This Peeper using both Fan and Eyes to be considered as a
Pict,
and proceed accordingly.
KingLatinusto theSpectator, Greeting.'Tho' some may think we descend from our Imperial Dignity, in holding Correspondence with a privateLitterato2; yet as we have great Respect to all good Intentions for our Service, we do not esteem it beneath us to return you our Royal Thanks for what you published in our Behalf, while under Confinement in the Inchanted Castle of theSavoy, and for your Mention of a Subsidy for a Prince in Misfortune. This your timely Zeal has inclined the Hearts of divers to be aiding unto us, if we could propose the Means. We have taken their Good will into Consideration, and have contrived a Method which will be easy to those who shall give the Aid, and not unacceptable to us who receive it. A Consort of Musick shall be prepared atHaberdashers-HallforWednesdaythe Second ofMay, and we will honour the said Entertainment with our own Presence, where each Person shall be assessed but at two Shillings and six Pence. What we expect from you is, that you publish these our Royal Intentions, with Injunction that they be read at all Tea-Tables within the Cities ofLondonandWestminster; and so we bid you heartily Farewell.Latinus, King of theVolscians.'Given at our Court inVinegar-Yard,Story the Third from the Earth.April 28, 1711.
R.
Footnote 1:
Epictetus his Morals, with Simplicius his Comment,
was translated by George Stanhope in 1694. The citation above is a free rendering of the sense of cap. 62 of the Morals.
return to footnote mark
Footnote 2:
Litterati
return
ContentsContents p.2
... Sirenua nos exercet inertia.Hor.
The following Letter being the first that I have received from the learned University of
Cambridge
, I could not but do my self the Honour of publishing it. It gives an Account of a new Sect of Philosophers which has arose in that famous Residence of Learning; and is, perhaps, the only Sect this Age is likely to produce.
Cambridge, April 26.Mr.Spectator,'Believing you to be an universal Encourager of liberal Arts and Sciences, and glad of any Information from the learned World, I thought an Account of a Sect of Philosophers very frequent among us, but not taken Notice of, as far as I can remember, by any Writers either ancient or modern, would not be unacceptable to you. The Philosophers of this Sect are in the Language of our University calledLowngers. I am of Opinion, that, as in many other things, so likewise in this, the Ancients have been defective;viz. in mentioning no Philosophers of this Sort. Some indeed will affirm that they are a kind of Peripateticks, because we see them continually walking about. But I would have these Gentlemen consider, that tho' the ancient Peripateticks walked much, yet they wrote much also; (witness, to the Sorrow of this Sect,Aristotleand others): Whereas it is notorious that most of our Professors never lay out a Farthing either in Pen, Ink, or Paper. Others are for deriving them fromDiogenes, because several of the leading Men of the Sect have a great deal of the cynical Humour in them, and delight much in Sun-shine. But then again,Diogeneswas content to have his constant Habitation in a narrow Tub; whilst our Philosophers are so far from being of his Opinion, that it's Death to them to be confined within the Limits of a good handsome convenient Chamber but for half an Hour.Othersthere are, who from the Clearness of their Heads deduce the Pedigree ofLowngersfrom that great Man (I think it was eitherPlatoorSocrates1) who after all his Study and Learning professed, That all he then knew was, that he knew nothing. You easily see this is but a shallow Argument, and may be soon confuted.I have with great Pains and Industry made my Observations from time to time upon these Sages; and having now all Materials ready, am compiling a Treatise, wherein I shall set forth the Rise and Progress of this famous Sect, together with their Maxims, Austerities, Manner of living, &c. Having prevailed with a Friend who designs shortly to publish a new Edition ofDiogenes Laertius, to add this Treatise of mine by way of Supplement; I shall now, to let the World see what may be expected from me (first begging Mr.Spectator'sLeave that the World may see it) briefly touch upon some of my chief Observations, and then subscribe my self your humble Servant. In the first Place I shall give you two or three of their Maxims: The fundamental one, upon which their whole System is built, is this, viz. That Time being an implacable Enemy to and Destroyer of all things, ought to be paid in his own Coin, and be destroyed and murdered without Mercy by all the Ways that can be invented. Another favourite Saying of theirs is, That Business was designed only for Knaves, and Study for Blockheads. A third seems to be a ludicrous one, but has a great Effect upon their Lives; and is this, That the Devil is at Home. Now for their Manner of Living: And here I have a large Field to expatiate in; but I shall reserve Particulars for my intended Discourse, and now only mention one or two of their principal Exercises. The elder Proficients employ themselves in inspectingmores hominum multorum, in getting acquainted with all the Signs and Windows in the Town. Some are arrived at so great Knowledge, that they can tell every time any Butcher kills a Calf, every time any old Woman's Cat is in the Straw; and a thousand other Matters as important. One ancient Philosopher contemplates two or three Hours every Day over a Sun-Dial; and is true to the Dial,...Asthe Dial to the Sun, Although it be not shone upon2.Our younger Students are content to carry their Speculations as yet no farther than Bowling-greens, Billiard-Tables, and such like Places. This may serve for a Sketch of my Design; in which I hope I shall have your Encouragement.I am,Sir,Yours3.
