PROCLAMATION FOR A GENERAL FAST.George R.We, taking into our most serious Consideration the just and necessary Measures of Force which We are obliged to use against Our rebellious Subjects in Our Colonies and Provinces in North America and Putting Our Trust in Almighty God, that He will vouchsafe a special Blessing on Our Arms both by Sea and Land, have resolved, and do, by and with the Advice of Our Privy Council, hereby command, That a Publick Fast and Humiliation be observed throughout that Part of Our Kingdom of Great Britain called England, Our Dominion of Wales, and Town of Berwick upon Tweed, upon Friday the 13th Day of December next; and so both We and Our People may humble Ourselves before Almighty God, in order to obtain Pardon of Our Sins; and may, in the most devout and solemn Manner, send up our Prayers and Supplications to the Devine Majesty, for averting those heavy Judgments which Our manifold Sins and Provocations have most justly deserved, and for imploring his Intervention and Blessing speedily to deliver Our loyal Subjects within Our Colonies and Provinces in North America from the Violence, Injustice, and Tyranny, of those daring Rebels who have assumed to themselves the Exercise of Arbitrary Power; to open the Eyes of those who have been deluded by specious Falsehoods into Acts of Treason and Rebellion; to turn the Hearts of the Authors of these Calamities, and finally to restore Our People in those distracted Provinces and Colonies to the happy Condition of being free Subjects of a free State; under which heretofore they flourished so long and prospered so much.And We do strictly charge and command, That the said Publick Fast be reverently and devoutly observed by all Our loving Subjects in England, Our Dominion of Wales, and Town of Berwick upon Tweed, as they tender the Favour of Almighty God, and would avoid His Wrath and Indignation; and upon Pain of such Punishment as We may justly inflict upon all such as contemn and neglect the Performance of so religious a Duty. And, for the better and more orderly solemnizing the same, We have given Directions to the Most Reverend the Archbishops, and the Right Reverend the Bishops of England, to compose a Form of Prayer, suitable to this Occasion, to be used in all Churches, Chapels, and Places of Publick Worship, and to take Care the same be timely dispersed throughout their respective Dioceses. Given at Our Court at St. James, the Thirtieth Day of October, One Thousand seven hundred and seventy-six, in the Seventeenth Year of Our Reign.
PROCLAMATION FOR A GENERAL FAST.
George R.
We, taking into our most serious Consideration the just and necessary Measures of Force which We are obliged to use against Our rebellious Subjects in Our Colonies and Provinces in North America and Putting Our Trust in Almighty God, that He will vouchsafe a special Blessing on Our Arms both by Sea and Land, have resolved, and do, by and with the Advice of Our Privy Council, hereby command, That a Publick Fast and Humiliation be observed throughout that Part of Our Kingdom of Great Britain called England, Our Dominion of Wales, and Town of Berwick upon Tweed, upon Friday the 13th Day of December next; and so both We and Our People may humble Ourselves before Almighty God, in order to obtain Pardon of Our Sins; and may, in the most devout and solemn Manner, send up our Prayers and Supplications to the Devine Majesty, for averting those heavy Judgments which Our manifold Sins and Provocations have most justly deserved, and for imploring his Intervention and Blessing speedily to deliver Our loyal Subjects within Our Colonies and Provinces in North America from the Violence, Injustice, and Tyranny, of those daring Rebels who have assumed to themselves the Exercise of Arbitrary Power; to open the Eyes of those who have been deluded by specious Falsehoods into Acts of Treason and Rebellion; to turn the Hearts of the Authors of these Calamities, and finally to restore Our People in those distracted Provinces and Colonies to the happy Condition of being free Subjects of a free State; under which heretofore they flourished so long and prospered so much.
And We do strictly charge and command, That the said Publick Fast be reverently and devoutly observed by all Our loving Subjects in England, Our Dominion of Wales, and Town of Berwick upon Tweed, as they tender the Favour of Almighty God, and would avoid His Wrath and Indignation; and upon Pain of such Punishment as We may justly inflict upon all such as contemn and neglect the Performance of so religious a Duty. And, for the better and more orderly solemnizing the same, We have given Directions to the Most Reverend the Archbishops, and the Right Reverend the Bishops of England, to compose a Form of Prayer, suitable to this Occasion, to be used in all Churches, Chapels, and Places of Publick Worship, and to take Care the same be timely dispersed throughout their respective Dioceses. Given at Our Court at St. James, the Thirtieth Day of October, One Thousand seven hundred and seventy-six, in the Seventeenth Year of Our Reign.
By George Thomas Lanigan.
(This famous poem appeared in the New YorkSunin January, 1876. Mr. Lanigan wrote it the previous evening, on the arrival of a brief cablegram announcing the death of the Ahkoond of Swat, in British India.)
(This famous poem appeared in the New YorkSunin January, 1876. Mr. Lanigan wrote it the previous evening, on the arrival of a brief cablegram announcing the death of the Ahkoond of Swat, in British India.)
What, what, what,What's the news from Swat?Sad news,Bad news,Comes by the cable ledThrough the Indian Ocean's bed,Through the Persian Gulf, the RedSea, and the Med-iterranean—he's dead;The Ahkoond is dead!For the Ahkoond I mourn;Who wouldn't?He strove to disregard the message stern,But he Ahkoodn't.Dead, dead, dead;(Sorrow Swats!)Swats wha hae wi' Ahkoond bled,Swats whom he hath often ledOnward to a gory bed,Or to victory,As the case might be,Sorrow Swats!Tears shed,Shed tears like water,Your great Ahkoond is dead!That Swats the matter!Mourn, city of Swat!Your great Ahkoond is not,But lain 'mid worms to rot.His mortal part alone; his soul was caught(Because he was a good Ahkoond)Up to the bosom of Mahound.Though earthly walls his fame surround(Forever hallowed be the ground!)And skeptics mock the lowly moundAnd say "He's now of no Ahkoond!"His soul is in the skies—The azure skies that bend above his lovedMetropolis of Swat.He sees with larger, other eyes,Athwart all earthly mysteriesHe knows what's Swat.Let Swat bury the great AhkoondWith a noise of mourning and of lamentation!Let Swat bury the great AhkoondWith the noise of the mourning of the Swattish nation!Fallen is at lengthIts tower of strength,Its sun is dimmed ere it had nooned;Dead lies the great Ahkoond;The great Ahkoond of SwatIs not!
