Chapter 4

¶ A béesome of byrche, for babes very feete,[52]A longe lastinge lybbet for loubbers as méeteA wyth to wynde vp, that these wyll not kéepeBynde all up in one, and vse it to swéepe

A béesome

[This page is printed at the back of the title page in Bodley edition.]

HARMAN. TO THE READER.

[leaf 5]

AL though, good Reader, I wright in plain termes—and not so playnly as truely—concerning the matter, meaning honestly to all men, and wyshe them as much good as to myne owne harte; yet, as there hathe bene, so there is nowe, and hereafter wylbe, curyous heds to finde fauttes: wherefore I thought it necessary, now at this seconde Impression, to acquayntthe with a great faulte, as some takethe it, but none[53]as I meane it, callinge these Vagabonds Cursetors in the intytelynge of my booke, as runneres or rangers aboute the countrey, deriued of this Laten word (Curro): neither do I wryght it Cooresetores, with a duble[54]oo; or Cowresetors, with a w, which hath an other singnification: is there no deuersite betwen a gardein and a garden, maynteynaunceandmaintenance, Streytes and stretes? those that haue vnderstanding knowe there is a great dyfference: who is so ignorant by these dayes as knoweth not the meaning of a vagabone? and yf an ydell leuterar should be so called of eny man, would not he think it bothe odyous and reprochefull? wyll he not shonne the name? ye, and where as he maye and dare, withbent browes, wyll reueng that name of Ingnomy: yet this playne name vagabone is deryued, as others be, of Laten wordes, and now vse makes it commen to al men; but let vs loke back four .C. yeres sithens,andlet vs se whether this playn word vagabon was vsed or no. I beleue not, and why? because I rede of no such name in the old estatutes of this realme, vnles it be in the margente of the booke, or in the Table, which in the collection and pryntinge was set in; but these were then the commen names of these leud leuterars, Faytores, Robardesmen, Drawlatches,andvalyant beggares. Yf I should haue vsed suche wordes, or the same order of wryting, as this realme vsed in Kynge Henry the thyrd or Edwardthe fyrstes tyme, oh, what a grose, barberous fellow[leaf 5, back]haue we here! his wryting is both homely and darke, that wee had nede to haue an interpretar: yet then it was verye well, and in short season a great change we see. well, this delycat age shall haue his tyme on theother syde. Eloquence haue I none; I neuer was acquaynted with the muses; I neuer tasted of Helycon. But accordinge to my playne order, I haue setforth this worke, symplye and truelye, with such vsual words and termes as is among vs wel known and frequented. So that asthe prouerbe saythe, "all though truth be blamed, it shal neuer be shamed." well, good reader, I meane not to be tedyous vnto the, but haue added fyue or sixe more tales, because some of them weare donn whyle my booke was fyrste in the presse; and as I truste I haue deserued no rebuke for my good wyll, euen so I desyre no prayse for my payne, cost, and trauell. But faithfullye for the proffyt and benyfyt of my countrey I haue don it, that the whole body of the Realme may se and vnderstand their leud lyfe and pernitious practisses, that all maye spedelye helpe to amend that is amysse. Amen saye all with me.

Finis

HARMAN. A RUFFLER.

[leaf 6]

THE Rufflar, because he is first in degre of this odious order: And is so called in a statute made for the punishment of Vacabonds, In the xxvij. yeare of Kyng Henry the eight, late of most famous memory: Hée shall be first placed, as the worthiest of this vnruly rablement. And he is so called when he goeth first abroad; eyther he hath serued in the warres, or els he hath bene a seruinge man; and, weary of well doing, shakinge of all payne, doth chuse him this ydle lyfe, and wretchedly wanders aboute the most shyres of this realme. And with stout audacyte,[56]demaundeth where he thinketh hée maye be bolde, and circomspecte ynough, as he sethe cause to aske charitie, rufully and lamentably, that it would make a flyntey hart to relent, and pytie his miserable estate, howe he hath bene maymed and broused in the warres;and, parauenture, some wyll shew you some outward wounde, whiche he gotte at some dronken fraye, eyther haltinge of some preuye wounde festred with a fylthy firy flankard. For be well assured that the hardist souldiers be eyther slayne or maymed, eyther and[57]they escape all hassardes, and retourne home agayne, if they bée without reliefe of their friends, they wyl surely desperatly robbe and steale, and[58]eyther shortlye be hanged or miserably dye in pryson; for they be so much ashamed and disdayne to beg or aske charity, that rather they wyll as desperatlye fight for to lyue and mayntayne them selues, as manfully and valyantly they ventred them selues in the Prynces quarell. Now these Rufflars, the out castes of seruing men, when begginge or crauinge fayles, then they pycke and pylfer, from other inferiour beggeres that they méete by the waye, as Roages, Pallyardes, Mortes, and Doxes. Yea, if they méete with a woman alone ridinge to the market, eyther olde man or boye, that hée well knoweth wyll not resiste, such they filche and spoyle. These rufflars, after a yeare or two at the farthest, become vpryght men, vnlesse they be preuented by twind hempe.

