THE TORCH-BEARERS.Act III.
NOTE:
The setting for Act III is the same as for Act I except that the small chair which Jenny brings on at the opening of the play is eliminated.
Jenny is seated at the table below the piano, reading the Pictorial Review. The door closes out at the right. She stops reading and listens. Then resumes. Ritter wanders in from the right hallway, wearing a black overcoat and a derby. The derby is a bit over one eye and his cigar is at a comic angle. Jenny sees him and rises immediately, circling around to the left to the middle of the room.
Jenny.Oh, Mr. Ritter! [He comes into the center-door and stands there, looking at nothing.] I didn’t hear you come in, sir. Is the show over?
Ritter.[Removing his gloves] It’s all over town by this time.
Jenny.[Standing slightly left of the center of the room, facing him] Mrs. Ritter just telephoned a minute ago.
Ritter.Is she alive?
Jenny.Alive, Mr. Ritter?
Ritter.[Moving down to the table below the piano, and thrusting his gloves into his overcoat pocket] Because if she is, she’s got a charmed life. [Commencing to unfasten his coat] The Seamen’s Institute! God help them on a night like this.
Jenny.She was anxious to know if you were still unconscious.
Ritter.[Taking off his overcoat] If she telephones again, tell her yes. [He is in a tuxedo-suit.]
Jenny.[Crossing to him and helping him with the coat] Ain’t you feelin’ well again, Mr. Ritter?
Ritter.No, Jenny, I’m not. [He hands her his derby.]
Jenny.[Taking the hat and coat to the partition-seat above the piano] Well, I’m sure I’m sorry, sir.
Ritter.[Removing his scarf] And after that exhibition tonight,—I don’t think I ever shall feel exactly well again.
Jenny.[Coming down at his left and passing back of him] Was it a sad play?
Ritter.[Handing her his scarf, and speaking with measured conviction] The saddest thing I’ve ever seen in my life.
Jenny.I allus cry when a show is sad.
Ritter.Is that so?
Jenny.Yes, sir; and a funny thing about me is—the sadder it is the more I cry.
Ritter.You’d have had a big night if you’d been with me. [She passes back of him with the scarf, to putit with the other things.] You’d better leave those things here, Jenny, I may leave town again tonight.
Jenny.I’ll leave them right here. [She turns from an arrangement of the things and comes forward to the middle of the room.] Did they clap much when Mrs. Ritter finished?
Ritter.[Still standing above the table near the piano, clipping the tip of a cigar which he has taken from his pocket] I didn’t wait for the finish; they carried me out.
Jenny.I’m dyin’ till she gets home, for I know exactly how she felt. [He looks at her keenly—she is looking straight ahead.]
Ritter.Have you been on the stage, too, Jenny?
Jenny.[Turning to him] No, sir, I haven’t, Mr. Ritter, not lately. But when I was at home in England I used to go on every once in a while. For a bit of a change, you know.
Ritter.Yes, I know.
Jenny.We had a little club in the town I lived in, and we used to give a show twice a year. [Ritter nods slowly and comprehendingly.] I always took off the comical parts.
Ritter.How is it they didn’t get you into this show tonight?
Jenny.Oh, I haven’t been on for a long time now, Mr. Ritter. My husband put a stop to it. [She looks away off.]
Ritter.[Turning to her] What was the matter?
Jenny.[Turning to him, suddenly] He died.
Ritter.[Replacing his penknife] I see.
Jenny.And I never felt much like cuttin’ up after that. [The telephone-bell rings. She turns quickly and starts for the center-door.]
Ritter.[Moving over towards the mantelpiece] See who that is, Jenny.
Jenny.[Hurrying out into the left hallway] Yes, sir.
Ritter.[Getting a match from the table below the mantelpiece] Anybody for me, I’ve gone into permanent retirement.
Jenny.[At the telephone] Yes? [He listens narrowly.] Mr. Ritta? [He makes a rapid movement towards her.] Oh, Mrs. Ritta?
Ritter.[In a subdued tone] Who do they want?
Jenny.[Into the telephone] No, mam, she hasn’t got home yet. [Lowering the telephone and speaking to Ritter] Mrs. Ritter.
Ritter.[Casually] Who is it, the police? [He lights his cigar.]
Jenny.[Into the telephone] All right, Mrs. Livingston, I’ll give her your message as soon as she comes in. You’re more than welcome I’m sure. [She hangs up and comes to the center-door.]
Ritter.[Looking at her] Mrs. Livingston?
Jenny.Yes, sir.
Ritter.What did she want?
Jenny.She sez she wanted to congratulate Mrs. Ritter on her perfect performance tonight.
Ritter.Did she see the show?
Jenny.She didn’t say, sir.
Ritter.[Conclusively, and crossing in front of her down to the window at the right] She didn’t see it. If any of those women come back here with Mrs. Ritter, Jenny,—say that I’m not home yet, do you understand.
Jenny.[Settling the overcoat on the partition-seat] Yes, sir.
Ritter.[Looking through the window] And that you haven’t seen anythingofme.
Jenny.Yes, sir, Mr. Ritter, all right.
Ritter.If my wife’s alone, let me know as soon as she comes in.
Jenny.Yes, sir, I will. [The telephone-bell rings, and she hurries out to answer it.]
Ritter.[Half turning from the window] You haven’t seen anything of me, remember.
Jenny.No, sir. [Into the telephone] Yes, sir? [He listens, without turning.] No, sir, she hasn’t got home yet. [She lowers the telephone and looks at him, wide-eyed. He feels that she’s looking at him and turns suddenly.]
Ritter.[Taking a step towards her, below the piano] What is it?
Jenny.[Into the telephone] No, sir,hehasn’t got home yet neither.
Ritter.[Apprehensively] Do they want me?[She nods yes.] Who is it? [She nods that she doesn’t know.] Police Headquarters I’ll bet a ten dollar note! [He crosses down below the table at the left and around up to the mantelpiece.] Tell them that I had absolutely nothing to do with her going on! That I didn’t hear about it until last night! [He crosses back again down towards the table below the piano.] And that I’ve been unconscious ever since.
Jenny.[Into the telephone] The Times?