What, what, what,What's the news from Swat?Sad news,Bad news,Comes by the cable ledThrough the Indian Ocean's bed,Through the Persian Gulf, the RedSea, and the Med-iterranean—he's dead;The Ahkoond is dead!
For the Ahkoond I mourn;Who wouldn't?He strove to disregard the message stern,But he Ahkoodn't.Dead, dead, dead;(Sorrow Swats!)
Swats wha hae wi' Ahkoond bled,Swats whom he hath often ledOnward to a gory bed,Or to victory,As the case might be,Sorrow Swats!Tears shed,Shed tears like water,Your great Ahkoond is dead!That Swats the matter!
Mourn, city of Swat!Your great Ahkoond is not,But lain 'mid worms to rot.His mortal part alone; his soul was caught(Because he was a good Ahkoond)Up to the bosom of Mahound.Though earthly walls his fame surround(Forever hallowed be the ground!)And skeptics mock the lowly moundAnd say "He's now of no Ahkoond!"His soul is in the skies—The azure skies that bend above his lovedMetropolis of Swat.He sees with larger, other eyes,Athwart all earthly mysteriesHe knows what's Swat.Let Swat bury the great AhkoondWith a noise of mourning and of lamentation!Let Swat bury the great AhkoondWith the noise of the mourning of the Swattish nation!Fallen is at lengthIts tower of strength,Its sun is dimmed ere it had nooned;Dead lies the great Ahkoond;The great Ahkoond of SwatIs not!
"Dear wife, I'm waxing near my end,"The dying cobbler said;"Soon to an upper world my soulIts lonely way must tread."I fear indeed I'm pegging out;But then what boots it, love?Here we've been a well-fitted pair,And so we'll be above."My ills I know no drugs may heel,So it's well to prepare;We can't run counter to our fate—Just put a peg in there."The future need not give you care,I've left my awl to you;For deep within my inner soleI know that you've been true."I've always given you your rights,But now you must be left;However, do not grieve too muchWhen of me you're bereft."A last farewell I now will take."He smiled and raised his head."B-last the cruel maladyThat lays you low," she said."I'll slipper away in peace," he sighed;"The strife will soon be past."His head fell back, he sweetly smiled,And then he breathed his last.
"Dear wife, I'm waxing near my end,"The dying cobbler said;"Soon to an upper world my soulIts lonely way must tread.
"I fear indeed I'm pegging out;But then what boots it, love?Here we've been a well-fitted pair,And so we'll be above.
"My ills I know no drugs may heel,So it's well to prepare;We can't run counter to our fate—Just put a peg in there.
"The future need not give you care,I've left my awl to you;For deep within my inner soleI know that you've been true.
"I've always given you your rights,But now you must be left;However, do not grieve too muchWhen of me you're bereft.
"A last farewell I now will take."He smiled and raised his head."B-last the cruel maladyThat lays you low," she said.
"I'll slipper away in peace," he sighed;"The strife will soon be past."His head fell back, he sweetly smiled,And then he breathed his last.
I started on a journey just about a week ago,For the little town of Morrow, in the State of Ohio.I never was a traveler, and really didn't knowThat Morrow had been ridiculed a century or so.I went down to the depot for my ticket, and appliedFor the tips regarding Morrow, not expecting to be guyed.Said I, "My friend, I want to go to Morrow and returnNot later than to-morrow, for I haven't time to burn."Said he to me, "Now let me see if I have heard you right;You want to go to Morrow and come back to-morrow night.You should have gone to Morrow yesterday and back to-day,For if you started yesterday to Morrow, don't you see,You could have got to Morrow and returned to-day at three.The train that started yesterday—now understand me right—To-day it gets to Morrow, and returns to-morrow night."Said I, "My boy, it seems to me you're talking through your hat,Is there a town named Morrow on your line? Now tell me that.""There is," said he, "and take from me a quiet little tip—To go from here to Morrow is a fourteen-hour trip.The train that goes to Morrow leaves to-day eight-thirty-five;Half after ten to-morrow is the time it should arrive.Now if from here to Morrow is a fourteen-hour jump,Can you go to-day to Morrow and come back to-day, you chump?"Said I, "I want to go to Morrow; can I go to-dayAnd get to Morrow by to-night, if there is no delay?""Well, well," said he, "explain to me and I've no more to say;Can you go anywhere to-morrow and come back to-day?For if to-day you'd get to Morrow, surely you'll agreeYou should have started not to-day, but yesterday, you see.So if you start to Morrow, leaving here to-day, you're flat,You won't get in to Morrow till the day that follows that."Now if you start to-day to Morrow, it's a cinch you'll landTo-morrow into Morrow, not to-day, you understand.For the train to-day to Morrow, if the schedule is all right,Will get you into Morrow by about to-morrow night."Said I, "I guess you know it all, but kindly let me say,How can I go to Morrow if I leave the town to-day?"Said he, "You cannot go to Morrow any more to-day,For the train that goes to Morrow is a mile upon its way."
I started on a journey just about a week ago,For the little town of Morrow, in the State of Ohio.I never was a traveler, and really didn't knowThat Morrow had been ridiculed a century or so.I went down to the depot for my ticket, and appliedFor the tips regarding Morrow, not expecting to be guyed.Said I, "My friend, I want to go to Morrow and returnNot later than to-morrow, for I haven't time to burn."
Said he to me, "Now let me see if I have heard you right;You want to go to Morrow and come back to-morrow night.You should have gone to Morrow yesterday and back to-day,For if you started yesterday to Morrow, don't you see,You could have got to Morrow and returned to-day at three.The train that started yesterday—now understand me right—To-day it gets to Morrow, and returns to-morrow night."
Said I, "My boy, it seems to me you're talking through your hat,Is there a town named Morrow on your line? Now tell me that.""There is," said he, "and take from me a quiet little tip—To go from here to Morrow is a fourteen-hour trip.The train that goes to Morrow leaves to-day eight-thirty-five;Half after ten to-morrow is the time it should arrive.Now if from here to Morrow is a fourteen-hour jump,Can you go to-day to Morrow and come back to-day, you chump?"
