The Project Gutenberg eBook ofThe True WomanThis ebook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this ebook or online atwww.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this eBook.Title: The True WomanAuthor: Justin D. FultonRelease date: June 30, 2004 [eBook #12790]Most recently updated: December 15, 2020Language: EnglishCredits: E-text prepared by the Project Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading Team*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE TRUE WOMAN ***
This ebook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this ebook or online atwww.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this eBook.
Title: The True WomanAuthor: Justin D. FultonRelease date: June 30, 2004 [eBook #12790]Most recently updated: December 15, 2020Language: EnglishCredits: E-text prepared by the Project Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading Team
Title: The True Woman
Author: Justin D. Fulton
Author: Justin D. Fulton
Release date: June 30, 2004 [eBook #12790]Most recently updated: December 15, 2020
Language: English
Credits: E-text prepared by the Project Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading Team
*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE TRUE WOMAN ***
E-text prepared by the Project Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading
Team
This book grew. Its history is very brief. The lecture entitled "WomanversusBallot," while well received by the majority, has met with a strong opposition from those who do not believe in the position assigned to Woman in the Word of God. This turned the attention of the author to the scriptural argument more and more, and resulted in producing the impression that the effort to secure the ballot for woman found its origin in infidelity to the Word of God and in infidelity to woman.
In "Woman as God made Her" we saw Eve as she was brought to Adam, and familiarized ourselves with the purposes He had in her creation, which were chiefly embodied in the one word "Helpmeet." In "Woman as a Tempter" we saw theidealwoman despoiled of her glory, and influencing the world to turn from the worship of the Creator to that of the creature. For ages woman suffered the consequences of sin. In Eve she lost her recognition; through Christ she regained it. The study of the Bible has convinced the writer that the purpose of God, in creating woman, still lives, and is to find its complete fulfilment under the New Dispensation. We have seen that Christ—the embodiment of all manly properties—turned his face towards and lavished his blessings upon womanly characteristics, such as meekness, purity, love, and humility, and that, because of His influence, woman is invited to take her place in the church on an equality with man, to help on the cause of truth by an illustration of those virtues which received the glory shed upon them by the life of the Son of Man and the Son of God.
In the work devolving upon mankind, woman has a distinct mission to fulfil. Society owes to her love, honor, and protection. Every right, social and religious, should be guarded. Associations calculated to secure for her every privilege enjoyed by man, should be formed and supported. Above all else, efforts should be made to lead her to recognize in Christ her Saviour, for Christ in woman is her hope of glory, her joy and strength. Said Florence Nightingale,—
"I would say to all women, Look upon your work, whether it be an accustomed or unaccustomed work, as upon a trust confided to you. This will keep you alike from discouragement and from presumption, from idleness and from overtaxing of yourselves. Where God leads the way, he has bound himself to help youto go the way. I would say to all young ladies who are called to any peculiar vocation, Qualify yourselves for it, as man does for his work. Don't think you can undertake it otherwise.
"And again, if you are called to do a man's work, do not exact a woman's privileges—the privileges of inaccuracy, of weakness, of the muddle-head. Submit yourselves to the rules of business, as men do, by which alone you can make God's business succeed. For he has never said that he will give his blessing to sketchy, unfinished work. And I would especially guard young ladies from fancying themselves like Lady Superiors, with an obsequious following of disciples, if they undertake any great work. I would only say, Work, work, in silence at first, in silence for years. It will not be time wasted. And it is very certain that without it you will be no worker—you will not produce one 'perfect work,' but only a botch, in the service of God."
In the above spirit, and with a kindred desire, this volume was written. For good or ill, for better or worse, the book is sent forth in the hope that it may recall attention to the Divine IDEAL for Woman, and aid in inducing man, to prize her as the first gift of God to him, designed "as a helpmeet for him."
WOMAN AS GOD MADE HERMan's Faith in a Helper suited to himWoman Man's ComplementWhat Man desires to have lovedWoman is God's Gift to ManWhat the Fact implies:—1. The Father's Right to give away the Child2. The Purpose for which God created her
WOMAN A HELPMEETMan's Longing for CompanionshipMeaning of the Word WomanWoman dislikes to give a Reason for her FaithRequisites to CompanionshipCount Zinzendorf's Tribute to his WifeIrving's Description of a WifeThe Advantages derived from CultureMrs. Thomas Carlyle and othersWhy the Ballot injures Woman
WOMAN AS A TEMPTERSatan undermines Woman's Confidence in GodSatan raises SuspicionRitualism the OutgrowthMother Superior and Sisters of CharitySatan employs MysterySpiritualismSatan's Influence deceived WomanThe Girl of the PeriodWoman's Peril and her HopeThe Effects of SinCharacteristics of Woman's Power as a TempterInfluence of Married WomenHow Rome uses WomanThe Remedy
THE GLORY OF MOTHERHOODWoman's Hope of TriumphMan's Destiny and MissionWoman ignored in EveWoman recognized in MaryWoman in Nestoria and the EastTrials of MotherhoodThe Glory of Motherhood
MARIOLATRY NOT OF CHRISTThe Worship of the Virgin MaryWoman's Position previous to the AdventThe Place she fills in the Scheme of RedemptionThe Influences set in Motion by the Life of ChristChrist's personal Relations to Mary reviewedA Lesson for WomanPeril arising from Perversions of TruthMary's Glory
WOMAN'S WORK AND WOMAN'S MISSIONWoman's Work and Mission go hand in handLove lightens LaborWoman's Work a Work of CharityCause of Trouble with ServantsEducation must fit Woman for the HomeWoman's Mission inferred from the Wants of ManA proper Conception of the Truth a Help to WomanWoman's Mission social as well as domesticWoman's Help needed in the Cause of ReformWoman needs HelpA Mother's Power—her Mission religiousThe Value of her SympathyWoman's Power a Glory and a Joy
WOMAN vs. BALLOT,Three Facts which stand in the Way of Woman's beinghelped by the Ballot—God, Nature, and CommonSenseThe Scriptural ArgumentGod's Care for WomanHer Condition in other CountriesAn Illustration of Woman's NatureTeachings of NatureTeachings of Common SenseGail Hamilton vs. BallotWoman not a LawmakerEducation essential for herWoman not in Captivity
The biography of our first parents, as God made them, and described them, before sin ruined them, is very brief and truly suggestive. It is as follows:—
"And Jehovah God created the man in his image; in the image of God created he him; a male and a female created he them. And God blessed them; and God said to them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it, and rule over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the heavens, and over every living thing that moves on the earth. And God said, Behold, I have given to you every herb scattering seed, which is on the face of all the earth, and every tree, in which is the fruit of a tree scattering seed, to you it shall be given."—Gen. i. 27-30.
