FOOTNOTES:

'——Quo non præstantior alterÆre ciere viros, Martemque accendere cantu.'[302]

"I fell into this train of thinking this evening, upon reading a passage in a masque written by Milton, where two brothers are introduced seeking after their sister, whom they had lost in a dark night and thick wood. One of the brothers is apprehensive lest the wandering virgin should be overpowered with fears through the darkness and loneliness of the time and place. This gives the other occasion to make the following reflections, which, as I read them, made me forget my age, and renewed in me the warm desires after virtue, so natural to uncorrupted youth.

'I do not think my sister so to seek,Or so unprincipled in virtue's book,And the sweet peace that goodness bosoms ever,As that the single want of light and noise(Not being in danger, as I trust she is not)Could stir the constant mood of her calm thoughts,And put them into misbecoming plight.Virtue could see to do what Virtue would,By her own radiant light, though sun and moonWere in the flat sea sunk. And Wisdom's selfOft seeks to sweet retirèd solitude:Where, with her best nurse, Contemplation,She plumes her feathers, and lets grow her wings,That in the various bustle of resortWere all too ruffled, and sometimes impaired.He that has light within his own clear breast,May sit i' th' centre, and enjoy bright day:But he that hides a dark soul, and foul thoughts,Benighted walks under the mid-day sun;Himself is his own dungeon.'"[303]

FOOTNOTES:[300]See No. 50.[301]Perhaps Dr. Thomas Walker, head schoolmaster at the Charter House, where Steele and Addison were scholars. In theSpectator, No. 488, Dr. Walker is alluded to as "the ingenious T. W."[302]"Æneid," vi. 164.

[300]See No. 50.

[301]Perhaps Dr. Thomas Walker, head schoolmaster at the Charter House, where Steele and Addison were scholars. In theSpectator, No. 488, Dr. Walker is alluded to as "the ingenious T. W."

[302]"Æneid," vi. 164.

FromThursday, Nov. 24, toSaturday, Nov. 26, 1709.

Spirat tragicum satis et feliciter audet.—Hor., 2 Ep. i. 166.

I have been this evening recollecting what passages (since I could first think) have left the strongest impressions upon my mind; and after strict inquiry, I am convinced, that the impulses I have received from theatrical representations, have had a greater effect than otherwise would have been wrought in me by the little occurrences of my private life. My old friends, Hart[304]and Mohun,[305]the one by his natural and proper force, the other by his great skill and art, never failed to send me home full of such ideas as affected my behaviour, and made me insensibly more courteous and humane to my friends and acquaintance. It is not the business of a good play to make every man a hero; but it certainly gives him a livelier sense of virtue and merit than he had when he entered the theatre. This rational pleasure (as I always call it) has for many years been very little tasted; but I am glad to find, that the true spirit of it is reviving again amongst us, by a due regard to what is presented, and by supporting only one play-house.[306]It has been within the observation of the youngest amongst us, that while there were two houses, they did not outvie each other by such representations as tended to the instruction and ornament of life, but by introducing mimical dances and fulsome buffooneries. For when an excellent tragedy was to be acted in one house, the ladder-dancer[307]carried the whole town to the other: and indeed such an evil as this must be the natural consequence of two theatres, as certainly as that there are more who can see than can think. Every one is judge of the danger of the fellow on the ladder, and his activity in coming down safe; but very few are judges of the distress of a hero in a play, or of his manner of behaviour in those circumstances. Thus, to please the people, two houses must entertain them with what they can understand, and not with things which are designed to improve their understanding: and the readiest way to gain good audiences, must be to offer such things as are most relished by the crowd; that is to say, immodest action, empty show, or impertinent activity. In short, two houses cannot hope to subsist, but by means which are contradictory to the very institution of a theatre in a well-governed kingdom.

I have ever had this sense of the thing, and for that reason have rejoiced that my ancient coeval friend of Drury Lane,[308]though he had sold off most of his movables, still kept possession of his palace, and trembled for him, when he had lately like to have been taken by a stratagem. There have for many ages been a certain learned sort of unlearned men in this nation called attorneys, who have taken upon them to solve all difficulties by increasing them, and are called upon to the assistance of all who are lazy, or weak of understanding. The insolence of a ruler of this place made him resign the possession of it to the management of my above-mentioned friend Divito. Divito was too modest to know when to resign it, till he had the opinion and sentence of the law for his removal. Both these in length of time were obtained against him: but as the great Archimedes defended Syracuse with so powerful engines, that if he threw a rope or piece of wood over the wall, the enemy fled; so Divito had wounded all adversaries with so much skill, that men feared even to be in the right against him. For this reason, the lawful ruler sets up an attorney to expel an attorney, and chose a name dreadful to the stage,[309]who only seemed able to beat Divito out of his entrenchments.

On the 22nd instant, a night of public rejoicing, the enemies of Divito made a largess to the people of faggots, tubs, and other combustible matter, which was erected into a bonfire before the palace. Plentiful cans were at the same time distributed among the dependencies of that principality; and the artful rival of Divito observing them prepared for enterprise, presented the lawful owner of the neighbouring edifice, and showed his deputation under him. War immediately ensued upon the peaceful empire of wit and the Muses; the Goths and Vandals sacking Rome did not threaten a more barbarous devastation of arts and sciences. But when they had forced their entrance, the experienced Divito had detached all his subjects, and evacuated all his stores. The neighbouring inhabitants report, that the refuse of Divito's followers marched off the night before disguised in magnificence; door-keepers came out clad like cardinals, and scene-drawers like heathen gods. Divito himself was wrapped up in one of his black clouds, and left to the enemy nothing but an empty stage, full of trap-doors, known only to himself and his adherents.

