I set not by hym a fly,That can not counterfet a lye,Swere, and stare, and byde therby,And countenaunce it clenly,420And defende it manerly.A knaue wyll counterfet nowe a knyght,A lurdayne lyke a lorde to fyght,[790]A mynstrell lyke a man of myght,A tappyster lyke a lady bryght:Thus make I them wyth thryft to fyght,Thus at the laste I brynge hym[791]ryghtTo Tyburne, where they hange on hyght.To counterfet I can by praty wayes:Of nyghtys to occupy counterfet kayes,430Clenly to counterfet newe arayes,Counterfet eyrnest by way of playes:Thus am I occupyed at all assayes;What so euer I do, all men me prayse,And mekyll am I made of nowe adays:Counterfet maters in the lawe of the lande,Wyth golde and grotes they grese my hande,In stede of ryght that wronge may stande,And counterfet fredome that is bounde;I counterfet[792]suger that is but founde;440Counterfet capytaynes by me are mande;Of all lewdnesse I kyndell the brande;Counterfet kyndnesse, and thynke dyscayte;Counterfet letters by the way of sleyght;Subtelly vsynge counterfet weyght;Counterfet langage, fayty bone geyte.Counterfetynge is a proper bayte;A counte to counterfet in a resayte;To counterfet well is a good consayte.Counterfet maydenhode may well be borne,450But counterfet coynes is laughynge to scorne;It is euyll patchynge of that is torne;Whan the noppe is rughe, it wolde be shorne;Counterfet haltynge without a thorne;Yet counterfet chafer is but euyll corne;All thynge is worse whan it is worne.What, wolde ye, wyues, counterfetThe courtly gyse of the newe iet?An olde barne wolde be vnderset:It is moche worthe that is ferre fet.460What, wanton, wanton, nowe well ymet!What, Margery Mylke Ducke, mermoset!It wolde be masked in my net;It wolde be nyce, thoughe I say nay;By Crede, it wolde haue fresshe aray,And therfore shall my husbande pay;To counterfet she wyll assayAll the newe gyse, fresshe and gaye,And be as praty as she may,And iet it ioly as a iay:470Counterfet prechynge, and byleue the contrary;Counterfet conscyence, peuysshe pope holy;Counterfet sadnesse, with delynge full madly;Counterfet holynes is called ypocrysy;Counterfet reason is not worth a flye;Counterfet wysdome, and workes of foly;Counterfet countenaunce euery man dothe occupy:Counterfet worshyp outwarde men may se;Ryches rydeth out, at home is pouerte;Counterfet pleasure is borne out by me:480Coll wolde go clenly, and it wyll not be,And Annot wolde be nyce, and laughes, tehe wehe;Your counterfet countenaunce is all of nysyte,A plummed partrydge all redy to flye:A knokylbonyarde wyll counterfet a clarke,He wolde trotte gentylly, but he is to starke,At his cloked counterfetynge dogges dothe barke;A carter a courtyer, it is a worthy warke,That with his whyp his mares was wonte to yarke;A custrell to dryue the deuyll out of the derke,490A counterfet courtyer with a knaues marke.To counterfet this freers haue lerned me;This nonnes nowe and then, and it myght be,Wolde take in the way of counterfet charyteThe grace of God vnderbenedicite;To counterfet thyr counsell they gyue me a fee;Chanons can not counterfet but vpon thre,Monkys may not for drede that men sholde them se.Hic ingrediaturFansyproperanter cumCrafty Conueyaunce, cum famine multo[793]adinvicem garrulantes: tandem, visoCounterfet Countenaunce, dicatCrafty Conueyaunce.Cr. Con.What, Counterfet Countenaunce!C. Count.What, Crafty Conueyaunce!500Fan.What, the deuyll, are ye two of aquayntaunce?God gyue you a very myschaunce!Cr. Con.Yes, yes, syr, he and I haue met.C. Count.We haue bene togyder bothe erly and late:But, Fansy my frende, where haue ye bene so longe?Fan.By God, I haue bene about a praty pronge;Crafty Conueyaunce, I sholde say, and I.Cr. Con.By God, we haue made Magnyfycence to ete a flye.C. Count.Howe coulde ye do that, and [I] was away?Fan.By God, man, bothe his pagent and thyne he can play.510C. Count.Say trouth?Cr. Con.Yes, yes, by lakyn, I shall thé warent,As longe as I lyue, thou haste an heyre parent.Fan.Yet haue we pyckyd out a rome for thé.C. Count.Why, shall we dwell togyder all thre?Cr. Con.Why, man, it were to great a wonder,That we thre galauntes sholde be longe asonder.C. Count.For Cockys harte, gyue me thy hande.Fan.By the masse, for ye are able to dystroy an hole lande.Cr. Con.By God, yet it muste begynne moche of thé.520Fan.Who that is ruled by vs, it shalbe longe or he thee.C. Count.But, I say, kepest thou the olde name styll that thou had?Cr. Con.Why, wenyst thou, horson, that I were so mad?Fan.Nay, nay, he hath chaunged his, and I haue chaunged myne.C. Count.Nowe, what is his name, and what is thyne?Fan.In faythe, Largesse I hyght,And I am made a knyght.C. Count.A rebellyon agaynst nature,So large a man, and so lytell of stature!But, syr, howe counterfetyd ye?530Cr. Con.Sure Surueyaunce[794]I named me.C. Count.Surueyaunce! where ye suruey,Thryfte hathe lost her cofer kay.Fan.But is it not well? howe thynkest thou?C. Count.Yes, syr, I gyue God auowe,Myselfe coude not counterfet it better.But what became of the letter,That I counterfeyted you vnderneth a shrowde?Fan.By the masse, odly well alowde.Cr. Con.By God, had not I it conuayed,540Yet Fansy had ben dysceyued.C. Count.I wote, thou arte false ynoughe for one.Fan.By my trouthe, we had ben gone:And yet, in fayth, man, we lacked théFor to speke with Lyberte.C. Count.What is Largesse without Lyberte?Cr. Con.By Mesure mastered yet is he.C. Count.What, is your conueyaunce no better?Fan.In faythe, Mesure is lyke a tetter,That ouergroweth a mannes face,550So he ruleth ouer all our place.Cr. Con.Nowe therfore, whylest we are togyder,—Counterfet Countenaunce, nay, come hyder,—I say, whylest we are togyder in same—C. Count.Tushe, a strawe, it is a shameThat we can no better than so.Fan.We wyll remedy it, man, or we go;For, lyke as mustarde is sharpe of taste,[795]Ryght so a sharpe fansy must be foundeWherwith Mesure to confounde.560Cr. Con.Can you a remedy for a tysyke,That sheweth yourselfe thus spedde in physyke?C. Count.It is a gentyll reason of a rake.Fan.For all these iapes yet that ye[796]make—Cr. Con.Your fansy maketh myne elbowe to ake.Fan.Let se, fynde you a better way.C. Count.Take no dyspleasure of that we say.Cr. Con.Nay, and you be angry and ouerwharte,A man may beshrowe your angry harte.Fan.Tushe, a strawe, I thought none yll.570C. Count.What, shall we iangle thus all the day styll?Cr. Con.Nay, let vs our heddes togyder cast.Fan.Ye, and se howe it may be compast,That Mesure were cast out of the dores.C. Count.Alasse, where is my botes and my spores?Cr. Con.In all this hast whether wyll ye ryde?C. Count.I trowe, it shall not nede to abyde.Cockes woundes, se, syrs, se, se!Hic ingrediaturCloked Colusyoncum elato aspectu, deorsum et sursum ambulando.Fan.Cockes armes, what is he?Cr. Con.By Cockes harte, he loketh hye;580He hawketh, me thynke, for a butterflye.C. Count.Nowe, by Cockes harte, well abyden,For, had you not come, I had ryden.Cl. Col.Thy wordes be but wynde, neuer they haue no wayght;Thou hast made me play the