Ritter.[Stopping above the table] My God, the newspapers have got hold of it!
Jenny.[Into the telephone] Well, just a minute, please.
Ritter.[Turning suddenly to her] Tell them she did it on a bet!
Jenny.The Times newspaper wants to know if Mrs. Ritter has a full-length photograph of herself for the morning paper.
Ritter.[Emphatically, and going out through the center-door into the right hallway and up the stairs] Tell them NO!
Jenny.[Into the telephone] Hello.
Ritter.But that she’ll have some taken as soon as she gets out of jail. [He goes through the arched doorway at the head of the stairs.]
Jenny.[Into the telephone] Why, I couldn’t say, sir, whether Mrs. Ritter has a photograph of herself or not, sir; but I’ll give her your message as soon as she comes in.
Mrs. Pampinelli.[In the right hallway] Hurry, Theodore.
Jenny.[Still at the telephone] You’re more than welcome I’m sure. [She hangs up and hurries in through the center-door, glancing out the right hallway as she comes and, gathering up Mr. Ritter’s overcoat, derby and scarf, hurries over above the table at the left and out.]
Mrs. Pampinelli.[In the right hallway] Be careful of those jonquils. Now, be careful, Theodore! Now go back and fetch the others. [Coming into view, and seeing Jenny coming in again at the left door] Oh, you’re up, Jenny, aren’t you! [She comes through the center-door, carrying her fan and an armload of orchids and red chrysanthemums, and wearing an enormous flowing cape of ruffled black lace, touched all over with tiny circular sequins in gold. Her dress, of course, is the ruby-velvet one of the preceding act.]
Jenny.Yes, mam, I’m up.
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Hastening to the table below the piano] I’m so glad; I hope I haven’t roused you. [She puts her fan on the piano and sets all the flowers down on the table.] Will you go out and get those flowers from my chauffeur, Jenny?
Jenny.[Going out through the center-door into the right hallway] Yes, mam.
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Arranging the flowers on the table] He’s set them right down there in the hallway.I came right on in when I found the door unlocked; I was afraid you’d be asleep.
Jenny.No, mam, I was waitin’ up.
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Sweeping around to her left and up to the center-door] Well, that’s perfectly angelic of you I’m sure. [She stands on the left side of the center-door and looks out into the right hallway.] Can you manage, dear?
Jenny.[Appearing from the right] I think so. [She struggles through the center-door carrying an enormous horseshoe, made of red and white carnations and ferns. It is at least four feet high, set upon an easel, and across the front of it is a strip of white-satin ribbon ten inches wide with the word “SUCCESS” inscribed upon it in blue-velvet letters. She is also carrying a huge basket of jonquils, and a star made of white pansies. This last touch is fastened upon a violet easel.]
Mrs. Pampinelli.Let me help you, child. [She takes the basket of jonquils and the star of pansies from Jenny.] Now, set that right down there. [She indicates a point in front of the mantelpiece for the horseshoe, and Jenny crosses in front of her with it.] I want Mrs. Ritter to see itfirst, when she comes in,—it’s so appropriate. [She sets the basket of jonquils on the piano.] I suppose we can put these down anywhere here until she comes, can’t we? [She sets the easel of pansies down on the floor at the right of the table below the piano.]
Jenny.[Having set the horseshoe down in front of the mantelpiece] This way, Mrs. Pampinelli?
Mrs. Pampinelli.No, dear,facingthe door.
Jenny.Oh, I see. [She turns it round facing the center-door.]
Mrs. Pampinelli.That’s it. I want it to catch her eye as she comes in. And now will you go back and fetch the others, Jenny?
Jenny.[Hurrying out through the center-door] Yes, mam.
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Gathering up the chrysanthemums from the table] And these chrysanthemums, [She sweeps across towards the mantelpiece and turns to her left, strewing the chrysanthemums through the center-door and down toward the table at the left.] I’ll just strew in her pathway. [Jenny comes in from the right hallway carrying a huge anchor of vivid red roses, with a broad band of navy-blue ribbon running diagonally across it, and the words “SEAMEN’S INSTITUTE” in white-velvet letters. She stands right in the center-door, holding it, waiting for instructions as to its disposition from Mrs. Pampinelli. But Mrs. Pampinelli is lost in admiration of it, standing just to the left of the center-door.] Now, set that right down here, Jenny. [She indicates a point at the extreme left, below the door, and Jenny hastens to place it there, setting it down half-facing the center-door; and Mrs. Pampinelli stands up at the center-door admiring it.]Hope! [Jenny turns to her and gives a faint little laugh.] Hope, for the success [She indicates the horseshoe with a gesture.] of our enterprise. [They both laugh, and Mrs. Pampinelli steps quickly down to the table below the piano and picks up the orchids.] And these orchids, I think I shall just put right here on this table. [She crosses to the table below the casement-window and puts them down; then straightens up and sighs.] Ho, dear me, I’m warm! [She crosses back between the piano and the table below it, picking up her fan as she goes.]
Jenny.[Moving up and across back of the table at the left, towards the center of the room] ’Tis a bit warm.
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Fanning herself, as she moves towards the middle of the room] And then I hurried so,—foolishly.
Jenny.Did everything go along all right?
Mrs. Pampinelli.Magnificently, my dear child! And Mrs. Ritter was a positive sensation.
Jenny.Did she get all these flowers?
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Deprecatingly] Ho! This isn’t the half of them! We sent three automobiles full to the various hospitals. And Mrs. Fell’s car was still taking them when I left. [Jenny shakes her head from side to side in wonderment.] These are just a few that we rescued for Mrs. Ritter. [She moves towards the center-door.] Sort of a little surprise forher, you know, when she gets home. [She stands looking out into the right hallway, expectantly.]
Jenny.They’re certainly ’andsome.
Mrs. Pampinelli.She doesn’t even know that I’ve brought them.
Jenny.Is she comin’ right home, do you know, Mrs. Pampinelli?
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Turning to Jenny] Why, Iexpecther, yes. I was afraid she’d get here ahead of me. She was waiting for Mr. Ritter. [Coming forward a little] We heard at the hall that he was there, and she thought probably he’d come back and pick her up. He hasn’tcomehome, has he?