{I had of late yeares an old man to my tennant, who customablya greate tyme went twise in the wéeke to London, eyther wyth fruite or with pescodes, when tyme serued therefore. And as he was comminge homewarde on blacke heathe, at the end thereof next to shotars hyl, he ouer tooke two rufflars, the one manerly wayting on the other, as one had ben the maister,andthe other the man or seruant,[leaf 6, back]caryinge his maisteres cloke. this olde man was verye glad that hee might haue their company ouer the hyl, because that day he had made a good market; for hée had seuen shyllinges in his purse, and a nolde angell, which this poore man had thought had not bene in his purse, for hée wylled his wyfe ouer night to take out the same angell, and laye it vp vntyll his comminge home agayne. And he verely thought that his wyfe had so don, whiche in dede for got to do it. Thus after salutations had, this maister rufflar entered into communication with this simple olde man, who, ridinge softlye beside them, commoned of many matters. Thus fedinge this old man with pleasaunt talke, vntyll they weare one the toppe of the hyll, where these rufflares might well beholde the coaste about them cleare, Quiclye stepes vnto this poore man, and taketh holde of his horse brydell, and leadeth him in to the wode, and demaundeth of him what and how much money he had in his purse. "Now, by my troth," quoth this old man; "you are a merrye gentle man. I knowe you meane not to take a waye anye thinge from me, but rather to geue me some if I shoulde aske it of you." By and by, this seruant thiefe casteth the cloke that he caried on his arme about this poore mans face, that he should not marke or vew them, with sharpe words to delyuer quicly that he had, and to confesse truly what was in his purse. This poore man, then all abashed, yelded, and confessed that he had but iust seuen shyllinges in his purse; and the trouth is he knew of no more. This old angell was falen out of a lytle purse into the botome of a great purse. Now, this seuen shyllings in whyte money they quickly founde, thinkinge in dede that there had bene no more; yet farther groping and searchinge, found this old angell. And with great admiration, this gentleman thyefe begane to blesse hym, sayinge, "good lorde, what a worlde is this! howe maye" (quoth hée) "a man beleueorHARMAN. A VPRIGHT MAN.truste in the same? se you not" (quoth he) "this old knaue tolde me that he had but seuen shyllings, and here is more by an angell: what an old knaue and a false knaue haue we here!" quoth this rufflar; "oure lorde haue mercy on vs, wyll this worlde neuer be better?"—and there with went their waye. And lefte the olde man in the wood, doinge him no more harme. But sorowfully sighinge, this olde man, returning home, declared his misaduenture, with all the words and circumstaunces aboue shewed. Wherat, for the tyme was great laughing, and this poore man for his losses among his louing neighboures well considered in the end.

[leaf 7]

A Vpright[59]man, the second in secte of this vnsemely sorte, must be next placed, of these rainginge rablement of rascales; some be seruing men, artificers, and laboryng men traded vp in husbandry. These not mindinge to get their lyuinge with the swete of their face, but casting of all payne, wyll wander, after their wycked maner, through the most shyres of this realm,—