iurde hayte.C. Count.And yf ye knewe howe I haue mused,I am sure ye wolde haue me excused.Cl. Col.I say, come hyder: what are these twayne?C. Count.By God, syr, this is Fansy small brayne;And Crafty Conuayaunce, knowe you not hym?590Cl. Col.Knowe hym, syr! quod he; yes, by Saynt Sym.Here is a leysshe of ratches to renne an hare:Woo is that purse that ye shall share!Fan.What call ye him, this?Cr. Con.I trowe, that he is.C. Count.Tushe, holde your pece.Se you not howe they preceFor to knowe your name?Cl. Col.Knowe they not me, they are to blame.Knowe you not me, syrs?600Fan.No, in dede.Cr. Con.Abyde, lette me se, take better hede:Cockes harte, it is Cloked Colusyon.Cl. Col.A, syr, I pray God gyue you confusyon!Fan.Cockes armes, is that your name?C. Count.Ye, by the masse, this is euen the same,That all this matter must vnder grope.Cr. Con.What is this he wereth, a cope?Cl. Col.Cappe, syr; I say you be to bolde.Fan.Se, howe he is wrapped for the colde:610Is it not a vestment?Cl. Col.A, ye wante a rope.C. Count.Tushe, it is Syr Johnn Double cloke.Fan.Syr, and yf ye wolde not be wrothe—Cl. Col.What sayst?Fan.Here was to lytell clothe.Cl. Col.A, Fansy, Fansy, God sende thé brayne!Fan.Ye, for your wyt is cloked for the rayne.Cr. Con.Nay, lette vs not clatter thus styll.Cl. Col.Tell me, syrs, what is your wyll.620C. Count.Syr, it is so that these twayneWith Magnyfycence in housholde do remayne;And there they wolde haue me to dwell,But I wyll be ruled after your counsell.Fan.Mary, so wyll we also.Cl. Col.But tell me where aboute ye go.C. Count.By God, we wolde gete vs all thyder,Spell the remenaunt, and do togyder.Cl. Col.Hath Magnyfycence ony tresure?Cr. Con.Ye, but he spendeth it all in mesure.630Cl. Col.Why, dwelleth Mesure where ye two dwell?In faythe, he were better to dwell in hell.Fan.Yet where we wonne, nowe there wonneth he.Cl. Col.And haue you not amonge you Lyberte?C. Count.Ye, but he is a captyuyte.Cl. Col.What, the deuyll, howe may that be?C. Count.I can not tell you: why aske you me?Aske these two that there dothe dwell.Cl. Col.Syr, the playnesse you tell me.[797]Cr. Con.There dwelleth a mayster men calleth Mesure—640Fan.Ye, and he hath rule of all his tresure.Cr. Con.Nay, eyther let me tell, or elles tell ye.Fan.I care not I, tell on for me.C. Count.I pray God let you neuer to thee!Cl. Col.What the deuyll ayleth you? can you not agree?Cr. Con.I wyll passe ouer the cyrcumstaunce,And shortly shewe you the hole substaunce.Fansy and I, we twayne,With Magnyfycence in housholde do remayne,And counterfeted our names we haue650Craftely all thynges vpryght to saue,His name Largesse, Surueyaunce myne:Magnyfycence to vs begynneth to enclyneCounterfet Countenaunce to haue also,And wolde that we sholde for hym go.C. Count.But shall I haue myne olde name styll?Cr. Con.Pease, I haue not yet sayd what I wyll.Fan.Here is a pystell of a postyke!Cl. Col.Tusshe, fonnysshe Fansy, thou arte frantyke.Tell on, syr, howe then?660Cr. Con.Mary, syr, he tolde vs, whenWe had hym founde, we sholde hym brynge,And that we fayled not for nothynge.Cl. Col.All this ye may easely brynge aboute.Fan.Mary, the better and Mesure were out.Cl. Col.Why, can ye not put out that foule freke?Cr. Con.No, in euery corner he wyll peke,So that we haue no lyberte,Nor no man in courte but he,For Lyberte he hath in gydyng.670C. Count.In fayth, and without Lyberte there is no bydyng.Fan.In fayth, and Lybertyes rome is there but small.Cl. Col.Hem! that lyke I nothynge at all.Cr. Con.But, Counterfet[798]Countenaunce, go we togyder,All thre, I say.C. Count.Shall I go? whyder?Cr. Con.[799]To Magnyfycence with vs twayne,And in his seruyce thé to retayne.C. Count.But then, syr, what shall I hyght?Cr. Con.Ye and I talkyd therof to nyght.680Fan.Ye, my Fansy was out of owle flyght,For it is out of my mynde quyght.Cr. Con.And nowe it cometh to my remembraunce:Syr, ye shall hyght Good Demeynaunce.C. Count.By the armes of Calys, well conceyued!Cr. Con.When we haue hym thyder conuayed,What and I frame suche a slyght,That Fansy with his fonde consaytePut Magnyfycence in suche a madnesse,That he shall haue you in the stede of sadnesse,690And Sober Sadnesse shalbe your name?Cl. Col.By Cockys body, here begynneth the game!For then shall we so craftely cary,That Mesure shall not there longe tary.Fan.For Cockys harte, tary whylyst that I come agayne.Cr. Con.We wyll se you shortly one of vs twayne.C. Count.Now let vs go, and we shall, then.Cl. Col.Nowe let se quyte you lyke praty men.[800]Hic deambulat.To passe the tyme and order whyle a man may talkeOf one thynge and other to occupy the place;700Then for the season that I here shall walke,As good to be occupyed as vp and downe to traceAnd do nothynge; how be it full lytell graceThere cometh and groweth of my comynge,For Clokyd Colusyon is a perylous thynge.Double delynge and I be all one;Craftynge and haftynge contryued is by me;I can dyssemble, I can bothe laughe and grone;Playne delynge and I can neuer agre;But dyuysyon, dyssencyon, dyrysyon, these thre710And I am counterfet of one mynde and thought,By the menys of myschyef to bryng all thynges to nought.And though I be so odyous a geste,And euery man gladly my company wolde refuse,In faythe yet am I occupyed with the best;Full fewe that can themselfe of me excuse.Whan other men laughe, than study I and muse,Deuysynge the meanes and wayes that I can,Howe I may hurte and hynder euery man:Two faces in a hode couertly I bere,720Water in the one hande, and fyre in the other;I can fede forth a fole, and lede hym by the eyre;Falshode in felowshyp is my sworne brother.By cloked colusyon, I say, and none other,Comberaunce and trouble in Englande fyrst I began;From that lorde to that lorde I rode and I ran,And flatered them with fables fayre before theyr face,And tolde all the myschyef I coude behynde theyr backe,And made as I had knowen nothynge of the case;I wolde begyn all myschyef, but I wolde bere no lacke:730Thus can I lerne you, syrs, to bere the deuyls sacke;And yet, I trowe, some of you be better sped than IFrendshyp to fayne, and thynke full lytherly.Paynte to a purpose good countenaunce I can,And craftely can I grope howe euery man is mynded;My purpose is to spy and to poynte euery man;My tonge is with fauell forked and tyned:By Cloked Colusyon thus many one is begyled.Eche man to hynder I gape and I gaspe;My speche is all pleasure, but I stynge lyke a waspe:740I am neuer glad but whan I may do yll,And neuer am I sory but whan that I seI can not myne apyetyte accomplysshe and fulfyllIn hynderaunce of welthe and prosperyte;I laughe at all shrewdenes, and lye at lyberte.I muster, I medle amonge these grete estates,I sowe sedycyous sedes of dyscorde and debates:To flater and to flery is all my pretenceAmonge all suche persones as I well vnderstondeBe lyght of byleue and hasty of credence;750I make them to startyll and sparkyll lyke a bronde,I moue them, I mase them, I make them so fonde,That they wyll here no man but the fyrst tale:And so by these meanes I brewe moche bale.Hic ingrediaturCourtly Abusyoncantando.Court. Ab.Huffa, huffa, taunderum, taunderum, tayne, huffa, huffa!Cl. Col.This was properly prated, syrs! what sayd a?Court. Ab.Rutty bully, ioly rutterkyn, heyda!Cl. Col.De que pays este vous?Et faciat tanquam exiat beretrum cronice.