Chapter 28

What can it auayleTo dryue forth a snayle,Or to make a sayleOf an herynges tayle;To ryme or to rayle,To wryte or to indyte,Eyther for delyte[877]Or elles for[878]despyte;[879]Or bokes to compyleOf dyuers maner[880]style,10Vyce to reuyleAnd synne to[881]exyle;To teche or to preche,As reason wyll reche?[882]Say this, and[883]say that,His hed is so fat,He wotteth[884]neuer whatNor wherof he speketh;He cryeth and[885]he creketh,He pryeth and[886]he peketh,20He chydes[887]and he chatters,He prates and he patters,He clytters and he clatters,He medles and he smatters,He gloses and he flatters;Or[888]yf he speake playne,Than he lacketh brayne,He is but a fole;Let hym go to scole,On[889]a thre foted stole30That he may downe syt,For he lacketh wyt;And yf that he hytThe nayle on the hede,It standeth in no stede;The deuyll, they say, is dede,The deuell is dede.[890]It may well so[891]be,Or els they wolde seOtherwyse, and fle40From worldly[892]vanyte,And foule couetousnesse,And other wretchednesse,Fyckell[893]falsenesse,Varyablenesse,With vnstablenesse.And if ye[894]stande in douteWho brought this ryme aboute,My name is Colyn Cloute.I[895]purpose to shake oute50All my connyng bagge,Lyke a clerkely hagge;For though my ryme be ragged,Tattered and iagged,Rudely rayne beaten,Rusty and moughte[896]eaten,If ye[897]take well therwith,It hath in it some pyth.For, as farre as I can se,It is wronge with eche degre:60For the temporalteAccuseth the spiritualte;The spirituall[898]agayneDothe grudge and complayneVpon the[899]temporall men:Thus eche of other blother[900]The tone agayng[901]the tother:Alas, they make me shoder!For in hoder moderThe Churche is put in faute;70The prelates ben[902]so haut,They say, and loke so hy,As though they wolde flyAboue the sterry skye.Laye men say indedeHow they take no[903]hedeTheyr sely shepe to fede,But plucke away and pullThe fleces of theyr[904]wull,Vnethes[905]they leue a locke80Of wull amonges[906]theyr[907]flocke;And as for theyr connynge,A glommynge and a mummynge,And make therof a iape;They gaspe and they gapeAll to haue promocyon,There is theyr hole[908]deuocyon,With money, if it wyll hap,To catche the[909]forked cap:Forsothe they are to[910]lewd90To say so, all beshrewd!What trow ye they say moreOf the bysshoppes lore?How in matters they be rawe,They lumber forth[911]the lawe,To herken[912]Jacke and Gyll,Whan they put vp a byll,And iudge it[913]as they wyll,For other mennes skyll,Expoundyng out theyr clauses,100And leue theyr owne causes:In theyr prouynciall[914]cureThey make but lytell sure,And meddels[915]very lyghtIn the Churches[916]ryght;Butireandvenire,And solfa[917]so alamyre,That the premenyreIs lyke to be set[918]a fyreIn theyr iurisdictions[919]110Through temporall afflictions:[920]Men say they haue prescriptions[921]Agaynst spirituall[922]contradictions,[923]Accomptynge them as fyctions.[924]And whyles the heedes do this,The remenaunt is amysOf the clergy all,Bothe great[925]and small.I wot neuer[926]how they warke,But thus[927]the people barke;[928]120And surely thus they say,Bysshoppes, if they may,Small houses wolde[929]kepe,But slumbre forth and slepe,And assay to crepeWithin the noble wallesOf the kynges halles,To fat theyr bodyes full,Theyr soules lene[930]and dull,And haue full lytell care[931]130How euyll[932]theyr shepe fare.The temporalyte say[933]playne,Howe bysshoppes dysdayneSermons for to make,Or suche laboure to take;And for to say trouth,A great parte is for[934]slouth,But the greattest parteIs for[935]they haue but small arteAnd ryght sklender[936]connyng140Within theyr heedes wonnyng.But this reason they takeHow they are able to makeWith theyr golde and treasureClerkes out of[937]measure,And yet that is a pleasure.Howe be it some there be,Almost two or thre,Of that dygnyte,Full worshypfull clerkes,150As[938]appereth by theyr werkes,Lyke Aaron and Ure,The wolfe from the doreTo werryn[939]and to kepeFrom theyr goostly shepe,And theyr[940]spirituall lammesSequestred from rammesAnd from the[941]berded gotesWith theyr heery cotes;Set nought by golde ne grotes,160Theyr names if I durst tell.But they are[942]loth to mell,And loth