He walked over to his desk, and sank down into the arm chair.
"I don't—know—what—you're—talking—about."
"You do! And if you don't, why do you look out of the window there every night? Why d'you wait for it to come, before you start to write?"
His exclamation was involuntary.
"The shadow!"
"Yes. Its shadow—; from this room where I kept it—casting—over—there—its—shadow."
So that was what she meant. The superstition-fostered thing that epitomized his genius to himself. The shadow that he had come to look upon as a sign of luck. But it was nonsense. It wasn't possible; not such rot as that. It was his mind; the big creative mind of him that wrote.
"Have you said all you're going to say?"
For a second her gaze met his and then the heavy lids came down again over those strange green eyes, hiding all expression.
"Yes, Jasper."
He looked out of the window. His eyes stared through the night beyond the two shadowy, drooping willow trees on either side of the wicker gate and over at the house opposite. He caught his breath. The yellow light from the lamp on his desk played across the clear blank of the window blind across the way. The shadow had gone.
"Ellen—" His voice was hoarse. "Ellen!"
"What is it?"
"It's not there, Ellen—; six years; now—; why, Ellen—"
She went and sat down in the chair beside the desk.
"Yes."
"It isn't there! I tell you—"
"I thought it could make no difference to you!"
"It was—lucky—Ellen."
"Oh, lucky, Jasper?"
He made an effort to pull himself together.
"It won't make any difference to me—not to my writing; not to my genius."
After the silence of a moment her voice came to him in its low even measure.
"Then—; write!"
"Of course." His tone was high pitched, hysterical. "Naturally I'll write."
"Write, Jasper."
He caught up his pen and dipped it in the ink. He drew the white pile of paper nearer to him.
"Jasper—"
"How can I work if you don't stop talking? How can I do anything? How can I write?"
"Are—you—writing—Jasper? Are—you—?"
He did not answer her.
"Because;" she went on very quietly. "It's gone back, Jasper. It's—gone—now—"
His pen went to and fro; to and fro across the page. His figure was bent well over the desk. Every now and again, without moving, his bulging blue eyes would lift themselves to the clear blank blind of the window opposite and then they would come back and fix themselves intently upon the white page of paper which he was so busily covering with stupid, meaningless little drawings.
"Mr. Evans is upstairs in the library, ma'am."
Genevieve Evans hurried through the hall and up the steps. She pulled off her gloves as she went. She rolled them into a hard, small ball and tucked them automatically in her muff.
She had hoped that she would get there before him. She had been thinking of that all during the quick rush home. She would have liked to have had a moment to pull herself together. After what she had been through she wondered if she could keep from going all to pieces. It could not be helped. She did not even know if she cared a lot about it. She was quite numbed. He was there ahead of her; there in the library. Of all the rooms in the house that he should have chosen the one so rarely used. The room she hated.
At the door of the library she paused breathless.
For a second she thought the long dark room empty.
Then she saw Ernest.
He was standing in one of the deep windows. A short squat figure black against the dim yellow of the velvet curtains. One hand held his cigarette; the fingers of the other hand tapped unevenly on the window glass.
She knew then that he must have seen her come into the house.
"Ernest."
He turned.
"I've been waiting for you," he told her with studied indifference. "Where've you been, Jenny?"
She took a step into the room.
"I'm sorry, Ernest. I didn't know you'd be home so early."
"It's late. Where've you been?"
She wondered why she should bother avoiding answering his question.
"Oh—out."
Her tone was vague.
"No," he scoffed. "I wouldn't have guessed it. Really, I wouldn't!"
She loosened the fur from her neck and tossed it onto the center table.
"Don't, Ernest."
"Don't what, Jenny?"
She sank down into the depths of the nearest chair.
"Oh—nothing." Her hands clinched themselves. "Nothing."
He came and stood quite close to her. He glanced quickly at her, puffing the while at his cigarette. She thought he looked wicked and pagan; hideous and yellow behind the rising smoke. His narrow eyes peered at her.
"Well, Jenny—out with it, my girl. Where've you been?"
She looked away from him. Her face was pale. In the twilight shadowed room he had seen how wide and strange her eyes were.
She made up her mind then that it was not worth bothering about. She would tell him the truth. She did not care how he took it.
"I've been to see—; to—see—father—"
She whispered the words. Her eyes wavered back to his face.
"Good heavens!" He laughed harshly. "After all you said?"
"Yes."
"Rather a joke, that."
"No. There wasn't anything funny about it."
"Well. Was the old man surprised?"
"No. He told me he knew I'd come—some time."
"Wise old beggar, Daniel Drare!"
Her breath came quickly; unevenly.
"He's a devil, Ernest! That's what he is—; he's—"
He interrupted her.
"Not so fast, Jenny. You went there to see him, you know."
"But, Ernest, I couldn't stand it any longer. I—simply—couldn't—"
He walked deliberately over to the screened fireplace and tossed his cigarette into it.
"Why d'you go to him?"
"You know why I went."
"Why!"
She had felt right along that he must be made to understand it. She could not see why he had not known before.
"Oh, don't pretend any more. I'm sick of it. You know I'm sick of it."
His brows drew together in an angry frown.
"Sick of what? Eh, Jenny?"
Her eyes crept away from his and went miserably about the room. They took no note of the rare old furniture; of the dark paneled walls; of the color mellowed tapestries. She sat looking at it all blindly. Then her eyes raised themselves a bit. She found herself staring at the picture hung just above the wood carved mantel. The famous picture. The work of the great artist. The picture before which she had stood and hated; and hated. The picture which was the pride and portrait of her father, Daniel Drare.
She got to her feet.
"I'm sick of you—;" she said it quite calmly. "And—I'm sick—of—him." She nodded her head in the direction of the portrait. "I'd do anything to get away from both of you—anything!"
He smiled.
"You'll not get away from me," he told her.
"You—!" The one word was contemptuous. "You don't really count."
"What d'you mean?"
He still smiled.
"I mean what I say." Her voice was tired. "You're nothing—; nothing but—oh, a kind of a henchman to him. That's all you are. Not that he needs you. He doesn't need any one. He's too unscrupulously powerful for that. He's never needed any one. Not you. Nor—me. He didn't even need my mother. He broke her heart and let her die because he didn't need her. I think you know he's like that. You're no different where he's concerned than the others."
