At this moment there came a drove of Quakers, who wanted to go in with their hats upon their heads, but they were turned back for their unmannerly behaviour. After that, some of the children of the barn, who had been there for some time, began to speak. “We have,” said they, “no other statute than you, therefore show us our dignity.” “Stay,” said the glittering porter, looking them fixedly in the face, “and I will show you something. Do you see yonder,” said he, “the rent which you made in the church, that you might go out of it, without the slightest cause or reason? and now, what do you want here? Go back to the narrow gate, wash yourselves well in the fountain of repentance, in order to free yourselves from some of the kingly blood, in which you steeped yourselves formerly; bring some of that water to moisten the clay, to close up the rent yonder, and then, and then only, you shall be welcome.” But before we had proceeded a rood farther towards the west, we heard a buzz amongst the princes above, and every one, great and small, seized his arms, and proceeded to harness himself as if for battle; and before we had time to espy a place to flee to, the whole air became dark, and the city was more deeply over-shadowed than during an eclipse; the thunder began to roar, and the lightnings to dart forkedly, and a ceaseless shower of mortal arrows, was directed from the gates below, against the catholic church; and unless every one had had a shield in his hand to receive the fiery darts, and unless the foundation stone had been too strong for any thing to make an impression upon it, you would have seen the whole in conflagration. But alas! this was but the prologue, or a foretaste of what was to follow; for the darknessspeedily became seven times blacker, andBelialhimself appeared upon the densest cloud, and around him were his choicest warriors, both terrestrial and infernal, to receive and execute his will, on their particular sides. He had enjoined the Pope, and the king of France, his other son, to destroy the church of England and its queen; and the Turk and the Muscovite, to break to pieces the other parts of the Church, and to slay the people; the queen and the other princes, were by no means to be spared; and the Bible was to be burned in spite of every thing. The first thing which the queen and the other saints did, was to fall upon their knees, and complain of their wrongs to the King of kings, in these words:—“The spreading of his wings covereth the extent of thy land,O Emmanuel!” Isaiah 8. iii. This complaint was answered by a voice, which said, “resist the devil and he will flee from you;” and then ensued the hardest and most stubborn engagement, which had ever been upon the earth. When thesword of the Spiritbegan to be waved, Belial and his infernal legions began to retreat, and the Pope to falter. The king of France, it is true, held out; yet even he nearly lost heart, for he saw the queen and her subjects united and prosperous, whilst his own ships were sunk, his soldiers slaughtered, and thousands of his subjects rebelling. The very Turk was becoming as gentle as a lamb; but just at that moment my heavenly associate quitted me, darting up towards the firmament, to myriads of other shining powers, and my dream was at an end. Yes, just as the Pope and the other terrestrial powers, were beginning to sneak away, and to faint, and the potentates of hell to fall by tens of thousands, each making, to my imagination’s ear, as much noise as if a huge mountain had been precipitated into the depths of the sea, my companion quitted me, andthere was an end of my dream; for what with the noise made by the fiends, and the agitation which I felt at losing my companion, I awoke from my sleep, and returned with the utmost reluctance to my sluggish clod, thinking how noble and delightful it was to be afreespirit, to wander about in angelic company, quite secure, though seemingly in the midst of peril. I had now nothing to console me, save the Muse, and she being half angry, would do nothing more than bleat to me the following strains.
O man, upon this building gaze,The mansion of the human race,The world terrestrial see!Its architect’s the King on high,Who ne’er was born and ne’er will die—The blest Divinity.The world, its wall, its starlights all,Its stores, where’er they lie,Its wondrous brute variety,Its reptiles, fish, and birds that fly,
And cannot number’d be,The God above, to show his love,Did give, O man, to thee.For man, for man, whom he did plan,God caus’d ariseThis edifice,Equal to heaven in all but size,Beneath the sun so fair;Then it he view’d, and that ’twas goodFor man, he was aware.
Man only sought to know at firstEvil, and of the thing accursedObtain a sample small.The sample grew a giantess,’Tis easy from her size to guessThe whole her prey will fall.Cellar and turret high,Through hell’s dark treachery,Now reeling, rocking terribly,In swooning pangs appear;The orchards round, are only foundVile sedge and weeds to bear;The roof gives way, more, more each day,The walls too, spiteOf all their might,Have frightful cracks, down all their height,Which coming ruin show;The dragons tell, that danger fell,Now lurks the house below.
O man! this building fair and proud,From its foundation to the cloud,Is all in dangerous plight;Beneath thee quakes and shakes the ground;’Tis all, e’en down to hell’s profound,A bog that scares the sight.The sin man wrought, the deluge brought,And without failA fiery gale,Before which every thing shall quail,His deeds shall waken now;Worse evermore, till all is o’er,Thy case, O world, shall grow.There’s one place free, yet, man for thee,Where mercies reign,A place to which thou may’st attain,Seek there a residence to gainLest thou in caverns howl;For save thou there shalt quick repair,Woe to thy wretched soul!
Towards yon building turn your face!Too strong by far is yonder placeTo lose the victory.’Tis better than the reeling world;For all the ills by hell uphurl’dIt has a remedy.Sublime it braves the wildest waves;It is a refuge placeImpregnable to Belial’s race,With stones, emitting vivid rays,Above its stately porch;Itself, and those therein, composeThe universal church.Though slaves of sin we long have been,With faith sincereWe shall win pardon there;Then in let’s press, O, brethren dear,And claim our dignity!By doing so, we saints belowAnd saints on high shall be.
