§ 11. Once more, compare the joys which thou shalt have above, with those foretastes of it which the Spirit hath given thee here. Hath not God sometimes revealed himself extraordinarily to thy soul, and let a drop of glory fall upon it? Hast thou not been ready to say, "O that it might be thus with my soul continually?" Didst thou never cry out with the martyr, after thy long and mournful expectations, "He is come, He is come?" Didst thou never, under a lively sermon of heaven, or in thy retired contemplations on that blessed state, perceive thy drooping spirits revive, and thy dejected heart lift up the head, and the light of heaven dawn on thy soul? Think with thyself, "What is this earnest to the full inheritance? Alas, all this light, that so amazeth and rejoiceth me, is but a candle lighted from heaven, to lead me thither through this world of darkness: If some godly men have been overwhelmed with joy, till they have cried out,Hold, Lord, stay thy hand; I can bear no more: What then will be my joys in heaven, when my soul shall be so capable of seeing and enjoying God, that though the light be ten thousand times greater than the sun, yet my eyes shall be able for ever to behold it?" Or, if thou hast not yet felt these sweet foretastes, (for every believer hath not felt them,) then make use of such delights as thou hast felt, in order the better to discern what thou shalt hereafter feel.
§ 12. (II.) I am now to shew how heavenly contemplation may be preserved from a wandering heart. Our chief work is here to discover the danger, and that will direct to the fittest remedy. The heart will prove the greatest hinderance in this heavenly employment; either, by backwardness to it;—or, by trifling in it;—or, by frequent excursions to other objects;—or, by abruptly ending the work before it is well begun. As you value the comfort of this work, these dangerous evils must be faithfully resisted.
§ 13. (1.) Thou wilt find thy heart as backward to this, I think, as to any work in the world. O what excuses will it make! What evasions will it find out! What delays and demurs, when it is ever so much convinced!either it will question, whether it be a duty or not, or, if it be so to others, whether to thyself. It will tell thee, "This is a work for ministers, that have nothing else to study; or for persons that have more leisure than thou hast." If thou be a minister, it will tell thee, "This is the duty of the people; it is enough for thee to meditate for their instruction, and let them meditate on what they have heard." As if it was thy duty only to cook their meat, and serve it up, and they alone must eat it, digest it, and live upon it. If all this will not do, thy heart will tell thee of other business, or set thee upon some other duty; for it had rather go to any duty than this. Perhaps it will tell thee, "Other duties are greater, and therefore this must give place to them, because thou hast no time for both. Public business is more important; to study and preach for the saving of souls, must be preferred before these private contemplations." As if thou hadst not time to care for thy own salvation, for looking after that of others. Or thy charity to others were so great, that it obliges thee to neglect thy own eternal welfare. Or as if there were any better way to fit us to be useful to others, than making this proof of our doctrine ourselves. Certainly heaven is the best fire to light our candle at, and the best book for a preacher to study; and if we would be persuaded to study that more, the church would be provided with more heavenly lights; and when our studies are divine, and our spirits divine, our preaching will also be divine, and we may be called divines indeed. Or, if thy heart have nothing to say against the work, it will trifle away the time in delays, and promise this day and the next, but still keep off from the business. Or, it will give thee a flat denial, and oppose its own unwillingness to thy reason. All this I speak of the heart, so far as it is still carnal; for I know, so far as it is spiritual, it will judge this the sweetest work in the world.
§ 14. What is now to be done? Wilt thou do it, if I tell thee? Wouldst thou not say in a like case, "What should I do with a servant that will not work? or with a horse that will not travel? Shall I keep them to look at?" Then faithfully deal thus with thy heart; persuadeit to the work; take no denial; chide it for its backwardness; use violence with it. Hast thou no command of thy own thoughts? Is not the subject of thy meditations a matter of choice, especially under this conduct of thy judgment? Surely God gave thee, with thy new nature, some power to govern thy thoughts. Art thou again become a slave to thy depraved nature? Resume thy authority. Call in the Spirit of Christ to thine assistance, who is never backward to so good a work, nor will deny his help in so just a cause. Say to him, "Lord, thou gavest my reason the command of my thoughts and affections; the authority I have received over them is from thee; and now behold, they refuse to obey thine authority: Thou commandest me to set them to the work of heavenly meditation, but they rebel and stubbornly refuse the duty. Wilt thou not assist me to exercise that authority which thou hast given me? O send down thy Spirit, that I may enforce thy commands, and effectually compel them to obey thy will!" Thus thou shalt see thy heart will submit, its resistance be overcome, and its backwardness be turned into cheerful compliance.
§ 15. (2.) Thy heart will also be likely to betray thee by trifling, when it should be effectually meditating. Perhaps, when thou hast an hour for meditation, the time will be spent before thy heart will be serious. This doing of duty, as if we did it not, ruins as many as the omission of it. Here let thine eye be always upon thy heart. Look not so much to the time it spends in the duty, as to the quantity and quality of the work that is done. You can tell by his work, whether a servant hath been diligent. Ask yourself, "What affections have been yet exercised? How much am I yet got nearer to heaven?" Think not, since thy heart is so trifling, it is better to let it alone: for, by this means, thou wilt certainly banish all spiritual obedience; because the best hearts, being but sanctified in part, will resist, so far as they are carnal. But rather consider well the corruption of thy nature; and that its sinful indispositions will not supersede the commands of God; nor one sin excuse for another; and that God has appointedmeans to excite our affections. This self-reasoning, self-considering duty of heavenly meditation, is the most singular means, both to excite and increase love. Therefore stay not from the duty, till thou feelest thy love constrain thee; any more than thou wouldst stay from the fire, till thou feelest thyself warm; but engage in the work, till love is excited, and then love will constrain thee to further duty.