Said I, "I want to go to Morrow; can I go to-dayAnd get to Morrow by to-night, if there is no delay?""Well, well," said he, "explain to me and I've no more to say;Can you go anywhere to-morrow and come back to-day?For if to-day you'd get to Morrow, surely you'll agreeYou should have started not to-day, but yesterday, you see.So if you start to Morrow, leaving here to-day, you're flat,You won't get in to Morrow till the day that follows that.
"Now if you start to-day to Morrow, it's a cinch you'll landTo-morrow into Morrow, not to-day, you understand.For the train to-day to Morrow, if the schedule is all right,Will get you into Morrow by about to-morrow night."Said I, "I guess you know it all, but kindly let me say,How can I go to Morrow if I leave the town to-day?"Said he, "You cannot go to Morrow any more to-day,For the train that goes to Morrow is a mile upon its way."
I was so disappointed I was mad enough to swear;The train had gone to Morrow and had left me standing there.The man was right in telling me I was a howling jay;I didn't go to Morrow, so I guess I'll go to-day.
I was so disappointed I was mad enough to swear;The train had gone to Morrow and had left me standing there.The man was right in telling me I was a howling jay;I didn't go to Morrow, so I guess I'll go to-day.
Wring out the old, wring out the new,Wring out the black, wring out the gray,Wring out the white, wring out the blue—And thus I wring my life away.An occupation strange is mine;At least it seems to people drollThat while I'm working at the lineI'm going on from pole to pole.Where'er I go I strive to please,From morn to night I rub and rub;I'm something like Diogenes—I almost live within a tub.To acrobats who vault and springIn circuses I take a shine;They make their living in the ring,And by the wringer I make mine.My calling's humble, I'll agree,But I am no cheap calico,As some folks are who sneer at me;I'm something that will wash, you know.I smile in calm, I strive in storm,With life's adversities I copeMy duties bravely to perform;My motto—While there's life there's soap.Wring out the old, wring out the new,Wring out the black, wring out the gray,Wring out the white, wring out the blue—And thus I wring my life away.
Wring out the old, wring out the new,Wring out the black, wring out the gray,Wring out the white, wring out the blue—And thus I wring my life away.
An occupation strange is mine;At least it seems to people drollThat while I'm working at the lineI'm going on from pole to pole.
Where'er I go I strive to please,From morn to night I rub and rub;I'm something like Diogenes—I almost live within a tub.
To acrobats who vault and springIn circuses I take a shine;They make their living in the ring,And by the wringer I make mine.
My calling's humble, I'll agree,But I am no cheap calico,As some folks are who sneer at me;I'm something that will wash, you know.
I smile in calm, I strive in storm,With life's adversities I copeMy duties bravely to perform;My motto—While there's life there's soap.
Wring out the old, wring out the new,Wring out the black, wring out the gray,Wring out the white, wring out the blue—And thus I wring my life away.
BYDOUGLAS JERROLD.
A Glimpse of English Domestic Life in Which the American Reader MayFind Here and There Something That Sounds Quite Familiar.
Editor, humorist, playwright, humanitarian, Douglas William Jerrold—to give him his seldom heard full name—was a winning figure in his period. He was born in London in 1803, the son of an actor and theater lessee. He had little schooling, but he was fond of books, and educated himself precociously by reading a wide range of literature in English, French, Italian, and Latin. Occasionally his father cast him for children's parts on the stage. For a time he served as a midshipman in the British navy, and later became a printer's apprentice. He was only fifteen when he wrote a comedy, "More Frightened Than Hurt," which was well received. His best-remembered play, "Black-Eyed Susan," was produced in 1829. All in all, he wrote more than forty plays, many of which enjoyed an ephemeral success.Meantime he was constantly engaging in literary ventures. WhenPunchwas founded, in 1841, he at once became a contributor, and he continued the connection until his death. "Mrs. Caudle's Curtain Lectures," "Punch's Letters to His Son," and "Cakes and Ale" are well-known compilations of his papers inPunch.Jerrold was a lovable man, of an easy-going, generous nature. Sociable, impulsive, simple, fiery—his faults were those of carelessness or haste.WhenMrs. Caudlewas brought into public notice in the forties, the type was quickly recognized, and England and America chuckled aloud.Mrs. Caudlestill lives—and will live as long as her sex; therefore, England and America still chuckle.
Editor, humorist, playwright, humanitarian, Douglas William Jerrold—to give him his seldom heard full name—was a winning figure in his period. He was born in London in 1803, the son of an actor and theater lessee. He had little schooling, but he was fond of books, and educated himself precociously by reading a wide range of literature in English, French, Italian, and Latin. Occasionally his father cast him for children's parts on the stage. For a time he served as a midshipman in the British navy, and later became a printer's apprentice. He was only fifteen when he wrote a comedy, "More Frightened Than Hurt," which was well received. His best-remembered play, "Black-Eyed Susan," was produced in 1829. All in all, he wrote more than forty plays, many of which enjoyed an ephemeral success.Meantime he was constantly engaging in literary ventures. WhenPunchwas founded, in 1841, he at once became a contributor, and he continued the connection until his death. "Mrs. Caudle's Curtain Lectures," "Punch's Letters to His Son," and "Cakes and Ale" are well-known compilations of his papers inPunch.Jerrold was a lovable man, of an easy-going, generous nature. Sociable, impulsive, simple, fiery—his faults were those of carelessness or haste.WhenMrs. Caudlewas brought into public notice in the forties, the type was quickly recognized, and England and America chuckled aloud.Mrs. Caudlestill lives—and will live as long as her sex; therefore, England and America still chuckle.
Editor, humorist, playwright, humanitarian, Douglas William Jerrold—to give him his seldom heard full name—was a winning figure in his period. He was born in London in 1803, the son of an actor and theater lessee. He had little schooling, but he was fond of books, and educated himself precociously by reading a wide range of literature in English, French, Italian, and Latin. Occasionally his father cast him for children's parts on the stage. For a time he served as a midshipman in the British navy, and later became a printer's apprentice. He was only fifteen when he wrote a comedy, "More Frightened Than Hurt," which was well received. His best-remembered play, "Black-Eyed Susan," was produced in 1829. All in all, he wrote more than forty plays, many of which enjoyed an ephemeral success.Meantime he was constantly engaging in literary ventures. WhenPunchwas founded, in 1841, he at once became a contributor, and he continued the connection until his death. "Mrs. Caudle's Curtain Lectures," "Punch's Letters to His Son," and "Cakes and Ale" are well-known compilations of his papers inPunch.Jerrold was a lovable man, of an easy-going, generous nature. Sociable, impulsive, simple, fiery—his faults were those of carelessness or haste.WhenMrs. Caudlewas brought into public notice in the forties, the type was quickly recognized, and England and America chuckled aloud.Mrs. Caudlestill lives—and will live as long as her sex; therefore, England and America still chuckle.
