Aleck's love for the sea was an absorbing passion; and it quite amused me to hear all the questions he kept putting to old George—as, for instance, how old he was when he went to sea; how long before he went up the mast; how they reefed the top-sails in his vessel, and which of the ship's company did it in a gale; together with many other inquiries, showing a degree of technical knowledge that perfectly overwhelmed me, and which, he explained to us, was extracted from "The Cadet's Manual," and a big book on "The Art of Navigation" which they had at home.
I almost wished my cousin did not know quite so much; it made me feel as though the ten months were a longer and more important period than I had admitted to myself. But it was a relief, when the oars were called into action on our way in, to find that he could not row, whereas I had handled an oar almost as soon as I gave up a rattle; and, as I showed off my best feathering, I felt we were equal again.
"How is it you can't row, sir, when you know so much about it?" asked Groves.
"Why, there are only streams and the river at my home in Scotland," explained Aleck. "We're up amongst the hills, you know. I have often fished, but I've scarcely ever been in a boat before, except when we've been travelling; and then it was going out to the steamer, and I mightn't do anything but sit still. It was famous, though, in the steamer," continued Aleck, kindling with the recollection of his journey. "I went down, and saw how the engine worked; and helped the man at the wheel; and learned about the compass—at least, I knew the points before, but it was different seeing how to steer by it. Only I liked the stoker the best. I had just gone down again with him to the engine-room, to see the engine stopped, and pulled off my jacket because it was so hot; and then the steam was let off, and made such a noise! Just when there was all the noise of the steam, I heard somebody shouting my name, and calling so loudly to me that I ran up to the deck at once. I had quite forgotten about not having my jacket on, and I believe my face had got blacked—it was, I know, when we got on shore. Everybody laughed at me; only mamma was poorly and frightened—she thought I had tumbled overboard. I suppose I oughtn't to have gone down just then, for that was the place where we were to go on shore," Aleck added, somewhat thoughtfully, remembering how very white was the face to which his own blackened one had been pressed.
By this time we were re-entering the Cove.
"You'll only be just in time for your dinner, young gentlemen," said George, as we drew in towards the landing-place; "I reckon it won't come a minute before you're ready for it."
"You'll teach me to row, will you not, as soon as possible?" said my cousin, as we parted. "I should like to begin at once, please."
"So soon as you like, sir. Master Willie, you mustn't be long in bringing down your cousin."
Thus saying, Groves took his way to the lodge, and Aleck and I clambered quickly up the Zig-zag, reaching home in time to appear, with smooth hair, and rosy cheeks, and keen appetites, at the luncheon-table.
Aleck was in wild spirits, and confided to me that he didn't think he had ever enjoyed himself so much before.
A month after Aleck's arrival at Braycombe, it seemed so perfectly natural to have him with us—he had fitted so completely into the position of companion, play-fellow, school-fellow, brother—that I could scarcely fancy how it felt before he came.
My uncle and aunt had left us after a fortnight's visit, and were now on the Continent. The parting was hard work—harder, I fancy, to them than to him, for boys soon get over trouble, whereas it was plain to see in my aunt's wistful eyes that it was a sore trial to her to leave her child behind. I believe that she did not anticipate, in as sanguine a spirit as did her husband, the happy meeting again that was talked of for the spring, after a winter in Madeira.
It was a subject of great thankfulness, to both my uncle and aunt, that Aleck and I had formed such a friendship for each other. They had scarcely driven from the door, and Aleck's eyes were still wet with tears, when he told me that he did not think he could be so happy anywhere away from his papa and mamma as at Braycombe, with me for his companion; and I answered by assuring him I should never be happy again if he were to go away from me.
We soon settled down into our school-room occupations together. Mr. Glengelly, who used to come three times in the week, now came daily, staying for the whole morning, and leaving us always lessons to prepare for the next day. Aleck and I spent almost the whole of our play-time down at the Cove; his passionate enjoyment of everything connected with the sea continuing in full force, whilst two or three times every week we had walks, rides, or drives with one or both of my parents.
Aleck could ride beautifully, having been accustomed to it at his own home, and I was delighted to lend him my pony from time to time—more ready at first, if the truth is to be told, than afterwards. He also learned to row, though not so quickly nor so easily as I should have expected; and feathering remained an impossible mystery to him, being, as he said, more than could be expected from his clumsy fingers.
In this one point—that of being unskilful in the use of his hands—Aleck was below the mark; in lessons he was far my superior, being, as I soon found, more than his year ahead of me. But, oddly enough, as it seemed to me, it was always in matters requiring skilled fingers that he was anxious to excel. He was never tired of playing at sailing the "Fair Alice," but would daily, before we launched her, examine afresh all the different parts of the little vessel, and sigh over the neatness of their workmanship, and ask himself and myself whether it were possible he should ever be able to make a ship like it. Various abortive attempts were to be seen in our play-room—pieces of wood cut, and shaped, and thrown away in disgust; but as yet he made no progress towards anything like skill in carpentry. The old play-boat of mine which I had given, to him afforded very little pleasure: it was not like a real vessel. Having seen the "Fair Alice," anything that fell short of it gave him no satisfaction. It added greatly to the pleasure which I had always felt in this possession, to see how ardently my cousin admired it, and how much he thought of the title ofcaptain, which, as owner, had been playfully adjudged to me.
I scarcely know when it was that the feeling first began to steal over me that I was not always quite so glad as I had been at first that my cousin was living with us. It was an unworthy feeling, and I felt ashamed to confess it to myself; but there it was, and I discovered it at last.
Perhaps it was because of his quickness at lessons; perhaps because, from time to time in his turn, enjoyments which could not be shared by both were permitted to him—I had only the half, where before I should have had the whole; perhaps it was all this together, combined with the secret evils I had not hitherto found out in my own heart and disposition; but the result was, that I had now and then such miserable moments of being angry, and provoked, and unhappy, not because my cousin had done anything unkind, but simply because he had, in some unintentional manner, interfered with my pleasure, that I was ready to wish I had never had a cousin, or that he had never come to Braycombe.
