Chapter 12

"This Absolon, thatjolifwas and gay,Gooth with a sencer (censer) on the haliday."(A, 3339.)

"This Absolon, thatjolifwas and gay,Gooth with a sencer (censer) on the haliday."

(A, 3339.)

"Prynne, nowPring, is Anglo-Fr.le prin, the first, from the Old French adjective which survives inprintemps. Cf. our namePrimeand the French namePremier. The Old French adjectiveGent, now replaced bygentil, generally means slender in Mid. English—

"Fair was this yonge wyf, and therwithalAs any wezele hir bodygentand smal."(A, 3233)

"Fair was this yonge wyf, and therwithalAs any wezele hir bodygentand smal."

(A, 3233)

PettyandPettitare variant forms of Fr.petit, small. InProwseandProutwe have the nominative and objective (Chapter I) of an Old French adjective now represented bypreuxandprude, generally thought to be related in some way to Lat.proinprosum, and perhaps also the source of ourProud.

Grossis of course Fr.legros, butGroterepresents Du.groot, great, probably unconnected with the French word. The Devonshire nameCoffin, which is found in that county in the twelfth century, is the same asCaffyn, perhaps representing Fr.Chauvin, bald, the name of the theologian whom we know better in the latinized formCalvin. Here belongs probablyShovel, Fr.Chauvel. We also have the simpleChaffe, Old Fr.chauf(chauve), bald.Gaylard, sometimes made into the imitativeGaylord, is Fr.gaillard, brisk, lively

"Gaillardhe was as goldfynch in the shawe."(A, 4367.)

"Gaillardhe was as goldfynch in the shawe."

(A, 4367.)

COLOUR NAMES

Especially common are colour nicknames, generally due to the complexion, but sometimes to the garb. As we have already seen (Chapter XV),Blackand its variantBlakesometimes mean pale.Blaggis the same word; cf.JaggforJack.Whitehas no doubt been reinforced bywight, valiant

"Oh for one hour of WallacewightOr well-skilled Bruce to rule the fight."(Marmion, vi. 20.)

"Oh for one hour of WallacewightOr well-skilled Bruce to rule the fight."

(Marmion, vi. 20.)

As an epithet applied to the hair we often findHoar;cf.Horlock.Reddis rare, the usual forms being the northernReid,Reed,Read;but we also haveRuddfrom Anglo-Sax.rud, whence ruddy and the nameRuddock, really a bird nickname, the redbreast. To these must be addedRudge, Fr.rouge,Rouse,RushandRuss, Fr,roux, andRussellorRowsell, Old Fr.roussel(Rousseau). The commonest nickname for a fair-haired person wasBlunt,Blount, Fr.blond, with its dim.Blundell, but the true English name isFairfax, from Anglo-Sax.feax, hair. TheNewEnglishDictionaryquotes from the fifteenth century

"Then they lowsyd hurfeyrefaxe,That was yelowe as the waxe."

The adjective dun was once a regular name, like Dobbin or Dapple, for a cart-horse; hence the name of the old rural sport "Dun in the mire"—

"If thou artdunwe'll draw thee from the mire."(RomeoandJuliet,i. 4.)

It is possible that the name Dunn is sometimes due to this specific application of the word. The colour blue appears asBlew–

"At last he rose, and twitch'd his mantleblew:To-morrow to fresh woods and pastures new"(Lycidas, 1. 192)—

"At last he rose, and twitch'd his mantleblew:To-morrow to fresh woods and pastures new"

(Lycidas, 1. 192)—

and earlier still asBlow—

"Blak,blo, grenysh, swartysh, reed."(HouseofFame, iii. 557.)

"Blak,blo, grenysh, swartysh, reed."

(HouseofFame, iii. 557.)

Other colour names of French origin areMorel, swarthy, like a Moor, also found asMurrell[Footnote:This, likeMerrill, is sometimes from Muriel.];andBurnell,Burnett, dims. ofbrun, brown. Chaucer speaks of—

"DaunBurnetthe asse" (B, 4502);

[Footnote:Lat. dominus; the masculine form ofdamein Old French.]