{As Sommerset shyre, Wylshire, Barke shyre, Oxforde shyre,Harfordeshyre, Myddilsex, Essex, Suffolke, Northfolke, Sussex, Surrye, and Kent, as the cheyfe and best shyres of reliefe. Yea, not with out punishment by stockes, whyppinges, and imprisonment, in most of these places aboue sayde. Yet, not with standinge they haue so good lykinge in their lewed, lecherous loyteringe, that full quiclye all their punishmentes is[60]for gotten. And repentaunce is neuer thought vpon vntyll they clyme thrée tres with a ladder. These vnrewly rascales, in their roylynge, disperse them selues into seuerall companyes, as occation serueth, sometyme more and somtyme lesse. As, if they repayre to a poore husbandmans house, hée wyll go a lone, or one with him, and stoutely demaund his charytie, eyther shewing how he hath serued in the warres, and their maymed, eyther that he sekethe seruice, and saythe that he woulde be glad to take payne for hys lyuinge, althoughe he meaneth nothinge lesse.Yf he be offered any meate or drynke, he vtterlye refusethe scornefully, and wyll nought but money; and yf he espye yong pyges or pultry, he well noteth the place, and they the next night, or shortly after, hée wyll be sure to haue some of them, whyche they brynge to their stawlinge kens, which is their typplyng houses, as well knowen to them, according to the olde prouerbe, "as the begger knowes his dishe." For you must vnderstand, euery Typplyng ale house wyll neyther receiue them or their wares, but some certayne houses in euery shyre, especially for that purpose, where they shalbe better welcome to them then honester men. For by such haue they most gayne, and shalbe conuayde eyther into some loft out of the waye, or other secret corner not commen to any other; and thether repayre, at accustomed tymes, their harlots, whiche they terme Mortes and Doxes,—not with emty hands; for they be as skilfull in picking, riffling,andfilching as the vpright men, and nothing inferior to them in all kind of wyckednes, as in other places hereafter they shalbe touched. At these foresayde peltinge, peuish places and vnmannerly metinges, O! how the pottes walke about! their talking tounges talke at large. They bowle and bowse one to another, and for the tyme bousing belly chere. And after there ruysting recreation,[leaf 7, back]yf there be not rome ynough in the house, they haue cleane strawe in some barne or backehouse nere adioyning, where they couch comly to gether, and[61]it were dogge and byche; and he that is hardyste maye haue his choyse, vnlesse for a lytle good maner; some wyll take there owne that they haue made promyse vnto, vntyll they be out of sight, and then, according to the old adage, "out of minde." Yet these vpright men stand so much vpon their reputation, as they wyl in no case haue their wemen walke with them, but seperat them selues for a tyme, a moneth or more. And mete at fayres, or great markets, where they mete to pylfer and steale from staules, shoppes, or bothes. At these fayres the vpryght men vse commonly to lyeandlingar in hye wayes by lanes, some prety way or distaunce fromthe place, by which wayes they be assured that compeny passeth styll two and fro. And ther they[62]wyll demaund, with cap in hand and comly curtesy, the deuotion and charity ofthe people. Theyhaue ben much lately whipped at fayrs. Yf they aske at a stout yemans or farmars house his charity, they wyll goe strong as thre or foure in a company. Where for feare more then good wyll, they often haue reliefe. they syldome or neuer passe by a Iustices house, but haue by wayes, vnlesse he dwell alone, and but weakely manned; thether wyll they also go strong, after a slye, suttle sorte, as with their armes bounde vp with kercher or lyste, hauinge wrapte about the same filthy clothes, either their legges in such maner bewrapped halting down right. Not vnprouided of good codg[e]ls, which they cary to sustayne them, and, as they fayne, to kéepe gogges[63]from them, when they come to such good gentlemens houses. Yf any searche be made or they suspected for pylfring clothes of hedgges, or breaking of houses, which they commonly do when the owners bée eyther at the market, church, or other wayes occupyed aboute their busines,—eyther robbe some sely man or woman by the hye waye, as many tymes they do,—Then they hygh them into wodes, great thickets, and other ruffe corners, where they lye lurkinge thre or foure dayes to gether, and haue meate and drinke brought them by theyre Mortes, and Doxes; and whyle they thus lye hydden in couert, in the night they be not idle,—nether, asthe common saying is, "well occupyed;" for then, as the wyly foxe, crepinge out of his den, seketh his praye for pultery, so do these for lynnen and any thinge els worth money, that lyeth about or near a house. As somtyme a whole bucke of clothes caryed awaye at a tyme. When they haue a greatter booty then they maye cary awaye quickly to their stawling kendes, as is aboue sayd, They wyll hyde the same for a thre dayes in some thicke couert, and[leaf 8]in the night time carye the same, lyke good water Spanlles, to their foresayd houses. To whom they wyll discouer where or in what places they had the same, where the markes shalbe pycked out cleane,andconuayed craftely fare of, to sell. If the man or woman of the house want money themselues.