Jenny.No, mam, I haven’t seen anything of him.
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Laughing a little, indulgently, securing a hair-pin, and moving over towards the right] Poor man! His wife’s success has very likely gone to his head. [She glances out the window.]
Jenny.He went out of here about eight o’clock.
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Turning and coming back towards Jenny] Yes, we were so surprised to hear that he was there at all. Because Mrs. Ritter had said that he hadn’t regained consciousness up to the time she left the house.
Jenny.He hadn’t, neither. I thought I ’ad two ’eads on me when I came in and saw him puttin’ on ’is ’at and coat.
Mrs. Pampinelli.Well, did he seem all right?
Jenny.Yes, he seemed right enough; but he wasawful pale-lookin’. And a couple a times I spoke to ’im, he gave me kind of a funny answer. So I got a bit frightened, you know; and I asked ’im if he knew where he was goin’. And he said, “Yes,” that he was goin’ to see “The Torch-Bearers.” Kind a flightly, you know.
Mrs. Pampinelli.Well, he would be, naturally.
Jenny.So then,—when he got to the door, he turned around—and he sez to me—“Jenny!—if you never see me again,—I want you to know Idiedin the cause of Art.”—And he went out.
Mrs. Pampinelli.He was probably rambling a bit.
Jenny.But, he walked straight enough.
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Turning suddenly to the center-door] I think I hear a machine, Jenny.
Jenny.[Stepping across quickly below the table to the casement-window] I’ll see.
Mrs. Pampinelli.Do quickly, dear.
Jenny.Is Mrs. Fell comin’ back tonight?
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Looking out eagerly into the right hallway] Yes, she’s bringing the rest of the flowers. I’ve sent my car back for her.
Jenny.[Turning abruptly from the window and hurrying across below the piano towards the center-door] Here’s Mrs. Ritta now!
Mrs. Pampinelli.Is Mr. Ritter with her? [Intercepting Jenny] No, don’t go out, Jenny! I want to hear what they say when they see the flowers.[Turning her round by the shoulder and indicating the door down at the left] You go into the other room there, and I’ll hide here— [She moves forward at the right and across below the piano.] in this window.
Jenny.[Hurrying towards the door at the left] All right, mam.
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Stopping near the window and turning to Jenny] And, Jenny dear!
Jenny.[Turning at the left door] Yes, mam?
Mrs. Pampinelli.Don’t come out—until you hearmesay “SURPRISE!”
Jenny.All right, Mrs. Pampinelli, I won’t. [Mrs. Pampinelli steps into the alcove of the window, then turns again to Jenny.]
Mrs. Pampinelli.Now, remember, Jenny,—“SURPRISE!”
Jenny.Yes, I know. [She closes the door, and Mrs. Pampinelli conceals herself behind the window-drapery. There is a slight pause; then Mrs. Ritter hurries in from the right hallway, carrying a marvelous bouquet of American Beauty roses. She comes in through the center-door and stands, looking, with a touch of astonishment, at the horseshoe. Then her eyes wander down to the anchor; and then over to the easel at the right. She is gowned in a very pale shade of gray lace, with gray-silk slippers and stockings; and around her head she is wearing a wreath of laurel in gold, touched with brilliants. Her cloak is of black chiffon-velvet, with a cape collar of black fox. Sheslides this cloak from her shoulders onto the partition-seat at the right, and starts across towards the door at the left.]
Mrs. Ritter.[Opening the door] Are you up, Jenny?—Jenny! [She closes the door again and crosses above the table at the left and over to the one below the piano. Here she sets down a few of the roses, then decides there is not sufficient room for all of them, and starts across to the table at the left. Ritter appears at the head of the stairs and starts down slowly. She sees him, and stops dead.] Fred! [She moves up towards the left of the center-door.] You don’t mean to tell me you’ve been home here,—and there I’ve been waiting at the hall since before ten o’clock. [He wanders in through the center-door and leans against the piano, holding a lighted cigar in his hand.] Why didn’t you come back for me? Irene Colter had to bring me home. [She starts to cry.] Clara Sheppardtoldme she saw you there, so, naturally, I waited for you. And when you didn’t come back, why, of course, right away—I thought something had happened to you. [She cries into her handkerchief.]
Ritter.[Without moving, and in a toneless voice] Somethinghashappened to me. [She looks at him apprehensively.]
Mrs. Ritter.What happened to you, Fred?
Ritter.[Stonily, and moving down and across below the piano] I’ve seen you act.
Mrs. Ritter.What? [He raises his left hand solemnly and continues to the corner of the piano nearest the window, where he leans. She moves down a bit after him.] What’s the matter, Fred,—did you have another of those spells that you had last night?
Ritter.Yes; only a great deal worse.
Mrs. Ritter.Oh, isn’t that dreadful! What do you think it is, dear?
Ritter.[Turning slightly, and glancing at the violet easel and over at the anchor] I don’t know what it is. It looks like awaketo me. Who’s dead?
Mrs. Ritter.Dead?
Ritter.What are all these flowers doing here?
Mrs. Ritter.Why, I imagine some of the ladies have been here from the show—to fix up a little surprise forme.
Ritter.They should have lighted a few candles, and completed the effect.
Mrs. Ritter.But, these are just presents, Fred, from friends of ours.
Ritter.[Straightening up, and moving across below the table] They are tokens of sympathy, that’s what they are. [He crosses up and over above the table at the left.]
Mrs. Ritter.[Following him over] But, there’s nobodydead, dear!
Ritter.[Raising his left hand solemnly again] Oh, yes there is! Oh yes!
Mrs. Ritter.Really, dear! [He turns, just back of the arm-chair, and pins her with a look.]
Ritter.You’re dead. [She stands perfectly still, looking at him, wide-eyed.] You died tonight,—down there on that stage at Horticultural Hall. And so did everybody that was up there with you.
Mrs. Ritter.[With a troubled, uncomprehending expression] Why, how could I be dead, dear,—when I’m here,—talking to you? [He stands looking straight ahead, smoking. She bursts out crying, and turns to the partition-seat at the right of the center-door.] Oh, Fred! it’s terrible to see you this way!
