Canvasser—“I’ve got some signs that I’m selling to shopkeepers all day long. Everybody buys ’em. Here’s one—“If You Don’t See What You Want, Ask For It.”
Country Shopkeeper—“Think I want to be bothered with people asking for things I ain’t got. Give me one reading “Ef Yeh Don’t See What Yeh Want, Ask Fer Something Else.”
16.The number of soldiers placed at a review is such that they could be formed into 4 hollow squares, each 4 deep, and contain 24 men in the front rank more than when formed into a solid square. Find the whole number.
In the counting-house of an Irishman the following notice is exhibited in a conspicuous place: “Persons having no business in this office will please get it done as soon as possible and leave.”
17.Upon a piece of cardboard drawThe three designs you see—I should have said of each shape four—Which when cut out will be,If joined correctly, that which youAre striving to unfold—An octagon, familiar toMy friends both young and old.
17.Upon a piece of cardboard drawThe three designs you see—I should have said of each shape four—Which when cut out will be,If joined correctly, that which youAre striving to unfold—An octagon, familiar toMy friends both young and old.
17.Upon a piece of cardboard drawThe three designs you see—I should have said of each shape four—Which when cut out will be,If joined correctly, that which youAre striving to unfold—An octagon, familiar toMy friends both young and old.
“I was induced to-day, by the importunity of your traveller,” wrote an up-country store-keeper to a Brisbane firm, “to give him an order; but, as I did it merely to get rid of him in a civil manner, and to prevent my losing any more time, I must ask you to cancel the same.”
A CATCH IN EUCHRE.
18.What card in the game of euchre is always trumps and yet never turned up? This often puzzles many.
RELIGIOUS RECKONING.—(The New Jerusalem.)
Revelations xxi. (15)—“And he that talked with me had a golden rule to measure the city and the gates thereof and the wall thereof;
(16) “And the city lieth four square, and the length is as large as the breadth, and he measured the city with the reed twelve thousand furlongs. The length and the breadth and the height of it are equal.”
12,000 furlongs = 7,920,000 feet, which cubed = 496793088000000000000 cubic feet; half of this we will reserve for the Throne and Court of Heaven, and half the balance for streets, &c., leaving a remainder of 124198272000000000000 cubic feet. Divide this by 4096 (the cubic feet in a room 16 feet square) and there will be 3032184375 000000 rooms. Suppose that the world always did and always will contain 990,000,000 inhabitants, and that a generation lasts 33⅓ years, making in all 2,970,000,000 every century, and that the world will stand 100,000 years, totalling 2,970,000,000,000 inhabitants; then suppose there were 100 worlds equal to this in number of inhabitants and duration of years, making a total of 297,000,000,000,000 persons. There would then be more than 100 rooms 16 feet square for each person.
19.A man had a certain number of £’s, which he divided among 4 men. To the first he gave a part, to the second one-third of what was left after the first’s share, to the third he gave five-eighths of what was left, and to the fourth the balance, which equalled two-fifths of the first man’s share. How much money did he have, and how much did each receive, none receiving as much as £20?
ROWING AGAINST TIME.
20.In a time race, one boat is rowed over the course at an average pace of 4 yards per second, another moves over the first half of the course at the rate of 3½ yards per second, and over the last half at 4½ yards per second, reaching the winning post 15 seconds later than the first. Find time taken by each.
STOCK-BREEDING.
21.A farmer, being asked what number of animals he kept, answered: “They’re all horses but two, all sheep but two, and all pigs but two.” How many had he?
A QUIBBLE.
22.What is the difference between twice one hundred and five, and twice one hundred, and ten?
23.The product of two numbers is six times their sum, and the sum of their squares is 325. What are the numbers?
THE PUZZLE ABOUT THE “PER CENTS.”
There are many persons engaged in business who often become badly mixed when they attempt to handle the subject of per centages. The ascending scale is easy enough: 5 added to 20 is a gain of 25%; given any sum of figures the doubling of it is an addition of 100%. But the moment the change is a decreasing calculation the inexperienced mathematician betrays himself, and even the expert is apt to stumble or go astray. An advance from 20 to 25 is an increase of 25%; but the reverse of this, that is, a decline from 25 to 20 is a decrease of only 20%.