It is not to be supposed that this was my settled, constant state of mind. Far from it. In general, we two boys were as frisky, and merry, and happy with each other, as boys could be; but these dark feelings came and went, and came and went, until I began to be less surprised at them than when I first found them out. For some time my mother had no idea of their existence. To all outward appearance we were just as we had been in the early days of our friendship; and if I did not so often enlarge upon the happiness of having Aleck to live with me, I know now that she only put it down to the novelty of the companionship wearing off. I remember quite distinctly the first time that she noticed some little indication of the secret mischief that was going on. It was the time of afternoon preparation of lessons for the following morning, and I was sitting with my books before me at the school-room table, writing a Latin exercise; or perhaps it would be more correct to say,notwriting my Latin exercise, for my pen had stopped half-way to the ink-bottle, and my chin was resting on my left hand and my elbow on the table, and I was indulging uninterruptedly in my own reflections, when the door opened, and my mother entered the room.
"Where's Aleck?" was her first inquiry, as she looked round and saw that I was alone.
"He's been gone five minutes," I replied, without raising my eyes, and in a tone which I meant to convey—and, I am aware, did convey—that I was in no pleasant mood.
"How's that?" rejoined my mother, taking no notice of my manner. "Aleck was told not to leave the school-room until his lessons were finished. He knows my rule, and is not generally disobedient. I must go and see about him. Where is he?"
"In his room, I suppose"—still in my former sulky manner; and, without further words, my mother left the room, and went in search of my cousin. I presently heard her voice calling to him at the foot of the stair-case leading to our rooms, and Aleck's voice more distantly replying to her. As, however, he did not immediately appear, I heard afterwards that she had gone up-stairs, and found him pulling down his sleeves and shaking off pieces of wood, and generally endeavouring to render his appearance respectable; which was made the more difficult as, in the course of his operations, he had dipped his elbow in the glue-pot, and was considerably embarrassed by the fringe of shavings which he was unable to detach.
"I'm coming as fast as I can, auntie," he said, pulling at the shavings, and giving himself a rub with a duster in hopes that would make him right.
"But, Aleck, how is it you're not in the school-room?" said my mother. "I have just seen Willie there alone. You know the rule about not leaving until lessons are finished. I fear that you have been tempted away too soon by your ship-building tastes."
"Did not Willie tell you I had finished my lessons?" said Aleck, quickly. "Oh, auntie, I would not have left before."
"Really finished, Aleck? Take care to be quite honest with yourself, for indeed you've had but short time."
"Really and truly, auntie. I tried to be very quick to-day, because I do so want to get on with this last ship I've begun. It seems coming more like than the others. See, the stern is very like a real one."
My mother carefully inspected the unshapely block upon which my cousin was at work, gave him a word or two of advice upon the subject, and came down-stairs again to me; having decided in her own mind, as she afterwards told me, to be present the next morning when Mr. Glengelly came, and notice whether Aleck's work had been thoroughly prepared.
"How soon shall you have finished, my child?" she said, laying her hand softly on my shoulder, and bending down to inspect my writing. "Let me see what there is to be done."
"This exercise, and the verb to be learned, and my sum"—very grumpily.
"And how much have you done already?"
"Part of the exercise—not quite half; and I'm doing the verb now; and the sum is finished, all but the proving."
My lip was quivering as I completed the list of what I had achieved, and I was as nearly bursting into tears as possible.
My mother's loving, pleasant way staved off the sulky fit, however.
"These lessons begun, and not one of them finished off!" she exclaimed. "Let us see how long they will take you. First the exercise, we will allow a quarter of an hour for that; five minutes will prove your sum; and the verb, an old one you say and very nearly perfect, two minutes for that: less than twenty-five minutes, Willie, and you will be so perfectly prepared that you will be longing for ten o'clock to-morrow, and Mr. Glengelly to come, all the rest of the evening."
I could not help laughing at the notion of my pining for Mr. Glengelly's arrival, and a laugh is an excellent stepping-stone out of the sulks. My mother put her watch on the table, and stayed in the room, helping me by quiet sympathizing superintendence, and I set to work with such earnestness that I had completed my tasks in twenty minutes, and was off to the play-room without a trace of my wrong temper, as eager to join my cousin in the carpentry as if nothing had gone wrong between us, and only rejoicing that my lessons were over at last, without troubling myself to remember that the trial of Aleck's being so much quicker than myself at his studies was sure to recur again and again, and that, unless my dislike to his superiority could be conquered and stamped out, I should soon find every-day trouble in my every-day work.
And in truth the conquering and stamping out of such feelings as these is no easy task. It is unquestionably a real trial to find that work which takes you an hour's hard labour can be accomplished by your companion in not much more than half the time; that even though the lessons are apportioned so as to give him the heavier burden, he can always dispose of the heavier more readily than you can of the lighter. In my own case, Aleck was often very good-natured, and would linger inhiswork to give me a help inmine; or purposely keep pace with me, so that we might go out to play together. But this was not always the way; when he was very eagerly engaged in any play-time occupation, he would bend all his energies to getting his tasks finished off quickly, and then hurry away, without appearing in the least troubled that I could not accompany him. Upon which occasions I thought him selfish and unfeeling, and was inclined not a little to regret that he had ever come to Braycombe.
The worst of it was, that though I knew I was wrong, I could not muster courage to speak to either of my parents about it; no, not even in that moment of deepest confidence when my mother looked in to wish me good-night before I went to sleep, and sat, as she was wont to do, upon my bed talking to me about the various things which had happened during the day.
Many a time, on such occasions, I thought of telling her my troubles, but was afraid lest she should think me very naughty; so I tried at last to persuade myself there was not much to tell after all.
Half an hour spent with us in the school-room the next morning convinced my mother that Aleck's work had been well done. I fancy that she watched me a little closely for a few days, but I happened to be specially prosperous in my lessons, and nothing occurred to disturb my serenity, so that she dismissed after a time the anxiety which had begun to arise in her mind concerning me.
