Act II.

Scene:The Mulligan's front room. Entrances at right and left. Window at rear. At rise of curtainMrs. Mulliganis discovered at C., washing clothes in a tub.Bridget HonoraandMatsyare hanging wet clothes on a line, which runs across the rear of the stage.

Mrs. Mulligan(singing to a made-up tune as she washes).

Matsy.Maw, don't you think it's most time fer us to be going?

Mrs. Mulligan.Time to be going, is it? Well, I should hope not. Sure, half of the children are not dry yet, and the other half are not dressed. Bridget Honora, darlin', look in the other room and see how they're coming on. (ExitBridgetat R.)

Matsy.I think we ought to be there early, so as we can get a good seat on the front row. I don't want to miss nothing. (Hangs up a boy's union suit.)

Mrs. Mulligan.True for you, Matsy, and I don't want yeez to be missing anything either. It ain't like as if yeez go to a fine Christmas entertainment ivery night of yer lives. (Washes.)

Matsy.It's the first one any of us ever went to at all, at all. Do yeez think they be after having moving pictures?

Mrs. Mulligan.Of course not. Not in a Sunday School, Matsy. But belike they'll have a fine, grand Christmas tree with singin' and spaches andfine costumes and prisints for every one. (Calls off R.) Bridget Honora!

Bridget(off R.). Yes, maw?

Mrs. Mulligan.Come here.

EnterBridgetfrom R.

Bridget.Melissa and Micky Machree have been scrubbed until they shine. They're sitting in the window drying in the sun. Mary Ann is cleaning Peter Pan in the lard bucket, and Patsy is washing Teddy Magee in the rain-barrel. Nora is curling Clarissa's hair with the poker, and somebody's untied the goat.

Mrs. Mulligan.Untied the goat, is it? Matsy Mulligan, put on yer hat at once and see what's become of Shamus O'Brien. He's a good goat, is Shamus, but he's like the late Mr. Mulligan, he has a rovin' disposition and a tremenjous appetite. Hurry now, Matsy.

Matsy(whining). Aw, now, maw, I can't go and hunt the goat. I'm all dressed up for the entertainment. If I go after the goat, sure it's all mussed up I'll be.

Mrs. Mulligan.Yis, if I swat you one wid this wet cloth, it's worse than mussed up you'll be. Hurry after the goat. Niver a step does any Mulligan take from this house tonight until Shamus O'Brien is safe in the kitchen, wid his horns tied to the wash boiler.

Matsy.Sure, I dunno where to look fer him.

Mrs. Mulligan.Go over to Mrs. O'Toole's cabbage garden; like as not ye'll find him there. Sure, Shamus has a fine appetite for cabbages.

Matsy.Don't let 'em start afore I get back. Idon't want to miss nothin'. (Takes cap and exits L.)

Mrs. Mulligan.Now, Bridget Honora, lave off hanging up the clothes and go in and see if Melissa and Micky Machree are dry yet. And if they are call me in and I'll attend to their costumes.

Bridget.Maw, Mary Ann's having an awful time. She's growed so that her skirt and her waist has parted company, and what she'll be after doing I don't know at all, at all.

Mrs. Mulligan.Is there anything she can use as a sash?

Bridget.No'm. Nora and Clarissa have used up all the sashes.

Mrs. Mulligan(takes fringed bureau cover from wash-basket). Look here, now, Bridget Honora, see what I've found in the wash. It's a tidy to go on top of a dresser, but I'm thinking it's just the thing to fill the gap between the skirt and the waist of Mary Ann.

Bridget.Yes, maw. (Exit R.)

EnterPatsyfrom R. He runs in and is very much excited.

Patsy.Oh, maw, maw, come quick! Hurry, or he'll be drowned.

Mrs. Mulligan.What is it, Patsy? Spake quick.

Patsy.It's Teddy Magee. I was givin' him a wash in the rain-barrel, when all of a sudden, bad luck to him, he slipped through me fingers and fell head-first down in the barrel. (Cries.) Oh, it's drownded dead he'll be. Oh, oh! (Cries.)

Mrs. Mulligan.Oh, me baby, me baby! (Rushes out at R.)

EnterNoraandClarissafrom L.

Nora.Now sit right down there, Clarissa, and don't be moving a hair, because you're all fixed and ready for the entertainment.

