Love
and
Esteem
are the first Principles of Friendship, which always is imperfect where either of these two is wanting.
As, on the one hand, we are soon ashamed of loving a Man whom we cannot esteem: so, on the other, tho we are truly sensible of a Man's Abilities, we can never raise ourselves to the Warmths of Friendship, without an affectionate Good-will towards his Person.
Friendship immediately banishes
Envy
under all its Disguises. A Man who can once doubt whether he should rejoice in his Friends being happier than himself, may depend upon it that he is an utter Stranger to this Virtue.
There is something in Friendship so very great and noble, that in those fictitious Stories which are invented to the Honour of any particular Person, the Authors have thought it as necessary to make their Hero a Friend as a Lover.
Achilles
has his
Patroclus
, and
Æneas
his
Achates
. In the first of these Instances we may observe, for the Reputation of the Subject I am treating of, that
Greece
was almost ruin'd by the Hero's Love, but was preserved by his Friendship.
The Character of
Achates
suggests to us an Observation we may often make on the Intimacies of great Men, who frequently chuse their Companions rather for the Qualities of the Heart than those of the Head, and prefer Fidelity in an easy inoffensive complying Temper to those Endowments which make a much greater Figure among Mankind. I do not remember that
Achates
, who is represented as the first Favourite, either gives his Advice, or strikes a Blow, thro' the whole
Æneid
.
A Friendship which makes the least noise, is very often most useful: for which reason I should prefer a prudent Friend to a zealous one.
Atticus
, one of the best Men of ancient
Rome
, was a very remarkable Instance of what I am here speaking. This extraordinary Person, amidst the Civil Wars of his Country, when he saw the Designs of all Parties equally tended to the Subversion of Liberty, by constantly preserving the Esteem and Affection of both the Competitors, found means to serve his Friends on either side: and while he sent Money to young
Marius
, whose Father was declared an Enemy of the Commonwealth, he was himself one of
Sylla's
chief Favourites, and always near that General.
During the War between
Cæsar
and
Pompey
, he still maintained the same Conduct. After the Death of
Cæsar
he sent Money to
Brutus
in his Troubles, and did a thousand good Offices to
Antony's
Wife and Friends when that Party seemed ruined. Lastly, even in that bloody War between
Antony
and
Augustus
,
Atticus
still kept his place in both their Friendships; insomuch that the first, says
Cornelius Nepos
, whenever he was absent from
Rome
in any part of the Empire, writ punctually to him what he was doing, what he read, and whither he intended to go; and the latter gave him constantly an exact Account of all his Affairs.
A Likeness of Inclinations in every Particular is so far from being requisite to form a Benevolence in two Minds towards each other, as it is generally imagined, that I believe we shall find some of the firmest Friendships to have been contracted between Persons of different Humours; the Mind being often pleased with those Perfections which are new to it, and which it does not find among its own Accomplishments. Besides that a Man in some measure supplies his own Defects, and fancies himself at second hand possessed of those good Qualities and Endowments, which are in the possession of him who in the Eye of the World is looked on as his other self.
The most difficult Province in Friendship is the letting a Man see his Faults and Errors, which should, if possible, be so contrived, that he may perceive our Advice is given him not so much to please ourselves as for his own Advantage. The Reproaches therefore of a Friend should always be strictly just, and not too frequent.
The violent Desire of pleasing in the Person reproved, may otherwise change into a Despair of doing it, while he finds himself censur'd for Faults he is not Conscious of. A Mind that is softened and humanized by Friendship, cannot bear frequent Reproaches; either it must quite sink under the Oppression, or abate considerably of the Value and Esteem it had for him who bestows them.
The proper Business of Friendship is to inspire Life and Courage; and a Soul thus supported, outdoes itself: whereas if it be unexpectedly deprived of these Succours, it droops and languishes.
We are in some measure more inexcusable if we violate our Duties to a Friend, than to a Relation: since the former arise from a voluntary Choice, the latter from a Necessity to which we could not give our own Consent.
As it has been said on one side, that a Man ought not to break with a faulty Friend, that he may not expose the Weakness of his Choice; it will doubtless hold much stronger with respect to a worthy one, that he may never be upbraided for having lost so valuable a Treasure which was once in his Possession.
X.
