflected as he got into a taxicab. He had dismissed his electric brougham earlier in the evening. "I doubt if even Master Seven Sachs himself wouldn't be proud of my little scheme in Eaton Square!" said he.... "Wilkins's Hotel, please, driver."
THE OLD ADAM
PART II
CHAPTER VII
CORNER-STONE
I.
On a morning in spring Edward Henry got out of an express at Euston, which had come, not from the Five Towns, but from Birmingham. Having on the previous day been called to Birmingham on local and profitable business, he had found it convenient to spend the night there and telegraph home that London had summoned him. It was in this unostentatious, this half-furtive fashion, that his visits to London now usually occurred. Not that he was afraid of his wife! Not that he was afraid even of his mother! Oh, no! He was merely rather afraid of himself,--of his own opinion concerning the metropolitan, non-local, speculative, and perhaps unprofitable business to which he was committed. The fact was that he could scarcely look his women in the face when he mentioned London. He spoke vaguely of "real estate" enterprise, and left it at that. The women made no enquiries; they too, left it at that. Nevertheless....
The episode of Wilkins's was buried, but it was imperfectly buried. The Five Towns definitely knew that he had stayed at Wilklns's for a bet, and that Brindley had discharged the bet. And rumours of his valet, his electric brougham, his theatrical supper-parties, had mysteriously hung in the streets of the Five Towns like a strange vapour. Wisps of the strange vapour had conceivably entered the precincts of his home, but nobody ever referred to them; nobody ever sniffed apprehensively, nor asked anybody else whether there was not a smell of fire. The discreetness of the silence was disconcerting. Happily his relations with that angel, his wife, were excellent. She had carried angelicism so far as not to insist on the destruction of Carlo; and she had actually applauded, while sticking to her white apron, the sudden and startling extravagances of his toilette.
On the whole, though little short of thirty-five thousand pounds would ultimately be involved,--not to speak of liability of nearly three thousand a year for sixty-four years for ground-rent,--Edward Henry was not entirely gloomy as to his prospects. He was indubitably thinner in girth; novel problems and anxieties, and the constant annoyance of being in complete technical ignorance of his job, had removed some flesh. (And not a bad thing either!) But, on the other hand, his chin exhibited one proof that life was worth living, and that he had discovered new faith in life and a new conviction of youthfulness.
He had shaved off his beard.
"Well, sir!" a voice greeted him full of hope and cheer, immediately his feet touched the platform.
It was the voice of Mr. Marrier. Edward Henry and Mr. Marrier were now in regular relations. Before Edward Henry had paid his final bill at Wilkins's and relinquished his valet and his electric brougham, and disposed forever of his mythical "man" on board theMinnetonka, and got his original luggage away from the Hotel Majestic, Mr. Marrier had visited him and made a certain proposition. And such was the influence of Mr. Marrier's incurable smile, and of his solid optimism, and of his obvious talent for getting things done on the spot (as witness the photography), that the proposition had been accepted. Mr. Marrier was now Edward Henry's "representative" in London. At the Green Room Club Mr. Marrier informed reliable cronies that he was Edward Henry's "confidential adviser." At the Turk's Head, Hanbridge, Edward Henry informed reliable cronies that Mr. Marrier was a sort of clerk, factotum, or maid of all work. A compromise between these two very different conceptions of Mr. Marrier's position had been arrived at in the word "representative." The real truth was that Edward Henry employed Mr. Marrier in order to listen to Mr. Marrier. He turned to Mr. Marrier like a tap, and nourished himself from a gushing stream of useful information concerning the theatrical world. Mr. Marrier, quite unconsciously, was bit by bit remedying Edward Henry's acute ignorance.
The question of wages had caused Edward Henry some apprehension. He had learnt in a couple of days that a hundred pounds a week was a trifle on the stage. He had soon heard of performers who worked for "nominal" salaries of forty and fifty a week. For a manager twenty pounds a week seemed to be a usual figure. But in the Five Towns three pounds a week is regarded as very goodish pay for any subordinate, and Edward Henry could not rid himself all at once of native standards. He had therefore, with diffidence, offered three pounds a week to the aristocratic Marrier. And Mr. Marrier had not refused it, nor ceased to smile. On three pounds a week he haunted the best restaurants, taxicabs, and other resorts, and his garb seemed always to be smarter than Edward Henry's, especially in such details as waistcoat slips.
Of course Mr. Marrier had a taxicab waiting exactly opposite the coach from which Edward Henry descended. It was just this kind of efficient attention that was gradually endearing him to his employer.