There are many persons, otherwise intelligent, who cannot see why the reduction of 100 to 50 is not a decrease of 100%, if an advance from 50 to 100 is an increase of 100%.
The other day, an article of merchandise which had been purchased at 10 pence a pound was resold at 30 pence a pound—an advance of 200%. Whereupon, a writer in chronicling the sale said that at the beginning of the recent depression several invoices of the same class of goods which had cost over 30 pence per pound had been finally sold at 10 pence per pound—a loss of over 200%! Of course there cannot be a decrease or loss of more than 100%, because this wipes out the whole investment and makes the price nothing. An advance from 10 to 30 is a gain of 200%; but a decline of 30 to 10 is a loss of only 66⅔%.
A very deserving trader was ruined by his miscalculations respecting mercantile discounts. The article he manufactured he at first supplied to retail dealers at a large profit of about 30%. He afterwards confined his trade almost exclusively to large wholesale houses, to whom he charged the same price, but allowed a discount of 20%, believing that he was still realising 10% for his own profit. His trade was very extensive, and it was not till after some years that he discovered the fact that in place of making 10% profit, as he imagined, by this mode of making his sales he was realising only 4%. To £100 value of goods he added 30%, and invoiced them at £130. At the end of each month, in the settlement of accounts amounting to some thousands of pounds with individual houses, he deducted 20%, or £26 on each £130, leaving £104, value of goods at prime cost, instead of £110, as he all along expected.
24.Divide 75 into two parts so that three times the greater may exceed seven times the less by 15.
25.What number is that which, being divided by 7 and the quotient diminished by 10, three times the remainder shall be 24?
N.B.
“Trust men and they will trust you,” said Emerson. “Trust men and they will bust you,” says the business man.
26.Two years ago to Hobart-townA certain number of folk came down.The square root of half of them got married,And then in Hobart no longer tarried;Eight-ninths of all went away as well(This is a story sad to tell):The square root of four now live here in woe!How many came here two years ago?
26.Two years ago to Hobart-townA certain number of folk came down.The square root of half of them got married,And then in Hobart no longer tarried;Eight-ninths of all went away as well(This is a story sad to tell):The square root of four now live here in woe!How many came here two years ago?
PECULIARITIES OF SQUARES.
The following is well worth examining:—
27.How many inches are there in the diagonal of a cubic foot? and how many square inches in a superficies made by a plane through two opposite edges of the cube?
Father(who has helped his son in his arithmetic at home)—“What did the teacher remark when you showed him your sums?”
Johnny—“He said I was getting more stupid every day.”
A “CATCH.”
28.2 plus 2 = 42 x 2 = 4 The sum and product are alike.
Find another number that when added to itself the sum will equal its square.
29.A man went to market with 3 baskets of oranges, which he sold at 6d. per dozen; after paying 2s. for refreshments and his coach fare, he had remaining 7s. The contents of the first and second baskets were equal to four times the first, and the contents of the first and half the third were together equal to the second; if he had sold the second and third baskets at 4d per dozen, he would have made as much money as he had now remaining. What was the coach fare?
30.A farmer has a triangular paddock, the sides of which are 900, 750, and 600 links; he requires to cut off 3 roods and 28 perches therefrom by a straight fence parallel to its least side. What distance must be taken on the largest and intermediate sides?
THE SOVEREIGNS OF ENGLAND.
By the aid of the following, the order of the kings and queens of England may be easily remembered:—
First William the Norman, then William, his son;Henry, Stephen, and Henry, then Richard and John.Next Henry the Third, Edwards, one, two, and three;And again after Richard three Henrys we see.Two Edwards, third Richard, if rightly I guess,Two Henrys, sixth Edward, Queens Mary and Bess;Then Jamie the Scot, then Charles, whom they slew;Then followed Cromwell, another Charles, too.Next James, called the Second, ascended the Throne,Then William and Mary together came on.Then Anne, four Georges, and fourth William past,Succeeded Victoria, the youngest and last.
First William the Norman, then William, his son;Henry, Stephen, and Henry, then Richard and John.Next Henry the Third, Edwards, one, two, and three;And again after Richard three Henrys we see.Two Edwards, third Richard, if rightly I guess,Two Henrys, sixth Edward, Queens Mary and Bess;Then Jamie the Scot, then Charles, whom they slew;Then followed Cromwell, another Charles, too.Next James, called the Second, ascended the Throne,Then William and Mary together came on.Then Anne, four Georges, and fourth William past,Succeeded Victoria, the youngest and last.