[64]If these vpright men haue nether money nor wares, at these houses they shalbe trusted for their vitales, and it amount to twentye or thirty shyllings. Yea, if it fortune any of these vpright men to be taken, either suspected, or charged with fellony or petyebrybrye, don at such a tyme or such a place, he wyll saye he was in his hostes house. And if the man or wyfe of that house be examined by an officer, they boldelye vouche, that the[y] lodged him suche a tyme, whereby the truth cannot appeare. And if they chaunce to be retained into seruice, through their lamentable words, with any welthy man, They wyll tary but a smale tyme, either robbing his maister or som of his fellowes. And some of them vseth this polocye, that although they trauayle into al these shyres, aboue said, yet wyl they haue good credite, espiciallye in one shyre, where at diuers good farmars houses they be wel knowen, where they worke a moneth in a place or more, and wyll for that time behaue them selues very honestlyandpaynfully; And maye at any tyme, for their good vsage, haue worke of them; and to these at a ded lyft, or last refuge, they maye safely repayre vnto and be welcom, When in other places, for a knacke of knauery that they haue playd, thei dare not tary. These vyright men wil sildom or neuer want; for what is gotten by anye Mort, or Doxe, if it please him, hée doth comaunde the same. And if he mete any begger, whether he be sturdye or impotent, he wyll demaund of him, whether euer he was stalled to the roge or no. If he saye he was, he wyll know of whom, and his namethat stalled hym. And if he be not learnedly able to shewe him the whole circumstaunce thereof, he wyll spoyle him of his money, either of his best garment, if it be worth any money, and haue him to the bowsing ken, Which is to some typpling house next adioyninge; and laieth their to gage the best thing that he hath for twenty pence or two shyllinges: this man obeyeth for feare of beating. Then doth this vpright man call for a gage of bowse, whiche is a quarte pot of drinke, and powres the same vpon his peld pate, adding these words:—"I. G. P. do stalle thée W. T. to the Roge, and that from hence forth it shall be lawefull for the to Cant"—that is, to aske or begge—"for thy liuing in al places." Here you sethat the vpright man is of great auctorite. For all sortes of beggers are obedient to his hests, and surmounteth all others in pylfring and stealinge. ¶ I lately had standinge in my[leaf 8, back]well house, which standeth on the backeside of my house, a great cawdron of copper, beinge then full of water, hauinge in the same halfe a dosonof pewter dyshes,HARMAN. A HOKER, OR ANGGLEAR.well marked, and stamped withthe connizance of my armes, whiche being well noted when they were taken out, were set a side, the water powred out, and my caudren taken awaye, being of such bygnes that one man, vnlesse he were of great strength, was not able far to cary the same. Not withstandinge, the same was one night within this two yeares conuayed more then half a myle from my house, into a commen or heth, And ther bestowed in a great firbushe. I then immediatly the next day sent one of my men to London, and there gaue warning in Sothwarke, kent strete, and Barmesey stréete, to all the Tynckars there dwelling,—That if any such Caudron came thether to be sold, the bringar therof should be stayed, and promised twenty shyllings for a reward. I gaue also intelligence to the water men that kept the ferres, that no such vessel should be ether conuayd to London or into essex, promysing the lyke reward, to haue vnderstanding therof. This my doing was well vnderstand in many places about, and that the feare of espyinge so troubledthe conscience of the stealer, that my caudoren laye vntouched in the thicke firbushe more then halfe a yeare after, which, by a great chaunce, was found by hunteres for conneys; for one chaunced to runne into the same bushe where my caudren was, and being perceaued, one thrust his staffe into the same bushe, and hyt my caudren a great blowe, the sound whereof dyd cause the man to thinke and hope that there was some great treasure hidden, wherby he thought to be the better whyle he lyued. And in farther searching he found my caudren; so had I the same agayne vnloked for.