"And Jehovah God formed the man of the dust of the ground, and he breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living soul. And Jehovah God planted a garden in Eden, on the east, and there he put the man whom he formed, … to till it and to keep it. And God commanded the man, saying, Of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat. But of the tree of knowledge of good and evil thou shalt not eat of it, for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die. And God said, It is not good that the man should be alone. I will make for him a helper, suited to him. And God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. And of this rib which he took from the man, Jehovah God formed a woman, and brought her to the man. And the man said, This now is bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh. This shall be called Woman, because from man was she taken. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed."—Gen, ii. 7, 8, 15-18, 21-25.
Brief as are these utterances, and familiar as is this language, it is interesting to notice that God has crowded into them every essential fact concerning the origin of woman, the purpose of her creation, and the sphere marked out for her by the Creator's hand.
The simple outline of the story is given us, yet how wonderful is the picture! In the first chapter the origin of man is proclaimed, and his work, "to fill earth and subdue it," is placed before him. In the second chapter, the relation of the sexes is given, and the nature of marriage is explained. What arrests the attention most surely is the resemblance that exists between the experience of our first parents and of their descendants, or between Adam and Eve and ourselves. The "It is not good for man to be alone," spoken by God in Eden, embodies a truth which has lived with the ages, and sets forth an experience felt by every son of Adam. The words "I will make for him a helper suited to him," is man's authority for the faith, that somewhere on the earth God has made a helper suited to him, whom he will recognize, and who will return the recognition. For in all true marriages, now as in Eden, the man and woman do not deliberately seek, but are brought to one another. Happy those who afterwards can recognize that the hand which led his Eve to Adam was that of an invisible God. Man knows that it is not good for him to be alone. Separated from woman's influence, man is narrow, churlish, brutal. Woman is a helper suited to him. With her help he reaches a loftier stature; for love is the very heart of life, the pivot upon which its whole machinery turns, without which no human existence can be complete, and with which it becomes noble and self-sacrificing.
Woman's origin is thus declared:—
"And Jehovah God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. And of the rib which he took from the man God formed a woman, and brought her to the man. And the man said, This now is bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh. This shall be called Woman, because from man was she taken. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they shall be one flesh."[A]Woman was taken out of man. It is man's nature to seek to get her back. He feels that a part ofhimis away from him, until he obtains her. Long years before he sees the woman whom he feels God designed to be his wife, if he be a Christian, believing that she is on the earth, he prays for her weal.
[Footnote A: Gen. ii. 21-24.]
"Taken out of man!" How significant these words! Man, without woman, wants completeness—physically, mentally, and spiritually. First, physically. The fact is noticeable that short men often marry tall women, and tall men marry short women. Nervous men marry women who are opposites to them in temperament. This is not a happen so, for that which so often to the unreflecting mind seems unnatural and absurd, to the thinking soul appears as an evidence of God's provident care. Second, mentally. Man desires in his wife that which he lacks. A bookish man seldom desires a wife devoted to the same branch of literature, unless she works as a helpmeet. In taste and in sentiment there must be harmony without rivalry. They must bring products to the common garner, gathered from varying pursuits and from different fields of thought. In music the same law rules. Man, from his very nature, finds in woman a helper in song. Their voices blend in harmony, and give volume, symphony, and variety to the melody produced. Jenny Lind married her assistant, because in sympathy they were one. He was essential to her womanly strength, and without her, he was a mere cipher in the musical world. Together they were a power, felt and acknowledged.
A man full of thought and of genius requires for a wife, not only one who can understand his moods and enjoy his creations, but one who is content to take care of the home, and, perhaps, to manage the business affairs; while many a woman of genius and ability links her fortunes with a plain and appreciative husband, who gladly affords her every means in his power to work in her special sphere. When the wife refuses to act thus wifely, because of her talent, the happiness of the home is imperilled, and the children suffer quite as much, comparatively, as they do in those manufacturing neighborhoods where the wife forsakes the home for the shop, and gives up the vocation of woman to do the work which belongs to man. God made them male and female. He fitted each for separate duties, not for the same duties. Each fills a sphere when each discharges the duties enjoined upon them by their Creator and by society. Wonderful women there are; few of them care to duplicate their power. They prefer to obtain by marriage that which they have not, and which must be supplied by material from without. Homely people oftentimes find beautiful ones to mate them. The rugged seeks the weak. The nervous, the lymphatic. Counterpart that which makes itself complete. This tendency to assimilate is often carried to extremes, because all naturally love that which they possess, and come to prize highly those who regard it with favor. Hence, poor men sometimes marry rich wives, and seldom fail to give something in return. The story is familiar of the two foppish young men who were said to have met at a noted hotel or on change, when one accosted the other by the question, "Who did you marry?" "Ah," said he, "I married fifty thousand dollars. I forget her other name." Such men, however, are exceptions to the rule. There are brainless creatures called men, who will marry a pretty face, though the heart and brain be uncultured, provided there be associated with her sufficient of this world's goods to gratify a mercenary ambition; but the majority, both of men and women, wisely prefer to marry money in a partner rather than money with a partner. The world has a profound contempt for shallow, fussy, empty people, no matter what positions they may occupy.
All sympathize with the rebuke administered to a so-called lady of quality by a Quaker gentleman, who occupied a seat near her in a public coach. She wore an elegant lace shawl, and was dressed to the top of the fashion, but was suffering from the cold. Shivering and shaking, she inquired, "What shall I do to get warm?" "Thee had better put on another breastpin," answered old Broadbrim. The rebuke was timely. Woman degrades herself when she surrenders to fashion that which helps the woman, and which aids her in securing the confidence, the friendship, the respect, and admiration of sensible men.
The truth embodied in the words, "This shall be called Woman, becausefrom man was she taken" sheds light upon many a mysterious chapter in life, reconciles the union of contraries in accordance with the law of God, and fills wide realms of life with the radiance of hope, which otherwise would remain mantled in perpetual gloom. If we depended upon those who are like ourselves to sympathize with us, and gird us with strength, we should utterly fail. Oaks cannot lend support to oaks. The vine can do this for the oak, and the oak can give support to the vine; but an oak cannot give strength to its kindred while fulfilling the functions of its life. The same law rules in the mental world. Genius seldom applauds genius, working in its own realm. Very likely it loathes it. The tributes paid to labor are given by the soft-handed rather than by the hard-handed sons of toil. This principle lies back of the appreciation, the commendation, and the support rendered by the different classes of a community to each other.
The God-given and Christ-restored thought of equality between the sexes is seen in the household partnership, where the woman looks for a "smart, but kind" husband, the man for a "capable, sweet-tempered" wife. The man furnishes the house, the woman regulates it. Their relation is one of mutual esteem, mutual dependence. Their talk is of business; their affection shows itself by practical kindness. They know that life goes more smoothly and cheerfully to each for the other's aid; they are grateful and content. The wife praises her husband as a "good provider;" the husband, in return, compliments her as a capital housekeeper. This relation is good as far as it goes; but the heart of the man or woman is unsatisfied, if to household partnership intellectual companionship be not added.