[801]Court. Ab.Decke your hofte and couer a lowce.Cl. Col. Say vous chaunter Venter tre dawce?760Court. Ab.Wyda, wyda.Howe sayst thou, man? am not I a ioly rutter?Cl. Col.Gyue this gentylman rome, syrs, stonde vtter!By God, syr, what nede all this waste?What is this, a betell, or a batowe,[802]or a buskyn lacyd?Court. Ab.What, wenyst thou that I knowe thé not, Clokyd Colusyon?Cl. Col.And wenyst thou that I knowe not thé, cankard Abusyon?Court. Ab.Cankard Jacke Hare, loke thou be not rusty;For thou shalt well knowe I am nother durty nor dusty.Cl. Col.Dusty! nay, syr, ye be all of the lusty,770Howe be it of scape thryfte your clokes smelleth musty:But whether art thou walkynge in faythe vnfaynyd?Court. Ab.Mary, with Magnyfycence I wolde be retaynyd.Cl. Col.By the masse, for the cowrte thou art a mete man:Thy slyppers they swap it, yet thou fotys it lyke a swanne.Court. Ab.Ye, so I can deuyse my gere after the cowrtly maner.Cl. Col.So thou arte personable to bere a prynces baner.By Goddes fote,[803]and I dare well fyght, for I wyll not start.Court. Ab.Nay, thou art a man good inough but for thy false hart.Cl. Col.Well, and I be a coward, ther is mo than I.780Court. Ab.Ye, in faythe, a bolde man and a hardy.Cl. Col.A bolde man in a bole of newe ale in cornys.Court. Ab.Wyll ye se this gentylman is all in his skornys?Cl. Col.But are ye not auysed to dwell where ye spake?Court. Ab.I am of fewe wordys, I loue not to barke.Beryst thou any rome, or cannyst thou do ought?Cannyst thou helpe in fauer that I myght be brought?Cl. Col.I may do somwhat, and more I thynke shall.Here cometh inCrafty Conueyaunce, poyntyng with his fynger, and sayth,Hem, Colusyon!Court. Ab.Cockys harte, who is yonde that for thé dothe call?Cr. Con.[804]Nay, come at ones, for the armys of the dyce!790Court. Ab.Cockys armys, he hath callyd for thé twyce.Cl. Col.By Cockys harte, and call shall agayne:To come to me, I trowe, he shalbe fayne.Court. Ab.What, is thy harte pryckyd with such a prowde pynne?Cl. Col.Tushe, he that hath nede, man, let hym rynne.Cr. Con.Nay, come away, man: thou playst the cayser.Cl. Col.[805]By the masse, thou shalt byde my leyser.Cr. Con.Abyde, syr, quod he! mary, so I do.Court. Ab.He wyll come, man, when he may tende to.Cr. Con.What the deuyll, who sent for thé?800Cl. Col.Here he is nowe, man; mayst thou not se?Cr. Con.What the deuyll, man, what thou menyst?Art thou so angry as thou semyst?Court. Ab.What the deuyll, can ye agre no better?Cr. Con.What the deuyll, where had we this ioly ietter?Cl. Col.What sayst thou, man? why dost thou not supplye,And desyre me thy good mayster to be?Court. Ab.Spekest thou to me?Cl. Col.Ye, so I tell thé.Court. Ab.Cockes bones, I ne tell can810Whiche of you is the better man,Or whiche of you can do most.Cr. Con.In fayth, I rule moche of the rost.Cl. Col.Rule the roste! ye, thou woldest[806]As skante thou had no nede of me.Cr. Con.Nede! yes, mary, I say not nay.Court. Ab.Cockes ha[r]te, I trowe thou wylte make a fray.Cr. Con.Nay, in good faythe, it is but the gyse.Cl. Col.No, for, or we stryke, we wyll be aduysed twyse.Court. Ab.What the deuyll, vse ye not to drawe no swordes?820Cr. Con.No, by my trouthe, but crake grete wordes.
I set not by hym a fly,That can not counterfet a lye,Swere, and stare, and byde therby,And countenaunce it clenly,420And defende it manerly.A knaue wyll counterfet nowe a knyght,A lurdayne lyke a lorde to fyght,[790]A mynstrell lyke a man of myght,A tappyster lyke a lady bryght:Thus make I them wyth thryft to fyght,Thus at the laste I brynge hym[791]ryghtTo Tyburne, where they hange on hyght.To counterfet I can by praty wayes:Of nyghtys to occupy counterfet kayes,430Clenly to counterfet newe arayes,Counterfet eyrnest by way of playes:Thus am I occupyed at all assayes;What so euer I do, all men me prayse,And mekyll am I made of nowe adays:Counterfet maters in the lawe of the lande,Wyth golde and grotes they grese my hande,In stede of ryght that wronge may stande,And counterfet fredome that is bounde;I counterfet[792]suger that is but founde;440Counterfet capytaynes by me are mande;Of all lewdnesse I kyndell the brande;Counterfet kyndnesse, and thynke dyscayte;Counterfet letters by the way of sleyght;Subtelly vsynge counterfet weyght;Counterfet langage, fayty bone geyte.Counterfetynge is a proper bayte;A counte to counterfet in a resayte;To counterfet well is a good consayte.Counterfet maydenhode may well be borne,450But counterfet coynes is laughynge to scorne;It is euyll patchynge of that is torne;Whan the noppe is rughe, it wolde be shorne;Counterfet haltynge without a thorne;Yet counterfet chafer is but euyll corne;All thynge is worse whan it is worne.What, wolde ye, wyues, counterfetThe courtly gyse of the newe iet?An olde barne wolde be vnderset:It is moche worthe that is ferre fet.460What, wanton, wanton, nowe well ymet!What, Margery Mylke Ducke, mermoset!It wolde be masked in my net;It wolde be nyce, thoughe I say nay;By Crede, it wolde haue fresshe aray,And therfore shall my husbande pay;To counterfet she wyll assayAll the newe gyse, fresshe and gaye,And be as praty as she may,And iet it ioly as a iay:470Counterfet prechynge, and byleue the contrary;Counterfet conscyence, peuysshe pope holy;Counterfet sadnesse, with delynge full madly;Counterfet holynes is called ypocrysy;Counterfet reason is not worth a flye;Counterfet wysdome, and workes of foly;Counterfet countenaunce euery man dothe occupy:Counterfet worshyp outwarde men may se;Ryches rydeth out, at home is pouerte;Counterfet pleasure is borne out by me:480Coll wolde go clenly, and it wyll not be,And Annot wolde be nyce, and laughes, tehe wehe;Your counterfet countenaunce is all of nysyte,A plummed partrydge all redy to flye:A knokylbonyarde wyll counterfet a clarke,He wolde trotte gentylly, but he is to starke,At his cloked counterfetynge dogges dothe barke;A carter a courtyer, it is a worthy warke,That with his whyp his mares was wonte to yarke;A custrell to dryue the deuyll out of the derke,490A counterfet courtyer with a knaues marke.To counterfet this freers haue lerned me;This nonnes nowe and then, and it myght be,Wolde take in the way of counterfet charyteThe grace of God vnderbenedicite;To counterfet thyr counsell they gyue me a fee;Chanons can not counterfet but vpon thre,Monkys may not for drede that men sholde them se.Hic ingrediaturFansyproperanter cumCrafty Conueyaunce, cum famine multo[793]adinvicem garrulantes: tandem, visoCounterfet Countenaunce, dicatCrafty Conueyaunce.Cr. Con.What, Counterfet Countenaunce!C. Count.What, Crafty Conueyaunce!500Fan.What, the deuyll, are ye two of aquayntaunce?God gyue you a very myschaunce!Cr. Con.Yes, yes, syr, he and I haue