Ritter.[Sweeping his hand across his brow and starting across below the table towards the right] The human brain can only stand so much.
Mrs. Ritter.[Setting her roses down on the partition-seat] You’ve just been working yourself to death! But nobody could tell you anything! [She starts out into the left hallway for the telephone.]
Ritter.[Stopping over near the window and turning] What are you going to do?
Mrs. Ritter.[Turning to him] Why, I’m going to call Doctor Wentworth of course.
Ritter.What for?
Mrs. Ritter.Why, because youneedhim!
Ritter.[Taking a step or two towards her, between the piano and the table below it] I won’t see any doctor, now!
Mrs. Ritter.[Coming back through the center-door] Now,—listen, Fred—
Ritter.[Raising his hand, and crossing to the left] I won’t see any doctor, I tell you—there’s nothing he can do for me: [He stops above the arm-chair at the left and rests his hand upon the back of it.] it’s all been done. There’s nothing left for me but to get out of town.
Mrs. Ritter.[Following him over] Well, just let him come over andseeyou, dear.
Ritter.What would I let him come over andseeme for? There’s nothing the matter with me.
Mrs. Ritter.Why, you’re as pale as a ghost!
Ritter.That’s nothing—I’ve had a scare.
Mrs. Ritter.[Solicitously] What scared you, dear? [He turns and looks at her.]
Ritter.I was afraid every minute somebody was going to shootyou.
Mrs. Ritter.[After a bewildered pause] But, why should anybody shootme, darling?
Ritter.For trying to act. [He moves forward and across in front of the table, to the right,—she watching him blankly.] Making a laughing-stock of yourselves in front of the community.
Mrs. Ritter.Didn’t you like me, Fred?
Ritter.[Casually, as he nears the window] I did till I saw you act. [He turns around to his right and leans on the piano. She moves over towards the table below the piano.]
Mrs. Ritter.[Rather helplessly, as the situation dawns upon her] Why, Mrs. Pampinelli said I was a great artist.
Ritter.[With vast amusement] Ha! [Then he looks at his wife and speaks very exactly.] Mrs. Pampinelli is perhaps the world’s greatestNUT. [Mrs. Pampinelli, standing back in the widow-alcove at the right, in a state of puzzled irresolution, reacts, physically, to this last observation, causing an abrupt movement of the drapery. But, neither Ritter nor his wife are looking in that direction at the moment.]
Mrs. Ritter.[Laying the remaining roses on the table] She says I ought to go on with the work.
Ritter.[Dryly] She meant the housework. [He replaces his cigar in his mouth.]
Mrs. Ritter.[Looking at him with a touch of resentment] No, she didn’t mean anything of the kind. She says I ought to go to New York. [He takes the cigar from his mouth and looks at her keenly.]
Ritter.And what would you do when you’dgetthere?
Mrs. Ritter.Why, I’d go on the stage, of course.
Ritter.[Very level] How?
Mrs. Ritter.Why, I’d go to the people that have charge of it.
Ritter.And, do you think they’d put you on the stage simply because you wanted togoon it?
Mrs. Ritter.Well, Mrs. Pampinelli could give me a letter—
Ritter.Hum!
Mrs. Ritter.So that I’d have it when I’dgetthere.
Ritter.That’d do you a lot of good. You’d find athousandthere ahead of you, with letters from Mrs. Pampinellis. Nobody in New York knows Mrs. Pampinelli; and if they did, it’d probablykillany chance that a personmighthave otherwise. [Mrs. Pampinelli can contain herself no longer. She flips the window-drapery aside with a deft movement and stands looking at Ritter, from a great height. Mrs. Ritter, who is facing the window, utters an abrupt shriek of astonishment. Then Ritter turns, rather casually, to see the cause of his wife’s agitation, and finds himself looking into the frozen eyes of Mrs. Pampinelli. He regards her rather impersonally, and then quietly reaches up and secures his collar and tie. She steps majestically from the window-alcove and moves a bit nearer to him, still holding him with an icy stare.]
Mrs. Pampinelli.[After a devastating pause] You creature.
Ritter.[Turning smoothly away, to his left, as though he had been suddenly struck by something, in the right eye] Anotheractress. [He moves along a few steps to the left, in front of the table, then turns and speaks to Mrs. Pampinelli over his left shoulder.] What did you do, come through the window?
Mrs. Pampinelli.I’ve beenhidinghere.
Ritter.[Resuming his walk over to the left] I don’tblame you,—after that show; I’ve been doing the same thing myself. [He sits in the arm-chair over at the left.]
Mrs. Ritter.[Who has been standing in a panic in the middle of the room, staring wide-eyed at Mrs. Pampinelli] Oh, Mrs. Pampinelli,—youdidn’thear what he’s been saying?
Mrs. Pampinelli.Every word. [She very regally deposits her fan upon the piano, and Mrs. Ritter, turning to Ritter, makes a long, moaning sound.]
Mrs. Ritter.Now, Fred Ritter, you see what you’ve done! [She bursts into tears, and comes down to the chair at the left of the table below the piano and sits down.]
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Moving to a point above the table] And I wouldn’t have missed it. I’ll know how to regard this gentleman in the future. I came home hurriedly with these few flowers as a little acknowledgment of the appreciation your work deserved; and all I hear is abuse; and a very crude, but very venomous attempt at satire. [Mrs. Ritter weeps aloud.] Control yourself, darling, I wouldn’t please him.
Ritter.[Quietly] She’s acting again.
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Withering him with a glance] You barbarian! [To Mrs. Ritter] Pull yourself together, dear.
Mrs. Ritter.Oh, I justcan’t, Mrs. Pampinelli.
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Addressing Ritter directly, andindicating Mrs. Ritter] Look at the state of emotion you’ve got this poor girl into!
Ritter.She’s an emotional actress. [Mrs. Ritter bursts forth again.]
Mrs. Pampinelli.Savage! [To Mrs. Ritter] Let me get you something, darling.
Mrs. Ritter.Call Jenny.
Mrs. Pampinelli.Yes, dear. [She crosses to a point just to the left of the middle of the room, then stops and calls toward the door at the left.] Jenny dear,SURPRISE! [Ritter listens, with a puzzled expression.] Come here, Jenny,—SURPRISE! [Ritter turns around in the chair, to his right, and looks at her curiously. She meets his eyes with steady bitterness. Then he shifts his gaze to his wife.]