"How goes it?" said Edward Henry curtly, as they drove down to the Grand Babylon Hotel, now Edward Henry's regular headquarters in London.
Said Mr. Marrier:
"I suppose you've seen another of 'em's got a knighthood?"
"No," said Edward Henry. "Who?" He knew that by "'em" Mr. Marrier meant the great race of actor-managers.
"Gerald Pompey. Something to do with him being a sheriff in the City, you know. I bet you what you laike he went in for the Common Council simply in order to get even with old Pilgrim. In fact, I know he did. And now a foundation-stone-laying has dan it!"
"A foundation-stone-laying?"
"Yes. The new City Guild's building, you knaow. Royalty--Temple Bar business--sheriffs--knighthood. There you are!"
"Oh!" said Edward Henry. And then after a pause added: "Pitywecan't have a foundation-stone-laying!"
"By the way, old Pilgrim's in the deuce and all of a haole, I heah. It's all over the Clubs." (In speaking of the Clubs, Mr. Marrier always pronounced them with a Capital letter.) "I told you he was going to sail from Tilbury on his world-tour, and have a grand embarking ceremony and seeing-off! Just laike him! Greatest advertiser the world ever saw! Well, since that P. and O. boat was lost on the Goodwins, Cora Pryde has absolutely declined to sail from Tilbury. Ab-so-lute-ly! Swears she'll join the steamer at Marseilles. And Pilgrim has got to go with her, too."
"Why?"
"Well, even Pilgrim couldn't have a grand embarking ceremony without his leading lady! He's furious, I hear."
"Why shouldn't he go with her?"
"Why not? Because he's formally announced his grand embarking ceremony! Invitations are out. Barge from London Bridge to Tilbury, and so on! What he wants is a good excuse for giving it up. He'd never be able to admit that he'd had to give it up because Cora Pryde made him! He wants to save his face."
"Well," said Edward Henry absently, "it's a queer world. You've got me a room at the Grand Bab?"
"Rather!"
"Then let's go and have a look at the Regent first," said Edward Henry.
No sooner had he expressed the wish than Mr. Marrier's neck curved round through the window, and with three words to the chauffeur he had deflected the course of the taxi.
Edward Henry had an almost boyish curiosity about his edifice. He would go and give it a glance at the oddest moments. And just now he had a swift and violent desire to behold it. With all speed the taxi shot down Shaftesbury Avenue and swerved to the right....
There it was! Yes, it really existed, the incredible edifice of his caprice and of Mr. Alloyd's constructive imagination! It had already reached a height of fifteen feet; and, dozens of yards above that, cranes dominated the sunlit air, swinging loads of bricks in the azure; and scores of workmen crawled about beneath these monsters. And he, Edward Henry, by a single act of volition was the author of it! He slipped from the taxi, penetrated within the wall of hoardings, and gazed, just gazed! A wondrous thing--human enterprise! And also a terrifying thing! ... That building might be the tomb of his reputation. On the other hand it might be the seed of a new renown compared to which the first would be as naught! He turned his eyes away, in fear--yes, in fear!
"I say," he said, "will Sir John Pilgrim be out of bed yet, d'ye think?" He glanced at his watch. The hour was about eleven.
"He'll be at breakfast."
"I'm going to see him, then. What's his address?"
"Twenty-five Queen Anne's Gate. But do you knaow him? I do. Shall I cam with you?"
"No," said Edward Henry shortly. "You go on with my bags to the Grand Bab, and get me another taxi. I'll see you in my room at the hotel at a quarter to one. Eh?"
"Rather!" agreed Mr. Marrier, submissive.
II.
"Sole proprietor of the Regent Theatre."
These were the words which Edward Henry wrote on a visiting-card, and which procured him immediate admittance to the unique spectacle--reputed to be one of the most enthralling sights in London--of Sir John Pilgrim at breakfast.
In a very spacious front room of his flat (so celebrated for its Gobelins tapestries and its truly wonderful parquet flooring) sat Sir John Pilgrim at a large hexagonal mahogany table. At one side of the table a small square of white diaper was arranged, and on this square were an apparatus for boiling eggs, another for making toast, and a third for making coffee. Sir John, with the assistance of a young Chinaman and a fox-terrier who flitted around him, was indeed eating and drinking. The vast remainder of the table was gleamingly bare, save for newspapers and letters, opened and unopened, which Sir John tossed about. Opposite to him sat a secretary whose fluffy hair, neat white chemisette, and tender years gave her an appearance of helpless fragility in front of the powerful and ruthless celebrity. Sir John's crimson-socked left foot stuck out from the table, emerging from the left half of a lovely new pair of brown trousers, and resting on a piece of white paper. Before this white paper knelt a man in a frock-coat, who was drawing an outline on the paper round Sir John's foot.