I have already taken great pains to inspire notions of honour and virtue into the people of this kingdom, and used all gentle methods imaginable, to bring those who are dead in idleness, folly, and pleasure, into life, by applying themselves to learning, wisdom, and industry. But since fair means are ineffectual, I must proceed to extremities, and shall give my good friends the Company of Upholders full power to bury all such dead as they meet with, who are within my former descriptions of deceased persons. In the meantime the following remonstrance of that corporation I take to be very just:

"Worthy Sir,"Upon reading yourTatlerof Saturday last,[310]by which we received the agreeable news of so many deaths, we immediately ordered in a considerable quantity of blacks; and our servants have wrought night and day ever since, to furnish out the necessaries for these deceased. But so it is, Sir, that of this vast number of dead bodies, that go putrefying up and down the streets, not one of them has come to us to be buried. Though we should be both to be any hindrance to our good friends the physicians, yet we cannot but take notice, what infection her Majesty's subjects are liable to from the horrible stench of so many corpses. Sir, we will not detain you; our case in short is this: here are we embarked, in this undertaking for the public good: now if people shall be suffered to go on unburied at this rate, there's an end of the usefullest manufactures and handicrafts of the kingdom: for where will be your sextons, coffin-makers, and plumbers? What will become of your embalmers, epitaph-mongers, and chief mourners? We are loth to drive this matter any further, though we tremble at the consequences of it: for if it shall be left to every dead man's discretion not to be buried till he sees his time, no man can say where that will end; but thus much we will take upon us to affirm, that such a toleration will be intolerable."What would make us easy in this matter, is no more but that your Worship would be pleased to issue out your orders to ditto dead to repair forthwith to our office, in order to their interment, where constant attendance shall be given to treat with all persons according to their quality, and the poor to be buried for nothing; and for the convenience of such persons as are willing enough to be dead, but that they are afraid their friends and relations should know it, we have a back door into Warwick Street, from whence they may be interred with all secrecy imaginable, and without loss of time, or hindrance of business. But in case of obstinacy (for we would gladly make a thorough riddance), we desire a further power from your Worship, to take up such deceased as shall not have complied with your first orders, wherever we meet them; and if after that there shall be complaints of any persons so offending, let them lie at our doors.—We are,"Your Worship's till death,The Master and Company Of Upholders."P.S.—We are ready to give in our printed proposals at large; and if your Worship approves of our undertaking, we desire the following advertisement may be inserted in your next paper:"Whereas a commission of interment has been awarded against Dr. John Partridge,[311]philomath, professor of physic and astrology; and whereas the said Partridge hath not surrendered himself, nor shown cause to the contrary, these are to certify, that the Company of Upholders will proceed to bury him from Cordwainers' Hall, on Tuesday the 29th instant, where any six of his surviving friends, who still believe him to be alive, are desired to come prepared to hold up the pall."Note.—We shall light away at six in the evening, there being to be a sermon."

"Worthy Sir,

"Upon reading yourTatlerof Saturday last,[310]by which we received the agreeable news of so many deaths, we immediately ordered in a considerable quantity of blacks; and our servants have wrought night and day ever since, to furnish out the necessaries for these deceased. But so it is, Sir, that of this vast number of dead bodies, that go putrefying up and down the streets, not one of them has come to us to be buried. Though we should be both to be any hindrance to our good friends the physicians, yet we cannot but take notice, what infection her Majesty's subjects are liable to from the horrible stench of so many corpses. Sir, we will not detain you; our case in short is this: here are we embarked, in this undertaking for the public good: now if people shall be suffered to go on unburied at this rate, there's an end of the usefullest manufactures and handicrafts of the kingdom: for where will be your sextons, coffin-makers, and plumbers? What will become of your embalmers, epitaph-mongers, and chief mourners? We are loth to drive this matter any further, though we tremble at the consequences of it: for if it shall be left to every dead man's discretion not to be buried till he sees his time, no man can say where that will end; but thus much we will take upon us to affirm, that such a toleration will be intolerable.

"What would make us easy in this matter, is no more but that your Worship would be pleased to issue out your orders to ditto dead to repair forthwith to our office, in order to their interment, where constant attendance shall be given to treat with all persons according to their quality, and the poor to be buried for nothing; and for the convenience of such persons as are willing enough to be dead, but that they are afraid their friends and relations should know it, we have a back door into Warwick Street, from whence they may be interred with all secrecy imaginable, and without loss of time, or hindrance of business. But in case of obstinacy (for we would gladly make a thorough riddance), we desire a further power from your Worship, to take up such deceased as shall not have complied with your first orders, wherever we meet them; and if after that there shall be complaints of any persons so offending, let them lie at our doors.—We are,

"Your Worship's till death,

The Master and Company Of Upholders.

"P.S.—We are ready to give in our printed proposals at large; and if your Worship approves of our undertaking, we desire the following advertisement may be inserted in your next paper:

"Whereas a commission of interment has been awarded against Dr. John Partridge,[311]philomath, professor of physic and astrology; and whereas the said Partridge hath not surrendered himself, nor shown cause to the contrary, these are to certify, that the Company of Upholders will proceed to bury him from Cordwainers' Hall, on Tuesday the 29th instant, where any six of his surviving friends, who still believe him to be alive, are desired to come prepared to hold up the pall.

"Note.—We shall light away at six in the evening, there being to be a sermon."