Contents
Cum Tristibus severe, cum Remissis jucunde, cum Senibus graviter, cum Juventute comiter vivere.Tull.translation
The piece of
Latin
on the Head of this Paper is part of a Character extremely vicious, but I have set down no more than may fall in with the Rules of Justice and Honour.
Cicero
spoke it of
Catiline
, who, he said,
lived with the Sad severely, with the Chearful agreeably, with the Old gravely, with the Young pleasantly; he added, with the Wicked boldly, with the Wanton lasciviously.
The two last Instances of his Complaisance I forbear to consider, having it in my thoughts at present only to speak of obsequious Behaviour as it sits upon a Companion in Pleasure, not a Man of Design and Intrigue. To vary with every Humour in this Manner, cannot be agreeable, except it comes from a Man's own Temper and natural Complection; to do it out of an Ambition to excel that Way, is the most fruitless and unbecoming Prostitution imaginable. To put on an artful Part to obtain no other End but an unjust Praise from the Undiscerning, is of all Endeavours the most despicable. A Man must be sincerely pleased to become Pleasure, or not to interrupt that of others: For this Reason it is a most calamitous Circumstance, that many People who want to be alone or should be so, will come into Conversation. It is certain, that all Men who are the least given to Reflection, are seized with an Inclination that Way; when, perhaps, they had rather be inclined to Company: but indeed they had better go home, and be tired with themselves, than force themselves upon others to recover their good Humour. In
all
this the Cases of communicating to a Friend a sad Thought or Difficulty, in order to relieve
a
1
heavy Heart, stands excepted; but what is here meant, is, that a Man should always go with Inclination to the Turn of the Company he is going into, or not pretend to be of the Party. It is certainly a very happy Temper to be able to live with all kinds of Dispositions, because it argues a Mind that lies open to receive what is pleasing to others, and not obstinately bent on any Particularity of its own.
This is that which makes me pleased with the Character of my good Acquaintance
Acasto
. You meet him at the Tables and Conversations of the Wise, the Impertinent, the Grave, the Frolick, and the Witty; and yet his own Character has nothing in it that can make him particularly agreeable to any one Sect of Men; but
Acasto
has natural good Sense, good Nature and Discretion, so that every Man enjoys himself in his company; and tho'
Acasto
contributes nothing to the Entertainment, he never was at a Place where he was not welcome a second time. Without these subordinate good Qualities of
Acasto
, a Man of Wit and Learning would be painful to the Generality of Mankind, instead of being pleasing. Witty Men are apt to imagine they are agreeable as such, and by that means grow the worst Companions imaginable; they deride the Absent or rally the Present in a wrong manner, not knowing that if you pinch or tickle a Man till he is uneasy in his Seat, or ungracefully distinguished from the rest of the Company, you equally hurt him.
I was going to say, the true Art of being agreeable in Company, (but there can be no such thing as Art in it) is to appear well pleased with those you are engaged with, and rather to seem well entertained, than to bring Entertainment to others. A Man thus disposed is not indeed what we ordinarily call a good Companion, but essentially is such, and in all the Parts of his Conversation has something friendly in his Behaviour, which conciliates Men's Minds more than the highest Sallies of Wit or Starts of Humour can possibly do. The Feebleness of Age in a Man of this Turn, has something which should be treated with respect even in a Man no otherwise venerable. The Forwardness of Youth, when it proceeds from Alacrity and not Insolence, has also its Allowances. The Companion who is formed for such by Nature, gives to every Character of Life its due Regards, and is ready to account for their Imperfections, and receive their Accomplishments as if they were his own. It must appear that you receive Law from, and not give it to your Company, to make you agreeable.
I remember
Tully
, speaking, I think, of
Anthony
, says, That
in eo facetiæ erant, quæ nulla arte tradi possunt: He had a witty Mirth, which could be acquired by no Art.
This Quality must be of the Kind of which I am now speaking; for all sorts of Behaviour which depend upon Observation and Knowledge of Life, is to be acquired: but that which no one can describe, and is apparently the Act of Nature, must be every where prevalent, because every thing it meets is a fit Occasion to exert it; for he who follows Nature, can never be improper or unseasonable.
