Chapter 23

Cr. Con.Hast thou ony more? let se, procede.Fol.Ye, by God, syr, for a nede,I haue another maner of sorte,That I laugh at for my dysporte;And those be they that come vp of nought,As some be not ferre, and yf it were well sought:Suche dawys, what soeuer they be,That be set in auctorite,Anone he waxyth so hy and prowde,1260He frownyth fyersly, brymly browde,The knaue wolde make it koy, and he cowde;All that he dothe, muste be alowde;And, This is not well done, syr, take hede;And maketh hym besy where is no nede:He dawnsys so longe, hey, troly loly,That euery man lawghyth at his foly.Cr. Con.By the good Lorde, truthe he sayth.Fan.Thynkyst thou not so, by thy fayth?Cr. Con.Thynke I not so, quod he! ellys haue I shame,1270For I knowe dyuerse that vseth the same.Fol.But nowe, forsothe, man, it maketh no mater;For they that wyll so bysely smater,So helpe me God, man, euer at the lengthI make hym[823]lese moche of theyr strength;For with foly so do I them lede,That wyt he wantyth when he hath moste nede.Fan.Forsothe, tell on: hast thou any mo?[824]Fol.Yes, I shall tell you, or I go,Of dyuerse mo that hauntyth my scolys.1280Cr. Con.All men beware of suche folys!Fol.There be two lyther, rude and ranke,Symkyn Tytyuell and Pers Pykthanke;Theys lythers I lerne them for to lereWhat he sayth and she sayth to lay good ere,And tell to his sufferayne euery whyt,And then he is moche made of for his wyt;[825]And, be the mater yll more or lesse,He wyll make it mykyll worse than it is:But all that he dothe, and yf he reken well,1290It is but foly euery dell.Fan.Are not his wordys cursydly cowchyd?Cr. Con.By God, there be some that be shroudly towchyd:But, I say, let se and yf thou haue any more.Fol.I haue an hole armory of suche haburdashe in store;For there be other that foly dothe vse,That folowe fonde fantasyes and vertu refuse.Fan.Nay, that is my parte that thou spekest of nowe.Fol.So is all the remenaunt, I make God auowe;For thou fourmest suche fantasyes in theyr mynde,1300That euery man almost groweth out of kynde.Cr. Con.By the masse, I am glad that I came hyder,To here you two rutters dyspute togyder.Fan.Nay, but Fansy must be eyther fyrst or last.Fol.But whan Foly cometh, all is past.Fan.I wote not whether it cometh of thé or of me,But all is foly that I can se.Cr. Con.Mary, syr, ye may swere it on a boke.Fol.Ye, tourne ouer the lefe, rede there and loke,Howe frantyke Fansy fyrst of all1310Maketh man and woman in foly to fall.Cr. Con.A, syr, a, a! howe by that!Fan.A peryllous thynge, to cast a catVpon a naked man, and yf she scrat.Fol.So how, I say, the hare is squat!For, frantyke Fansy, thou makest men madde;And I, Foly, bryngeth them toqui fuitgadde,Withqui fuitbrayne seke I haue them broughtFromqui fuit aliquidto shyre shakynge nought.Cr. Con.Well argued and surely on bothe sydes:1320But for thé, Fansy, Magnyfycence abydes.Fan.Why, shall I not haue Foly with me also?Cr. Con.Yes, perde, man, whether that ye ryde or go:Yet for his name we must fynde a slyght.[826]Fan.By the masse, he shall hyght Consayte.Cr. Con.Not a better name vnder the sonne:With Magnyfycence thou shalte wonne.Fol.God haue mercy, good godfather.Cr. Con.Yet I wolde that ye had gone rather;For, as sone as you come in Magnyfycence syght,1330All mesure and good rule is gone quyte.Fan.And shall we haue lyberte to do what we wyll?Cr. Con.Ryot at lyberte russheth it out styll.Fol.Ye, but tell me one thynge.Cr. Con.What is that?Fol.Who is mayster of the masshe fat?Fan.Ye, for he hathe a full dry soule.Cr. Con.Cockes armes, thou shalte kepe the brewhouse boule.Fol.But may I drynke therof whylest that I stare?Cr. Con.When mesure is gone, what nedest thou spare?1340Whan mesure is gone, we may slee care.Fol.Nowe then goo we hens, away the mare![827]Crafty Conueyauncealone in the place.Cr. Con.It is wonder to se the worlde aboute,To se what foly is vsed in euery place;Foly hath a rome, I say, in euery route,To put, where he lyst, Foly hath fre chace;Foly and Fansy all where, euery man dothe face and brace;Foly fotyth it properly, Fansy ledyth the dawnce;And next come I after, Crafty Conueyaunce.Who so to me gyueth good aduertence,1350Shall se many thyngys donne craftely:By me conueyed is wanton insolence,Pryuy poyntmentys conueyed so properly,For many tymes moche kyndnesse is denyedFor drede that we dare not ofte lest we be spyed;By me is conueyed mykyll praty ware,Somtyme, I say, behynde the dore for nede;I haue an hoby can make larkys to dare;I knyt togyther many a broken threde.It is great