31.Take from 33 the fourth, fifth, and tenth parts of a certain number, and the remainder is 0. What is the number?
A WALKING MATCH.
32.T bets D he can walk 7 miles to his 6 for any time or distance; so they agree to walk a certain distance, starting from opposite points. T starts from point M to walk to N. D starts from N and walks to M. They both started at the same moment, and met at a spot 10 miles nearer to N than M. T arrives at N in 8 hours, and D arrives at M in 12½ hours after meeting. Who wins the wager? How far from M to N? And find the pace at which each walked?
THE ALPHABET.
The total number of different combinations of the 26 letters of the alphabet is 403291461126605635584000000. All the inhabitants on the globe could not together, in a thousand million years, write out all the combinations, supposing that each wrote 40 pages daily, each page containing 40 different combinations of the letters.
“10 INTO 9 MUST GO.”
33.Ten weary footsore travellers, all in a woeful plight,Sought shelter at a wayside inn one dark and stormy night.“Nine rooms-no more,” the landlord said, “have I to offer you;To each of eight a single bed, but the ninth must serve for two.”A din arose; the troubled host could only scratch his head,For of those tired men no two would occupy one bed.The puzzled host was soon at ease (he was a clever man),And so, to please his guests, devised this most ingenious plan.
33.Ten weary footsore travellers, all in a woeful plight,Sought shelter at a wayside inn one dark and stormy night.“Nine rooms-no more,” the landlord said, “have I to offer you;To each of eight a single bed, but the ninth must serve for two.”A din arose; the troubled host could only scratch his head,For of those tired men no two would occupy one bed.The puzzled host was soon at ease (he was a clever man),And so, to please his guests, devised this most ingenious plan.
33.Ten weary footsore travellers, all in a woeful plight,Sought shelter at a wayside inn one dark and stormy night.
“Nine rooms-no more,” the landlord said, “have I to offer you;To each of eight a single bed, but the ninth must serve for two.”
A din arose; the troubled host could only scratch his head,For of those tired men no two would occupy one bed.
The puzzled host was soon at ease (he was a clever man),And so, to please his guests, devised this most ingenious plan.
Bobby(just from school)—“Mamma, I’ve got through the promisecue-us examples, an’ I’m into dismal fractures.”
34.Find the expense of flooring a circular skating rink 30 feet in diameter at 2s. 3d. per square foot, leaving in the centre a space for a band kiosk in the shape of a regular hexagon, each side of which measures 24 inches.
35.Gold can be hammered so thin that a grain will make 56 square inches for leaf gilding. How many such leaves will make an inch thick if the weight of a cubic foot of gold is 12 cwt. 95 lbs.?
School Inspector: “What part of speech is the word “am”?
Smart Cockney Youth: “What? the ‘’am’ what you eat, sir, or the ’am‘ what you is?”
MIND-READING WITH CARDS.
Hand the pack (a full one) to be shuffled by as many spectators as wish; then propose that someone takes the pack in his hand and secretly chooses a card, not removing it, but noticing at what number it stands counting from the bottom; he then returns the pack to you.
Now you have to tell what number the card is from the top. You ask any one of the spectators to choose any number between 40 and 50, and whatever number is chosen the card will appear at that number in the pack. Let us suppose the number chosen is 48.
You then say that it is not necessary for you to even see the cards, which will give you a good excuse for holding them under the table, or behind your back. Now subtract the number chosen, 48, from 52, which gives remainder 4, count off that many cards from the top, and place them at the bottom. You next say to the gentleman who chooses the card, that “it is now number 48, according to the general desire, would you please let us know at what number it originally stood?” Suppose he answers 7. Then, in order to save time, you commence counting from the top at that number, dealing off the cards one by one, calling the first card 7, the next 8, and so on. When you reach 48, it will be the card the gentleman had chosen. It is not necessary to limit the choice of position to between 40 and 50, but it is better for two reasons.
First, that the number chosen be higher than that at which the card first stood, also the higher the number chosen, the fewer cards are there to slip from the top to the bottom.