How unaccountable then must their Behaviour be, who, without any manner of Consideration of what the Company they have just now entered are upon, give themselves the Air of a Messenger, and make as distinct Relations of the Occurrences they last met with, as if they had been dispatched from those they talk to, to be punctually exact in a Report of those Circumstances: It is unpardonable to those who are met to enjoy one another, that a fresh Man shall pop in, and give us only the last part of his own Life, and put a stop to ours during the History. If such a Man comes from Change, whether you will or not, you must hear how the Stocks go; and tho' you are ever so intently employed on a graver Subject, a young Fellow of the other end of the Town will take his place, and tell you, Mrs. Such-a-one is charmingly handsome, because he just now saw her. But I think I need not dwell on this Subject, since I have acknowledged there can be no Rules made for excelling this Way; and Precepts of this kind fare like Rules for writing Poetry, which, 'tis said, may have prevented ill Poets, but never made good ones.
T.
Footnote 1:
an
return to footnote mark
Contents
Quid purè tranquillet—Hor.translation
In my last
Saturday's
Paper I spoke of
Chearfulness
as it is
a Moral Habit of the Mind
, and accordingly mentioned such moral Motives as are apt to cherish and keep alive this happy Temper in the Soul of Man: I shall now consider Chearfulness in its natural State, and reflect on those Motives to it, which are indifferent either as to Virtue or Vice.
Chearfulness is, in the first place, the best Promoter of Health. Repinings and secret Murmurs of Heart, give imperceptible Strokes to those delicate Fibres of which the vital parts are composed, and wear out the Machine insensibly; not to mention those violent Ferments which they stir up in the Blood, and those irregular disturbed Motions, which they raise in the animal Spirits. I scarce remember, in my own Observation, to have met with many old Men, or with such, who (to use our
English
Phrase) wear well, that had not at least a certain Indolence in their Humour, if not a more than ordinary Gaiety and Chearfulness of Heart. The truth of it is, Health and Chearfulness mutually beget each other; with this difference, that we seldom meet with a great degree of Health which is not attended with a certain Chearfulness, but very often see Chearfulness where there is no great degree of Health.
Chearfulness bears the same friendly regard to the Mind as to the Body: It banishes all anxious Care and Discontent, sooths and composes the Passions, and keeps the Soul in a Perpetual Calm. But having already touched on this last Consideration, I shall here take notice, that the World, in which we are placed, is filled with innumerable Objects that are proper to raise and keep alive this happy Temper of Mind.
If we consider the World in its Subserviency to Man, one would think it was made for our Use; but if we consider it in its natural Beauty and Harmony, one would be apt to conclude it was made for our Pleasure. The Sun, which is as the great Soul of the Universe, and produces all the Necessaries of Life, has a particular Influence in chearing the Mind of Man, and making the Heart glad.
Those several living Creatures which are made for our Service or Sustenance, at the same time either fill the Woods with their Musick, furnish us with Game, or raise pleasing Ideas in us by the delightfulness of their Appearance, Fountains, Lakes, and Rivers, are as refreshing to the Imagination, as to the Soil through which they pass.
There are Writers of great Distinction, who have made it an Argument for Providence, that the whole Earth is covered with Green, rather than with any other Colour, as being such a right Mixture of Light and Shade, that it comforts and strengthens the Eye instead of weakning or grieving it. For this reason several Painters have a green Cloth hanging near them, to ease the Eye upon, after too great an Application to their Colouring. A
famous
modern Philosopher
2
accounts for it in the following manner:
All Colours that are more luminous, overpower and dissipate the animal Spirits which are employd in Sight; on the contrary, those that are more obscure do not give the animal Spirits a sufficient Exercise; whereas the Rays that produce in us the Idea of Green, fall upon the Eye in such a due proportion, that they give the animal Spirits their proper Play, and by keeping up the struggle in a just Ballance, excite a very pleasing and agreeable Sensation
. Let the Cause be what it will, the Effect is certain, for which reason the Poets ascribe to this particular Colour the Epithet of Chearful.
To consider further this double End in the Works of Nature, and how they are at the same time both useful and entertaining, we find that the most important Parts in the vegetable World are those which are the most beautiful. These are the Seeds by which the several Races of Plants are propagated and continued, and which are always lodged in Flowers or Blossoms. Nature seems to hide her principal Design, and to be industrious in making the Earth gay and delightful, while she is carrying on her great Work, and intent upon her own Preservation. The Husbandman after the same manner is employed in laying out the whole Country into a kind of Garden or Landskip, and making every thing smile about him, whilst in reality he thinks of nothing but of the Harvest, and Encrease which is to arise from it.