"DaunRusselthe fox" (B, 4524.)

But bothBurnellandBurnettmay also be local from places ending in -hilland -head(), andBurnettis sometimes forBurnard. The same applies toBurrell, usually taken to be from Mid. Eng.borel, a rough material, Old Fr.burel(bureau), also used metaphorically in the sense of plain, uneducated

"And moore we seen of Cristes secree thyngesThanburelfolk, al though they weren kynges."(D, 1871.)

"And moore we seen of Cristes secree thyngesThanburelfolk, al though they weren kynges."

(D, 1871.)

The name can equally well be the local Burhill or Burwell.

Murrayis too common to be referred entirely to the Scottish name and is sometimes formurrey, dark red (Fr.mûre, mulberry). It may also represent merry, in its variant form murie, which is Mid. English, and not, as might appear, Amurrican—

"His murie men comanded heTo make hym bothe game and glee."(B, 2029.)

"His murie men comanded heTo make hym bothe game and glee."

(B, 2029.)

Pook, of uncertain origin, is supposed to have been a dark russet colour.Bayard, a derivative of bay, was the name of several famous war-horses. Cf.BlankandBlanchard. The nameSoaris from the Old French adjectivesor, bright yellow. It is of Germanic origin and cognate withsere.

The dim.Sorrelmaybe a colour name, but it was applied in venery to a buck in the third year, of course in reference to colour; and some of our names, e.g.BrocketandPrickett,[Footnote:Both words are connected with the spiky young horns, Fr.broche, spit, being applied in venery to the pointed horns of the second year.]both applied to a two-year-old stag, must sometimes be referred to this important department of medieval language. Holofernes uses some of these terms in his idiotic verses

"The preyful princess pierc'd and prick'd a pretty pleasingpriket;Some say asore;but not asore, till now madesorewith shooting.The dogs did yell; putltosore, thensoreljumps from thicket."(Love'sLabour'sLost, iv. 2.)

"The preyful princess pierc'd and prick'd a pretty pleasingpriket;Some say asore;but not asore, till now madesorewith shooting.The dogs did yell; putltosore, thensoreljumps from thicket."

(Love'sLabour'sLost, iv. 2.)

A few adjective nicknames of Celtic origin are so common in England that they may be included here. Such are the WelshGough,Goff,Gooch,Gutch, red,GwynnandWynne, white,Lloyd, grey,Sayce, Saxon, foreigner,Vaughan, small, and the GaelicBain,Bean, white,Boyd,Bowie, yellow-haired,Dow,Duff, black,Finn, fair,Glass, grey,Roy,Roe, red. From Cornish comeCoad, old, andCouch,[Footnote:Cognate with WelshGough.]red, whileBeanis the Cornish for small, andTyackemeans a farmer. It is likely that bothBeggandMooreowe something to the Gaelic adjectives for little and big, as in the well-known names of Callum Beg, Edward Waverley's gillie, and McCallum More. The GaelicBeggis cognate with the WelshVaughan. Two other famous Highland nicknames whicharevery familiar in England areCameron, crooked nose, andCampbell, wry mouth. With these may be mentioned the IrishKennedy, ugly head, the name of the father of Brian Boru.

CHAPTER XXIIIBIRDS, BEASTS, AND FISHES

"As I think I have already said, one of Umslopogaas'Zulu names was The Woodpecker."(HAGGARD,AllanQuatermain, ch. vii.)

"As I think I have already said, one of Umslopogaas'Zulu names was The Woodpecker."

(HAGGARD,AllanQuatermain, ch. vii.)

The great majority of nicknames coming under the headings typified byBirdandFowell,Best, andFishorFisk(Scand.) are easily identified. But here, as everywhere in the subject, pitfalls abound. The nameBestitself is an example of a now misleading spelling retained for obvious reasons-—

"First, on the wal was peynted a forest,In which ther dwelleth neither man norbest."(A, 1976.)

"First, on the wal was peynted a forest,In which ther dwelleth neither man norbest."

(A, 1976.)

