Chapter 3

She:"It must be a dreadful thing to become old and ugly. I should much prefer to die young."He:"You'll have to hurry up then!"

She:"It must be a dreadful thing to become old and ugly. I should much prefer to die young."

He:"You'll have to hurry up then!"

"I have a Song to Sing O."

"I have a Song to Sing O."

ON THE BRAINMr. Beerbohm Tree

ON THE BRAIN

Mr. Beerbohm Tree

A NASTY ONEWrymug:"I assure you the blamed fog was so thick I couldn't find the way to my own mouth."Quizzer:"What! When it's just round the corner!"

A NASTY ONE

Wrymug:"I assure you the blamed fog was so thick I couldn't find the way to my own mouth."

Quizzer:"What! When it's just round the corner!"

ON THE BRAINGeneral Booth

ON THE BRAIN

General Booth

NEW USE FOR A CLOTHES-PEGHow to obtain a good French accent

NEW USE FOR A CLOTHES-PEG

How to obtain a good French accent

Mistress(to new cook):"Now are you sure you have had experience?"Cook:"Oh, yes, mum! I've been in 'undreds of places."

Mistress(to new cook):"Now are you sure you have had experience?"

Cook:"Oh, yes, mum! I've been in 'undreds of places."

PICKSOMELittle Spriggins:"Yes, we always dine at a private table. You see, my wife is so fond of picking bones."Old Joker:"I suppose that's why she picked you."

PICKSOME

Little Spriggins:"Yes, we always dine at a private table. You see, my wife is so fond of picking bones."

Old Joker:"I suppose that's why she picked you."

ON THE BRAINLord Mayor Savory

ON THE BRAIN

Lord Mayor Savory

THE WRONG SHOP(Carol singing in Hatton Garden) "Christians Awake!"

THE WRONG SHOP

(Carol singing in Hatton Garden) "Christians Awake!"

ON THE BRAINMr. George Augustus Sala

ON THE BRAIN

Mr. George Augustus Sala

BAKERS' STRIKEThey've recently discovered that they'll never want a feedAs long as they think fit toloafthe less our bread weknead.

BAKERS' STRIKE

They've recently discovered that they'll never want a feedAs long as they think fit toloafthe less our bread weknead.

She:Oh, John, we're next the engine."He:"Never mind, we'll get there all the quicker."

She:Oh, John, we're next the engine."

He:"Never mind, we'll get there all the quicker."

The Boy:"Grandpa, is a Jewess a She-brew?"

The Boy:"Grandpa, is a Jewess a She-brew?"

SAVAGE SOUTH AFRICAA Prior Engagement.

SAVAGE SOUTH AFRICA

A Prior Engagement.

THE NORTH POLE

THE NORTH POLE

SUGGESTIVESmall Boy:"Hi! Can you spare acopper?"

SUGGESTIVE

Small Boy:"Hi! Can you spare acopper?"

LEG-ISLATION

LEG-ISLATION

INTELLIGENCE DEPARTMENTYokel:"Say, sir, does I put this 'er stamp on meself?"Post-Assistant:"On yourself. No, on the letter, you booby."

INTELLIGENCE DEPARTMENT

Yokel:"Say, sir, does I put this 'er stamp on meself?"

Post-Assistant:"On yourself. No, on the letter, you booby."

THE CONSUMING PASSION"Have you heard that Jones has given up 'booze'?""No, I wouldn't believe it.""But he has, and he's dead."

THE CONSUMING PASSION

"Have you heard that Jones has given up 'booze'?"

"No, I wouldn't believe it."

"But he has, and he's dead."

THE DOWN TRAINCrossing Sweeper:"'Ere, if you're goin' to sweep the bloomin' crossin' yerself, I'm hoff."

THE DOWN TRAIN

Crossing Sweeper:"'Ere, if you're goin' to sweep the bloomin' crossin' yerself, I'm hoff."

Retired Burglar:"Oh, my son! Always remember that it is wrong to steal on Sunday."

Retired Burglar:"Oh, my son! Always remember that it is wrong to steal on Sunday."

ON THE BRAINMr. Punch

ON THE BRAIN

Mr. Punch


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