almesse the hungre[828]to fede,1360To clothe the nakyd where is lackynge a smocke,Trymme at her tayle, or a man can turne a socke:What howe, be ye mery! was it not well conueyed?As oft as ye lyst, so honeste be sauyd;Alas, dere harte, loke that we be not perseyuyd!Without crafte nothynge is well behauyd;Though I shewe you curtesy, say not that I craue,[829]Yet conuey it craftely, and hardely spare not for me,So that there knowe no man but I and she.Thefte also and pety brybery1370Without me be full oft aspyed;My inwyt delynge there can no man dyscry,Conuey it be crafte, lyft and lay asyde:Full moche flatery and falsehode I hyde,And by crafty conueyaunce I wyll, and I can,Saue a stronge thefe and hange a trew man.But some man wolde conuey, and can not skyll,As malypert tauernars that checke with theyr betters,Theyr conueyaunce weltyth the worke all by wyll;And some wyll take vpon them to conterfet letters,1380And therwithall conuey hymselfe into a payre of fetters;And some wyll conuey by the pretence of sadnesse,Tyll all theyr conueyaunce is turnyd into madnesse.Crafty conueyaunce is no chyldys game:By crafty conueyaunce many one is brought vp of nought;Crafty Conueyaunce can cloke hymselfe frome shame,For by crafty conueyaunce wonderful thynges are wrought:By conuayaunce crafty I haue broughtVnto Magnyfyce[nce] a full vngracyous sorte,For all hokes vnhappy to me haue resorte.1390Here cometh inMagnyfycencewithLyberteandFelycyte.Magn.Trust me, Lyberte, it greueth me ryght soreTo se you thus ruled and stande in suche awe.Lyb.Syr, as by my wyll, it shall be so no more.Fel.Yet lyberte without rule is not worth a strawe.Magn.Tushe, holde your peas, ye speke lyke a dawe;Ye shall be occupyed, Welthe, at my wyll.Cr. Con.All that ye say, syr, is reason and skyll.Magn.Mayster Suruayour, where haue ye ben so longe?Remembre ye not how my lyberte by mesure ruled was?Cr. Con.In good faythe, syr, me semeth he had the more wronge.1400Lyb.Mary, syr, so dyd he excede and passe,They droue me to lernynge lyke a dull asse.Fel.It is good yet that lyberte be ruled by reason.Magn.Tushe, holde your peas, ye speke out of season:Yourselfe shall be ruled by lyberte and largesse.Fel.I am content, so it in measure be.Lyb.Must mesure, in the mares name, you furnysshe and dresse?Magn.Nay, nay, not so, my frende Felycyte.Cr. Con.Not, and your grace wolde be ruled by me.Lyb.Nay, he shall be ruled euen as I lyst.1410Fel.Yet it is good to beware of Had I wyst.Magn.Syr, by lyberte and largesse I wyll that ye shallBe gouerned and gyded: wote ye what I say?Mayster Suruayour, Largesse to me call.Cr. Con.It shall be done.Magn.Ye, but byd hym come awayAt ones, and let hym not tary all day.Here goth outCrafty Conuayaunce.Fel.Yet it is good wysdome to worke wysely by welth.Lyb.Holde thy tonge, and thou loue thy helth.Magn.What, wyll ye waste wynde, and prate thus in vayne?1420Ye haue eten sauce, I trowe, at the Taylers Hall.Lyb.Be not to bolde, my frende; I counsell you, bere a brayne.Magn.And what so we say, holde you content withall.Fel.Syr, yet without sapyence your substaunce may be smal;For, where is no mesure, howe may worshyp endure?Here cometh inFansy.Fan.Syr, I am here at your pleasure;Your grace sent for me, I wene; what is your wyll?Magn.Come hyther, Largesse, take here Felycyte.Fan.Why, wene you that I can kepe hym longe styll?Magn.To rule as ye lyst, lo, here is Lyberte!1430Lyb.I am here redy.Fan.What, shall we haue welth at our gydynge to rule as we lyst?Then fare well thryfte, by hym that crosse kyst!Fel.I truste your grace wyll be agreabyllThat I shall suffer none impechmentBy theyr demenaunce nor losse repryuable.Magn.Syr, ye shall folowe myne appetyte and intent.Fel.So it be by mesure I am ryght well content.Fan.What, all by mesure, good syr, and none excesse?Lyb.Why, welth hath made many a man braynlesse.1440Fel.That was by the menys of to moche lyberte.Magn.What can ye agree thus and appose?Fel.Syr, as I say, there was no faute in me.Lyb.Ye, of Jackeathrommys bybyll can ye make a glose?Fan.Sore sayde, I tell you, and well to the purpose:What sholde a man do with you, loke you vnder kay.