Clarissa.And how do I look, Nora?

Nora.Ye look like a Christmas angel, so you do. Your hair curled just lovely and your striped stockings will be the admiration and envy of the entire Sunday School.

Patsy.Oh, Nora Eudora, come on quick. Teddy Magee fell in the rain-barrel and it's drownded dead he is intirely. (Cries.)

Nora.In the rain-barrel? How did he get in the rain-barrel?

Patsy.Sure, I was washing him, I was. And he was that slippery with the soap that he slid through me fingers and down to the bottom of the barrel.

Nora.Oh, the poor little Teddy Magee. (Runs out R., followed byPatsyandClarissa.)

EnterMary AnnandPeter Panfrom L.

Mary Ann.And how de yeez like me new sash, Peter Pan?

Peter Pan.Scwumptious.

Mary Ann.It's a tidy cover off'n a bureau, and I don't want to wear it at all, at all. Folks'll be after thinking I'm a bureau. Don't it look funny, Peter Pan?

Peter Pan.Scwumptious.

Mary Ann.I'm not going to wear it, so I'm not.

EnterBridgetfrom L.

Bridget.Mary Ann Mulligan, and what are yeez trying to do with your nice new sash?

Mary Ann.I ain't going to wear no tidy cover. Folks'll be after thinking I'm a bureau.

Bridget.Sure they'll think worse than that if yeez take it off. That's what comes of yer growing so fast. Yer skirt is fer six years old, and yer waist is fer six years old, and so you have to wear the sash to help out the other two years. Sashes are awful stylish, anyhow. It's pretty, too, ain't it, Peter Pan?

Peter Pan.Scwumptious.

EnterMrs. Mulliganfrom R., followed byPastyandNora.

Mrs. Mulligan.It's lucky for him that there wasn't any more water in the rain-barrel, or he would have been drownded dead sure. Patsy, yeez had no business to let him drop. Nora, you go out and finish him. Where's Clarissa?

EnterClarissafrom R.

Clarissa.Here I am, maw.

Mrs. Mulligan(looks her over carefully). Well, you're all ready. That's one. Nora and Patsy and Matsy are all ready. That makes four. Mary Ann, are you all fixed?

Mary Ann.Yes, mum, but I don't like me sash at all, at all. Folks will all know it's a bureau tidy, it's got fringe and everything.

Mrs. Mulligan.Oh, ho, me fine young lady. I suppose yeez want a peek-a-boo dress all trimmed with mayonnaise ruffles down the bias, do you? It's lucky for you I found that tidy in the wash, so it is.And don't yeez eat too much or breathe hard or ye'll bust it, and then where'll you be at?

Bridget.Maw, Mary Ann's chewing her apron.

Mrs. Mulligan(at the wash-tub). Mary Ann Mulligan, take that apron out'n your mouth. I niver saw such a girl to be always chewing something. It's first yer dress and then yer apron or your petticoat, whatever happens to be your topmost garment. Clothes were not made to chew.

EnterNorawithTeddy,MelissaandMicky,from L.

Nora.Here they are, maw, all ready for the party.

Mrs. Mulligan.Are ye sure they're all clean?

Nora.I am that. They've been scrubbed until me two arms ache. And Micky's had a bath in the rain-barrel.

Micky.I have that, and I don't want another one, either.

Mrs. Mulligan.All yeez sit down and let me look ye over.

Nora.Have ye finished the washing, maw?

Mrs. Mulligan.For the prisint, yes. I have more important duties to perform. Now, first and foremost, don't walk pigeon-toed. Bridget, have ye got a clane handkerchief?

Bridget.Yis, mum.

Mrs. Mulligan.Well, don't forget to use it if the necessity arises, and you'd better set next to Peter Pan so's he can use it, too. He's been kinder nosey all day, and I shouldn't wonder if he wasn't coming down with a cold in his head. How do you feel, Peter Pan?

Peter Pan.Scwumptious.

Mrs. Mulligan.Micky Machree Mulligan, and what are yeez looking cross-eyed for? Do ye think it improves yer beauty?

Micky.I thought there was a speck of dirt on me nose.

Mrs. Mulligan.Well, there's not, and hold yer head up straight.

Patsy.Maw, ain't it most time to go?