As for Aleck, he had no notion of the real state of things. I am sure he must have thought me selfish and cross very often, but almost as often he would win me into good temper again; and his own temperament was naturally so bright and sunshiny, that trouble never seemed to remain long with him.
It was about a fortnight later that I was sitting, after breakfast, in my father's study doing my arithmetic. Our school-room adjoined the study, and it was not an unfrequent arrangement, that whilst Aleck did his construing with Mr. Glengelly, I should take in my slate to my father's room and do my sums. I fancy he liked to have me with him; for whenever he was at home he would look up with quite a pleased expression when, after knocking at the door, I appeared with my slate and made the usual inquiry whether I should disturb him if I came in just then; and would tell me that I never disturbed him, and bid me show him my sum before I returned to the school-room, when he had always some pleasant remark to make upon it.
I then was sitting on my favourite seat in the window working at compound division, when my mother came into the room.
"I've been thinking," she said to my father, "that it's a pity both the boys should not go with you to Stavemoor: if you could manage without Rickson, or let him ride one of the carriage horses, I think you might trust Aleck on the gray."
I listened to every word, my pencil going slowly and more slowly, whilst I put down three times nine, twenty-seven—two, carry seven; and was hopelessly wrong afterwards in consequence. This ride to Stavemoor was a special pleasure in prospect. Both Aleck and I had wanted to go; but the pony being mine, I had taken it as a matter of course that I should be the one chosen, and my cousin had not thought of questioning my rights. But now to hear my mother quietly proposing, not only that Aleck should go, but that he should ride the gray—it was a sore trial to my feelings: that gray had for months been the object of my ambition, but I had not been thought a good enough rider to be trusted, and now that my cousin should be thus promoted was hard to bear.
The colour mounted to my face when I heard the proposition, and then my father's answer:—
"I am not sure about it; and yet the boy is at home in the saddle, and has a firm seat. I'll speak to Rickson. Aleck's been looking pale of late, and I think more rides than he can get when there's only the pony between the two boys, would do him good."
"Papa," I said, with quivering lip and reproachful voice, "you've never letmeride the gray. It's always Aleck now—he gets everything, it doesn't seem to matter about me."
My father gave one quick glance of surprise and consternation at my mother, and then turned to me:—
"Willie! my own little Willie!" he said, pausing as if for an explanation, and putting out his hand in a manner that meant I was to come to his side, which I did rather slowly.
"I've so often asked you to let me ride the gray, papa, and you've never allowed it, and now you're going to let Aleck. I don't want to go to Stavemoor—Aleck may have the pony; I wish I had said so at first; I don't want to ride the pony, and have him on the gray." And thereupon, almost frightened by the evident distress my sentiments had occasioned, I burst into a passionate fit of crying, which permitted only a few more broken words to the effect that I wished Aleck had never come to Braycombe; I hated his being there; and that my parents were very unkind to care for him more than they did for me.
My father held me there at his side whilst I sobbed and cried as if some tremendous calamity had overtaken me. I knew without looking up, which I was ashamed to do, that his eyes were resting upon me with an expression of sad surprise; and the silence became perfectly unbearable. He spoke at last:—
"My poor little Willie," he said, "what sad feelings you have allowed to creep into your heart! how unhappy they will make you! You have said very wrong words, my child, and I cannot tell you how much pain you have caused to me and your mamma. I hope that you will be very sorry by-and-by; but you know, Willie, being sorry will not undo your fault, nor take away the envious feelings which you have allowed to spring up within you; and unless such feelings as these are conquered you will be an unhappy little boy, and grow up to be an unhappy man. Willie," he added, after another pause only interrupted by my struggling sobs at longer intervals than at first, "you know, my child, whose strength you will need to help you in the battle: you are but a weak little boy, and cannot help yourself; you must pray for the help of God's Holy Spirit, or else you will never conquer these wrong feelings."
I hung my head, and remained silent.
"I trust Aleck knows nothing of all this," resumed my father. "We have promised to care for him as though he belonged to us. I will not allow him to feel that he is disliked by the boy who promised to love him."
"No, papa," I put in, for my temper had well-nigh expended itself; "I do like him still—rather—only not always. I like him very much sometimes: I think now I'm very glad he came—only I don't like his having things that I mayn't have."
"That, Willie," answered my father, "must be left to me to decide. I shall miss my little boy very much this afternoon; but I cannot allow you to come to Stavemoor with me to-day, after all that has passed."
There was just this ray of comfort in the announcement, that at least Aleck would not on this particular occasion gain the object of my ambition.
"Is Aleck to ride my pony, then?" I inquired, half ashamed of myself for asking.
The quick, decided manner, in which my father withdrew the arm he held around me, and answered,—
"Certainly not, unless I find Rickson thinks the gray would be unsafe," made me feel more unhappy than ever; and it was with a sorrowful heart that I obeyed a summons to the school-room brought in at that moment by my cousin, and showed up my incorrect and unfinished sum to Mr. Glengelly.
I suppose that he saw something had gone wrong with me, by my appearance; he was certainly more merciful than usual over my shortcomings in arithmetic, and the lesson-time went by so pleasantly that I was quite in good humour by the time it ended, and went out in restored spirits for the half hour's exercise which preceded our dinner, determining that, the first moment I could see my father, I would tell him I was sorry, revoke what I had said about Aleck, and ride my pony to Stavemoor.
In furtherance of these views, I ran round by the stables, and finding that only Peter the Great and the gray had been ordered, told Rickson in confidence that I had said to my father in the morning I would rather not ride; but, having changed my mind since then, he was to be sure and be ready to send round the pony as well.
Aleck, in the meantime, heard of the treat in store for him, and was greatly elated, chattering briskly during dinner about the expedition, without any idea that I was likely to be left behind.
My father was not a great luncheon eater, and when very busy, would often only have a glass of wine and a biscuit sent into the study, instead of joining us at table. Finding this was to be the case on the present occasion, I asked leave to carry in the tray, and was permitted to do so after I had finished my own dinner.
My father was at his writing, and looked up when he saw me, making a place amongst his papers at the same time for the tray.
