Honoria's
Fan, and repeated,
Sedley hasthatprevailing gentle Art,That can with a resistless Charm impartThe loosest Wishes to the chastest Heart:Raise such a Conflict, kindle such a Fire,Between declining Virtue and Desire,Till the poor vanquish'd Maid dissolves awayIn Dreams all Night, in Sighs and Tears all Day.1
When
Crastin
had uttered these Verses with a Tenderness which at once spoke Passion and Respect,
Honoria
cast a triumphant Glance at
Flavia
, as exulting in the Elegance of
Crastin's
Courtship, and upbraiding her with the Homeliness of
Tulip's
.
Tulip
understood the Reproach, and in Return began to applaud the Wisdom of old amorous Gentlemen, who turned their Mistress's Imagination as far as possible from what they had long themselves forgot, and ended his Discourse with a sly Commendation of the Doctrine of
Platonick
Love; at the same time he ran over, with a laughing Eye,
Crastin's
thin Legs, meagre Looks, and spare Body. The old Gentleman immediately left the Room with some Disorder, and the Conversation fell upon untimely Passion, After-Love, and unseasonable Youth.
Tulip
sung, danced, moved before the Glass, led his Mistress half a Minuet, hummed
Celiathe Fair, in the bloom of Fifteen;
when there came a Servant with a Letter to him, which was as follows.
Sir, 'Iunderstand very well what you meant by your Mention ofPlatonickLove. I shall be glad to meet you immediately inHide-Park, or behindMontague-House, or attend you to Barn-Elms2, or any other fashionable Place that's fit for a Gentleman to die in, that you shall appoint for,Sir, Your most Humble Servant,Richard Crastin.
Tulip's
Colour changed at the reading of this Epistle; for which Reason his Mistress snatched it to read the Contents. While she was doing so
Tulip
went away, and the Ladies now agreeing in a Common Calamity, bewailed together the Danger of their Lovers. They immediately undressed to go out, and took Hackneys to prevent Mischief: but, after alarming all Parts of the Town,
Crastin
was found by his Widow in his Pumps at
Hide-Park
, which Appointment
Tulip
never kept, but made his Escape into the Country.
Flavia
tears her Hair for his inglorious Safety, curses and despises her Charmer, is fallen in Love with
Crastin
: Which is the first Part of the History of the
Rival Mother
.
R.
Footnote 1:
Rochester's
Imitations of Horace
, Sat. I. 10.
return to footnote mark
Footnote 2:
A famous duelling place under elm trees, in a meadow half surrounded by the Thames.
return
Contents
... Convivæ prope dissentire videntur,Poscentes vario multum diversa palato;Quid dem? Quid non dem?Hor.translation
Looking
over the late Packets of Letters which have been sent to me, I found the following one
1
.
Mr.Spectator,'Your Paper is a Part of my Tea-Equipage; and my Servant knows my Humour so well, that calling for my Breakfast this Morning (it being past my usual Hour) she answer'd, theSpectatorwas not yet come in; but that the Tea-Kettle boiled, and she expected it every Moment. Having thus in part signified to you the Esteem and Veneration which I have for you, I must put you in mind of the Catalogue of Books which you have promised to recommend to our Sex; for I have deferred furnishing my Closet with Authors, 'till I receive your Advice in this Particular, being your daily Disciple and humble Servant,Leonora.
In Answer to my fair Disciple, whom I am very proud of, I must acquaint her and the rest of my Readers, that since I have called out for Help in my Catalogue of a Lady's Library, I have received many Letters upon that Head, some of which I shall give an Account of.
In the first Class I shall take notice of those which come to me from eminent Booksellers, who every one of them mention with Respect the Authors they have printed, and consequently have an Eye to their own Advantage more than to that of the Ladies. One tells me, that he thinks it absolutely necessary for Women to have true Notions of Right and Equity, and that therefore they cannot peruse a better Book than
Dalton's Country Justice
: Another thinks they cannot be without
The Compleat Jockey
. A third observing the Curiosity and Desire of prying into Secrets, which he tells me is natural to the fair Sex, is of Opinion this female Inclination, if well directed, might turn very much to their Advantage, and therefore recommends to me
Mr
. Mede
upon the Revelations
. A fourth lays it down as an unquestioned Truth, that a Lady cannot be thoroughly accomplished who has not read
The Secret Treaties and Negotiations of Marshal
D'Estrades. Mr.
Jacob Tonson Jun.
is of Opinion, that
Bayle's Dictionary
might be of very great use to the Ladies, in order to make them general Scholars. Another whose Name I have forgotten, thinks it highly proper that every Woman with Child should read
Mr.
Wall's
History of Infant Baptism
: As another is very importunate with me to recommend to all my female Readers
The finishing Stroke: Being a Vindication of the Patriarchal Scheme
, &c.