...Asthe Dial to the Sun, Although it be not shone upon2.
I must be so just as to observe I have formerly seen of this Sect at our other University; tho' not distinguished by the Appellation which the learned Historian, my Correspondent, reports they bear at
Cambridge
. They were ever looked upon as a People that impaired themselves more by their strict Application to the Rules of their Order, than any other Students whatever. Others seldom hurt themselves any further than to gain weak Eyes and sometimes Head-Aches; but these Philosophers are seized all over with a general Inability, Indolence, and Weariness, and a certain Impatience of the Place they are in, with an Heaviness in removing to another.
The
Lowngers
are satisfied with being merely Part of the Number of Mankind, without distinguishing themselves from amongst them. They may be said rather to suffer their Time to pass, than to spend it, without Regard to the past, or Prospect of the future. All they know of Life is only the present Instant, and do not taste even that. When one of this Order happens to be a Man of Fortune, the Expence of his Time is transferr'd to his Coach and Horses, and his Life is to be measured by their Motion, not his own Enjoyments or Sufferings. The chief Entertainment one of these Philosophers can possibly propose to himself, is to get a Relish of Dress: This, methinks, might diversifie the Person he is weary of (his own dear self) to himself. I have known these two Amusements make one of these Philosophers make a tolerable Figure in the World; with a variety of Dresses in publick Assemblies in Town, and quick Motion of his Horses out of it, now to
Bath
, now to
Tunbridge
, then to
Newmarket
, and then to
London
, he has in Process of Time brought it to pass, that his Coach and his Horses have been mentioned in all those Places. When the
Lowngers
leave an Academick Life, and instead of this more elegant way of appearing in the polite World, retire to the Seats of their Ancestors, they usually join a Pack of Dogs, and employ their Days in defending their Poultry from Foxes: I do not know any other Method that any of this Order has ever taken to make a Noise in the World; but I shall enquire into such about this Town as have arrived at the Dignity of being
Lowngers
by the Force of natural Parts, without having ever seen an University; and send my Correspondent, for the Embellishment of his Book, the Names and History of those who pass their Lives without any Incidents at all; and how they shift Coffee-houses and Chocolate-houses from Hour to Hour, to get over the insupportable Labour of doing nothing. R.
Footnote 1:
Socrates in his
Apology
, or
Defence
before his Judges, as reported by Plato. The oracle having said that there was none wiser than he, he had sought to confute the oracle, and found the wise man of the world foolish through belief in his own wisdom.
'When I left him I reasoned thus with myself, I am wiser than this man, for neither of us appears to know anything great and good; but he fancies he knows something, although he knows nothing, whereas I, as I do not know anything, do not fancy that I do.'
return to footnote mark
Footnote 2:
True as Dial to the Sun,Although it be not shined upon.
Hudibras
. Part III. c. 2.
return
Footnote 3:
This Letter may be by Laurence Eusden. See Note to
No. 78
.
return
ContentsContents p.2
... Intus, et in jecore ægroNascuntur Domini ...Pers.
Most of the Trades, Professions, and Ways of Living among Mankind, take their Original either from the Love of Pleasure or the Fear of Want. The former, when it becomes too violent, degenerates into
Luxury
, and the latter into
Avarice
. As these two Principles of Action draw different Ways,
Persius
has given us a very humourous Account of a young Fellow who was rouzed out of his Bed, in order to be sent upon a long Voyage, by
Avarice
, and afterwards over-persuaded and kept at Home by
Luxury
. I shall set down at length the Pleadings of these two imaginary Persons, as they are in the Original with Mr.