Men can hire their houses kept. Love cannot be purchased. Soul communion is the gift of God. It is very often enjoyed on earth. Men engaged in public life, literary men and artists, have often found in their wives companions and confidants in thought, no less than in feeling. And as the intellectual development of woman has spread wider and risen higher, they have, not unfrequently, shared the same employments.
Thirdly, spiritual. The highest grade of marriage union is the spiritual, which may be expressed as a pilgrimage towards a common shrine.
There is something in every man which he feels to be the essential thing about him. This it is which he desires to have loved. Neglect what else you choose, you must not neglect that. It is the spiritual part of man,—the God-given characteristic which longs for sympathy. Men feel that this want has been met when they say, "Such a one understands me, knows me, sees me, is in sympathy with me." Such moments are to all of priceless value. Whoever meets this want is a boon from God. No matter what the complexion, nor how the features seem: soul meets soul. The heart feels a new life. The union is formed.Call it affinity, or what you will, they love in one another the future good which they aid one another to unfold. This includes home sympathies and household wisdom. Such fellowship makes of home a joy, and of toil a delight. When first the joy is reached, a foretaste of heaven is enjoyed. "For it is the one rift of heaven which makes all heaven appear possible; the ecstasy of hope and faith, out of which grows the love which is our strongest mortal instinct and intimation of immortality."
Women are as conscious of this feeling as are men. There are times when women meet their counterpart. The nature they long for and seek after with unutterable longing, is before them. Finding it, they recognize their lord, under whose protection they take shelter, and to whose rule they submit, because of love which masters and controls them. The heart cries out for a person—not for things. Spirit desires spirit; soul yearns for soul. It is the genius of woman to be electrical in movement, intuitive in penetration, and spiritual in tendency. She excels not so easily in classification or recreation as in an instinctive seizure of causes, and a simple breathing out of what she receives, that has the singleness of life, rather than the selecting and energizing of art. More native is it to her to be the living model of the artist, than to set apart from herself any one form in objective reality. More native to inspire and receive the poem than to create it. In so far as soul is in her completely developed, all soul is the same; but in so far as it is modified in her as woman, it flows, it breathes, it sings, rather than deposits soil, or furnishes work; and that which is especially feminine, flushes in blossom the face of the earth, and pervades, like air and water, all this seeming solid globe, daily renewing and purifying its life. Such is the especial feminine element which man desires as a helper, and which is suited to him, and which compels him to exclaim, "O, my God, give it to mefor mine!"
It is said, "A woman will sometimes idealize a very inferior man, until her love for him exalts him into something better than he originally was, and her into little short of an angel; but a man almost invariably drops to the level of the woman he is in love with. He cannot raise her; but she can almost unlimitedly deteriorate him." This was true of Adam. Eve, sinning, brought him to her level. Why this should be, Heaven knows; but so it constantly is. We have but to look around us, with ordinary observation, in order to see that a man's destiny, more than even a woman's, depends far less upon the good or ill fortune of his wooing than upon the sort of woman with whom he falls in love.
Before a man loves, he is under obligations to himself, to his future, and to the world, to ask himself, Is this woman suited to me? Will she help me to fulfil my mission? Does she supply my want? Can I recognize her as God's gift to me? If Yes, then he is right in loving; for
"He either fears his fate too much,Or his deserts are small,Who dares not put it to the touch,And win or lose it all."
A woman, writing of woman, has truly said, "There are but two ways open to any woman. If she loves a man, and he does not love her, to give him up may be a horrible pang and loss; but it cannot be termed a sacrifice: she resigns what she never had. But if he does love her, and she knows it, and if she loves him, she has a right, in spite of the whole world, to hold to him till death do them part. She is bound to marry him, though twenty other women loved him, and broke their hearts in loving him. He is not theirs, but hers; and to have her for his wife is his right and her duty." "And in this world are so many contradictory views of duty and exaggerated notions of light, so many false sacrifices and remunerations, weak even to wickedness, that it is but fair sometimes to uphold the right of love,—love sole, absolute, and paramount,—firmly holding its own, and submitting to nothing and no one, except the laws of God and righteousness." Well and truthfully spoken. Lift up this principle, and behold how it showers benedictions upon all classes and upon all men.
Much is said against amalgamation, as though it were a crime. There is no crime in it or about it. There is much of prejudice, but no crime. Soul marries soul. If a white man loves the soul of a black woman, there is no law in God's code forbidding the union. God made of one blood all nations of men to dwell on all the face of the earth. Complexions may differ, owing to climate, or temperament, but the blood is the same. The race has a common Father in God.
In this intermingling of races, coming to this land from all climes, we perceive the seedling of a glorious hope. The future American is to be the product of this blending of the distinctive features of all the various nations of earth.
Against this result there is an immense amount of prejudice, born of slavery; but in Europe it does not exist, nor is it in fact so universal in this land as many suppose. Many a white man has found his helpmeet in a black woman, and many more will find helpmeets from the same source.
2. "Woman was taken out of man." There is significance in the locality from which she was taken. Not from the superior part, that she might think herself superior to man, or endowed with the right to rule him. Her sin consisted in her failing to recognize the position assigned. She was created an associate and an equal, and acted independently, and as an adviser. She took advantage of her position as wife, and became an ally of Satan.
She was not taken from an inferior portion of his body, that he might think her inferior to himself, and to be trampled on by him, but out of his side,—from his rib,—that she might appear to be equal to him; and from a part near his heart, and under his arm, to show that she should be affectionately loved by him, and be always under his care and protection.
Wherever man has failed to recognize this truth society has gone back to barbarism, and the very conception of a home has been banished from the mind. In the East man rules woman as lord. She is his slave; and in the Arabic language there is no word meaning "home." Christian civilization lifts woman up, and thrones her in the heart of ahome.
She was made from "bone and flesh,"—quickened dust,—and so in her make and constitution she is of superior quality and of finer mould.
The Hebrew word translated "made," meansbuilt. From the rib God built this woman. How instructive the fact! Woman added to man is the foundation of the home or family. She is built out of man. Man is necessary to her development. A man can continue the work begun by God. He can build up a woman; and as he builds her up he builds up himself. She is also a builder. She builds up a home, or degrades it. If woman is honored in a home, she makes it honorable.
At the outset she was man's equal: perhaps she may have thought herself to be superior to him—more refined, of better material. She forgot her place, and ignored her sphere, and lost all. She was not created as things were, out of nothing. She was meant to be something better than athing; and she must be something better than a thing, or she is nothing. She was not formed as Adam was, out of the dust of the earth. Had she been, perhaps she would not have disliked dust so terribly. She is a part of man's life. This describes her mission. The life of a woman who does not care to be a man's toy or ornament, but desires rather to be his helpmeet,—supplying all he needs, as he supplies all she needs,—is but the continuance, the flowing out and flowing on of man's higher life, into the flowers of love, which decorate the home, and make that chosen retreat the very portals of heaven.