"Youarea bootmaker, aren't you?" Sir John was saying airily.
"Yes, Sir John."
"Excuse me!" said Sir John. "I only wanted to be sure. I fancied from the way you caressed my corn with that pencil that you might be an artist on one of the illustrated papers. My mistake!" He was bending down. Then suddenly straightening himself he called across the room: "I say, Givington, did you notice my pose then--my expression as I used the word 'caressed'? How would that do?"
And Edward Henry now observed in a corner of the room a man standing in front of an easel and sketching somewhat grossly thereon in charcoal. This man said:
"If you won't bother me, Sir John, I won't bother you."
"Ah! Givington! Ah! Givington!" murmured Sir John still more airily--at breakfast he was either airy or nothing. "You're getting on in the world. You aren't merely an A.R.A.--you're making money. A year ago you'd never have had the courage to address me in that tone. Well, I sincerely congratulate you.... Here, Snip, here's my dentist's bill--worry it, worry it! Good dog! Worry it!"
(The dog growled now over a torn document beneath the table.)
"Miss Taft, you might see that acommuniquégoes out to the effect that I gave my first sitting to Mr. Saracen Givington, A.R.A., this morning. The activities of Mr. Saracen Givington are of interest to the world, and rightly so! You'd better come round to the other side for the right foot, Mr. Bootmaker. The journey is simply nothing."
And then, and not till then, did Sir John Pilgrim turn his large and handsome middle-aged blond face in the direction of Alderman Edward Henry Machin.
"Pardon my curiosity," said Sir John, "but who are you?"
"My name is Machin--Alderman Machin," said Edward Henry. "I sent up my card and you asked me to come in."
"Ha!" Sir John exclaimed, seizing an egg. "Will you crack an egg with me, Alderman? I can crack an egg with anybody."
"Thanks," said Edward Henry. "I'll be very glad to." And he advanced towards the table.
Sir John hesitated. The fact was that, though he dissembled his dismay with marked histrionic skill, he was unquestionably overwhelmed by astonishment. In the course of years he had airily invited hundreds of callers to crack an egg with him,--the joke was one of his favourites,--but nobody had ever ventured to accept the invitation.
"Chung," he said weakly, "lay a cover for the alderman."
Edward Henry sat down quite close to Sir John. He could discern all the details of Sir John's face and costume. The tremendous celebrity was wearing a lounge suit somewhat like his own, but instead of the coat--he had a blue dressing-jacket with crimson facings; the sleeves ended in rather long wristbands, which were unfastened, the opal cuff-links drooping each from a single hole. Perhaps for the first time in his life Edward Henry intimately understood what idiosyncratic elegance was. He could almost feel the emanating personality of Sir John Pilgrim, and he was intimidated by it; he was intimidated by its hardness, its harshness, its terrific egotism, its utterly brazen quality. Sir John's glance was the most purely arrogant that Edward Henry had ever encountered. It knew no reticence. And Edward Henry thought: "When this chap dies he'll want to die in public, with the reporters round his bed and a private secretary taking down messages."
"This is rather a lark," said Sir John, recovering.
"It is," said Edward Henry, who now felicitously perceived that a lark it indeed was, and ought to be treated as such. "It shall be a lark!" he said to himself.
Sir John dictated a letter to Miss Taft, and before the letter was finished the grinning Chung had laid a place for Edward Henry, and Snip had inspected him and passed him for one of the right sort.
"Had I said that this is rather a lark?" Sir John enquired, the letter accomplished.
"I forget," said Edward Henry.
"Because I don't like to say the same thing twice over if I can help it. It is a lark though, isn't it?"
"Undoubtedly," said Edward Henry, decapitating an egg. "I only hope that I'm not interrupting you."
"Not in the least," said Sir John. "Breakfast is my sole free time. In another half-hour, I assure you, I shall be attending to three or four things at once." He leant over towards Edward Henry. "But between you and me, Alderman, quite privately, if it isn't a rude question, what did you come for?"
"Well," said Edward Henry, "as I wrote on my card, I'm the sole proprietor of the Regent Theatre--"
"But there is no Regent Theatre," Sir John interrupted him.
"No; not strictly. But there will be. It's in course of construction. We're up to the first floor."
"Dear me! A suburban theatre, no doubt?"