FOOTNOTES:[303]"Comus," 366.[304]Charles Hart, who died in 1683, was the creator of several important parts in plays by Wycherley, Dryden, and Lee. Hart and Mohun were the principal members of Killigrew's company. Hart was the grandson of Shakespeare's sister Joan, and Cibber mentions specially the fame of his representation of Othello. See No. 138.[305]Michael Mohun, like Hart, fought on the side of Charles in the Civil War, and began his life as an actor by performing women's parts. He generally played second to Hart. Gildon ("Comparison between Two Stages," 1702) says that plays were so well acted by Hart and Mohun that the audience would not be distracted to see the best dancing in Europe.[306]The thirteen years' monopoly at Drury Lane came to an end in 1695, when Betterton opened a new theatre at Lincoln's Inn Fields. In 1705, Betterton's company moved to the new theatre in the Haymarket; but the drama did not succeed at Vanbrugh's house, and in 1706 the Haymarket was let to M'Swiney. In 1708, through the instrumentality of Colonel Brett, the actors were again reunited at Drury Lane, and the Haymarket Theatre was devoted to Italian operas. But Rich soon quarrelled with his company, some of whom entered into negotiations with M'Swiney. In June 1709, Drury Lane Theatre was closed by an order from the Lord Chamberlain, and after certain structural alterations at the Haymarket, plays were acted successfully at that house. For a time there was thus again only one theatre open, until William Collier, M. P., a lawyer, got for himself the licence refused to Rich, and entered into forcible possession.[307]In the "Touchstone," 1728, attributed to James Ralph, we are told that rope-dancing was then still in great esteem with the generality of people, though it had for some years been held in contempt in the refined neighbourhood of St James's. See Prologue to Steele's "Funeral":"Old Shakespeare's days could not thus far advance;But what's his buskin to our ladder-dance?In the mid region a silk youth to stand,With that unwieldy engine at command."[308]Christopher Rich, who was forcibly expelled by Collier, by the aid of a hired rabble. According to an affidavit of Collier's, dated January 8, 1710, "On or about the 22nd of November, it being a day of public rejoicing, he ordered a bonfire to be made before the play-house door, and gave the actors money to drink your Majesty's health ... and that he came that evening to the play-house and showed the players Sir John Stanley's letter, and told them they might act as soon as they pleased, for that he had the Queen's leave to employ them. Upon which the players themselves and some soldiers got into the play-house, and the next day performed a play, but not the play that was given out, for Rich had carried away the clothes."[309]Because it recalled the name of Jeremy Collier, who began his attack on the immorality of the stage in 1698.[310]No. 96.[311]See No. 96.

[303]"Comus," 366.

[304]Charles Hart, who died in 1683, was the creator of several important parts in plays by Wycherley, Dryden, and Lee. Hart and Mohun were the principal members of Killigrew's company. Hart was the grandson of Shakespeare's sister Joan, and Cibber mentions specially the fame of his representation of Othello. See No. 138.

[305]Michael Mohun, like Hart, fought on the side of Charles in the Civil War, and began his life as an actor by performing women's parts. He generally played second to Hart. Gildon ("Comparison between Two Stages," 1702) says that plays were so well acted by Hart and Mohun that the audience would not be distracted to see the best dancing in Europe.

[306]The thirteen years' monopoly at Drury Lane came to an end in 1695, when Betterton opened a new theatre at Lincoln's Inn Fields. In 1705, Betterton's company moved to the new theatre in the Haymarket; but the drama did not succeed at Vanbrugh's house, and in 1706 the Haymarket was let to M'Swiney. In 1708, through the instrumentality of Colonel Brett, the actors were again reunited at Drury Lane, and the Haymarket Theatre was devoted to Italian operas. But Rich soon quarrelled with his company, some of whom entered into negotiations with M'Swiney. In June 1709, Drury Lane Theatre was closed by an order from the Lord Chamberlain, and after certain structural alterations at the Haymarket, plays were acted successfully at that house. For a time there was thus again only one theatre open, until William Collier, M. P., a lawyer, got for himself the licence refused to Rich, and entered into forcible possession.

[307]In the "Touchstone," 1728, attributed to James Ralph, we are told that rope-dancing was then still in great esteem with the generality of people, though it had for some years been held in contempt in the refined neighbourhood of St James's. See Prologue to Steele's "Funeral":"Old Shakespeare's days could not thus far advance;But what's his buskin to our ladder-dance?In the mid region a silk youth to stand,With that unwieldy engine at command."

"Old Shakespeare's days could not thus far advance;But what's his buskin to our ladder-dance?In the mid region a silk youth to stand,With that unwieldy engine at command."

[308]Christopher Rich, who was forcibly expelled by Collier, by the aid of a hired rabble. According to an affidavit of Collier's, dated January 8, 1710, "On or about the 22nd of November, it being a day of public rejoicing, he ordered a bonfire to be made before the play-house door, and gave the actors money to drink your Majesty's health ... and that he came that evening to the play-house and showed the players Sir John Stanley's letter, and told them they might act as soon as they pleased, for that he had the Queen's leave to employ them. Upon which the players themselves and some soldiers got into the play-house, and the next day performed a play, but not the play that was given out, for Rich had carried away the clothes."

[309]Because it recalled the name of Jeremy Collier, who began his attack on the immorality of the stage in 1698.

[310]No. 96.

[311]See No. 96.

FromSaturday, Nov. 26, toTuesday, Nov. 29, 1709.

Jam redit et Virgo, redeunt Saturnia regna.—Virg., Eclog. iv. 6.