§ 16. (3.) Thy heart will also be making excursions from thy heavenly meditation to other objects. It will be turning aside, like a careless servant, to talk with every one that passeth by. When there should be nothing in thy mind but heaven, it will be thinking of thy calling, or thy afflictions, or of every bird, or tree, or place thou seest. The cure is here the same as before; use watchfulness and violence. Say to thy heart, "What, did I come hither to think of my worldly business, of persons, places, news, or vanity, or of any thing but heaven, be it ever so good?Canst thou not watch one hour?Wouldst thou leave this world, and dwell for ever with Christ in heaven, and not leave it one hour to dwell with Christ in meditation?Is this thy love to thy friend?Dost thou love Christ, and the place of thy eternal, blessed abode, no more than this?" Iftheraveningfowlsof wandering thoughts devour the meditations intended for heaven, they devour the life and joy of thy thoughts: Thereforedrive them awayfrom thy sacrifice, and strictly keep thy heart to the work.
§ 17. (4.) Abruptly ending thy meditation before it is well begun, is another way in which thy heart will deceive thee. Thou mayest easily perceive this in other duties. In secret prayer, is not thy heart urging thee to cut it short, and frequently making a motion to have done? So in heavenly contemplation, thy heart will be weary of the work, and will stop thy heavenly walk before thou art well warm. But charge it in the name of God to stay, and not do so great a work by halves. Say to it, "Foolish heart! if thou beg a while, and goest away before thou hast thy alms, is not thy begging a lost labor? If thou stoppest before the end of thy journey, is not thy travel lost? Thou camest hither inhope to have a sight of the glory which thou must inherit; and wilt thou stop when thou art almost at the top of the hill, and turn back before thou hast taken thy survey? Thou camest hither in hope to speak with God, and wilt thou go before thou hast seen him? Thou camest to bathe thyself in the streams of consolation, and to that end didst unclothe thyself of thy earthly thoughts, and wilt thou only touch the bank and return? Thou camest tospy out the land of promise; go not back withoutone cluster of grapes, to shew thy brethrenfor their encouragement. Let them see that thou hast tasted of the wine, by the gladness of thy heart; and that thou hast been anointed with the oil, by the cheerfulness of thy countenance: and hast fed of the milk and honey, by the mildness of thy disposition, and the sweetness of thy conversation. This heavenly fire would melt thy frozen heart, and refine and spiritualize it; but it must have time to operate." Thus pursue the work till something be done, till thy graces be in exercise, thy affections raised, and thy soul refreshed with the delights above; or if thou canst not obtain these ends at once, be the more earnest at another time.Blessed is that servant, whom his Lord, when he cometh, shall find so doing.
§ 1. The reader's attention excited to the following example of meditation. § 2. "The excellencies of heavenly rest. § 3. Its nearness, § 4. Dreadful to sinners § 5. And joyful to saints; § 6. Its dear purchase; § 7. Its difference from earth. § 8. The heart pleaded with. § 9. Unbelief banished. § 10. A careless world pitied. § 11-13. Heavenly rest the object of love, § 14-21. And joy. § 22. The heart's backwardness to heavenly joy lamented. § 23-27. Heavenly rest the object of desire." § 28. Such meditations as this urged upon the reader: § 29. The mischief of neglecting it: § 30. The happiness of pursuing it. § 31. The Author's concluding prayer for the success of his work.
§ 1. Andnow reader, according to the above directions, make conscience of daily exercising thy graces in meditation, as well as prayer: Retire into some secret place, at a time the most convenient to thyself, and laying aside all worldly thoughts, with all possible seriousness and reverence, look up toward heaven, remember there is thine everlasting rest, study its excellency and reality, and rise from sense to faith, by comparing heavenly with earthly joys: Then mix ejaculations with thy soliloquies; till having pleaded the case reverently with God, and seriously with thy own heart, thou hast pleaded thyself from a clod to a flame, from a forgetful sinner, and a lover of the world, to an ardent lover of God, from a fearful coward, to a resolved Christian, from an unfruitful sadness, to a joyful life: In a word, till thou hast pleaded thy heart from earth to heaven, from conversing below to walking with God; and till thou canst lay thy heart to rest, as in the bosom of Christ, by some such meditation of thy everlasting rest as is here added for thy assistance.
§ 2. "Rest! How sweet the sound! It is melody to my ears! It lies as a reviving cordial at my heart, and from thence sends forth lively spirits, which beat through all the pulses of my soul! Rest,—not as the stone thatrests on the earth, nor as the flesh shall rest in the grave, nor such a rest as the carnal world desires. O blessed rest! When werest not day and night, saying, Holy, holy, holy Lord God Almighty! When we shall rest from sin, but not from worship; from suffering and sorrow, but not from joy! O blessed day! When I shall rest with God! When I shall rest in the bosom of my Lord! When I shall rest in knowing, loving, rejoicing, and praising! When my perfect soul and body shall together perfectly enjoy the most perfect God! When God,who is loveitself, shall perfectly love me, andrest in his loveto me, as I shall rest in my love to him; andrejoice over me with joy, andjoy over me with singing, as I shall rejoice in him!