In one of the long, black, chilly nights of winter, when it was much warmer in a kitchen of Glyn-cywarch, than on the summit of Cadair Idris, and much more pleasant to be in a snug chamber, with a warm bed-fellow, than in a shroud in the church yard, I was mussing upon some discourses which had passed between me and a neighbour, uponthe shortness of human life, and how certain every one is of dying, and how uncertain as to the time. Whilst thus engaged, having but newly laid my head down upon the pillow, and being about half awake, I felt a great weight coming stealthily upon me, from the crown of my head to my heel, so that I could not stir a finger, nor any thing except my tongue, and beheld a lad upon my breast, and a lass mounted upon his back. On looking sharply, I guessed, from the warm smell which came from him, his clammy locks, and his gummy eyes, that the lad must bemaster Sleep. “Pray, sir,” said I, squealing, “what have I done to you, that you bring that witch here to suffocate me?” “Hush,” said he, “it is only my sisterNightmare;we are both going to visit our brotherDeath, and have need of a third, and lest you should resist, we have come upon you without warning, as he himself will sometime; therefore you must come, whether you will or not.” “Alas!” said I, “must I die?” “O no,” saidNightmare; “we will spare you this time.” “But with your favour,” said I, “your brother Death never spared any one yet who was brought within reach of his dart; the fellow even ventured to fling a fall with the Lord of Life himself, though it is true he gained very little by his daring.” At these wordsNightmarearose full of wrath and departed. “Hey,” saidSleep, “come away, and you shall have no cause to repent of your journey.” “Well,” said I, “may there never be night tosaint Sleep, and mayNightmarenever obtain any other place to crouch upon than the top of an awl, unless you return me to where you found me.” Then away he went with me, over woods and precipices, over oceans and valleys, over castles and towers, rivers and crags; and where did we descend, but by one of the gates of the daughters of Belial, on the posterior side of thecity of Perdition, and I could there perceive, that the three gates of Perdition contracted into one on the hinder side, and opened into the same place—a place foggy, cold, and pestilential, replete with an unwholesome vapour, and clouds, lowering and terrible. “Pray, sir,” said I, “what dungeon of a place is this?” “The chambers of Death,” saidSleep. I had scarcely time to enquire, before I heard some people crying, some screaming, some groaning, some talking deliriously, some uttering blasphemies in a feeble tone: others in great agony, as if about to give up the ghost. Here and there one, after a mighty shout would become silent, and then forthwith I could hear a key revolving in a lock; Iturned at the sound to look for the door, and by dint of long gazing, I could see tens of thousands of doors, apparently far off though close by my side notwithstanding. “Please to inform me, master Sleep,” said I, “to what place these doors open?” “They open,” he replied, “into theland of Oblivion, a vast country under the rule of my brother Death; and the great wall here, is the limit of the immense eternity.” As I looked I could see a little death at each door, all with different arms, and different names, though evidently they were all subjects of the same king. Notwithstanding which, there was much contention between them concerning the sick; for the one wished to snatch the sick through his door, and the other would fain have him through his own. On drawing near, we could see above every door, the name of the death written, who kept it; and likewise by every door, hundreds of various things left scattered about, denoting the haste of those who went through. Over one door I could seeFamine, though purses and full bags were lying on the ground beside it, and boxes nailed up, standing near. “That,” said he, “is the gate of themisers.” “To whom,” said I, “do these rags belong?” “Principally to misers,” he replied; “but there are some there belonging to lazy idlers, and to ballad singers, and to others, poor in every thing, but spirit, who preferred starvation to begging.” In the next door was the death of theRuling Passion, and parallel with it I could hear many voices, as of men in the extremity of cold. By this door were many books, some pots and flaggons, here and there a staff and a walking stick, some compasses and charts, and shipping tackle. “This is the road by which scholars go,” said I. “Some scholars go by it,” said he, “solitary, helpless wretches, whose relations have stripped them of their lastarticle of raiment; but people of various other descriptions go by it also. Those,” said he, (speaking of the pots,) “are the relics of jolly companions, whose feet are freezing under benches, whilst their heads are boiling with drink and uproar; and the things yonder belong to travellers of snowy mountains, and to traffickers in the North sea.”
Next at hand was a meagre skeleton of a figure, called thedeath of Fear. Through his exterior you might see that he did not possess any heart; and by his door there were bags, and chests also, and locks and castles. By this gate went usurers, bad governors and tyrants, and some of the murderers, but the plurality of the latter were driven past to the next gate, where there was a death calledGallows, with his cord ready for their necks.
Next was to be seen thedeath of Love, and by his feet were hundreds of instruments, and books of music, and verses, and love letters, and also ointments and colors to beautify the countenance, and a thousand other embellishing wares, and also some swords. “With some of those swords,” said my companion, “bandits have been slain whilst fighting for women, and with others, love-lorn creatures have stabbed themselves.” I could perceive that this death was purblind.
At the next door, was a death who had the most repulsive figure of all: his entire liver was consumed. He was called thedeath of Envy. “This one,” said Sleep, “assaults losing gamesters, slanderers, and many a female rider, who repineth at the law which rendered the wife subject to her husband.” “Pray, sir,” said I, “what is the meaning of female rider?” “Female rider,” said he, “is the term used here, for the woman who would ride her husband, her neighbours,and her country too, if possible, and the end of her long riding will be, that she will ride the Devil, from that door, down to hell.”
Next stood the door of thedeath of Ambition, and of those who lift their nostrils on high, and break their shins for want of looking beneath their feet. Beside this door were crowns, sceptres, banners, all sorts of patents and commissions, and all kinds of heraldric and warlike arms.
But before I could look on any more of these countless doors, I heard a voice commanding me by my name to prepare. At this word, I could feel myself beginning to melt, like a snow ball in the heat of the sun; whereupon my master gave me some soporific drink, so that I fell asleep, but by the time I awoke, he had conveyed me to a considerable distance, on the other side of the wall. I found myself in a valley of pitchy darkness, and as it seemed to me, limitless. At the end of a little time, I could see by a dim light, like that of a dying candle, innumerable human shades—some on foot, and some on horseback, running through one another like the wind, silently and with wonderful solemnity.
It was a desert, bare, and blasted country, without grass, or vegetation, or woods, and without animals, with the exception of deadly monsters, and venomous reptiles of every kind; serpents, snakes, lice, toads, maw-worms, locusts, ear-wigs, and the like, which all exist on human corruption. Through myriads of shades, and creeping things, graves, sepulchres, and cemeteries, we proceeded, without interruption, to observe the country. At last I perceived some of the shades turning and looking upon me; and suddenly, notwithstanding the great silence that had prevailed before, there was a whispering from one to the other that there was alivingmanat hand. “A living man,” said one; “a living man,” said the other; and they came thronging about me like caterpillars from every corner. “How did you come hither, sirrah?” said a little morkin of a death who was there. “Truly sir,” said I, “I know no more than yourself.” “What do they call you?” he demanded. “Call me what you please, here in your own country,” I replied, “but at home I am calledthe Sleeping Bard.”
At that word I beheld a crooked old man, with a double head like to a rough-barked thorn tree, raising himself erect, and looking upon me worse than the black devil himself; and lo! without saying a word, he hurled a large human skull at my head—many thanks to a tombstone which shielded me. “Pray be quiet, sir,” said I. “I am but a stranger, who was never here before, and you may be sure I will never return, if I can once reach home again.” “I will give you cause to remember having been here,” said he; and attacked me with a thigh-bone, like a very devil, whilst I avoided his blows as well as I could. “By heavens,” said I, “this is a most inhospitable country to strangers. Is there a justice of the peace here?” “Peace!” said he, “what peace do you deserve, who will not let people rest in their graves?” “Pray, sir,” said I, “may I be allowed to know your name, because I am not aware of ever having disturbed any one in this country.” “Sirrah,” said he, “know that not you are the Sleeping Bard, but that I am that person; and I have been allowed to rest here for nine hundred years, by every one but yourself.” And he attacked me again.
“Forbear, my brother,” said Merddyn, who was near at hand, “be not too hot; rather be thankful to him for keeping an honorable remembrance of your name upon earth.” “Greathonor forsooth,” said he, “I shall receive from such a blockhead as this. Sirrah! can you sing in the four-and-twenty measures? Can you carry the pedigree of Gog and Magog, and the genealogy of Brutus ap Sylfius, up to a millenium previous to the fall of Troy? Can you narrate when, and what will be the end of the combats betwixt the lion and the eagle, and betwixt the dragon and the red deer?” “Hey, hey! let me ask him a question,” said another, who was seated beside a large cauldron which was boiling, and going, bubble, bubble, over a fire. “Come nearer,” said he, “what is the meaning of this?”
“I till the judgment dayUpon the earth shall stray;None knows for certaintyWhether fish or flesh I be.”
“I till the judgment dayUpon the earth shall stray;None knows for certaintyWhether fish or flesh I be.”