I was last week taking a solitary walk in the garden of Lincoln's Inn (a favour that is indulged me by several of the benchers who are my intimate friends, and grown old with me in this neighbourhood), when, according to the nature of men in years who have made but little progress in the advancement of their fortune or their fame, I was repining at the sudden rise of many persons who are my juniors, and indeed at the unequal distribution of wealth, honour, and all other blessings of life. I was lost in this thought when the night came upon me, and drew my mind into a far more agreeable contemplation. The heaven above me appeared in all its glories, and presented me with such a hemisphere of stars, as made the most agreeable prospect imaginable to one who delights in the study of nature. It happened to be a freezing night, which had purified the whole body of air into such a bright transparent æther, as made every constellation visible; and at the same time gave such a particular glowing to the stars, that I thought it the richest sky I had ever seen. I could not behold a scene so wonderfully adorned and lighted up (if I may be allowed that expression) without suitable meditations on the Author of such illustrious and amazing objects. For on these occasions, philosophy suggests motives to religion, and religion adds pleasures to philosophy. As soon as I had recovered my usual temper and serenity of soul, Iretired to my lodgings with the satisfaction of having passed away a few hours in the proper employments of a reasonable creature, and promising myself that my slumbers would be sweet. I no sooner fell into them, but I dreamed a dream, or saw a vision (for I know not which to call it), that seemed to rise out of my evening meditation, and had something in it so solemn and serious that I cannot forbear communicating it; though I must confess, the wildness of imagination (which in a dream is always loose and irregular) discovers itself too much in several parts of it. Methoughts I saw the same azure sky diversified with the same glorious luminaries which had entertained me a little before I fell asleep. I was looking very attentively on that sign in the heavens which is called by the name of the Balance, when on a sudden there appeared in it an extraordinary light, as if the sun should rise at midnight. By its increasing in breadth and lustre, I soon found that it approached towards the earth; and at length could discern something like a shadow hovering in the midst of a great glory, which in a little time after I distinctly perceived to be the figure of a woman. I fancied at first it might have been the angel or intelligence that guided the constellation from which it descended; but upon a nearer view, I saw about her all the emblems with which the goddess of Justice is usually described. Her countenance was unspeakably awful and majestic, but exquisitely beautiful to those whose eyes were strong enough to behold it; her smiles transported with rapture, her frowns terrified to despair. She held in her hand a mirror, endowed with the same qualities as that which the painters put into the hand of Truth. There streamed from it a light, which distinguished itself from all the splendours that surrounded her, more than a flash of lightning shines in the midst of daylight. As she movedit in her hand, it brightened the heavens, the air, or the earth. When she had descended so low as to be seen and heard by mortals, to make the pomp of her appearance more supportable, she threw darkness and clouds about her, that tempered the light into a thousand beautiful shades and colours, and multiplied that lustre, which was before too strong and dazzling, into a variety of milder glories.

In the meantime the world was in an alarm, and all the inhabitants of it gathered together upon a spacious plain; so that I seemed to have the whole species before my eyes. A voice was heard from the clouds, declaring the intention of this visit, which was, to restore and appropriate to every one living what was his due. The fear and hope, joy and sorrow, which appeared in that great assembly after this solemn declaration, are not to be expressed. The first edict was then pronounced, that all titles and claims to riches and estates, or to any part of them, should be immediately vested in the rightful owner. Upon this, the inhabitants of the earth held up the instruments of their tenure, whether in parchment, paper, wax, or any other form of conveyance; and as the goddess moved the mirror of truth which she held in her hand, so that the light which flowed from it fell upon the multitude, they examined the several instruments by the beams of it. The rays of this mirror had a particular quality of setting fire to all forgery and falsehood. The blaze of papers, the melting of seals, and crackling of parchments made a very odd scene. The fire very often ran through two or three lines only, and then stopped. Though I could not but observe, that the flame chiefly broke out among the interlineations and codicils, the light of the mirror, as it was turned up and down, pierced into all the dark corners and recesses ofthe universe, and by that means detected many writings and records which had been hidden or buried by time, chance, or design. This occasioned a wonderful revolution among the people. At the same time, the spoils of extortion, fraud, and robbery, with all the fruits of bribery and corruption, were thrown together into a prodigious pile, that almost reached to the clouds, and was called "the Mount of Restitution"; to which all injured persons were invited to receive what belonged to them.

One might see crowds of people in tattered garments come up, and change clothes with others that were dressed with lace and embroidery. Several who were plumbs, or very near it, became men of moderate fortunes; and many others, who were overgrown in wealth and possessions, had no more left than what they usually spent. What moved my concern most, was, to see a certain street[312]of the greatest credit in Europe from one end to the other become bankrupt.

The next command was, for the whole body of mankind to separate themselves into their proper families; which was no sooner done, but an edict was issued out, requiring all children to repair to their true and natural fathers. This put a great part of the assembly in motion; for as the mirror was moved over them, it inspired every one with such a natural instinct, as directed them to their real parents. It was a very melancholy spectacle to see the fathers of very large families become childless, and bachelors undone by a charge of sons and daughters. You might see a presumptive heir of a great estate ask blessing of his coachman, and a celebrated toast paying her duty to avalet de chambre. Many under vows of celibacy appeared surrounded with a numerous issue. This change of parentage would have caused great lamentation, but that the calamity was pretty common, and that generally those who lost their children, had the satisfaction of seeing them put into the hands of their dearest friends. Men were no sooner settled in their right to their possessions and their progeny, but there was a third order proclaimed, that all the posts of dignity and honour in the universe should be conferred on persons of the greatest merit, abilities, and perfection. The handsome, the strong, and the wealthy immediately pressed forward; but not being able to bear the splendour of the mirror which played upon their faces, they immediately fell back among the crowd: but as the goddess tried the multitude by her glass, as the eagle does its young ones by the lustre of the sun, it was remarkable, that every one turned away his face from it who had not distinguished himself either by virtue, knowledge, or capacity in business, either military or civil. This select assembly was drawn up in the centre of a prodigious multitude, which was diffused on all sides, and stood observing them, as idle people use to gather about a regiment that are exercising their arms. They were drawn up in three bodies: in the first were the men of virtue; in the second, men of knowledge; and in the third, the men of business. It was impossible to look at the first column without a secret veneration, their aspects were so sweetened with humanity, raised with contemplation, emboldened with resolution, and adorned with the most agreeable airs, which are those that proceed from secret habits of virtue. I could not but take notice, that there were many faces among them which were unknown, not only to the multitude, but even to several of their own body.