met.C. Count.We haue bene togyder bothe erly and late:But, Fansy my frende, where haue ye bene so longe?Fan.By God, I haue bene about a praty pronge;Crafty Conueyaunce, I sholde say, and I.Cr. Con.By God, we haue made Magnyfycence to ete a flye.C. Count.Howe coulde ye do that, and [I] was away?Fan.By God, man, bothe his pagent and thyne he can play.510C. Count.Say trouth?Cr. Con.Yes, yes, by lakyn, I shall thé warent,As longe as I lyue, thou haste an heyre parent.Fan.Yet haue we pyckyd out a rome for thé.C. Count.Why, shall we dwell togyder all thre?Cr. Con.Why, man, it were to great a wonder,That we thre galauntes sholde be longe asonder.C. Count.For Cockys harte, gyue me thy hande.Fan.By the masse, for ye are able to dystroy an hole lande.Cr. Con.By God, yet it muste begynne moche of thé.520Fan.Who that is ruled by vs, it shalbe longe or he thee.C. Count.But, I say, kepest thou the olde name styll that thou had?Cr. Con.Why, wenyst thou, horson, that I were so mad?Fan.Nay, nay, he hath chaunged his, and I haue chaunged myne.C. Count.Nowe, what is his name, and what is thyne?Fan.In faythe, Largesse I hyght,And I am made a knyght.C. Count.A rebellyon agaynst nature,So large a man, and so lytell of stature!But, syr, howe counterfetyd ye?530Cr. Con.Sure Surueyaunce[794]I named me.C. Count.Surueyaunce! where ye suruey,Thryfte hathe lost her cofer kay.Fan.But is it not well? howe thynkest thou?C. Count.Yes, syr, I gyue God auowe,Myselfe coude not counterfet it better.But what became of the letter,That I counterfeyted you vnderneth a shrowde?Fan.By the masse, odly well alowde.Cr. Con.By God, had not I it conuayed,540Yet Fansy had ben dysceyued.C. Count.I wote, thou arte false ynoughe for one.Fan.By my trouthe, we had ben gone:And yet, in fayth, man, we lacked théFor to speke with Lyberte.C. Count.What is Largesse without Lyberte?Cr. Con.By Mesure mastered yet is he.C. Count.What, is your conueyaunce no better?Fan.In faythe, Mesure is lyke a tetter,That ouergroweth a mannes face,550So he ruleth ouer all our place.Cr. Con.Nowe therfore, whylest we are togyder,—Counterfet Countenaunce, nay, come hyder,—I say, whylest we are togyder in same—C. Count.Tushe, a strawe, it is a shameThat we can no better than so.Fan.We wyll remedy it, man, or we go;For, lyke as mustarde is sharpe of taste,[795]Ryght so a sharpe fansy must be foundeWherwith Mesure to confounde.560Cr. Con.Can you a remedy for a tysyke,That sheweth yourselfe thus spedde in physyke?C. Count.It is a gentyll reason of a rake.Fan.For all these iapes yet that ye[796]make—Cr. Con.Your fansy maketh myne elbowe to ake.Fan.Let se, fynde you a better way.C. Count.Take no dyspleasure of that we say.Cr. Con.Nay, and you be angry and ouerwharte,A man may beshrowe your angry harte.Fan.Tushe, a strawe, I thought none yll.570C. Count.What, shall we iangle thus all the day styll?Cr. Con.Nay, let vs our heddes togyder cast.Fan.Ye, and se howe it may be compast,That Mesure were cast out of the dores.C. Count.Alasse, where is my botes and my spores?Cr. Con.In all this hast whether wyll ye ryde?C. Count.I trowe, it shall not nede to abyde.Cockes woundes, se, syrs, se, se!Hic ingrediaturCloked Colusyoncum elato aspectu, deorsum et sursum ambulando.Fan.Cockes armes, what is he?Cr. Con.By Cockes harte, he loketh hye;580He hawketh, me thynke, for a butterflye.C. Count.Nowe, by Cockes harte, well abyden,For, had you not come, I had ryden.Cl. Col.Thy wordes be but wynde, neuer they haue no wayght;Thou hast made me play the iurde hayte.C. Count.And yf ye knewe howe I haue mused,I am sure ye wolde haue me excused.Cl. Col.I say, come hyder: what are these twayne?C. Count.By God, syr, this is Fansy small brayne;And Crafty Conuayaunce, knowe you not hym?590Cl. Col.Knowe hym, syr! quod he; yes, by Saynt Sym.Here is a leysshe of ratches to renne an hare:Woo is that purse that ye shall share!Fan.What call ye him, this?Cr. Con.I trowe, that he is.C. Count.Tushe, holde your pece.Se you not howe they preceFor to knowe your name?Cl. Col.Knowe they not me, they are to blame.Knowe you not me, syrs?600Fan.No, in dede.Cr. Con.Abyde, lette me se, take better hede:Cockes harte, it is Cloked Colusyon.Cl. Col.A, syr, I pray God gyue you confusyon!Fan.Cockes armes, is that your name?C. Count.Ye, by the masse, this is euen the same,That all this matter must vnder grope.Cr. Con.What is this he wereth, a cope?Cl. Col.Cappe, syr; I say you be to bolde.Fan.Se, howe he is wrapped for the colde:610Is it not a vestment?Cl. Col.A, ye wante a rope.C. Count.Tushe, it is Syr Johnn Double cloke.Fan.Syr, and yf ye wolde not be wrothe—Cl. Col.What sayst?Fan.Here was to lytell clothe.Cl. Col.A, Fansy, Fansy, God sende thé brayne!Fan.Ye, for your wyt is cloked for the rayne.Cr. Con.Nay, lette vs not clatter thus styll.Cl. Col.Tell me, syrs, what is your wyll.620C. Count.Syr, it is so that these twayneWith Magnyfycence in housholde do remayne;And there they wolde haue me to dwell,But I wyll be ruled after your counsell.Fan.Mary, so wyll we also.Cl. Col.But tell me where aboute ye go.C. Count.By God, we wolde gete vs all thyder,Spell the remenaunt, and do togyder.Cl. Col.Hath Magnyfycence ony tresure?Cr. Con.Ye, but he spendeth it all in mesure.630Cl. Col.Why, dwelleth Mesure where ye two dwell?In faythe, he were better to dwell in hell.Fan.Yet where we wonne, nowe there wonneth he.Cl. Col.And haue you not amonge you Lyberte?C. Count.Ye, but he is a captyuyte.Cl. Col.What, the deuyll, howe may that be?C. Count.I can not tell you: why aske you me?Aske these two that there dothe dwell.Cl. Col.Syr, the playnesse you tell me.[797]Cr. Con.There dwelleth a mayster men calleth Mesure—640Fan.Ye, and he hath rule of all his tresure.Cr. Con.Nay, eyther let me tell, or elles tell ye.Fan.I care not I, tell on for me.C. Count.I pray God let you neuer to thee!Cl. Col.What the deuyll ayleth you? can you not agree?Cr. Con.I wyll passe ouer the cyrcumstaunce,And shortly shewe you the hole substaunce.Fansy and I, we twayne,With Magnyfycence in housholde do remayne,And counterfeted our names we haue650Craftely all thynges vpryght to saue,His name Largesse, Surueyaunce myne:Magnyfycence to vs begynneth to enclyneCounterfet Countenaunce to haue also,And wolde that we sholde for hym go.C. Count.But shall I haue myne olde name styll?Cr. Con.Pease, I haue not yet sayd what I wyll.Fan.Here is a pystell of a postyke!Cl. Col.Tusshe, fonnysshe Fansy, thou arte frantyke.Tell on, syr, howe then?660Cr. Con.Mary, syr, he tolde vs, whenWe had hym founde, we sholde hym brynge,And that we fayled not for nothynge.Cl. Col.All this ye may easely brynge aboute.Fan.Mary, the better and Mesure were out.Cl. Col.Why, can ye not put out that foule freke?Cr. Con.No, in euery corner he wyll peke,So that we haue no lyberte,Nor no man in courte but he,For Lyberte he hath in gydyng.670C. Count.In fayth, and without Lyberte there is no bydyng.Fan.In fayth, and Lybertyes rome is there but small.Cl. Col.Hem! that lyke I nothynge at all.Cr. Con.But, Counterfet[798]Countenaunce, go we togyder,All thre, I say.C. Count.Shall I go? whyder?Cr. Con.