[830]Fel.I say, it is foly to gyue all welth away.Lyb.Whether sholde welth be rulyd by lyberte,Or lyberte by welth? let se, tell me that.Fel.Syr, as me semeth, ye sholde be rulyd by me.1450Magn.What nede you with hym thus prate and chat?Fan.Shewe vs your mynde then, howe to do and what.Magn.I say, that I wyll ye haue hym in gydynge.Lyb.Mayster Felycyte, let be your chydynge,And so as ye se it wyll be no better,Take it in worthe suche as ye fynde.Fan.What the deuyll, man, your name shalbe the greter,For welth without largesse is all out of kynde.Lyb.And welth is nought worthe, yf lyberte be behynde.Magn.Nowe holde ye content, for there is none other shyfte.1460Fel.Than waste must be welcome, and fare well thryfte!Magn.Take of his substaunce a sure inuentory,And get thou[831]home togyther; for Lyberte shall byde,And wayte vpon me.Lyb.And yet for a memory,Make indentures howe ye and I shal gyde.Fan.I can do nothynge but he stonde besyde.Lyb.Syr, we can do nothynge the one without the other.Magn.Well, get you hens than, and sende me some other.Fan.Whom? lusty Pleasure, or mery Consayte?1470Magn.Nay, fyrst lusty Pleasure is my desyre to haue,And let the other another[832]awayte,Howe be it that fonde felowe is a mery knaue;But loke that ye occupye the auctoryte that I you gaue.[Here goeth outFelycyte,Lyberte, andFansy.Magnyfycencealone in the place.For nowe,[833]syrs, I am lyke as a prynce sholde be;I haue welth at wyll, largesse and lyberte:Fortune to her lawys can not abandune me,But I shall of Fortune rule the reyne;I fere nothynge Fortunes perplexyte;All honour to me must nedys stowpe and lene;1480I synge of two partys without a mene;I haue wynde and wether ouer all to sayle,No stormy rage agaynst me can peruayle.Alexander, of Macedony kynge,That all the oryent had in subieccyon,Though al his conquestys were brought to rekenynge,Myght seme ryght wel vnder my proteccyonTo rayne, for all his marcyall affeccyon;For I am prynce perlesse prouyd of porte,Bathyd with blysse, embracyd with comforte.1490Syrus, that soleme syar of Babylon,That Israell releysyd of theyr captyuyte,For al his pompe, for all his ryall trone,He may not be comparyd vnto me.I am the dyamounde dowtlesse of dygnyte:Surely it is I that all may saue and spyll;No man so hardy to worke agaynst my wyll.Porcenya, the prowde prouoste of Turky lande,That ratyd the Romaynes and made them yll rest,Nor Cesar July, that no man myght withstande,1500Were neuer halfe so rychely as I am drest:No, that I assure you; loke who was the best.I reyne in my robys, I rule as me lyst,I dryue downe th[e]se dastardys with a dynt of my fyste.Of Cato the counte acountyd the cane,Daryus, the doughty cheftayn of Perse,I set not by the prowdest of them a prane,Ne by non other that any man can rehersse.I folowe in felycyte without reue[r]sse,I drede no daunger, I dawnce all in delyte;1510My name is Magnyfycence, man most of myght.Hercules the herdy, with his stobburne clobbyd mase,That made Cerberus to cache, the cur dogge of hell,And Thesius, that[834]prowde was Pluto to face,It wolde not become them with me for to mell:For of all barones bolde I bere the bell,Of all doughty I am doughtyest duke, as I deme;To me all prynces to lowte man be sene.[835]Cherlemayne, that mantenyd the nobles of Fraunce,Arthur of Albyan, for all his brymme berde,1520Nor Basyan the bolde, for all his brybaunce,Nor Alerycus, that rulyd the Gothyaunce by swerd,Nor no man on molde can make me aferd.What man is so maysyd with me that dare mete,I shall flappe hym as a fole to fall at my fete.Galba, whom his galantys garde for agaspe,Nor Nero, that nother set by God nor man,Nor Vaspasyan, that bare in his nose a waspe,Nor Hanyball agayne Rome gates that ranne,Nor yet Cypyo,[836]that noble Cartage wanne,1530Nor none so hardy of them with me that durste crake,But I shall frounce them on the foretop, and gar them to quake.Here cometh inCourtly Abusyon, doynge reuerence and courtesy.Court. Ab.At your commaundement, syr, wyth all dew reuerence.Magn.Welcom, Pleasure, to our magnyfycence.Court. Ab.Plesyth it your grace to shewe what I do shall?Magn.Let vs here of your pleasure to passe the tyme withall.Court. Ab.Syr, then with the fauour of your benynge sufferaunceTo shewe you my mynde myselfe I wyll auaunce,If it lyke your grace to take it in degre.Magn.Yes, syr, so good man in you I se,1540And in your delynge so good assuraunce,That we delyte gretly in your dalyaunce.Court. Ab.A, syr, your grace me dothe extole and rayse,And ferre beyond my merytys ye me commende and prayse;Howe be it, I wolde be ryght gladde, I you assure,Any thynge to do that myght be to your pleasure.Magn.As I be saued, with pleasure I am supprysydOf your langage, it is so well deuysed;Pullyshyd and fresshe is your ornacy.Court. Ab.A, I wolde to God that I were halfe so crafty,1550Or in electe vtteraunce halfe so eloquent,As that I myght your noble grace content!Magn.Truste me, with