"Do you mean to say, Sir John," cried Edward Henry, "that you haven't noticed it. It's within a few yards of Piccadilly Circus."
"Really!" said Sir John. "You see my theatre is in Lower Regent Street, and I never go to Piccadilly Circus. I make a point of not going to Piccadilly Circus. Miss Taft, how long is it since I went to Piccadilly Circus? Forgive me, young woman, I was forgetting--you aren't old enough to remember. Well, never mind details.... And what is there remarkable about the Regent Theatre, Alderman?"
"I intend it to be a theatre of the highest class, Sir John," said Edward Henry. "Nothing but the very best will be seen on its boards."
"That's not remarkable, Alderman. We're all like that. Haven't you noticed it?"
"Then, secondly," said Edward Henry, "I am the sole proprietor. I have no financial backers, no mortgages, no partners. I have made no contracts with anybody."
"That," said Sir John, "is not unremarkable. In fact, many persons who do not happen to possess my own robust capacity for belief might not credit your statement."
"And thirdly," said Edward Henry, "every member of the audience--even in the boxes, the most expensive seats--will have a full view of the whole of the stage--or, in the alternative, at matinées, a full view of a lady's hat."
"Alderman," said Sir John gravely, "before I offer you another egg, let me warn you against carrying remarkableness too far. You may be regarded as eccentric if you go on like that. Some people, I am told, don't want a view of the stage."
"Then they had better not come to my theatre," said Edward Henry.
"All which," commented Sir John, "gives me no clue whatever to the reason why you are sitting here by my side and calmly eating my eggs and toast and drinking my coffee."
Admittedly, Edward Henry was nervous. Admittedly, he was a provincial in the presence of one of the most illustrious personages of the empire. Nevertheless he controlled his nervousness, and reflected:
"Nobody else from the Five Towns would or could have done what I am doing. Moreover, this chap is a mountebank. In the Five Towns they would kowtow to him, but they would laugh at him. They would mighty soon addhimup. Why should I be nervous? I'm as good as he is." He finished with the thought which has inspired many a timid man with new courage in a desperate crisis: "The fellow can't eat me."
Then he said aloud:
"I want to ask you a question, Sir John."
"One?"
"One. Are you the head of the theatrical profession, or is Sir Gerald Pompey?"
"SirGerald Pompey?"
"SirGerald Pompey. Haven't you seen the papers this morning?"
Sir John Pilgrim turned pale. Springing up, he seized the topmost of an undisturbed pile of daily papers and feverishly opened it.
"Bah!" he muttered.
He was continually thus imitating his own behaviour on the stage. The origin of his renowned breakfasts lay in the fact that he had once played the part of a millionaire ambassador who juggled at breakfast with his own affairs and the affairs of the world. The stage breakfast of a millionaire ambassador created by a playwright on the verge of bankruptcy had appealed to his imagination and influenced all the mornings of his life.
"They've done it just to irritate me as I'm starting off on my world's tour," he muttered, coursing round the table. Then he stopped and gazed at Edward Henry. "This is a political knighthood," said he. "It has nothing to do with the stage. It is not like my knighthood, is it?"
"Certainly not," Edward Henry agreed. "But you know how people will talk, Sir John. People will be going about this very morning and saying that Sir Gerald is at last the head of the theatrical profession. I came here for your authoritative opinion. I know you're unbiased."
Sir John resumed his chair.
"As for Pompey's qualifications as a head," he murmured, "I know nothing of them. I fancy his heart is excellent. I only saw him twice, once in his own theatre, and once in Bond Street. I should be inclined to say that on the stage he looks more like a gentleman than any gentleman ought to look, and that in the street he might be mistaken for an actor.... How will that suit you?"
"It's a clue," said Edward Henry.
"Alderman," exclaimed Sir John, "I believe that if I didn't keep a firm hand on myself I should soon begin to like you! Have another cup of coffee. Chung! ... Good-bye, Bootmaker, good-bye!"
"I only want to know for certain who is the head," said Edward Henry, "because I mean to invite the head of the theatrical profession to lay the corner-stone of my new theatre."
"Ah!"
"When do you start on your world's tour, Sir John?"
"I leave Tilbury with my entire company, scenery and effects, on the morning of Tuesday week, by theKandahar. I shall play first in Cairo."
"How awkward!" said Edward Henry. "I meant to ask you to lay the stone on the very next afternoon--Wednesday, that is!"
"Indeed!"
"Yes, Sir John. The ceremony will be a very original affair--very original!"