Editor, humorist, playwright, humanitarian, Douglas William Jerrold—to give him his seldom heard full name—was a winning figure in his period. He was born in London in 1803, the son of an actor and theater lessee. He had little schooling, but he was fond of books, and educated himself precociously by reading a wide range of literature in English, French, Italian, and Latin. Occasionally his father cast him for children's parts on the stage. For a time he served as a midshipman in the British navy, and later became a printer's apprentice. He was only fifteen when he wrote a comedy, "More Frightened Than Hurt," which was well received. His best-remembered play, "Black-Eyed Susan," was produced in 1829. All in all, he wrote more than forty plays, many of which enjoyed an ephemeral success.Meantime he was constantly engaging in literary ventures. WhenPunchwas founded, in 1841, he at once became a contributor, and he continued the connection until his death. "Mrs. Caudle's Curtain Lectures," "Punch's Letters to His Son," and "Cakes and Ale" are well-known compilations of his papers inPunch.Jerrold was a lovable man, of an easy-going, generous nature. Sociable, impulsive, simple, fiery—his faults were those of carelessness or haste.WhenMrs. Caudlewas brought into public notice in the forties, the type was quickly recognized, and England and America chuckled aloud.Mrs. Caudlestill lives—and will live as long as her sex; therefore, England and America still chuckle.
Editor, humorist, playwright, humanitarian, Douglas William Jerrold—to give him his seldom heard full name—was a winning figure in his period. He was born in London in 1803, the son of an actor and theater lessee. He had little schooling, but he was fond of books, and educated himself precociously by reading a wide range of literature in English, French, Italian, and Latin. Occasionally his father cast him for children's parts on the stage. For a time he served as a midshipman in the British navy, and later became a printer's apprentice. He was only fifteen when he wrote a comedy, "More Frightened Than Hurt," which was well received. His best-remembered play, "Black-Eyed Susan," was produced in 1829. All in all, he wrote more than forty plays, many of which enjoyed an ephemeral success.
Meantime he was constantly engaging in literary ventures. WhenPunchwas founded, in 1841, he at once became a contributor, and he continued the connection until his death. "Mrs. Caudle's Curtain Lectures," "Punch's Letters to His Son," and "Cakes and Ale" are well-known compilations of his papers inPunch.
Jerrold was a lovable man, of an easy-going, generous nature. Sociable, impulsive, simple, fiery—his faults were those of carelessness or haste.
WhenMrs. Caudlewas brought into public notice in the forties, the type was quickly recognized, and England and America chuckled aloud.Mrs. Caudlestill lives—and will live as long as her sex; therefore, England and America still chuckle.
You ought to be very rich, Mr. Caudle. I wonder who'd lend you five pounds! But so it is: a wife may work and slave. Oh, dear! the many things that might have been done with five pounds! As if people picked up money in the streets! But you alwayswerea fool, Mr. Caudle! I've wanted a black satin gown these three years, and that five pounds would have pretty well bought it. But it's no matter how I go—not at all. Everybody says I don't dress as becomes your wife—and I don't; but what's that to you, Mr. Caudle? Nothing. Oh, no! You can have fine feelings for everybody but those that belong to you. I wish people knew you as I do—that's all. You like to be called liberal and your poor family pays for it.
And the girls want bonnets, and when they're to get 'em I can't tell. Half five pounds would have bought 'em, but now they must go without. Of coursetheybelong to you; and anybody but your own flesh and blood, Mr. Caudle.
The man called for the water-rate to-day; but I should like to know how people are to pay taxes who throw away five pounds to every fellow that asks them.
Perhaps you don't know that Jack, this morning, knocked the shuttlecockthrough his bedroom window. I was going to send for the glazier to mend it; but, after you lent that five pounds, I was sure we couldn't afford it. Oh, no; the window must go as it is; and pretty weather for a dear child to sleep with a broken window. He's got a cold already on his lungs, and I shouldn't at all wonder if that broken window settled him; if the dear boy dies, his death will be upon his father's head, for I'm sure we can't now pay to mend windows. We might, though, and do a good many more things, if people didn't throw away their five pounds.
Next Tuesday the fire-insurance is due. I should like to know how it's to be paid. Why, it can't be paid at all. That five pounds would have just done it, and now insurance is out of the question. And there never were so many fires as there are now. I shall never close my eyes all night; but what's that to you, so people can call you liberal, Mr. Caudle? Your wife and children may all be burnt alive in their beds, as all of us to a certainty shall be, for the insurance must drop. After we've insured for so many years! But how, I should like to know, are people to insure who make ducks and drakes of their five pounds?
I did think we might go to Margate this summer. There's poor Caroline, I'm sure she wants the sea. But no, dear creature, she must stop at home; she'll go into a consumption, there's no doubt of that; yes, sweet little angel. I've made up my mind to lose her now. The child might have been saved; but people can't save their children and throw away five pounds, too.
I wonder where little Cherub is? While you were lending that five pounds, the dog ran out of the shop. You know I never let it go into the street, for fear it should be bit by some mad dog and come home and bite the children. It wouldn't at all astonish me if the animal was to come back with hydrophobia and give it to all the family. However, what's your family to you, so you can play the liberal creature with five pounds?
Do you hear that shutter, how it's banging to and fro? Yes, I know what it wants as well as you: it wants a new fastening. I was going to send for the blacksmith to-day. But now it's out of the question: now it must bang of nights, since you have thrown away five pounds.
Well, things have come to a pretty pass! This is the first night I ever made my supper of roast beef without pickles. But who is to afford pickles when folk are always lending five pounds?
Do you hear the mice running about the room? I hear them. If they were only to drag you out of bed, it would be no matter.Set a trap for 'em?But how are people to afford the cheese, when every day they lose five pounds?