you I am hyghly pleasyd,For in my fauour I haue you feffyd and seasyd.He is not lyuynge your maners can amend;Mary, your speche is as pleasant as though it were pend;To here your comon, it is my hygh comforte;Poynt deuyse all pleasure is your porte.Court. Ab.Syr, I am the better of your noble reporte;But, of your pacyence vnder the supporte,1560If it wolde lyke you to here my pore mynde—Magn.Speke, I beseche thé, leue nothynge behynde.Court. Ab.So as ye be a prynce of great myght,It is semynge your pleasure ye delyte,And to aqueynte you with carnall delectacyon,And to fall in aquayntaunce with euery newe facyon;And quyckely your appetytes to sharpe and adresse,To fasten your fansy vpon a fayre maystresse,That quyckly is enuyued with rudyes of the rose,Inpurtured with fetures after your purpose,1570The streynes of her vaynes as asure inde blewe,Enbudded with beautye and colour fresshe of hewe,As lyly whyte to loke vpon her leyre,[837]Her eyen relucent as carbuncle so clere,Her mouthe enbawmed, dylectable and mery,Her lusty lyppes ruddy as the chery:Howe lyke you? ye lacke, syr, suche a lusty lasse.Magn.A, that were a baby to brace and to basse!I wolde I had, by hym that hell dyd harowe,With me in kepynge suche a Phylyp sparowe!1580I wolde hauke whylest my hede dyd warke,So I myght hobby for suche a lusty larke.These wordes in myne eyre they be so lustely spoken,That on suche a female my flesshe wolde be wroken;They towche me so thorowly, and tykyll my consayte,That weryed I wolde be on suche a bayte:A, Cockes armes, where myght suche one be founde?Court. Ab.Wyll ye spende ony money?Magn.Ye, a thousande pounde.Court. Ab.Nay, nay, for lesse I waraunt you to be sped,1590And brought home, and layde in your bed.Magn.Wolde money, trowest thou, make suche one to the call?Court. Ab.Money maketh marchauntes, I tell you, over all.Magn.Why, wyl a maystres be wonne for money and for golde?Court. Ab.Why, was not for money Troy bothe bought and solde?Full many a stronge cyte and towne hath ben wonneBy the meanes of money without ony gonne.A maystres, I tell you, is but a small thynge;A goodly rybon, or a golde rynge,May wynne with a sawte the fortresse of the holde;1600But one thynge I warne you, prece forth and be bolde.Magn.Ye, but some be full koy and passynge harde harted.Court. Ab.But, blessyd be our Lorde, they wyll be sone conuerted.Magn.Why, wyll they then be intreted, the most and the lest?Court. Ab.Ye, foromnis mulier meretrix, si celari potest.Magn.A, I haue spyed ye can moche broken sorowe.Court. Ab.I coude holde you with suche talke hens tyll to morowe;But yf it lyke your grace, more at largeMe to permyt my mynde to dyscharge,I wolde yet shewe you further of my consayte.1610Magn.Let se what ye say, shewe it strayte.Court. Ab.Wysely let these wordes in your mynde be wayed:By waywarde wylfulnes let eche thynge be conuayed;What so euer ye do, folowe your owne wyll;Be it reason or none, it shall not gretely skyll;Be it ryght or wronge, by the aduyse of me,Take your pleasure and vse free lyberte;And yf you se ony thynge agaynst your mynde,Then some occacyon of[838]quarell ye must fynde,And frowne it and face it, as thoughe ye wolde fyght,1620Frete yourselfe for anger and for dyspyte;Here no man, what so euer they say,But do as ye lyst, and take your owne way.Magn.Thy wordes and my mynde odly well accorde.Court. Ab.What sholde ye do elles? are not you a lorde?Let your lust and lykynge stande for a lawe;Be wrastynge and wrythynge, and away drawe.And ye se a man that with hym ye be not pleased,And that your mynde can not well be eased,As yf a man fortune to touche you on the quyke,1630Then feyne yourselfe dyseased and make yourselfe seke:To styre vp your stomake you must you forge,Call for a candell[839]and cast vp your gorge;With, Cockes armes, rest shall I none haueTyll I be reuenged on that horson knaue!A, howe my stomake wambleth! I am all in a swete!Is there no horson that knaue that wyll bete?Magn.By Cockes woundes, a wonder felowe thou arte;For ofte tymes suche a wamblynge goth ouer my harte;Yet I am not harte seke, but that me lyst1640For myrth I haue hym coryed, beten, and blyst,Hym that I loued not and made hym to loute,I am forthwith as hole as a troute;For suche abusyon I vse nowe and than.Court. Ab.It is none abusyon, syr, in a noble man,It is a pryncely pleasure and a lordly mynde;Suche lustes at large may not be lefte behynde.Here cometh inCloked ColusyonwithMesure.Cl. Col.Stande styll here, and ye shall seThat for your sake I wyll fall on my kne.