§ 3. "How near is that most blessed, joyful day! It comes apace.He that shall come, will come, and will not tarry.Thoughmy Lordseems todelay his coming, yeta little whileand he will be here. What is a few hundred years, when they are over? How surely willhis sign appear? How suddenly will he seize upon the careless world, evenas the lightning cometh out of the east, and shineth unto the west? He who is gone henceshall so come. Methinks I hear histrumpet sound! Methinks Isee him coming with clouds; with his attending angels in majesty and glory!
§ 4. "O secure sinners! What now will you do? Where will youhide yourselves? What shallcoveryou?mountainsare gone;the heavens and the earth, which were, arepassed away; the devouring fire hath consumed all, except yourselves, who must be the fuel for ever. O that all could consume as soon as the earth; andmeltaway as didthe heavens! Ah, these wishes are now but vain! The Lamb himself would have been your friend; he would have loved you, and ruled you, and now have saved you; but you would notthen, andnowit is too late. Never cryLord, Lord; too late, too late, man. Why dost thou look about? Can any save thee? Whither dost thou run? Can any hide thee? O wretch, that hast brought thyself to this!
§ 5. "Now, blessed saints, that have believed and obeyed! This is the end of faith and patience. This is itfor which you prayed and waited. Do you now repent your sufferings and sorrows, your self-denying and holy walking? Are your tears of repentance now bitter or sweet! See how the Judge smiles upon you; there is love in his looks; the titles ofRedeemer,Husband,Head, are written in his amiable, shining face. Hark, he calls you, he bids you stand hereon his right-hand; fear not, for therehe sets his sheep. O joyful sentence!Come, ye blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world.He takes you by the hand, the door is open, the kingdom is his, and therefore yours; there is your place before his throne; the father receives you as the spouse of his Son, and bids you welcome to the crown of glory. Ever so unworthy, you must be crowned. This was the project of free redeeming grace, the purpose of eternal love. O blessed grace! O blessed love! O how love and joy will rise! but I cannot express it, I cannot conceive it.
§ 6. "This is that joy which was produced by sorrow, that crown which was procured by the cross. My Lordwept, that now mytears might be wiped away; He bled, that I might now rejoice; he wasforsaken, that I might not now be forsook; he thendied, that I mightnowlive. O free mercy, that can exalt so vile a wretch! Free to me though dear to Christ! Free grace, that hath chosen me, when thousands were forsaken! When my companions in sin must burn in hell, I must here rejoice in rest! Here must I live with all these saints! O comfortable meeting of my old acquaintance, with whom I prayed, and wept and suffered, andspoke oftenof this day and place! I see the grave could not detain you; the same love hath redeemed and saved you also.
§ 7. "This is not like our cottages of clay, our prisons, our earthly dwellings. This voice of joy is not like our old complaints, our impatient groans and sighs; nor this melodious praise like the scoffs and revilings, or the oaths and curses, which we heard on earth. This body is not like that we had, nor this soul like the soul we had, nor this life like the life we lived. We have changed our place and state, our clothes and thoughts, our looks,language, and company. Before, a saint was weak and despised; so proud and peevish, we could often scarce discern his graces: but now how glorious a thing is a saint! Where is now their body of sin, which wearied themselves and those about them? Where are now our different judgments, reproachful names, divided spirits, exasperated passions, strange looks, uncharitable censures? Now we are all of onejudgment, of onename, of oneheart,house, andglory. O sweet reconciliation! Happy union! Now the gospel shall no more be dishonored through our folly. No more, my soul, shalt thou lament the sufferings of the saints, or the church's ruins, nor mourn thy suffering friends, nor weep over their dying beds, or their graves. Thou shalt never suffer thy old temptations from Satan, the world, or thy own flesh. Thy pains and sicknesses are all cured; thy body shall no more burden thee with weakness and weariness; thy aching head and heart, thy hunger and thirst, thy sleep and labor, are all gone. O what a mighty change is this! From the dunghill, to the throne! from persecuting sinners, to praising saints! From avile body, to this whichshines as the brightness of the firmament! From a sense of God's displeasure, to the perfect enjoyment of him in love! From all my doubts and fears, to this possession, which puts me out of doubt! From all my fearful thoughts of death, to this joyful life! Blessed change! Farewell, sin, and sorrow, for ever: Farewell, my rocky, proud, unbelieving heart; my worldly, sensual, carnal heart: And welcome now my most holy, heavenly nature. Farewell, repentance, faith, and hope; and welcome, love, and joy, and praise. I shall now have my harvest, without ploughing or sowing; my joy without a preacher, or a promise; even all from the face of God himself. Whatever mixture is in the streams, there is nothing but pure joy in the Fountain. Here shall I be encircled with eternity and ever live, and ever, ever praise the Lord. My face will not wrinkle, nor my hair be grey;for this corruptibleshall haveput on incorruption, and this mortal immortality, anddeathshall beswallowed up in victory. O death, where isnowthy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?The date of my lease will no moreexpire, nor shall I trouble myself with thoughts of death, nor lose my joys through fear of losing them. When millions of ages are passed, my glory is but beginning; and when millions more are passed, it is no nearer ending. Every day is all noon, every month is harvest, every year is a jubilee, even age is full manhood, and all this is one eternity. O blessed eternity! The glory of my glory! the perfection of my perfection!