to hang the bellAboute the cattes necke,For drede to haue a checke;They ar fayne to play deuz decke,[943]They ar made[944]for the becke.How be it they are good men,Moche[945]herted lyke an hen:Theyr lessons forgotten they haue170That Becket them[946]gaue:Thomasmanum mittit ad fortia,Spernit damna, spernit opprobria,Nulla Thomam frangit injuria.But nowe euery spirituall father,Men say, they[947]had ratherSpende moche[948]of theyr shareThan to be combred with care:Spende! nay, nay,[949]but spare;For let se who that[950]dare180Sho the mockysshe mare;They make her wynche and keke,But it is not[951]worth a leke:Boldnesse is to sekeThe Churche[952]for to defend.Take me as I intende,For lothe[953]I am to offendeIn this that I haue pende:I tell you as men say;Amende whan[954]ye may,190For,usque ad montem Sare,[955]Men say ye can not appare;[956]For some say ye hunte in[957]parkes,And hauke on hobby larkes,And other wanton warkes,Whan the nyght darkes.What hath lay men to[958]doThe gray gose[959]for to sho?Lyke houndes of hell,They crye and they yell,200Howe that ye[960]sellThe grace of the Holy Gost:Thus they make theyr bostThrough owte[961]euery cost,Howe some of you do eateIn Lenton season[962]fleshe mete,Fesauntes, partryche, and cranes;Men call you therfor prophanes;Ye pycke no shrympes nor[963]pranes,Saltfysshe, stocfysshe, nor[964]heryng,210It is not for your werynge;Nor in holy Lenton[965]seasonYe[966]wyll netheyr benes ne peason,But ye loke to be let lose[967]To a pygge[968]or to a gose,Your gorge not endewedWithout a capon stewed,Or a stewed cocke,To knowe[969]whate ys a clockeVnder her surfled[970]smocke,220And her wanton wodicocke.And howe whan ye[971]gyue ordersIn your prouinciall borders,As atSitientes,[972]Some areinsufficientes,[973]Someparum sapientes,Somenihil intelligentes,Somevalde negligentes,Somenullum sensum habentes,But bestiall[974]and vntaught;[975]230But whan thei haue ones caughtDominus vobiscumby the hede,Than renne they in euery stede,God wot, with dronken nolles;Yet take they[976]cure[977]of soules,And woteth neuer[978]what thei rede,Paternoster, Ave,[979]nor Crede;Construe not worth a whystleNether Gospell nor Pystle;Theyr mattyns madly sayde,240Nothynge deuoutly prayde;Theyr lernynge is so small,[980]Theyr prymes[981]and houres fallAnd lepe[982]out of theyr lyppesLyke sawdust or drye chyppes.I speke not nowe of all,But the moost parte in[983]generall.Of suche vagabundus[984]Spekethtotus mundus;Howe some syngeLÃ¦tabundus250At euery ale stake,With, welcome hake and make!By the brede that God brake,I am sory[985]for your sake.I speke not of the[986]good[987]wyfe,But of theyr apostles[988]lyfe;Cum ipsis[989]vel illisQui manent in villisEst uxor vel ancilla,Welcome Jacke and Gylla!260My prety Petronylla,And you wyll[990]be stylla,You shall haue your wylla.Of suche Paternoster pekesAll the worlde spekes.In you the faute is supposed,For that they are not apposedBy iust[991]examinacyonIn connyng and[992]conuÃ©rsacyon;They haue none instructyon270To make a true[993]constructyon:A preest without a[994]letter,Without his vertue be gretter,Doutlesse were[995]moche[996]betterVpon hym for to takeA mattocke or a rake.Alas, for very shame!Some can not declyne their[997]name;Some can not scarsly[998]rede,And yet he[999]wyll not drede280For to kepe a cure,And in nothyng is sure;ThisDominus vobiscum,As wyse as Tom a thrum,[1000]A chaplayne of trustLayth all in the dust.Thus I, Colyn Cloute,As I go aboute,And wandrynge as I walke,I here the people talke.290Men say, for syluer[1001]and goldeMyters are bought and solde;There[1002]shall no clergy apposeA myter nor[1003]a crose,But a full purse:A strawe for Goddes curse!What are they[1004]the worse?For a symonyakeIs[1005]but a hermoniake;[1006]And no more ye[1007]make300Of symony, men say,But a chyldes play.Ouer this,[1008]the foresayd layeReporte[1009]howe the Pope mayAn[1010]holy anker callOut of the stony[1011]wall,And hym a bysshopp make,If he on hym dare[1012]takeTo kepe so harde a rule,To ryde vpon a mule310With golde all betrapped,In purple and paule belapped;Some hatted and some capped,Rychely and warme[1013]bewrapped,[1014]