As man feels that in woman he finds the complement to himself, and almost his other self, woman finds in man the same complement to herself, and recognizes in him the ruler of her life, her friend, her lover; and happy is she if she finds in him her husband, who rightfully assumes his rights and his sovereignty.
3. "God brought her unto man." Woman is God's first gift to man. She must never occupy a second place. In the heart she holds a first place, or she holds none at all. The moment she holds a secondary place she is ruined. It is in her power to hold the first place. To do this, she must prize it; make sacrifices to keep it; almost, at times, deny herself, and bear a cross, to hold on to it. Yet it is hers, and God will see to it that she maintains her right.
"God brought her." Every husband in this world should feel that his wife is God's gift to him, and it is his duty to study its characteristics, and minister to them. Every man can make the partner of his life a good wife, and can feel that she was God-given, and must be used in such a manner that when the day of reckoning comes, he can give a good account of the manner in which he has used this blessing. To go to the judgment, and meet a broken-hearted woman, over whom man has exercised tyranny, and to whom he has been a monster, until hope died, and the grave became a refuge, will not be a pleasant meeting.
In this bestowal of woman upon man, we recognize two facts.
1. The father's right to give away his child—a right which exerts its influence at the present time, and which every young man who seeks properly the hand of woman is compelled to recognize. In that act of Eden lie the rule and example to be followed by parents and children: the one to dispose of their children, and the other to have the consent of their parents in reaching conclusions upon which hinges the destiny of the individual for time, and perhaps for eternity. Happy the child that trusts a wise parent, and refuses to walk a path over which the shadow of parental disapproval rests! Happy the parent who finds pleasure in the fresh young love of the child, and watches the opening flower and the ripening fruit with pride and pleasure.
This giving away of the child requires the enjoyment of perfect confidence between father and daughter and mother and son.
God knew Eve, for he built her. He knew her heart, her mind, her aspiration. A parent knows something of the child; and well it is for both parent and child when this knowledge is perfect, and when the relation subsisting between parents and children is such that home is a place of consultation. A home without secrets, without closed doors, and locked drawers and sugar-boxes,—a home where thought is free, and mind is untrammelled, is the very gate of heaven.
There are homes where the children are excluded from counsel, from love, from plan, from association. Those children live in a world apart from their parents, and it will not be strange if they are swept out by the waves of evil to ruin.
There are homes where the father shuts himself away from the wife and children. To the children he is harsh, unsympathetic, and morose. Ah! there is sorrow in that house. The mother—God bless her!—has a hard time. She has to keep in with the father, and she will keep in with the children. In that bundle of life the tendrils of her nature are bound up. She fights a prolonged battle in regard to expenditure and education. Happiness only comes when the household is one, and the relations between father and children are perfect, as God designed them to be.
Again, God gives his sanction not only to the truth that man's wants can only be met by the gift of woman,—a fact which every man has felt, and which causes every man to feel that somewhere on earth his wife is living, who will recognize and welcome him to the bliss of love and to the joy of companionship,—but this additional truth is taught: Man has a right to marry. Love is no disgrace. It is the pretence of it, for base purposes, which is disgraceful. The nuptial vow was first whispered in the garden. God was sponsor, and all Eden witnesses. This bond of union was God's gift to the race. The curse did not touch it. The marriage vow and marriage rite, with the faith in woman as a helpmeet, have survived the fall, and are our joy and rejoicing at this time.
In conclusion, think of God's care for man, in providing woman as a blessing. There is no necessity for man's being alone. Some one waits to bless or has blessed him. Let us make more of our wives and sisters than ever before. Let us build them up in love and in those generous qualities which fit woman for her high destiny in this fallen world.
2. Think, woman, of your noble mission. You are to be a help to man. You are to help him morally and spiritually. For this God created you. For this he preserves you. "You are queens and bondmaids too, as royal when you serve as when you rule." Man must respect you, for when man loses his respect for woman he is lost. He goes down, down to irremediable ruin. With woman as God designed her, man gets much of Eden back, for in Christ she is reconciled to God. It is for man and woman to get back Eden. Christ came to be our common helper. He is woman's Saviour as well as man's, and offers to all that help which changes life's desert into a garden, and life's gloom into the brilliancy of an eternal day.
"Hail, woman! Hail, thou faithful wife and mother,The latest, choicest part of heaven's great plan.None fills thy peerless place at home, no otherHelpmeet is found for laboring, suffering man.Hail, thou home circle, where, at day's decline,Her moulding power, her radiant virtues shine!Not in the church to rule or teach, her place;Not in the mart of trade, or senate halls;Not the wild, festive scene is hers to grace;Not Fashion's altar her its victim calls;Not here her field of triumph; but aloneShe moves the queen of her own quiet home."
The purpose of God in the creation of woman was to provide man with a helpmeet. The language is unmistakable. "And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone. I will make for him a helper suited to him." Woman was made to be man's helpmeet in Eden; that purpose survives thefall. For right or wrong, for good or ill, her influence is felt. She lifts man up or drags him down. Scoff at it, oppose it, cast opprobrium upon this ancient utterance, the fact remains, woman is made for man. Helpmeet she was, helpmeet she must be, or leave her work undone, and suffer the blight that results from the lack of love. God placed man in the garden to keep it, and he placed woman there to fill the bower with love, and his home with joy.
The coming of Eve to Adam is a beautiful story. He had been taught to realize his need of her. It was a part of his constitution. The same is true now wherever woman is appreciated. The felt want is the recognition of the fact. A wife chosen by one's parents, not by himself, is devoid of all of those special characteristics which distinguish her where processes of love begin, go on, deepen and tighten, until the bond is woven and the union formed.
"Nothing so delights man as those graceful nets,Those thousand delicacies that daily flowFrom all her words and actions, mixed with loveAnd sweet compliance, which declare unfeignedUnion of mind, or in them both one soul."[A]
[Footnote A: Paradise Lost, Book VIII.]
The knowledge of congeniality of tastes can only be obtained by mutual acquaintance, and by a careful study. It is said nothing is so blind as love. Nothing is so foolish as a blind love. Man needs a helpmeet, and woman needs a man she can help. It is possible to know before marriage that the parties are able to fulfil this trust. If they cannot fulfil it, marriage is a sin, which brings forth continuous sorrow and discontent.
The purpose of God to provide a helpmeet was avowed, but Adam did not know the fact. Under the arch of God's promise we discover the working of God's providence. The Bible, if properly studied, is a more thrilling narrative than any novel, because in it we can behold the infinite God working with man and for man. "It is not good that man should be alone." This is the general proposition. As a counterpart we find man feeling that it was very sad to be alone. In his heart there is a want at work, making him ready for the blessing which God is preparing for him.