"After all—I'm your husband!"
"That's the ghastly part of it. You—my—husband. You're only my husband because of him. You knew that when I married you, didn't you? You knew the lies he told me when he wanted me to marry you. You never contradicted them. And I was too silly, too young to know. I wanted to get away from it all; and from him. I couldn't guess that you—d'you think, Ernest, if it hadn't been for those lies I'd have married you? Do you?"
"Oh, I don't know. I usually get what I want, Jenny."
"And why do you get it? Why?"
"Perhaps because I want it."
She laughed harshly.
"Because Daniel Drare gets it for you. Because he's had everything all his life. Because he's behind you for the time being. That's why!"
"And what if it is?"
"My God!" She muttered. "I can't make you understand. I can't even talk to either of you."
"You went to see him!"
"I went to him to tell him I couldn't stand it any longer. I begged him to help me; just—this—once—I told him I couldn't go on this way. I told him I couldn't bear any more. I told him the truth; that I'd—I'd go mad."
"What did he say? Eh, Jenny?"
For a second her eyes closed.
"He laughed. Laughed—"
"Of course!"
"There's no 'of course' about it. I'm serious. Deadly serious."
"Don't be a fool, Jenny. If you ask me I'd say you were mighty well off. Your father gives you everything you want. Your husband gives you everything you want. There isn't a man in the whole city who has more power than Daniel Drare. Or more money for that matter. You ought to be jolly well satisfied."
She waited a full moment before speaking.
"Maybe I'm a fool, Ernest. Maybe I am. A weak, helpless kind of a fool. But I'm not happy, Ernest. I can't go this kind of a life any more. It's gotten unreal and horrible. And the kind of things you do to make money; the kind of things you're proud of. They prey on me, Ernest. There's nothing about all this that's clean. It's making me ill; the rottenness of this sort of living. I'm not happy. Doesn't that mean anything to you?"
"Nonsense. You've no reason for not being happy. The trouble with you, Jenny, is that you've too lively an imagination."
"Oh, no, Ernest. I've got to get away. Somewhere—anywhere. Just by myself. I don't love you, Ernest. You don't really love me. It's only because I'm Daniel Drare's daughter that you married me. It was just his wealth and his power and—and is unscrupulous self that fascinated you."
"You don't know what you're saying."
"I do, I do, Ernest! You'd like to be like him. But you can't. You are like him in a lot of ways. The little ways. But you're not big enough to be really like him. Let me go, Ernest. Before it's too late;—let me go!"
He came and put a hand on her shoulder.
"I'll never let you go," he said.
"You must!" She whispered. "You've got to let me. Just to get away from all this. I've never been away in all my life. He'd never let me go—either."
Unconsciously her eyes went up to the picture.
The full, red face with the hard lines in it. The thick, sensual lips. The small, cunning eyes that laughed. The ponderous, heavy set of the figure. The big, powerful hands.
His gaze followed after hers.
And very suddenly he left her side. He walked over to the mantel.
"Funny," he muttered to himself. "Jolly strange—that!"
Her fingers clutched at her breast.
"Ernest—! What're you doing?"
"Can you see anything wrong here, Jenny?"
He was looking up at the portrait.
"Wrong?" She said it beneath her breath. "Wrong—"
He reached up a hand. He drew his fingers across the canvas.
"By Jove!" His voice was excited. "So it is. Thought I wasn't crazy. When could it have happened, eh? Ever notice this, Jenny?"
She could not take her eyes from his hand that was going over and over the canvas along the arm of the painted figure.
"Can't you see it, Jenny?"
"I—I can't see anything."
She whispered it.
"Come over here—; where I am."
She hesitated.
"Ernest, what's the sense? How can you see in this light anyway, how—"
He did not let her finish.
"Come here!"
Slowly she went toward him.
"What is it, Ernest? What?"
"A crack?" His hand still worked across it. "In the paint—here along the arm. Or a cut, or something. How under the sun could it have happened? We've got to have it fixed somehow. Never heard of such a thing before. Old Daniel Drare'll be as sore as a crab if ever he gets wind of this. It'd be like hurting him to touch this portrait. He certainly does think the world of it! How could it have happened;—that's what I'd like to know."
"I—I don't know what you're talking about—I—!"
"Here! Can't you see it? It's as plain as the nose on your face. Along the arm. It's a cut. Right into the canvas. You can run your finger in it. Give me your hand."
She shrank back from him.
"No—no, Ernest."
He stared at her intently.
"You do look seedy. You'd better go up and lie down. I've got to dress for dinner, anyway. We'll have to have this fixed."
He started for the door.
She blocked his way.
"Will—you—let—me—go, Ernest?"
"Don't start that again."
"All right. I won't!"
"That's a sensible girl, Jenny. Even your father had to laugh at you when you told him the way you feel. It isn't natural. It's just nerves, I guess. You could stick it out with Daniel Drare. You can stick it out with me. Look here, Daniel Drare's a great old fellow, but I'm not as crude in some things as he is; am I, Jenny?"
"You would be if you could." Her voice was singsong. "You haven't his strength; that's all."
"I'm not as crude as he is."
"You haven't his strength," she droned.
"I've enough strength to keep you here; if that's what you mean."
"No, it's not what I mean." A puzzled look crept across her face. Her eyes were suddenly furtive. "Maybe I don't know what I mean. But I don't think it's you. I don't think you count. It's him. It's Daniel Drare! He's behind it all. I don't think I quite know what I'll do about it. I must do something! I mustn't be angry!"
He stared at her.
"You'd best come along if you're going to dress."
"I'll be up in a moment," she said.
When he was gone she went over to the window.
She stood there gazing out into the darkened quiet side-street. She was trembling in every limb. Now and again she would half turn. Her eyes would go slowly, warily toward the portrait hanging there over the mantel and then they would hurry away again.
She started nervously when the butler knocked at the door.
"What is it, Williams?"
"Mr. Drare's housekeeper, ma'am. She'd like to see you, ma'am. I said I'd ask."