THese hokers, or Angglers, be peryllous and most wicked knaues, and be deryued or procede forth from the vpright men; they commenly go in frese ierkynes and gally slopes, poynted benethe the kne; these when they practise there pylfringe, it is all by night; for, as they walke a day times from house to house, to demaund charite, they vigelantly marke where or in what place they maye attayne to there praye, casting there eyes vp to euery wyndow, well noting what they se their, whether apparell or linnen, hanginge nere vnto the sayde wyndowes, and that wyll theybe sure to hauethe next night folowing;HARMAN. A HOKER. A ROGE.they customably carry with them a staffe of v. or vi. foote long, in which, within one ynch ofthe tope therof, ys a lytle hole bored through,[leaf 9]in which hole they putte an yron hoke, and with the same they wyll pluck vnto them quickly any thingthat they may reche ther with, which hoke in the day tyme they couertly cary about them, and is neuer sene or taken out till they come to the place where they worke there fete: such haue I sene at my house, and haue oft talked with them and haue handled ther staues, not then vnderstanding to what vse or intent they serued, although I hadde and perceiued, by there talke and behauiour, great lykelyhode of euyll suspition in them: they wyl ether leane vppon there staffe, to hyde the hole thereof, when they talke with you, or holde their hande vpon the hole; and what stuffe, either wollen or lynnen, they thus hoke out, they neuer carye the same forth with to their staulyng kens, but hides the same a iij. daies in some secret corner,andafter conuayes the same to their houses abouesaid, where their host or hostys geueth them money for the same, but halfe the value that it is worth, or els their doxes shall a farre of sell the same at the like houses. I was credebly informed that a hoker came to a farmers house in the ded of the night, and putting back a drawe window of a low chamber, the bed standing hard by the sayd wyndow, in which laye three parsones (a man and two bygge boyes), this hoker with his staffe plucked of their garments which lay vpon them to kepe them warme, with the couerlet and shete, and lefte them lying a slepe naked sauing there shertes, and had a way all clene, and neuer could vnderstande where it became. I verely suppose that when they wer wel waked with cold, they suerly thought that Robin goodfelow (accordinge to the old saying) had bene with them that night.

A Roge is neither so stoute or hardy as the vpright man. Many of them will go fayntly and looke piteously when they sée, either méete any person, hauing a kercher, as white as my shooes, tyed about their head, with a short staffe in their hand, haltinge, although they nede not, requiring almes of such as theyméete,HARMAN. A ROGE.or to what house they shal com. But you may easely perceiue by their colourthat thei cary both health and hipocrisie about them, wherby they get gaine, when others want that cannot fayne and dissemble. Others therebee that walke sturdely aboutthe countrey,andfaineth to seke a brother or kinsman of his, dwelling within som part ofthe shire;—ether that he hath a letter to deliuer to som honest housholder, dwelling out of an other Shyre, and will shewe you the same fayre sealed, with the superscription to[leaf 9, back]the partye he speaketh of, because you shall not thinke him to runne idelly about the countrey;—either haue they this shyfte, they wyll cary a cirtificate or pasport about them from som Iusticer of the peace, with his hand and seale vnto the same, howe hée hath bene whipped and punished for a vacabonde according to the lawes of this realme, and that he muste returne to .T., where he was borne or last dwelt, by a certayne daye lymited in the same, whiche shalbe a good longe daye. And all this fayned, bycause without feare they woulde wyckedly wander, and wyll renue the same where or when it pleasethe them; for they haue of their affinity that can wryte and read. These also wyll picke and steale as the vpright men, and hath their women and metinges at places apoynted, and nothinge to them inferiour in all kynde of knauery. There bée of these Roges Curtales, wearinge shorte clokes, that wyll chaunge their aparell, as occation seruethe. And their end is eyther hanginge, whiche they call trininge in their language, or die miserably of the pockes.