The want of the soul means a purpose on the part of God to supply it. This is true in regard to all that vitally interests man in this world. My want is the basis of my hope. God, who is above and around me, would not send forward the desire unless he had purposed to grant it.
Prayer stirring in the soul, is to man spiritually what a bill of goods preceding the payment is to a merchant. Do we long for salvation, for a revival, for any spiritual outpouring? have faith in God. There is a motive in it. Expect the blessing, and you will receive it.
"The Spirit itself," said Paul, "beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God; and if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint heirs with Christ, if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together." This is enjoyed despite the curse. "Jesus sent us the Comforter, who helpeth our infirmities, for we know not what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. And he that searcheth the hearts knoweth what is the mind of the spirit, because he maketh intercession for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are thus called according to his purpose." This fatherhood of God comes to us under all circumstances and in all conditions. In the home, in the heart with all its wails, in the battle, in the victory, on earth and in heaven. Notice how Adam was made ready for his helpmeet.
"And out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air, and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them; and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof. And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found a helpmeet for him."
Imagine Adam feeling this want of companionship as the beasts of earth in their pristine beauty pass before him. There are those who mate with a horse or a dog. Who make a pet of a brute, and, ignoring their higher relations, live for their lower nature. We know that animals can be brought to do almost anything but talk, and some birds have the gift of speech. It was doubtless true of Eden. The serpent's talking did not surprise Eve.
Perhaps Adam may have found animals that could have kept him company. Yet he could find none who could meet his want as a helpmeet. Milton has fancifully described Adam expressing his want to the Infinite. It grew upon him. Then he has pictured him asleep, and seeing, as in a trance, the rib, with cordial spirits warm, formed and fashioned with his hands, until
"Under his forming hands a creature grew,Manlike, but different sex, so lovely fairThat what seemed fair in all the world seemed nowMean, or in her summed up, in her contained,And in her looks, which from that time infusedSweetness into my heart unfelt before,And into all things from her air inspiredThe spirit of love and amorous delight."
Then she disappeared. The dream haunted him in his waking hours. In the gallery of the Louvre there is a picture of Henry IV becoming entranced by the picture of his future wife, and next to it is the picture of the proud man being married to the woman whose face in the picture had once captivated his fancy. Those pictures were the realization of the one described in Milton's verse. Adam saw in Eve the realization of his dream, and was happy when he welcomed to his embrace this first gift of God, which met his want and answered his prayer. God created man not only a social being but an intellectual being. A beast can mate with beasts. They do so. A distinguished writer says, "the family relation is almost universal among the higher classes of animals." Adam's immortal nature longed for a kindred spirit. One to commune with, one to love, one to guide, one to look at life from another standpoint, one whose opinions should be diverse, and yet alike in difference, one to help in all the affairs of life, not only for the propagation of the species, but to provide things useful and comfortable for him, and like himself in temper, in disposition, and destiny. One to whom God shall be a loving Father, and heaven a common home. One with whom soul can join with soul in worship and love. A kindred spirit. A spirit having a common love, a common purpose, a common aspiration, and a common interest.
This longing for companionship was the earliest recorded emotion of the soul. It comes earliest to us and stays longest. In childhood, very often, instinct and desire rule wisely, and matches formed in heaven are recognized in life's morning on earth far oftener than we are accustomed to think. This longing never ceases. The child wants companionship, and old age, shattered and broken, feels the need of this loving support which God provides in the opposite sex quite as much as does the youthful heart. Our perfect humanity is made up of the two, and is not complete without this union.
The most magnificent scenery is tame, unless you can point out its beauties to the one you love. The picture gallery is worthless, unless some other lip can press the goblet of your pleasure, and sip nectar from the flower of beauty which blossoms in your thought or imagination. It is not good for man to be alone, even in Eden. Eden is not Eden without its Eve. Before Eve came, Eden was the pastureland of beasts; after it, the place took on home-like properties, bowers of love were formed, and the place became the house of God, and the gate of heaven.
The characteristics of woman as a helpmeet deserve our notice.
1.Consider this word "Woman." Woman was the name given to our mother because she was taken out of man. The word itself meanspliant. In this definition we discover the first characteristic of a womanly nature. She is pliant. She adjusts herself to circumstances. She is adapted to meet man's wants, because she finds it in her nature to adapt herself to meet them.
It is gentlemanly to avow an opinion. We feel that it is womanly to waive one. We never think less of a woman for not forcing her opinions upon a company. We do not desire her to be without opinions, nor is it expected that she will desist from expressing an opinion, but if one must yield, it is womanly in woman to do so.
Indeed, oftentimes a woman of strong mental calibre, whose opinions are derived from thought and study, has built her husband up by permitting his expression to stand even though her own judgment might differ from him. If she be a true wife or sister, she will seek, in retirement, to correct an opinion which could not be avowed in public without weakening a husband's or a brother's influence. A woman that builds up another is herself a power and a praise.
The wordpliantdoes not demand an absence of quality. The Damascus blade is pliant; it can be bent but it is not easily broken, while its edge is the keenest and its strength is a marvel. So woman is not necessarily weak because she is pliant. She may be the very reverse, and yet be pliant. Oftentimes her power of control is the more potent because it is unseen and unostentatious. An opinion held, to be uttered in the moment of cool and calm reflection, may be more telling than if spoken while the storm of debate was raging. The still, small voice came after the lightning and the thunder and the earthquake, and God spake in it with power and effect. It is the quiet utterance in the home which is of marvellous power in the world. It is womanly to adorn rather than to plan.
She fits herself for companionship rather than for leadership. By her tact and by her very nature she is enabled to harmonize antagonistic elements, and promote concord, if she cannot secure union. Like the lily living in the water, she feeds on her native element, love. The lily, though it floats on the wave, opens wider its leaves to the rain and dew. So woman, though living on love, finds pleasure and rapture in fresh manifestations of love day by day. It is her nature to love. It is her life to be beloved.
2. Think of this other title,feminine. This word, in its meaning, furnishes the second characteristic. It pertains to woman, and denotes a soft, tender, and delicate nature. Effeminate means destitute of manly qualities.