36.Divide a St. George cross, by two straight cuts, into four pieces, so that the pieces, when put together, will form a square.
PARSING.
“What part of speech is ‘kiss’?” asked the High School teacher.
“A conjunction,” replied one of the smart girls.
“Wrong,” said the teacher, severely. “Next girl.”
“A noun,” put in a demure maiden.
“What kind of a noun?” continued the teacher.
“Well—er—it is both common and proper,” answered the shy girl, and she was promoted to the head of the class.
“QUICK.”
Teacher(to class)—“What is velocity?”
Bright Youth—“Velocity is what a person puts a hot plate down with.”
OFFICE RULES.
I.Gentlemen entering this Office will please leave the door wide open.
II.Those having no business will please call often, remain as long as possible, take a chair, make themselves comfortable, and gossip with the Clerks.
III.Gentlemen are requested to smoke, and expectorate on the floor, especially during Office Hours; Cigars and Newspapers supplied.
IV.The Money in this Office is not intended for business purposes—by no means—it is solely to lend. Please note this.
V.A Supply of Cash is always provided to Cash Cheques for all comers, and relieve Bank Clerks of their legitimate duties. Stamped cheque forms given gratis.
VI.Talk loud and whistle, especially when we are engaged; if this has not the desired effect, sing.
VII.The Clerks receive visits from their friends and their relatives; please don’t interrupt them with business matters when so engaged.
VIII.Gentlemen will please examine our letters, and jot down the Names and Addresses of our Customers, particularly if they are in the same profession.
IX.As we are always glad to see old friends, it will be particularly refreshing to receive visits and renewal of orders from any former Customer who has passed through the Bankruptcy Court, and paid us not more than Sixpence in the Pound. AWarmwelcome may be relied on.
X.Having no occupation for our Office Boy, he is entirely at the service of callers.
XI.Our Telephone is always at the disposal of anyone desirous of using it.
XII.The following are kept at this Office for Public Convenience:—A Stock of Umbrellas (silk), all the Local Newspapers, Railway Time Tables, and other Guides and Directories; also a supply of Note Paper, Envelopes, and Stamps.
XIII.Should you find our principals engaged, do not hesitate to interrupt them. No business can possibly be of greater importance than yours.
XIV.If you have the opportunity of overhearing any conversation, do not hesitate to listen. You may gain information which may be useful in the event of disputes arising.
XV.In case you wish to inspect our premises, kindly do so during wet weather, and carry your umbrella with you. We admire the effect on the floor; it gives an air of comfort to the establishment. (The Umbrella Stand is only for ornament, and on no account to be used).
P.S.—Our hours for listening to Commercial Travellers, Beggars, Hawkers, and Advertising Men are all day. We attend to our Business at Night only.
A NEW WAY OF PUTTING IT.
“Dirty days hath September,April, June and November;From January up to May,The rain it raineth every day.All the rest have thirty-one,Without a blessed gleam of sun;And if any of them had two and thirty,They’d be just as wet and twice as dirty.”
“Dirty days hath September,April, June and November;From January up to May,The rain it raineth every day.All the rest have thirty-one,Without a blessed gleam of sun;And if any of them had two and thirty,They’d be just as wet and twice as dirty.”
Does the top of a carriage wheel move faster than the bottom? This question seems absurd. That the top moves faster, however, is perfectly correct; for if not it would simply move round in the same place: in a wheel on a fixed axle the bottom moves backward as fast as the top moves forward; but in a wheel that is going forward, drawn by a progressive axle, the bottom does not go back at all, but remains almost stationary until it is its turn to rise and go forward.
37.A General, arranging his army in a solid square, finds he has 284 men to spare, but on increasing the sides of the square by one man, he wants 25 men to complete the square. How many men has he?
“STEWING.”
38.A student reads two lines more of “Virgil” each day than he did the day before, and finds that, having read a certain quantity in 18 days, he will read at this rate the same quantity in the next 14 days. How much will he read in the whole time?
39.Two bootmakers who lived in the town of B., thrown out of employment, resolved to go to G., a town 24 miles north from B., where there is a large factory; one of them went straight on to G., but the other went first to C., a small township west of B., and then went direct to G., his whole journey being 45 miles. What is the distance from C. to G.?