[799]To Magnyfycence with vs twayne,And in his seruyce thé to retayne.C. Count.But then, syr, what shall I hyght?Cr. Con.Ye and I talkyd therof to nyght.680Fan.Ye, my Fansy was out of owle flyght,For it is out of my mynde quyght.Cr. Con.And nowe it cometh to my remembraunce:Syr, ye shall hyght Good Demeynaunce.C. Count.By the armes of Calys, well conceyued!Cr. Con.When we haue hym thyder conuayed,What and I frame suche a slyght,That Fansy with his fonde consaytePut Magnyfycence in suche a madnesse,That he shall haue you in the stede of sadnesse,690And Sober Sadnesse shalbe your name?Cl. Col.By Cockys body, here begynneth the game!For then shall we so craftely cary,That Mesure shall not there longe tary.Fan.For Cockys harte, tary whylyst that I come agayne.Cr. Con.We wyll se you shortly one of vs twayne.C. Count.Now let vs go, and we shall, then.Cl. Col.Nowe let se quyte you lyke praty men.[800]Hic deambulat.To passe the tyme and order whyle a man may talkeOf one thynge and other to occupy the place;700Then for the season that I here shall walke,As good to be occupyed as vp and downe to traceAnd do nothynge; how be it full lytell graceThere cometh and groweth of my comynge,For Clokyd Colusyon is a perylous thynge.Double delynge and I be all one;Craftynge and haftynge contryued is by me;I can dyssemble, I can bothe laughe and grone;Playne delynge and I can neuer agre;But dyuysyon, dyssencyon, dyrysyon, these thre710And I am counterfet of one mynde and thought,By the menys of myschyef to bryng all thynges to nought.And though I be so odyous a geste,And euery man gladly my company wolde refuse,In faythe yet am I occupyed with the best;Full fewe that can themselfe of me excuse.Whan other men laughe, than study I and muse,Deuysynge the meanes and wayes that I can,Howe I may hurte and hynder euery man:Two faces in a hode couertly I bere,720Water in the one hande, and fyre in the other;I can fede forth a fole, and lede hym by the eyre;Falshode in felowshyp is my sworne brother.By cloked colusyon, I say, and none other,Comberaunce and trouble in Englande fyrst I began;From that lorde to that lorde I rode and I ran,And flatered them with fables fayre before theyr face,And tolde all the myschyef I coude behynde theyr backe,And made as I had knowen nothynge of the case;I wolde begyn all myschyef, but I wolde bere no lacke:730Thus can I lerne you, syrs, to bere the deuyls sacke;And yet, I trowe, some of you be better sped than IFrendshyp to fayne, and thynke full lytherly.Paynte to a purpose good countenaunce I can,And craftely can I grope howe euery man is mynded;My purpose is to spy and to poynte euery man;My tonge is with fauell forked and tyned:By Cloked Colusyon thus many one is begyled.Eche man to hynder I gape and I gaspe;My speche is all pleasure, but I stynge lyke a waspe:740I am neuer glad but whan I may do yll,And neuer am I sory but whan that I seI can not myne apyetyte accomplysshe and fulfyllIn hynderaunce of welthe and prosperyte;I laughe at all shrewdenes, and lye at lyberte.I muster, I medle amonge these grete estates,I sowe sedycyous sedes of dyscorde and debates:To flater and to flery is all my pretenceAmonge all suche persones as I well vnderstondeBe lyght of byleue and hasty of credence;750I make them to startyll and sparkyll lyke a bronde,I moue them, I mase them, I make them so fonde,That they wyll here no man but the fyrst tale:And so by these meanes I brewe moche bale.Hic ingrediaturCourtly Abusyoncantando.Court. Ab.Huffa, huffa, taunderum, taunderum, tayne, huffa, huffa!Cl. Col.This was properly prated, syrs! what sayd a?Court. Ab.Rutty bully, ioly rutterkyn, heyda!Cl. Col.De que pays este vous?Et faciat tanquam exiat beretrum cronice.[801]Court. Ab.Decke your hofte and couer a lowce.Cl. Col. Say vous chaunter Venter tre dawce?760Court. Ab.Wyda, wyda.Howe sayst thou, man? am not I a ioly rutter?Cl. Col.Gyue this gentylman rome, syrs, stonde vtter!By God, syr, what nede all this waste?What is this, a betell, or a batowe,[802]or a buskyn lacyd?Court. Ab.What, wenyst thou that I knowe thé not, Clokyd Colusyon?Cl. Col.And wenyst thou that I knowe not thé, cankard Abusyon?Court. Ab.Cankard Jacke Hare, loke thou be not rusty;For thou shalt well knowe I am nother durty nor dusty.Cl. Col.Dusty! nay, syr, ye be all of the lusty,770Howe be it of scape thryfte your clokes smelleth musty:But whether art thou walkynge in faythe vnfaynyd?Court. Ab.Mary, with Magnyfycence I wolde be retaynyd.Cl. Col.By the masse, for the cowrte thou art a mete man:Thy slyppers they swap it, yet thou fotys it lyke a swanne.Court. Ab.Ye, so I can deuyse my gere after the cowrtly maner.Cl. Col.So thou arte personable to bere a prynces baner.By Goddes fote,[803]and I dare well fyght, for I wyll not start.Court. Ab.Nay, thou art a man good inough but for thy false hart.Cl. Col.Well, and I be a coward, ther is mo than I.780Court. Ab.Ye, in faythe, a bolde man and a hardy.Cl. Col.A bolde man in a bole of newe ale in cornys.Court. Ab.Wyll ye se this gentylman is all in his skornys?Cl. Col.But are ye not auysed to dwell where ye spake?Court. Ab.I am of fewe wordys, I loue not to barke.Beryst thou any rome, or cannyst thou do ought?Cannyst thou helpe in fauer that I myght be brought?Cl. Col.I may do somwhat, and more I thynke shall.Here cometh inCrafty Conueyaunce, poyntyng with his fynger, and sayth,Hem, Colusyon!Court. Ab.Cockys harte, who is yonde that for thé dothe call?Cr. Con.[804]Nay, come at ones, for the armys of the dyce!790Court. Ab.Cockys armys, he hath callyd for thé twyce.Cl. Col.By Cockys harte, and call shall agayne:To come to me, I trowe, he shalbe fayne.Court. Ab.What, is thy harte pryckyd with such a prowde pynne?Cl. Col.Tushe, he that hath nede, man, let hym rynne.Cr. Con.Nay, come away, man: thou playst the cayser.Cl. Col.[805]By the masse, thou shalt byde my leyser.Cr. Con.Abyde, syr, quod he! mary, so I do.Court. Ab.He wyll come, man, when he may tende to.Cr. Con.What the deuyll, who sent for thé?800Cl. Col.Here he is nowe, man; mayst thou not se?Cr. Con.What the deuyll, man, what thou menyst?Art thou so angry as thou semyst?Court. Ab.What the deuyll, can ye agre no better?Cr. Con.What the deuyll, where had we this ioly ietter?Cl. Col.What sayst thou, man? why dost thou not supplye,And desyre me thy good mayster to be?Court. Ab.Spekest thou to me?Cl. Col.Ye, so I tell thé.Court. Ab.Cockes bones, I ne tell can810Whiche of you is the better man,Or whiche of you can do most.Cr. Con.In fayth, I rule moche of the rost.Cl. Col.Rule the roste! ye, thou woldest[806]As skante thou had no nede of me.Cr. Con.Nede! yes, mary, I say not nay.Court. Ab.Cockes ha[r]te, I trowe thou wylte make a fray.Cr. Con.Nay, in good faythe, it is but the gyse.Cl. Col.No, for, or we stryke, we wyll be aduysed twyse.Court. Ab.What the deuyll, vse ye not to drawe no swordes?820Cr. Con.No, by my trouthe, but crake grete wordes.