§ 8. "Ah drowsy, earthly heart! How coldly dost thou think of this reviving day? Hadst thou rather sit down in dirt, than walk in the palace of God? Art thou now remembering thy worldly business, or thinking of thy lusts, earthly delights and merry company? Is it better to be here, than above with God? Is the company better? Are the pleasures greater? Come away; make no excuse, nor delay; God commands, and I command thee; gird up thy loins; ascend the mount; look about thee with faith and seriousness. Look not back upon the way of the wilderness; except it be to compare the kingdom with that howling desert, more sensibly to perceive the wide difference. Yonder is thy Father's glory; yonder, O my soul! must thou remove, when thou departest from this body; and when the power of thy Lord hath raised it again, and joined thee to it, yonder must thou live with God for ever. There is the glorious new Jerusalem, the gates of pearl, the foundations of pearl, the streets and pavement of transparent gold. That sun, which lighteth all this world, will be useless there; even thyself shall be as bright as yonder shining sun; God will be the sun, and Christ the light, and in his light shalt thou have light.
§ 9. "O my soul! dost thoustagger at the promise of God through unbelief? I much suspect thee, didst thou believe indeed thou wouldst be more affected with it. Is it not under the hand, and seal, and oath of God? Can God lie? Can he that is truth itself be false? What need hath God to flatter or deceive thee? Why should he promise thee more than he will perform? Dare not to charge the wise, almighty, faithful God with this. How many of the promises have been performed to thee in thy conversion? Would God so powerfully concur witha feigned word? O wretched heart of unbelief? Hath God made thee a promise of rest, and wilt thou come short of it? Thine eyes, thy ears, and all thy senses, may prove delusions, sooner than a promise of God can delude thee. Thou mayest be surer of that which is written in the word, than if thou see it with thine eyes, or feel it with thine hands. Art thou sure thou art alive, or that this is earth thou standest on, or that thine eyes see the sun? As sure is all this glory to the saints; as sure shall I be higher than yonder stars, and live for ever in theholy city, and joyfully sound forth the praise of my Redeemer; if I be not shut out by thisevil heart of unbelief, causing me todepart from the living God.
§ 10. "And is this rest so sweet, and so sure? Then what means the careless world? Know they what they neglect? Did they ever hear of it, or are they yet asleep, or are they dead? Do they certainly know that the crown is before them, while they thus sit still or follow trifles? Undoubtedly they are beside themselves, to mind so much their provision by the way, when they are hasting so fast to another world, and their eternal happiness lies at stake. Were there left one spark of reason, they would never sell their rest for toil, nor their glory for worldly vanities, nor venture heaven for sinful pleasure. Poor men! O that you would once consider what you hazard, and then you would scorn these tempting baits! Blessed for ever be that love, which hath rescued me from this bewitching darkness!
§ 11. "Draw yet nearer, O my soul! with thy most fervent love. Here is matter for it to work upon, something worth thy loving. O see what beauty presents itself! Is not all the beauty in the world united here? Is not all other beauty but deformity? Dost thou now need to be persuaded to love? Here is a feast for thine eyes, and all the powers of thy soul; dost thou need entreaties to feed upon it? Canst thou love a little shining earth, a walking piece of clay? And canst thou not love that God, that Christ, that glory, which is so truly and unmeasurably lovely? Thou canst love thy friend, because he loves thee; and is the love of a friend like thelove of Christ? Their weeping or bleeding for thee, do not ease thee, nor stay the course of thy tears or blood: But the tears and blood that fell from thy Lord, have a sovereign healing virtue. O my soul! if lovedeserves, and should beget love, what incomprehensible love is here before thee? Pour out all the store of thy affections here, and all is too little. O that it were more; O that it were many thousand times more! Let him be first served, that served thee first. Let him have the first-born, and strength of thy soul! who parted with strength and life in love for thee. O my soul! Dost thou love for excellency? Yonder is the region of light; this is a land of darkness. Yonder twinkling stars, that shining moon, and radiant sun, are all but lanthorns hung out of thy Father's house, to light thee while thou walkest in this dark world: But how little dost thou know the glory and blessedness that is within?—Dost thou love for suitableness? What person more suitable than Christ? His godhead and humanity, his fulness and freeness, his willingness and constancy, all proclaim him thy suitable friend. What state more suitable to thy misery, than mercy? Or to thy sin and pollution, than honor and perfection? What place more suitable to thee than heaven? Does this world agree with thy desires; hast thou not a sufficient trial of it?—Or dost thou love for interest and near relation? Where hast thou better interest than in heaven, or nearer relation than there?