Cr. Con.Hast thou ony more? let se, procede.

Fol.Ye, by God, syr, for a nede,

I haue another maner of sorte,

That I laugh at for my dysporte;

And those be they that come vp of nought,

As some be not ferre, and yf it were well sought:

Suche dawys, what soeuer they be,

That be set in auctorite,

Anone he waxyth so hy and prowde,1260

He frownyth fyersly, brymly browde,

The knaue wolde make it koy, and he cowde;

All that he dothe, muste be alowde;

And, This is not well done, syr, take hede;

And maketh hym besy where is no nede:

He dawnsys so longe, hey, troly loly,

That euery man lawghyth at his foly.

Cr. Con.By the good Lorde, truthe he sayth.

Fan.Thynkyst thou not so, by thy fayth?

Cr. Con.Thynke I not so, quod he! ellys haue I shame,1270

For I knowe dyuerse that vseth the same.

Fol.But nowe, forsothe, man, it maketh no mater;

For they that wyll so bysely smater,

So helpe me God, man, euer at the length

I make hym[823]lese moche of theyr strength;

For with foly so do I them lede,

That wyt he wantyth when he hath moste nede.

Fan.Forsothe, tell on: hast thou any mo?[824]

Fol.Yes, I shall tell you, or I go,

Of dyuerse mo that hauntyth my scolys.1280

Cr. Con.All men beware of suche folys!

Fol.There be two lyther, rude and ranke,

Symkyn Tytyuell and Pers Pykthanke;

Theys lythers I lerne them for to lere

What he sayth and she sayth to lay good ere,

And tell to his sufferayne euery whyt,

And then he is moche made of for his wyt;[825]

And, be the mater yll more or lesse,

He wyll make it mykyll worse than it is:

But all that he dothe, and yf he reken well,1290

It is but foly euery dell.

Fan.Are not his wordys cursydly cowchyd?

Cr. Con.By God, there be some that be shroudly towchyd:

But, I say, let se and yf thou haue any more.

Fol.I haue an hole armory of suche haburdashe in store;

For there be other that foly dothe vse,

That folowe fonde fantasyes and vertu refuse.

Fan.Nay, that is my parte that thou spekest of nowe.

Fol.So is all the remenaunt, I make God auowe;

For thou fourmest suche fantasyes in theyr mynde,1300

That euery man almost groweth out of kynde.

Cr. Con.By the masse, I am glad that I came hyder,

To here you two rutters dyspute togyder.

Fan.Nay, but Fansy must be eyther fyrst or last.

Fol.But whan Foly cometh, all is past.

Fan.I wote not whether it cometh of thé or of me,

But all is foly that I can se.

Cr. Con.Mary, syr, ye may swere it on a boke.

Fol.Ye, tourne ouer the lefe, rede there and loke,

Howe frantyke Fansy fyrst of all1310

Maketh man and woman in foly to fall.

Cr. Con.A, syr, a, a! howe by that!

Fan.A peryllous thynge, to cast a cat

Vpon a naked man, and yf she scrat.

Fol.So how, I say, the hare is squat!

For, frantyke Fansy, thou makest men madde;

And I, Foly, bryngeth them toqui fuitgadde,

Withqui fuitbrayne seke I haue them brought

Fromqui fuit aliquidto shyre shakynge nought.

Cr. Con.Well argued and surely on bothe sydes:1320

But for thé, Fansy, Magnyfycence abydes.

Fan.Why, shall I not haue Foly with me also?

Cr. Con.Yes, perde, man, whether that ye ryde or go:

Yet for his name we must fynde a slyght.[826]

Fan.By the masse, he shall hyght Consayte.

Cr. Con.Not a better name vnder the sonne:

With Magnyfycence thou shalte wonne.

Fol.God haue mercy, good godfather.

Cr. Con.Yet I wolde that ye had gone rather;

For, as sone as you come in Magnyfycence syght,1330

All mesure and good rule is gone quyte.

Fan.And shall we haue lyberte to do what we wyll?

Cr. Con.Ryot at lyberte russheth it out styll.

Fol.Ye, but tell me one thynge.

Cr. Con.What is that?

Fol.Who is mayster of the masshe fat?

Fan.Ye, for he hathe a full dry soule.

Cr. Con.Cockes armes, thou shalte kepe the brewhouse boule.

Fol.But may I drynke therof whylest that I stare?

Cr. Con.When mesure is gone, what nedest thou spare?1340

Whan mesure is gone, we may slee care.

Fol.Nowe then goo we hens, away the mare![827]

Crafty Conueyauncealone in the place.

Cr. Con.It is wonder to se the worlde aboute,

To se what foly is vsed in euery place;

Foly hath a rome, I say, in euery route,

To put, where he lyst, Foly hath fre chace;

Foly and Fansy all where, euery man dothe face and brace;

Foly fotyth it properly, Fansy ledyth the dawnce;

And next come I after, Crafty Conueyaunce.

Who so to me gyueth good aduertence,1350

Shall se many thyngys donne craftely:

By me conueyed is wanton insolence,

Pryuy poyntmentys conueyed so properly,

For many tymes moche kyndnesse is denyed

For drede that we dare not ofte lest we be spyed;

By me is conueyed mykyll praty ware,

Somtyme, I say, behynde the dore for nede;

I haue an hoby can make larkys to dare;

I knyt togyther many a broken threde.

It is great almesse the hungre[828]to fede,1360

To clothe the nakyd where is lackynge a smocke,

Trymme at her tayle, or a man can turne a socke:

What howe, be ye mery! was it not well conueyed?

As oft as ye lyst, so honeste be sauyd;

Alas, dere harte, loke that we be not perseyuyd!