We do not find exotic animals, nor even the beasts of heraldry, at all frequently.Leppard, leopard, is in some cases for the Ger.Liebhart;andGriffin, when not Welsh, should no doubt be included among inn-signs.Oliphant,i.e. elephant—

"For maystow surmounten thiseolifauntesin gretnesse or weighte of body" (Boece, 782)—

may be a genuine nickname, but Roland's ivory horn was also called by this name, and the surname may go back to some legendary connection of the same kind.Bearis not uncommon, captive bears being familiar to a period in which the title bear-ward is frequently met with.

It is possible thatDrakemay sometimes represent Anglo-Sax.draca, dragon, rather than the bird, but the latter is unmistakable inSheldrick, for sheldrake. As a rule, animal nicknames were taken rather from the domestic species with which the peasantry were familiar and whose habits would readily suggest comparisons, generally disparaging, with those of their neighbours.

BIRDS

Bird names are especially common, and it does not need much imagination to see how readily and naturally a man might be nicknamedHawkefor his fierceness,Crowefrom a gloomy aspect, orNightingalefor the gift of sweet song. Many of these surnames go back to words which are now either obsolete or found only in dialect. The peacock was once thePoe, an early loan from Lat. pavo, or, more fully,Pocock

"A sheaf ofpocokarwes, bright and kene,Under his belt he bar ful thriftily."(A, 104.)

"A sheaf ofpocokarwes, bright and kene,Under his belt he bar ful thriftily."

(A, 104.)

The namePayis another form of the same word.Coe, whenceHedgecoe, is an old name for the jackdaw—

"Cadow, orcoo, or chogh (chough),monedula"(Prompt.Parv.)—

but may also stand for cow, as we find, in defiance of gender and sex, such entries as Robertlecow, Williamlevache. Those birds which have now assumed a font-name, such as Jack daw, Mag pie, of course occur without it as surnames, e.g.DawandPye—

"The thief the chough, and eek the jangelyngpye"(ParliamentofFowls, 305).

The latter has a dim.Pyatt.

Rainbirdis a local name for the green woodpecker, but as an East-Anglian name it is most likely an imitative form of Fr.RimbaudorRaimbaud, identical with Anglo-Sax. Regenbeald.Knottis the name of a bird which frequents the sea-shore and, mindful of Cnut's wisdom, retreats nimbly before the advancing surf—

"Theknotthat called was Canutus' bird of old."(Drayton,Polyolbion, xxv. 368.)

"Theknotthat called was Canutus' bird of old."

(Drayton,Polyolbion, xxv. 368.)

This historical connection is most probably due to folk-etymology.Titmusis of course for tit-mouse. Dialect names for the woodpecker survive inSpeight,Speke, andSpick,Pick(Chapter III). The same bird was also calledwoodwall—

"In many places were nyghtyngales,Alpes, fynches, andwodewales"(RomauntoftheRose, 567)—

"In many places were nyghtyngales,Alpes, fynches, andwodewales"

(RomauntoftheRose, 567)—

hence, in some cases, the nameWoodall. TheAlpe, or bullfinch, mentioned in the above lines, also survives as a surname.DunnockandPinnockare dialect names for the sparrow. It was called in Anglo-Normanmuisson, whenceMusson.Starlingis a dim. of Mid. Eng.stare, which has itself given the surnameStarr

"Thestare, that the counseyl can be-wrye."(Parliament of Fowls,348.)

Heronis the French form of the bird-name which was in EnglishHerne—

"I come from haunts of coot andhern."(Tennyson,TheBrook, 1. 1.)

The Old French dim.heronceaualso passed into English—

"I wol nat tellen of hir strange sewes (courses),Ne of hir swannes, ne of hireheronsewes."(F, 67.)

"I wol nat tellen of hir strange sewes (courses),Ne of hir swannes, ne of hireheronsewes."

(F, 67.)

As a surname it has been assimilated to the local, and partly identical,Hearnshaw(Chapter XII). Some commentators go to this word to explain Hamlet's use ofhandsaw-

"I am but mad north-north-west:when the wind is southerly,I know a hawk from ahandsaw"(Hamlet,ii. 2).