Mrs. Mulligan.It lacks two hours yet of the time, and Matsy ain't come back with the goat. Whatever's become of Shamus O'Brien I'd like to know. Which of yeez seen him last?

Nora.I saw him this mornin'. He was eatin' a tin tomato can down in the alley.

Mrs. Mulligan.The poor thing! Now I suppose I'll have a sick goat on me hands on top of all me other troubles—and tomorrow's Christmas Day.

Bridget.Maw, suppose they won't let us in the Sunday School at all, at all. We don't belong to that Sunday School. What'll we do then?

Mrs. Mulligan.Indade they'll not turn yeez away on Christmas Eve. I chose that Sunday School for yeez to attend because it's the largest and the most fashionable in town. Mrs. Beverly Brewster goes there, and wherever Mrs. Beverly Brewster goes, sure yeez can count on it, it's bound to be most fashionable and select.

Mary Ann.But we never went there before. They'll think it's awfully nervy fer us to come buttin' in at their Christmas entertainment.

Mrs. Mulligan.Niver once will they. They'll welcome yeez with open arms and many Christmasprisints. And whatever yeez get be sure and say, "Thank yeez kindly and much obliged." Can ye do that?

All.Oh, yes, mum.

Mrs. Mulligan.Clarissa, look out'n the door and see if ye see anything of Matsy and the goat.

Clarissa.Yes, mum. (Goes to door at L.)

Mrs. Mulligan.Mary Ann Mulligan, quit fooling with yer sash. If I've told yer once I've told yer a hundred times it's liable to bust and yer skirt and yer waist ain't on speakin' terms.

Clarissa(at door). Maw, here comes Mrs. O'Toole.

Mrs. Mulligan.It's the goat. He's been filling himself up on the O'Toole cabbages. My, my, that goat'll be the death of me yet.

EnterMrs. O'Toole,limping in from L.

Mrs. O'Toole.Good evening, Mrs. Mulligan.

Mrs. Mulligan.The same to ye, Mrs. O'Toole. Come in and set down.

Mrs. O'Toole.I have no time to set down, and I have no inclination to set down. And it's all on account of yer goat, Shamus O'Brien.

Mrs. Mulligan.Me goat, is it?

Mrs. O'Toole.It is the same, and it's an injured woman I am this night.

Mrs. Mulligan.My, my! I'll have to kill that old goat. He's entirely too obstreperous. And did he chase you, Mrs. O'Toole?

Mrs. O'Toole.Chase me? He did worse than chase me. He caught up with me.

Mrs. Mulligan.And where is he now?

Mrs. O'Toole.Niver a know do I know wherehe is. I left your boy Matsy chasing him down the alley with a rope.

Mrs. Mulligan.Bridget, go in the far room and get a wee drop of tay for Mrs. O'Toole.

Mrs. O'Toole.I can't drink any tay. I'm that injured I can't drink at all, at all.

Mrs. Mulligan.A drop of tay will warm ye up. Hurry, Bridget.

Bridget.Yis, mum. (Exits R.)

Mrs. O'Toole.I was out in me cabbage garden picking a bit of cabbage for me owld man's Christmas dinner. I was bending over looking at the cabbage whin all of a sudden I felt meself flying through the air and I landed in the watering trough, so I did. And it was full of water. And I'm almost killed entirely—and it's all the fault of your goat, Mrs. Mulligan.

Mrs. Mulligan.There, now, Kathleen, darlin', sit down and take things easy.

Mrs. O'Toole.I'll not sit down, Mollie Mulligan. Sure I'm thinking I'll be after spindin' the rist of me life standing up on me two fate.

Mrs. Mulligan.So the goat struck ye, did he?

Mrs. O'Toole.He did.

Mrs. Mulligan.My, my, the trouble I've had all along of that Shamus O'Brien. He's an awful goat, is Shamus O'Brien.

EnterBridgetwith two cups of tea.

Bridget.Here's the tea, mum.

Mrs. Mulligan.Thank ye kindly, Bridget. Here, Kathleen, take a cup of tay and let it soothe your wounded feelings.

Mrs. O'Toole.Sure, it's more than me feelings that is wounded, Mrs. Mulligan. (Drinks tea.)

Clarissa.Maw, ain't it time we were starting for the entertainment?