Hark! I'm sure there's a noise down-stairs. It wouldn't surprise me if there were thieves in the house. Well, it may be the cat; but thieves are pretty sure to come some night. There's a wretched fastening to the back door; but these are not times to afford bolts and bars, when fools won't take care of their five pounds.
Mary Anne ought to have gone to the dentist's to-morrow. She wants three teeth pulled out. Now it can't be done. Three teeth, that quite disfigures the child's mouth. But there they must stop, and spoil the sweetest face that was ever made. Otherwise she'd have been the wife for a lord. Now, when she grows up, who'll have her? Nobody. We shall die, and leave her alone and unprotected in the world. But what do you care for that? Nothing; so you can squander away five pounds.
And now, Mr. Caudle, see what misery you've brought on your wretched family! I can't have a satin gown—the girls can't have new bonnets—the water-rate must stand over—Jack must get his death through a broken window—our fire-insurance can't be paid, so we shall all be victims to the devouring element—we can't go to Margate, and Caroline will go to an early grave—the dog will come home and bite us all mad—that shutter will go banging forever—the mice never let us have a wink of sleep—the thieves be always breaking in the house—and our dear Mary Anne be forever left an unprotected maid—and all, all, Mr. Caudle,because you will go on lending five pounds!
Brief Biographies of Successful Men Who Have Passed Throughthe Crucible of Small Beginnings and Won Out.
Compiled and edited forThe Scrap Book.
Present Head of Stanford University Hada Hard Row to Hoe in Order toGet an Education.
David Starr Jordan, president of Stanford University and the leading authority on fishes in the United States, was a farm boy from Gainsville, New York, when he joined the first class that entered Cornell University. He had little money, but he got along comfortably by waiting on table, husking corn, taking care of lawns, digging ditches and tutoring. It was the proper way to work through college, for he says: "A young man is not worth educating who cannot work through college that way."
He became an instructor in botany while still a junior, and he did so well that he attracted the attention of Andrew D. White, president of the university, who encouraged him and aided him in his work. The rounding of Jordan's education was completed by Louis Agassiz, with whom he studied three months in a shed on Penikese Island in Buzzard's Bay.
Jordan's attention was early drawn to the study of fishes, and the general ignorance concerning them determined him to make them his special line of work. As a source of food supply, fish stands close to meat, and millions of people depend on the fish supply rather than on meat. Yet concerning the habits, breeding, and geographical distribution of fish, there was little known. In studying his chosen subject Jordan has traveled more than two hundred thousand miles, and to-day he is the accepted authority on fish. Much of the important work accomplished by the United States Fish Commission, of which he has been a member since 1877, has been due to his initiative.
The value of American fisheries averages fifty million dollars annually, but for a long time the business was carried on in a haphazard fashion, and few naturalists thought it worth while to devote any considerable amount of attention to the study of fishes. Jordan did as much to change that state of affairs as any other man.
The breeding of food fish, now extensively carried on by the United States Government, is largely the result of his advice, and he has greatly increased the efficiency of the fishers by placing at their disposal new knowledge concerning the habits and migrations of food fish.
His work in connection with the fisheries was only part of what he has managed to crowd into a busy life. As professor of zoology at Indiana University he stimulated his pupils to a thorough study of their subject, and his influence in this department was felt even outside the university. It was while he was in Indiana that he was called to the presidency of Leland Stanford University. His first work was to bring together a faculty.
A big trunk full of applications for positions was turned over to him, and he was told he could do what he liked with them. He never opened the trunk. He knew the men he wanted for the various positions, and he drew them from Cornell and Indiana. To this day Jordandoes not know even the names of the applicants.
The students who come under the influence of Dr. Jordan do not have a life of scholastic ease and idleness. Their president has said, "The problem of life is not to make life easier, but to make men stronger."
He accepted the presidency of Stanford University with the distinct understanding that he was to do nothing that it was possible to hire another man to do. As a result he has had a free hand, and has devoted himself to the larger affairs of the university's development. The result is that Stanford in a short time has been able to push well to the front as a solid and progressive place of learning.
Dr. Jordan is straightforward in his methods and utterances.
"You can't fasten a five-thousand-dollar education on a fifty-cent boy," he said, and that dictum has been his guide in conducting the university.
Ambitious Manufacturer Died Poor, butHe Bequeathed His Great Purposeto His Young Son.
Friedrich Krupp, the founder of the Krupp steel industry, died with all the work he had outlined uncompleted, but he died satisfied that all he had wished to do and all he had planned would in the course of time be brought to fulfilment. This first Krupp possessed a little money, and in 1818 he built a tiny furnace at Essen, in Prussia, and started in to manufacture steel. His declared intention was to make the little Prussian town of Essen a greater steel center than Sheffield, England.
In four years he lost all his money and his home. He moved to a small cottage, borrowed a few thousand marks, and again began operations. In four years more his health was shattered, the borrowed money was gone, and he died in absolute poverty.
The heir to his debts and his desire to manufacture steel was Alfred Krupp, a boy fourteen years old. The only thing else the boy had was the dilapidated furnace around which his father worked until it killed him. There was, however, a command from his father that he was resolved to obey.
"You are to make Essen the most famous steel-manufacturing place in the world," the dying Krupp had said. "Your mother will help you do it."
The boy and his mother then began to conduct the business. There were four workmen ready to assist them, and ready to trust them for the future payment of the wages that could not be paid during the first few months of operation.
Success came slowly. Every foot of the way had to be fought. Prussian-made steel was mistrusted, for at that time England was supreme in the art of steel-working. But the elder Krupp had been on the right track, and would have won if his strength had held out. Alfred Krupp, though a boy, was not afraid to do a man's work in the foundry during the day, and at night he attended to the business end of affairs. His mother assisted him in everything, working in the office, soliciting orders, performing the work of an overseer in the foundry, and attending to the household. By the time young Krupp was twenty-one the business had begun to move, and he was employing a score of workmen.
When the business was on such a solid basis that the future was assured, Alfred Krupp was urged to marry. He steadfastly refused. His father had left to him the task of looking after his mother, as well as that of building up the business of steel-making, and it was not until after Mrs. Krupp died in 1852 that her son took a wife.
Even when the business had begun to prosper, all was not easy for him. The Prussian government placed obstacles in his way, and it was not until 1859 that he received a government order for cannon. The "Cannon King" had at last been recognized, and it was he who thereafter armed the Prussian soldiers, and he made the batteries that wrought such havoc in the French forces in the war of 1870.