When the author's father was a boy in Suffolk eighty years ago, the local name for the bird was pronounced exactly likeanswer.Grewis Fr.grue, crane, Lat.grus,gru-.Butter, Fr.butor, "a bittor" (Cotgrave), is a dialect name for the bittern, called a "butter-bump" by Tennyson's Northern Farmer (1. 31).Culveris Anglo-Sax.culfre, a pigeon—

"Columba, aculver, a dove"(Cooper)—

"Columba, aculver, a dove"

(Cooper)—

hence the localCulverhouse.Doveoften becomesDuff.Gauntis sometimes a dialect form of gannet, used in Lincolnshire of the crested grebe.Popjoymay have been applied to the successful archer who became king of the popinjay for the year. The derivation of the word, Old Fr.papegai, whence Mid. Eng.papejay—

"The briddes synge, it is no nay,The sparhawk and thepapejay,That joye it was to heere"(B, 1956)—

"The briddes synge, it is no nay,The sparhawk and thepapejay,That joye it was to heere"

(B, 1956)—

is obscure, though various forms of it are found in most of the European languages. In English it was applied not only to the parrot, but also to the green woodpecker. The London Directory form isPobgee.

With bird nicknames may be mentionedCallow, unfledged, cognate with Lat.calvus, bald. Its opposite also survives asFleckandFlick-—

"Flygge,asbyrdis, maturus,volabilis."(Prompt.Parv.)

"Flygge,asbyrdis, maturus,volabilis."

(Prompt.Parv.)

Margaret Paston, writing (1460) of the revived hopes of Henry VI., says—

"Now he and alle his olde felawship put owt their fynnes, and arn ryghtflyggeand mery."

HAWK NAMES

We have naturally a set of names taken from the various species of falcons. To this class belongsHaggard, probably related to Anglo-Sax.haga, hedge, and used of a hawk which had acquired incurable habits of wildness by preying for itself. ButHaggardis also a personal name (Chapter VIII).Spark, earlierSparhawk, is the sparrow-hawk. It is found already in Anglo-Saxon as a personal name, and the fullSparrowhawkalso exists.Tassellis a corruption oftiercel, a name given to the male peregrine, so termed, according to the legendary lore of venery—

"Because he is, commonly, a third part lesse than the female." (Cotgrave, )

Juliet calls Romeo her "tassell gentle" (ii. 2).Muskettwas a name given to the male sparrow-hawk.

"Musket, a lytell hauke,mouchet."(Palsgrave.)

Mushetis the same name. It comes from Ital.moschetto, a little fly. For its later application to a firearm cf.falconet. Other names of the hawk class areBuzzardandPuttock, i.e. kite-—

"Milan, a kite,puttock, glead"(Cotgrave);

"Milan, a kite,puttock, glead"

(Cotgrave);

and to the same bird we owe the nameGleed, from a Scandinavian name for the bird

"And theglede, and the kite, and the vulture after his kind." (Deut. xiv. 13.)

To this class also belongsRamage—

"Ramage, of, or belonging to, branches; also,ramage, hagard, wild, homely, rude"(Cotgrave)—

"Ramage, of, or belonging to, branches; also,ramage, hagard, wild, homely, rude"

(Cotgrave)—

and sometimesLennard, an imitative form of "lanner," the name of an inferior hawk—

Falcunculus, aleonard."(Holyoak, Lat. Dict., 1612.)

Falcunculus, aleonard."

(Holyoak, Lat. Dict., 1612.)

Poveyis a dialect name for the owl, a bird otherwise absent from the surname list.

BEASTS

Among beast nicknames we find special attention given, as in modern vituperation, to the swine, although we do not find this true English word, unless it be occasionally disguised asSwain.Hoggdoes not belong exclusively to this class, as it is used in dialect both of a young sheep and a yearling colt. Anglo-Sax.sugu, sow, survives inSugg.Purcellis Old Fr.pourcel(pourceau), dim. of Lat.porcus, and I takePockettto be a disguised form of the obsoleteporket—

"Porculus, a pygg: a shoote:aporkes."(Cooper.)