§ 12. "Dost thou love for acquaintance and familiarity? Though thine eyes have never seen thy Lord, yet thou hast heard his voice, received his benefits, and lived in his bosom; He taught thee to know thyself and him; he opened thee that first window through which thou sawest into heaven. Hast thou forgotten since thy heart was careless, and he awakened it; hard, and he softened it; stubborn, and he made it yield; at peace, and he troubled it; whole, and he broke it; and broken, till he healed it again? Hast thou forgotten the times when he found thee in tears; when he heard thy secret sighs and groans, and left all to come and comfort thee; when he took thee, as it were, in his arms, and asked thee, poor soul, what ails thee? Dost thou weep, when I have weptso much? Be of good cheer; thy wounds are saving, and not deadly; It is I have made them, who mean thee no hurt; though I let out thy blood, I will not let out thy life." I remember his voice. How gently did he take me up? How carefully did he dress my wounds? Methinks I hear him still saying to me, "poor sinner, though thou hast dealt unkindly with me, and cast me off; yet I will not do so by thee. Though thou hast set light by me and all my mercies, yet they and myself are all thine. What wouldst thou have that I can give thee? And what dost thou want that I cannot give thee? If any thing I have will pleasure thee, thou shalt have it. Wouldst thou have pardon? I freely forgive thee all thy debt. Wouldst thou have grace and peace? Thou shalt have them both. Wouldst thou have myself? Behold I am thine, thy Friend, thy Lord, thy Brother, Husband, and Head. Wouldst thou have the Father? I will bring thee to him, and thou shalt have him, in and by me." These were my Lord's reviving words. After all, when I was doubtful of his love, methinks I yet remember his overcoming arguments. "Have I done so much, sinner, to testify my love, and yet dost thou doubt? Have I offered thee myself and love so long and yet dost thou question my willingness to be thine? At what dearer rate should I tell thee that I love thee? Wilt thou not believe my bitter passion proceeded from love? Have I made myself in the gospel a lion to thine enemies, and a lamb to thee, and dost thou overlook my lamb-like nature? Had I been willing to let thee perish, what need I have done and suffered so much? What need I follow thee with such patience and importunity? Why dost thou tell me of thy wants; have I not enough for me and thee? Or of thy unworthiness; for if thou wast thyself worthy, what shouldst thou do with my worthiness? Did I ever invite, or save, the worthy and the righteous; or is there any such upon earth? Hast thou nothing; art thou lost and miserable, helpless and forlorn? Dost thou believe I am an all-sufficient Savior, and wouldst thou have me? Lo, I am thine, take me; if thou art willing, I am; and neither sin, nor Satan, shallbreak the match." These, O these, were the blessed words which his Spirit from his gospel spoke unto me, till he made me cast myself at his feet, and cry out, "My Savior, and my Lord, thou hast broke, thou hast revived my heart; thou hast overcome, thou hast won my heart; take it, it is thine; if such a heart can please thee, take it; if it cannot, make it such as thou wouldst have it." Thus, O my soul! Mayest thou remember the sweet familiarity thou hast had with Christ; therefore, if acquaintance will cause affection, let out thy heart unto him. It is he hath stood by thy bed of sickness, hath eased thy pains, refreshed thy weariness, and removed thy fears. He hath been always ready, when thou hast earnestly sought him? hath met thee in public and private; hath been found of thee in the congregation, in thy house, in thy closet, in the field, in thy waking nights, in thy deepest dangers.
§ 13. "If bounty and compassion be an attractive of love, how unmeasurably then am I bound to love him? All the mercies that have filled up my life, all the places that ever I abode in, all the societies and persons I have been conversant with, all my employments and relations, every condition I have been in, and every change I have passed through, all tell me, that the fountain isoverflowing goodness. Lord what a sum of Love am I indebted to thee? And how does my debt continually increase? How should I love again for so much love? But shall I dare to think of requiting thee, or of recompensing all thy love with mine? Will my mite requite thee for thy golden mines; my seldom wishes, for thy constant bounty, mine which is nothing, or not mine, for thine which is infinite and thine own? Shall I dare to contend in love with thee? or set my borrowed languid spark against the Sun of love? Can I love as high, as deep, as broad, as long, as Love itself; as much as he that made me, and that made me love, and gave me all that little which I have? As I cannot match thee in the works of power, nor make, nor preserve, nor rule the worlds; no more can I match thee in love. No, Lord, I yield; I am overcome. O blessed conquest! Go on victoriously, andstill prevail, and triumph in thy love. The captive of love shall proclaim thy victory! when thou leadest me in triumph from earth to heaven, from death to life, from the tribunal to the throne; myself, and all that see it, shall acknowledge thou hast prevailed, and all shall say,behold how he loved him! Yet let me love in subjection to thy love; as thy redeemed captive, though not thy peer. Shall I not love at all, because I cannot reach thy measure? O that I could feelingly say,I love thee, even as I love my friend, and myself! Though I cannot say, as the Apostle,Thou knowest that I love thee; yet I can say, Lord, thou knowest that I would love thee; I am angry with my heart, that it doth not love thee; I chide it, yet it doth not mend; I reason with it, and would fain persuade it, yet I do not perceive it stir; I rub and chafe it in the use of thy ordinances, and yet I feel it not warm within me. Unworthy soul! Is not thine eye now upon the only lovely object? Art thou not beholding the ravishing glory of the saints? And dost thou not love? Art thou not a rational soul, and should not reason tell thee, that earth is a dungeon to the celestial glory? Art thou not thyself a spirit, and shouldst thou not love God,who is a spirit, and the Father of spirits? Why dost thou love so much thy perishing clay, and love no more the heavenly glory? Shalt thou love when thou comest there; when the Lord shall take thy carcase from the grave, and make thee shine as the sun in glory for ever and ever; shalt thou then love, or shalt thou not? Is not the place a meeting of lovers? Is not the life a state of love? Is it not the great marriage day of the Lamb? Is not the employment there the work of love, where the souls with Christ take their fill? O then, my soul, begin it here!Be sick of lovenow, that thou mayest be well with love there.Keep thyself now in the love of God; and letneither life, nor death, nor any thing separate thee from it; and thou shalt be kept in the fulness of love for ever, and nothing shall embitter or abate thy pleasure; for the Lord hath prepared a city of love, a place for communicating love to his chosen,and they that love his name shall dwell therein.