When he died in 1887 he left a plant in which twenty thousand men were employed. In Essen alone, at the present time, fifty thousand men find work, and at the Krupp shipyards, where the German battleships are constructed, and in the subsidiary Krupp industries, fifty thousand more are employed.
Man Destined to Revolutionize StreetRailway Traffic Unwittingly CausedProspective "Angel" to Flee.
Frank J. Sprague, formerly president of the American Institute of Electrical Engineers, founder of the Sprague Electric Railway and Motor Company, and builder of the Richmond trolley line, was, in 1883, a lieutenant in the American navy. A future with a moderate amount of success was assured, and fame was possible. He was determined, however, to devote his attention to the study of electricity as a motive power. At that time there did not exist a single mile of trolley-line.
His friends vainly tried to dissuade him. He went to work with Edison to increase the knowledge of motors he had already acquired in the navy. He remained a year at Menlo Park and then organized the Sprague Electric Railway and Motor Company. It was capitalized at one hundred thousand dollars with nothing paid in. He was vice-president, electrician, treasurer, and man of all work, and was to get fifty dollars a week whenever the condition of the company warranted it.
One small room was both business office and laboratory. He earned a little money by building motors, and this enabled him, in 1886, to begin a series of experiments with motors of twelve horse-power. Officials from the Manhattan Elevated were interested in the trials, and one day Jay Gould came to see the new motors that could drive a truck along sixty feet of track.
The day Gould visited him, Sprague resolved to test the motor to the utmost. In suddenly reversing the current, an excess blew out the safety-catch, causing a big noise and a blinding flash of light. Gould gazed a moment, then hurried from the room and never came back.
Sprague was somewhat discouraged, but his confidence came back when Superintendent Chinnock, of the Pearl Street Edison station, offered him thirty thousand dollars for a one-sixth interest in the company. The offer was refused, though at the time Sprague did not have money enough to pay a month's board.
"Well," said the surprised Chinnock, "you're a fool!"
A few days later a successful trial was made before Cyrus W. Field, and Chinnock came back with an offer of twenty-five thousand dollars for a one-twelfth share. This was accepted, and later another twelfth was sold for a slightly higher price. The motors used in these experiments were the forerunners of the thousands now used on the trolley systems all over the world.
The first big public exhibition was given in August, 1887, and the New YorkSunsaid next day:
They tried an electric car on Fourth Avenue yesterday. It created an amount of surprise and consternation from Thirty-Second Street to One Hundred and Seventeenth Street that was something like that caused by the first steamboat on the Hudson. Small boys yelled "Dynamite!" and "Rats!" and similar appreciative remarks until they were hoarse. Newly appointed policemen debated arresting it, but went no further. The car horses which were met on the other track kicked, without exception, as was natural, over an invention which threatens to relegate them to the sausage factory.
They tried an electric car on Fourth Avenue yesterday. It created an amount of surprise and consternation from Thirty-Second Street to One Hundred and Seventeenth Street that was something like that caused by the first steamboat on the Hudson. Small boys yelled "Dynamite!" and "Rats!" and similar appreciative remarks until they were hoarse. Newly appointed policemen debated arresting it, but went no further. The car horses which were met on the other track kicked, without exception, as was natural, over an invention which threatens to relegate them to the sausage factory.
All that happened only nineteen years ago. To-day the trolley-lines of the country employ more than seventy thousand men.
The same year Sprague's company got the contract for the building of the Union Passenger Railroad at Richmond, Virginia. The methods were still primitive, but the success was unequivocal. The hills of Richmond, up which the mule, dragging a little car, had hitherto toiled, were now easily surmounted by smoothly running cars that could attain fair speed, and which operated with almost perfect precision.
The utility of the trolley road had been demonstrated on a large scale, and the old horse-car lines were equipped as speedily as possible for electric traction; new roads, embodying the new principle, were built, and hundreds of other roads were projected.
The stock of the Sprague concern, which went begging in 1885 and a twelfth of which could be bought for twenty-five thousand dollars two years later, went soaring, and the question of capital for the carrying out of experiments or for equipping projected lines, could now be had for the asking.
That Was Why the Man Who Was toBuild the Subway Resigned HisPosition as a Municipal Clerk.
John B. McDonald, the builder of the New York City Subway, began work in the New York office of the Registry of Deeds. The work was easy and the pay was fairly good. On the whole, it was just such a place as thousands would look upon as highly desirable. McDonald thought otherwise, and during his spare time he studied hard at scientific subjects. He had been in the place a year when he came home one night with the announcement:
"I've thrown up my job."
"Why?"
"I want real work, and I'm going to have it."
He got it as timekeeper at the building of Boyd's Dam, part of the Croton water system. The work was just what he wanted, and it was not long before he became a foreman. Here his real ability showed itself, and he made such progress that when he was twenty-three he was inspector of masonry on the New York Central tunnel. Here he made his first bid for a sub-contract, and it was accepted. The first work he ever did as a builder was the big arch at Ninety-Sixth Street. He got other big contracts on the Boston and Hoosac Tunnel, the building of the Lackawanna road from Binghamton to Buffalo, the Georgian Bay branch of the Canadian Pacific, and a dozen other roads in various parts of the country.
All this was easy for him, and it was not until he began the tunnel under Baltimore for the Baltimore and Ohio Railroad that he got the real work he wanted. It was a tunnel through mud and quicksands, a tunnel that subterranean streams threatened constantly to destroy. Every day, in rubber coat and hip-boots, for five years, he worked at it, surmounting one obstacle after another, and finished a winner, having carried through one of the hardest underground jobs ever attempted.
While he was doing this he built the Jerome Park Reservoir—so as to keep himself busy, he said.
When he put in a bid five million dollars lower than his next competitor for the building of the New York Subway there was at first some hitch over the seven-million-dollar security demanded, and his rival was asked if he expected to get the contract by default.
"No," he said, "McDonald has that contract and he'll keep it. He never lets go."
Interesting Story of a Young TenderfootWho Won Fortune, Fame, and PoliticalHonors in the West.
Edward O. Wolcott, the late Senator from Colorado, was one of the young Eastern men who set out, shortly after the Civil War, to explore the resources of the West.