Mrs. Mulligan.My, my, I've been that excited about the misdeeds of that rascal Shamus O'Brien that I had forgotten the Christmas entertainment entirely.

Mrs. O'Toole.Sure, your family looks as though they were going out in society, Mollie Mulligan.

Mrs. Mulligan.They are that. They're on their way to the fine church entertainment at the Sunday School down the strate.

Nora(at door L.). Maw, here comes Matsy with the goat. (Looks out of door.)

Mrs. Mulligan(goes to door and speaks off L.). Matsy Mulligan, tie that goat in the back yard and tie all his four fate together. I'll tach him a lesson, if it's the last thing I ever do. Patsy, go out and help your brother tie up Shamus O'Brien. (ExitPatsyat L.)

Mrs. O'Toole.Nora Eudora, darlin', have ye got a sofy pillow handy. I think if I had a couple of sofy pillows I could set down and enjoy me tay.

Nora.Yis, mum. Here's two of 'em. (Arranges them in the chair.)

EnterPatsyandMatsyfrom L.

Matsy.Come on, all of yeez, or we'll be late for the show. And I don't want to miss nothin'.

Mrs. Mulligan(standing at R.). I think yeez are all ready now. Let me see if there's anyone missing. (Counting and pointing to each in turn.)

Patsy.We are all here, maw.

Mrs. Mulligan.Now, yer all ready. Throw out yer heads. Forward, march!

Children.Good-bye, maw.

Mrs. Mulligan.Good-bye, and the Lord love yeez all. Have a good time. Good-bye. (The children march out at L.)

Mrs. O'Toole.Ten of 'em. I don't see how ye ever manage to make both ends meet, Mollie Mulligan, with ten big, healthy children—to say nothing of the goat, Shamus O'Brien.

Mrs. Mulligan(in door waving hand to children). Good-bye. Have a good time. (Yells.) Mary Ann, don't let yer sash bust in two! (Crosses to R. and sinks in chair.)

Mrs. O'Toole.Ye have a fine family, Mrs. Mulligan. Ye have a fine bunch of boys, and ye have a bunch of girls, and ye have a fine bunch of babies; but ye have an awful goat.

Mrs. Mulligan.Shamus O'Brien is the pest of me heart, Kathleen O'Toole; so he is; but he's all that's left of me late husband's property. Michael Mulligan thought the world of that goat, he did.

Mrs. O'Toole.I'm a peaceful woman, Mollie Mulligan, and a calm, neighborly woman; but I don't like goats.

Mrs. Mulligan.I don't blame ye at all, at all, Kathleen. But poor Shamus O'Brien was probablyonly nosing around fer a bit of Christmas Eve dinner. I'll kape him tied in the future.

Mrs. O'Toole.Sure and it is Christmas Eve, isn't it?

Mrs. Mulligan.Indade it is, and for the sake of the holy eve, I think ye'd best be after forgiving the poor goat and not harbor any ill feeling agin him on Christmas Day.

Mrs. O'Toole.Harbor ill feeling, is it? Faith, then I'll not, Mollie Mulligan, and it's meself that'll be bringing over a big cabbage head on the morning for Shamus O'Brien's Christmas dinner.

Mrs. Mulligan(rises). I'll be after tidying up the house a bit. It's little enough I've got for the children's Christmas tomorrow morning; but at least I can have me house in order and a burning candle shining in the windy. (Lights candle and sets it on table in front of the window.)

Mrs. O'Toole(rises). Your burning candle takes me back again to the days of me childhood in County Clare. Well do I mind me last Christmas Eve in ould Ireland, the little thatched cabin with its one window, the stinging smoke of the peat fire, the lads and the colleens and the ould piper—and the merry dances and songs, do ye remember, Mollie,darling? (Puts arms on hips, wags head from side to side and sings briskly:)

Listen

song

Mrs. O'Toole(sings briskly):

(Repeat until end.)

Mrs. Mulligan(faces her, assumes same position, sings briskly):

(Repeat until end.)

Mrs. O'Toole(sings):

(Repeat until end.)