§ 14. "Awake then, O my drowsy soul! To sleep under the light of grace is unreasonable, much more in the approach of the light of glory. Come forth, my dull congealed spirit, thy Lord bids theerejoice and again rejoice. Thou hast lain long enough in thy prison of flesh, where Satan hath been thy jailor, cares have been thy irons, fears thy scourges, and thy food the bread and water of affliction: where sorrows have been thy lodging, and thy sins and foes have made the bed, and an unbelieving heart hath been the gates and bars that have kept thee in: The angel of the covenant now calls thee, and strikes thee, and bids thee,arise and follow him. Up, O my soul! and cheerfully obey, and thy bolts and bars shall all fly open;follow the Lamb whithersoever he goeth. Shouldst thou fear to follow such a guide? Can the sun lead thee to a state of darkness? Will he lead thee to death, who died to save thee from it? Follow him, and he will shew theethe paradise of God; He will give thee a sight of theNew Jerusalem, and a taste ofthe tree of life. Come forth, my drooping soul, and lay aside thy winter-dress; let it be seen by thygarments of joy and praise, that the spring is come, and as thou now seest thy comforts green; thou shalt shortly see themwhite and ripe for harvest, and then thou shalt be called to reap, and gather, and take possession. Should I suspend and delay my joys till then? Should not the joys of the spring go before the joys of harvest? Is title nothing before possession? Is the heir in no better a state than a slave? My Lord hath taught me torejoiceinhope of his glory; and how to see it through the bars of a prison; forwhen I am persecuted for righteousness' sake, he commands me torejoice, and be exceeding glad, becausemy reward in heaven is great. I know he would have my joys exceed my sorrows; and as much as he delights in the humble and contrite he yet more delights in the soul thatdelights in him. Hath my Lord spread me a table in this wilderness, and furnished it with the promises of everlasting glory, and set before me angels' food? Doth he frequently and importunately invite me to sit down, and feed, and spare not? Hath he, to that end, furnished me with reason,and faith, and a joyful disposition; and is it possible that he should be unwilling to have me rejoice? Is it not his command, todelight thyself in the Lord; and his promise, togive thee the desires of thine heart? Art thou not charged, torejoice evermore: yea, tosing aloud, and shout, for joy? Why should I then be discouraged? My God is willing, if I were but willing. He is delighted in my delights. He would have it my constant frame, and daily business, to be near him in my believing meditations, and to live in the sweetest thoughts of his goodness. O blessed employment, fit for the sons of God! But thy feast, my Lord, is nothing to me without an appetite: Thou hast set the dainties of heaven before me; but, alas! I am blind, and cannot see them; I am sick, and cannot relish them; I am so benumbed, that I cannot put forth a hand to take them. I therefore humbly beg this grace, that as thou hast opened heaven to me in thy word, so thou wouldstopen mine eyes to seeit, and my heart to delight in it; else heaven will be no heaven to me. O thou Spirit of life, breathe upon thy graces in me; take me by the hand, and lift me from earth, that I may see what glorythou hast prepared for them that love thee!