Dryden's
Translation of them.
Mane, piger, stertis: surge, inquit Avaritia; ejaSurge. Negas, Instat, surge inquit. Non queo. Surge.Et quid agam? Rogitas? Saperdas advehe Ponto,Castoreum, stuppas, hebenum, thus, lubrica Coa.Tolle recens primus piper è siliente camelo.Verte aliquid; jura. Sed Jupiter Audiet. Eheu!Baro, regustatum digito terebrare salinumContentus perages, si vivere cum Jove tendis.Jam pueris pellem succinctus et ænophorum aptas;Ocyus ad Navem. Nil obstat quin trabe vastaÆgæum rapias, nisi solers Luxuria anteSeductum moneat; quo deinde, insane ruis? Quo?Quid tibi vis? Calido sub pectore mascula bilisIntumuit, quam non extinxerit urna cicutæ?Tun' mare transilias? Tibi torta cannabe fultoCœna sit in transtro? Veientanúmque rubellumExhalet vapida læsum pice sessilis obba?Quid petis? Ut nummi, quos hic quincunce modestoNutrieras, pergant avidos sudare deunces?Indulge genio: carpamus dulcia; nostrum estQuod vivis; cinis, et manes, et fabula fies.Vive memor lethi: fugit hora. Hoc quod loquor, inde est.En quid agis? Duplici in diversum scinderis hamo.Hunccine, an hunc sequeris! — —Whether alone, or in thy Harlot's Lap,When thou wouldst take a lazy Morning's Nap;Up, up, saysAvarice; thou snor'st again,Stretchest thy Limbs, and yawn'st, but all in vain.The rugged Tyrant no Denial takes;At his Command th' unwilling Sluggard wakes.What must I do? he cries; What? says his Lord:Why rise, make ready, and go streight Aboard:With Fish, fromEuxineSeas, thy Vessel freight;Flax, Castor,CoanWines, the precious WeightOf Pepper andSabeanIncense, takeWith thy own Hands, from the tir'd Camel's Back,And with Post-haste thy running Markets make.Be sure to turn the Penny; Lye and Swear,'Tis wholsome Sin: ButJove, thou say'st, will hear.Swear, Fool, or Starve; for theDilemma'seven:A Tradesman thou! and hope to go to Heav'n?Resolv'd for Sea, the Slaves thy Baggage pack,Each saddled with his Burden on his Back.Nothing retards thy Voyage, now; but He,That soft voluptuous Prince, call'dLuxury;And he may ask this civil Question; Friend,What dost thou make a Shipboard? To what End?Art thou ofBethlem'snoble College free?Stark, staring mad, that thou wouldst tempt the Sea?Cubb'd in a Cabbin, on a Mattress laid,On a brownGeorge, with lousy Swobbers fed;Dead Wine, that stinks of theBorachio, supFrom a foul Jack, or greasy Maple Cup!Say, wouldst thou bear all this, to raise the Store,From Six i'th' Hundred to Six Hundred more?Indulge, and to thy Genius freely give:For, not to live at Ease, is not, to live:Death stalks behind thee, and each flying HourDoes some loose Remnant of thy Life devour.Live, while thou liv'st; for Death will make us all,A Name, a Nothing but an Old Wife's Tale.Speak, wilt thouAvariceorPleasurechooseTo be thy Lord? Take one, and one refuse.
When a Government flourishes in Conquests, and is secure from foreign Attacks, it naturally falls into all the Pleasures of Luxury; and as these Pleasures are very expensive, they put those who are addicted to them upon raising fresh Supplies of Mony, by all the Methods of Rapaciousness and Corruption; so that Avarice and Luxury very often become one complicated Principle of Action, in those whose Hearts are wholly set upon Ease, Magnificence, and Pleasure.
The
most Elegant and Correct of all the
Latin
Historians observes, that in his time, when the most formidable States of the World were subdued by the
Romans
, the Republick sunk into those two Vices of a quite different Nature, Luxury and Avarice
1
: And accordingly describes
Catiline
as one who coveted the Wealth of other Men, at the same time that he squander'd away his own. This Observation on the Commonwealth, when it was in its height of Power and Riches, holds good of all Governments that are settled in a State of Ease and Prosperity. At such times Men naturally endeavour to outshine one another in Pomp and Splendor, and having no Fears to alarm them from abroad, indulge themselves in the Enjoyment of all the Pleasures they can get into their Possession; which naturally produces Avarice, and an immoderate Pursuit after Wealth and Riches.