For a time the struggle to make a living was a difficult one; but, quick to realize the low value that the pioneers placed upon Puritan ancestry and a collegiate education, he became successively a bank clerk, ticket seller for a theatrical company, and railroad employee, until he drifted to the small mining town of Georgetown, in the heart of the Colorado Rockies. There, at last, the reputation of "having an education" proved useful. The position of schoolmaster was offered to Mr. Wolcott and was accepted.
Gradually the city of Denver began to hear of the schoolmaster of Georgetown. His name was encountered frequently in the records as the possessor of various mining interests—oftentimes deeded to him for legal services in lieu of money consideration. Everything he touched seemed to pan out rich; and this brought him followers as adventurous as himself and ready to back his judgment with cash.
Finally, in 1890, two prospectors having exhausted their grubstake were returning wearily over the hills of Creede, when during a brief halt one of their burros wandered off to prospect for himself. After a long search, one of the prospectors found the animal standing in front of a large boulder. In telling the story afterward, the prospector never could tell whether the seemingly hypnotized gaze of the burro or something peculiar in the appearance of the outcrop attracted his attention; but he recalled with little difficulty that, after chipping off a few chunks from the ledge with a hammer and minutely examining them, he set rough stakes in short order.
The following day, provided with assay certificates showing very rich results, the miners sought the schoolmaster and offered to sell him a large interest in their discovery for a small amount of development money.
Always a man quick to clinch his opportunities, Wolcott put the money up on the spot. In six months' time "The Last Chance Silver Mine" repaid its outlay, and later yielded to him a couple of millions more.
Future President May Have Sought Employmenton Canal Because of HisFondness for Sea Stories.
James A. Garfield was reared in the forests of Ohio. When he was not engaged at work on the farm, he was reading all the books that he could get hold of, especially those pertaining to the sea, for which he had a passion. Supposedly, it was this that influenced him to obtain one of his first jobs—the driving of mules which towed the canal-boat between Cleveland and Pittsburgh. After a severe attack of illness, contracted after a plunge into the canal, he began to educate himself.
He entered Geauga Seminary, then went to Williams College, and afterward to Hiram. It was at this time that he suffered the worst poverty of his career, for frequently he was obliged to stay in bed while his landlady darned his clothes. Seeing the young man's discouragement, she told him to cheer up, and that he would forget all about it when he became President.
In after life he said: "Poverty is uncomfortable, I can testify; but nine times out of ten the best thing that can happen to a young man is to be tossed overboard and compelled to sink or swim for himself." And on another occasion: "I feel a profounder reverence for a boy than for a man; and I never meet a ragged boy in the street without feeling that I may owe him a salute, for I know not what possibilities may be buttoned up under his coat."
At the close of Garfield's college life he went into a law office in Cleveland; from there to the Ohio Senate, and then to the Civil War, after which he was elected to the House of Representatives.
The Boy Who Was Paid Seven Centsfor the Job Is Turning Over ManyMillions Now.
John Wanamaker once received seven copper cents for turning over bricks to dry in the sun. This was the first sum of money that the successful merchant can remember having earned; but his first regular position, which paid him a dollar and a quarter per week, was in a bookstore in Philadelphia.
At that time it was the boy's intention to become a clergyman, and partly in preparation for such a calling, he became a member of the Young Men's Christian Association. A remark made by one of its members was responsible for the change in his intentions, for he intimated to young Wanamaker that if he worked as hard for himself as he did for the association he would become a rich man. Acting on this advice, the boy obtained a situation as stock clerk in a large clothing establishment.
After passing successively through the various grades of clerks and salesmen, he finally formed a partnership with his brother-in-law to go into the clothing trade. Their joint capital was thirty-five hundred dollars. On the first day the firm did a business of twenty-four dollars and sixty-seven cents, and for the year, twenty-four thousand dollars. But although year after year the business increased, Wanamaker never lost interestin religious gatherings. Among other things, he founded a Sabbath-school, which, commencing with only twenty-seven pupils, has grown into the Bethany of to-day, with its several thousand members.
Always abstemious in his way of living and credited with many acts of generosity, it is related that one day, on being requested for the story of his life, Mr. Wanamaker replied:
"Thinking, trying, toiling, and trusting—in those four words you have all of my biography."
Massachusetts Newsboy Gets an Attackof Wanderlust and Finds Fortune inPennsylvania Wells.
H.H. Rogers, future master builder of industrial organizations, did odd chores for the neighbors, in Fairhaven, Massachusetts, when a boy, and earned on the average fifty cents a week. His first step in real business was when he established a news route of forty-seven subscribers for the New BedfordStandard. In one week he doubled the number and struck for seventy-five cents more a week than the seventy-five cents he was receiving. This was granted and he also got an increased commission on new subscribers. A few months in a grocery store completed his Fairhaven business experience, and then, with Charles Ellis, a schoolfellow, he went to the Pennsylvania oil fields to make his fortune. Each had about two hundred dollars and they started in the refining business. It did not go the way Rogers wished, so he said to Ellis:
"Look here, I am going to learn the oil business. You run the office."
Rogers put on overalls and went to work at the pumps and stills. He was there early and late, working at everything, investigating, getting a grip on every detail, learning how the business could be run on the most economical basis and at the same time give the best quality of product. When he returned to office work the organization of the Standard Oil was under way. It was the knowledge he had gained at the stills that enabled him to figure down the cost of production to the fraction of a cent. It was he, also, who was the leading factor in the elimination of competition.
Financier Who Retired from Business atForty Assumes Direction of GreatRailroad at Fifty-Seven.
Alexander Johnston Cassatt retired independently wealthy at the age of forty, and seventeen years later he returned to dominate one of the largest railroads in the country. He was born in Pittsburgh. Though poor, his parents gave him a good education. He became a civil engineer, and the first work he got to do was on a road being built in Georgia. He remained in the South two years, but on the breaking out of the Civil War he returned North, and entered the service of the Pennsylvania Railroad.
Cassatt's ability won rapid promotion. In nine years he built new roads, reorganized the company's shops, and improved the construction of cars and locomotives. Then, when he was thirty-one years old, the position of general manager was created for him.
One of the first things he did in this position was to introduce the air-brake, which at that time received scant encouragement from railroad men. Cassatt was told that it was useless. His experiments cost thousands of dollars, but they established the practicability of the air-brake.