In the second column, consisting of the men of knowledge, there had been great disputes before they fell into the ranks, which they did not do at last without the positive command of the goddess who presided over the assembly. She had so ordered it, that men of the greatest genius and strongest sense were placed at the head of the column: behind these, were such as had formed their minds very much on the thoughts and writings of others. In the rear of the column were men who had more wit than sense, or more learning than understanding. All living authors of any value were ranged in one of these classes; but I must confess, I was very much surprised to see a great body of editors, critics, commentators, and grammarians meet with so very ill a reception. They had formed themselves into a body, and with a great deal of arrogance demanded the first station in the column of knowledge; but the goddess, instead of complying with their request, clapped them all into liveries, and bade them know themselves for no other but lackeys of the learned.

The third column were men of business, and consisting of persons in military and civil capacities. The former marched out from the rest, and placed themselves in the front; at which the other shook their heads at them, but did not think fit to dispute the post with them. I could not but make several observations upon this last column of people; but I have certain private reasons why I do not think fit to communicate them to the public. In order to fill up all the posts of honour, dignity, and profit, there was a draught made out of each column of men who were masters of all three qualifications in some degree, and were preferred to stations of the first rank. The second draught was made out of such as were possessed of any two of the qualifications, who were disposed of in stations of a second dignity. Those who were left,and were endowed only with one of them, had their suitable posts. When this was over, there remained many places of trust and profit unfilled, for which there were fresh draughts made out of the surrounding multitude who had any appearance of these excellences, or were recommended by those who possessed them in reality.

All were surprised to see so many new faces in the most eminent dignities; and for my own part, I was very well pleased to see that all my friends either kept their present posts, or were advanced to higher.

Having filled my paper with those particulars of my vision which concern the male part of mankind, I must reserve for another occasion the sequel of it, which relates to the fair sex.[313]

FOOTNOTES:[312]Lombard Street.

[312]Lombard Street.

FromTuesday, Nov. 29, toThursday, Dec. 1, 1709.

----Postquam fregit subsellia versu,Esurit, intactam Paridi nisi vendit Agaven.

Juv., Sat. vii. 86.

The progress of my intended account of what happened when Justice visited mortals, is at present interrupted by the observation and sense of an injustice against which there is no remedy, even in a kingdom more happy in the care taken of the liberty and property of the subject than any other nation upon earth. This iniquity is committed by a most impregnable set of mortals, men who are rogues within the law; and in the very commission of what they are guilty of, professedly own, that they forbear no injury but from the terror of being punished for it. These miscreants are a set of wretches we authors call pirates, who print any book, poem, or sermon, as soon as it appears in the world, in a smaller volume, and sell it (as all other thieves do stolen goods) at a cheaper rate.[315]I was in my rage calling them rascals, plunderers, robbers, highwaymen. But they acknowledge all that, and are pleased with those, as well as any other titles; nay, will print them themselves to turn the penny. I am extremely at a loss how to act against such open enemies, who have not shame enough to be touched with our reproaches, and are as well defended against what we can say as what we can do. Railing therefore we must turn into complaint, which I cannot forbear making, when I consider that all the labours of my long life may be disappointed by the first man that pleases to rob me. I had flattered myself, that my stock of learning was worth £150 per annum, which would very handsomely maintain me and my little family, who are so happy or so wise as to want only necessaries. Before men had come up to this bare-faced impudence, it was an estate to have a competency of understanding. An ingenious droll, who is since dead (and indeed it is well for him he is so, for he must have starved had he lived to this day), used to give me an account of his good husbandry in the management of his learning. He was a general dealer, and had his "Amusements" as well comical as serious. The merry rogue said, when he wanted a dinner he wrote a paragraph of table-talk, and his bookseller upon sight paid the reckoning. He was a very good judge of what would please the people, and could aptly hit both the genius of his readers and the season of the year in his writings. His brain, which was his estate, had as regular and different produce as other men's land. From the beginning of November till the opening of the campaign, he wrote pamphlets and letters to members of Parliament, or friends in the country; but sometimes he would relieve his ordinary readers with a murder, and lived comfortably a week or two upon strange and lamentable accidents. A little before the armies took the field, his way was to open your attention with a prodigy; and a monster well written, was two guineas the lowest price. This prepared his readers for his great and bloody news from Flanders in June and July. Poor Tom![316]he is gone. But I observed, he always looked well after a battle, and was apparently fatter in a fighting year. Had this honest careless fellow lived till now, famine had stared him in the face, and interrupted his merriment, as it must be a solid affliction to all those whose pen is their portion. As for my part, I do not speak wholly for my own sake on this point; for palmistry and astrology will bring me in greater gains than these my papers; so that I am only in the condition of a lawyer who leaves the bar for chamber practice. However, I may be allowed to speak in the cause of learning itself, and lament, that a liberal education is the only one which a polite nation makes unprofitable.[317]All mechanic artisans are allowed to reap the fruit of their invention and ingenuity without invasion; but he that has separated himself from the rest of mankind, and studied the wonders of the creation, the government of his passions, and the revolutions of the world, and has an ambition to communicate the effect of half his life spent in such noble inquiries, has no property in what he is willing to produce, but is exposed to robbery and want, with this melancholy and just reflection, that he is the only man who is not protected by his country, at the same time that he best deserves it. According to the ordinary rules of computation, the greater the adventure is, the greater ought to be the profit of those who succeed in it; and by this measure, none have pretence of turning their labours to greater advantage than persons brought up to letters. A learned education, passing through great schools and universities, is very expensive, and consumes a moderate fortune, before it is gone through in its proper forms. The purchase of an handsome commission or employment, which would give a man a good figure in another kind of life, is to be made at a much cheaper rate. Now, if we consider this expensive voyage which is undertaken in the search of knowledge, and how few there are who take in any considerable merchandise, how less frequent it is to be able to turn what men have gained into profit? How hard is it, that the very small number who are distinguished with abilities to know how to vend their wares, and have the good fortune to bring them into port, should suffer being plundered by privateers under the very cannon that should protect them? The most eminent and useful author of the age we live in, after having laid out a princely revenue in works of charity and beneficence, as became the greatness of his mind, and the sanctity of his character, would have left the person in the world who was the dearest to him in a narrow condition, had not the sale of his immortal writings brought her in a very considerable dowry; though it was impossible for it to be equal to their value. Every one will know that I here mean the works of the late Archbishop of Canterbury,[318]the copy of which was sold for £2500.