Without crafte nothynge is well behauyd;

Though I shewe you curtesy, say not that I craue,[829]

Yet conuey it craftely, and hardely spare not for me,

So that there knowe no man but I and she.

Thefte also and pety brybery1370

Without me be full oft aspyed;

My inwyt delynge there can no man dyscry,

Conuey it be crafte, lyft and lay asyde:

Full moche flatery and falsehode I hyde,

And by crafty conueyaunce I wyll, and I can,

Saue a stronge thefe and hange a trew man.

But some man wolde conuey, and can not skyll,

As malypert tauernars that checke with theyr betters,

Theyr conueyaunce weltyth the worke all by wyll;

And some wyll take vpon them to conterfet letters,1380

And therwithall conuey hymselfe into a payre of fetters;

And some wyll conuey by the pretence of sadnesse,

Tyll all theyr conueyaunce is turnyd into madnesse.

Crafty conueyaunce is no chyldys game:

By crafty conueyaunce many one is brought vp of nought;

Crafty Conueyaunce can cloke hymselfe frome shame,

For by crafty conueyaunce wonderful thynges are wrought:

By conuayaunce crafty I haue brought

Vnto Magnyfyce[nce] a full vngracyous sorte,

For all hokes vnhappy to me haue resorte.1390

Here cometh inMagnyfycencewithLyberteandFelycyte.

Magn.Trust me, Lyberte, it greueth me ryght sore

To se you thus ruled and stande in suche awe.

Lyb.Syr, as by my wyll, it shall be so no more.

Fel.Yet lyberte without rule is not worth a strawe.

Magn.Tushe, holde your peas, ye speke lyke a dawe;

Ye shall be occupyed, Welthe, at my wyll.

Cr. Con.All that ye say, syr, is reason and skyll.

Magn.Mayster Suruayour, where haue ye ben so longe?

Remembre ye not how my lyberte by mesure ruled was?

Cr. Con.In good faythe, syr, me semeth he had the more wronge.1400

Lyb.Mary, syr, so dyd he excede and passe,

They droue me to lernynge lyke a dull asse.

Fel.It is good yet that lyberte be ruled by reason.

Magn.Tushe, holde your peas, ye speke out of season:

Yourselfe shall be ruled by lyberte and largesse.

Fel.I am content, so it in measure be.

Lyb.Must mesure, in the mares name, you furnysshe and dresse?

Magn.Nay, nay, not so, my frende Felycyte.

Cr. Con.Not, and your grace wolde be ruled by me.

Lyb.Nay, he shall be ruled euen as I lyst.1410

Fel.Yet it is good to beware of Had I wyst.

Magn.Syr, by lyberte and largesse I wyll that ye shall

Be gouerned and gyded: wote ye what I say?

Mayster Suruayour, Largesse to me call.

Cr. Con.It shall be done.

Magn.Ye, but byd hym come away

At ones, and let hym not tary all day.

Here goth outCrafty Conuayaunce.

Fel.Yet it is good wysdome to worke wysely by welth.

Lyb.Holde thy tonge, and thou loue thy helth.

Magn.What, wyll ye waste wynde, and prate thus in vayne?1420

Ye haue eten sauce, I trowe, at the Taylers Hall.

Lyb.Be not to bolde, my frende; I counsell you, bere a brayne.

Magn.And what so we say, holde you content withall.

Fel.Syr, yet without sapyence your substaunce may be smal;

For, where is no mesure, howe may worshyp endure?

Here cometh inFansy.

Fan.Syr, I am here at your pleasure;

Your grace sent for me, I wene; what is your wyll?

Magn.Come hyther, Largesse, take here Felycyte.

Fan.Why, wene you that I can kepe hym longe styll?

Magn.To rule as ye lyst, lo, here is Lyberte!1430

Lyb.I am here redy.

Fan.What, shall we haue welth at our gydynge to rule as we lyst?

Then fare well thryfte, by hym that crosse kyst!

Fel.I truste your grace wyll be agreabyll

That I shall suffer none impechment

By theyr demenaunce nor losse repryuable.

Magn.Syr, ye shall folowe myne appetyte and intent.

Fel.So it be by mesure I am ryght well content.

Fan.What, all by mesure, good syr, and none excesse?

Lyb.Why, welth hath made many a man braynlesse.1440

Fel.That was by the menys of to moche lyberte.

Magn.What can ye agree thus and appose?

Fel.Syr, as I say, there was no faute in me.

Lyb.Ye, of Jackeathrommys bybyll can ye make a glose?

Fan.Sore sayde, I tell you, and well to the purpose:

What sholde a man do with you, loke you vnder kay.[830]

Fel.I say, it is foly to gyue all welth away.

Lyb.Whether sholde welth be rulyd by lyberte,

Or lyberte by welth? let se, tell me that.

Fel.Syr, as me semeth, ye sholde be rulyd by me.1450

Magn.What nede you with hym thus prate and chat?

Fan.Shewe vs your mynde then, howe to do and what.

Magn.I say, that I wyll ye haue hym in gydynge.

Lyb.Mayster Felycyte, let be your chydynge,

And so as ye se it wyll be no better,

Take it in worthe suche as ye fynde.