Ritter.Why didn’t you take your make-up off?
Mrs. Ritter.I forgot it,—I was so worried about you.
Ritter.You look like a Dutch squaw. [She bursts into tears again.]
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Hastening over to her] Let her alone! Don’t mind him, Paula.
Ritter.She’s all made up! and it’s coming off.
Mrs. Pampinelli.Well, what if it is?
Ritter.[Settling back into the arm-chair] I don’t want to be reminded of that show. [Jenny enters hurriedly from the door at the left.]
Mrs. Pampinelli.Mrs. Ritter is ill, Jenny.[Jenny comes quickly across, above the table at the left.]
Mrs. Ritter.[Half turning to her] My smelling-salts, Jenny.
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Standing back of Mrs. Ritter] Her smelling-salts, dear.
Jenny.[Hurrying out through the center-door] Yes, mam.
Mrs. Ritter.They’re in my bureau-basket.
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Turning and calling after Jenny] In her bureau-basket, Jenny.
Jenny.[Running up the stairs] Yes, mam, I know where they are.
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Gathering up the roses from the table] Let me take these flowers out of your way, dear. You’ve been treated abominably. Although your husband’s attitude is entirely consistent with that of the average husband’s, after his wife has distinguished herself. [Ritter makes a little sound of amusement, and she glares at him.] And any observations of Mr. Ritter’s to the contrary, youdiddistinguish yourself tonight, Paula. [She turns to her right and puts the roses on the piano.]
Ritter.[Sitting away down in the arm-chair, smoking] So did the Cherry Sisters. [Mrs. Ritter weeps again.]
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Turning back again from the piano to Mrs. Ritter] We are not talking to you at all, sir. [Mrs. Ritter has a slight coughing spell.]
Mrs. Ritter.Will you get me a drink of water, please?
Mrs. Pampinelli.Certainly, darling, where is it?
Mrs. Ritter.You’ll find it just inside the breakfast-room. [Mrs. Pampinelli sails across the room towards the left door. Just as she is passing back of Ritter’s chair, he turns and looks at her, and the excessive grandeur of her manner causes him to burst out laughing. But she simply freezes him with a look and goes out through the left door. He continues to laugh; and Mrs. Ritter, not having seen the cause of his laughter, stops crying and turns and looks at him, very troubled.] Fred Ritter, you’re acting to me tonight—just like a man that’d be losing his mind! [He looks over at her.] I really thought that was what was the matter with you when I first came in!
Ritter.[Very confidentially] Listen—When I didn’t lose my mind watching that show tonight, I couldn’t go nutty if I tried.
Mrs. Ritter.Well, if anybody else comes here tonight, you just keep that kind of talk to yourself. There were lots of people there that thought it was wonderful. Look at all these flowers.
Ritter.These flowers were all paid for long before anybody saw that show. [There is a staccato tap at the front door-bell. Jenny is hurrying down the stairs with the smelling-salts.]
Mrs. Ritter.[Rising, and trying to fix herself up a bit] Well, that’s only your opinion. [She starts forthe center-door.] This is very likely Nelly Fell. [Turning back to him as she nears the center-door] Now, don’t you say anything toher, remember! She likes you.
Mrs. Fell.[In the right hallway] No, I think I can manage, Theodore. [Jenny hands Mrs. Ritter the smelling-salts, at the center-door.]
Mrs. Ritter.Thanks, Jenny.
Jenny.You’re welcome. [She hurries out into the right hallway, and Mrs. Ritter comes forward to the chair below the piano, sniffing the salts. Ritter rises and saunters around and up to the left of the arm-chair.]
Mrs. Fell.You can close that door, if you will! Couldn’t wait for you, Jenny! [She rushes in from the right hallway.] I’m too much excited! [She plants herself in the center-door, holding aloft in her right hand a beautiful basket of tulips, and in her left, a huge bouquet of violets.] Well, hereIam, withmyfrankincense and myrrh! [She gives an hysterical giggle and teeters forward towards Mrs. Ritter.] Oh, there you are, Frederick Ritter! We thought something had happened to you! Pauline, dear child, I’ve come to worship at your shrine. [She places the basket of tulips down on the floor to the left of Mrs. Ritter, then straightens up, regards Mrs. Ritter, giggles frantically, and looks over at Ritter.]
Mrs. Ritter.[Laughing wanly, and trying generallynot to appear as though she’d been crying] You’ve been very sweet.
Mrs. Fell.Not half so sweet as you were on that stage tonight! [Speaking confidentially, and with great conviction] Dear child, you’re made! Absolutely made! [Turning to Ritter] Isn’t she, Frederick? [But he’s busy getting rid of some ashes in the fireplace, so she returns to Mrs. Ritter.] It’s one of those overnight things that one reads about! [She picks up the basket of tulips from the floor and teeters around above the table.] Dear me, look at this wilderness of flowers! [She sets the basket on the table.]
Mrs. Ritter.[Trying not to cry] Yes, yes, aren’t they beautiful! [She darts a look at Ritter.]