Mrs. O'Toolehums the song faster and begins to jig, by kicking out R. and L. foot alternately, on first three lines and twirling on fourth line.At the beginning of the "Tee-oodle,"Mrs. Mulliganstarts in and does exactly asMrs. O'Tooledid on the first four lines, whileMrs. O'Tooleskips around stage in a circle.On the second verse they march forward and back, arms on hips. Forward again. Do-si-do (backs to back). March forward and back and then each twirls alone.Mrs. O'Tooleknocks over the table.Mrs. Mulligan,not to be outdone, knocks over the tub. The music becomes faster and faster.On third verse they jig alone, then forward and back, forward again and swing each other madly. While they are dancing they shout out occasionally, "Huroo for ould Ireland!" "That's me fine lady!" "Look at me now!" etc.

Mrs. O'Toolehums the song faster and begins to jig, by kicking out R. and L. foot alternately, on first three lines and twirling on fourth line.

At the beginning of the "Tee-oodle,"Mrs. Mulliganstarts in and does exactly asMrs. O'Tooledid on the first four lines, whileMrs. O'Tooleskips around stage in a circle.

On the second verse they march forward and back, arms on hips. Forward again. Do-si-do (backs to back). March forward and back and then each twirls alone.Mrs. O'Tooleknocks over the table.Mrs. Mulligan,not to be outdone, knocks over the tub. The music becomes faster and faster.

On third verse they jig alone, then forward and back, forward again and swing each other madly. While they are dancing they shout out occasionally, "Huroo for ould Ireland!" "That's me fine lady!" "Look at me now!" etc.

Curtain.

Same as scene before. The wash-tub has been removed, also the washing from the line. The table has been straightened andMrs. O'Tooleis seated there making a toy elephant.Mrs. Mulliganis seated at L. dressing a doll body in a baby's dress. The candle burns before the window.

Mrs. O'Toole.It's lucky for us, darlin', that me husband is out at his lodge tonight. I can stay with you until the children return from the entertainment, and maybe it's a bit of a Christmas Eve high-jinks we can be having afterwards.

Mrs. Mulligan.Indade, I'm glad to have ye, Kathleen. Will your husband be long at lodge?

Mrs. O'Toole(cutting the elephant's ears from brown paper). He will that. Pat is the Grand Exalted Chafe Ruler of the Benevolent and Obstreperous Order of United Wooden-men, and he won't be home till marnin'.

Mrs. Mulligan.Is he now? The late Mr. Mulligan was niver much of a lodge joiner but that made no difference to him; he niver came home till marnin', lodge or no lodge.

Mrs. O'Toole.Remember, Mollie, you're coming over to dinner with us tomorrow. It's at one o'clock.

Mrs. Mulligan.Oh, Kathleen, I can't be laving the children at all, at all. On Christmas Day, too.

Mrs. O'Toole.Of course you can't. Ye're going to bring the children over with ye.

Mrs. Mulligan.The whole tin of them?

Mrs. O'Toole(counting on fingers).

Mrs. Mulligan.And ye're willing for the whole bunch of us to come?

Mrs. O'Toole.All but the goat. I draw the line at Shamus O'Brien. Ye see it's this way. Me man, Pat, won a turkey in a raffle, and it's as big as a billy-goat. Then on top of that me daughter Toozy, that's married and lives in the country, sent us two chickens and a goose. And there's only me and Pat to ate all that.

Mrs. Mulligan.Kathleen O'Toole, it's a saint ye are.

Mrs. O'Toole.I says to Pat, says I, "Christmas ain't Christmas at all, at all, unless there's some children at the dinner." "What'll we do?" says Pat. "Invite the Mulligans," says I. And Pat was tickled to death. We've potatoes and squash and cabbage from me own garden, and we've oyster dressing and cramberries and stewed corn and apple fritters, and it's meself that has made eight mince pies, and four punkin ones—and I think we'll be after having a dinner on Christmas Day that would do credit to ould Saint Patrick himself.

Mrs. Mulligan.Sure, ye almost make me cry for joy, Kathleen O'Toole, and after the goat trated ye the way he did, too.

Mrs. O'Toole.If a woman can't be neighborly and loving on Christmas Day, Mollie Mulligan, sure I'm thinking she niver can be neighborly and loving at all, at all.

Mrs. Mulligan.And ye're aven makin' a bit of an iliphant for wee Peter Pan.