“I will request the favor of your name, sir,” said I, “that I may answer you in a suitable manner.” “I,” said he, “am Taliesin,[49]the prince of the Bards of the West, and that is apiece of my composition.” “I know not,” said I, “what could be your meaning, unless it was, that the yellow plague[50]which destroyed Maelgwn of Gwynedd, put an end to you on the sea-shore, and that your body was divided amongst the crows and the fishes.” “Peace, fool!” said he, “I was alluding to my two callings, of man of the law and poet. Please to tell me, has a lawyer more similitude to a raven, than a poet to a whale? How many a one doth a single lawyer divest of his flesh, to swell out his own craw; and with what indifference does he extract the blood, and leave a man half alive! And as for the poet, where is the fish which is able to swallow like him? he is drinking oceans of liquor at all times, but the briny sea itself would not slack his thirst. And provided a man be a poet and a lawyer, how is it possible to know whether he be fish or flesh, especially if he be a courtier to boot, as I was, and obliged to vary his taste to every ones palate. But tell me,” said he, “whether there are at present, any of those fellows upon the earth?” “There’s plenty of them,” said I; “if one can patch together any nonsensical derry, he is styled a graduate bard. But as for the others; there is such a plague of lawyers, petty attornies, and scribes, that the locusts of Egypt bore light upon the country, in comparison with them. In your time, sir, there were but bargains of tofts and crofts, and a hand’s breadth of writing for a farm of a hundred pounds, and a raising of cairns and crosses, as memorials of the purchase and boundaries. There is no longer any such security, but there is far more craft and deceit, and a tombstone’s breadth of written parchment to secure the bargain;and for all that, it is a wonder if a flaw be not in it, or said to be at least.” “Well then,” said Taliesin, “I should not be worth a straw in the world at present. I am better where I am. Truth will never be had where there are many poets, nor fair dealing where there are many lawyers; no, nor health where there are many physicians.” At this moment, a little grey-headed hobgoblin, who had heard that a living man was arrived, flung himself at my feet, weeping abundantly. “Dear me,” said I, “what are you?” “One who is grievously wronged every day in the world,” said he. “May God move your soul to procure justice for me.” “What is your name?” said I. “I am calledSomebody,” he replied, “and there is scarcely a piece of pimping, or a calumny, or a lie, or tale, to set people at loggerheads, but must be laid upon me. ‘Verily,’ says one, ‘she is a prodigious fine girl, and she was praising you before somebody, notwithstanding that some very great person is paying his suit to her.’ ‘I heard somebody,’ says another, ‘reckoning that this estate was mortgaged nine hundred pounds deep.’ ‘I saw some one yesterday,’ says the beggar, ‘with a chequered slop, like a sailor, who had come with a large ship load of corn, to the neighbouring port.’ And thus every ragged dog mangles me for his own wicked purposes. Some call me Friend—‘I was informed by a friend,’ says one, ‘that so and so has no intention of leaving a farthing to his wife, and that there is no affection between them.’ Some others vilify me yet more, and call me Bird—‘A bird whistled in my ear, that there are bad practices going on there,’ say they. It is true, some call me by the more respectable name of Old Person; yet, not half the omens, prophecies, and counsels, which are attributed to the Old Person, belong to me. I have never bidden people to follow the old road,provided the new one be better, nor a hundred similar things. But Somebody is my common name,” he continued, “him you will most frequently hear, to have been concerned in every atrocious matter. Because, ask a person wherever a vile, slanderous falsehood has been uttered, who it was who said it, and he will reply, ‘Truly I don’t know who, but somebody in the company said it;’ question then every one in the company concerning the fable, and every one will say he heard it from somebody, but no one knows from whom. Is not this a shameful injury?” he demanded. “Be so good as to inform every one whom you may hear naming me, that I have never said any one of these things, nor have ever invented nor uttered a lie to slander any one, nor a story to set relations by the ears; that I do not go near them; that I know nothing of their history, nor of their affairs, nor of their accursed secrets; and that they ought not to fling their wickedness upon me, but on their own corrupt brains.”
At this moment there came a little death, one of the secretaries of the king, desiring to know my name, and commanding master Sleep, to carry me instantly before the king. I was compelled to go, though utterly against my will, by the power, which, like a whirlwind carried me away, betwixt high and low, thousands of miles back to the left hand, until we came again in sight of the boundary wall, and reached a narrow corner. Here we perceived an immense, frowning, ruinous palace, open at the top, reaching to the wall where were the innumerable doors, all of which led to this huge, terrific court. The walls were constructed with the sculls of men, which grinned horribly with their teeth. The clay was black, and was prepared with tears and sweat; and the mortar on the outside was variegated with phlegm and pus, and on the insidewith black-red blood. On the top of each turret, you might see a little death, with a smoking heart stuck on the point of his dart.
Around the palace was a wood, consisting of a few poisonous yews and deadly cypresses, and in these, owls, blood crows, vultures and the like were nestling; and croaking continually for flesh, though the whole place was nothing but a stinking shamble. We entered the gate. All the pillars of the hall were made of human thigh bones; the pillars of the parlour were of shank bones; and the floors were one continued layer of every species of offal. It was not long before I came in sight of a vast and frightful altar, where I beheld the king of Terrors swallowing human flesh and blood, and a thousand petty deaths, from every hole, feeding him with fresh, warm flesh. “Behold,” said the death who brought me there, addressing himself to the king, “a spark, whom I found in the midst of the land of Oblivion; he came so light footed, that your majesty never tasted a morsel of him.” “How can that be?” said the king, and opened his jaws as wide as an earthquake to swallow me. Whereupon I turned all trembling to Sleep. “It was I,” said Sleep, “who brought him here.” “Well,” said the meagre, grizly king, turning to me, “for my brother Sleep’s sake, you shall be permitted to return this time, but beware of me the next.” After having employed himself for a considerable time in casting carcasses into his insatiable paunch, he caused his subjects to be called together, and moved from the altar to a terrific throne of exceeding height, to pronounce judgment on the prisoners newly arrived. In an instant came innumerable multitudes of the dead, making their obeisance to their king, and taking their stations in remarkable order. And lo! king Death wasin his regal vest of flaming scarlet, covered all over with figures of women and children weeping, and men uttering groans; about his head was a black-red three-cornered cap (which his friend Lucifer had sent as a present to him,) and upon its corners were writtenmisery,wailing, andwoe. Above his head were thousands of representations of battles on sea and land, towns burning, the earth opening, and the great water of the deluge; and beneath his feet nothing was to be seen but the crowns and sceptres of the kings whom he had overcome from the beginning. On his right hand Fate was sitting, seemingly engaged in reading, with a murky look, a huge volume which was before him; and on his left was an old man calledTime, licking innumerable threads of gold, and silver, and copper, and very many of iron. Some few of the threads were growing better towards their end, and thousands growing worse. Along the threads were hours, days, and years; and Fate, according as his volume directed him, was continually breaking the threads of life, and opening the doors of the boundary wall, betwixt the two worlds.
We had not looked around us long, before we heard four fiddlers, newly dead, summoned to the bar. “How comes it,” said the king of Terrors, “that loving merriment as ye do, ye kept not on the other side of the gulf, for there has never been any merriment on this side.” “We have never done,” said one of the musicians, “harm to any body, but have rendered people joyous, and have taken quietly what they gave us for our pains.” Said Death, “did you never keep any one from his work, and cause him to lose his time; or did you never keep people from church? ha!” “O no!” said another, “perhaps now and then on a Sunday, after service, we may have kept some in the public house till the next morning, orduring summer tide, may have kept them dancing in the ring on the green all night; for sure enough, we were more liked, and more lucky in obtaining a congregation than the parson.” “Away, away with these fellows to the country of Despair!” said the terrific king, “bind the four back to back and cast them to their customers, to dance bare-footed on floors of glowing heat, and to amble to all eternity without either praise or music.”