40.A tree which grows each year 1 inch less than the previous year, grew a yard in the first year; the value of the tree at any time is equal to the number of pence in the cube of the number of yards of its height. What is the value of the tree when done growing?
THIS OFTEN “STICKS” PEOPLE UP.
41.What two odd numbers multiplied together make 7?
MAGIC SQUARES.
A Magic Square is a series of figures arranged in the equal divisions of a square in such a manner that the figures in each row when added up, whether horizontally, vertically, or diagonally, form exactly the same sum.
They have been called “Magic” because the ancients ascribed to them great virtues, and because this arrangement of numbers formed the basis and principle of their talismans. Archimedes devoted a great amount of attention to them, which has caused a great many to speak of them as “the squares of Archimedes.” They may be either odd or even. When the former, the following method will be found valuable:—
With the digits from 1 to 25 form a square so that the numbers when added up horizontally, vertically, or diagonally will amount to 65.
Method.—Imagine an exterior line of squares above the magic square you wish to form, and another on the right hand of it. These two imaginary lines are shown in the diagram.
1st. In placing the numbers in the square, we must go in the ascending diagonal direction from left to right, any number which, by pursuing this direction, would fall into the exterior line must be carried along that line of squares, whether vertical or horizontal, to the last square. Thus, 1 having been placed in the centre of the top row, 2 would fall into the exterior square above the fourth vertical line; then ascending diagonally 3 falls into the square diagonally from 2, but 4 falls out of it to the end of a horizontal line, and it must be carried along that line to the extreme left and there placed. Resuming our diagonal ascension to the right we place 5 where the reader sees it, and would place 6 in the middle of the top row, but as we find 1 is already there we look for the direction to
2nd. That when in ascending diagonally we come to a square already occupied, we must place the number which, according to the 1st rule should go into that occupied square directly under the last number placed: thus, in ascending with 4, 5, 6, the 6 must be placed under the 5, because the square next to 5 in diagonal direction is occupied.
A Promising Sign—I O U.
HOW TO FIND THE TOTAL OF A ROW OFFIGURES IN A MAGIC SQUARE.
Rule.—Multiply half the sum of the extremes by the square root of the greatest extreme.
Referring to the example given above, we see that the extremes 1 and 25 added equal 26—half of which is 13; this multiplied by 5 (the square root of 25) gives 65 as the total for each row.
Again, in the next question, the two extremes 1 and 81 equal 82, half of this sum is 41, which multiplied by 9 (the square root of 81) gives 369 as the total for each row.
42.Arrange the figures from 1 to 81 in a square that when added up horizontally, vertically, or diagonally the sum will be 369.
HOW THEY WORKED IT.
Mick and Pat, working in the country some distance from a hotel, arranged with the landlord to take to their hut a small keg of rum. They were unable to pay for the liquor at the time, having only one threepenny piece between them; but Mick proposed that every time he had a drink he would give Pat threepence, and Pat also agreed to pay Mick for his drinks, the cash thus gathered to be brought to the publican when the keg was empty. This proposal was accepted by the publican, the keg of rum handed over to the two Irishmen, who immediately started on their journey. They had not proceeded very far before their burden made them thirsty. Mick is the first to pull up with: “Hold on, Pat, I think I’ll have a drink.” “Begorra,” replied Pat, “you’ll have to pay me for it then.” Mick hands the 3d. to Pat before having a good “pull.” Pat now being the possessor of the price of a drink, slakes his thirst by paying Mick 3d. for it. This form of payment is kept up till the rum has disappeared. On their next visit to the hotel, the 3d piece is handed to the landlord as being payment, according to terms of agreement adopted by him.
43.Arrange the figure’s from 1 to 9 in a square, so that they will add up to 15, horizontally, vertically, or diagonally.
44.
45.A man sold a horse for £35 and half as much as he gave for it, and gained thereby 10 guineas. What did he pay for the horse?
THE DISHONEST SERVANT.
46.A gentleman having bought 28 bottles of wine, and suspecting his servant of tampering with the contents of the wine cellar, caused these bottles to be arranged in a bin in such a way as to count 9 bottles on each side. Nothwithstanding this precaution, the servant in two successive visits stole 8 bottles—4 each time—re-arranging the bottles each time so that they still counted 9 on a side. How did he do it?