In the second Class I shall mention Books which are recommended by Husbands, if I may believe the Writers of them. Whether or no they are real Husbands or personated ones I cannot tell, but the Books they recommend are as follow.
A Paraphrase on the History of
Susanna.
Rules to keep
Lent.
The Christian's Overthrow prevented. A Dissuasive from the Play-house. The Virtues of Camphire, with Directions to make Camphire Tea. The Pleasures of a Country Life. The Government of the Tongue
. A Letter dated from
Cheapside
desires me that I would advise all young Wives to make themselves Mistresses of
Wingate's Arithmetick
, and concludes with a Postscript, that he hopes I will not forget
The Countess of
Kent's
Receipts
.
I may reckon the Ladies themselves as a third Class among these my Correspondents and Privy-Counsellors. In a Letter from one of them, I am advised to place
Pharamond
at the Head of my Catalogue, and, if I think proper, to give the second place to
Cassandra
.
Coquetilla
begs me not to think of nailing Women upon their Knees with Manuals of Devotion, nor of scorching their Faces with Books of Housewifry.
Florella
desires to know if there are any Books written against Prudes, and intreats me, if there are, to give them a Place in my Library.
Plays
of all Sorts have their several Advocates:
All for Love
is mentioned in above fifteen Letters;
Sophonisba
, or
Hannibal's Overthrow
, in a Dozen;
The Innocent Adultery
is likewise highly approved of;
Mithridates King of Pontus
has many Friends;
Alexander the Great
and
Aurengzebe
have the same Number of Voices; but
Theodosius
, or
The Force of Love
. carries it from all the rest
2
.
I should, in the last Place, mention such Books as have been proposed by Men of Learning, and those who appear competent Judges of this Matter; and must here take Occasion to thank
A. B
. whoever it is that conceals himself under those two Letters, for his Advice upon this Subject: But as I find the Work I have undertaken to be very difficult, I shall defer the executing of it till I am further acquainted with the Thoughts of my judicious Contemporaries, and have time to examine the several Books they offer to me; being resolved, in an Affair of this Moment, to proceed with the greatest Caution.
In the mean while, as I have taken the Ladies under my particular Care, I shall make it my Business to find out in the best Authors ancient and modern such Passages as may be for their use, and endeavour to accommodate them as well as I can to their Taste; not questioning but the valuable Part of the Sex will easily pardon me, if from Time to Time I laugh at those little Vanities and Follies which appear in the Behaviour of some of them, and which are more proper for Ridicule than a serious Censure. Most Books being calculated for Male Readers, and generally written with an Eye to Men of Learning, makes a Work of this Nature the more necessary; besides, I am the more encouraged, because I flatter myself that I see the Sex daily improving by these my Speculations. My fair Readers are already deeper Scholars than the Beaus. I could name some of them who could talk much better than several Gentlemen that make a Figure at
Will's
; and as I frequently receive Letters from the
fine Ladies
and
pretty Fellows
, I cannot but observe that the former are superior to the others not only in the Sense but in the Spelling. This cannot but have a good Effect upon the Female World, and keep them from being charmed by those empty Coxcombs that have hitherto been admired among the Women, tho' laugh'd at among the Men.
I am credibly informed that
Tom Tattle
passes for an impertinent Fellow, that
Will Trippet
begins to be smoaked, and that
Frank Smoothly
himself is within a Month of a Coxcomb, in case I think fit to continue this Paper. For my part, as it is my Business in some measure to detect such as would lead astray weak Minds by their false Pretences to Wit and Judgment, Humour and Gallantry, I shall not fail to lend the best Lights I am able to the fair Sex for the Continuation of these their Discoveries.
Footnote 1:
By Mrs. Perry, whose sister, Miss Shepheard, has letters in two later numbers,
140
and
163
. These ladies were descended from Sir Fleetwood Shepheard.
return to footnote mark
Footnote 2:
Michael Dalton's
Country Justice
was first published in 1618. Joseph Mede's
Clavis Apocalyptica
, published in 1627, and translated by Richard More in 1643, was as popular in the Pulpit as
The Country Justice
on the Bench. The negotiations of Count d'Estrades were from 1637 to 1662. The translation of
Bayle's Dictionary
had been published by Tonson in 1610. Dr. William Wall's
History of Infant Baptism
, published in 1705, was in its third edition.
Aurungzebe
was by Dryden.