"Porculus, a pygg: a shoote:aporkes."

(Cooper.)

The wordshootein the above gloss is now the dialectshot, a young pig, which may have given the surnameShott. ButScuttis from a Mid. English adjective meaning short—

"Scute, or shorte,curtus,brevis"(Prompt.Parv.)—

"Scute, or shorte,curtus,brevis"

(Prompt.Parv.)—

and is also an old name for the hare. Two other names for the pig are the northernGaltand the LincolnshireGrice—

"Marcassin, a young wild boare; a shoot orgrice."(Cotgrave.)

Gricealso representsle gris, the grey; cf.Graceforle gras(Chapter XXII).Baconlooks like a nickname, but is invariably found without the article. As it is common in French, it would appear to be an Old French accusative toBack, going back to GermanicBacco(Chapter XIII).Hinksis Mid. Eng.hengst, a stallion, and is thus identical withHengist(Chapter XX).Stottmeans both a bullock and a nag (Chapter XIX).

Everyone remembers Wamba's sage disquisition on the names of animals in the first chapter ofIvanhoe. Like much of Scott's archaeology it is somewhat anachronistic, for the live animals were also called veals and muttons for centuries after Wamba's death

"Mouton, a mutton, a weather"; "veau, a calfe, or veale." (Cotgrave.)

Calfhas become very rare as a surname, thoughKalbis still common in Germany. Bardsley regardsDuncalfandMetcalfas perverted fromdun-croftandmeadow-croft. It seems possible that they may be fordown-calfandmead-calf, from the locality of the pasture, but this is a pure guess on my part. It is curious thatbeefdoes not appear to have survived, thoughLeboeufis common in French, and bullocks are still called "beeves" in Scotland.Teggis still used by butchers for a two-year-old sheep. Palsgrave gives it another meaning—

"Tegg, or pricket (Chapter XXII),saillant."

Roeis also found in the older formsRaeandRay, of course confused withWray(Chapter XIII), asRoeitself is withRowe(Chapter I).Doeoften becomesDowe.Hindis usually occupative (Chapter III), but Fr.Labichesuggests that it must sometimes be a nickname—

"Biche, ahind; the female of a stagge." (Cotgrave.)

Pollardwas applied to a beast or stag that had lost its horns—

"He has no horns, sir, has he?"No, sir, he's apollard."

(Beaumont and Fletcher,Philaster,v. 4.)

Leverettis certified by the French surnameLevrault. Derivation fromLever, Anglo-Sax.Leofhere, whenceLevers,Leverson, orLeveson, is much less probable, as these Anglo-Saxon names rarely form dims. (Chapter VII).Luttrelis in FrenchLoutrel, perhaps a dim. ofloutre, otter, Lat.lutra. From the medievallutrerorlutrarius, otter hunter, we getLutterer, no doubt confused with the musicalLuter.

WhileCattis fairly common in the eastern counties, Robertus lechienand Willelmuslecurre, who were living about the end of the twelfth century, are now completely disguised asKenandKerr. Modern French has bothLechienand the NormanLequien.[Footnote: Lekain, the name of a famous French actor, has the same origin.]We owe a few other surnames to the friend of man.Kennett, from a Norman dim. ofchien, meant greyhound—

"Kenette, hounde,leporarius." (Prompt.Parv.)

The origin of the nameTalbotis unknown, and it is uncertain whether the hound or the family should have precedence; but Chaucer seems to use it as the proper name of a hound

"Ran Colle our dogge, andTalbot, and Gerland,And Malkyn, with a dystaf in hir hand."(B, 4573.)

"Ran Colle our dogge, andTalbot, and Gerland,And Malkyn, with a dystaf in hir hand."

(B, 4573.)

The great Earl of Shrewsbury is affectionately called "Talbot, our good dogge" in political rimes of the fifteenth century.