What can it auayle

To dryue forth a snayle,

Or to make a sayle

Of an herynges tayle;

To ryme or to rayle,

To wryte or to indyte,

Eyther for delyte[877]

Or elles for[878]despyte;[879]

Or bokes to compyle

Of dyuers maner[880]style,10

Vyce to reuyle

And synne to[881]exyle;

To teche or to preche,

As reason wyll reche?[882]

Say this, and[883]say that,

His hed is so fat,

He wotteth[884]neuer what

Nor wherof he speketh;

He cryeth and[885]he creketh,

He pryeth and[886]he peketh,20

He chydes[887]and he chatters,

He prates and he patters,

He clytters and he clatters,

He medles and he smatters,

He gloses and he flatters;

Or[888]yf he speake playne,

Than he lacketh brayne,

He is but a fole;

Let hym go to scole,

On[889]a thre foted stole30

That he may downe syt,

For he lacketh wyt;

And yf that he hyt

The nayle on the hede,

It standeth in no stede;

The deuyll, they say, is dede,

The deuell is dede.[890]

It may well so[891]be,

Or els they wolde se

Otherwyse, and fle40

From worldly[892]vanyte,

And foule couetousnesse,

And other wretchednesse,

Fyckell[893]falsenesse,

Varyablenesse,

With vnstablenesse.

And if ye[894]stande in doute

Who brought this ryme aboute,

My name is Colyn Cloute.

I[895]purpose to shake oute50

All my connyng bagge,

Lyke a clerkely hagge;

For though my ryme be ragged,

Tattered and iagged,

Rudely rayne beaten,

Rusty and moughte[896]eaten,

If ye[897]take well therwith,

It hath in it some pyth.

For, as farre as I can se,

It is wronge with eche degre:60

For the temporalte

Accuseth the spiritualte;

The spirituall[898]agayne

Dothe grudge and complayne

Vpon the[899]temporall men:

Thus eche of other blother[900]

The tone agayng[901]the tother:

Alas, they make me shoder!

For in hoder moder

The Churche is put in faute;70

The prelates ben[902]so haut,

They say, and loke so hy,

As though they wolde fly

Aboue the sterry skye.

Laye men say indede

How they take no[903]hede

Theyr sely shepe to fede,

But plucke away and pull

The fleces of theyr[904]wull,

Vnethes[905]they leue a locke80

Of wull amonges[906]theyr[907]flocke;

And as for theyr connynge,

A glommynge and a mummynge,

And make therof a iape;

They gaspe and they gape

All to haue promocyon,

There is theyr hole[908]deuocyon,

With money, if it wyll hap,

To catche the[909]forked cap:

Forsothe they are to[910]lewd90

To say so, all beshrewd!

What trow ye they say more

Of the bysshoppes lore?

How in matters they be rawe,

They lumber forth[911]the lawe,

To herken[912]Jacke and Gyll,

Whan they put vp a byll,

And iudge it[913]as they wyll,

For other mennes skyll,

Expoundyng out theyr clauses,100

And leue theyr owne causes:

In theyr prouynciall[914]cure

They make but lytell sure,

And meddels[915]very lyght

In the Churches[916]ryght;

Butireandvenire,

And solfa[917]so alamyre,

That the premenyre

Is lyke to be set[918]a fyre

In theyr iurisdictions[919]110

Through temporall afflictions:[920]

Men say they haue prescriptions[921]

Agaynst spirituall[922]contradictions,[923]

Accomptynge them as fyctions.[924]

And whyles the heedes do this,

The remenaunt is amys

Of the clergy all,

Bothe great[925]and small.

I wot neuer[926]how they warke,

But thus[927]the people barke;[928]120

And surely thus they say,

Bysshoppes, if they may,

Small houses wolde[929]kepe,

But slumbre forth and slepe,

And assay to crepe

Within the noble walles

Of the kynges halles,

To fat theyr bodyes full,

Theyr soules lene[930]and dull,

And haue full lytell care[931]130

How euyll[932]theyr shepe fare.

The temporalyte say[933]playne,

Howe bysshoppes dysdayne

Sermons for to make,

Or suche laboure to take;

And for to say trouth,

A great parte is for[934]slouth,

But the greattest parte

Is for[935]they haue but small arte

And ryght sklender[936]connyng140

Within theyr heedes wonnyng.

But this reason they take

How they are able to make

With theyr golde and treasure

Clerkes out of[937]measure,

And yet that is a pleasure.

Howe be it some there be,

Almost two or thre,

Of that dygnyte,

Full worshypfull clerkes,150

As[938]appereth by theyr werkes,

Lyke Aaron and Ure,

The wolfe from the dore

To werryn[939]and to kepe

From theyr goostly shepe,

And theyr[940]spirituall lammes

Sequestred from rammes

And from the[941]berded gotes

With theyr heery cotes;

Set nought by golde ne grotes,160

Theyr names if I durst tell.

But they are[942]loth to mell,

And loth to hang the bell

Aboute the cattes necke,

For drede to haue a checke;

They ar fayne to play deuz decke,[943]

They ar made[944]for the becke.