A woman truly feminine is thus described: "No coarseness was mingled with her plainness of speech; no boisterousness with her zeal. Her feelings, her sensibilities, her tastes were all characterized by a gentleness and delicacy seldom surpassed. While her heroic daring and unconquerable energy excited admiration, her love of birds and flowers, and indeed of all that is beautiful in nature, made her seem almost childlike." This characteristic, so loved and admired, is woman's glory, and yet it is effeminate. Woman's mind is quicker, more flexible, more elastic than man's, though the brain, in weight, is much lighter. Man's brain weighs, on an average, three pounds and eight ounces. Woman's brain weighs, on an average, two pounds and four ounces. The female intellect is impregnated with the qualities of her sensitive nature. It acts rather through a channel of electricity than of reasoning. Its perceptions of truth come, as it were, by intuition. It is under the influence of the heart, that has deep and unfathomable wells of feeling; and truth is felt in every pulse, rather than reasoned out and demonstrated. You cannot offend a woman so quick, in any way, as to ask her why she wishes to do thus, or why she reaches such a conclusion. Her reply is, invariably, "'Cause!" And that is about all she knows about it; and yet woe be to the man who ignores her intuitions, or treats with disdain her advice. Woman reads character quicker and better than man. Her policy lies in her heart. She feels rather than reasons. Man reasons rather than feels. Hence she is a helpmeet. She fills a lack, and supplies a want.
In her the imagination and fancy have such a lively play, that the homeliest principles assume forms of beauty. In intellectual pursuits she is destined to excel by her fine sensibilities, her nice observations, and exquisite tastes, while man is appointed to investigate the laws of abstruse sciences, and perform in literature and art the bolder flights of genius. She may surpass him in representing life and manners, and in the composition of letters, memoirs, and moral tales, in descriptive poetry, and in certain styles of music and painting, and even in sculpture. But she will never write an Iliad or a Paradise Lost, or tragedies like those of Aeschylus. She will never rival Demosthenes in producing a political oration, nor a massive philosophic history like Thucydides. She will not paint a Madonna like Raphael, nor chisel an Apollo Belvedere. The logic of Aristotle, the polemics of Augustine, the prodigious onsets of a Luther, the Institutes of a Calvin, the Novum Organum of Bacon, the Principia of Newton, the Cosmos of Humboldt—the like of these she will never achieve, nor is it desirable that she should.
Women seldom invent. There are all manner of inventions, often hundreds of applications in a single day, for patents at the Patent Office, yet among them there are no female applicants. Woman cannot compete with man in a long course of mental labor. The female mind is rather quiet and timid than fiery and driving. It admires rather than covets the great exploits of the other sex. Woman never excelled in architecture. To her belong the gentler arts of quiet life and retirement, where she has power to soften and refine the heart of him who is accustomed to battle with the elements and the forces of external nature.
We might speak at length of woman's gentle nature, present striking examples of female submission, endurance, and heroism, and speak in general of her charms and of her beneficent influence in domestic and social life. It would be equally pertinent, perhaps, to exhibit brilliant specimens of female genius and culture in the more graceful walks of literature, science, or art. These gay flowers of humanity lie scattered all over the vast field of history. But our subject leads us in another direction. Woman as a helpmeet finds in her own nature the natural introduction to the spheres of usefulness and influence ever open to her. She has a body, a mind, and soul. She must help, physically, mentally, and spiritually. The household partnership is opened to her physical nature. This relation is good as far at it goes. But it is only the beginning. It is rather the result than the commencement of the union. There is a closer tie found in intellectual companionship. Mind comes in contact with mind; the wants of the intellect are met, and a union is the result. Men engaged in public life, literary men and artists, have often found in their wives companions and confidantes in thought no less than in feeling. And as the intellectual development of woman has spread wider, and never higher, they have been mutual helpers, suited to each other. Roland and his wife in Paris, William and Mary Howitt of England, and Mr. and Mrs. Browning, are beautiful illustrations of this principle, though they are exceptional in their character. As a rule, when men find helpers in women, there is no community of employment. Harmony exists in difference no less than in likeness, if only the same key-note governs both parts. Woman the poem, man the poet! Woman the heart, man the head! Such instances lie all about us. Man rides to battle, while his wife is busy in the kitchen; but difference of occupation does not prevent that community of inward life, that perfect esteem which causes him to say,—
"Whom God loves, to him gives he such a wife"
And yet there is a still higher realm open before woman, because of her spiritual nature.
Woman as a helpmeet needs something besides a well-stored mind. She requires a heart filled with pure affections. Here we perceive how essential to her well being is submission to Christ.
The assumption of the New Testament is, that we possess an animal nature. The meaning of the wordflesh, in all the New Testament writings, is, that the human family are living in an animal condition. It is taught that in that condition it is impossible for them to understand higher truths, or to feel higher influences, or to enter into the experiences which belong to the full development of the higher faculties. Christ came to us, suffered, and died for us, that an escape from this lower into the higher realm might be possible. It is possible. There is inherent under the divine influence the power of recreating, so that the soul shall escape from the prison-house of the flesh, and shall henceforth lead the mind and the body into a higher realm of thought and action. The very nature of woman makes her susceptible to religious impressions. Her lively imagination, her quick sensibilities, and her ready sympathy enable her readily to give Christ, the personification of every manly attribute and the embodiment of every virtue, a welcome to her soul.
It is possible for woman's spiritual nature to so marry Christ, that her physical nature can, without a great sacrifice, forego the joys of earthly companionship. Hence some women mated with a brute of a man, shine as Christians, and make excellent mothers. Woman as a Christian is a helpmeet indeed and in truth. Her power as such is felt in the church and in the world. She is peculiarly adapted to carry forward enterprises which have to do with meliorating the condition of society. Who is so adapted as she to manage an orphan's home, or to minister to the sick in hospitals, or to give support and sympathy to the aged, or to train children up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord? The first requisite to companionship is a heart imbued with the love of Christ.A heart must be emphasized, for a heartless woman is a terror in society, but a woman with a great heart, reverent and obedient to God, and full of love for Christ and his work, is a benefaction to a man, to a home, to a community, and to the world. "Favor is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised." And a woman that feareth the Lord and serveth him, is praised and prized beyond rubies. The next requisite to holiness may be said to be skilfulness in the home. Woman must be trained to household duties. If she lacks here, she is wanting in much that makes her a real wife or mother or sister.
America, the land of homes, finds the housewife essential to its future. Housework in woman is ever honorable. It ought to be her glory and her pride. Let us make it so more and more.
The second requisite is intelligence. A woman must keep up with man in literature, in general news, in what interests the community, and especially in growth in grace, and in the knowledge of the word of God, if she would make her home attractive. Thus shall they
"Sit side by side full sunned in all their powersDispensing harvests;Self-reverent each and reverencing eachDistinct in individualities;But like each other even as those who love,Then comes the statelier Eden back to man.For it is possible in wedded pair a harmonyMore grateful than harmonious sound to the ear."