"Papa," I said, when I had put it down, "I'm sorry for what I said this morning. I don't mind Aleck's riding the gray; and please I should like to ride my own pony. I saw Rickson before dinner, and told him I had changed my mind, and that very likely the pony would be wanted."
My father answered, in a quiet, grave voice: "You might have spared yourself the trouble, Willie, of speaking to Rickson, for, though I'm sorry to leave you behind, I cannot allow you the pleasure of the ride to Stavemoor this afternoon."
"But, papa," I pleaded, "you always forgive me when I say I am sorry."
"And I do not say now that I will notforgivethe wrong things you said this morning," he answered; "but I cannot let your conduct pass without punishment. You must remember, my child," he added, drawing me towards him, "thatforgivingandnot punishingare very different things. Do you remember when God forgave David his sin, yet He punished him by the death of his son. And it would be contrary to His commands if Christian parents were to allow their children's faults to beunpunished, although it is a Christian duty to exercise aforgiving spirit."
The practical result of this statement was what I thought of most; it was clear to my mind that the ride to Stavemoor had to be given up, and my brow grew cloudy.
"Then, papa," I said, poutingly, "I mayn't go with you this afternoon?"
"Certainly not, Willie," very decidedly; "you will spend one hour, from the time we start, in your own room; and I trust that you will remember during that time—if you arereally sorry—that mine is not the only forgiveness you have to seek."
"Aleck's, papa?"
"No, not Aleck's; I hope he will never have an idea of all the wrong feelings you have entertained towards him."
"You mean God's forgiveness," I said, more seriously; for that was a name never to be pronounced without deep reverence.
"Yes, Willie; don't forget, my child, that the youngest as well as the oldest of us has need to seek the Fountain opened for all uncleanness. No repentance will wash us clean. You must ask, through the Lord Jesus, not only that your sins may be forgiven, but that you may also have strength to do better for the future. You may go now. Remember what I said about the hour in your own room."
I departed accordingly, passing Aleck in the passage all ready and equipped for his ride. Brushing past him, without giving an answer to his inquiry whether I was going to get ready, I ran quickly up-stairs to my own room, shut the door, and burst into tears.
By-and-by I heard the horses coming round; then I wiped my eyes, and kneeling upon a chair at the window, where I could not be seen, watched all the proceedings.
Rickson, faithful to my interests, had, I perceived, brought up the pony ready saddled. I almost hoped that Aleck would have had it after all. But no; I saw him in another moment mounted upon the gray, which, apparently conscious of a lighter weight than usual, began shaking its head, and showing off its mettle. Rickson held it firmly. "So-ho! so-ho!" I heard him saying. "Ease her a bit, Master Gordon; ease her mouth; there—there—so-ho!"
Aleck held the reins firmly, and his ringing voice came up cheerily through the air.
"I'm not a bit afraid, thank you, Uncle Grant."
My father in the meantime mounted Peter the Great; and before starting I saw the stable-boy give him a leading rein, which he put into his pocket, for future use I mentally decided, in case Aleck should have difficulty in managing the gray. But no such difficulty occurred within the range of my observation. When Rickson removed his hand from the bridle she bounded off rather friskily; but in another moment Aleck had reined her in, and was displaying such ready ease in the management of his steed, that it was clear my father's confidence in his horsemanship was justified.
As I turned round from the window I heard my mother's soft footstep in the passage, and in another moment she had entered my room. She had her walking things on, and a little basket in her hand, well known to me as invariably containing jellies, puddings, or packets of tea for some of the many invalids to whom my mother was as an angel of mercy. She stopped only for two or three minutes, to tell me how thankful she was to know I had felt sorry for my behaviour in the morning, and how grieved to have to leave me at home when she would have liked me to have been out riding with my father, or walking with her; and then, after some further words of monition, she left me to my solitary hour's watch, and I could see her taking her way down the drive, and turning off through the wood, until the last flutter of her blue ribbons was lost in the distance. Then I bethought me of seeing how much longer I had to spend in my own room, and, looking at the clock-tower over the stables, found it was scarcely more than three o'clock. I could not feel free until a quarter to four, and the time began to feel very long and wearisome.
In general, I was a boy of manifold resources, and every moment of my leisure time seemed too short for the many purposes to which I would willingly have applied it. But on this particular afternoon I seemed to weary of everything. Even my last new book of fairy stories failed to interest me. I felt as if, instead of fancying myself the hero of the tale, I was perpetually being compared, by my own conscience, to the unamiable characters—Cinderella's sisters, for instance, or the elder of the two princes who lived in a country long ago and nowhere in particular; elder brothers being in fairy tales, as all true connoisseurs are aware, jealous, cruel, and sure to come to a bad end; whilst the younger brothers are persecuted, forgiving, and finally triumphant, marrying disenchanted princesses, and living happy ever after. I threw aside my fairy book, and sought for some other means of amusement in a repository of odds and ends, established in a corner of the room by the housemaid, whose efforts to observe order in disorder were most praiseworthy. There I was glad to discover a piece of willow-bough stripped of its twigs, and in course of preparation for the manufacture of a bow. Immediately I set myself to adjusting a piece of string to it, and completing its construction. This occupation was far more engrossing than the reading had proved; and almost sooner than I had expected, the three-quarters chime of the clock proclaimed my liberation. I seized my garden hat, ran down-stairs, and sped out upon the lawn, determined to feel very merry, and to enjoy trying my newly-made bow as much as possible. It was annoying that Frisk had gone with the horses—it made me feel more lonely not to have him to play with; but still, my hour's imprisonment being over, I thought I could find plenty of amusement. So I began firing away certain home-made arrows, to which my mother's loving fingers had carefully fastened feathers; putting up a flower-pot on a stand as a mark, and trying to hit it. But the arrows did not go very far after all, and I leant down upon the bow and tightened the string, and then tightened it again, until there was a sudden snap, and a collapse—it had broken in two pieces! I threw the bow aside in disgust, and went off into the shrubbery, and then down the carriage drive, hoping to meet my mother; but she happened to be detained that afternoon at one of the cottages where she was visiting, and missed her usual time for returning. Feeling very dreary and disconsolate, I finally wandered back again into the house, and hung about in the different rooms in a listless, dissatisfied mood, until, at about half past five, I could hear the rapid tread of horses' feet, and in another moment my father and Aleck cantered up to the door. Frisk was flourishing about in his usual style, and found me out in a moment, jumping up upon my shoulders, and licking my hands, and expressing in perfectly comprehensible language his regret that I had not been of the party, and his pleasure in seeing me again.