Mrs. Fell.[Rapturously] Not another word until I’ve kissed you! [She kisses her on the left side of the head.] Oh, you sweet child! [She shakes Mrs. Ritter by the shoulders.] what can Isayto you! [Then she teeters to the middle of the room, addressing Ritter directly.] See here, young man! Why aren’t you justpeltingyour wife with these flowers? [He tries to hide his appreciation of the situation by turning away his head.] Answer me! [He bursts out laughing, and Nelly teeters back towards Mrs. Ritter.] My dear, the man is so pleased he can’t talk! [Ritter laughs a little more.] And if you were any other woman but his wife, Paula, he’d be sending you mash-notes! [Ritter begins to laugh again, and Nelly teeters towards him.] Oh, you can laugh all you like, FrederickRitter, but you can’t fool Nelly Fell! [She comes back towards Mrs. Ritter, addressing her.] I’ve had three husbands,—I know their tricks. [She places her finger on Mrs. Ritter’s shoulder.] Pauline, dear child, you may be sure that that young man is proud of you tonight if he never was before. [Mrs. Ritter tries to laugh.] And when he gets you alone—[Mrs. Ritter’s attempt at laughter is instantly abandoned, and she gives a startled glance toward Ritter, who turns away to his left and goes up towards the mantelpiece.] Oh, when he gets you alone! [Mrs. Fell turns slowly and looks toward Ritter, with a roguish expression and a measured shaking of her finger at him.] He’s going to tell you you were the loveliest thing that ever stepped on a stage. If he hasn’t done so already. Have you, Frederick? [She looks at him with a mischievous eye.] Have you? [He laughs, at the irony of the situation. She crosses towards him.] Come on, ’fess up!—I know the position is difficult! [He laughs hard, and she laughs with him; then turns back to Mrs. Ritter. Jenny comes in from the right hallway.] You see, my dear, the man is so pleased he can’t talk! [She sees Jenny passing along the hallway and steps quickly up to the center-door.] Oh, Jenny dear! Will you take these violets out and put them in some water.
Jenny.[Taking the violets] Yes, mam. [Mrs. Pampinelli enters at the left door, with a glass of water.]
Mrs. Fell.I’m afraid they’ll be all withered.[Jenny continues on into the left hallway. Mrs. Fell turns around into the room again.] Where’s Mrs. P.? [Sees Mrs. Pampinelli] Oh, there you are! I was just wondering where you were.
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Crossing above the table at the left, towards Mrs. Ritter] Did you get the smelling-salts, Jenny?
Jenny.Yes, mam, I gave them to Mrs. Ritter. [She goes out at the left hallway.]
Mrs. Ritter.Yes, Betty, I have them.
Mrs. Fell.[Coming a step or two forward] Well, Betty, you see we managed to get them all here.
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Back of the table below the piano, and at Mrs. Ritter’s left] Here, try and drink this, Paula. [Mrs. Ritter takes the water and tries to drink it; and Mrs. Pampinelli leans solicitously over her. There is a pause.]
Mrs. Fell.[Coming anxiously down at Mrs. Ritter’s left] What’s the matter?—[She looks at Mrs. Pampinelli.] Is Paula sick?
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Straightening up, and very imperiously] Thecritic—has been giving his impressions of our play.
Mrs. Fell.Who? [She turns towards Ritter.] This critic here, you mean? [She indicates Ritter and then looks at Mrs. Pampinelli. Mrs. Pampinelli inclines her head, with the suggestion of a derisive smile, and passes up to the center-door. Mrs. Fell crossesquickly towards Ritter.] What have you been saying, Frederick Ritter?—Huh?
Mrs. Ritter.[Laying the glass of water down on the table] Oh, what does it matter, Nelly, what he’s been saying!
Mrs. Fell.[Turning sharply to Mrs. Ritter] What?
Mrs. Ritter.[Trying not to cry] I say—I say [She bursts into tears.] I say what does it matter what he’s been saying!
Mrs. Fell.It doesn’t matter in the least, as far as I’m concerned—[Mrs. Pampinelli turns at the center-door and comes forward slowly in the middle of the room.] there’s only one thing hecouldsay, if he told the truth.
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Laying her hand on Mrs. Fell’s left arm] Eleanor, dear child,—husbands are not always particular about telling the truth—where the abilities of their wives are concerned. IfIhad listened to the promptings of my own soul, instead of to my husband, when I was a younger woman, I should in all probability be one of the leading figures in the American Theatre today. But I was fool enough, like a lot of other women, to believe that my husband had my welfare at heart,—when the fact of the matter was, as I see it now, when it’s too late,—he was simply jealous of my artistic promise. [The cuckoo-clock strikes the midnight hour. Ritter turns and looks up at it, then glances at Mrs. Pampinelli. Sheis looking up at the clock distrustfully. Mrs. Fell raises her eyes discreetly to it, then drops them to the floor.] Why, the night I played Hazel Kirke, I had my best friends in tears: yet, when I returned from the hall, and the entire town of Cohoes ringing with my name,—my husband had the effrontery to tell me that I was so terrific he was obliged to leave the hall before the end of the first act. So,—[She turns to Mrs. Ritter.] if this gentleman here has set himself up as your critic, Paula,—remembermystory,—the actress without honor in her own house. [She sweeps across below the piano to the window.] Is my car out here, Nelly?
Mrs. Fell.[Moving over a bit towards Mrs. Ritter] Yes, it’s there. I told Matthew he needn’t bother coming back for me, that you’d take me home. [Mrs. Ritter begins to cry softly, and Mrs. Fell steps to her left and puts her hand on her shoulder.] Don’t do that, Paula. [She turns sharply and goes towards Ritter.] What was the matter with that performance, Frederick Ritter?
Ritter.[Over at the left, below the mantelpiece] Why, they didn’t even know their lines!
Mrs. Ritter.[Straightening up abruptly and looking at him, reproachfully] Oh!
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Turning sharply from the window] That is a falsehood! They ran over every line last night, right here in this room,—and they knew—practically all of them.
Ritter.What good was that, if they couldn’t remember them on the stage.
Mrs. RitterandMrs. Pampinelli, together.
Mrs. Ritter.[To Ritter] Icouldremember them on the stage! [Turning to Mrs. Pampinelli] I never missedoneline!Mrs. Pampinelli.[To Ritter] Theycouldremember them on the stage!
Mrs. Ritter.[To Ritter] Icouldremember them on the stage! [Turning to Mrs. Pampinelli] I never missedoneline!
Mrs. Pampinelli.[To Ritter] Theycouldremember them on the stage!
Mrs. Pampinelli.[To Mrs. Ritter] Not a line.
Ritter.She and that other woman sat there blinking at the audience like a couple of sparrow-hawks.
Mrs. Pampinelli.They did nothing of the kind.
Mrs. Fell.Of course they didn’t!
Ritter.[Speaking directly to Mrs. Fell] How do you know?Youweren’t out there.
Mrs. Fell.I could see them through the scenery, couldn’t I? And they didn’t look anythinglikea couple of sparrow-hawks,—as you say.
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Contemptuously] Well, as I have never seen a couple of sparrow-hawks, I cannot appreciate the comparison.