"Show her in here, Williams."
The man left the room.
She walked over to the farther corner of the room and switched on the lights.
She heard footsteps in the hall.
She stood quite still; waiting.
Footsteps—Nearer—
A middle-aged woman very plainly dressed was in the doorway.
"Miss Genevieve—"
"Nannie!"
"Miss Genevieve. I wouldn't have come; only I've got to tell you."
"What, Nannie? Come and sit down, Nannie."
The woman came into the room. For a second she paused, and then hurriedly she closed the door behind her.
"No, Miss Genevieve. I'll not sit down. Thank you. I can't be staying long. He might want me. I wouldn't like him to know I was here."
The muscles on either side of Genevieve Evans' mouth pulled and twitched.
"So? You're frightened too, Nannie!"
She said the words to herself.
The woman heard her.
"That I am, Miss. And that I've got good reason to be; the same as you, my poor Miss Genevieve."
"Yes, yes, Nannie. What was it you wanted?"
The woman stood quite rigid.
"You was there, Miss—this afternoon?"
"Yes—"
"Did you notice anything, Miss?"
She drew a deep breath.
"What d'you mean, Nannie? Nannie, what?"
"It's him, Miss. It was last night—"
The woman broke off.
"Yes, Nannie;" Genevieve Evans urged.
"I don't rightly know how to tell it to you, Miss. It's hard to find the words to say it in. He'd kill me if he knew I come here and told you. But you got to know. I can't keep it to myself. He's been fierce of late. What with making so much more money. And the drinking, Miss. And the women. The women, they're there all hours, now."
"My mother's house!" Genevieve Evans said it uncertainly.
"Yes, Miss," the woman went on. "And it was almost as bad when she lived."
"I know, Nannie. I've always known!"
"But last night, Miss; after they'd gone. I was asleep, Miss Genevieve. It woke me. It was awful. Plain horrid, Miss."
"What—Nannie?"
"The scream, Miss—A shriek of pain."
"No,—no, Nannie!" Genevieve Evans interrupted wildly. "Don't say it! Don't!"
The woman looked at her wonderingly.
"Why, Miss Genevieve—Poor, little lamb."
"Nannie, Nannie." She made a tremendous effort to control herself. "What was it you were going to say?"
"The scream, Miss. In the night. I rushed down. I knocked at his door. He wouldn't let me in. He was moaning, Miss. And cursing. And moaning. He was swearing about a knife. I listened, Miss—at the keyhole. I was scared. He kept cursing and moaning about a knife; about his arm—"
"Nannie—"
She whispered the word beneath her breath. "Yes, Miss. Cut in the arm. He would have it that way. And he wouldn't let me in. I waited for hours. And this morning I went into his room myself. He was in his shirt-sleeves. I pretended I wanted the linen for the wash. I was looking for blood, Miss. Not a drop did I find. Not a pin prick stain. But I seen him bandaging his arm; right in front of me he did it. And then I seen him rip the bandage off."
"Nannie—"
"It's his reason I fear for, Miss. He turns to me and asks me if I can see the cut."
"Yes? Yes, Nannie?"
"He shows me his arm. And, Miss—"
The woman stopped abruptly.
"Nannie—what? What?"
Genevieve Evans' hands had gone up to her throat.
"There wasn't a scratch;—not—a—scratch!"
"Oh—" She breathed.
"And that's why I came here, Miss. To ask if he'd said anything of it to you. Or if—if you'd noticed anything, Miss."
Genevieve Evans waited a full second before she answered:
"No, Nannie. He wouldn't have told me. I didn't notice anything. I wasn't there very long. You see I only went to ask him to let me get away. Out in the country—by myself. I wanted the money to go. He and—and Mr. Evans never give me money, Nannie. Just things—all the things, I want. Only I'm tired of things. I don't quite know what to do. When—I think about it I get very angry. I was very angry. Last night I was very angry! I've such funny ideas when I'm angry, Nannie. I mustn't get angry again. But I've got—to—get—away."
"I don't blame you, Miss Genevieve, for being angry. You've been an angel all your life; all your life pent up like—like a saint—with—with—devils."
"You—don't—blame—me—Nannie?"
"No, Lamb. Not your Nannie. Your Nannie knows what it's been like for you. I know him, Miss Genevieve. I know he didn't give you the money."
"No, Nannie. He laughed at me. Laughed—"
"He's a beast! That's what he is, Miss. He should have give it to you. And him going away himself. He was telling me only to-day. Into the country."
"What?"
"Oh, Miss. I hate to say such things to you. He's going with that black-haired woman;—the latest one, she is. He thinks she works too hard. He's taking her off for a rest. Is anything the matter? Aren't you well, darling?"
Genevieve Evans swayed dizzily for a second her one hand reaching out blindly before her.
The woman came quickly and took the hand between both of her hands and stroked it.
"Nannie, I'm sick—sick!"
"Nannie's darling—; Nannie's pet."
From somewhere in the house came the silvery, tinkling sound of a clock striking seven times.
"I've got to go, Miss Genevieve, dear."
"All right, Nannie."
The woman drew a chair up and pushed her gently into it.
"You'll not be telling him, Miss?"
"No, Nannie—; no—"
The woman started for the door.
"Thank you, Miss Genevieve."
"Nannie—; you said he was taking her—; the black-haired one—; away for a—a rest? Away into the country?"
With her hand on the door-knob the woman turned.
"Yes. Why—lamb!"
"Into the country." Genevieve Evans' voice was lifeless. "Into the country where everything is quiet and big—; and clean. You said that, Nannie?"
"I said the country, Miss Genevieve, dearie."
"Nannie—Nannie—;" her eyes were staring straight before her. "I—want—to—go!"
"Lamb—darling."
The woman stood undecided.
"But he wouldn't let me. He laughed at me. Nannie, he laughed."
The woman made up her mind.
"Will Nannie stop with you a bit, Miss Genevieve, dearie?"
"You said;" Genevieve Evans' lifeless, monotonous voice went on; "you said you wouldn't blame me for being angry. I get very angry, Nannie. Very angry. It brings all kinds of things to me when I get angry. His kind of things. Rotten things. And he's going to take her into the country; where everything's clean; and he won't let me—go. God!"