We may further observe how Providence has taken care to keep up this Chearfulness in the Mind of Man, by having formed it after such a manner, as to make it capable of conceiving Delight from several Objects which seem to have very little use in them; as from the Wildness of Rocks and Desarts, and the like grotesque Parts of Nature. Those who are versed in Philosophy may still carry this Consideration higher, by observing that if Matter had appeared to us endowed only with those real Qualities which it actually possesses, it would have made but a very joyless and uncomfortable Figure; and why has Providence given it a Power of producing in us such imaginary Qualities, as Tastes and Colours, Sounds and Smells, Heat and Cold, but that Man, while he is conversant in the lower Stations of Nature, might have his Mind cheared and delighted with agreeable Sensations? In short, the whole Universe is a kind of Theatre filled with Objects that either raise in us Pleasure, Amusement, or Admiration.
The Reader's own Thoughts will suggest to him the Vicissitude of Day and Night, the Change of Seasons, with all that Variety of Scenes which diversify the Face of Nature, and fill the Mind with a perpetual Succession of beautiful and pleasing Images.
I shall not here mention the several Entertainments of Art, with the Pleasures of Friendship, Books, Conversation, and other accidental Diversions of Life, because I would only take notice of such Incitements to a Chearful Temper, as offer themselves to Persons of all Ranks and Conditions, and which may sufficiently shew us that Providence did not design this World should be filled with Murmurs and Repinings, or that the Heart of Man should be involved in Gloom and Melancholy.
I the more inculcate this Chearfulness of Temper, as it is a Virtue in which our Countrymen are observed to be more deficient than any other Nation. Melancholy is a kind of Demon that haunts our Island, and often conveys her self to us in an Easterly Wind. A celebrated
French
Novelist, in opposition to those who begin their Romances with the flow'ry Season of the Year, enters on his Story thus:
In the gloomy Month of November, when the People of England hang and drown themselves, a disconsolate Lover walked out into the Fields, &c.
Every one ought to fence against the Temper of his Climate or Constitution, and frequently to indulge in himself those Considerations which may give him a Serenity of Mind, and enable him to bear up chearfully against those little Evils and Misfortunes which are common to humane Nature, and which by a right Improvement of them will produce a Satiety of Joy, and an uninterrupted Happiness. At the same time that I would engage my Reader to consider the World in its most agreeable Lights, I must own there are many Evils which naturally spring up amidst the Entertainments that are provided for us; but these, if rightly consider'd, should be far from overcasting the Mind with Sorrow, or destroying that Chearfulness of Temper which I have been recommending. This Interspersion of Evil with Good, and Pain with Pleasure, in the Works of Nature, is very truly ascribed by Mr.
Locke
, in his
Essay on Human Understanding
, to a moral Reason, in the following Words:
Beyond all this, we may find another Reason why God hath scattered up and down several Degrees of Pleasure and Pain, in all the things that environ and affect us, and blended them together, in almost all that our Thoughts and Senses have to do with; that we finding Imperfection, Dissatisfaction, and Want of compleat Happiness in all the Enjoyments which the Creatures can afford us, might be led to seek it in the Enjoyment of him, with whom there is Fulness of Joy, and at whose Right Hand are Pleasures for evermore.
L.
Footnote 1:
Numbered by mistake, in the daily issue 388, No. 388 is then numbered 390; 389 is right, 390 is called 392, the next 391, which is right, another 392 follows, and thus the error is corrected.
return to footnote mark
Footnote 2:
Sir Isaac Newton.