The next that came to the bar was a certain king, who had lived very near to Rome. “Hold up your hand, prisoner,” said one of the officers. “I hope,” said he, “that you have some better manners and favour to show to a king.” “Sirrah,” said Death, “why did you not keep on the other side of the gulf where all are kings? On this side there is none but myself, and another down below, and you will soon see, that neither he nor I will rate you according to the degree of your majesty, but according to the degree of your wickedness, in order to adapt your punishment to your crimes, therefore answer to the interrogation.” “Sir,” he replied, “I would have you know, that you have no authority to detain me, nor to interrogate me, as I have a pardon for all my sins under the Pope’s own hand. On account of my faithful services, he has given me a warrant to go straight to Paradise, without tarrying one moment in Purgatory.” At these words the king and all the haggard train gave a ghastly grin, to escape from laughing outright; but the other full of wrath at their ridicule, commanded them aloud to show him the way. “Peace, thou lost fool!” cried Death, “Purgatory lies behind you, on the other side of the wall, for you ought to purify yourself during your life; and on the right hand, on the other side of that gulf is Paradise. But there is no road by whichit is possible for you to escape, either through the gulf to Paradise, or through the boundary wall back to the world; and if you were to give your kingdom, (supposing you could give it,) you would not obtain permission from the keepers of those doors, to take one peep through the key hole. It is called the irrepassable wall, for when once you have come through you may abandon all hope of returning. But since you stand so high on the books of the Pope, you shall go and prepare his bed, beside that of the Pope who was before him, and there you shall kiss his toe for ever, and he the toe of Lucifer.”
Immediately thereupon, four little deaths raised the poor king up, who was by this time shivering like the leaf of an aspen, and snatched him out of sight like lightning. Next after him came a young fellow and woman. He had been a jolly companion and she a lady of pleasure, or one free of her person; but they were called here by their naked names, drunkard and harlot. “I hope,” said the drunkard, “I shall find some favour with you; I have sent to you many a bloated booty in a torrent of good ale; and when I failed to kill others, I came myself, willingly, to feed you.” “With the permission of the court,” said the harlot, “you have not sent half as much as I, and my offerings were burning sacrifices, rich roast meat ready for the board.” “Hey, hey!” said Death, “all this was done for your own accursed passions’ sake and not to feed me. Bind the two face to face, as they are old acquaintances, and cast them into the land of Darkness, and let each be a torment to the other, until the day of judgment.” They were then snatched away, with their heads downwards.
Next to these there came seven recorders. Having been commanded to raise their hands to the bar, they would by nomeans obey, as the rails were greasy. One began to wrangle boisterously; “we ought to obtain a fair citation to prepare our answer;” said he, “instead of being rushed upon unawares.”
“But are we bound to give you that same specific citation,” answered Death, “since you obtain in every place, and at every period of your life, warning of my coming. How many sermons have you not heard upon the mortality of man? How many books have you not seen? How many graves, how many sculls, how many diseases, how many messages and signs have you not had? What is your Sleep, but my own brother? What are sculls, but my visage? What does your daily food consist of but dead creatures? Seek not to cast your neglect upon me. Speak not of summons, when you have obtained it a hundred times.” “Pray,” said one red recorder, “what have you to advance against us?” “What?” said Death. “Drinking the sweat and blood of the poor, and levying double your wages.” “Here is an honest man,” replied the recorder, pointing to a pettifogger behind him, “who knows that we have never done any thing but what was fair; and it is not fair of you to detain us here, without a specific crime to prove against us.” “Hey, hey!” said Death, “you shall prove against yourselves. Place these people,” said he, “on the verge of theprecipicebefore the tribunal ofJustice, they shall obtain equity there though they never practiced it.”
There were still seven other prisoners remaining, and these kept up a prodigious bustle and noise. Some were flattering, others quarrelling, some blustering, some counselling, &c. Scarcely had they been called to the bar, when lo! the entire palace became seven times more horribly dark than before, and there was a shivering and a great agitation aboutthe throne, and Death became paler than ever. Upon enquiring what was the matter, one of the messengers of Lucifer stepped forward with a letter for Death, concerning these seven prisoners, and Fate presently caused the letter to be read publicly, and these were the words, as far as I can remember.
“Lucifer,King of the kings of the world,prince of Hell,and ruler of the Deep,to our natural son,the most mighty and terrible king Death,greeting,pre-eminence,and eternal spoil.“For as much as we have been informed by some of our nimble messengers, who are constantly abroad to obtain information, that seven prisoners, of the seven most villainous and dangerous species in the world, have arrived lately at your royal palace, and that it is your intention to hurl them over the cliff into my kingdom. I hereby counsel you to try every possible means, to let them loose back again upon the world; they will do you there more service in sending you food, and sending me better company, for I would rather want than have them; we have had but too much plague with their companions for a long time, and my dominion is still disturbed by them. Therefore turn them back, or keep them with you. For, by the infernal crown, if you send them here, I will undermine the foundations of your kingdom, until it falls down into my own immense dominion.“From the burning hall of assembly,at our royal palace in the pit of Hell,in the year of our reign, 5425.”
“Lucifer,King of the kings of the world,prince of Hell,and ruler of the Deep,to our natural son,the most mighty and terrible king Death,greeting,pre-eminence,and eternal spoil.
“For as much as we have been informed by some of our nimble messengers, who are constantly abroad to obtain information, that seven prisoners, of the seven most villainous and dangerous species in the world, have arrived lately at your royal palace, and that it is your intention to hurl them over the cliff into my kingdom. I hereby counsel you to try every possible means, to let them loose back again upon the world; they will do you there more service in sending you food, and sending me better company, for I would rather want than have them; we have had but too much plague with their companions for a long time, and my dominion is still disturbed by them. Therefore turn them back, or keep them with you. For, by the infernal crown, if you send them here, I will undermine the foundations of your kingdom, until it falls down into my own immense dominion.
“From the burning hall of assembly,at our royal palace in the pit of Hell,in the year of our reign, 5425.”
King Death, hereupon, stood for some time with his visage green and pale, in great perplexity of mind. Butwhilst he was meditating, beholdFate, turned upon him such an iron-black scowl, as made him tremble. “Sirrah,” said he, “look to what you do. It is not in my power to send any one back, through the boundary of eternity, the irrepassable wall, nor in yours to harbour them here; therefore forward them to their destruction, in spite of the Arch Fiend. He has been able hitherto, in a minute to allot his proper place to every individual, in a drove of a thousand, nay, even of ten thousand captured souls; and what difficulty can he have with seven, however dangerous they may be. But though these seven should turn the infernal government topsy-turvy, do you drive them thither instantly, for fear I should receive commands to annihilate you before your time. As forhisthreats, they are only lies; for although thy end, and that of the old man yonder, (looking at Time,) are nigh at hand, being written only a few pages further on, in my unerring volume, yet you have no cause to be afraid of sinking to Lucifer; though every one in the abyss would be glad to obtain thee, yet they never, never shall. For the rocks of steel and eternal adamant, which form the roof of Hell, are too strong for anything to crumble them.” Whereupon, Death, considerably startled, called to one of his train, to write for him the following answer.