Aleck was in a high state of spirits, triumphant at having proved himself sufficient of a horseman to manage the gray, and delighted with all the incidents of the expedition. He did not know the reason of my having stayed at home; but told me how sorry he was I had not been with them, and tumultuously recounted the various pleasures he had enjoyed.
"See, I've got lots of shells," he said, "and several beautiful madrepores. You must have some of them. They'd had a wedding, too, and we had to eat some of the bride-cake, and drink their health, and—"
But Aleck's enumeration did not proceed further, for I think my father perceived how keenly I was feeling the contrast between his joyous excitement and my own very dreary heaviness of heart, and called to me to come to the study with him, and put away his riding whip. So I gladly turned away from my cousin, and followed my father to his room.
To some children, the study, library, or whatever other room is consecrated to the use of the head of the family, is a sort of dreadful and solemn place, generally closed to them, but opening from time to time as a court of justice, to which they are brought when their misdemeanours have exceeded usual bounds, and are considered to require severer measures than are within the province of the lesser authorities. Very alarming, in consequence, is the summons when it comes.
With me, however, the case was happily very different; the study was associated with countless hours of happy intercourse with a father whose very countenance was beaming with love. Times of reproof and punishment there had been also, but the returning happiness of forgiveness, the loving words of advice, the kind and constant sympathy, I never failed to find from him, made me look upon an invitation to his room as the best thing that could happen to me, whether I was happy or in trouble.
"My poor little Willie," he said, sitting down almost immediately, and drawing me towards himself; "have you been very sorrowful?"
I hid my face on his shoulder, and sobbed out that I was quite miserable.
"Have you thought what it is that has made your day so sad, Willie?" he asked, kindly.
"Yes, papa," I answered between my sobs; "I wasn't allowed to go to Stavemoor, and I was so unhappy in my own room all alone, and—and—I broke my bow just after I had finished making it—"
"But the beginning of all this unhappiness, Willie—quite the beginning?"
"Aleck's having the gray, papa," I said. "I think that was quite the beginning."
"So do I think so, my child," rejoined my father; "or rather, the wrong feelings to which this gave rise. And now consider, Willie, how wrong and ungrateful you have been, to let this grow up into such a trouble. Just think of all to-day's mercies: your home, your loving papa and mamma, all the comforts that so many little boys are without; and then, besides all these, a pleasant excursion planned to give you special pleasure on your half holiday. And, in the midst of all these blessings, instead of being thankful and happy, you are suddenly overwhelmed, as though by a great misfortune; not because any of your enjoyments are to be diminished, but because another is to have a pleasure which you think greater."
My father paused for a moment, and I could not help feeling that, according to his way of putting it, I certainly had been both naughty and foolish: still, it occurred to me that being happy was not in itself possible at all times; and that, similarly, if I were unhappy, I was unhappy, not by choice, but because it was not in my power to feel otherwise. I thought this, not indeed in words, or in any semblance of coherent argument, but in a sort of confused perplexity, which was only partly represented by my reply to my father:—
"Papa, I couldn't help feeling unhappy when I heard you talking about Aleck's going. I couldn't make myself feel happy."
"Ah, Willie, you've come to the root of the matter now," he answered;—"'couldn't make myselffeel happy!' That is just it, Willie; a wrong feeling of envy came into your heart—you know it was a wrong feeling that feeling of dislike that another should be happy, so I need not waste time in proving it to you; and you could not chase the enemy from your own heart, so, without ever remembering that there is One who promises to help all who cry to Him for help, and who is stronger than the strong man armed, you give in at once to the enemy; and as you couldn't help yourself, came out of the battle conquered and vanquished."
I hung my head down, feeling I had been a coward. "I'm so sorry, papa," I whispered.
"I thought you would be ere long, my child," he said. "I hope you used the time in your room partly as I intended."
I knew I hadn't, and felt still more ashamed of myself, but said nothing; I was never required to mention whether I had followed my parents' advice on such occasions, they were so fearful of making me a hypocrite.
"Our heavenly Father will have forgiven you all your fault, if you have sought forgiveness through Jesus Christ; and now your earthly father is quite ready to forgive also, as you seem really sorry."
My father gave me a kiss, and I threw my arms around his neck, and felt the loneliness and sadness of the day all over. My mother came in a few moments later, and joined us in the study, and with her loving, gentle words, completed my happiness in being forgiven and received back again into my usual position.
She did not forget all that had passed, however. I found that out at our Bible readings; for almost the very next day she took for her subject with us boys, the sin of envy and its consequences, and the best means of conquering it. I can remember to this hour the different illustrations—Cain, and Saul, and the blood-thirsty Pharisees on the one side; and Moses, and David, and Jonathan, and Paul, on the other; and the verses we found out in Proverbs and in the Epistles: they perhaps did me some good at the time, but my heart was not really touched. I had not found out, in my own little personal experience, what my father meant by theFountain opened for all uncleanness, and there were bitter but necessary lessons still in store for me.
My story would grow too long were I to tell of all the employments, amusements, and adventures, which made the months fly rapidly by with us boys that summer and autumn long ago at Braycombe.
My cousin's companionship made me more than usually diligent in my studies, and more than usually eager in my amusements; whilst the watchful care of my parents seemed to screen me from many of the minor trials and temptations which might otherwise have rendered me less happy than I had been in former days.