Fan.What the deuyll, man, your name shalbe the greter,

For welth without largesse is all out of kynde.

Lyb.And welth is nought worthe, yf lyberte be behynde.

Magn.Nowe holde ye content, for there is none other shyfte.1460

Fel.Than waste must be welcome, and fare well thryfte!

Magn.Take of his substaunce a sure inuentory,

And get thou[831]home togyther; for Lyberte shall byde,

And wayte vpon me.

Lyb.And yet for a memory,

Make indentures howe ye and I shal gyde.

Fan.I can do nothynge but he stonde besyde.

Lyb.Syr, we can do nothynge the one without the other.

Magn.Well, get you hens than, and sende me some other.

Fan.Whom? lusty Pleasure, or mery Consayte?1470

Magn.Nay, fyrst lusty Pleasure is my desyre to haue,

And let the other another[832]awayte,

Howe be it that fonde felowe is a mery knaue;

But loke that ye occupye the auctoryte that I you gaue.

[Here goeth outFelycyte,Lyberte, andFansy.Magnyfycencealone in the place.

[Here goeth outFelycyte,Lyberte, andFansy.

Magnyfycencealone in the place.

For nowe,[833]syrs, I am lyke as a prynce sholde be;

I haue welth at wyll, largesse and lyberte:

Fortune to her lawys can not abandune me,

But I shall of Fortune rule the reyne;

I fere nothynge Fortunes perplexyte;

All honour to me must nedys stowpe and lene;1480

I synge of two partys without a mene;

I haue wynde and wether ouer all to sayle,

No stormy rage agaynst me can peruayle.

Alexander, of Macedony kynge,

That all the oryent had in subieccyon,

Though al his conquestys were brought to rekenynge,

Myght seme ryght wel vnder my proteccyon

To rayne, for all his marcyall affeccyon;

For I am prynce perlesse prouyd of porte,

Bathyd with blysse, embracyd with comforte.1490

Syrus, that soleme syar of Babylon,

That Israell releysyd of theyr captyuyte,

For al his pompe, for all his ryall trone,

He may not be comparyd vnto me.

I am the dyamounde dowtlesse of dygnyte:

Surely it is I that all may saue and spyll;

No man so hardy to worke agaynst my wyll.

Porcenya, the prowde prouoste of Turky lande,

That ratyd the Romaynes and made them yll rest,

Nor Cesar July, that no man myght withstande,1500

Were neuer halfe so rychely as I am drest:

No, that I assure you; loke who was the best.

I reyne in my robys, I rule as me lyst,

I dryue downe th[e]se dastardys with a dynt of my fyste.

Of Cato the counte acountyd the cane,

Daryus, the doughty cheftayn of Perse,

I set not by the prowdest of them a prane,

Ne by non other that any man can rehersse.

I folowe in felycyte without reue[r]sse,

I drede no daunger, I dawnce all in delyte;1510

My name is Magnyfycence, man most of myght.

Hercules the herdy, with his stobburne clobbyd mase,

That made Cerberus to cache, the cur dogge of hell,

And Thesius, that[834]prowde was Pluto to face,

It wolde not become them with me for to mell:

For of all barones bolde I bere the bell,

Of all doughty I am doughtyest duke, as I deme;

To me all prynces to lowte man be sene.[835]

Cherlemayne, that mantenyd the nobles of Fraunce,

Arthur of Albyan, for all his brymme berde,1520

Nor Basyan the bolde, for all his brybaunce,

Nor Alerycus, that rulyd the Gothyaunce by swerd,

Nor no man on molde can make me aferd.

What man is so maysyd with me that dare mete,

I shall flappe hym as a fole to fall at my fete.

Galba, whom his galantys garde for agaspe,

Nor Nero, that nother set by God nor man,

Nor Vaspasyan, that bare in his nose a waspe,

Nor Hanyball agayne Rome gates that ranne,

Nor yet Cypyo,[836]that noble Cartage wanne,1530

Nor none so hardy of them with me that durste crake,

But I shall frounce them on the foretop, and gar them to quake.

Here cometh inCourtly Abusyon, doynge reuerence and courtesy.

Court. Ab.At your commaundement, syr, wyth all dew reuerence.

Magn.Welcom, Pleasure, to our magnyfycence.

Court. Ab.Plesyth it your grace to shewe what I do shall?

Magn.Let vs here of your pleasure to passe the tyme withall.

Court. Ab.Syr, then with the fauour of your benynge sufferaunce

To shewe you my mynde myselfe I wyll auaunce,

If it lyke your grace to take it in degre.

Magn.Yes, syr, so good man in you I se,1540

And in your delynge so good assuraunce,

That we delyte gretly in your dalyaunce.

Court. Ab.A, syr, your grace me dothe extole and rayse,

And ferre beyond my merytys ye me commende and prayse;

Howe be it, I wolde be ryght gladde, I you assure,

Any thynge to do that myght be to your pleasure.

Magn.As I be saued, with pleasure I am supprysyd

Of your langage, it is so well deuysed;

Pullyshyd and fresshe is your ornacy.

Court. Ab.A, I wolde to God that I were halfe so crafty,1550

Or in electe vtteraunce halfe so eloquent,

As that I myght your noble grace content!