“Death,the king of Terror and Conqueror of conquerors,to his revered friend and neighbour Lucifer,king of Eternal Night,sovereign of the Bottomless Pool,sends greeting.“After due reflection on your regal desire, it has appeared to us more advantageous, not only to our own dominion, but likewise to your own extensive kingdom, to send theseprisoners, as far as possible from the doors of the irrepassable wall, lest their putrid odour should terrify the whole city of Destruction, so that no man should come to all eternity, to my side of the gate; and neither I obtain any thing to cool my sting, nor you a concourse of customers from earth to hell. Therefore I will leave to you to judge them, and to hurl them into such cells, as you may deem the most proper and secure for them.“From my nether palace in the great gate of Perdition,over Destruction.In the year,from the renewal of my kingdom, 1670.”
“Death,the king of Terror and Conqueror of conquerors,to his revered friend and neighbour Lucifer,king of Eternal Night,sovereign of the Bottomless Pool,sends greeting.
“After due reflection on your regal desire, it has appeared to us more advantageous, not only to our own dominion, but likewise to your own extensive kingdom, to send theseprisoners, as far as possible from the doors of the irrepassable wall, lest their putrid odour should terrify the whole city of Destruction, so that no man should come to all eternity, to my side of the gate; and neither I obtain any thing to cool my sting, nor you a concourse of customers from earth to hell. Therefore I will leave to you to judge them, and to hurl them into such cells, as you may deem the most proper and secure for them.
“From my nether palace in the great gate of Perdition,over Destruction.In the year,from the renewal of my kingdom, 1670.”
At hearing all this, I felt a great curiosity to know who these seven people could be, whom the devils themselves held in so much dread. But ere a minute had elapsed, the clerk of the crown called their names, as follows:—Master Meddler, aliasFinger in Every Dish; but he was so vehement and busy in advising the others, that he could not get a moment’s time to answer for himself, until Death threatened to transfix him with his dart.
Thenmaster Slandererwas called, aliasEnemy of Fair Fame; but there was no answer. “He is too modest to hear his titles,” said the third, “and he never can bear his nicknames.” “Do you suppose,” said theSlanderer, “that you yourself have notitles. Call for,” said he, “master Coxcomb, aliasSmooth Gullet, aliasPoison Smile.” “Ready,” said a woman who was there, pointing to the Coxcomb. “O,” said he, “madam Bouncer! Your humble servant, I am overjoyed at seeing you well. I have never seen a woman look handsomer in breeches. But, oh! to think how miserable the country must be behind you, for want of its admirable she-governor;yet your delightful company will make hell itself something better.” “O son of the arch fiend!” said she. “With you there is no need of another hell, you are yourself enough.” Then the cryer calledBouncer, ormistress Breeches. “Ready,” said another. But she said not a word, for want of being called madam. Next was calledContriver of Contrivances, aliasJack of all Trades; but he returned no answer either, for he was busied in devising a way to escape. “Ready, ready,” said one behind, “here he is, looking out for an opportunity to break through your palace, and unless you take care, he will have some notable contrivance to baulk you.” Said the Contriver, “call him, I beseech you,master Impeacher of his Brother, aliasSearcher of Faults, aliasFramer of Complaints.” “Ready, ready, this is he,” said a litigious pettifogger, for every one knew the name of the other, but would not acknowledge his own. “You shall be called,” said the Impeacher, “master Litigious Pettifogger, aliasthe Courts Comprised.” “Bear witness, I pray you all,” said the Pettifogger, “as to what the knave called me.” “Ho, ho!” said Death, “not by the baptismal font, but by his sins, is every one called in this country; and, with your permission, master Pettifogger, the names of your sins are those which shall stick to you henceforth for ever.” “Hey,” said the Pettifogger, “I swear by the Devil that I will make you smart for this. Though you are empowered to kill me, you have no authority to bestow nicknames upon me. I will file a complaint against you for defamation, and another for false imprisonment, against you and your friend Lucifer, in the court of Justice.”
By this time, I beheld the legions of Death, formed in order and armed, with their eyes fixed upon the king, awaitingthe word. “There,” said the king, standing erect upon his regal throne, “my terrible and invincible hosts, spare neither care nor diligence in removing these prisoners from out of my boundaries, lest they prove the ruin of my country; cast them bound, over the precipice of Despair, with their heads downward. But for the seventh, this Courts Comprised, who threatens me, leave him free over the chasm, beneath the court ofJustice, and let him try whether he can make his complaint good against me.” Then Death reseated himself. And lo! all the deadly legions, after surrounding the prisoners and binding them, led them away to their couch. I also went out, and peeped after them. “Come away,” said Sleep, and snatched me up to the top of the highest turret of the palace. Thence I could see the prisoners proceeding to their eternal perdition. Presently a whirlwind arose, and dispersed the pitch-black cloud, which was spread universally over the face of the land of Oblivion, and by the light of a thousand candles, which were burning with a blue flame, at a particular place, I obtained a far distant view of the verge of theBottomless Gulf, a sight exceedingly horrible; and also of a spectacle above, still more appalling, namelyJusticeupon hissupreme seat, holding the keys of Hell, at a separate and distinct tribunal over the chasm, to pronounce judgment upon the damned as they came. I could see the prisoners cast headlong down the gulf, and Pettifogger rushing to fling himself over the terrific brink, rather than look once on the court ofJustice. For oh! there was there a spectacle too severe for a guilty countenance. I merely gazed fromafar, but I beheld more terrific horror, than I can at present relate, or I could at that time support, for my spirit struggled and fluttered at the awful sight, and wrestled so strenuously, thatit burst all the bands of Sleep, and my soul returned to its accustomed functions. And exceedingly overjoyed I was to see myself still amongst the living. I instantly determined upon reforming myself, as a hundred years of affliction in the paths of righteousness, would be less harrowing to me, than another glance on the horrors of this night.
Leave land and house we must some day,For human sway not long doth bide;Leave pleasures and festivities,And pedigrees, our boast and pride.
Leave strength and loveliness of mien,Wit sharp and keen, experience dear;Leave learning deep, and much lov’d friends,And all that tends our life to cheer.
From Death then is there no relief?That ruthless thief and murderer fell,Who to his shambles beareth downAll, all we own, and us as well.
Ye monied men, ye who would fainYour wealth retain eternally,How brave ’twould be a sum to raise,And the good grace of Death to buy!
How brave! ye who with beauty beam,On rank supreme who fix your mind,Should ye your captivations muster,And with their lustre king Death blind.
O ye who are at foot most light,Who are in the height now of your spring,Fly, fly, and ye will make us gape,If ye can scape Death’s cruel fling.
The song and dance afford, I ween,Relief from spleen, and sorrows grave;How very strange there is no dance,Nor tune of France, from Death can save!
Ye travellers of sea and land,Who know each strand below the sky;Declare if ye have seen a place,Where Adam’s race can Death defy!
Ye scholars, and ye lawyer crowds,Who are as gods reputed wise;Can ye from all the lore ye know,’Gainst Death bestow some good advice?
The world, the flesh, and Devil, composeThe direst foes of mortals poor;But take good heed of Death the Great,From the Lost Gate, Destruction o’er.
’Tis not worth while of Death to prate,Of his Lost Gate and courts so wide;But O reflect! it much imports,Of the two courts in which ye’re tried.
It here can little signifyIf the street high we cross, or low;Each lofty thought doth rise, be sure,The soul to lure to deepest woe.
But by the wall that’s ne’er re-pass’d,To gripe thee fast when Death prepares,Heed, heed thy steps, for thou mayst mournThe slightest turn for endless years.