§ 15. "Away then, ye soul-tormenting cares and fears, ye heart-vexing sorrows: At least forbear a little while; stand by; stay here below, till I go up, and see my rest. The way is strange to me, but not to Christ. There was the eternal abode of his glorious Deity; and thither hath he also brought his glorified flesh. It was his work to purchase it; it is his to prepare it, and prepare me for it, and bring me to it. The eternal God of truth hath given me his promise, his seal, and oath,that, believing in Christ, I shall not perish, but have everlasting life. Thither shall my soul be speedily removed, and my body very shortly follow. And can my tongue say, that I shall shortly and surely live with God; and yet my heart not leap within me? Can I say it with faith, and not with joy! Ah! faith, how sensibly do I now perceive thy weakness! But though unbelief darken my light, and dull my life, and suppress my joys, it shall not be able to conquer, and destroy me; thoughit envy all my comforts, yet some in spite of it I shall even here receive; and if that did not hinder, what abundance might I have? The light of heaven would shine into my heart; and I might be almost as familiar there, as I am on earth. Come away then, my soul; stop thine ears to the ignorant language of infidelity; thou art able to answer all its arguments; or if thou art not, yet tread them under thy feet. Come away; stand not looking on that grave, nor turning those bones, nor reading thy lesson now in the dust; those lines will soon be wiped out. But lift up thy head, and look to heaven, and see thy name in golden letters,written before the foundation of the world, in the book of life of the Lamb that was slain. What if an angel should tell thee, that there is a mansion in heaven prepared for thee, that it shall certainly be thine for ever, would not such a message make thee glad? And dost thou make light of the infallible word of promise, which was delivered by the Spirit, and even by the Son himself? Suppose thou hadst seen afiery chariotcome for thee, and fetch thee up to heaven, like Elijah; would not this rejoice thee? But thy Lord assures thee, that the soul of a Lazarus hath a convoy ofangelstocarryitinto Abraham's bosom. Shall a drunkard be so merry among his cups, or the glutton in his delicious fare, and shall not I rejoice who must shortly be in heaven? Can meat and drink delight me when I hunger and thirst; can I find pleasure in walks and gardens, and convenient dwellings; can beautiful objects delight mine eyes; or grateful odors my smell; or melody my ears: and shall not the forethought of celestial bliss delight me? Methinks among my books I could employ myself in sweet content, and bid the world farewell, and pity the rich and great that know not this happiness; what then will my happiness in heaven be, where my knowledge will be perfect? Ifthe Queen of Sheba came from the utmost parts of the earth to hear the wisdom of Solomon, and see his glory; how cheerfully should I pass from earth to heaven, to see the glory of the eternal Majesty, and attain the height of wisdom; compared with which the most learned on earth are but fools and ideots? What if God had made mecommander of the earth; what if I couldremove mountains,heal diseases with a word or a touch, orcast out Devils; should I not rejoice in such privileges and honors as these; and shall I not much morerejoice thatmy name is written in heaven? I cannot here enjoy my parents, or my near and beloved friends, without some delight; especially when I did freely let out my affection to my friend, how sweet was that exercise of my love! O what will it then be to live in the perpetual love of God!For brethren to dwell together in unityhere,how good and how pleasant is it! To see a family live in love, husband and wife, parents, children, and servants, doing all in love to one another; to see a town live together in love, without any envyings, brawlings or contentions, law-suits, factions, or divisions, but every man loving his neighbor as himself, thinking they can never do too much for one another, but striving to go beyond each other in love; how happy, how delightful a sight is this! O then, what a blessed society will the family of heaven be, and those peaceful inhabitants of the New Jerusalem, where there is no division, nor differing judgments, no disaffection nor strangeness, no deceitful friendship, no, not one unkind expression, nor any angry look or thought; butall are one in Christ, who is one with the Father, and all live in the love of him, who is love itself! The soul is not more where it lives, than where it loves. How near then will my soul be united to God, when I shall so heartily, strongly, and incessantly love him! Ah, wretched, unbelieving heart, that can think of such a day, and work, and life as this, with such low and feeble joys! But my future enjoying joys will be more lively!
§ 16. "How delightful is it to me to behold and study these inferior works of creation? What a beautiful fabric do we here dwell in; the floor so dressed with herbs, and flowers, and trees, and watered with springs and rivers; the roof so wide expanded, so admirably adorned! What wonders do sun, moon, and stars, seas, and winds, contain! And hath God prepared such a house for corruptible flesh, for a soul imprisoned; and doth he bestow so many millions of wonders upon his enemies! O whata dwelling must that be, which he prepares for his dearly beloved children; and how will the glory of the new Jerusalem exceed all the present glory of the creatures? Arise then, O my soul, in thy contemplation; and let thy thoughts of that glory as far exceed in sweetness thy thoughts of the excellencies below! Fear not to go out of this body, and this world, when thou must make so happy a change; but say, as one did when he was dying, I am glad, and even leap for joy, that the time is come in which that mighty JEHOVAH, whose Majesty, in my search of nature I have admired, whose goodness I have adored, whom by faith I have desired and panted after, will now shew himself to me face to face.
§ 17. "How wonderful also are the works of Providence? How delightful to see the great God interest himself in the safety and advancement of a few humble, praying, but despised persons; and to review those special mercies with which my own life hath been adorned and sweetened? How often have my prayers been heard, my tears regarded, my troubled soul relieved? How often hath my Lord bid mebe of good cheer? What a support are these experiences, these clear testimonies of my Father's love, to my fearful unbelieving heart? O then, what a blessed day will that be, when I shall have all mercy, perfection of mercy, and fully enjoy the Lord of mercy; when I shall stand on the shore, and look back on the raging seas I have safely passed; when I shall review my pains and sorrows, my fears and tears, and possess the glory which was the end of all? If one drop of lively faith was mixed with these considerations, what a heaven-ravishing heart should I carry within me? Fain wouldI believe; Lord, help my unbelief.
§ 18. "How sweet, O my soul, have ordinances been to thee? What delight hast thou had in prayer, and thanksgiving, under heavenly sermons, and in the society of saints, and to seethe Lord adding to the church such as should be saved? How can my heart then conceive the joy, which I shall have to see the perfected church in heaven, and to be admitted into the celestial temple, and with the heavenly host praise the Lord forever? If theword of Godwas sweeter to Job thanhis necessary food;and to David,than honey and the honey-comb; andwas the joy and rejoicing of Jeremiah's heart; how blessed a day will that be, when we fully enjoy the Lord of this word, and shall no more need these written precepts and promises, nor read any book but the face of the glorious God? If they that heard Christ speak on earth,were astonished at his wisdom and answers, andwondered at the gracious words which proceeded out of his mouth; how shall I then be affected to behold him in his majesty?