Father—“You are very backward in your arithmetic. When I was your age I was doing cube roots.”
Boy—“What’s them?”
Father—“What! You don’t know what they are? My! my! that’s terrible! There, give me your pencil. Now, we take, say, 28764289, and find the cube root. First, you divide—no, you point off—no—let me see?—um—yes—no—don’t stand there grinning like a Cheshire cat; go upstairs and stay in your bedroom for an hour.”
A “TAKE-DOWN” WITH CARDS.
This is a card trick which depends upon a certain “key,” the possessor of which will always have the advantage over his uninstructed adversary. It is played with the first six of each suit—the four aces in one row, next row the deuces, threes, fours, fives and sixes. The object now will be to turn down cards alternately, and endeavour to make thirty-one points by so turning without over-running that number. The chief point is to count so as to end with the following numbers: 3, 10, 17 or 24.
For instance, we will suppose it your privilege to commence the count; you would commence with 3, and your adversary would add 6, which would make 9; it would be then your policy to add 1 and make 10; then, no matter what number he adds he cannot prevent you making 17, which gives you the command of the trick. We will suppose he adds 6 and make 16; then you add 1 and make 17; then he to add 6 and make 23, you add 1 and make 24; then he cannot add any number to make 31, as the highest number he can add is 6, which would only count 30, so that you can easily add the remaining 1 and make 31.
If your adversary is not wary, you may safely turn indifferent numbers at the beginning, trusting to his ignorance to let you count 17 or 24; but, as his knowledge increases, he will soon learn that 24 is a critical number, and to play for it accordingly.
If both players know the trick, the first to play must be the winner, as he is sure to begin with a 3, which commands the game.
ON AN OFFICE DOOR IN GOULBURN.
A baptism in Hades’ depths,As hot as boiling tar,Awaits the man who quits this roomAnd leaves the door ajar.But he who softly shuts the doorShall dwell among the blest—Where the wicked cease from troublingAnd the weary are at rest.
A baptism in Hades’ depths,As hot as boiling tar,Awaits the man who quits this roomAnd leaves the door ajar.But he who softly shuts the doorShall dwell among the blest—Where the wicked cease from troublingAnd the weary are at rest.
47.There are 5 eggs on a dish; divide them amongst 5 persons so that each will get 1 egg and yet 1 still remain on the dish.
48.If a goose weighs 10 lbs. and a half of its own weight, what is the weight of the goose?
THE GEOMETRICAL WONDER AND ARITHMETICAL ABSURDITY.
5 × 13 = 65 square inches.
5 × 13 = 65 square inches.
Take a piece of cardboard 13 inches long and 5 wide, thus giving a surface of 65 inches. Cut this strip diagonally, giving two pieces in the shape of a triangle, and measure exactly 5 inches from the larger end of each strip and cut in two pieces. Take these strips and put them into the shape of an exact square, and it will appear to be just 8 inches each way, or 64 inches—a loss of one square inch of superficial measurement with no diminution of surface.
49.If we buy 20 sheep for 20 shillings, and give 2s. for wethers, 1s. 6d. for ewes, and 4d. for lambs, how many of each must we buy?
50.A sets out from a place and travels 5 miles an hour. B sets out 4½ hours after A and travels in the same direction 3 miles in the first hour, 3½ miles the second hour, 4 miles the third hour, and so on. In how many hours will B overtake A?
OFTEN ASKED.
51.What is the difference between 4 square miles and 4 miles square?
TO TELL THE NUMBER THOUGHT OF ON A CLOCK.
Ask a person to think of any number on the dial of a clock; you then point, promiscuously at the various numbers, telling the person to add the number of times you point to the number he thought of, and when the total reaches 20, you will be pointing at the number he selected.
For instance, suppose he selected the number 5. You point indifferently 7 times at the various numbers, but the 8th time your pointer must be at XII., his addition will then be 13 (for 5 and 8 added equal 13), the next at XI., his addition then 14, next at X., and so on. When he calls 20, you will be pointing at the number he thought of—5.
A very amusing experiment is to ask a person to write down the figures around the dial of a clock. Nearly all know that the figures are generally the Roman numerals; but, in writing them down, when they come to the four, it is very often written IV. instead of IIII.