When opes the door, and swiftly henceTo its residence eternal fliesThe soul, it matters much, which sideOf the gulf wide its journey lies.
Deep penitence, amended life,A bosom rife of zeal and faith,Can help to man alone impart,Against the smart and sting of Death.
These things to thee seem worthless now,But not so low will they appearWhen thou art come, O thoughtless friend!Just to the end of thy career.
Thou’lt deem, when thou hast done with earth,These things of worth unspeakable,Beside the gulf so black and drear,The gulf of Fear, ’twixt Heaven and Hell.
One fair morning of genial April, when the earth was green and pregnant, and Britain, like a paradise, was wearing splendid liveries, tokens of the smile of the summer sun, I was walking upon the bank of the Severn, in the midst of the sweet notes of the little songsters of the wood, who appeared to be striving to break through all the measures of music, whilst pouring forth praise to the Creator. I too occasionally raised my voice, and warbled with the feathered choir, though in a manner somewhat more restrained than that in which they sang; and occasionally read a portion of the book of the Practice of Godliness. Nevertheless, my former visions would not depart from my remembrance, but continually troubled me by coming across all other thoughts. And they persisted in doing so, until, by arguing the matter minutely with myself, I reflected that there is no vision but what comes from above, to warn one to be upon one’s guard, and that consequently it was my duty to write minedown, that they might serve as a warning to others also. I therefore returned to my home, and whilst overwhelmed with melancholy, I was endeavouring to collect some of my frightful reminiscences, I happened to give a yawn over my paper, and this gave master Sleep an opportunity to glide upon the top of me. Scarcely had Sleep closed my senses, when, behold! a glorious apparition came towards me, in the shape of a young man, tall and exceedingly beautiful; his garments were seven times more white than snow, his countenance was so lustrous that it rendered the very sun obscure, and his curling locks of gold parted in two lovely wreaths upon his head, in the form of a crown. “Come with me, mortal man,” said he on coming up. “Who art thou, my lord?” said I. “I am,” he replied, “the angel of the countries of the North, the guardian of Britain and its queen. I am one of the princes who are stationed beneath the throne of the Lamb, who receive commands for the protection of the gospel, against all its enemies in Hell and in Rome, in France and Constantinople, in Africa and in India, and wheresoever else they are devising artifices for its destruction. I am the angel who conducted thee below to castle Belial, and who showed thee the vanity and madness of the whole world, the city of Destruction, and the excellence of the city of Emmanuel, and I am come once more by his command, to show thee other things, because thou art seeking to turn to account what thou hast seen already.” “How, my lord,” said I, “will your illustrious majesty, which superintends kings and kingdoms, condescend to associate with such a poor worm as myself?” “O,” said he, “we respect more the virtue of a beggar than the grandeur of a sovereign. What if I be greater than the kings of the earth, and higher than many of the countlesspotentates of heaven? As my wonderful master deigned to humble himself so inexpressibly as to wear one of your bodies, and to live among you, and to die for your salvation, how should I presume to be dissatisfied with my duty in serving you, and the vilest of the human race, since ye are so high in favour with my master? Come out, spirit, and free thyself from thy clay,” said he, with his eyes directed upwards. And with that word, I could feel myself becoming extricated from every part of my body. No sooner was I free, than he snatched me up to the firmament of heaven, through the region of lightning and thunder, and all the glowing armories of the sky, innumerable degrees higher than I had been with him before, whence I could scarcely descry the earth, which looked no wider than a croft. After permitting me to rest a short space, he again lifted me up a million of miles, until I could see the sun far below us; we rushed through the milky way and past the Pleiades, and many other exceedingly large stars, till we caught a distant view of other worlds. At length, by dint of journeying, we reached the confines of the awful eternity, and were in sight of the two palaces of the mighty king Death, which stand one on the right hand and the other on the left, and are at a great distance from each other, as there is an immense void between them. I enquired whether we should go to see the right hand palace, because it did not appear to me to resemble the other which I had seen before. “You will probably see,” he replied, “sometime, still more of the difference which is between the one palace and the other; but at present it is necessary for us to sail another course.” Whereupon we turned away from the little world, and having arrived over the intervening gap, we let ourselves down to the country of Eternity, between the twopalaces, into the horrible void; an enormous country it was, exceedingly deep and dark—without order and without inhabitants—now hot, now cold—sometimes silent, sometimes noisy, with the sound caused by cataracts of water tumbling upon the flames and extinguishing them; which cataracts, however, did not long continue, for presently might be seen a puff of fire bursting out and consuming the water. There was here no course, nor whole, nothing living, nothing shapely; but a giddy discord and an amazing darkness which would have blinded me for ever, if my companion had not again displayed his heavenly garment of splendour. By the light which it cast I could see the country of Oblivion, and the edges of the wilds of Destruction in front, on the left hand; and on the right the lowest skirts apparently of the walls of Glory. “Behold the great gulf between Abraham and Dives,” said my guide, “which is termed the place of Chaos. It is the region of the elements which God created first; it is the place wherein are the seeds of every living thing, from which the Almighty word made your world and all that therein is—water, fire, air, earth, animals, fishes and creeping things, winged birds, and human bodies, but not your souls, for they are of an origin and generation higher and more exalted.” Through the vast, frightful place of Chaos we at length broke out to the left hand, and before travelling any distance there, where every thing was ever becoming more frightful, I could feel my heart at the top of my throat, and my hair standing like the prickles of the hedge-hog, even before seeing any thing; but when Ididsee—oh! spectacle too much for tongue to relate, or for the spirit of man to behold. I fainted. Oh, the amazing and monstrous abyss, opening in a horrible manner into the other world! Oh, thecontinual crackling of the terrible flames, darting over the sides of the accursed precipice, and the flashes of linked lightning rending the black, thick smoke, which the unsightly orifice was casting up! My dear companion, having brought me to myself again, gave me some spiritual water to drink; O how excellent it was in its taste and color! After drinking of the heavenly water, I could feel a wonderful strength diffusing itself through me, bringing with it sense, heart, faith, and various other heavenly virtues. By this time I had approached with him unterrified to the edge of the steep, enveloped in the veil, the flames parting on both sides and avoiding us, not daring to come in contact with the inhabitants of the supreme abodes. Then from the summit of the terrific precipice we darted down, like two stars falling from the firmament of heaven, a thousand million of miles, over many a brimstone crag, and many a furious, ugly cataract and glowing precipice, every thing that we passed looking always frowningly downward; yet every thing noxious avoided us, except once, when having thrust my nose out of the veil, I was struck by such a suffocating, strangling exhalation as would have put an end to me, if my guide had not instantly assisted me with the water of life. By the time that I had recovered, I perceived that we had arrived at a kind of standing place; for in all this loathsome chasm it was impossible to obtain any rest before, owing to the steepness and slipperiness of its sides. There my guide permitted me to take some further rest; and during this respite, it happened that the thunders and the hoarse whirlwinds became silent for a little while, and in spite of the din of the raging cataracts, I heard from afar a sound louder than the whole—a sound of horrible harsh voices, of shouting, bellowing, and strong groans,swearing, cursing, and blaspheming, till I would have consented to part with mine ears, that I might not hear. Ere we moved a foot farther, we could hear a terrible tumbling sound, and if we had not suddenly slipped aside, hundreds of unfortunate men would have fallen upon us, who were coming headlong, in excessive hurry, to take possession of their bad purchase, with a host of devils driving them. “O, sir,” said one devil, “take it easy, lest you should ruffle your curling locks. Madam, do you wish for an easy cushion? I am afraid that you will be out of all order by the time you come to your couch,” said he to another.