§ 19. "Can the prospect of this glory make otherswelcome the cross, and even refuse deliverance; and cannot it make thee cheerful under lesser sufferings? Can it sweeten the flames of martyrdom; and not sweeten thy life, or thy sickness, or thy natural death? Is it not the same heaven which they and I must live in? Is not their God, their Christ, their crown, and mine the same? And shall I look upon it with an eye so dim, a heart so dull, a countenance so dejected? Some small foretastes of it have I myself had; and how much more delightful have they been, than any earthly things ever were; and what then will the full enjoyment be?
§ 20. "What a beauty is there here in the imperfect graces of the Spirit? Alas! how small are these, to what we shall enjoy in our perfect state? What a happy life should I here live, could I but love God as much as I would; could I be all love, and always loving? O my soul! what wouldst thou give for such a life? had I such apprehensions of God, such knowledge of his word as I desire? could I fully trust him in all my straits; could I be as lively as I would in every duty; could I make God my constant desire and delight; I would not envy the world their honors or pleasures. What a blessed state, O my soul! wilt thou shortly be in, when thou shalt have far more of these than thou canst now desire, and shalt exercise thy perfected graces in the immediate vision of God, and not in the dark, and at a distance, as now?
§ 21. "Is the sinning, afflicted, persecuted church of Christ, so much more excellent than any particular gracious soul? What then will the church be, when it isfully gathered and glorified; when it is ascended from the valley of tears to mount Sion; when it shall sin and suffer no more! The glory of the old Jerusalem will be darkness and deformity to the glory of thenew. What cause shall we have then to shout for joy, when we shall see how glorious the heavenly temple is, and remember the meanness of the church on earth?"
[N. B.If this Chapter seems too long to be read at once, it may be properly divided here.]
§ 22. "But alas! what a loss am I at in the midst of my contemplations? I thought my heart had all the while attended, but I see it doth not. What life is there in empty thoughts and words, without affections? Neither God, nor I, find pleasure in them. Where hast thou been, unworthy heart, while I was opening to thee the everlasting treasures? Art thou not ashamed to complain so much of an uncomfortable life, and to murmur at God for filling thee with sorrows; when he in vain offers thee the delights of angels? Hadst thou now but followed me close, it would have made thee revive and leap for joy, and forget thy pains and sorrows. Did I think my heart had been so backward to rejoice?
§ 23. "Lord, thou hast reserved my perfect joys for heaven: therefore, help me to desire till I may possess, and let me long when I cannot, as I would rejoice. O my soul, thou knowest to thy sorrow, that thou art not yet at thy rest. When shall I arrive at that safe and quiet harbor, where there are none of these storms, waves, and dangers; when I shall never more have a weary restless night or day! Then my life will not be such a mixture of hope and fear, of joy and sorrow; nor shall flesh and spirit be combatting within me; nor faith and unbelief, humility and pride, maintain a continual conflict. O when shall I be past these soul-tormenting fears, and cares, and griefs? When shall I be out of this soul-contradicting, ensnaring, deceitful flesh; this corruptible body, this vain, vexatious world! Alas, that I must stand and see the church and cause of Christ tossed about in contention, and made subservient to private interests, or deluded fancies! There is none of this disorder in theheavenly Jerusalem; there I shall find an harmonious consent of perfected spirits, in obeying and praising their everlasting King. O how much better to be adoor-keeperthere, than the commander of this tumultuous world? Why am I no more weary of this weariness? Why do I so forget my resting place? Up then, O my soul, in thy most raised and fervent desires! Stay not till this flesh can desire with thee; expect not that sense should apprehend thy blessed object, and tell thee when and what to desire. Doth not the dulness of thy desires after rest, accuse thee of most detestable ingratitude and folly? Must thy Lord procure thee a rest at so dear a rate, and dost thou no more value it? Must he go before to prepare so glorious a mansion for such a wretch, and art thou loth to go and possess it? Shall the Lord of Glory be desirous of thy company, and thou not desirous of his? Must earth become a very hell to thee, before thou art willing to be with God? Behold the most lovely creature, or the most desirable state, and tell me, where wouldst thou be, if not with God? Poverty is a burden; riches a snare; sickness unpleasing; health unsafe; the frowning worldbruises thy heel; the smiling worldstingsthee to the heart; so much as the world is loved and delighted in, it hurts and endangers the lover; and, if it may not be loved, why should it be desired? If thou art applauded, it proves the most contagious breath; if thou art vilified, or unkindly used, methinks this should not entice thy love. If thy successful labors, and thy godly friends, seem better to thee than a life with God, it is time for God to take them from thee. If thy studies have been sweet, have they not also been bitter? And at best, what are they to the everlasting views of the God of truth? Thy friends here have been thy delight; and have they not also been thy vexation and grief? They are gracious, and are they not also sinful? They are kind, and are they not soon displeased? They are humble, but, alas, how proud also? Their graces are sweet, and their gifts helpful; but are not their corruptions bitter, and their imperfections hurtful? And art thou so loth to go from them to thy God?