Said Count Zinzendorf, in regard to his wife, "Twenty-five years' experience has shown me that just the helpmeet whom I love is the only one that could suit my vocation. Who else could have so carried through my family affairs? Who lived so spotlessly before the world? Who so wisely aided me in my rejection of a dry morality? Who so clearly set aside Pharisaism, which, as years passed, threatened to creep in among us? Who so deeply discerned as to the spirits of delusion which sought to bewilder us? Who would have governed my whole economy so wisely, richly, and hospitably, when circumstances commanded? Who have taken indifferently the part of servant or mistress without, on the one side, affecting an especial spirituality; on the other, being sullied by any worldly pride? Who, in a community where all ranks are eager to be on a level, would, from wise and real causes, have known how to maintain inward and outward distinctions? Who, without a murmur, has seen her husband encounter such dangers by land and sea? Who undertaken with him and sustained such astonishing pilgrimages? Who, amid such difficulties, would have always heldup her head and supported me? Who found such vast sums of money and acquitted them on her own credit? And, finally, who, of all human beings, could so well understand and interpret to others my inner and outer being, as this one, of such nobleness in her way of thinking, such great intellectual capacity, and so free from the theological perplexities that enveloped me?" Let any one peruse, with all intentness, the lineaments of this portrait, and he will be impressed with the fact, that it is possible for woman to fulfil her mission, and become a true helpmeet. This woman was not a copy. She was not a cipher. She was an original; and while she loved and honored her husband, she thought for herself on all subjects, with so much intelligence, that he could and did look on her as a sister and friend also.
The third and highest grade of marriage union is the religious, which may be expressed "as a pilgrimage round a common shrine." This includes the other,—home sympathies and household wisdom,—for these pilgrims know how to assist each other along the dusty way.
These facts should be remembered in her education. The beautiful forms which everywhere exist in nature should be impressed upon the female mind, and the treasures of elegant literature should be opened to her in no stinted measure.
A well-disciplined and a well-stored mind she does indeed require; but a heart of pure affections, a lively imagination, and quick sensibilities to give depth, and form, and beauty, and vivacity to the character of her mind, are so peculiarly feminine accomplishments, that without them a woman of the greatest intellect is, as it were, unsexed and disrobed of her loveliest charms. She may be a Queen Elizabeth, and conquer a Spanish Armada, but she will never conquer the heart, nor be recognized as a model of female character. She is to be the mother of her race. This fixes the sphere of her duties in the home. Think of Helen Olcott, the wife of Rums Choate; of the first Mrs. Webster, and of her influence upon that man who won the proud appellation, "The Great Expounder."
The story is told of Daniel Webster meeting a woman with her two boys loaded down with bundles, at the Jersey Ferry, in New York. The lady had lost her fortune through the failure of her husband. She was poor, and the old set ignored her. But she lived in a little cottage in New Jersey, and made it bright with her face of love. She was tired and sad. Many had passed her. Mr. Webster, seeing her perplexity, offered to relieve her of her bundles, and take charge of one of the boys. They entered the cars. He talked to her of her God-given trust, of her work, and of the results that would naturally flow from her efforts; of the province of a mother, of the trust reposed in her by God himself. She was encouraged and strengthened, and when she came to the depot, she said, "Please, sir, give me your card, that I may mention your name to my husband." She hurried out, and looked at it, and saw the name of Daniel Webster. The woman was thrilled with the joy that came to her in her sphere of service. Earth knows no fairer, holier relation than that of mother; and she turned with delight from the bubbles and froth of fashion to the grand work before her of raising men for God and humanity.
"The treasures of the deep are not so preciousAs are the concealed comforts of a manLocked up in woman's love. I scent the airOf blessings when I come but near the house.What a delicious breath marriage sends forth!The violet bed's not sweeter."
Think of the realm in which woman may rule. If she be elegant and refined; if she has learned how to govern, first herself, and then those about her, there is a charm diffused through the home which reveals itself in the good order of the establishment, in the politeness of the servants, in the genial disposition of the children, in the delightful intercourse of the different portions of the household, and in the fact that "her husband is known in the gates when he sitteth among the elders of the land. Strength and honor are her clothing, and she shall rejoice in time to come. She openeth her mouth with wisdom, and her tongue is the law of kindness. She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. Many daughters have done virtuously; but thou excellest them all."
In such words did King Lemuel praise this excellency of woman. Blessed memory! Who does not remember that one form of the old-fashioned mother,—the law of whose life was love; one who was the divinity of our infancy, and the sacred presence in the shrine of our first earthly idolatry; one whose heart was ever green, though the snows of time had gathered in the boughs of her life-tree; one to whom we never grow old, but in the plumed troop or the grave council are children still; one who welcomed us coming, blessed us going, and forgets us never; one who waits for the echo of our returning footstep, or who, perhaps, has gone on to the better land, and keeps a light in the window for those left behind.
Such women have power now as did the Hannahs and the Ruths of the olden time. When thinking of them, you are convinced that, young or old, they remain among the best of God's gifts to man. This leads us to remark further, that woman's right to be a woman implies her right to help woman. Woman must be true to her sex, or society will neglect its duty. That old story of Ruth and Naomi has ploughed through the world, because it reveals woman's power as a helper. Ruth clung to Naomi, and Naomi helped her daughter to find Boaz, that noble prince in Israel; and so she became identified with the succession of promise. The life of Mrs. Sigourney illustrates the same truth. See her among the young, calling forth their powers, and starting them in a career of usefulness. Impressed with the importance of an education, she aided by her pen, as by her example, to induce the ladies of her acquaintance to obtain a thorough knowledge of the primary branches that enter into daily use.
We want a woman to be intellectual without being puny. We ask that she remain a pliant vine, and that she be not made into the rugged oak.
Woman owes it to herself that she be fitted to occupy any position in society. In this land, as in no other, the barriers of caste are removed, and every line of separation obliterated. The rich and the poor meet together.
The cultured sewing-girl is quite likely to become the wife of the future millionnaire; and the lady reared in the midst of every luxury, and endowed with a fortune, amid the reverses of fortune may be compelled to draw upon her own resources of labor, and of love, and culture, to stay up the hands and encourage the heart of the man more than ever dependent upon her for happiness and hope.
Such a woman Irving must have painted when he wrote, "I have often had occasion to remark the fortitude with which women sustain the most overwhelming reverses of fortune. Those disasters which break down the spirit of a man, and prostrate him in the dust, seem to call forth all the energies of the softer sex, and give such intrepidity and devotion to their character, that at times it approaches to sublimity."
Nothing can be more touching than to behold a soft and tender female, who had been all weakness, and dependence, and alive to every trivial roughness, while treading the prosperous paths of life, suddenly rising in mental force to be the comforter and supporter of her husband under misfortunes, and abiding, with unshrinking firmness, the bitterest blasts of adversity.
As the vine, which has long twined its graceful foliage about the oak, and been lifted by it into sunshine, will, when the lordly plant is rifted by the thunderbolt, cling round it with caressing tendrils, and bind up its shattered boughs, so it is beautifully ordained by Providence that woman, who is the mere dependent and ornament of man in his happier hours, should be his stay and solace when smitten with sudden calamity; winding herself into the rugged recesses of his nature, tenderly supporting the head and binding up the broken heart.