As I was humouring my self in the Speculation of these two great Principles of Action, I could not forbear throwing my Thoughts into a little kind of Allegory or Fable, with which I shall here present my Reader.
There were two very powerful Tyrants engaged in a perpetual War against each other: The Name of the first was
Luxury
, and of the second
Avarice
. The Aim of each of them was no less than Universal Monarchy over the Hearts of Mankind.
Luxury
had many Generals under him, who did him great Service, as
Pleasure
,
Mirth
,
Pomp
and
Fashion
.
Avarice
was likewise very strong in his Officers, being faithfully served by
Hunger
,
Industry
,
Care
and
Watchfulness
: He had likewise a Privy-Counsellor who was always at his Elbow, and whispering something or other in his Ear: The Name of this Privy-Counsellor was
Poverty
. As
Avarice
conducted himself by the Counsels of
Poverty
, his Antagonist was entirely guided by the Dictates and Advice of
Plenty
, who was his first Counsellor and Minister of State, that concerted all his Measures for him, and never departed out of his Sight. While these two great Rivals were thus contending for Empire, their Conquests were very various.
Luxury
got Possession of one Heart, and
Avarice
of another. The Father of a Family would often range himself under the Banners of
Avarice
, and the Son under those of
Luxury
. The Wife and Husband would often declare themselves on the two different Parties; nay, the same Person would very often side with one in his Youth, and revolt to the other in his old Age. Indeed the Wise Men of the World stood
Neuter
; but alas! their Numbers were not considerable. At length, when these two Potentates had wearied themselves with waging War upon one another, they agreed upon an Interview, at which neither of their Counsellors were to be present. It is said that
Luxury
began the Parley, and after having represented the endless State of War in which they were engaged, told his Enemy, with a Frankness of Heart which is natural to him, that he believed they two should be very good Friends, were it not for the Instigations of
Poverty
, that pernicious Counsellor, who made an ill use of his Ear, and filled him with groundless Apprehensions and Prejudices. To this
Avarice
replied, that he looked upon
Plenty
(the first Minister of his Antagonist) to be a much more destructive Counsellor than
Poverty
, for that he was perpetually suggesting Pleasures, banishing all the necessary Cautions against Want, and consequently undermining those Principles on which the Government of
Avarice
was founded. At last, in order to an Accommodation, they agreed upon this Preliminary; That each of them should immediately dismiss his Privy-Counsellor. When things were thus far adjusted towards a Peace, all other differences were soon accommodated, insomuch that for the future they resolved to live as good Friends and Confederates, and to share between them whatever Conquests were made on either side. For this Reason, we now find
Luxury
and
Avarice
taking Possession of the same Heart, and dividing the same Person between them. To which I shall only add, that since the discarding of the Counsellors above-mentioned,
Avarice
supplies
Luxury
in the room of
Plenty
, as
Luxury
prompts
Avarice
in the place of
Poverty
.
C.
Footnote 1:
Alieni appetens, sui profusus.
Sallust.
return to footnote mark
ContentsContents p.2
Felices errore suo ...Lucan.
The
Americans
believe that all Creatures have Souls, not only Men and Women, but Brutes, Vegetables, nay even the most inanimate things, as Stocks and Stones. They believe the same of all the Works of Art, as of Knives, Boats, Looking-glasses: And that as any of these things perish, their Souls go into another World, which is inhabited by the Ghosts of Men and Women. For this Reason they always place by the Corpse of their dead Friend a Bow and Arrows, that he may make use of the Souls of them in the other World, as he did of their wooden Bodies in this. How absurd soever such an Opinion as this may appear, our
European
Philosophers have maintained several Notions altogether as improbable. Some of
Plato's
followers in particular, when they talk of the World of Ideas, entertain us with Substances and Beings no less extravagant and chimerical. Many
Aristotelians
have likewise spoken as unintelligibly of their substantial Forms.
I
shall only instance
Albertus Magnus
, who in his Dissertation upon the Loadstone observing that Fire will destroy its magnetick Vertues, tells us that he took particular Notice of one as it lay glowing amidst an Heap of burning Coals, and that he perceived a certain blue Vapour to arise from it, which he believed might be the
substantial Form
, that is, in our
West-Indian
Phrase, the
Soul
of the Loadstone
1
.