"Will I stay, Miss Genevieve?"
"No, Nannie—go! Go quickly! Go—now!"
"Yes, Miss Genevieve. He'll be wanting to know where I am."
"Go, Nannie!" She half rose from her chair. The door closed quietly behind the woman. "Go!" Genevieve Evans whispered. "He's going—into the country—; he's taking that woman. He wouldn't let me. He wants to keep me here. Just to feel his power—; his filthy power. He's not the only one." She was muttering now. "He's not the only one who can do things. Rotten—dirty things! His kind of things!"
She swayed to her feet. Her steps were short and uncertain. Her whole body reeled. Her face was blanched; drained of all color. Her fingers trembled wide spread at her sides. She was quivering from head to foot.
Only her eyes were steady; her eyes wide and dilated that were riveted on the portrait hanging there above the wood carved mantel.
She backed toward the door, her eyes glued to the picture.
Her shaking fingers, fumbling behind her, found the key and turned it.
Feeling her way with her hands, her distended eyes still fixed on that one thing, she got to the center table.
It took her a while to pull open the drawer.
Her breath came raspingly; as if she had been running.
The old Venetian dagger with the cracked jeweled handle was between her fingers.
Very slowly now she went toward the fireplace.
The electric light flared over the colored gems that studded the handle of the dagger, giving out small quick rays of blue and red and green.
"I'm angry;" she whispered hoarsely. "I—I'm very angry—with—you. You've no right—; no right—to—ruin—my—life—and laugh! You did—laugh—at—me!"
Her eyes stared up at the full, red face with the hard lines in it. Up at the thick, sensual lips. Up at the cunning eyes. At the ponderous, heavy-set figure. The powerful hands.
"Why—don't—you—laugh—now? You aren't afraid—are—you? You—aren't—afraid of—anything? Not of—me—are—you—Daniel Drare—? You've—done—your—best—to—keep—me—under—your—power—; you—stood—behind—Ernest—to keep—me under—your—power. You're—not—afraid—of—me? Why—don't—you—laugh—Daniel—Drare?"
Her right hand that held the dagger raised itself.
"Laugh, Daniel Drare! Laugh!"
She stood there under the portrait. Her left hand went stiffly out feeling over the long cut in the painted arm.
"Angry—last—night." She whispered. "And—it—hurt—you. Daniel Drare—I—could-hurt—you!"
For a second her eyes went up to the dagger held there above her head; the dagger with the thousand colored gleams pointing from it.
She gave a quick choking laugh.
"I laugh—at—you—Daniel—Drare."
With all her strength she drove the dagger into the heart of the canvas.
She staggered back to the center of the room.
There was a gaping rent in the portrait.
She laughed again; stupidly. Her laughter trailed off and stopped.
She stood there waiting.
Once she thought some one paused outside the door.
Her hands were up across her eyes.
Motionless she waited.
Suddenly she gave a quick start.
Out there in the hall a telephone had rung.
She heard her husband answer it.
Her one distinct thought was that he must have been on his way out for dinner.
His unbelieving cry came to her.
"My God! it can't—"
Her fingers were pressed into her ears. She did not want to hear the rest. She knew it.
The great lady fingered the pearls that circled her throat.
"Quite true," she murmured, and a smile crept up about the corners of her lips and lingered there. "Really, surprisingly true."
The woman with the white hair and the heavily lidded eyes bent a bit lower over her charts of stars and constellations.
"This year"—she went on in that low, undecided voice of hers—"this year Madame has had a big sorrow. It was the loss to Madame of a young man. He was tall and fair like Madame, but he had not Madame's eyes. He had courage, Madame, and a soft voice; always a soft voice. He went on, this young one, with his courage. The son of Madame died in the early Spring."
The great lady's hands dropped into her lap and clinched there: the knuckles showing white and round as her fingers strained against each other. Her eyes stared hard at the cracked walls; up over the low ceiling, toward the back of the small room that was divided off from the kitchen by a loose-hung plush curtain; out through the one window which gave on to the street. She could just see the heads of people who were passing and the faint, gray shadows of the late evening that were reaching in dark spots up along the rough, white walls of the house opposite. Her eyes came dazedly back to the room and the chairs and the table before which she sat. Two giant tears trickled down her cheeks. The smile was wiped from off her mouth.
The woman with the white hair had waited.
"There is another here. He is perhaps a little older than the one who died. He has not that one's courage. He is very careful of all the small things; like his clothes and his cigarettes and his affections. The big things he has never known. His eyes are like the eyes of Madame. Madame has this son in the war now."
"No—no!" The great lady leaned across the table. "Don't tell me—not that he—I couldn't bear it! Not—both—of—them!"
The woman with the white hair looked up quite suddenly from her charts of stars and constellations. A pitying quiver shook over her face.
"You need have no fear, Madame. He is not ready. It is a wound. It is not a wound that gives death."
The great lady fingered her pearls again.
"You—you quite carried me away. For a moment you startled me."
"I regret it, Madame. Perhaps I should not have said anything."
"Of course you should have. I told you that when I came in, didn't I? I said I wanted to hear everything. Everything you could tell me."
"Ah—yes, Madame."
"Is that all, now? You're certain that you've not forgotten anything?" And she pulled at her gold mesh bag, which was studded with sapphires.
"It is everything, Madame. Unless, perhaps, Madame has some question she would like to ask of me?"
The great lady drew her money out and tossed it on the table.
The woman with the white hair and those heavily lidded eyes did not touch it. The great lady got to her feet and started to the door. Quite suddenly she stopped.
"When—" She made an effort to steady her voice. "When will this thing—; this wound—come—?"
The woman with the white hair bent over the charts again. And then she caught up a pencil and made little signs on the yellow paper and drew a triangle through them and across them at the points.
"The fourth day of the second month from now, Madame."
The great lady came back to the table and stood there looking down.
"How do you do it?"
The woman with the white hair stared up in astonishment.
"Madame?"
The great lady's ringed fingers spread out, pale and taut at her sides. The jewels of the rings showed in dark, glistening stains against the white of her skin.
