ADDENDA I
Many women will find that with the methods prescribed here their frigidity can be conquered. Some, however, will find that though they can be helped by using these techniques they cannot achieve their goal without outside help. Throughout the book I have tried to indicate the kind of person and the kind of problem that may require additional therapeutic aid, and I have tried to indicate that a person who needs such outside help should feel no sense of shame about that fact nor hesitancy about seeking it. Indeed, one of my chief reasons for writing this book has been to open vistas hitherto unknown to many women. If reading it has but started you on the road to mature femininity, its chief function has been accomplished.
How does one decide whether outside aid is indicated?
There is no rule of thumb that will cover all cases. Some may decide that they would prefer to start and finish their work on this problem with a trained therapist. Others may start alone but find that self-exploration, the surfacing of painful emotions and attitudes and fantasies, is too difficult and confusing and decide to seek expert guidance. Stillothers may find that though they can go a long distance alone the final goal will elude them if they do not consult with a trained worker in the field.
If and when one does decide that outside help is necessary, one should know how to find qualified people in this field. The following information, then, is proffered to aid you in that respect.
Your family physician can be most helpful. If he has the time he may be able to counsel you directly, act as a guide to those insights that will help you to achieve your goal. More than likely, however, you will find that his schedule is far too heavy to permit him to do this, no matter how much he would wish to do so. In that case he will refer you to another person who is qualified to give such help or to a proper agency.
If for any reason you cannot obtain a referral from your own physician, it is important to know to whom you may turn for help in your community.
There are three kinds of specialists who are trained to give you proper counseling for your problem. These are psychiatrists, clinical psychologists, and social workers.
The hospital in your community can usually give you the name of a person in one of these specialties whom you could consult privately. Such hospitals may also have outpatient counseling clinics, and these are staffed by competent psychotherapists. If your hospital does not maintain such a service it will nevertheless know where you can obtain help.
One of the resources you have open to you may be one of the so-called “family agencies.” You can have confidence in such agencies. They are devoted to the task of resolving any and all types of family problems and are frequently staffed by social workers with excellent training in marriage counseling.
Many American communities are relatively rich incounseling resources, but there are also many where psychological help is difficult to obtain. If your doctor or your local hospital cannot help you, it may be necessary for you to journey to the nearest large city to obtain aid. If you wish to obtain the names of the qualified psychiatrists nearest your residence you may write to the American Psychiatric Association, 1270 Sixth Avenue, New York, N.Y., and they will furnish you with the required information. Be certain that in your letter you specify the urban center nearest you.