And with their several flurts they have lighted dangerously,
But sure I shall be quit: I hear 'em coming.
Go off and wait the bringing in your service,
And do it handsomely: you know where to have it.
EnterMilanes, Arsenio, Lopez, Diego.
Welcom i' Faith.
Ars.
That's well said, honest Lawyer.
Lop.
Said like a neighbour.
Bar.
Welcom all: all over,
And let's be merry.
Mil.
To that end we came Sir,
An hour of freedome's worth an age of juglings.
Die.
I am come too Sir, to specifie my Stomach
A poor reteiner to your worships bountie.
Bar.
And thou shalt have it fill'd my merryDiego,
My liberal, and my bonny bounteousDiego,
Even fill'd till it groan again.
Die.
Let it have fair play,
And if it founder then.—
Bar.
I'le tell ye neighbours,
Though I were angry yesterday with ye all,
And very angry, for methought ye bob'd me.
Lop.
No, no, by no means.
Bar.
No, when I considered
It was a jest, and carried off so quaintly,
It made me merry: very merry, Gentlemen,
I do confess I could not sleep to think on't,
The mirth so tickled me, I could not slumber.
Lop.
Good mirth do's work so: honest mirth,
Now, should we have meant in earnest—
Bar.
You say true neighbour.
Lop.
It might have bred such a distast and sowrness,
Such fond imaginations in your Brains, Sir,
For things thrust home in earnest.—
Bar.
Very certain,
But I know ye all for merry waggs, and ere long
You shall know me too in another fashion,
Though y'are pamper'd, ye shall bear part o'th' burthen.
EnterAmaranta,andLeandro.
Come wife; Come bid 'em welcom; Come my Jewel:
And Pupil, you shall come too; ne're hang backward,
Come, come the woman's pleas'd, her anger's over,
Come, be not bashfull.
Am.
What do's he prepare here?
Sure there's no meat i'th' house, at least not drest,
Do's he mean to mock 'em? or some new bred crotchet
Come o're his brains; I do not like his kindness:
But silence best becomes me: if he mean foul play,
Sure they are enough to right themselves, and let 'em,
I'le sit by, so they beat him not to powder.
Bar.
Bring in the meat there, ha? Sit down dear neighbour,
A little meat needs little Complement,
Sit down I say.
Am.
What do you mean by this Sir?
Bar.
Convey away their weapons handsomely.
Am.
You know there's none i'th' house to answer ye,
But the poor Girle; you know there's no meat neither.
Bar.
Peace and be quiet; I shall make you smoak else,
There's men and meat enough, set it down formally.
EnterAlgazeirs,with dishes.
Am.
I fear some lewd trick, yet I dare not speak on't.
Bar.
I have no dainties for ye Gentlemen,
Nor loads of meat, to make the room smell of 'em.
Only a dish to every man I have dedicated,
And if I have pleas'd his appetite.
Lop.
O, a Capon,
A Bird of grace, and be thy will, I honour it.
Die.
For me some fortie pound of lovely Beef,
Plac'd in a mediterranean sea of Brewis.
Bar.
Fall to, fall to, that we may drink and laugh after,
Wait diligently knaves.
Mil.
What rare bit's this?
An execution! bless me!
Bar.
Nay take it to ye,
There's no avoiding it, 'tis somewhat tough Sir,
But a good stomach will endure it easily,
The sum is but a thousand duckets Sir.
Ars.
A Capias from my Surgeon, and my Silk-man!
Bar.
Your carefull makers, but they have mar'd your diet.
Stir not, your Swords are gone: there's no avoiding me,
And these are Algazeirs, do you hear that passing bell?
Lop.
A strong Citation, bless me!
Bar.
Out with your Beads, Curate,
The Devil's in your dish: bell, book, and Candle.
Lop.
A warrant to appear before the Judges!
I must needs rise, and turn to th' wall.
Bar.
Ye need not,
Your fear I hope will make ye find your Breeches.
All.
We are betrai'd.
Bar.
Invited do not wrong me,
Fall to, good Guests, you have diligent men about ye,
Ye shall want nothing that may persecute ye,
These will not see ye start; Have I now found ye?
Have I requited ye? You fool'd the Lawyer,
And thought it meritorious to abuse him,
A thick ram-headed knave: you rid, you spur'd him,
And glorified your wits, the more ye wronged him;
Within this hour ye shall have all your Creditours,
A second dish of new debts, come upon ye,
And new invitements to the whip,Don Diego,
And Excommunications for the learned Curate,
A Masque of all your furies shall dance to ye.
Ars.
You dare not use us thus?
Bar.
You shall be bob'd, Gentlemen,
Stir, and as I have a life, ye goe to prison,
To prison, without pitie instantly,
Before ye speak another word to prison.
I have a better Guard without, that waits;
Do you see this man,DonCurate? 'tis a Paratour
That comes to tell ye a delightfull story
Of an old whore ye have, and then to teach ye
What is the penaltie; Laugh at me now Sir,
What Legacie would ye bequeath me now,
(And pay it on the nail?) to fly my fury?
Lop.
O gentle Sir.
Bar.
Do'st thou hope I will be gentle,
Thou foolish unconsiderate Curate?
Lop.
Let me goe Sir.
Bar.
I'le see thee hang first.
Lop.
And as I am a true Vicar,
Hark in your ear, hark softly—
Bar.
No, no bribery.
I'le have my swindge upon thee; Sirra? Rascal?
You Lenten Chaps, you that lay sick, and mockt me,
Mockt me abominably, abused me lewdly,
I'le make thee sick at heart, before I leave thee,
And groan, and dye indeed, and be worth nothing,
Not worth a blessing, nor a Bell to knell for thee,
A sheet to cover thee, but that thou Stealest,
Stealest from the Merchant, and the Ring he was buried with
Stealest from his Grave, do you smell me now?
Die.
Have mercy on me!
Bar.
No Psalm of mercy shall hold me from hanging thee.
How do ye like your Breakfast? 'tis but short, Gentlemen,
But sweet and healthfull; Your punishment, and yours, Sir,
For some near reasons that concern my Credit,
I will take to my self.
Am.
Doe Sir, and spare not:
I have been too good a wife, and too obedient,
But since ye dare provoke me to be foolish—
Lea.
She has, yes, and too worthie of your usage,
Before the world I justifie her goodness,
And turn that man, that dares but taint her vertues,
To my Swords point; that lying man, that base man,
Turn him, but face to face, that I may know him.