"What you've just told me—all of it. I don't see how you know—how you can know. It's true. I can't understand how it can be true. But it is. Every word of it."
The woman with the white hair fingered her pencil a bit wearily.
"But—of course, Madame."
"I came here;" the great lady spoke hurriedly. "I don't know why I came. Only I didn't think: I wouldn't have believed it possible. I couldn't tell you now why I came."
"There are many who come—these days."
"These days?"
"People would know more than they know of things they never thought of before, Madame—these days. They would follow a bit further after the lives that have been broken off so suddenly. They are impatient because they cannot see where they have never before looked and so they come to me because I have sat, staring into those places. They will see—all of them—soon. They are going on, further, because they must know. These days they must—know!"
The great lady stood quite still.
"You have a wonderful gift—wonderful."
"It is not mine, Madame."
The great lady's eyes went about the room.
"I'll be going," she said. "It's quite late."
Her eyes took in the cheap poverty of the mended carpet and the paint-scratched walls and the dingy-threaded, plush-covered chairs.
The woman with the white hair got to her feet.
"I know what you are thinking." Her voice was low. "If I can do this for others, you think, why should I not be able to do everything for myself? If I can tell to others, what may I not tell to myself? If I can give help to others, why can I not give help to myself?"
The silk of the great lady's dress gave out a faint rustle as she took a step back.
"No—" She murmured uncertainly.
"It is not 'No.'" The woman's voice trembled. "It is 'Yes.' It is what was going through your head—going around and around and fearing to be asked. But I will answer you. I will say that the power is not mine. It is the power that is given to me. It is not for myself. I do not want it for myself. I shall never touch it for myself, because it is meant for others. To help others and that is all."
"D'you mean you can't see things for yourself?"
The great lady was curious.
"But of course I can see. It is that which, sometimes—" The woman with the white hair broke off abruptly. "Do you know what it is to see and then to be able to do nothing—nothing? Not—one—thing—!"
"How can you?"
"I can, Madame, because that is what I am here for. It is by being nothing myself that this thing comes through me so that I can feel what other people are; what they are going to be. If I thought only of me, I would be so full of myself I could not think of anything else. It is from thinking a little bit beyond that the power first came. And now that I keep on thinking away from the nearest layer of thought, it works through me. And I can help. It is the wish of my life to help. It is what I am here for. Placed in the field. They told it to me—the voices. Put in the field,—by them."
The great lady shrugged her shoulders.
The woman with the white hair pulled herself up very suddenly. There was a quick, convulsive movement of her hands and for a short second her eyes closed. She went to the table and caught the money between her fingers and dragged it across the red cover to her.
"I thank Madame."
The great lady walked slowly to the door.
"Good-by. Perhaps some day I'll be back."
"Perhaps—Madame. Good-by."
The great lady went out of the room and closed the door behind her. The sound of her high-heeled footsteps tapped in sharp staccato down the uncarpeted stairs, and died away into the stillness. The long-drawn creak of rusty hinges and then the muffled thud of the front door swinging to. In the street the soft diminishing whirr of a motor grew fainter and was gone.
Silence.
The woman sank into a chair and buried her face between her two shaking hands.
Shadows crept up against the uncurtained window and pressed, quivering, against the pane. Shadows came into the room and stretched themselves along the floor. Shadows reached up across the wall and over the chairs and the table. Shadows spread in a gray, moving mass over the still figure of the woman.
A young girl came quickly and silently through the curtain that partitioned the room off from the kitchen.
"Maman—"
The woman did not move.
"I had not thought, Maman, that you were alone."
The woman slowly drew her face from out between her hands. She looked up uncertainly, her eyes only half open.
"Leave me, Angele."
"But, Maman, supper is ready."
"Let it wait, Angele."
The girl came over to the table and put her hand on the woman's shoulder.
"Was she then horrid, Maman?"
The woman sighed softly.
"It is not that, Angele. She was like the others. They come because they are curious. Something, perhaps, brings them here, but they do not know that. They are only curious. They do not believe. I tell them the truth. They are shocked for a little moment. They do not believe, Angele."
"Pauvre petite Maman, you are tired."
"Non, non, Angele."
"Will you have Jean see you tired, Maman?"
The woman stared up into the girl's small, white face that was dimmed with shifting shadows. The woman's heavily lidded eyes met the girl's wide, dark eyes.
"Jean—"
"He will be home to eat, Maman. Soon, now, he will be home."
The woman passed her hands again and again over her forehead and then she held them with the tips of her fingers pressed tight to her temples.
"He is such a child, Angele."
"Shall we have supper now?"
"Angele—"
"I will bring a light in here, Maman, and then when Jean is back we will go in to supper."
"He—is—such—a—child,—Angele."
"And never on time, Maman!"
The woman caught the girl's fingers between her own.
"Answer me, Angele. Answer me!"
The girl looked down in surprise.
"But what, Maman?"
The woman's breath came quickly.
"He is a child. Say that he is a baby. He is all that I have. You and he are all—everything! Say, Angele, that he is a child! Only yesterday, you remember—the long curls? The velvet suit? Surely it was yesterday. Say, Angele, that he—is—still—a—little—one."
The girl threw back her head and laughed. The shadows lay like long, dark fingers on the white of her throat.
"Of course. He is young—too young even now when they take the young. You have no need to worry, Maman. Maman—what is it?"
She had seen the sudden, far-away look in the woman's eyes.
She had seen her head stretch forward, the chin pointing, the mouth a little open.
"Maman—"
The woman's hand reached out in a gesture commanding silence.
"The voices," the woman whispered. "They have been after me the whole day. The voices. They—keep—coming—and—coming—to—me—I have not been able to think—for the voices—"
"Maman—"
"You say 'yes.' You are coming—nearer—nearer. No—I cannot see. But hear—Mais, it is good now! You speak distinctly. Of course I thank you for speaking so beautifully. You—say—you—want—want—"
"Petite Maman, you will make yourself ill with those old horoscopes and these voices. Petite Maman, have you not done enough for one day?"
The woman paid no attention to her. She did not seem to hear the girl. Her face was pale; there were faint, bluish smudges about her mouth and nostrils.