The strangers were exceedingly averse to going forward, insisting that they were out of their road; but notwithstanding all they could say, go they did, and we behind them, to a black flood of great magnitude, and through it they went, and we across it, my companion holding the celestial water continually to my nostrils, to strengthen me against the stench of the river, and against the time when I should see some of the inhabitants of the place, for hitherto I had not beheld so much as one devil, though I had heard the voices of many. “Pray, my lord,” said I, “what is the name of this putrid river?” “The river of the Fiend,” said he, “in which all his subjects are bathed, in order that they may be rendered fit for the country. For this accursed water changes their countenance, and washes away from them every relic of goodness, every semblance of hope and of comfort.” And, indeed, on gazing upon the host after it had come through, I could distinguish no difference in deformity between the devils and the damned. Some of the latter would fain have sculked at the bottom of the river, and have lain there to all eternity, in a state of strangulation, lest they should get a worse bed fatheron; but here the proverb was verified, that “he must needs run whom the Devil drives,” for with the devils behind, the damned were compelled to go forward unto the beach, to their eternal damnation; where I at the first glance saw more pains and torments than the heart of man can imagine or the tongue relate; a single one of which was sufficient to make the hair stand erect, the blood to freeze, the flesh to melt, the bones to drop from their places—yea, the spirit to faint. What is empaling or sawing men alive, tearing off the flesh piecemeal with iron pincers, or broiling the flesh with candles, collop fashion, or squeezing heads flat in a vice, and all the most shocking devices which ever were upon earth, compared with one of these? Mere pastime! Here were a hundred thousand shoutings, hoarse sighs, and strong groans; yonder a boisterous wailing and horrible outcry answering them, and the howling of a dog is sweet, delicious music, when compared with these sounds. When we had proceeded a little way onward from the accursed beach, towards the wild place of Damnation, I perceived, by their own light, innumerable men and women here and there; and devils without number and without rest, incessantly employing their strength in tormenting. Yes, there they were, devils and damned, the devils roaring with their own torments, and making the damned roar, by means of the torments which they inflicted upon them. I paid particular observation to the corner which was nearest me. There I beheld the devils with pitch-forks, tossing the damned up into the air, that they might fall headlong on poisoned hatchels or barbed pikes, there to wriggle their bowels out. After a time the wretches would crawl in multitudes, one upon another, to the top of one of the burning crags, there to be broiled like mutton; from therethey would be snatched afar, to the top of one of the mountains of eternal frost and snow, where they would be allowed to shiver for a time; thence they would be precipitated into a loathsome pool of boiling brimstone, to wallow there in conflagration, smoke, and the suffocation of horrible stench; from the pool they would be driven to the marsh of Hell that they might embrace and be embraced by its reptiles many times worse than serpents and vipers; after allowing them half an hour’s dalliance with these creatures, the devils would seize a bundle of rods of steel, fiery hot from the furnace, and would scourge them till their howlings, caused by the horrible inexpressible pain which they endured, would fill the vast abode of darkness, and when the fiends deemed that they had scourged them enough, they would take hot irons and sear their bloody wounds.
There was here no fainting, nor swooning to evade a moment of suffering, but a continual strength to suffer and to feel, though you would have imagined after one horrible cry, that it would be utterly impossible there should be strength remaining to give another cry so frightfully loud; the damned never lowered their key, and the devils kept replying, “behold your welcome for ever and ever.” And it almost seemed that the sauciness and bitterness of the devils, in jeering and mocking their victims, were worse to bear than the pain itself. What was worst of all, their conscience was at present utterly aroused, and was tearing them worse than a thousand of the infernal lions. We proceeded farther and farther downward, and the farther we proceeded, the more horrible was the work which was going on; the first place we came to in our progress was a frightful prison, in which were many human beings under the scourge of the devils, shrieking mostshockingly. “What place is this?” said I. “That,” said the angel, “is the couch of those who cry ‘woe is me that I did not—!’ Hark to them for a moment!” “Woe is me that I did not purify myself in time from every kind of sin!” says one. “Woe is me that I did not believe and repent before coming here!” says the other.
Next to the cell of too late repentance, and of debate after judgment had been passed, was the prison of the procrastinators, who would be every time promising amendment, without ever fulfilling their promise. “When this business is over,” says one, “I will turn over another leaf.” “When this obstacle is removed, I will become a new man yet,” says the other. But when the obstacle is removed, they are not a bit the nearer to reformation, for some other obstacle is always found to prevent them from moving towards the gate of Righteousness, and if they do sometimes move a little, they are sure to turn back. Next to this was the prison of vain confidence, full of those who, on being commanded to abstain from their luxuriousness, drunkenness, or avarice, would say, “God is merciful, and better than his word, and will not damn his creature for ever for so small a matter.” But here they were yelping forth blasphemy, and asking where is that mercy, which was boasted to be immeasurable. “Peace, hell-dogs,” at length said a great lobster of a devil who was hearing them, “peace! would you have mercy without doing any thing to obtain it? Would you have the Truth render his word false, for the sake of obtaining the company of such filthy dross as you? Too much mercy has been shown to you already. You were given a Saviour, a comforter, and the apostles, with books, sermons, and good examples, and will you never cease to deafen us with bawling about mercy, wheremercy has never been?” On going out from this fiery gulf, I could hear one puffing and shouting terribly, “I knew no better, nothing was ever expended in teaching me my duty, and I could never find time to read or pray, because I was obliged to earn bread for myself and my poor family.” “Aye,” said a little crooked devil who stood by, “and did you never find time to tell pleasant stories?—no leisure for self vaunting during long winter evenings when I was in the chimney corner? Now, why did you not devote some of that time to learning to read and pray? Who on Sundays used to come with me to the tavern, instead of going with the parson to church? Who devoted many a Sunday afternoon to vain prating about worldly things, or to sleep, instead of meditation and prayer? And have ye merely acted according to your knowledge and your opportunities? Peace, sirrah, with your lying nonsense!” “O thou blood of a mad dog!” said the lost man, “it is not long since you were whispering something very different into my ear, if you had said that the other day, I should scarcely have come here.” “O,” said the devil, “we do not mind telling you the bitter truth here, since we need not fear that you will go back to tell tales.”
Below this cell I saw a kind of vast pit, and in it what looked like an infinite quantity of loathsome ordure, burning with a green flame, and on drawing near, I was aware, from the horrid howling that proceeded from it, that it was composed of men piled one upon another, the horrible flames crackling meanwhile through them. “This hollow,” said the angel, “is the couch of those who say after committing some great sin, ‘pooh! I am not the first, I have plenty of companions;’ and thus you see, theydoget plenty of companions, to verify their words and to increase their agony.” Oppositeto this horrible place was a large cellar, where I could see men twisted, as tow is twisted, or hemp is spun. “Pray,” said I “who are these?” “Panegyrists,” said he, “and out of sheer mockery to them, the devils are trying whether it is possible to twist them as flexibly as they twisted their own discourse.” A little way below that cell, I could but just descry a sort of prison-pool, very dark, and in it things which had been men, having faces like the heads of wolf-dogs, and up to their jaws in bog, barking blasphemy and lies most furiously, as long as they could get their sting above the mud. At this moment a troop of devils happening to pass by, some of these creatures contrived to bite in the heels, ten or twelve of the devils who had brought them thither. “Woe and destruction to you hell-dogs!” said one of the devils who had been bit, “you shall pay for this;” and forthwith commenced beating the bog, till the wretches were drowned in the stinking abysses. “Who,” he then added, “have deserved hell better than you, who have been hunting up and devising gossip, and buzzing lies about from house to house, in order that you might laugh, after having set a whole country at loggerheads. What more could one of ourselves have done?” “That,” said the angel, “is the bed of the tale-bearers, the slanderers, and the whisperers, and of all other envious curs, who are continually wounding people behind their backs with their hands or their tongues.”