There is a Tradition among the
Americans
, that one of their Countrymen descended in a Vision to the great Repository of Souls, or, as we call it here, to the other World; and that upon his Return he gave his Friends a distinct Account of every thing he saw among those Regions of the Dead.
A
Friend of mine, whom I have formerly mentioned, prevailed upon one of the Interpreters of the
Indian
Kings
2
, to inquire of them, if possible, what Tradition they have among them of this Matter: Which, as well as he could learn by those many Questions which he asked them at several times, was in Substance as follows.
The Visionary, whose Name was
Marraton
, after having travelled for a long Space under an hollow Mountain, arrived at length on the Confines of this World of Spirits; but could not enter it by reason of a thick Forest made up of Bushes, Brambles and pointed Thorns, so perplexed and interwoven with one another, that it was impossible to find a Passage through it. Whilst he was looking about for some Track or Path-way that might be worn in any Part of it, he saw an huge Lion crouched under the Side of it, who kept his Eye upon him in the same Posture as when he watches for his Prey. The
Indian
immediately started back, whilst the Lion rose with a Spring, and leaped towards him. Being wholly destitute of all other Weapons, he stooped down to take up an huge Stone in his Hand; but to his infinite Surprize grasped nothing, and found the supposed Stone to be only the Apparition of one. If he was disappointed on this Side, he was as much pleased on the other, when he found the Lion, which had seized on his left Shoulder, had no Power to hurt him, and was only the Ghost of that ravenous Creature which it appeared to be. He no sooner got rid of his impotent Enemy, but he marched up to the Wood, and after having surveyed it for some Time, endeavoured to press into one Part of it that was a little thinner than the rest; when again, to his great Surprize, he found the Bushes made no Resistance, but that he walked through Briars and Brambles with the same Ease as through the open Air; and, in short, that the whole Wood was nothing else but a Wood of Shades. He immediately concluded, that this huge Thicket of Thorns and Brakes was designed as a kind of Fence or quick-set Hedge to the Ghosts it inclosed; and that probably their soft Substances might be torn by these subtle Points and Prickles, which were too weak to make any Impressions in Flesh and Blood. With this Thought he resolved to travel through this intricate Wood; when by Degrees he felt a Gale of Perfumes breathing upon him, that grew stronger and sweeter in Proportion as he advanced. He had not proceeded much further when he observed the Thorns and Briars to end, and give place to a thousand beautiful green Trees covered with Blossoms of the finest Scents and Colours, that formed a Wilderness of Sweets, and were a kind of Lining to those ragged Scenes which he had before passed through. As he was coming out of this delightful Part of the Wood, and entering upon the Plains it inclosed, he saw several Horsemen rushing by him, and a little while after heard the Cry of a Pack of Dogs. He had not listned long before he saw the Apparition of a milk-white Steed, with a young Man on the Back of it, advancing upon full Stretch after the Souls of about an hundred Beagles that were hunting down the Ghost of an Hare, which ran away before them with an unspeakable Swiftness. As the Man on the milk-white Steed came by him, he looked upon him very attentively, and found him to be the young Prince
Nicharagua
, who died about Half a Year before, and, by reason of his great Vertues, was at that time lamented over all the Western Parts of
America
.
He
had no sooner got out of the Wood, but he was entertained with such a Landskip of flowry Plains, green Meadows, running Streams, sunny Hills, and shady Vales, as were not to be
represented
3
by his own Expressions, nor, as he said, by the Conceptions of others.
This
happy Region was peopled with innumerable Swarms of Spirits, who applied themselves to Exercises and Diversions according as their Fancies led them. Some of them were tossing the Figure of a Colt; others were pitching the Shadow of a Bar; others were breaking the Apparition of
a
4
Horse; and Multitudes employing themselves upon ingenious Handicrafts with the Souls of
departed Utensils
; for that is the Name which in the
Indian
Language they give their Tools when they are burnt or broken. As he travelled through this delightful Scene, he was very often tempted to pluck the Flowers that rose every where about him in the greatest Variety and Profusion, having never seen several of them in his own Country: But he quickly found that though they were Objects of his Sight, they were not liable to his Touch. He at length came to the Side of a great River, and being a good Fisherman himself stood upon the Banks of it some time to look upon an Angler that had taken a great many Shapes of Fishes, which lay flouncing up and down by him.