It is said that a certain king, being unable to find any other fault in a clock that had been constructed for him, declared that the figure four should be represented by four strokes (IIII) instead of IV. In vain did the clock-maker point out the mistake, for his majesty adhered obstinately to his own opinion, and angrily ordered the alteration to be made. This was done, and the precedent thus formed has been followed by clockmakers ever since.
52.At dinner table: one great grandfather, 2 grandfathers, 1 grandmother, 3 fathers, 2 mothers, 4 children, 3 grandchildren, 1 great grandchild, 3 sisters, 1 brother, 2 husbands, 2 wives, 1 mother-in-law, 1 father-in-law, 2 brothers-in-law, 3 sisters-in-law, 2 uncles, 3 aunts, 1 nephew, 2 nieces, and 2 cousins. How many persons?
“Can February March?” he asked.“No, but April May,” was the reply.“Look here, old man, you are out of June.”“Don’t July about it.”“It is not often one gets the better of your August personage.”“Ha! now you have me Noctober.”And then there was work for the coroner.
“Can February March?” he asked.“No, but April May,” was the reply.“Look here, old man, you are out of June.”“Don’t July about it.”“It is not often one gets the better of your August personage.”“Ha! now you have me Noctober.”And then there was work for the coroner.
PANCAKE DAY.
53.On Shrove Tuesday last, I’ll tell you what pass’dIn a neighbouring gentleman’s kitchen,Where pancakes were making, with eggs, and with baconAs good as e’er cut off a flitchen.The cook-maid she makes four lusty pancakesFor William her favourite gardener,“Pray be quick with that four,” cries Jack, “and make more,For William won’t let me go partner.”Being sparing of lard, the pan’s bottom she marr’dIn making the last of Will’s four;So she said, “Pr’ythee, John, run and borrow a pan,Or else I can’t make any more.”Jack soon got a pan, but found by his spanThat the first was more wide than the latter,This being a foot o’er, whereas that beforeWas three inches more and a quarter.Jack cries, “Don’t me cozen, but make half a dozen.For the pan is much less than before;”Says Will, “For a crown (and I’ll put the cash down)Your six will be more than my four.”“Tis done,” says brisk Jack, and his crown he did stake,So both of them sent for a gauger;The dimensions he takes, of all their pancakes,To determine this important wager.He found, by his stick, they were equally thick,So one of Will’s cakes he did take,Which he straight cut in twain, twelve one-fifth[1]the chord line;And gave the less piece unto Jack.“To the best of my skill,” says the gauger, “this willMake both of your shares equal and true;”Will swore that he lied, so, the point to decide,They refer themselves, sirs, unto you;Then pray give your answers, as soon as you can, sirs,For what with their quarrels and jars,We’re afraid of some murder, for no day goes overBut they fight, and are cover’d with scars!
53.On Shrove Tuesday last, I’ll tell you what pass’dIn a neighbouring gentleman’s kitchen,Where pancakes were making, with eggs, and with baconAs good as e’er cut off a flitchen.The cook-maid she makes four lusty pancakesFor William her favourite gardener,“Pray be quick with that four,” cries Jack, “and make more,For William won’t let me go partner.”Being sparing of lard, the pan’s bottom she marr’dIn making the last of Will’s four;So she said, “Pr’ythee, John, run and borrow a pan,Or else I can’t make any more.”Jack soon got a pan, but found by his spanThat the first was more wide than the latter,This being a foot o’er, whereas that beforeWas three inches more and a quarter.Jack cries, “Don’t me cozen, but make half a dozen.For the pan is much less than before;”Says Will, “For a crown (and I’ll put the cash down)Your six will be more than my four.”“Tis done,” says brisk Jack, and his crown he did stake,So both of them sent for a gauger;The dimensions he takes, of all their pancakes,To determine this important wager.He found, by his stick, they were equally thick,So one of Will’s cakes he did take,Which he straight cut in twain, twelve one-fifth[1]the chord line;And gave the less piece unto Jack.“To the best of my skill,” says the gauger, “this willMake both of your shares equal and true;”Will swore that he lied, so, the point to decide,They refer themselves, sirs, unto you;Then pray give your answers, as soon as you can, sirs,For what with their quarrels and jars,We’re afraid of some murder, for no day goes overBut they fight, and are cover’d with scars!