I do not speak with relation to any party; but it has happened, and may often so happen, that men of great learning and virtue cannot qualify themselves for being employed in business, or receiving preferments. In this case, you cut them off from all support if you take from them the benefit that may arise from their writings. For my own part, I have brought myself to consider things in so unprejudiced a manner, that I esteem more a man who can live by the products of his understanding, than one who does it by the favour of great men.

The zeal of an author has transported me thus far, though I think myself as much concerned in the capacity of a reader. If this practice goes on, we must never expect to see again a beautiful edition of a book in Great Britain.

We have already seen the Memoirs of Sir William Temple[319]published in the same character and volume with the history of Tom Thumb, and the works of our greatest poets shrunk into penny books and garlands. For my own part, I expect to see my lucubrations printed on browner paper[320]than they are at present; and, if the humour continues, must be forced to retrench my expensive way of living, and not smoke above two pipes a day.

Mr. Charles Lillie, perfumer at the corner of Beauford Buildings, has informed me, that I am obliged to several of my customers for coming to his shop upon my recommendation; and has also given me further assurances of his upright dealing with all who shall be so kind as to make use of my name to him. I acknowledge this favour, and have, for the service of my friends who frequent his shop, used the force of magical powers to add value to his wares. By my knowledge in the secret operations of nature, I have made his powders, perfumed and plain, have the same effect as love-powder to all who are too much enamoured to do more than dress at their mistresses. His amber orange-flower, musk, and civet-violet, put only into a handkerchief, shall have the same effect towards an honourable lover's wishes as if he had been wrapped in his mother's smock. Wash-balls perfumed, camphored, and plain, shall restore complexions to that degree, that a country fox-hunter who uses them shall in a week's time look with a courtly and affable paleness, without using the bagnio or cupping.N. B.—Mr. Lillie has snuffs, Barcelona, Seville, musty, plain, and Spanish, which may be taken by a young beginner without danger of sneezing.

Whereas several walking-dead persons arrived within the bills of mortality, before and since the 15th instant, having been informed of my warrant[321]given to the Company of Upholders, and being terrified thereat (it not having been advertised that privilege or protection would be allowed), have resolved forthwith to retire to their several and respective abodes in the country, hoping thereby to elude any commission of interment that may issue out against them; and being informed of such their fallacious designs, I do hereby give notice, as well for the good of the public as for the great veneration I have for the before-mentioned useful society, that a process is gone out against them, and that, in case of contempt, they may be found or heard of at most coffee-houses in and about Westminster.

I must desire my readers to help me out from time to time in the correction of these my essays; for as a shaking hand does not always write legibly, the press sometimes prints one word for another; and when my paper is to be revised, I am perhaps so busy in observing the spots of the moon, that I have not time to find out theerratathat are crept into my lucubrations.

FOOTNOTES:[313]See No. 102.[314]"Sir Richard Steele joined in this paper" (Tickell).[315]This paper seems to have been occasioned by a pirated edition of theTatlerwhich came out just at this time. The following advertisement concerning it, was subjoined to the next paper in the original edition of theTatlerin folio, and often repeated in the subsequent numbers:"Whereas I am informed, that there is a spurious and very incorrect edition of these papers printed in a small volume; these are to give notice, that there is in the press, and will speedily be published, a very neat edition, fitted for the pocket, on extraordinary good paper, a new brevier letter, like the Elzevir editions, and adorned with several cuts by the best artists. To which is added a preface, index, and many notes, for the better explanation of these lucubrations, by the author, who has revised, amended, and made many additions to the whole.N. B.—Notice shall be given in this paper, when I conclude my first volume." (No. 102, Advertisement.)This spurious edition was sold by Hills. It was thus advertised in thePost Boy, by A. Boyer, 1st to 3rd December 1709: "This day is published one hundredTatlers, by Isaac Bickerstaff, Esq., on a fine paper, in a neat pocket volume. Price, bound, 4s., which is less than half the price of a set in folio. Sold by H. Hills, in Blackfriars, near the Water-side."[316]Tom Brown (died 1704), whose works were published in four volumes in 1707. His "Amusements Serious and Comical" appeared in 1700.[317]"As on a former occasion [No. 114] we saw Addison, when the grief of his friend seemed to break his utterance, with a calm composure taking up his theme simply to moderate its pain; so in this paper, to which also both contribute, and of which the exquisite opening humour closes abruptly in generous indignation, we may see each, according to his different nature, moved by an intolerable wrong. Of the maltreatment of authors in regard to copyright, both are speaking, and high above the irresistible laugh which Addison would raise against a law that makes only rogues and pirates prosperous, rings out the clear and manly claim of Steele to be allowed to speak in the cause of learning itself, and to lament that a liberal education should be the only one which a polite nation makes unprofitable, and that the only man who cannot get protection from his country should be he that best deserves it." (Forster, "Historical and Biographical Essays," 1858: Steele.)[318]John Tillotson married Elizabeth French, daughter of Dr. Peter French, canon of Christ Church, Oxford, and niece of Oliver Cromwell. On his death in 1694, Tillotson left nothing to his family but the copyright of his posthumous sermons; but William III. gave the widow an annuity of £400 in 1695, and added £200 more in 1698.[319]A third edition of Temple's "Memoirs of what passed in Christendom from 1672 to 1679" appeared in 1709.[320]The paper on which the original numbers of theTatlerwere printed is called "tobacco paper" in No. 160. It was very brown.[321]See No. 96.