"You want—I cannot—cannot understand what you want. I'm trying to understand. I'm trying hard! If you will tell it to me again. And—slowly. With patience. It is better now. So that is it? More slowly,—if you can. Of course. Is it that you wish to know? Of—course—I—shall—give—you—what—you—want. I always give you what—you want. I do my best for that. You—want—"
The woman's eyes were closed. She was breathing deeply. Her whole figure was tense. The girl stood beside her, a puzzled, half incredulous look coming into her face.
"I—should—look. It does no—good—to—look. I can never see—Beyond the wood—I should look beyond.—What wood? Now? Is it perhaps that—you—mean—gate? Swings to and fro? Now—you—want—; this—moment—"
The door was flung wide open.
At the noise the woman slowly opened her eyes, staring blindly before her.
"You—want—" She murmured.
A boy stood in the doorway. He was slight and young. His face was small and rather like the girl's face, and his dark eyes were set far apart like her eyes. Through the gray of the massing shadows gleamed the brass buttons of his uniform.
The girl sprang forward.
"Jean—!"
"Maman." The boy came a step into the room. "See, Maman!"
"Hush, Jean." The girl turned to gaze at the woman sitting there with that stony, frozen stare, staying in her eyes.
"Maman, they have taken me at last!"
"Oh," for a second the girl forgot the woman. "But I am proud of you!"
"Maman, I wear the uniform. They will let me go now. I knew they would take me. Sooner or later; I knew they would have to! Aren't you glad?"
The girl remembered and interrupted him.
"Be still, Jean!"
The boy stood looking from one to the other, his eyes straining through the gloom.
"Maman," he whispered.
The woman's voice came trailing softly to them.
"They—want—"
"Maman;" the girl threw her arm protectingly over the woman's shoulders. "Jean is here. See, petite Maman; it is Jean. Your Jean."
The woman repeated the words in that gentle, plaintive singsong.
"They want—" and then she got to her feet. "Jean!—" Her voice rose shrilly crescendo. "It was that! My—Jean—"
"Maman;" the boy came and stood beside her. "You would not have me stay behind when they need me? You will be glad to have me go. Come, Maman, you must say that you are glad!"
"My little one—"
"Say, Maman, that you are glad."
"So young, Jean."
"But old enough to fight when they need me. Old enough to fight for France!"
"My baby—"
"You will not grieve, Maman."
She reached up and caught his face between her two hands and drew it down and kissed him on the mouth.
"Ah, Jean!"
"And say, how do I look?" He turned around and around in front of them. "But, Angele, fetch the lamp quickly. You cannot see in this dark. You cannot see me."
The girl laughed a bit uncertainly, and then she went quickly, rushing into the next room.
The woman gripped hold of the boy's hand. His fingers grasped hers.
"Petite Maman."
"Mon Jean—just—a—moment—still—so."
They stood there silent and very close to each other, in the room crowded with moving, splotching shadows. The girl came back through the curtain, a lighted lamp between her two hands. The flicker of it spread broadly into her eager, anxious face. The glow of it trickled before her and widened through the room. The shadows stuck to the walls in the corners and rocked up against the ceiling, black among the uneven streaks of yellow light.
"Now, Angele. Now, Maman. Put it there on the table, Angele. No, hold it higher. Like that. Keep your hands steady, Angele, or how can Maman see? Such a miserable lamp! Does not my uniform look magnificent? I am the real poilu, hein? Something to be proud of, Maman?"
"The real poilu?" The girl questioned softly. "The grandchild of the real poilu, maybe."
"She mocks me, Maman."
"Be quiet, Angele."
"I do not mock, Maman; but I will not have his head turned. The poor little cabbage!"
"See, Maman. She will not stop. Tell her that I fight for France."
For a moment the woman hesitated. They could hear the deep breath she took.
"For France. And for something else, my little son."
With great care the girl placed the lamp on the table.
"Something else, Maman?"
"The thing for which France stands—; and conquers."
He seized at her last word.
"Conquers? Of course she conquers. And I will help! I will kill the Boches. Right and left. I shall fight until France will win!"
A strange light had filtered into the woman's heavily lidded eyes.
"Bravo!" The girl clapped her hands together. "And shall we have our supper now, petite Maman, and my little rabbit?"
"Maman—when I have this uniform—"
"Go, children. In a moment I will be with you."
"Come, my cauliflower. Maman would be alone."
"Maman—"
"Jean—I do not mean to tease. Let us go in to supper. If I do not try to be pleasant I shall weep. You would not have me weep, brother Jean? I would wet the pretty shoulder of your uniform with my tears. That would be a tragedy. So come along to supper, my rascal."
Hand in hand the boy and the girl went through the loose-hung, plush curtain into the kitchen.
The woman stood rigid beside the table.
"Help me," she whispered beneath her breath. "You—"
She stumbled to her knees. Her head was pressed against the edge of the table. Her hands fumbled over the top of it, the fingers widespread and catching; clutching at whatever they touched.
From the kitchen came the sound of low voices. A knife rattled clatteringly against a plate. Once the girl laughed and her laughter snapped off in a half-smothered sob.
The woman moaned a little.
"Just to watch over him. That's all I ask.—You—across there, just—to—protect—him—"
Her hands went to her throat, the fingers tightening.
"A sign," she implored. "Dieu—that—you—hear—me!"
Her eyes stared about the room, peering frantically from under their heavy lids.
"Will you not help me?" She pleaded. "Dieu! mon Dieu,—will you not—help—me—?"
Her kneeling figure swayed a bit.
"You will not hear," she whimpered. "You will—not—hear—"
For a moment longer she waited in the tense silence. And then she rose stiffly to her feet. Her eyes riveted themselves upon a little pool of yellow light that lay in the center of the table under the lamp. The palms of her hands struck noiselessly together.
Very slowly, she went through the curtain and into the kitchen.
It was a scrupulously clean room. A stove stood in one corner. Against the wall hung a row of pots and pans that caught the light from the swinging lamp in brilliant, burnished patches.
Angele and Jean sat near to each other at the center table. Their heads were close. Their cautious whispering stopped abruptly as she came toward them.