How be it they are good men,

Moche[945]herted lyke an hen:

Theyr lessons forgotten they haue170

That Becket them[946]gaue:

Thomasmanum mittit ad fortia,

Spernit damna, spernit opprobria,

Nulla Thomam frangit injuria.

But nowe euery spirituall father,

Men say, they[947]had rather

Spende moche[948]of theyr share

Than to be combred with care:

Spende! nay, nay,[949]but spare;

For let se who that[950]dare180

Sho the mockysshe mare;

They make her wynche and keke,

But it is not[951]worth a leke:

Boldnesse is to seke

The Churche[952]for to defend.

Take me as I intende,

For lothe[953]I am to offende

In this that I haue pende:

I tell you as men say;

Amende whan[954]ye may,190

For,usque ad montem Sare,[955]

Men say ye can not appare;[956]

For some say ye hunte in[957]parkes,

And hauke on hobby larkes,

And other wanton warkes,

Whan the nyght darkes.

What hath lay men to[958]do

The gray gose[959]for to sho?

Lyke houndes of hell,

They crye and they yell,200

Howe that ye[960]sell

The grace of the Holy Gost:

Thus they make theyr bost

Through owte[961]euery cost,

Howe some of you do eate

In Lenton season[962]fleshe mete,

Fesauntes, partryche, and cranes;

Men call you therfor prophanes;

Ye pycke no shrympes nor[963]pranes,

Saltfysshe, stocfysshe, nor[964]heryng,210

It is not for your werynge;

Nor in holy Lenton[965]season

Ye[966]wyll netheyr benes ne peason,

But ye loke to be let lose[967]

To a pygge[968]or to a gose,

Your gorge not endewed

Without a capon stewed,

Or a stewed cocke,

To knowe[969]whate ys a clocke

Vnder her surfled[970]smocke,220

And her wanton wodicocke.

And howe whan ye[971]gyue orders

In your prouinciall borders,

As atSitientes,[972]

Some areinsufficientes,[973]

Someparum sapientes,

Somenihil intelligentes,

Somevalde negligentes,

Somenullum sensum habentes,

But bestiall[974]and vntaught;[975]230

But whan thei haue ones caught

Dominus vobiscumby the hede,

Than renne they in euery stede,

God wot, with dronken nolles;

Yet take they[976]cure[977]of soules,

And woteth neuer[978]what thei rede,

Paternoster, Ave,[979]nor Crede;

Construe not worth a whystle

Nether Gospell nor Pystle;

Theyr mattyns madly sayde,240

Nothynge deuoutly prayde;

Theyr lernynge is so small,[980]

Theyr prymes[981]and houres fall

And lepe[982]out of theyr lyppes

Lyke sawdust or drye chyppes.

I speke not nowe of all,

But the moost parte in[983]generall.

Of suche vagabundus[984]

Spekethtotus mundus;

Howe some syngeLÃ¦tabundus250

At euery ale stake,

With, welcome hake and make!

By the brede that God brake,

I am sory[985]for your sake.

I speke not of the[986]good[987]wyfe,

But of theyr apostles[988]lyfe;

Cum ipsis[989]vel illis

Qui manent in villis

Est uxor vel ancilla,

Welcome Jacke and Gylla!260

My prety Petronylla,

And you wyll[990]be stylla,

You shall haue your wylla.

Of suche Paternoster pekes

All the worlde spekes.

In you the faute is supposed,

For that they are not apposed

By iust[991]examinacyon

They haue none instructyon270

To make a true[993]constructyon:

A preest without a[994]letter,

Without his vertue be gretter,

Doutlesse were[995]moche[996]better

Vpon hym for to take

A mattocke or a rake.

Alas, for very shame!

Some can not declyne their[997]name;

Some can not scarsly[998]rede,

And yet he[999]wyll not drede280

For to kepe a cure,

And in nothyng is sure;

ThisDominus vobiscum,

As wyse as Tom a thrum,[1000]

A chaplayne of trust

Layth all in the dust.

Thus I, Colyn Cloute,

As I go aboute,

And wandrynge as I walke,

I here the people talke.290

Men say, for syluer[1001]and golde

Myters are bought and solde;

There[1002]shall no clergy appose

A myter nor[1003]a crose,

But a full purse:

A strawe for Goddes curse!

What are they[1004]the worse?

For a symonyake

Is[1005]but a hermoniake;[1006]

And no more ye[1007]make300

Of symony, men say,

But a chyldes play.

Ouer this,[1008]the foresayd laye

Reporte[1009]howe the Pope may

An[1010]holy anker call

Out of the stony[1011]wall,

And hym a bysshopp make,

If he on hym dare[1012]take

To kepe so harde a rule,

To ryde vpon a mule310

With golde all betrapped,

In purple and paule belapped;

Some hatted and some capped,

Rychely and warme[1013]bewrapped,[1014]

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