It was Cassatt also who developed the idea of combining individual roads into one great system. In 1872 he executed a grand coup and purchased for the Pennsylvania the controlling stock of the Philadelphia, Wilmington, and Baltimore Road, a line the Baltimore and Ohio people had tried to obtain. It took Cassatt one night to engineer the deal, and in payment for the stock a check for $14,549,052.20 was drawn—up to that time the largest on record.
Cassatt was first vice-president of the road when he withdrew in 1882, and for seventeen years he remained out of railroad affairs. When he returned it was as president of the Pennsylvania system, a position he still holds.
This Sort of Language Doesn't Wear Any Dictionary Harness, So It Has to Be Put in aClass by Itself, and Made the Subject of Special Study.
One of the characteristics of the "yellow journal" is that while it usually says what it means, it does not always mean just what it says. It has a system of phraseology that is peculiar to itself, and one who would read it intelligently must familiarize himself with the idiosyncrasies of "yellow" expression. Some of these idiosyncrasies have been carefully collected by the New YorkSun:
PRETTY GIRL—Any unmarried human female less than thirty-five years old who gets into the news.
SOCIETY MATRON—Any married woman, from a bartender's wife up through the social grades, who gets into the news.
SOCIETY GIRL—Synonymous with "pretty girl." See above.
NOT EXPECTED TO RECOVER—Phrase applied to the condition of all persons injured in course of news story.
PROMINENT YALE GRADUATE—Any one wearing a boiled shirt, arrested for anything above a misdemeanor.
MULTIMILLIONAIRE—Person possessed of property worth fifty thousand dollars or over, or a relative of a person listed in theSocial Register. Up to three years ago "millionaire" was used in the same sense.
THIRTY-TWO CALIBER, PEARL HANDLED—Phrase which must always be attached to the noun "revolver," unless otherwise ordered.
TOT—Any child under seven. In a pathetic story the adjective "tiny" must always be prefixed.
PLUCKY WOMAN—Any woman who did not scream.
HEROINE—Principal female character in any burglary story. Otherwise synonymous with "plucky woman," q.v.
PROMINENT CLUBMAN—Any bachelor leasing apartments at thirty dollars a month and upward. Also members of the Paul Kelley and Timothy D. Sullivan associations who happen to be arrested while wearing dress suits.
FATALLY INJURED—See "not expected to recover," above.
FASHIONABLE APARTMENT HOUSE—Any dwelling which has an elevator.
TODDLE—Verb applied to the walk of a tiny tot. See under "tot" for correct usage.
WELL DRESSED—Phrase always applied to a woman who, when arrested, is comparatively clean. Must be used in a story about a prominent clubman, q.v. as above.
SNUG SUM—Money.
RAFFLES—Any thief who wears a collar.
CRISP FIVE-DOLLAR BILL—Five dollars.
COZY.—Adjective always applied to home to which the remains are taken.
WUZ—Synonymous with "was," but indicates dialect.
HURLED—Motion of passengers, cars, and cabs at the time of the accident.
FAINT—Course taken by all the women within six blocks of the accident.
SCREAM—See "faint," above.
DASH—Gait of the crowd at the time of the accident. "Rush" is synonymous. "Run" is not good usage.
HEIR—Child having three hundred dollars coming to him from a life insurance policy.
RING OUT—What shots always do.
HURTLE—Verb used of motion of any falling object, especially a brick or a suicide.
HAVOC—Good word to use almost anywhere.
HIGH—Adjective which must be prefixed to noun "noon" in the account of a fashionable wedding.
SLAY—Synonymous with obsolete verb "kill."
JUGGLE—What is always done with the funds of a bank or trust company.
COLLEGE GIRL—Any woman who has ever gone to school.
BANDIT—Person guilty of crime against property for which the penalty is more than ten days in jail.
BURLY—Adjective always applied to a male negro.
PROMINENT—Descriptive adjective applied to farmers, plumbers, and dentists.
BOUDOIR—Any bedroom the rent of which is more than one dollar and a half a week.
GLOBE TROTTER—Any one who has been to Hohokus, N.J., Kittery, Me., or Peru, Ind.
GEMS—Personal ornaments worth more than one dollar and seventy-five cents.
This story is told about ex-Senator J. S. Clark, of Calais, Maine: One day, while awaiting his turn in a barber-shop in Calais, he was talking with a friend, and was so deeply interested in the conversation that he allowed his pipe to go out several times. Each time he would ask Melvin Noble, a local practical joker, for a match.
About the time he wanted the fifth match, Noble said: "I don't begrudge you the matches, Jed, but I think it would be cheaper for you to put a grate in your pipe and burn coal."—Boston Herald.
Feebles (about to be operated upon for appendicitis)—Doctor, before you begin, I wish you would send and have our pastor, the Rev. Mr. Blank, come over.
Dr. Sawem—Certainly, if you wish it, but—ah——
Feebles—I'd like to be opened with prayer.—Exchange.
Whitcomb Riley was looking over a fence on his farm at a field of rye, when a neighbor who was driving by stopped his horse and asked:
"Hullo, Mr. Riley, how's your rye doing?"
"Fine, fine," replied the poet.
"How much do you expect to clear to the acre?"
"Oh, about four gallons," answered Mr. Riley, soberly.—Success.
"Have you felt slippers, sir?" she said.
The boy clerk blushed and scratched his head.
Then, smiling back, he found his tongue:
"I felt 'em often when I was young."
Boston Herald.
Henry Vignaud, secretary of the American embassy at Paris, enjoys telling of an American who was being shown the tomb of Napoleon. As the loquacious guide referred to the various points of interest in connection with the tomb, the American paid the greatest attention to all that was said.
"This immense sarcophagus," declaimed the guide, "weighs forty tons. Inside of that, sir, is a steel receptacle weighing twelve tons, and inside of that is a leaden casket, hermetically sealed, weighing over two tons. Inside of that rests a mahogany coffin containing the remains of the great man."
For a moment the American was silent, as if in deep meditation. Then he said:
"It seems to me that you've got him all right. If he ever gets out, cable me at my expense."—Success.
"Did you ever get into Brown's confidence?"
"Oh, yes; it was costly, too."
"What was costly?"
"To get out."—Yonkers Herald.