The woman sat down with the girl on one side of her and the boy on the other. She was very silent. There was only one thing she could have said. She did not want to say it.
Mechanically she tried to eat. She watched her hands moving upward from her plate with a sort of dazed interest. It was only when she tried to swallow that she realized how each mouthful of food choked her.
The one question came to her lips again and again.
At last she asked it.
"When do you go—mon Jean?"
The boy gave a quick glance at his sister and his eyes fixed themselves upon the table before him and stayed there. She knew then what they had been speaking of when she came into the room.
"What difference does it make, petite Maman, when I go?"
"But when, my son?"
"See, Angele, she is anxious to be rid of me! She cannot wait until I go. She insists upon knowing even before we have finished this supper of ours."
"Maman;"—the girl spoke hurriedly. "Let us talk of that later."
"When?" She insisted.
"But, Maman, you have not touched your food. Was it not good? And I thought you would so like the p'tit marmite."
"It is excellent, Angele."
"Then eat, Maman."
"It is that I am not hungry, Angele."
"So, the p'tit marmite is not good, petite Maman. If it were excellent, even though you have no hunger, you would eat and eat until there was not one little bit left."
The woman took another spoonful.
"When?" She repeated.
The boy's dark eyes lifted and looked into hers.
"To-night,—Maman."
Her figure straightened itself with a quick jerk.
"To-night?"
"And what does it matter, petite Maman, when I go? Surely to-night is as nice a time as any."
"As nice a time as any;" she echoed his words.
The three of them sat there silently.
The girl was the first to move.
"Ah, but it is hot in here." She pushed her chair back from the table. "It is uncomfortable!"
The boy and the woman got to their feet.
"I'll pack, Maman. Not much, you know. Just my shaving things and soap, and some underwear. Angele will help me. I won't be long."
He went out of the kitchen door and down the narrow passage way to his room. The girl hesitated for a moment. Without a word she hurried after him.
The woman crossed slowly into the next room. For a second she stood beside the table, and then she walked over to the window.
Outside the street was dark. No light trickled through the blinds of the house opposite. No light reached its brilliant electric flare into the sky. No light from the tall lamp-post specked through the gloom. In the dim shadow of the silent street she could see the vague forms of people going to and fro. Blurred figures moving in the darkness with the echo of their footsteps trailing sharply behind them.
She stood quite still. Once her hands crept up to her mouth, the backs of them pressing against her teeth.
"Maman."
She wheeled about at the sound of Jean's voice.
He was standing just within the doorway, the girl at his side. The woman stood there staring. The girl crossed the room quickly and put her arm about the woman's waist, drawing her close.
"Petite Maman—"
"You—go—now—Jean?"
She said the words carefully and precisely with a tremendous effort for control.
"But, yes, Maman!"
She leaned a little against the girl.
"Mon Jean, you will have courage—; great—courage—my little one, you will be protected. You—will—be—protected!" She had said that in spite of herself.
He came to her then and flung his arms about her and kissed her on either cheek, and held her tightly to him.
"Good-by, petite Maman."
"Good—" She could not say it.
"Good-by, Angele."
"My little rabbit—I wish you luck. My cabbage—au revoir—;" and her lips brushed across his mouth.
For a second he did not move. Then he went across the room and out through the door.
He was gone.
The woman's eyes went to the window. The silent, darkened street. The people there below her. The somber, black lack of light.
"Maman;" the girl whispered.
"They will watch over him," the woman muttered. "They must watch—out—there. They do come back into the world again to protect. They cannot—cannot leave them in all that horror—alone."
"See, Maman." The girl's quivering face was against the window-pane. "Maman, Jean waves to you!"
Her eyes followed the pointing of the girl's finger.
"They—must—be—here—," she murmured.
"Maman,—wave to Jean!"
Her gaze rested on the dim, undefined figure of the boy standing in the street with his hat in the hand that was reached toward them above his head. Mechanically she waved back.
The woman and the girl stood close.
"Oh—petite maman;" she whispered piteously.
The woman's eyes dilated.
There, following after Jean; going through the shadow-saturated street; moving unheeded among the vague figures of the people going to and fro. Something was there. Some scant movement like a current too quiet to see. A shadow in the shadows that her sight could not hold to. In the dark, gloom-soaked street, staying close to her Jean, she could feel something. Some one was there.
Her eyes strained with desperate intentness. Her hands went up slowly across her heart.
The words that came to her lips were whispered:
"Dieu! Give me faith;—faith—not—to—disbelieve—"
He walked along the pavement with the long, swinging stride he had so successfully aped from the men about him. It had been one of the first things upon which he had dwelt with the greatest patience; one of the first upon which he had centered his stolid concentration. He had carried his persistency to such a degree that he had even been known to follow other men about measuring their step to a nicety with those long, narrow eyes of his, that seemed to see nothing, and yet penetrated into the very soul of everything.
His classmates at the big college had at the beginning laughed at him; scoffing readily because of the dogged manner in which he had persevered at his desire to become thoroughly American. Now after all his laborious painstaking, now that he had carefully studied all their ways of talking, all their distinctive mannerisms; now that he had gone even beyond that with true Oriental perception, reaching out with the cunning tentacles of his brain into the minds of those about him, he knew they had begun to treat him with the comradeship, the unthinking fellow-feeling which they accorded each other.
He thoroughly realized that had they paused to consider, had they in any way been made to feel that he, a Chinaman, had consciously made up his mind to become one of them, consistently mimicking them day after day, that they would have resented him. He knew that they could not have helped but think it all hypocrisy. And yet he actually felt that it was the one big thing of his life; that desire of his to cast aside the benightment of dying China, for what he considered the enlightment and virility of America.
To be sure he recognized there was still a great number of the men who distrusted him because of his yellow face. He had made up his mind with the slow deliberation that always characterized his unswerving determination to win every one of them before the end of his last year. He would show them one and all that he was as good as they were; that the traditions of the Chinaman which they so looked down upon, upon which he himself looked down upon, were not his traditions.
As he walked along he thought of these things; thought of them carefully and concisely in English. His narrow eyes became a trifle more narrow, and a smile that held something of triumph in it came and played about his flat, mobile mouth.