I set not by hym a fly,
That can not counterfet a lye,
Swere, and stare, and byde therby,
And countenaunce it clenly,420
And defende it manerly.
A knaue wyll counterfet nowe a knyght,
A lurdayne lyke a lorde to fyght,[790]
A mynstrell lyke a man of myght,
A tappyster lyke a lady bryght:
Thus make I them wyth thryft to fyght,
Thus at the laste I brynge hym[791]ryght
To Tyburne, where they hange on hyght.
To counterfet I can by praty wayes:
Of nyghtys to occupy counterfet kayes,430
Clenly to counterfet newe arayes,
Counterfet eyrnest by way of playes:
Thus am I occupyed at all assayes;
What so euer I do, all men me prayse,
And mekyll am I made of nowe adays:
Counterfet maters in the lawe of the lande,
Wyth golde and grotes they grese my hande,
In stede of ryght that wronge may stande,
And counterfet fredome that is bounde;
I counterfet[792]suger that is but founde;440
Counterfet capytaynes by me are mande;
Of all lewdnesse I kyndell the brande;
Counterfet kyndnesse, and thynke dyscayte;
Counterfet letters by the way of sleyght;
Subtelly vsynge counterfet weyght;
Counterfet langage, fayty bone geyte.
Counterfetynge is a proper bayte;
A counte to counterfet in a resayte;
To counterfet well is a good consayte.
Counterfet maydenhode may well be borne,450
But counterfet coynes is laughynge to scorne;
It is euyll patchynge of that is torne;
Whan the noppe is rughe, it wolde be shorne;
Counterfet haltynge without a thorne;
Yet counterfet chafer is but euyll corne;
All thynge is worse whan it is worne.
What, wolde ye, wyues, counterfet
The courtly gyse of the newe iet?
An olde barne wolde be vnderset:
It is moche worthe that is ferre fet.460
What, wanton, wanton, nowe well ymet!
What, Margery Mylke Ducke, mermoset!
It wolde be masked in my net;
It wolde be nyce, thoughe I say nay;
By Crede, it wolde haue fresshe aray,
And therfore shall my husbande pay;
To counterfet she wyll assay
All the newe gyse, fresshe and gaye,
And be as praty as she may,
And iet it ioly as a iay:470
Counterfet prechynge, and byleue the contrary;
Counterfet conscyence, peuysshe pope holy;
Counterfet sadnesse, with delynge full madly;
Counterfet holynes is called ypocrysy;
Counterfet reason is not worth a flye;
Counterfet wysdome, and workes of foly;
Counterfet countenaunce euery man dothe occupy:
Counterfet worshyp outwarde men may se;
Ryches rydeth out, at home is pouerte;
Counterfet pleasure is borne out by me:480
Coll wolde go clenly, and it wyll not be,
And Annot wolde be nyce, and laughes, tehe wehe;
Your counterfet countenaunce is all of nysyte,
A plummed partrydge all redy to flye:
A knokylbonyarde wyll counterfet a clarke,
He wolde trotte gentylly, but he is to starke,
At his cloked counterfetynge dogges dothe barke;
A carter a courtyer, it is a worthy warke,
That with his whyp his mares was wonte to yarke;
A custrell to dryue the deuyll out of the derke,490
A counterfet courtyer with a knaues marke.
To counterfet this freers haue lerned me;
This nonnes nowe and then, and it myght be,
Wolde take in the way of counterfet charyte
The grace of God vnderbenedicite;
To counterfet thyr counsell they gyue me a fee;
Chanons can not counterfet but vpon thre,
Monkys may not for drede that men sholde them se.
Hic ingrediaturFansyproperanter cumCrafty Conueyaunce, cum famine multo[793]adinvicem garrulantes: tandem, visoCounterfet Countenaunce, dicatCrafty Conueyaunce.
Hic ingrediaturFansyproperanter cumCrafty Conueyaunce, cum famine multo[793]adinvicem garrulantes: tandem, visoCounterfet Countenaunce, dicatCrafty Conueyaunce.
Cr. Con.What, Counterfet Countenaunce!
C. Count.What, Crafty Conueyaunce!500
Fan.What, the deuyll, are ye two of aquayntaunce?
God gyue you a very myschaunce!
Cr. Con.Yes, yes, syr, he and I haue met.
C. Count.We haue bene togyder bothe erly and late:
But, Fansy my frende, where haue ye bene so longe?
Fan.By God, I haue bene about a praty pronge;
Crafty Conueyaunce, I sholde say, and I.
Cr. Con.By God, we haue made Magnyfycence to ete a flye.
C. Count.Howe coulde ye do that, and [I] was away?
Fan.By God, man, bothe his pagent and thyne he can play.510
C. Count.Say trouth?
Cr. Con.Yes, yes, by lakyn, I shall thé warent,
As longe as I lyue, thou haste an heyre parent.
Fan.Yet haue we pyckyd out a rome for thé.
C. Count.Why, shall we dwell togyder all thre?
Cr. Con.Why, man, it were to great a wonder,
That we thre galauntes sholde be longe asonder.
C. Count.For Cockys harte, gyue me thy hande.
Fan.By the masse, for ye are able to dystroy an hole lande.
Cr. Con.By God, yet it muste begynne moche of thé.520
Fan.Who that is ruled by vs, it shalbe longe or he thee.
C. Count.But, I say, kepest thou the olde name styll that thou had?
Cr. Con.Why, wenyst thou, horson, that I were so mad?
Fan.Nay, nay, he hath chaunged his, and I haue chaunged myne.
C. Count.Nowe, what is his name, and what is thyne?
Fan.In faythe, Largesse I hyght,
And I am made a knyght.
C. Count.A rebellyon agaynst nature,
So large a man, and so lytell of stature!
But, syr, howe counterfetyd ye?530
Cr. Con.Sure Surueyaunce[794]I named me.
C. Count.Surueyaunce! where ye suruey,
Thryfte hathe lost her cofer kay.
Fan.But is it not well? howe thynkest thou?
C. Count.Yes, syr, I gyue God auowe,
Myselfe coude not counterfet it better.
But what became of the letter,
That I counterfeyted you vnderneth a shrowde?
Fan.By the masse, odly well alowde.