In early dictionaries may be found long lists of the fanciful names, such as Bright, Lightfoot, Ranger, Ringwood, Swift, Tempest, given to hounds. This practice seems to throw some light on such surnames asTempest, with which we may compare the German namesStormandSturm. In the Pipe Rolls the nameleesturmi, the stormy, occurs several times. To the same class belongsThunder, found in the Pipe Rolls asTonitruus, and not therefore necessarily a perversion ofTunder,i.e.Sherman(Chapter XVIII)—

"Tondeur de draps, a shearman, or clothworker." (Cotgrave.)

Garland, used by Chaucer as a dog's name, was earliergraland, and, asle garlaundis also found, it may be referred to Old Fr.grailler, to trumpet. It no doubt has other origins.

We should expectFoxto be strongly represented, and we find the compoundsColfoxandStelfox. The first means black fox—

"Acolfoxful of sly iniquitee"(B, 4405)—

"Acolfoxful of sly iniquitee"

(B, 4405)—

and I conjecture that the first part ofStelfoxis connected with stealing, as in the medieval nameStele-cat—

"The two constables made a thorough search and found JohnStelfoxhiding behind some bushes. Some of the jewellery was found upon him"(DailyChronicle, June 3, 1913).

"The two constables made a thorough search and found JohnStelfoxhiding behind some bushes. Some of the jewellery was found upon him"

(DailyChronicle, June 3, 1913).

In the north a fox is calledTod, whenceTodhunter. ThisTodis probably a personal name, like the FrenchRenardand the ScottishLawrieorLowrie, applied to the same animal. Allan Ramsay calls him "slee Tod Lowrie." From the badger we haveBrockand sometimesGray—

Blaireau, a badger,gray, boason,brock(Cotgrave)—

butBadgeritself is occupative (Chapter XIX). The polecat survives asFitch,Fitchett, andFitchew—

"Fissau, afilch, or fulmart."(Cotgrave.)

"Fissau, afilch, or fulmart."

(Cotgrave.)

FISHES

On fish-names Bardsley remarks, "We may quote the famous chapter on 'Snakes in Iceland': 'There are no snakes in Iceland,' and say there are no fish-names in England." This is almost true. The absence of marked traits of character in the, usually invisible, fish would militate against the adoption of such names. We should not expect to find the shark to be represented, for the word is of too late occurrence. ButWhaleis fairly common.Whalethe mariner received two pounds from Henry VII's privy purse in 1498. The story of Jonah, or very generous proportions, may have originated the nameWhalebelly, "borne by a respectable family in south-east England" (Bardsley).

But there would obviously be no great temptation to go fishing for nicknames when the beasts of the farmyard and the forest, the birds of the marshes and the air, offered on every side easily understood comparisons. At the same time Bardsley's statement goes a little too far. He explainsGudgeonas a corruption of Goodison. But this, true though it may be in some cases, will not explain the very common French surnameGoujon. The phrase "greedy gudgeon" suggests that in this case a certain amount of character had been noticed in the fish.Sturgeonalso seems to be a genuine fish-name. We find Fr.Lesturgeonand Ger.Stoer, both meaning the same. We have alsoSmeltand the synonymousSpurling. In French and German we find other surnames which undoubtedly belong to this class, but they are not numerous and probably at first occurred only in regions where fishing or fish-curing were important industries.

A few examples will show that apparent fish-names are usually not genuine.Chubbis for Job (Chapter III),Eelesis one of the numerous derivatives of Elias (Chapter IX),Hakeis, likeHack, from the Scandinavian Hacun,Haddockis sometimes a perversion of the local Haydock,Lampreycomes via Old French from Old High Ger. Landprecht, which has usually givenLambert.

Pikeislocal (Chapter XII),Pilchardis forPilcher(Chapter XVIII),Roachis Fr.Laroche,Salmonis for Salomon, andTurbotis the Anglo-Sax. Thurbeorht, which has also givenTarbut, as Thurgod has givenTargett. But in few of the above examples is the possibility of fish origin absolutely excluded.