It had been raining hard. The wet streets stretched in dark, reflecting coils under the corner lamps. Overhead a black sky lowered threateningly; pressing down upon the crouching, gray masses of the close-built houses in sullen menace. Now and again a swift moving train flung itself in thundering derision across the elevated tracks; a long brightly lit line streaking through the encircling gloom.
He could feel the mysterious throb of life all about him. The unfathomed lure of the night, of the few people that at so late an hour crept past him, looming for a second in sudden distinctness at his side, then fading phantom-like into the deep engulfing shadows of the dim street.
He was at a complete loss how to express to himself the feeling of dread; a subtle feeling that somehow refused to be translated into the carefully acquired English of which he was so proud.
For a moment he doubted himself. Doubted that, were he so thoroughly American, he could feel the Oriental's subconscious recognition of the purposeful, sinister intent in the huddled mass of darkened shop windows with their rain-dripping signs; in the shining reptile scales of the asphalt underfoot; in the pulsing intensity of the hot, torpid July atmosphere.
A street lamp flickered its uncertain light sluggishly over the carefully groomed figure and across the placid breath of the yellow face.
He paused a second as he saw a form come lurching unsteadily out of the gloom ahead of him. It came nearer and he could see that what had at first appeared to be a dark, undefinable mass, pushed here and there by unseen hands, was in reality a man swaying drunkenly out of the shadows.
He watched the man curiously, with a little of that contemptuous feeling an Oriental always holds for any expression of excess. As the man stood before him in the darkness, as he stumbled and seemed about to fall, he put out his hand and caught him by the elbow.
"Thank 'e;" the drunken eyes blinked blearily up into his stolid impassive face. "It's fine to be saved on a stormy night like this. It is—"
"Don't mention it."
"It's a powerful dark night;—it is."
"Les. That is so."
"And it's a damn long way home. Ain't it?"
"I do not know."
"By the saints! And no more do I. Ain't you got a dime on you, mister? You could be giving it to me for car fare—; couldn't you now, mister?"
"Velee glad to let you have it."
He fished in his pocket. He drew out the coin and placed it in the man's outstretched hand. He watched the dirty fingers close eagerly over it. Suddenly the bloodshot eyes wavered suspiciously across his face. He saw the red flushed features twitch convulsively.
"Holy Mother!" The drunkard muttered thickly. "It's a heathen."
The dime slipped from between the inert fingers. It tinkled down onto the pavement, rolling with a little splash into a pool of water that lay a deep stain in the crevice of the broken asphalt.
For a moment he wondered placidly at the injustice of it; wondered that he should be made to feel the disgust of so revolting a thing as this drunkard.
He saw that the man had crossed himself with sudden fervor; he saw him shuffle uncertainly this way and that, as though the feet refused to carry the huge, bloated body. He stood watching the reeling figure until its dark outline was absorbed into the intenser darkness of a side street. The expression on his face never changing, he walked on.
He knew he had no right to be out at that time of the night; he knew he ought to be sitting at his desk in his comfortable little room, working out the studies which he had set himself. And yet he could not make up his mind to turn back.
Something drew him on into the blackness of the night; pulling him into it like a fated thing.
Now and then he found that the stride he had acquired from such grinding observation tired him. Not for worlds would he have shortened his step to that padding, sinuous motion so distinctly Chinese.
He had grown to hate all things Chinese. In the short time in which he had been in New York he had discarded with the utmost patience the traits which are so persistently associated with the Chinaman. To be thought American; to have the freedom, the quick appreciation of life that belongs to the Occident, that had been the goal toward which he had striven; the goal he prided himself he had almost reached.
Suddenly he became aware of a hand on his arm.
In the dark he felt the pressure of bony fingers against his flesh.
Looking down he saw that a woman had crept up from behind him; that she had put out her hand in an effort to detain him.
It was in the center of a block. The thick blackness that hung loosely, an opaque veil all about him, was almost impenetrable. Yet as he looked at her with his small, piercing eyes, he thought he saw her lips moving in crimsoned stains splashed against the whiteness of her face.
"What is it?" He asked.
He saw her raise her eyelids at his question. He found himself gazing into her eyes; eyes that were twin balls of fire left to burn in a place that had been devastated by flames.
"It's hot;—ain't it?"
He stood silent for a moment trying to realize that the woman had every right to be there; trying to understand with an even greater endeavor that she was in reality a flesh and blood woman, and not some mysteriously incarnate soul crawling to his side out of the sinister night.
"Les,—it's velee hot."
Something in his tone caused her to start; caused her to look around her as though she were afraid.
"I wouldn't have spoke," she stammered. "I wouldn't have spoke only it's such a fierce night." Then as he did not answer her immediately, her voice rose querulously. "It's a fierce night; ain't it, now?"
That was the word for which he had so vainly searched throughout the vocabulary of his carefully acquired English. The word the woman had given him, that expressed the sullen menace of the night about him.
"It is—fie—" He made an effort to accomplish the refractory "r." "It is fierce."
The hand she had withdrawn from his arm was reached out again. He could feel her fingers scrape like the talons of a frightened bird around his wrist.
"You get it too, mister?"
"Get what?"
"The kind of feeling that makes you think something is going to happen?" She drew the back of her free hand across her mouth. "Ain't it making you afraid?"
Somehow the woman's words aroused within him a dread that was a prophecy. He made one attempt at holding to his acquired Americanism. The Americanism which was slowly receding before the stifled waves of Oriental foreboding, like a weak, protesting thing that fears a hidden strength. For he knew the foreboding was fate; and he knew too that when fulfilled, it would be met with all the stoicism of a Chinaman.
"You feel aflaid?"
The fingers about his wrist clattered bonily together; then clinched themselves anew.
"Yes," she whispered. "I guess that's it. I guess I'm afraid."
For a moment he thought of the lateness of the hour.
"I'm velee solee," he said. "I'm solee, but I must be going."
"You can't leave me;" she stuttered behind her shut teeth. "You ain't got the heart to leave me all alone on a night like this."
"You can go to your home;" and he thought of the drunkard who had gone to his home. Surely the night sheltered strange creatures. "Les, you better go on to your home."