[313]See No. 102.

[314]"Sir Richard Steele joined in this paper" (Tickell).

[315]This paper seems to have been occasioned by a pirated edition of theTatlerwhich came out just at this time. The following advertisement concerning it, was subjoined to the next paper in the original edition of theTatlerin folio, and often repeated in the subsequent numbers:"Whereas I am informed, that there is a spurious and very incorrect edition of these papers printed in a small volume; these are to give notice, that there is in the press, and will speedily be published, a very neat edition, fitted for the pocket, on extraordinary good paper, a new brevier letter, like the Elzevir editions, and adorned with several cuts by the best artists. To which is added a preface, index, and many notes, for the better explanation of these lucubrations, by the author, who has revised, amended, and made many additions to the whole.N. B.—Notice shall be given in this paper, when I conclude my first volume." (No. 102, Advertisement.)This spurious edition was sold by Hills. It was thus advertised in thePost Boy, by A. Boyer, 1st to 3rd December 1709: "This day is published one hundredTatlers, by Isaac Bickerstaff, Esq., on a fine paper, in a neat pocket volume. Price, bound, 4s., which is less than half the price of a set in folio. Sold by H. Hills, in Blackfriars, near the Water-side."

"Whereas I am informed, that there is a spurious and very incorrect edition of these papers printed in a small volume; these are to give notice, that there is in the press, and will speedily be published, a very neat edition, fitted for the pocket, on extraordinary good paper, a new brevier letter, like the Elzevir editions, and adorned with several cuts by the best artists. To which is added a preface, index, and many notes, for the better explanation of these lucubrations, by the author, who has revised, amended, and made many additions to the whole.N. B.—Notice shall be given in this paper, when I conclude my first volume." (No. 102, Advertisement.)

This spurious edition was sold by Hills. It was thus advertised in thePost Boy, by A. Boyer, 1st to 3rd December 1709: "This day is published one hundredTatlers, by Isaac Bickerstaff, Esq., on a fine paper, in a neat pocket volume. Price, bound, 4s., which is less than half the price of a set in folio. Sold by H. Hills, in Blackfriars, near the Water-side."

[316]Tom Brown (died 1704), whose works were published in four volumes in 1707. His "Amusements Serious and Comical" appeared in 1700.

[317]"As on a former occasion [No. 114] we saw Addison, when the grief of his friend seemed to break his utterance, with a calm composure taking up his theme simply to moderate its pain; so in this paper, to which also both contribute, and of which the exquisite opening humour closes abruptly in generous indignation, we may see each, according to his different nature, moved by an intolerable wrong. Of the maltreatment of authors in regard to copyright, both are speaking, and high above the irresistible laugh which Addison would raise against a law that makes only rogues and pirates prosperous, rings out the clear and manly claim of Steele to be allowed to speak in the cause of learning itself, and to lament that a liberal education should be the only one which a polite nation makes unprofitable, and that the only man who cannot get protection from his country should be he that best deserves it." (Forster, "Historical and Biographical Essays," 1858: Steele.)

[318]John Tillotson married Elizabeth French, daughter of Dr. Peter French, canon of Christ Church, Oxford, and niece of Oliver Cromwell. On his death in 1694, Tillotson left nothing to his family but the copyright of his posthumous sermons; but William III. gave the widow an annuity of £400 in 1695, and added £200 more in 1698.

[319]A third edition of Temple's "Memoirs of what passed in Christendom from 1672 to 1679" appeared in 1709.

[320]The paper on which the original numbers of theTatlerwere printed is called "tobacco paper" in No. 160. It was very brown.

[321]See No. 96.

FromThursday, Dec. 1, toSaturday, Dec. 3, 1709.

The male world were dismissed by the goddess of Justice, and disappeared, when on a sudden the whole plain was covered with women. So charming a multitude filled my heart with unspeakable pleasure; and as the celestial light of the mirror shone upon their faces, several of them seemed rather persons that descended in the train of the goddess, than such who were brought before her to their trial. The clack of tongues, and confusion of voices, in this new assembly, was so very great, that the goddess was forced to command silence several times, and with some severity before she could make them attentive to her edicts. They were all sensible that the most important affair among womankind was then to be settled, which every one knows to be the point of place. This had raised innumerable disputes among them, and put the whole sex into a tumult. Every one produced her claim, and pleaded her pretensions. Birth, beauty, wit, or wealth, were words that rung in my ears from all parts of the plain. Some boasted of the merit of their husbands; others of their own power in governing them. Some pleaded their unspotted virginity; others their numerous issue. Some valued themselves as they were the mothers, and others as they were the daughters, of considerable persons. There was not a single accomplishment unmentioned or unpractised. The whole congregation was full of singing, dancing, tossing, ogling, squeaking, smiling, sighing, fanning, frowning, and all those irresistible arts which women put in practice to captivate the hearts of reasonable creatures. The goddess, to end this dispute, caused it to be proclaimed, that every one should take place according as she was more or less beautiful. This declaration gave great satisfaction to the whole assembly, which immediately bridled up, and appeared in all its beauties. Such as believed themselves graceful in their motion, found an occasion of falling back, advancing forward, or making a false step, that they might show their persons in the most becoming air. Such as had fine necks and bosoms, were wonderfully curious to look over the heads of the multitude, and observe the most distant parts of the assembly. Several clapped their hands on their foreheads, as helping their sight to look upon the glories that surrounded the goddess, but in reality to show fine hands and arms. The ladies were yet better pleased, when they heard, that in the decision of this great controversy, each of them should be her own judge, and take her place according to her own opinion of herself, when she consulted her looking-glass.