Ritter.Well, you’d have seen a couple tonight, if you’d been with me.
Mrs. Ritter.Oh, don’t argue with him, Betty! He’s only trying to be smart.
Ritter.Why didn’t one of themsaysomething?
Mrs. Pampinelli.What could they have said?
Ritter.Why, any commonplace! It’d have beenbetter than just sitting there blinking. [Mrs. Ritter weeps.]
Mrs. Pampinelli.One can’t be commonplace in high comedy.
Ritter.Was that what it was?
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Bitterly] What did youthinkit was?
Ritter.[Turning and going up to the center-door]Youtell her, Nelly; I haven’t got the heart.
Mrs. Fell.[Moving a little towards the right] You bold thing. [Nelly is wearing the gown she wore in the preceding act, and a heavy cloak of old-rose-colored velvet. She lays her hand on Mrs. Ritter’s left shoulder.] Don’t let him upset you this way, Paula. [There is a little pause. Ritter turns at the center-door and comes forward again at the left.]
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Picking up her fan from the piano] I supposeyouwould have eclipsed Edwin Booth, ifyouhad been up there.
Ritter.Well, I’d have known better than to sit there blinking at the audience.
Mrs. Ritter.[Turning sharply to him] I didn’tblinkat the audience.
Mrs. Fell.Don’t answer him, honey.
Mrs. Pampinelli.What could they have done under the circumstances?
Ritter.Why, they could have covered it up!—if they’d had any brains.
Mrs. Pampinelli.Covered it up withwhat?
Ritter.Why, with anything! Impromptu conversation! [Mrs. Fell looks at Mrs. Pampinelli and smiles pityingly.]
Mrs. Pampinelli.And have the audiencelaughat them?
Ritter.They laughed anyhow, didn’t they?
Mrs. Fell.[Taking a step or two towards him] That was not their fault!
Ritter.[To Nelly] Whose faultwas it?
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Imperiously, and moving over to a point above the table at which Mrs. Ritter is sitting] It was Mr. Spindler’s fault.
Ritter.Mr. Spindler.
Mrs. Pampinelli.He promised to attend to the various properties and he didnotattend to them.—There was supposed to be a pen and ink on the desk for Mrs. Rush to leave a note for Doctor Arlington;—and when Paula sat down to write the note, there was no pen—and no ink. So she simply had to go on sitting there until Mr. Spearing went off and got them.
Ritter.I thought he’d left town.
Mrs. Fell.Oh, he wasn’t gone so very long, Frederick Ritter!
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Bitterly, to Mrs. Fell] Not five minutes.
Ritter.I thought the show’ud be over before he’d get back.
Mrs. Pampinelli.The door wouldn’t open whenhe attempted to go back, so he was obliged to go around to the other side. [She illustrates the circumstance by waving her fan in a circular gesture about the table. Ritter bursts out laughing. Nelly glares at him, then looks to Mrs. Pampinelli, who, with a deadly, level look, turns and moves haughtily up towards the center-door.]
Ritter.What happened to the skinny guy’s mustache, that it kept falling off every other line?
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Turning to him, up near the center-door] It only fell off twice, don’t exaggerate. [Ritter laughs again.]
Mrs. Fell.You bold thing!
Ritter.How many times was itsupposedto fall off?
Mrs. Pampinelli.Well, what if it fell off a dozen times,—everybody knew it wasn’t real! [He roars.]
Mrs. Fell.It’s a lucky thing for you, Frederick Ritter, that you’re notmyhusband!
Ritter.[Quietly] That goes both ways, Nelly.
Mrs. Fell.[Moving across towards him] Well,—when you do something that you’ll get so many flowers that my limousine will have to make three trips to get them to the various hospitals,—we may pay more attention to what you have to say. [She turns away and moves back towards the center of the room, where Mrs. Pampinelli is just moving forward from the center-door.]
Ritter.I suppose most of the audience have gonewith the flowers, haven’t they? [Nelly whirls round to retort, but Mrs. Pampinelli lays a restraining hand upon her right arm.]
Mrs. Pampinelli.[With immortal authority] Don’t answer him, Eleanor—“Envy loves a lofty mark.” The next time we have a part that calls for a very limited intelligence, we’ll engage Mr. Ritter for it. [She moves a little down to the right towards Mrs. Ritter.]
Mrs. Fell.[Looking at Ritter] Now!
Ritter.[Casually] Well, if you do, he’ll know how to walk across the stage without tripping every other step.
Mrs. Fell.Who tripped every other step?
Ritter.[Indicating his wife] The weeping-willow there. [Mrs. Ritter begins to weep afresh.]
Mrs. Fell.It’s a wonder to me you’re not afraid to lie so!
Ritter.She tripped when she first came through the door! I was looking right at her.
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Turning to him] She didn’tfall, did she?
Ritter.No, but it looked for a while there as though she were going to. [Mrs. Ritter’s weeping becomes audible again.] I very nearly had heart failure.
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Laying her hand on Paula’s shoulder] Don’t mind him, Paula.
Ritter.She tripped when she cameonthe stage,she tripped when she wentoff, and she tripped over the rug when she went over to the desk!
Mrs. Pampinelli.[With measured finality] She didn’t trip any oftener than anybody else. [He laughs.]
Mrs. Fell.[Directly to Ritter] No, nor half so often as some of the others,—[Turning towards Mrs. Pampinelli] now that you speak of it! [She turns and goes up to the hallway.]
Mrs. Pampinelli.I will admit that Mr. Hossefrosse is a bit unsteady,—but that is due to his weak ankles.
Ritter.What was the star’s unsteadiness due to?
Mrs. Ritter.The rugs!
Ritter.[Looking at her keenly] What?
Mrs. RitterandMrs. Pampinelli, together.
Mrs. Ritter.The rugs.Mrs. Pampinelli.[Moving to the center of the room] The rugs!
Mrs. Ritter.The rugs.
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Moving to the center of the room] The rugs!
Mrs. Pampinelli.Those funny rugs—that they have down there. We didn’t use them at the rehearsals,—and, naturally, when it came to the performance,—Paula wasn’t accustomed to them.