¶ There was not long sithens two Roges that alwaies did associate them selues together,andwould neuer seperat them selues, vnles it were for some especiall causes, for they were sworn brothers,andwere both of one age, and much like of favour: these two, trauelinge into east kent, resorted vnto an ale house there,[65]being weried with traueling, saluting with short curtisey, when they came into the house, such as thei sawe sitting there, in whiche company was the parson of the parish; and callinge for a pot of the best ale, sat downe at the tables ende: the lykor liked them so well, that they had pot vpon pot, and sometyme, for a lytle good maner, would drinke and offer the cup to such as they best fancied; and to be short, they satout al the company, for eche man departed home aboute their busines. When they had well refreshed them selues, then these rowsy roges requested the good man of the house wyth his wyfe to sit downe and drinke with them, of whome they inquired what priest the same was, and where he dwelt: then they fayninge that they had an vncle a priest, and that he should dwel in these partes, which by all presumptions it should be he, and that they came of purpose to speake with hym, but because they had not sene hym sithens they were sixe yeares olde, they durst not be bold to take acquayntance of him vntyl they were farther instructed of the truth, and began to inquier of his name, and how longe he had dwelt there, and how farre his house was of fromthe place they were in: the good wyfe of the house, thynkinge them honest men without disceit, because they so farre enquyred of their kinseman, was but of a good zelous naturall intent, shewed them cherefully that hee[leaf 10]was an honest manandwelbeloued in the parish, and of good welth,andhad ben there resident xv. years at the least; "but," saith she, "are you both brothers?" "yea, surely," said they, "we haue bene both in one belly,andwere twinnes." "Mercy, god!" quoththis folish woman; "it may wel be, for ye be not much vnlike,"—and wente vnto her hall windowe, callinge these yong men vnto her, and loking out therat,[66]pointed with her fingarandshewed them the house standing alone, no house nere the same by almoste a quarter of a myle; "that," sayd[67]she, "is your vncles house." "Nay," saith one of them, "he is not onely my vncle, but also my godfather." "It may well be," quothshe, "nature wyll bind him to be the better vnto you." "Well," quoththey, "we be weary, and meane not to trouble our vncle to-night; but to-morowe, god willinge, we wyll sée him and do our duty: but, I pray you, doth our vncle occupy husbandry? what company hath he in his house." "Alas!" saith she, "but one old womananda boy, he hath no occupying at al: tushe," quoththis good wyfe, "you be mad men; go to him this night, for hée hath better lodging for you then I haue,andyet I speake folishly against my[68]own profit, for by your taring[69]here I should gainethe more by you." "Now, by my troth," quothone of them, "we thankeyou, good hostes, for your holsome councell, and we meane to do as you wyll vs: we wyl pause a whyle, and by that tyme it wylbe almost night;andI praye you geue vs a reckeninge,"—so, manerly paying for that they toke, bad their hoste and hostes farewell with takinge leaue of the cup, marched merelye out of the dores towardes this parsones house, vewed the same well rounde about, and passed by two bowshotes of into a younge wodde, where they laye consultinge what they shoulde do vntyll midnight. Quoth one of them, of sharper wyt and subtyller then the other, to hys fellowe, "thou seest that this house is stone walled about, and that we cannot well breake in, in any parte thereof; thou seest also that the windowes be thicke of mullions, that ther is no kreping in betwene: wherefore we must of necessytie vse some policye when strength wil not serue. I haue a horse locke here about me," saith he; "and this I hope shall serue oure turne." So when it was aboute xii. of the clocke, they came to the house and lurked nere vnto his chamber wyndowe: the dog of the house barked a good, that with they[70]noise, this priest waketh out of his sléepe, and began to cough and hem: then one of these roges stepes forth nerer the windowandmaketh a rufulandpityful noise, requiring for Christ sake[71]some reliefe, that was both hongry and thirstye, and was like to ly with out the dores all nighte and starue for colde, vnles he were releued by him with some small pece of money. "Where dwellest thou?" quoth this parson. "Alas! sir," saithe this roge, "I haue smal[leaf 10, back]dwelling, and haue com out of my way; and I should now," saith he, "go to any towne nowe at this time of night, they woulde set me in the stockes and punishe me." "Well," quoth this pitifull parson, "away from my house, either lye in some of my out houses vntyll the morning, and holde, here is a couple of pence for thée." "A god rewarde you," quoth this roge; "and in heauen may you finde it." The parson openeth his wyndowe, and thrusteth out his arme to geue his almes to this Roge that came whining to receiue it, and quickly taketh holde of his hand, and calleth his fellowe to him, whiche was redye at hande with the horse locke, and clappeth the same about the wrest of his arme, that the mullions standing so close together for strength, that for hislife he could not plucke in his arme againe, and made him beleue, vnles he would at the least geue them .iii. li., they woulde smite of his arme from the body. So that this poore parson, in feare to lose his hand, called vp his olde woman that lay in the loft ouer him, and wylled her to take out all the money he had, which was iiij. markes, which he saide was all the money in his house, for he had lent vi. li. to one of his neighbours not iiij daies before. "Wel," quoththey, "master parson, if you haue no more, vpon this condicion we wil take of the locke, that you will drinke .xij. pence for our sakes to-morow at the alehouse wher we found you, and thank the good wife for the good chere she made vs." He promised faithfully that he would so do; so they toke of the locke, and went their way so farre ere it was daye, that the parson coulde neuer haue any vnderstanding more of them. Now this parson, sorowfully slumbering that night betwene feare and hope, thought it was but folly to make two sorrowes of one; he vsed contentacion for his remedy, not forgetting in the morning to performe his promise, but went betims to his neighbour that kept tiplinge, and asked angerly where the same two men were that dranke with her yester daye. "Which two men?" quoththis good wife. "The straungers that came in when I was at your house wyth my neighbores yesterday." "What! your neuewes?" quothshe, "My neuewes?" quoththis parson; "I trowe thou art mad." "Nay, by god!" quoththis good[72]wife, "as sober as you; for they tolde me faithfully that you were their vncle: but, in fayth, are you not so in dede? for, by my trouth, they are strau[n]gers to me. I neuer saw them before." "O, out vpon them!" quoththe parson; "they be false theues, and this night thei compelled me to geue them al the money in my house." "Benedicite!" quoththis good wife, "andhaue they so in dede? as I shall aunswere before god, one of them told me besides that you were godfather to him, and that he trusted to haue your blessinge before he departed." "What! did he?" quoth this parson; "a halter blesse him for[leaf 11]me!" "Me thinketh, by the masse, by your countenance you loked so wildly when you came in," quoth this good wife, "that somthing was amis." "I vse not to gest,"quothHARMAN. A WYLDE ROGE.this parson, "when I speake so earnestly." "Why, all your sorrowes goe with it," quoth this good wife, "and sitte downe here, and I will fil a freshe pot of ale shall make you mery agayne." "Yea," saith this parson, "fill in,andgeue me some meat; for they made me sweare and promise them faithfully that I shoulde drinke xii. pence with you this day." "What! dyd they?" quoth she; "now, by the mary masse, they be mery knaues. I warraunt you they meane to bye no land with your money; but how could they come into you in the night, your dores being shut fast? your house is very stronge." Then this prason[73]shewed her all the hole circumstance, how he gaue them his almes oute at the wyndowe, they[74]made such lamentable crye that it pytied him at the hart; for he sawe but one when he put oute his hand at the wyndowe. "Be ruled by me," quoth this good wyfe. "Wherin?" quoth this parson. "By my troth, neuer speake more of it: when they shal vnderstand of it in the parish, they wyll but laugh you to skorne."[75]"Why, then," quoth this parson, "the deuyll goe with it,"—and their an end.[75]