Cr. Con.By God, had not I it conuayed,540
Yet Fansy had ben dysceyued.
C. Count.I wote, thou arte false ynoughe for one.
Fan.By my trouthe, we had ben gone:
And yet, in fayth, man, we lacked thé
For to speke with Lyberte.
C. Count.What is Largesse without Lyberte?
Cr. Con.By Mesure mastered yet is he.
C. Count.What, is your conueyaunce no better?
Fan.In faythe, Mesure is lyke a tetter,
That ouergroweth a mannes face,550
So he ruleth ouer all our place.
Cr. Con.Nowe therfore, whylest we are togyder,—
Counterfet Countenaunce, nay, come hyder,—
I say, whylest we are togyder in same—
C. Count.Tushe, a strawe, it is a shame
That we can no better than so.
Fan.We wyll remedy it, man, or we go;
For, lyke as mustarde is sharpe of taste,[795]
Ryght so a sharpe fansy must be founde
Wherwith Mesure to confounde.560
Cr. Con.Can you a remedy for a tysyke,
That sheweth yourselfe thus spedde in physyke?
C. Count.It is a gentyll reason of a rake.
Fan.For all these iapes yet that ye[796]make—
Cr. Con.Your fansy maketh myne elbowe to ake.
Fan.Let se, fynde you a better way.
C. Count.Take no dyspleasure of that we say.
Cr. Con.Nay, and you be angry and ouerwharte,
A man may beshrowe your angry harte.
Fan.Tushe, a strawe, I thought none yll.570
C. Count.What, shall we iangle thus all the day styll?
Cr. Con.Nay, let vs our heddes togyder cast.
Fan.Ye, and se howe it may be compast,
That Mesure were cast out of the dores.
C. Count.Alasse, where is my botes and my spores?
Cr. Con.In all this hast whether wyll ye ryde?
C. Count.I trowe, it shall not nede to abyde.
Cockes woundes, se, syrs, se, se!
Hic ingrediaturCloked Colusyoncum elato aspectu, deorsum et sursum ambulando.
Hic ingrediaturCloked Colusyoncum elato aspectu, deorsum et sursum ambulando.
Fan.Cockes armes, what is he?
Cr. Con.By Cockes harte, he loketh hye;580
He hawketh, me thynke, for a butterflye.
C. Count.Nowe, by Cockes harte, well abyden,
For, had you not come, I had ryden.
Cl. Col.Thy wordes be but wynde, neuer they haue no wayght;
Thou hast made me play the iurde hayte.
C. Count.And yf ye knewe howe I haue mused,
I am sure ye wolde haue me excused.
Cl. Col.I say, come hyder: what are these twayne?
C. Count.By God, syr, this is Fansy small brayne;
And Crafty Conuayaunce, knowe you not hym?590
Cl. Col.Knowe hym, syr! quod he; yes, by Saynt Sym.
Here is a leysshe of ratches to renne an hare:
Woo is that purse that ye shall share!
Fan.What call ye him, this?
Cr. Con.I trowe, that he is.
C. Count.Tushe, holde your pece.
Se you not howe they prece
For to knowe your name?
Cl. Col.Knowe they not me, they are to blame.
Knowe you not me, syrs?600
Fan.No, in dede.
Cr. Con.Abyde, lette me se, take better hede:
Cockes harte, it is Cloked Colusyon.
Cl. Col.A, syr, I pray God gyue you confusyon!
Fan.Cockes armes, is that your name?
C. Count.Ye, by the masse, this is euen the same,
That all this matter must vnder grope.
Cr. Con.What is this he wereth, a cope?
Cl. Col.Cappe, syr; I say you be to bolde.
Fan.Se, howe he is wrapped for the colde:610
Is it not a vestment?
Cl. Col.A, ye wante a rope.
C. Count.Tushe, it is Syr Johnn Double cloke.
Fan.Syr, and yf ye wolde not be wrothe—
Cl. Col.What sayst?
Fan.Here was to lytell clothe.
Cl. Col.A, Fansy, Fansy, God sende thé brayne!
Fan.Ye, for your wyt is cloked for the rayne.
Cr. Con.Nay, lette vs not clatter thus styll.
Cl. Col.Tell me, syrs, what is your wyll.620
C. Count.Syr, it is so that these twayne
With Magnyfycence in housholde do remayne;
And there they wolde haue me to dwell,
But I wyll be ruled after your counsell.
Fan.Mary, so wyll we also.
Cl. Col.But tell me where aboute ye go.
C. Count.By God, we wolde gete vs all thyder,
Spell the remenaunt, and do togyder.
Cl. Col.Hath Magnyfycence ony tresure?
Cr. Con.Ye, but he spendeth it all in mesure.630
Cl. Col.Why, dwelleth Mesure where ye two dwell?
In faythe, he were better to dwell in hell.
Fan.Yet where we wonne, nowe there wonneth he.
Cl. Col.And haue you not amonge you Lyberte?
C. Count.Ye, but he is a captyuyte.
Cl. Col.What, the deuyll, howe may that be?
C. Count.I can not tell you: why aske you me?
Aske these two that there dothe dwell.
Cl. Col.Syr, the playnesse you tell me.[797]
Cr. Con.There dwelleth a mayster men calleth Mesure—640
Fan.Ye, and he hath rule of all his tresure.
Cr. Con.Nay, eyther let me tell, or elles tell ye.
Fan.I care not I, tell on for me.
C. Count.I pray God let you neuer to thee!
Cl. Col.What the deuyll ayleth you? can you not agree?
Cr. Con.I wyll passe ouer the cyrcumstaunce,
And shortly shewe you the hole substaunce.
Fansy and I, we twayne,
With Magnyfycence in housholde do remayne,
And counterfeted our names we haue650
Craftely all thynges vpryght to saue,
His name Largesse, Surueyaunce myne:
Magnyfycence to vs begynneth to enclyne
Counterfet Countenaunce to haue also,
And wolde that we sholde for hym go.
C. Count.But shall I haue myne olde name styll?
Cr. Con.Pease, I haue not yet sayd what I wyll.
Fan.Here is a pystell of a postyke!
Cl. Col.Tusshe, fonnysshe Fansy, thou arte frantyke.
Tell on, syr, howe then?660
Cr. Con.Mary, syr, he tolde vs, when
We had hym founde, we sholde hym brynge,
And that we fayled not for nothynge.
Cl. Col.All this ye may easely brynge aboute.
Fan.Mary, the better and Mesure were out.
Cl. Col.Why, can ye not put out that foule freke?
Cr. Con.No, in euery corner he wyll peke,
So that we haue no lyberte,
Nor no man in courte but he,
For Lyberte he hath in gydyng.670
C. Count.In fayth, and without Lyberte there is no bydyng.
Fan.In fayth, and Lybertyes rome is there but small.
Cl. Col.Hem! that lyke I nothynge at all.
Cr. Con.But, Counterfet[798]Countenaunce, go we togyder,
All thre, I say.
C. Count.Shall I go? whyder?
Cr. Con.[799]To Magnyfycence with vs twayne,
And in his seruyce thé to retayne.
C. Count.But then, syr, what shall I hyght?
Cr. Con.Ye and I talkyd therof to nyght.680
Fan.Ye, my Fansy was out of owle flyght,
For it is out of my mynde quyght.
Cr. Con.And nowe it cometh to my remembraunce:
Syr, ye shall hyght Good Demeynaunce.
C. Count.By the armes of Calys, well conceyued!
Cr. Con.When we haue hym thyder conuayed,
What and I frame suche a slyght,
That Fansy with his fonde consayte
Put Magnyfycence in suche a madnesse,
That he shall haue you in the stede of sadnesse,690
And Sober Sadnesse shalbe your name?