To fill this feature of the wife, education is essential in household affairs, quite as much as education in books, in music, and the ways of fashion is essential to the young wife whose husband has suddenly become rich, and has given up his chambers and taken an elegant house in some fashionable street.
It is as bad to fall from the heights of opulence, and know not how to sweep a room, make a bed, or cook a meal, as it is to rise to an exalted position, and know not how to welcome company or preside at a feast.
The women in America who suddenly become elevated in rank, and buy pictures by the yard and books by the cord, are quite as abundant as are those who lose fortune and rank, and are compelled to seek menial employments.
The happiness secured by the proper employment of time, and by the cultivation of the mind, furnishes a high incentive to exertion.
Contrast the woman who is educated with the one uneducated. See her in her home, reigning a queen, while her uneducated sister, though she may have wealth and beauty, will constantly feel the lack of that which gold cannot procure nor fortune provide. "We are foolish, and without excuse foolish," said Ruskin, "in speaking of the 'superiority' of one sex to the other, as if they could be compared in similar things. Each has what the other has not; each completes the other, and is completed by the other; they are in nothing alike; and the happiness and perfection of both depend on each asking and receiving from the other what the other only can give. Their separate characters are briefly these: The man's power is active, progressive, defensive. He is eminently the doer, the creator, the discoverer, the defender. His intellect is for speculation and invention; his energy for adventure, for work, for conquest, whenever war is just, whenever conquest is necessary. But the woman's power is for love, not for battles; and her intellect is not for invention or creation, but for sweet ordering arrangement and decision. She sees the qualities of things, their claims, and their places. Her great function is Praise; she enters into no contest, but infallibly judges the crown of contest. By her office and her place, she is protected from all danger and temptation. The man, in his rough work in the open world, must encounter all peril and trial. To him, therefore, the failure, the offence, the inevitable error; often he must be wounded, or subdued, often misled, and always burdened. But he guards the woman from all this. Within his house, as ruled by her,—unless she herself has sought it,—need enter no danger, no temptation, no cause of error or offence. This is the true nature of home,—it is the place of peace; the shelter, not only from all injury, but from all terror, doubt, and derision. In so far as it is not this, it is not home; so far as the anxieties of the outer life penetrate into it, and the inconsistently-minded, unknown, unloved, or hostile society of the outer world is allowed, either by husband or wife, to cross the threshold, it ceases to be home; it is then only a part of that outer world which you have roofed over and lighted a fire in. But so far as it is a sacred place, a vestal temple, a temple of the hearth, watched over by household gods, before whose faces none may come but those whom they can receive with love,—so far as it is this, and roof and fire are types only of a nobler shade and light,—shadows of the rock in a weary land, and light as of the Pharos in the stormy sea; so far it vindicates the name, and fulfils the praise, of home. And wherever a true wife comes, this home is always round her. The stars only may be overhead; the glow-worm in the night—cold grass may be the only fire at her foot; but home is yet wherever she is; and for a noble-woman it stretches far round her, better than ceiled with cedar, or painted with vermilion, shedding its quiet light far, for those who else were homeless."
Possess these qualifications and woman will be respected and beloved.Her area of usefulness will be enlarged.
The man of brains and of industry and economy, has the promise of wealth and position much more certainly than the indolent son of a wealthy father. Respect such young men, and fit yourselves, young women, to be worthy of them.
Remember position is emptiness itself, unless there be talent, piety, and culture to adorn it.
We have asked the poor to help the rich. It is equally important that the rich help the poor. It is impossible to overestimate the value of those visitations of the noble few who leave their homes and seek out the little room of the poor seamstress, and carry sunlight and love and comfort into the abodes of the impoverished and the sorrowful.
Not only that, but it is possible and practicable for women of wealth and culture to help their sex to reach positions of respectability and usefulness.
Mary Lyon is known and honored throughout the world for her work in behalf of women.
Imagine our first ladies opening their parlors to girls who earn by industry and diligence in study, by purity of heart and blamelessness of life, the right to attention and respect.
Let it be known that the woman who makes a good record in the shop shall be respected in the home, and that she who becomes skilled in thought and acquainted with scientific research, should find thereby an introduction to society, that will ennoble her, and it is impossible to describe the effect that would be produced upon the minds of all. In this work women of culture can keep step with Jesus, and become the benefactresses of their sex and blessings to mankind. Let woman help woman, and society will be reformed. Let man be true to woman, and society will be adorned.
Of late there have been going round the press pen portraits of Bulwer, Dickens, and Carlyle. The two first are separated from their wives, and their lives are sunless and their homes are empty. Carlyle, that dry and laconic talker and that fierce hater, is made beautiful when you read that he conducts his company to the pretty sitting-room of his wife.
Mrs. Carlyle is a lively, pleasant creature, and a world of thought beams from her dark eyes. She has learned a great deal; her father gave her a most profound education, and she is possessed of a keen, yet mild judgment, of which her husband himself is afraid. There she sits sewing with her handsome fingers a new cravat for her Diogenes. In these surroundings all feel at ease, and Carlyle becomes talkative and witty, and displays his whole famous eloquence. Happy the man who grows witty in the society of his wife, and finds there the atmosphere calculated to promote his highest, grandest, and fullest development.
Mutual confidence is essential to happiness. The woman cannot confide in the man unless he can sympathize in her tenderness; nor can the man counsel with the woman, unless she can in some measure look upon the world as he looks upon it.
Hence it is wisely ordained that in every great man there are to be seen some of the feminine elements, and in every great, true woman, there are always to be found some elements of the sterner sex.
It is because the ballot has a tendency to make woman the rival rather than the companion of man, that it is opposed to the purest sentiments of woman. She wishes no division, and cannot tolerate independence or separation from the object of her love. Love cannot feed on strife. The husband and wife are one, though God made them male and female. If one acts in opposition to the other, domestic peace is slain on the altar of love. What God hath joined, let not potentates or anything else put asunder. It is an old truth, "Better a dinner of herbs where love is, than a stalled ox with hatred therewith." Man asks that his wife be pure, that she know but little of the deceptions and trials of trade, that she come not in contact with the rough exterior of life, that ever before the mind of man there might stand forth the beautiful ideal woman, whose influence irradiates the faith, with the light of love, in his journeyings through the wilderness.
"The family, and not the individual, is the true social integer. This is implied in the inspired history of the creation of man. God made of two 'one flesh,' or a unit of the human species. Generals and legislators have not overlooked the fact that married men and women can be relied on in emergencies where single persons cannot be trusted. Either part of a social integer is a pledge of the whole. The vitality of society lives in its integers. The future grows out of its integers. They are, therefore, what ought to be represented in its political structures. That it belongs more properly to the man than to the woman to represent the family, is manifest from revelation. 'The head of the woman is the man, whom she is commanded to obey.'"