A Wilde Roge is he that is borne a Roge: he is a more subtil and more geuen by nature to all kinde of knauery then the other, as beastely begotten in barne or bushes, and from his infancye traded vp in trechery; yea, and before ripenes of yeares doth permyt, wallowinge in lewde lechery, but that is counted amongest them no sin. For this is their custome, that when they mete in barne at night, euery one getteth a make[76]to lye wythall,andtheir chaunce to be twentye in a companye, as their is sometyme more and sometyme lesse: for to one man that goeth abroad, there are at the least two women, which neuer make it straunge when they be called, although she neuer knewe him before. Then when the day doth appeare, he rouses him vp, and shakes his eares, and awaye wanderinge where he may gette oughte to the hurte of others. Yet before he skyppeth oute of hys couche and departeth from his darling, if he like her well, he will apoint her where to mete shortlyeafter, withHARMAN. A PRYGGER OF PRAUNCERS.a warninge to worke warely for some chetes, that their meting might be the merier.

¶ Not long sithens, a wild roge chaunced to mete a pore neighbour of mine, who for honestyandgood natur surmounteth many. This poore man, riding homeward from London, where he had made his market, this[leaf 11, back]roge demaunded a peny for gods sake, to kepe him a true man. This simple man, beholding him wel, and sawe he was of taule personage with a good quarter staffe in his hand, it much pitied him, as he sayd, to se him want; for he was well able to serue his prince in the wars. Thus, being moued with pytie, and[77]loked in his pursse to finde out a penye; and in loking for the same, he plucked oute viii. shyllinges in whyte money, and raked therin to finde a single peny; and at the last findinge one, doth offer the same to this wylde roge: but he, seinge so much mony in this simple mans hand, being striken to the hart with a couetous desire, bid him forth wyth delyuer al that he had, or els he woulde with his staffe beat out his braynes. For it was not a penye would now quench his thirst,[78]seing so much as he dyd[78]: thus, swallowinge his spittell gredely downe, spoyled this poore man of althe money that he had, and lept ouer the hedge into a thicke wode, and went his waye as merely as this good simple man came home sorowfully. I once rebuking a wyld roge because he went idelly about, he shewed me that he was a begger by enheritance—his Grandfather was a begger, his father was one, and he must nedes be one by good reason.

A Prigger of Prauncers be horse stealers; for to prigge signifieth in their language to steale,anda Prauncer is a horse: so beinge put together, the matter is[79]playne. These go commonly in Ierkins of leatherr, or of white frese,andcarry litle wands in their hands, and will walke through grounds and pastures, to search and se horses meete for their purpose. And if thei chaunce to be met and asked by the owners of the grounde what they make there, they fayne strayghte that they haue loste their waye, and desyreto be enstructed the beste waye to such a place. These will also repayre to gentlemens houses and aske their charitye, and wyll offer their seruice. And if you aske them what they can do, they wyll saye that they can kepe two or thre Geldinges, and waite vppon a Gentleman. These haue also their women, that walkinge from them in other places, marke where and what they sée abroade, and sheweth these Priggars therof when they meete, which is with in a wéeke or two. And loke, where they steale any thinge, they conuaythe same at the least thre score miles of or more.

¶ There was a Gentleman, a verye friende of myne, rydyng from London homewarde into Kente, hauinge with in thrée myles of his house busynesse, alyghted of his horse, and his man also, in a pretye[leaf 12]vyllage, where diueres houses were, and looked about hym where he myghte haue a conuenient person to walke his horse, because hee would speake witha Farmer that dwelt on the backe side of the sayde village, lytle aboue a quarter of a myle from the place where he lighted, and had his man to waight vpon him, as it was mete for his callinge: espying a Pryggar there standing, thinking the same to dwell there, charging this prity prigginge person to walke his horse well, and that they might not stande styll for takyng of colde, and at his returne (which he saide should not be longe) he would geue hym a peny to drinke, and so wente aboute his busines. This peltynge Priggar, proude of his praye, walkethe his horse[80]vp and downe tyll he sawe the Gentleman out of sighte, and leapes him into the saddell, and awaye he goeth a mayne. This Gentleman returninge, and findinge not his horses, sent his man to the one end of the vyllage, and he went himselfe vnto the other ende, and enquired as he went for his horses that were walked, and began some what to suspecte, because neither he nor his man could se nor find him. Then this Gentleman deligentlye enquired of thre or foure towne dwellers there whether any such person, declaring his stature,[81]age, apparell, with so many linaments of his body as he could call to remembraunce. And, "vna voce," all sayde that no such man dwelt in their streate, neither in the parish, that they knewe of; but some did wel remember that such a one they saw there lyrkinge and huggeringetwo houresHARMAN. A PALLYARD.before the Gentleman came thether, and a straunger to them. "I had thoughte," quoth this Gentleman, "he had here dwelled,"—and marched home manerly in his botes: farre from the place he dwelt not. I suppose at his comming home he sente suche wayes as he suspected or thought méete to searche for this Prigger, but hetherto he neuer harde any tydinges agayne of his palfreys.—I had the best geldinge stolen oute of my pasture that I had amongst others whyle this boke was first a printinge.

THese Palliardes be called also Clapperdogens: these go with patched clokes,andhaue their Morts with them, which they cal wiues; and if he goe to one house, to aske his almes, his wife shall goe to a nother: for what they get (as bread, chéese, malte, and woll) they sell the same for redy money; for so they get more and if they went together. Although they be thus[82]deuided in the daie, yet they mete iompe at night. Yf they chaunce to come to some gentylmans house standinge[leaf 12, back]a lone, and be demaunded whether they be man and wyfe,andif he perceaue that any doubteth thereof, he sheweth them a Testimonial with the ministers name, and others of the same parishe (naminge a parishe in some shere fare distant from the place where he sheweth the same). This writing he carieth to salue that sore. Ther be many Irishe men that goe about with counterfeate licenses; and if they perceiue you wil straytly examen them, they will immediatly saye they can speake no Englishe.

¶ Farther, vnderstand for trouth that the worst and wickedst of all this beastly generation are scarse comparable to these prating Pallyardes. All forthe most parte of these wil either lay to their legs an herb called Sperewort, eyther Arsnicke, which is called Ratesbane. The nature of this Spereworte wyll rayse a great blister in a night vpon the soundest part of his body; and if the same be taken away, it wyl dry vp againe and no harme. But this Arsnicke will so poyson the same legge or sore, that it will euer after be incurable: this do they for gaine and to be pitied. The most of these that walke about be Walchmen.