"A foundation-stone-laying!" mused Sir John. "But if you're already up to the first floor, how can you be laying the foundation-stone on Wednesday week?"
"I didn't say foundation-stone. I said corner-stone," Edward Henry corrected him. "An entire novelty! That's why we can't be ready before Wednesday week."
"And you want to advertise your house by getting the head of the profession to assist?"
"That is exactly my idea."
"Well," said Sir John. "Whatever else you may lack, Mr. Alderman, you are not lacking in nerve, if you expect to succeed inthat."
Edward Henry smiled.
"I have already heard, in a round-about way," he replied, "that Sir Gerald Pompey would not be unwilling to officiate. My only difficulty is that I'm a truthful man by nature. Whoever officiates, I shall of course have to have him labelled, in my own interests, as the head of the theatrical profession, and I don't want to say anything that isn't true."
There was a pause.
"Now, Sir John, couldn't you stay a day or two longer in London and join the ship at Marseilles instead of going on board at Tilbury?"
"But I have made all my arrangements. The whole world knows that I am going on board at Tilbury."
Just then the door opened and a servant announced:
"Mr. Carlo Trent."
Sir John Pilgrim rushed like a locomotive to the threshold and seized both Carlo Trent's hands with such a violence of welcome that Carlo Trent's eyeglass fell out of his eye and the purple ribbon dangled to his waist.
"Come in, come in!" said Sir John. "And begin to read at once. I've been looking out of the window for you for the last quarter of an hour. Alderman, this is Mr. Carlo Trent, the well-known dramatic poet. Trent, this is one of the greatest geniuses in London.... Ah! You know each other? It's not surprising! No, don't stop to shake hands. Sit down here, Trent. Sit down on this chair.... Here, Snip, take his hat. Worry it! Worry it! Now, Trent, don't read tome. It might make you nervous and hurried. Read to Miss Taft and Chung, and to Mr. Givington over there. Imagine that they are the great and enlightened public. You have imagination, haven't you, being a poet?"
Sir John had accomplished the change of mood with the rapidity of a transformation-scene--in which form of art, by the way, he was a great adept.
Carlo Trent, somewhat breathless, took a manuscript from his pocket, opened it, and announced: "The Orient Pearl."
"Oh!" breathed Edward Henry.
For some thirty minutes Edward Henry listened to hexameters, the first he had ever heard. The effect of them on his moral organism was worse even than he had expected. He glanced about at the other auditors. Givington had opened a box of tubes and was spreading colours on his palette. The Chinaman's eyes were closed while his face still grinned. Snip was asleep on the parquet. Miss Taft bit the end of a pencil with her agreeable teeth. Sir John Pilgrim lay at full length on a sofa, occasionally lifting his legs. Edward Henry despaired of help in his great need. But just as his desperation was becoming too acute to be borne, Carlo Trent ejaculated the word "Curtain." It was the first word that Edward Henry had clearly understood.
"That's the first act," said Carlo Trent, wiping his face. Snip awakened.
Edward Henry rose and, in the hush, tiptoed round the sofa.
"Good-bye, Sir John," he whispered.
"You're not going?"
"I am, Sir John."
The head of his profession sat up. "How right you are!" said he. "How right you are. Trent, I knew from the first words it wouldn't do. It lacks colour. I want something more crimson, more like the brighter parts of this jacket, something--" He waved hands in the air. "The alderman agrees with me. He's going. Don't trouble to read any more, Trent. But drop in any time--any time. Chung, what o'clock is it?"
"It is nearly noon," said Edward Henry in the tone of an old friend. "Well, I'm sorry you can't oblige me, Sir John. I'm off to see Sir Gerald Pompey now."
"But who says I can't oblige you?" protested Sir John. "Who knows what sacrifices I would not make in the highest interests of the profession? Alderman, you jump to conclusions with the agility of an acrobat, but they are false conclusions! Miss Taft, the telephone! Chung, my coat! Good-bye, Trent, good-bye!"
An hour later Edward Henry met Mr. Marrier at the Grand Babylon Hotel.
"Well, sir," said Mr. Marrier, "you are the greatest man that ever lived!"
"Why?"
Mr. Marrier showed him the stop-press news of a penny evening paper, which read: "Sir John Pilgrim has abandoned his ceremonious departure from Tilbury in order to lay the corner-stone of the new Regent Theatre on Wednesday week. He and Miss Cora Pryde will join theKandaharat Marseilles."
"You needn't do any advertaysing," said Mr. Marrier. "Pilgrim will do all the advertaysing for you."