Mrs. O'Toole.I am that. Here's the little, fat body. (Shows cylindrical piece of dark green squash.) And here's the four legs. (Shows two bananas cut in half.) I'll just stick the legs on with nails—and there he stands. Now, here's a little potato for a head, and an ould skinny carrot for a trunk. I'll stick them on with a hair pin. (Does so.) Now, I'll stick on the ears and put in the shoe-button eyes, and with this wee bit of black paper for a tailpiece, and there ye are. Mr. Mumbo Jumbo Mulligan as natural as life and twice as handsome. (Shows elephant to audience.)

Mrs. Mulligan.Here's a doll baby I've dressed, but it's no head she has at all, at all.

Mrs. O'Toole.Use a big yellow apple or a wee yellow punkin, and put on a baby cap—and there ye are. Stick in some buttons for eyes, and a wee nose and mouth of red paper—and stick the head on the body with some hair pins, and the quane herself niver had a better doll baby.

Mrs. Mulligan.I'll put her right here on the table alongside of the iliphant.

Mrs. O'Toole.It's nine o'clock, it is. Isn't it time for the children to be home?

Mrs. Mulligan(goes to door at R.). It is that. (Looks out.) And here they come now.

(The children are heard outside at R., singing to the tune of "Marching Through Georgia.")

(They march in from R., come down to front and line up.)

(They march around stage while singing the chorus, but line up in front while singing the verses. Use gestures to indicate the different persons and their toys.)

Mrs. Mulligan.And did ye have a good time at the entertainment?

Bridget.Indade and we did that. It was as good as a circus parade and a picture show together. They treated us just lovely.

Mrs. Mulligan.Did they now? And you wasn't invited at all, at all.

Matsy.They gave us a seat way up in front, and Micky Machree acted like a pig, he did. Sure, he grabbed two oranges.

Mrs. Mulligan.Why, Micky, it's ashamed of ye I am.

Micky.I grabbed one to bring home to you, maw. I wanted you to have some of the Christmas present, too.

Mrs. Mulligan(hugs him). That's just like your father, Micky.

Mrs. O'Toole(helping children off with hats, wraps, etc.). And did ye have a good time, wee Peter Pan?

Peter Pan.Scwumptious, just scwumptious.

Mary Ann.And me sash niver busted in two at all. And I was one of the most stylish young ladies present, so I was.

Melissa.And they had a great, big Christmas tree. Clean up to the ceiling. With lights and toys and candy and little stars and bright fairies and angels and everything.

Patsy.And ould Santy Claus was there with a long white beard and a big pack of presents to everyone.

Clarissa.And I pulled Santa Claus' whiskers and they nearly fell off. He must be getting pretty old, 'cause his whiskers is coming loose.

Bridget.And Santy Claus called out all the names and everybody got up when their names was called and he gave 'em a present.

Micky.And they never called our names at all, at all.

Mrs. Mulligan.That's because they didn't know them. They didn't expect you at the party.

Mary Ann.It was a surprise party, maw.

Mrs. Mulligan.How was it a surprise party, Mary Ann?

Mary Ann.They all looked surprised when we came in.

Nora.When I saw they weren't going to call out our names, I just rose up in me seat and took the whole nine of 'em by the hand and marched right up to Santa Claus. He looked real surprised at the bunch of us.

Mrs. Mulligan.I should think he would.

Nora."And who are you?" says he. "We're the ten little Mulligans from Mulligan Alley in Shantytown," says I, as cool as an icicle. "And we're ready for our presents, if it's all the same to you," says I. I thought they was going to fire us out, but what did he do but dive way down in the bottom of the sack and give every last one of us a present?

Teddy.And then he gave us bags of candy and oranges and apples and peanuts and popcorn and a candy cane, and then they had a show and Bridget Honora spoke a piece, she did.

Mrs. O'Toole.How did ye happen to spake a piece, Bridget Honora?

Bridget.I just stood up and told 'em I knowed one. There ain't nuthin' bashful about me. And I kind o' thought we ought to do something to help pay fer the good things they gave us.

Mrs. Mulligan(petting her). That's me good little Bridget Honora.

Melissa(sees doll on table). Oh, wee! Lookee there! Where'd she come from?

Mrs. O'Toole.Santa Claus was after being here while you were away and he left it for you.

Melissa.Is it all for me?

Mrs. Mulligan.It's the Mulligan dolly. It's fer all ten of yeez.

Patsy.She can have my share. I don't want no dolls.