HARMAN. A FRATER.

SOme of these Fraters will cary blacke boxes at their gyrdel, wher in they haue a briefe of the Queenes maiesties letters patentes, geuen to suche[83]poore spitlehouse for the reliefe ofthe poore there, whiche briefe is a coppie of the letters patentes,andvtterly fained, if it be in paper or in[84]parchment without the great seale. Also, if the same brief be in printe,[85]it is also of auctoritie. For the Printers wil séeandwel vnderstand, before it come in presse, that the same is lawfull. Also, I am credibly informed that the chiefe Proctors of manye of these houses, that seldome trauel abroad themselues, but haue their factors to gather for them, which looke very slenderly to the impotent and miserable creatures committed to their charge,anddie for want of cherishing; wheras theyandtheir wiues are wel crammedandclothed,andwill haue of the best. And the founders of euery such house, or the chiefe of the parishe wher they be, woulde better sée vnto these Proctors, that they might do their duty, they should be wel spoken of here, and in the world to come aboundantly therefore rewarded. I had of late an honest man, and of good wealthe, repayred to my house to common wyth me aboute certeyne affaires. I inuited the same to dinner, and dinner beinge done, I demaunded of hym some newes of these[86]parties were hee dwelte. "Thankes be to God, syr," (saith he); "all is wellandgood now." "Now!" (quoth I) "this same 'nowe'[leaf 13]declareththat some things of late hath not bene wel." "Yes, syr," (quothhe) "the[87]matter is not great. I had thought I should haue bene wel beaten within this seuenth night." "How so?" (quoth I). "Mary, syr," sayd he, "I am Counstable for fault of a better, and was commaunded by the Iusticer to watch. The watch being set, I toke an honest man, one of my neighbors, with me, and went vp to the ende of the towne as far as the spittle house, at which house I heard a great noyse, and, drawing nere, stode close vnder the wall, and this was at one of the clocke after midnight.Where he harde swearinge, pratinge, and wagers laying, and the pot apase walkinge, and xl. pence gaged vpon a matche of wrastling, pitching of the barre, and casting of the sledge. And out they goe, in a fustian fume, into the backe syde, where was a great Axiltrye,[88]and there fell to pitching of the barre, being thre to thre. The Moone dyd shine bright, the Counstable with his neighboure myght see and beholde all that was done. And howe the wyfe of the house was rostinge of a Pyg, whyle her gestes were in their matche. At the laste they coulde not agree vpon a caste, and fell at wordes, and from wordes to blowes. The Counstable with his[89]fellowe runnes vnto them, to parte them, and in the partinge lyckes a drye blowe or two. Then the noyse increased; the Counstable woulde haue had them to[90]the stockes. The wyfe of the house runnes out with her goodman to intreat the Counstable for her gestes, and leaues the Pyg at the fyre alone. In commeth two or thrée of the next neighboures, beinge waked wyth this noise, and into the house they come, and fynde none therein, but the Pygge well rosted, and carieth the same awaye wyth them, spyte and all, with suche breade and drinke also as stoode vpon the table. When the goodman and the goodwyfe of the house hadde intreated and pacified the Counstable, shewinge vnto him that they were Proctors and Factores all of Spyttell houses, and that they taryed there but to breake theyr fast, and woulde ryde awaye immediatelye after, for they had farre to goe, and therefore mente to ryde so earlye. And comminge into their house agayne, fyndinge the Pygge wyth bread and drincke all gonne, made a greate exclamation, for they knewe not who had the same.

¶ The Counstable returning and hearinge the lamentable wordes of the good wyfe, howe she had lost both meate and drinke, and sawe it was so in deede, hée laughed in his sleue, and commaunded her to dresse no more at vnlawfull houres for any gestes. For hée thought it better bestowed vppon those smell feastes his poore neighbouresthen vpponHARMAN. A ABRAHAM MAN.suche sturdye Lubbares. The nexte mornynge betymes the[leaf 13, back]spitte and pottes were sette at the Spittle house doore for the owner. Thus were these Factours begyled of theyr breakefast, and one of them hadde well beaten an other; "And, by my trouth," (quoth thys Counstable) "I was gladde when I was well ryd of them." "Why," quoth I, "coulde the[y] caste the barre and sledge well?" "I wyll tell you, syr," (quoth hée) "you knowe there hath bene manye games this Sommer. I thinke verely, that if some of these Lubbars had bene there, and practysed amongest others, I beleue they woulde haue carryed awaye the beste games. For they were so stronge and sturdye, that I was not able to stande in their handes." "Well" (quoth I) "at these games you speake of, both legges and armes bée tryed." "Yea," quoth this offycer, "they bée wycked men. I haue séene some of them sithens wyth cloutes bounde aboute theyr legges, and haltynge wyth their staffe in their handes. Wherefore some of theym, by GOD, bee nought all."

Back to Index Next