I can remember now with admiration, how carefully they measured out even-handed justice to my cousin and myself. They never seemed to forget that they had promised Aleck should be as my brother, therefore every arrangement took us equally into account. And although the meanness of envy was held by them to be not only sinful, but contemptible, they were quite alive to the keen sense of justice which is born with most children, and would never violate it by the exercise of a partiality too common amongst those who have the charge of the young, either with the object of giving me as their child some special pleasure, or Aleck as our visitor some special indulgence.
It was not long after the Stavemoor expedition that I was allowed to try my horsemanship by mounting the gray. Rickson was on the alert; but had it not been for his interposition, my equestrian pursuits would have come to a very disastrous ending. I was convinced against my will of the wisdom of my father's decision, that I should for the present be content with my pony; relying, for consolation, on his promise that, before very long, I should learn to manage the more spirited animal. In the meantime I no longer felt it a trouble that my cousin's superior skill in this respect should be recognized.
Aleck seemed to care less about the riding than I did. His passion for the sea—for boats, sea-weeds, stones, caves, and cliffs, everything directly and indirectly belonging to the sea—grew and strengthened upon him. His special ambition was to succeed in constructing a rival to the "Fair Alice;" but although honourable scars on his fingers bore witness to the industry with which he plied his tools, his attempts at ship-building had hitherto proved signal failures. I was more successful in my carpentry than he was, and it was quite a pleasure to me to give him all the help I could. Between us we at last produced something more resembling a ship than all former attempts, and we rushed eagerly down to the Cove one bright September afternoon, impatient for the launch.
Aleck and I had the Cove all to ourselves: old George had not been with us so much as usual for weeks past; there were, indeed, few days we did not see him, but he did not stay with us all through our play-time; he would come and go, and come and go, until we boys would take to teasing him with questions as to what it could be that kept him so much occupied. I had my own private suspicions, and communicated them to Aleck; but old George would throw no light upon the subject.
I had good reason for remembering that the 20th of September, now drawing near, was my parents' wedding-day, my mother's birth-day, and almost the greatest festival in the year to us at Braycombe. Old George, who lay in wait for opportunities of giving me presents, always looked upon this anniversary as one that would admit of no questioning, and more than once the offering to me—by which he meant to show his love to my parents—had been the result of many a long hour's secret work. The "Fair Alice" had been my present on the preceding year, and I had dim suspicions—built upon a certain hasty glance into a little room called the work-shop at the back of the lodge—that something else was even now in course of construction, which I half suspected to be a schooner-yacht with two masts, such as I had more than once expressed a wish to possess. But George was impenetrable, and kept the work-shop closely bolted, so I had to nurse my curiosity until the 20th. It was the day before this great occasion that Aleck and I ran down to launch our boat, as before-mentioned.
Alas! we had scarcely pushed it out upon the water, when, with a roll and lurch, it turned over upon its side, and floated like a wreck, in a helpless and melancholy manner. We drew it up on shore again and set to work; I cheerily and hopefully, feeling perfectly aware that everything that was at all good in the workmanship was mine; Aleck mournfully, knowing that all the faults in its construction were his.
"I wonder at Groves not coming," he said, presently; "I can't help thinking he could tell me how to make it float straight."
"I'll just go and make him come," I replied; "he's been so little with us the last few days, I'm sure he might find time."
Aleck agreed, and I set off to the lodge, leaving him to puzzle on by himself over the manifold difficulties of ship-building. To bring old George to the rescue, however, did not turn out the easy task that I had anticipated. He was in the work-shop, the door safely bolted, and not even the smallest aperture anywhere, through which I might discover the nature of his employment. My persuasions were all carried on at a disadvantage, and the conversation resolved itself into:—
"Please, George,docome and help us; it's very important. Aleck wants you particularly down at the Cove." This from my side of the door.
Then from his side:—"I'm afraid, Master Willie, I can't possibly find the time; I'm very busy."
From my side:—"But Aleck's boat won't sail, and we've tried everything to make it, and unless you come we can't do anything more."
From his side:—"I'll come to-morrow, Master Willie, and then see if we don't get Master Aleck's ship to sail as merrily as the 'Fair Alice' herself."
"Evenyouwill not be able to do so much as that," I rejoined; whereupon a low chuckle of merriment and satisfaction was clearly audible on the other side. I continued:—"It's very well to laugh, but if you could see Aleck's boat all lying on one side, looking not so nice even as the tub-boat in the 'Swiss Family Robinson,' you wouldn't think it so easily made all right."
No answer; but click, click inside.
"At least, do tell me what you're working at," I said, growing impatient, and battering at the door; "do tell me—there's a dear old George."
"Work that can't be hindered by playing with two young gentlemen all the afternoon. There, sir, now I've told you;" and another chuckle followed, and click, click went on as before.
I had no excuse for lingering longer. George was like a besieged garrison within a secure fortress; there was no chance of enticing him out beyond the shelter of his walls. So I could only return discomfited to the Cove.
"There's no use trying," I said to Aleck. "All that old George will promise is to come out to-morrow, and make your boat sail as well as the 'Fair Alice' herself: those are his words."
"He's not very likely to be able to do that," responded Aleck, dolefully surveying our workmanship. "I've been trying to trim it with a stone stuck securely on and tarred over; but look, even that has come off again, and it will do nothing but turn over in that wretched way. If I had been trying to construct a wreck now, I'm sure I couldn't have made anything more like."
"And that's something, after all," I said, encouragingly. "It's not every one that could have made a wreck."
But my cousin took little comfort from the suggestion; he stood looking and pondering, until, at last, after some minutes' pause, he drew a long breath and exclaimed, as if from depths of internal conviction, "I'll tell you what; I must pull it all to pieces, and put it together quite afresh—from the beginning."
"A strong-minded decision, and spoken out most heroically, Mr. Shipbuilder!" said a voice from behind, and we started at finding my father had come upon us so quietly that we had not perceived him. "You two boys are just like a pair of doctors consulting over a bad case; only you've come to what is happily rather an unusual conclusion, namely, that the best plan is to kill the patient!"
"I think the patient's dead already," answered Aleck, tragically.