Mithridates
and
Theodosius
were by Lee.
return
Contents
... Spatio breviSpem longam reseces: dum loquimur, fugerit InvidaÆtas: carpe Diem, quam minimum credula postero.Hor.translation
We
all of us complain of the Shortness of Time, saith
Seneca
1
and yet have much more than we know what to do with. Our Lives, says he, are spent either in doing nothing at all, or in doing nothing to the Purpose, or in doing nothing that we ought to do: We are always complaining our Days are few, and acting as though there would be no End of them. That noble Philosopher has described our Inconsistency with our selves in this Particular, by all those various Turns of Expression and Thought which are peculiar to his Writings.
I often consider Mankind as wholly inconsistent with itself in a Point that bears some Affinity to the former. Though we seem grieved at the Shortness of Life in general, we are wishing every Period of it at an end. The Minor longs to be at Age, then to be a Man of Business, then to make up an Estate, then to arrive at Honours, then to retire. Thus although the whole of Life is allowed by every one to be short, the several Divisions of it appear long and tedious. We are for lengthening our Span in general, but would fain contract the Parts of which it is composed. The Usurer would be very well satisfied to have all the Time annihilated that lies between the present Moment and next Quarter-day. The Politician would be contented to lose three Years in his Life, could he place things in the Posture which he fancies they will stand in after such a Revolution of Time. The Lover would be glad to strike out of his Existence all the Moments that are to pass away before the happy Meeting. Thus, as fast as our Time runs, we should be very glad in most Parts of our Lives that it ran much faster than it does. Several Hours of the Day hang upon our Hands, nay we wish away whole Years: and travel through Time as through a Country filled with many wild and empty Wastes, which we would fain hurry over, that we may arrive at those several little Settlements or imaginary Points of Rest which are dispersed up and down in it.
If we divide the Life of most Men into twenty Parts, we shall find that at least nineteen of them are meer Gaps and Chasms, which are neither filled with Pleasure nor Business. I do not however include in this Calculation the Life of those Men who are in a perpetual Hurry of Affairs, but of those only who are not always engaged in Scenes of Action; and I hope I shall not do an unacceptable Piece of Service to these Persons, if I point out to them certain Methods for the filling up their empty Spaces of Life. The Methods I shall propose to them are as follow.
The first is the Exercise of Virtue, in the most general Acceptation of the Word. That particular Scheme which comprehends the Social Virtues, may give Employment to the most industrious Temper, and find a Man in Business more than the most active Station of Life. To advise the Ignorant, relieve the Needy, comfort the Afflicted, are Duties that fall in our way almost every Day of our Lives. A Man has frequent Opportunities of mitigating the Fierceness of a Party; of doing Justice to the Character of a deserving Man; of softning the Envious, quieting the Angry, and rectifying the Prejudiced; which are all of them Employments suited to a reasonable Nature, and bring great Satisfaction to the Person who can busy himself in them with Discretion.
There is another kind of Virtue that may find Employment for those Retired Hours in which we are altogether left to our selves, and destitute of Company and Conversation; I mean that Intercourse and Communication which every reasonable Creature ought to maintain with the great Author of his Being. The Man who lives under an habitual Sense of the Divine Presence keeps up a perpetual Chearfulness of Temper, and enjoys every Moment the Satisfaction of thinking himself in Company with his dearest and best of Friends. The Time never lies heavy upon him: It is impossible for him to be alone. His Thoughts and Passions are the most busied at such Hours when those of other Men are the most unactive: He no sooner steps out of the World but his Heart burns with Devotion, swells with Hope, and triumphs in the Consciousness of that Presence which every where surrounds him; or, on the contrary, pours out its Fears, its Sorrows, its Apprehensions, to the great Supporter of its Existence.
I have here only considered the Necessity of a Man's being Virtuous, that he may have something to do; but if we consider further, that the Exercise of Virtue is not only an Amusement for the time it lasts, but that its Influence extends to those Parts of our Existence which lie beyond the Grave, and that our whole Eternity is to take its Colour from those Hours which we here employ in Virtue or in Vice, the Argument redoubles upon us, for putting in Practice this Method of passing away our Time.
When a Man has but a little Stock to improve, and has opportunities of turning it all to good Account, what shall we think of him if he suffers nineteen Parts of it to lie dead, and perhaps employs even the twentieth to his Ruin or Disadvantage? But because the Mind cannot be always in its Fervours, nor strained up to a Pitch of Virtue, it is necessary to find out proper Employments for it in its Relaxations.
The next Method therefore that I would propose to fill up our Time, should be useful and innocent Diversions. I must confess I think it is below reasonable Creatures to be altogether conversant in such Diversions as are meerly innocent, and have nothing else to recommend them, but that there is no Hurt in them. Whether any kind of Gaming has even thus much to say for it self, I shall not determine; but I think it is very wonderful to see Persons of the best Sense passing away a dozen Hours together in shuffling and dividing a Pack of Cards, with no other Conversation but what is made up of a few Game Phrases, and no other Ideas but those of black or red Spots ranged together in different Figures. Would not a man laugh to hear any one of this Species complaining that Life is short.