Magn.Truste me, with you I am hyghly pleasyd,

For in my fauour I haue you feffyd and seasyd.

He is not lyuynge your maners can amend;

Mary, your speche is as pleasant as though it were pend;

To here your comon, it is my hygh comforte;

Poynt deuyse all pleasure is your porte.

Court. Ab.Syr, I am the better of your noble reporte;

But, of your pacyence vnder the supporte,1560

If it wolde lyke you to here my pore mynde—

Magn.Speke, I beseche thé, leue nothynge behynde.

Court. Ab.So as ye be a prynce of great myght,

It is semynge your pleasure ye delyte,

And to aqueynte you with carnall delectacyon,

And to fall in aquayntaunce with euery newe facyon;

And quyckely your appetytes to sharpe and adresse,

To fasten your fansy vpon a fayre maystresse,

That quyckly is enuyued with rudyes of the rose,

Inpurtured with fetures after your purpose,1570

The streynes of her vaynes as asure inde blewe,

Enbudded with beautye and colour fresshe of hewe,

As lyly whyte to loke vpon her leyre,[837]

Her eyen relucent as carbuncle so clere,

Her mouthe enbawmed, dylectable and mery,

Her lusty lyppes ruddy as the chery:

Howe lyke you? ye lacke, syr, suche a lusty lasse.

Magn.A, that were a baby to brace and to basse!

I wolde I had, by hym that hell dyd harowe,

With me in kepynge suche a Phylyp sparowe!1580

I wolde hauke whylest my hede dyd warke,

So I myght hobby for suche a lusty larke.

These wordes in myne eyre they be so lustely spoken,

That on suche a female my flesshe wolde be wroken;

They towche me so thorowly, and tykyll my consayte,

That weryed I wolde be on suche a bayte:

A, Cockes armes, where myght suche one be founde?

Court. Ab.Wyll ye spende ony money?

Magn.Ye, a thousande pounde.

Court. Ab.Nay, nay, for lesse I waraunt you to be sped,1590

And brought home, and layde in your bed.

Magn.Wolde money, trowest thou, make suche one to the call?

Court. Ab.Money maketh marchauntes, I tell you, over all.

Magn.Why, wyl a maystres be wonne for money and for golde?

Court. Ab.Why, was not for money Troy bothe bought and solde?

Full many a stronge cyte and towne hath ben wonne

By the meanes of money without ony gonne.

A maystres, I tell you, is but a small thynge;

A goodly rybon, or a golde rynge,

May wynne with a sawte the fortresse of the holde;1600

But one thynge I warne you, prece forth and be bolde.

Magn.Ye, but some be full koy and passynge harde harted.

Court. Ab.But, blessyd be our Lorde, they wyll be sone conuerted.

Magn.Why, wyll they then be intreted, the most and the lest?

Court. Ab.Ye, foromnis mulier meretrix, si celari potest.

Magn.A, I haue spyed ye can moche broken sorowe.

Court. Ab.I coude holde you with suche talke hens tyll to morowe;

But yf it lyke your grace, more at large

Me to permyt my mynde to dyscharge,

I wolde yet shewe you further of my consayte.1610

Magn.Let se what ye say, shewe it strayte.

Court. Ab.Wysely let these wordes in your mynde be wayed:

By waywarde wylfulnes let eche thynge be conuayed;

What so euer ye do, folowe your owne wyll;

Be it reason or none, it shall not gretely skyll;

Be it ryght or wronge, by the aduyse of me,

Take your pleasure and vse free lyberte;

And yf you se ony thynge agaynst your mynde,

Then some occacyon of[838]quarell ye must fynde,

And frowne it and face it, as thoughe ye wolde fyght,1620

Frete yourselfe for anger and for dyspyte;

Here no man, what so euer they say,

But do as ye lyst, and take your owne way.

Magn.Thy wordes and my mynde odly well accorde.

Court. Ab.What sholde ye do elles? are not you a lorde?

Let your lust and lykynge stande for a lawe;

Be wrastynge and wrythynge, and away drawe.

And ye se a man that with hym ye be not pleased,

And that your mynde can not well be eased,

As yf a man fortune to touche you on the quyke,1630

Then feyne yourselfe dyseased and make yourselfe seke:

To styre vp your stomake you must you forge,

Call for a candell[839]and cast vp your gorge;

With, Cockes armes, rest shall I none haue

Tyll I be reuenged on that horson knaue!

A, howe my stomake wambleth! I am all in a swete!

Is there no horson that knaue that wyll bete?

Magn.By Cockes woundes, a wonder felowe thou arte;

For ofte tymes suche a wamblynge goth ouer my harte;

Yet I am not harte seke, but that me lyst1640

For myrth I haue hym coryed, beten, and blyst,

Hym that I loued not and made hym to loute,

I am forthwith as hole as a troute;

For suche abusyon I vse nowe and than.

Court. Ab.It is none abusyon, syr, in a noble man,

It is a pryncely pleasure and a lordly mynde;

Suche lustes at large may not be lefte behynde.

Here cometh inCloked ColusyonwithMesure.

Cl. Col.Stande styll here, and ye shall se

That for your sake I wyll fall on my kne.

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