"And you're only going to dissect him—is that it?" asked my father merrily, inspecting the boat, and listening with interest to the various measures which had already been tried and had failed. "Well," he added, "if my opinion as a consulting physician is to be taken, I should recommend Groves as the best surgeon; his advice to be followed in every particular, and all operations he may suggest to be duly performed."
"We've asked him," we both exclaimed, "and he said he was too busy to come."
"But," I added, "he promises that to-morrow he will make Aleck's boat sail as well as mine."
"His must be uncommonly clever fingers if they are equal to that task," said my father doubtingly; "but, as I said before, Surgeon Groves is the man for your bad case. And now I should like to know which of you means to stay at home to-morrow morning and learn the lessons which ought to be prepared this afternoon, and which will not be ready unless we are betaking ourselves home very soon? You, Willie?"
"No, papa," I said, "nor Aleck either; we mean to have a very delightful, long, whole holiday, and to do no lessons at all, not the very smallest little bit of one." And so saying, we picked up the boat and various other belongings, and, one on each side of my father, took the way of the Zig-zag up towards home.
"We haven't quite settled all we are going to do to-morrow, papa," I proceeded; "but if we may, we want to have the boat in the morning, and sail the 'Fair Alice,' and go out to some place for madrepores; and George is going to see about Aleck's boat too. And then, in the afternoon, we would play cricket with you, dear papa."
"I am much obliged to you, Willie," answered my father, playfully bowing to me, "and feel greatly honoured at your kind arrangement for my amusement. Perhaps you have planned for your mamma also; is she to field-out when I take my innings? or possibly she will bowl!"
"Auntie couldn't soon put you out if she were to bowl," said Aleck, laughing; "it would not do to trust Auntie with the ball."
"Then, perhaps, the wicket?" suggested my father.
"Now, papa, you know," I interposed, "you will be all alone with dear mamma in the morning—you always are—but you always do play with me in the afternoon; and now that Aleck is here to play also, it will be so jolly. Please, dear papa, do say you will."
"Shall I say, like the poor people,I'll consider of it?" answered my father. "But allow me to state to you both that I am at present considering another thing, which is, that so long as I have you two boys clinging one at each side of me, I am reduced to the necessity of climbing this steep hill with a matter of twelve stone in tow, and that at my time of life I ought rather to be looking upon you young people as crutches to assist my failing steps."
"Do use me as a crutch, papa!" I exclaimed.
"Please, uncle, let me be another crutch," chimed in Aleck, and we insinuated ourselves into what we thought a convenient position under his elbows. Whereupon, suddenly bringing his weight down upon us, and contriving a dexterous movement towards the bank, my father landed us both on our backs amidst the grass and the ferns, and was off at such a pace that we were some time in catching him up again, out of breath as we were with the fall, and the laughing, and the running up the hill.
"Isn't papa great fun?" I asked my cousin, as we were in pursuit.
"Glorious!" was his only response; but I thought it quite sufficient.
There are some unfortunate children who seem fated to have their holidays and special occasions drowned in rain. I, on the contrary, belonged to the favoured class, accustomed always to expect, and almost always to enjoy, sunshine bright and glorious, whensoever birth-days, high days, and whole holidays made me specially prize and value it.
So it was by no means with surprise that I opened my eyes the next morning to find the sun's golden rays streaming in at my window, and to observe, on jumping up and looking out, that there was not a cloud to be seen, save, indeed, the shadowy gray morning mist that was fast dispersing over the sea. I pattered hastily into Aleck's room before proceeding to the business of the toilet, to awaken him, and to urge upon him the desirability of getting up as soon as possible, and coming down with me into the garden to gather a nosegay for my mother, an institution of three years' standing, and which I would not upon any account have dispensed with. Aleck murmured such a very sleepy assent to my views, that I was constrained to resort to extreme measures, lest he should "go off" again, and accordingly took to the gentle persuasion of water sprinkled on his face, the counterpane delicately withdrawn from his bed, and similar little attentions, which I felt to have been completely successful, when a pillow, wielded with the vigour of self-defence, gave notice that hostilities were about to be returned, and I withdrew to my own room.
It was not long before we were both out in the garden busily engaged in a careful inspection of the flower-beds, preparatory to the flower-gathering. Any flowers I liked, I might gather on this particular morning, but as the nosegay must not be too large, choice was difficult. Aleck made plenty of fun, but in reality gave little help.
"What's the use of my advising you," he said, not without reason; "you never take my advice when you get it?" And, in truth, I had uniformly taken the opposite line to the one he suggested, choosing a scarlet geranium where he offered a light-coloured verbena, and a rose when he had suggested mignonnette.
"You see," I explained, "mamma won't care for it unless I arrange it all myself. Then Nurse has a lace paper ready which I shall put round it to make it look better. If you like you can hold the flowers," I added, kindly.
But this did not meet my cousin's views.
"I think I'll make a nosegay for uncle," he said, presently; "I suppose I may—eh, Willie?"
I felt sure there could be no objection, and signified my opinion from the very centre of a geranium bed, in which I was making active researches, that would have turned the gardener's hair gray with consternation had he not been safely off the premises at the time, comfortably engaged in discussing his breakfast. And Aleck set to work, and soon gathered a nosegay that almost, if not quite, equalled my own.
Which of our young readers who knows the delight of being let loose on some fine morning in a garden, with full permission to pluck flowers at their own sweet will, knows when to stop? We certainly did not, and should have produced bouquets, at all events, quite unrivalled for size, had it not been for the sounding of the first gong, and the appearance on the lawn of Nurse herself, still so called, although I was no longer her subject, in virtue of her unlimited right of jurisdiction over our clothes.
"A fine sight you're making of yourselves, young gentlemen," she said, beginning with general statements, and then descending into details. "I should like to know what you call that style of hair-dressing which means that every hair stands straight out in any direction but the right one, and no two of them the same. And, Master Willie, if you think you can go down into the dining-room with your tunic in its present condition, not to mention your boots, or Master Gordon's jacket, you're greatly mistaken. And then to look at your collars! No wonder that the bills are as they are, with respect to French polish and blue for clear starching; I know that boys, be they young gentlemen or others, cannot be expected to act like creatures endowed with reason, but still it passes me to understand their ways with respect to clothes well fitted too, and made in the most approved fashion."