From here we passed to a vast dungeon, by far the filthiest that I had seen yet, and the most replete with toads, adders, and stench. “This,” said my guide, “is the place of the men who expect to get to heaven because they have no ill intentions, that is, for being neither good nor bad.” Next to this pool of ill savour, I beheld a place where a vast crowdwere sitting, and without any thing visible to torment them, groaning more piteously than any that I had hitherto heard in Hell. “Mercy upon us,” said I, “what causes these people to complain more than the rest, when they have neither torture nor devil near them?” “O,” said the angel, “the less torment they have without, the more they have within. These are refractory heretics, atheists, antichristians, worldly-wise ones, abjurers of the faith, persecutors of the church, and an infinity of such like wretches, who are abandoned entirely to the punishment of conscience, more tormenting than flame or devil, which domineers over them ceaselessly and without restraint. ‘I will never permit myself any more,’ says she, ‘to be drowned in ale, nor to be blinded by bribes, nor deafened by music and company, nor lulled nor confounded by careless listlessness; for now Iwillbe listened to, and never shall the clack of the hated truth cease in your ears.’ Longing is ever raging within the wretch for the happiness which he has lost; memory is ever reproaching him by saying how easy it was to be obtained, and the understanding showing him the magnitude of his loss, and the certainty that nothing is now to be obtained, but indescribable gnawing for ever and ever. So with these three instruments—namely longing, memory, and understanding—conscience is tearing the lost one, in a manner far worse than all the devils in Hell could tear him with their claws.”
On coming out of this wonderful nook I heard a confused talking, and after every word such a ghastly laughter, as if five hundred devils were casting their horns with laughing. On approaching to see the cause of such a rarity as laughter in Hell, I discovered that it was only got up to incense two honorable gentlemen, newly arrived, who were insisting onbeing shown respect suitable to their gentility. One of them was a round bodied squire, having with him a big roll of parchment—namely his map of pedigree—out of which he recited from which of the fifty tribes of North Wales he was sprung, and how many justices of the peace, and how many sheriffs his house had produced. “Come, come,” said one of the devils, “we know the merits of the greater part of your ancestry. If you had been like your father or your great grandfather, we should not have ventured to come in contact with you; but you are only the heir of the pit of darkness, you dirty hell-dog! You are scarcely worthy of a night’s lodging,” added he, “and yet we’ll grant you some nook, wherein to await the dawn;” and with that word the goblin with his pitchfork, gave him more than thirty tosses in the fiery air, until he at length cast him into an abyss out of sight. “That may do,” said the other, “for a squire of half blood, but I hope you will behave better to a knight, who has had the honor of serving the king in person, and can name twelve earls and fifty baronets belonging to his ancient house.” “If your ancestors and your ancient house be all that you can bring in your defence, you may go the same road as he,” said one of the devils, “because we can scarcely remember one ancient house, of which some oppressor, murderer, or strong thief did not lay the foundation, and which he did not transmit to people as froward as himself, or to lazy drones, or drunken swine, to maintain whose extravagant magnificence, the vassals and the tenantry must be squeezed to death, whilst every handsome colt or pretty cow in the neighbourhood must be parted with for the pleasure of the mistress, and every lass or married woman, may consider herself fortunate, if she escape the pleasure of the master; the freeholders, meanwhile, beingeither obliged to follow him like fawning hounds, rob themselves for his benefit, and sell their patrimonies at his pleasure, or be subject to frowns and hatred, and be dragged into every disagreeable and vexatious employment during their lives.
“O these little great country folks,” continued the devil, “how genteely they swear in order to obtain credit with their mistresses, or with the shop-keepers; and when they have decked themselves out, O how insolently they look upon many of the middling officers of the church and state, and how much worse on the common people! as if they were a species of reptiles in comparison with themselves. Woe is me! is not all blood of the same color? Did you not come all into the world by the same way?” “But, nevertheless, with your permission,” said the knight, “there are some who are of much purer birth than others.” “Destruction take you!” said the goblin, “there is not one carcass of you all better than the rest; you are all polluted with radical sin from Adam. But, sir,” said he, “if your blood be better than other blood, less scum will exude from you when boiling; however, in order to be sure of its quality, it will be as well to search you with fire as well as water.” Thereupon a devil in the shape of a chariot of fire received him, and the other in mockery lifted him into it, and away he was hurried like lightning. After a short time the angel caused me to look, and I could see the wretched knight suffering a terrible steeping in a frightful boiling furnace, in company with Cain, Nimrod, Esau, Tarquin, Nero, Caligula, and the others who were the founders of genealogies, and were the first to set up arms of nobility.
A little farther on, my guide caused me to look through the hollow of a rock, and there I beheld a number of coquettesbriskly at work, doing and repeating all their former follies upon earth. Some were twisting their mouths, some were pulling their front locks with irons, some were painting themselves, some patching their faces with sooty ointments, to make the yellow look more fair; some quite mad at seeing their visages, after all their pains in coloring and variegating, more hideous than those of the very devils, were endeavouring to break the mirrors, or were tearing off with their nails and their teeth the whole artificial blush—the ointments, skin, and flesh coming off all together. The cries which they uttered occasionally were most dismal. “The curse of curses,” would one say, “on my father, for making me marry when a girl, an old sapless stump, whose work in raising desires which he could not gratify has driven me hither.” “A thousand curses on my parents,” would another say, “for sending me to a cloister to learn chastity; they would not have done worse in sending me to a roundhead to learn generosity, or to a quaker to learn manners, than to a papist to learn honor.” “Destruction,” said another, “seize my mother for her avaricious pride in preventing my obtaining a husband when I wanted one, and thus obliging me to purloin the thing I might have honorably come by.” “Hell, and double Hell to the lustful wretch of a gentleman, who first began tempting me,” would the third say; “if he had not, betwixt fair and foul, broken the hedge, I had not become a cell open to every body, nor had I come to this cell of devils!” And then they fell to tearing themselves again.
I was glad to quit such a pack of female dogs. But before I had passed on many steps, I was surprised to see another shoal of imprisoned wenches, twice more detestable than they. Some had been changed into toads, some intodragons, some into serpents who were swimming and hissing, glavering and butting in a fetid, stagnant pool, much larger than Llyn Tegid.[84]“In the name of wonder,” said I, “what sort of creatures may these be?” “There are here,” said he, “four sorts of wenches, all notoriously bad. First, there are procuresses, with some of the principal lasses of their respective bevies about them. Second, gossiping ladies with a swarm of their news-bearing hags. Third, bouncing madams, and a pack of sneaking curs on both sides of them, for no man, but for downright fear of them, would ever go nigh them. Fourth, scolds, become a hundred times more horrible than vipers, with their poisonous stings going creak, creak to all eternity.”