Micky.Oh, look at the efulunt. Look at the efulunt.

Mrs. O'Toole.That is Mumbo Jumbo Mulligan from the sunny shores of Africa, way down in Louisiana.

Children.Who's he fur? Who's he fur?

Peter Pan(takes elephant). He's fur me. Scwumptious!

Teddy.Maw, they had a show there at the Sunday School. There was a wee little man, about so long (measures about two feet), and he stood up on a table and sang a song, so he did.

Patsy.Humph! I know how they did that. Matsy and me can show it to you.

Melissa.And they had the Turnover Topsy Turvies, too.

Clarissa.They stood upside down on their heads.

Mrs. Mulligan.My, my—but it must have been a wonderful show.

Mrs. O'Toole.Just think what we missed, Mollie Mulligan.

Matsy.I didn't miss nothin'. I never miss nothin' no time.

Nora.We could give just as good a show our own selves.

Others.Let's do it; let's do it. Let's give a show for maw and Mis' O'Toole.

Teddy.Would you like to see it, maw?

Mrs. Mulligan.If it ain't too late.

Mrs. O'Toole. What matters it how late it is? Christmas comes but once a year——

All. And when it comes it brings good cheer.

Mrs. Mulligan. Then sure we'll have the show. Poor folks can be just as happy on Christmas Day as rich folks. It's all in the way you feel about it.

Patsy. Now, maw, you and Mrs. O'Toole take your seats out there in front. (Points to front row of the audience.)

Matsy. I'll help you carry them out. (They carry down two chairs from the stage and seatMrs. MulliganandMrs. O'Toolein the audience.)

Patsy. Now, we'll have to draw the curtain to get the stage ready.

Nora. And while we're getting ready Mary Ann can say her piece.

Curtain Falls.

Mrs. Mulligan(in audience). My, my, Kathleen, what a large crowd of people are here tonight. I'm afraid I'm not dressed up for the occasion.

Mrs. O'Toole. Dressed up, is it? Indade you are. Ye have on short sleeves and a low-neck dress. What more would ye want? There's the minister and his wife setting right back there. (Speaks to them.) Good avening, Brother ——; sure, it's a fine avening we're having, is it not?

Mrs. Mulligan(speaks to a lady in audience). My, my, is it yourself, Mrs. ——? Sure, I'm glad to see ye out. It's a long time since I've had the pleasure of seeing you. (Speaks to several children.) And there's —— and —— and ——. I'm glad to see all of yeez. Sure, some day yeez must come over to me house in Mulligan Alley and I'll let you play with the goat, Shamus O'Brien.

Mrs. O'Toole. I see the young ladies over there, and each one of them has a young man. My, my, it does me ould heart good to see the young folks enjoying themselves. It ain't so many years since me and Pat was courting each other just like the rest of yeez.

Mrs. Mulligan. Mrs. O'Toole, do you see that young man sitting there all by his lonesome? Ain't it a shame? And him such a good looking young feller, too. I've a good notion to go over there and cheer him up a bit. Maybe his girl is here with another fellow.

Mrs. O'Toole. Sure, there's plenty of girls here without any fellows at all, at all. Why should a young man sit all alone like a bump on a log, whin there's so many handsome colleens waiting for the chance at him?

Mrs. Mulligan. Whist, Mrs. O'Toole, it's making him embarrassed yeez are. Will you look at the red color in his face?

Mrs. O'Toole. If ye ask me my opinion, Mollie Mulligan, sure and I think he's after waiting fer one of yer own lovely daughters.

Mrs. Mulligan. Well, he might go further and fare worse. Nora Eudora's a fine girl, if I do say it myself.

Mrs. O'Toole. Whist, here comes Mary Ann out in front of the curtain to spake her piece.

(Mary Anncomes in front of the curtain, makes a bow and recites:)

Mrs. O'Toole(applauding vigorously). Wasn't that dandy? Sure, little Mary Ann has a wonderful education, so she has!

Mrs. Mulligan. She takes after her own mother. I was just like her when I was that age.

Mrs. O'Toole. And you're just like her still, Mollie Mulligan. Sure you're the sunshine of Mulligan Alley and the belle of Shantytown.

Mrs. Mulligan. Whist now! It's covered I am wid blushes. But, hush! I think the show is about to begin.

Back to Index Next