SPECIAL FEATURES

We have also many surnames due to physical resemblances not extending beyond one feature.Birdseyemay be sometimes of local origin, fromey, island (Chapter XII), but as a genuine nickname it is as natural as the sobriquet of Hawkeye which Natty Bumppo received from the Hurons. German has the much less pleasingGansauge, goose-eye; and AlanOildelarrun, thief's eye, was fined for very reprehensible conduct in 1183. To explainCrowfootas an imitative variant of Crawford is absurd when we find a dozen German surnames of the same class and formation and as many in Old or Modern French beginning withpiedde. Cf.Pettigrew(Chapter XXI) andSheepshanks. We find in the Paris Directory not onlyPiedeleu(Old Fr.leu, wolf) andPiedoie(oie, goose), but even the fullPied-de-Lièvre, Professeur à la Faculté de droit. The nameBulleidwas spelt in the sixteenth centurybul-hed,i.e. bull-head, a literal rendering of Front de Boeuf.Weatherhead(Chapter XIX) is perhaps usually a nickname

"For that oldweather-headedfool, I know how to laugh at him."(Congreve,LoveforLove, ii. 7.)

"For that oldweather-headedfool, I know how to laugh at him."

(Congreve,LoveforLove, ii. 7.)

Coxheadis another obvious nickname. A careful analysis of some of the most important medieval name-lists would furnish hundreds of further examples, some too outspoken to have survived into our degenerate age, and others which are now so corrupted that their original vigour is quite lost.

Puns and jokes upon proper names are,paceGregory the Great and Shakespeare, usually very inept and stupid; but the following lines by James Smith, which may be new to some of my readers, are really clever—

Men once were surnamed from their shape or estate

(You all may from History worm it);

There was Lewis the Bulky, and Henry the Great,

John Lackland, and Peter the Hermit.

But now, when the door-plates of Misters and Dames

Are read, each so constantly varies

From the owner's trade, figure, and calling, Surnames

Seem given by the rule of contraries.

Mr.Box, though provoked, never doubles his fist,Mr. Burns, in his grate, has no fuel;Mr. Playfairwon't catch me at hazard or whist,Mr.Cowardwas wing'd in a duel.Mr.Wiseis a dunce, Mr.Kingis a whig,Mr. Coffin's uncommonly sprightly,And huge Mr.Littlebroke down in a gig,While driving fat Mrs.Golightly.

Mrs.Drinkwater'sapt to indulge in a dram,Mrs.Angel’s an absolute fury,And meek Mr.Lyonlet fierce Mr.LambTweak his nose in the lobby of Drury.At Bath, where the feeble go more than the stout,(A conduct well worthy of Nero),Over poor Mr.Lightfoot, confined with the gout,Mr.Heavisidedanced a Bolero.

Miss Joy, wretched maid, when she chose Mr.Love,Found nothing but sorrow await her;She now holds in wedlock, as true as a dove,That fondest of mates, Mr.Hayter.Mr.Oldcastledwells in a modern-built hut,MissSageis of madcaps the archest;Of all the queer bachelors Cupid e'er cut,Old Mr. Younghusband's the starchest.

Mr. Child, in a passion, knock'd down Mr.Rock,Mr.Stonelike an aspen-leaf shivers;MissPooleused to dance, but she stands like a stockEver since she became Mrs.Rivers;Mr.Swifthobbles onward, no mortal knows how,He moves as though cords had entwin'd him;Mr.Metcalferan off, upon meeting a cow,With pale Mr.Turnbullbehind him.

Mr.Barker'sas mute as a fish in the sea,Mr.Milesnever moves on a journey;Mr.Gotobedsits up till half-after three,Mr.Makepeacewas bred an attorney.Mr.Gardinercan't tell a flower from a root,Mr.Wildewith timidity draws back,Mr.Ryderperforms all his journeys on foot,Mr.Footeall his journeys on horseback.

Mr.Penny, whose father was rolling in wealth,Kick'd down all his fortune his dad won;Large Mr.LeFever'sthe picture of health,Mr.Goodenoughis but a bad one.Mr.Cruickshankstept into three thousand a year,By showing his leg to an heiress: —Now I hope you'll acknowledge I've made it quite clearThat surnames ever go by contraries.

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PrintedbyHazell,Watson&Viney,Ld.,LondonandAylesbury,England.

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