Cl. Col.By Cockys body, here begynneth the game!
For then shall we so craftely cary,
That Mesure shall not there longe tary.
Fan.For Cockys harte, tary whylyst that I come agayne.
Cr. Con.We wyll se you shortly one of vs twayne.
C. Count.Now let vs go, and we shall, then.
Cl. Col.Nowe let se quyte you lyke praty men.[800]
Hic deambulat.
Hic deambulat.
To passe the tyme and order whyle a man may talke
Of one thynge and other to occupy the place;700
Then for the season that I here shall walke,
As good to be occupyed as vp and downe to trace
And do nothynge; how be it full lytell grace
There cometh and groweth of my comynge,
For Clokyd Colusyon is a perylous thynge.
Double delynge and I be all one;
Craftynge and haftynge contryued is by me;
I can dyssemble, I can bothe laughe and grone;
Playne delynge and I can neuer agre;
But dyuysyon, dyssencyon, dyrysyon, these thre710
And I am counterfet of one mynde and thought,
By the menys of myschyef to bryng all thynges to nought.
And though I be so odyous a geste,
And euery man gladly my company wolde refuse,
In faythe yet am I occupyed with the best;
Full fewe that can themselfe of me excuse.
Whan other men laughe, than study I and muse,
Deuysynge the meanes and wayes that I can,
Howe I may hurte and hynder euery man:
Two faces in a hode couertly I bere,720
Water in the one hande, and fyre in the other;
I can fede forth a fole, and lede hym by the eyre;
Falshode in felowshyp is my sworne brother.
By cloked colusyon, I say, and none other,
Comberaunce and trouble in Englande fyrst I began;
From that lorde to that lorde I rode and I ran,
And flatered them with fables fayre before theyr face,
And tolde all the myschyef I coude behynde theyr backe,
And made as I had knowen nothynge of the case;
I wolde begyn all myschyef, but I wolde bere no lacke:730
Thus can I lerne you, syrs, to bere the deuyls sacke;
And yet, I trowe, some of you be better sped than I
Frendshyp to fayne, and thynke full lytherly.
Paynte to a purpose good countenaunce I can,
And craftely can I grope howe euery man is mynded;
My purpose is to spy and to poynte euery man;
My tonge is with fauell forked and tyned:
By Cloked Colusyon thus many one is begyled.
Eche man to hynder I gape and I gaspe;
My speche is all pleasure, but I stynge lyke a waspe:740
I am neuer glad but whan I may do yll,
And neuer am I sory but whan that I se
I can not myne apyetyte accomplysshe and fulfyll
In hynderaunce of welthe and prosperyte;
I laughe at all shrewdenes, and lye at lyberte.
I muster, I medle amonge these grete estates,
I sowe sedycyous sedes of dyscorde and debates:
To flater and to flery is all my pretence
Amonge all suche persones as I well vnderstonde
Be lyght of byleue and hasty of credence;750
I make them to startyll and sparkyll lyke a bronde,
I moue them, I mase them, I make them so fonde,
That they wyll here no man but the fyrst tale:
And so by these meanes I brewe moche bale.
Hic ingrediaturCourtly Abusyoncantando.
Hic ingrediaturCourtly Abusyoncantando.
Court. Ab.Huffa, huffa, taunderum, taunderum, tayne, huffa, huffa!
Cl. Col.This was properly prated, syrs! what sayd a?
Court. Ab.Rutty bully, ioly rutterkyn, heyda!
Cl. Col.De que pays este vous?
Et faciat tanquam exiat beretrum cronice.[801]
Et faciat tanquam exiat beretrum cronice.[801]
Court. Ab.Decke your hofte and couer a lowce.
Cl. Col. Say vous chaunter Venter tre dawce?760
Court. Ab.Wyda, wyda.
Howe sayst thou, man? am not I a ioly rutter?
Cl. Col.Gyue this gentylman rome, syrs, stonde vtter!
By God, syr, what nede all this waste?
What is this, a betell, or a batowe,[802]or a buskyn lacyd?
Court. Ab.What, wenyst thou that I knowe thé not, Clokyd Colusyon?
Cl. Col.And wenyst thou that I knowe not thé, cankard Abusyon?
Court. Ab.Cankard Jacke Hare, loke thou be not rusty;
For thou shalt well knowe I am nother durty nor dusty.
Cl. Col.Dusty! nay, syr, ye be all of the lusty,770
Howe be it of scape thryfte your clokes smelleth musty:
But whether art thou walkynge in faythe vnfaynyd?
Court. Ab.Mary, with Magnyfycence I wolde be retaynyd.
Cl. Col.By the masse, for the cowrte thou art a mete man:
Thy slyppers they swap it, yet thou fotys it lyke a swanne.
Court. Ab.Ye, so I can deuyse my gere after the cowrtly maner.
Cl. Col.So thou arte personable to bere a prynces baner.
By Goddes fote,[803]and I dare well fyght, for I wyll not start.
Court. Ab.Nay, thou art a man good inough but for thy false hart.
Cl. Col.Well, and I be a coward, ther is mo than I.780
Court. Ab.Ye, in faythe, a bolde man and a hardy.
Cl. Col.A bolde man in a bole of newe ale in cornys.
Court. Ab.Wyll ye se this gentylman is all in his skornys?
Cl. Col.But are ye not auysed to dwell where ye spake?
Court. Ab.I am of fewe wordys, I loue not to barke.
Beryst thou any rome, or cannyst thou do ought?
Cannyst thou helpe in fauer that I myght be brought?
Cl. Col.I may do somwhat, and more I thynke shall.
Here cometh inCrafty Conueyaunce, poyntyng with his fynger, and sayth,Hem, Colusyon!
Here cometh inCrafty Conueyaunce, poyntyng with his fynger, and sayth,Hem, Colusyon!
Court. Ab.Cockys harte, who is yonde that for thé dothe call?
Cr. Con.[804]Nay, come at ones, for the armys of the dyce!790
Court. Ab.Cockys armys, he hath callyd for thé twyce.
Cl. Col.By Cockys harte, and call shall agayne:
To come to me, I trowe, he shalbe fayne.
Court. Ab.What, is thy harte pryckyd with such a prowde pynne?
Cl. Col.Tushe, he that hath nede, man, let hym rynne.
Cr. Con.Nay, come away, man: thou playst the cayser.
Cl. Col.[805]By the masse, thou shalt byde my leyser.
Cr. Con.Abyde, syr, quod he! mary, so I do.
Court. Ab.He wyll come, man, when he may tende to.
Cr. Con.What the deuyll, who sent for thé?800
Cl. Col.Here he is nowe, man; mayst thou not se?
Cr. Con.What the deuyll, man, what thou menyst?
Art thou so angry as thou semyst?
Court. Ab.What the deuyll, can ye agre no better?
Cr. Con.What the deuyll, where had we this ioly ietter?
Cl. Col.What sayst thou, man? why dost thou not supplye,
And desyre me thy good mayster to be?
Court. Ab.Spekest thou to me?
Cl. Col.Ye, so I tell thé.
Court. Ab.Cockes bones, I ne tell can810
Whiche of you is the better man,
Or whiche of you can do most.
Cr. Con.In fayth, I rule moche of the rost.
Cl. Col.Rule the roste! ye, thou woldest[806]
As skante thou had no nede of me.
Cr. Con.Nede! yes, mary, I say not nay.
Court. Ab.Cockes ha[r]te, I trowe thou wylte make a fray.
Cr. Con.Nay, in good faythe, it is but the gyse.
Cl. Col.No, for, or we stryke, we wyll be aduysed twyse.
Court. Ab.What the deuyll, vse ye not to drawe no swordes?820
Cr. Con.No, by my trouthe, but crake grete wordes.