Ritter.She was accustomed to rugs at home, wasn’t she?
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Tersely] Well, she wasn’t at home on the stage.
Ritter.[With a gesture of complete acquiesence, and moving up towards the center-door] That’s my argument in a nutshell. [Mrs. Pampinelli standsfrozen in the middle of the room, with an expression very much as though she were trying mentally to assassinate him. He comes back down again at the left, to his former position.] Why, I couldn’t heartwo-thirdsof what she said.
Mrs. Pampinelli.Well, evidently there were many people there whocouldhear what she said, for they laughed at all her points. [She turns and goes to the piano, where she picks up several roses. Mrs. Fell comes forward through the center-door and down towards the piano.]
Ritter.I wanted to laugh, too, but I was afraid somebody’d turn around andseeme.
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Turning to Mrs. Ritter] Are you ready, Nelly?
Mrs. Fell.Yes, I’m ready.
Mrs. Ritter.Are you going, Betty?
Mrs. Pampinelli.Yes, I must, darling, it’s getting late. [She places her hand on Mrs. Ritter s shoulder.] Good night, dear. [She passes up towards the center-door.]
Mrs. Ritter.Good night, Betty.
Mrs. Fell.[Laying her hand on Mrs. Ritter’s shoulder] Good night, Paula child.
Mrs. Ritter.Good night, Nelly. [Nelly follows Mrs. Pampinelli.]
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Stopping in the center-door and turning to Ritter] Perhaps, at ournextperformance,—Mr. Ritter will favor us with the benefit ofsome of his suggestions. [She regards him with a touch of lofty amusement. He turns his head towards her and looks at her with a kind of mischievous squint.]
Ritter.[Quite pleasantly] There aren’t going to be any more performances, Mrs. Pampinelli, as far as anybody inthishouse is concerned.
Mrs. Pampinelli.[After a steady pause] No? [He inclines his head in quiet emphasis.]
Ritter.Not until there’s a change in the management. [There is another taut pause.]
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Coldly] Really? [He inclines his head again.] Then, I’m afraid we sha’n’t have you with us, Mr. Ritter.
Ritter.[Smiling] I know very well you won’t havemewith you. And as far as Mrs. Ritter’s concerned,—she’s got a very good home here—and I love her; and any time she feels any dramatic instinct coming on, there’s a very nice roomy attic upstairs, and she can go up there and lock the door, and nobody’ll ever see or hear her. But if she ever gets mixed up again in anything like that atrocity I saw tonight,—I’m through. [He speaks the last words with quiet definiteness, and turns towards the door at the left.] And she’ll get killed in the bargain. [He hits the door open with the palm of his hand and goes out. There is a slight pause: then Nelly Fell crosses quickly towards the mantelpiece, addressing Ritter as she goes.]
Mrs. Fell.Why, Fred Ritter!—I’ve heard yousay yourself that you were infavorof a Little Theatre in this city!
Ritter.[Coming in again through the door at the left, carrying his overcoat, derby and scarf] So I am! I say so again. [He stops inside the door.] But in the light of that cataclysm tonight, you’ll pardon me if I add, that I do not see the connection.
Mrs. Pampinelli.[Stepping forward to the middle of the room and challenging him with a lift of her head and brows] What did youexpecttosee, Mr. Ritter,—a finished performance from a group of comparative amateurs?
Ritter.I expected to see something almost as bad as what I saw;—that’s the reason Ifaintedlast night and was unconscious for twenty-four hours at the prospect of it. [He turns to Mrs. Fell and speaks quite colloquially.] And that’s the first time in my life I’ve ever fainted. [Nelly just gives him a look and turns her head away.]
Mrs. Ritter.Don’t mind him, Betty,—he’s only trying to show off.
Mrs. Pampinelli.[With bitter amusement] No, but I’m a bitcurious—to know justhowMr. Ritter would expect toaccomplishthe establishment of a Little Theatre here, unless through the medium of such performances as this one this evening. How else is our local talent to be discovered—or developed?
Ritter.Well, I’m equally curious, Mrs. Pampinelli,as to your exactqualifications—as a discoverer or developer of talent for the theatre.
Mrs. Pampinelli.That is a very familiar attitude. People whodothings—are constantly having their ability to do them called into question. [She moves a step further forward and towards Mrs. Ritter.]
Ritter.I’m afraid that’s something you’ve read somewhere. [She glares at him.]
Mrs. Pampinelli.The theatre is a matter of instinct.
Ritter.The theatre is a matter of qualifications,—the same as any other profession; and it will only bethroughthose particular qualifications that your Little Theatre will ever be brought about. [He crosses over in front of Mrs. Fell and up towards the center-door.]
Mrs. Pampinelli.Well, perhaps you will come to the rescue;—you seem so familiar with the various necessities of the Little Theatre. [He stops, just to the left of the center-door, and looks at Mrs. Pampinelli straight.]
Ritter.[Quietly] I am also familiar, Mrs. Pampinelli, with a little remark that Mr. Napoleon made on one occasion, a long time ago;—about the immorality of assuming a position for which one is unqualified. [There is a pause,—he settles his coat on his arm, then moves slowly out through the center-door into the hallway: while Mrs. Pampinelli, with an expressionof eternal exclusion, moves over between the piano and the table towards the window.]
Mrs. Ritter.[Turning] Fred Ritter, where are you going?
Ritter.[Lighting his cigar in the hallway, just outside the center-door] I haven’t the faintest idea. But I shouldn’t be surprised if I’d go on the stage.
Mrs. Fell.[Standing back of the arm-chair at the left] One star is enough in the family.
Ritter.[Bowing very graciously to her] Applause—[She turns away and looks straight ahead. Then Ritter bows towards Mrs. Pampinelli.] and great laughter—[Mrs. Pampinelli isn’t looking at him, but she knows that that is meant for her, so she simply moves another step or two towards the window. Mrs. Ritter turns to see what Ritter is doing. He takes a step and leans forward towards her, speaking rather confidentially.] followed by booing. [She turns back again and starts to cry, while he continues out into the right hallway and up the stairs. As he mounts the stairs, he holds aloft his lighted cigar, after the fashion of a zealous bearer of the torch.]