"I thinkweshould be black and blue if nurse were not really very good-natured, though she talks like that," I whispered to Aleck; feeling too much the cause she had for strictures upon my personal appearance at the time, to take that opportunity of defending the general character of boyhood. So we surrendered at discretion, and went up-stairs to make ourselves tidy, receiving before the second gong visits of inspection from nurse, who had in the meantime tied up our nosegays for us, and placed the lace paper round the one I had gathered for my mother.
Very important I felt myself as I went down-stairs, for two little packets, folded in white paper, had been entrusted to my care by my parents respectively, containing, as I well knew, their presents for each other, which were to be delivered by me before breakfast.
Directly after prayers the presentation took place. First, the little parcel addressed to my mother, with the message, which I delivered demurely enough, that a gentleman who would not give his name, had left it for Mrs. Grant yesterday, and—but here I broke down, and my appeal, "Oh, papa, I've forgotten what more it was I was to say," produced a peal of laughter, and put an end to our little pretence of mystery.
"Your packet is much the smallest, papa," I said; and watched to see what would come out of the white paper. My father's face lit up with pleasure as he opened a small case and discovered a beautifully executed miniature of my mother.
"Willie," he said, "I think the lady who left this for me yesterday must have been very like mamma."
"Yes, papa, she wasverylike indeed," I answered; and then we proceeded to inspect the contents of my mother's parcel, and admired, as much as it is in boys to admire jewelry, a beautiful bracelet, with which she seemed quite as much pleased as my father was with his present, and which had attached to it a locket in the form of a heart, containing, as we presently discovered, my hair twined with his.
Then Aleck and I had to present our nosegays, which were, of course, greatly praised.
"An unusual honour for me!" said my father merrily, when he received his. "Willie generally cuts me off with a sprig for my button-hole."
"Aleck gathered it for you quite out of his own head, papa."
"Indeed!" said my father; "that is really the most wonderful thing I ever heard! Gathered the nosegay out of his own head! Well, I have been told of flowers growing in many strange places before, but never in so strange a place as a person's head. Aleck, my dear boy, you will be the wonder of the age, so prepare to be made a show of! a flower-garden in your head! We must let the gardener know! We ought to place you under his cultivation instead of Mr. Glengelly's!"
What a merry breakfast-table we had that morning. My father declared that he felt just like a boy, so happy in having his holiday; and Aleck and I thought him more amusing and pleasant than any boy, no one ever seemed to make us laugh as he did.
"Of course, however," he suggested, "as it is going to be a whole holiday, and no work, there need be no eating either."
But that was by no means our view of the matter; we declared ourselves more hungry than usual, and made such inroads on the honey that my father asked at last whether he had not better send out for the hive.
After breakfast we had our Bible reading with my mother; that was a treat and not a lesson—we never missed it even on whole holidays—and then my father joined us and took part in consulting over the plans for the day.
"We shall dispose of these young gentlemen at once," he said, "for I find Groves is expecting them at the Cove, so soon as they can go; and they may have the whole morning to employ as they like, in the boats, or on the rocks—anything short of being in the water, which I donotrecommend. And for ourselves, Rickson is going to bring round the pony carriage at twelve, when Mrs. Grant will be driven out by her humble servant, the coachman, supposing always that she sees no just cause or impediment." And my father playfully touched his forehead, as if waiting for orders.
It was clear to read in my mother's eyes that she saw no difficulty in the way of the drive with my father; and we boys were not less ready to avail ourselves of the permission to go out at once and for the whole morning.
We flew off to the play-room, loaded our pockets with a miscellaneous store of nails, string, and implements of one kind or another, such as we were wont to use in our various undertakings, and, carrying the melancholy hulk which Aleck had not had time to pull to pieces, we set off at express speed to the Cove, with Frisk barking at our heels.
There was not much talking during the first part of the scramble, but Aleck contrived to get the contents of one of his pockets scattered by a hasty jump, and we had to stop and pick up the things, which was the signal for our chatter to begin as usual.
"I wonder what surprise old George has for us?" I observed confidentially to my cousin.
"Whatever it is, I think he must have been a long time at it," replied Aleck; "he's been shut up in the work-shop so often of late."
"Yes," I said; "and since that one peep I told you of, I've never had a chance of looking in."
"Perhaps more ships," my cousin suggested, his thoughts running in that line.
"Ever since I can remember he's always made me something," I said; "once it was a pop-gun, and the next time it was a cart, and then, last time, the 'Fair Alice.'"
Aleck listened quietly to the catalogue of my presents, only remarking that, if they got better each time, he wondered what they'd come to be at last; thus suggesting such a pleasant subject for speculation that I did not immediately find any occasion for further talk, but ruminated as we pursued our way for a few moments in silence.
"It must be very nice," my cousin resumed presently, "having another day for presents besides Christmas-days and birth-days. I wonder where papa and mamma will be my next birth-day."
"Whatever it is that George has made for me," I said, "you shall play with it too, Aleck. I like you to play with my things."
"You're very good about the 'Fair Alice,' I'm sure," answered my cousin. "I wish I had anything to lend you that would give you half as much pleasure. I'm afraid this—referring to the boat he was carrying—will not come to much, in spite of George's promises."
It certainly did not look encouraging, but by this time we were gaining the shingle, the fresh sea-breeze blowing in our faces seemed to quicken our steps, and the rest of our way was a race between us and Frisk until we reached the lodge.
We found old George on the watch for us, his kind cheery face all in a pleasant glow of welcome. He was ready to start directly for the Cove, he told us, when the first salutations were over. But I did not feel quite so eager, as might have been expected, having a private desire to explore the work-shop, of which I perceived the door to be open.
"May I go in now?" I asked, moving towards it.
"Ay, ay, sir," answered my old friend with a merry twinkle in his eye, which developed into a broad smile by the time we returned from our fruitless inspection of bare benches and tools; and he took to singing,—