The goddess then let down the mirror of truth in agolden chain, which appeared larger in proportion as it descended and approached nearer to the eyes of the beholders. It was the particular property of this looking-glass to banish all false appearances, and show people what they are. The whole woman was represented, without regard to the usual external features, which were made entirely conformable to their real characters. In short, the most accomplished (taking in the whole circle of female perfections) were the most beautiful; and the most defective, the most deformed. The goddess so varied the motion of the glass, and placed it in so many different lights, that each had an opportunity of seeing herself in it.

It is impossible to describe the rage, the pleasure, or astonishment, that appeared in each face upon its representation in the mirror: multitudes started at their own form, and would have broken the glass if they could have reached it. Many saw their blooming features wither as they looked upon them, and their self-admiration turned into a loathing and abhorrence. The lady who was thought so agreeable in her anger, and was so often celebrated for a woman of fire and spirit, was frightened at her own image, and fancied she saw a fury in the glass. The interested mistress beheld a harpy, and the subtle jilt a sphinx. I was very much troubled in my own heart to see such a destruction of fine faces; but at the same time had the pleasure of seeing several improved, which I had before looked upon as the greatest masterpieces of nature. I observed, that some few were so humble as to be surprised at their own charms; and that many a one who had lived in the retirement and severity of a vestal, shone forth in all the graces and attractions of a siren. I was ravished at the sight of a particular image in the mirror, which I think the most beautiful object that my eyes ever beheld. There was something more than human in her countenance: her eyes were sofull of light, that they seemed to beautify everything they looked upon. Her face was enlivened with such a florid bloom, as did not so properly seem the mark of health as of immortality. Her shape, her stature, and her mien were such as distinguished her even there where the whole fair sex was assembled.

I was impatient to see the lady represented by so divine an image, whom I found to be the person that stood at my right hand, and in the same point of view with myself. This was a little old woman, who in her prime had been about five feet high, though at present shrunk to about three-quarters of that measure; her natural aspect was puckered up with wrinkles, and her head covered with grey hairs. I had observed all along an innocent cheerfulness in her face, which was now heightened into rapture as she beheld herself in the glass. It was an odd circumstance in my dream (but I cannot forbear relating it): I conceived so great an inclination towards her, that I had thoughts of discoursing her upon the point of marriage, when on a sudden she was carried from me; for the word was now given, that all who were pleased with their own images, should separate, and place themselves at the head of their sex.

This detachment was afterwards divided into three bodies, consisting of maids, wives, and widows; the wives being placed in the middle, with the maids on the right, and widows on the left; though it was with difficulty that these two last bodies were hindered from falling into the centre. This separation of those who liked their real selves not having lessened the number of the main body so considerably as it might have been wished, the goddess, after having drawn up her mirror, thought fit to make new distinctions among those who did not like the figure which they saw in it. She made several wholesome edicts, which have slipped out of my mind;but there were two which dwelt upon me, as being very extraordinary in their kind, and executed with great severity. Their design was to make an example of two extremes in the female world: of those who are very severe on the conduct of others, and of those who are very regardless of their own. The first sentence, therefore, the goddess pronounced, was, that all females addicted to censoriousness and detraction should lose the use of speech; a punishment which would be the most grievous to the offender, and (what should be the end of all punishments) effectual for rooting out the crime. Upon this edict, which was as soon executed as published, the noise of the assembly very considerably abated. It was a melancholy spectacle, to see so many who had the reputation of rigid virtue struck dumb. A lady who stood by me, and saw my concern, told me, she wondered I could be concerned for such a pack of—I found, by the shaking of her head, she was going to give me their characters; but by her saying no more, I perceived she had lost the command of her tongue. This calamity fell very heavy upon that part of women who are distinguished by the name of prudes, a courtly word for female hypocrites, who have a short way to being virtuous, by showing that others are vicious. The second sentence was then pronounced against the loose part of the sex, that all should immediately be pregnant who in any part of their lives had run the hazard of it. This produced a very goodly appearance, and revealed so many misconducts, that made those who were lately struck dumb, repine more than ever at their want of utterance; though, at the same time (as afflictions seldom come single), many of the mutes were also seized with this new calamity. The ladies were now in such a condition, that they would have wanted room, had not the plain been large enough to let them divide their ground, and extend their lines onall sides. It was a sensible affliction to me to see such a multitude of fair ones either dumb or big-bellied. But I was something more at ease when I found that they agreed upon several regulations to cover such misfortunes: among others, that it should be an established maxim in all nations, that a woman's first child might come into the world within six months after her acquaintance with her husband; and that grief might retard the birth of her last till fourteen months after his decease.

This vision lasted till my usual hour of waking, which I did with some surprise, to find myself alone, after having been engaged almost a whole night in so prodigious a multitude. I could not but reflect with wonder at the partiality and extravagance of my vision; which according to my thoughts, has not done justice to the sex. If virtue in men is more venerable, it is in women more lovely; which Milton has very finely expressed in his "Paradise Lost," where Adam, speaking of Eve, after having asserted his own pre-eminence, as being first in creation and internal faculties, breaks out into the following rapture:

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