The
Stage
might be made a perpetual Source of the most noble and useful Entertainments, were it under proper Regulations.
But the Mind never unbends itself so agreeably as in the Conversation of a well chosen Friend. There is indeed no Blessing of Life that is any way comparable to the Enjoyment of a discreet and virtuous Friend. It eases and unloads the Mind, clears and improves the Understanding, engenders Thoughts and Knowledge, animates Virtue and good Resolution, sooths and allays the Passions, and finds Employment for most of the vacant Hours of Life.
Next to such an Intimacy with a particular Person, one would endeavour after a more general Conversation with such as are able to entertain and improve those with whom they converse, which are Qualifications that seldom go asunder.
There are many other useful Amusements of Life, which one would endeavour to multiply, that one might on all Occasions have Recourse to something rather than suffer the mind to lie idle, or run adrift with any Passion that chances to rise in it.
A Man that has a Taste of Musick, Painting, or Architecture, is like one that has another Sense when compared with such as have no Relish of those Arts. The Florist, the Planter, the Gardiner, the Husbandman, when they are only as Accomplishments to the Man of Fortune, are great Reliefs to a Country Life, and many ways useful to those who are possessed of them.
But of all the Diversions of Life, there is none so proper to fill up its empty Spaces as the reading of useful and entertaining Authors. But this I shall only touch upon, because it in some Measure interferes with the third Method, which I shall propose in another Paper, for the Employment of our dead unactive Hours, and which I shall only mention in general to be the Pursuit of Knowledge.
Footnote 1:
Epist. 49
, and in his
De Brevitate Vita
.
return to footnote mark
Contents
... Hoc estVivere bis, vita posse priore frui.Mart.translation
The last Method which I proposed in my
Saturday's Paper
, for filling up those empty Spaces of Life which are so tedious and burdensome to idle People, is the employing ourselves in the Pursuit of Knowledge.
I
remember
Mr. Boyle
1
speaking of a certain Mineral, tells us, That a Man may consume his whole Life in the Study of it, without arriving at the Knowledge of all its Qualities. The Truth of it is, there is not a single Science, or any Branch of it, that might not furnish a Man with Business for Life, though it were much longer than it is.
I shall not here engage on those beaten Subjects of the Usefulness of Knowledge, nor of the Pleasure and Perfection it gives the Mind, nor on the Methods of attaining it, nor recommend any particular Branch of it, all which have been the Topicks of many other Writers; but shall indulge my self in a Speculation that is more uncommon, and may therefore perhaps be more entertaining.
I have before shewn how the unemployed Parts of Life appear long and tedious, and shall here endeavour to shew how those Parts of Life which are exercised in Study, Reading, and the Pursuits of Knowledge, are long but not tedious, and by that means discover a Method of lengthening our Lives, and at the same time of turning all the Parts of them to our Advantage.
Mr
.
Lock
observes
2
,
'That we get the Idea of Time, or Duration, by reflecting on that Train of Ideas which succeed one another in our Minds: That for this Reason, when we sleep soundly without dreaming, we have no Perception of Time, or the Length of it whilst we sleep; and that the Moment wherein we leave off to think, till the Moment we begin to think again, seems to have no distance.'
To which the Author adds,
'And so I doubt not but it would be to a waking Man, if it were possible for him to keep only oneIdeain his Mind, without Variation, and the Succession of others: And we see, that one who fixes his Thoughts very intently on one thing, so as to take but little notice of the Succession ofIdeasthat pass in his Mind whilst he is taken up with that earnest Contemplation, lets slip out of his Account a good Part of that Duration, and thinks that Time shorter than it is.'
We might carry this Thought further, and consider a Man as, on one Side, shortening his Time by thinking on nothing, or but a few things; so, on the other, as lengthening it, by employing his Thoughts on many Subjects, or by entertaining a quick and constant Succession of Ideas.
Accordingly
Monsieur
Mallebranche
, in his
Enquiry after Truth
3
, (which was published several Years before Mr.
Lock's Essay on Human Understanding
) tells us, That it is possible some Creatures may think Half an Hour as long as we do a thousand Years; or look upon that Space of Duration which we call a Minute, as an Hour, a Week, a Month, or an whole Age.
This Notion of Monsieur
Mallebranche
is capable of some little Explanation from what I have quoted out of Mr.
Lock
; for if our Notion of Time is produced by our reflecting on the Succession of Ideas in our Mind, and this Succession may be infinitely accelerated or retarded, it will follow, that different Beings may have different Notions of the same Parts of Duration, according as their Ideas, which we suppose are equally distinct in each of them, follow one another in a greater or less Degree of Rapidity.