return
Contents
—Tibi res antiquæ Laudis et ArtisIngredior; sanctos ausus recludere Fontes.Virg.translationMr.Spectator,It is my Custom, when I read your Papers, to read over the Quotations in the Authors from whence you take them: As you mentiond a Passage lately out of the second Chapter ofSolomon's Song, it occasion'd my looking into it; and upon reading it I thought the Ideas so exquisitely soft and tender, that I could not help making this Paraphrase of it; which, now it is done, I can as little forbear sending to you. Some Marks of your Approbation, which I have already receiv'd, have given me so sensible a Taste of them, that I cannot forbear endeavouring after them as often as I can with any Appearance of Success.I am,Sir,Yourmostobedient2humble Servant.IAs when in Sharon's Field the blushing RoseDoes its chaste Bosom to the Morn disclose,Whilst all around the Zephyrs bearThe fragrant Odours thro' the Air:Or as the Lilly in the shady Vale,Does o'er each Flower with beauteous Pride prevail,And stands with Dews and kindest Sun-shine blest,In fair Pre-eminence, superior to the rest:So if my Love, with happy Influence, shedHis Eyes bright Sun-shine on his Lover's Head,Then shall the Rose of Sharon's Field,And whitest Lillies to my Beauties yield.Then fairest Flowers with studious Art combine,The Roses with the Lillies join,Andtheir unitedCharms are3less than mine.IIAs much as fairest Lillies can surpassA Thorn in Beauty, or in Height the Grass;So does my Love among the Virgins shine,Adorn'd with Graces more than half Divine;Or as a Tree, that, glorious to behold,Is hung with Apples all of ruddy Gold,Hesperian Fruit! and beautifully high,Extends its Branches to the Sky;So does my Love the Virgin's Eyes invite:'Tishe alone can fix their wand'ring Sight,Among4ten thousand eminently bright.IIIBeneath this pleasing ShadeMy weaned Limbs at Ease I laid,And on his fragrant Boughs reclined my Head.I pull'd the Golden Fruit with eager haste;Sweet was the Fruit, and pleasing to the Taste:With sparkling Wine he crown'd the Bowl,With gentle Ecstacies he fill'd my Soul;Joyous we sate beneath the shady Grove,And o'er my Head he hung the Banners of his Love.IVI faint; I die! my labouring BreastIs with the mighty Weight of Love opprest:I feel the Fire possess my Heart,And pain conveyed to every Part.Thro' all my Veins the Passion flies,My feeble Soul forsakes its Place,A trembling Faintness seals my Eyes,And Paleness dwells upon my Face;Oh! let my Love with pow'rful Odours stayMy fainting lovesick Soul that dies away;One Hand beneath me let him place,With t'other press me in a chaste Embrace.VI charge you, Nymphs of Sion, as you goArm'd with the sounding Quiver and the Bow,Whilst thro' the lonesome Woods you rove,You ne'er disturb my sleeping Love,Be only gentle Zephyrs there,With downy Wings to fan the Air;Let sacred Silence dwell around,To keep off each intruding Sound:And when the balmy Slumber leaves his Eyes,May he to Joys, unknown till then, arise.VIBut see! he comes! with what majestick GateHe onward bears his lovely State!Now thro' the Lattice he appears,With softest Words dispels my Fears,Arise, my Fair-One, and receiveAll the Pleasures Love can give.For now the sullen Winters past,No more we fear the Northern Blast:No Storms nor threatning Clouds appear,No falling Rains deform the Year.My Love admits of no delay,Arise, my Fair, and come away.VIIAlready, see! the teeming EarthBrings forth the Flow'rs, her beauteous Birth.The Dews, and soft-descending Showers,Nurse the new-born tender Flow'rs.Hark! the Birds melodious sing,And sweetly usher in the Spring.Close by his Fellow sits the Dove,And billing whispers her his Love.The spreading Vines with Blossoms swell,Diffusing round a grateful Smell,Arise, my Fair-One, and receiveAll the Blessings Love can give:For Love admits of no delay,Arise, my Fair, and come away.VIIIAs to its Mate the constant DoveFlies thro' the Covert of the spicy Grove,So let us hasten to some lonely Shade,There let me safe in thy lov'd Arms be laid,Where no intruding hateful NoiseShall damp the Sound of thy melodious Voice;Where I may gaze, and mark each beauteous Grace;For sweet thy Voice, and lovely is thy Face.IXAs all of me, my Love, is thine,Let all of thee be ever mine.Among the Lillies we will play,Fairer, my Love, thou art than they,Till the purple Morn arise,And balmy Sleep forsake thine Eyes;Till the gladsome Beams of DayRemove the Shades of Night away;Then when soft Sleep shall from thy Eyes depart,Rise like the bounding Roe, or lusty Hart,Glad to behold the Light againFrom Bether's Mountains darting o'er the Plain.
T.
Footnote 1:
Percy had heard that a poetical translation of a chapter in the Proverbs, and another poetical translation from the Old Testament, were by Mr. Barr, a dissenting minister at Morton Hampstead in Devonshire.
return to footnote mark
Footnote 2:
obliged
return
Footnote 3: