Thou art that Man whom Love has rais’d above him;Whom every Grace and every Charm thou hastConspire to make thee mightier to my Soul;AndOliver, illustriousOliver,Was yet far short of thee.Lov.He was the Monarch then whose Spoils I triumph in.L. Lam.They were design’d too for Trophies to the young and gay.Ah,Loveless!that I cou’d reward thy YouthWith something that might make thee more than Man,As well as to givethe best of Women to thee—[Rises, takes him by the Hand, leads him to the Table. He starts.—Behold this gay, this wondrous glorious thing.Lov.Hah—a Crown—and Scepter!Have I been all this whileSo near the sacred Relicks of my King;And found no awful Motion in my Blood,Nothing that mov’d sacred Devotion in me?[Kneels.—Hail sacred Emblem of great Majesty,Thou that hast circled more DivinityThan the great Zodiack that surrounds the World.I ne’er was blest with sight of thee till now,But in much reverenc’d Pictures—[Rises and bows.L. Lam.Is’t not a lovely thing?Lov.There’s such Divinity i’ th’ very Form on’t,Had I been conscious I’d been near the Temple,Where this bright Relick of the glorious MartyrHad been enshrin’d, ’t had spoil’d my soft Devotion.—’Tis Sacrilege to dally where it is;A rude, a saucy Treason to approach itWith an unbended Knee: for Heav’ns sake, Madam,Let us not be profane in our Delights,Either withdraw, or hide that glorious Object.L. Lam.Thou art a Fool, the very sight of this—Raises my Pleasure higher:Methinks I give a Queen into thy Arms,And where I love I cannot give enough;[Softly.—Wou’d I cou’d set it on thy Head for ever,’Twou’d not become my simple LordThe thousandth part so well.[Goes to put it on his Head,he puts it back.Lov.Forbear, and do not play with holy things;Let us retire, and love as Mortals shou’d,Not imitate the Gods, and spoil our Joys.L. Lam.Lovely, and unambitious!What hopes have I of all your promis’d Constancy,Whilst this which possibly e’er long may adorn my Brow,And ought to raise me higher in your Love,Ought to transform you even to Adoration,Shall poorly make you vanish from its Lustre?Methinks the very Fancy of a QueenIs worth a thousand Mistresses of less illustrious Rank.Lov.What, every pageant Queen? you might from thence inferI’d fall in love with every little Actress, becauseShe acts the Queen for half an hour,But then the gaudy Robe is laid aside.L. Lam.I’ll pardon the Comparison in you.Lov.I do not doubt your Power of being a Queen,But trust, it will not last.How truly brave would your great Husband be,If, whilst he may, he paid this mighty DebtTo the right Owner!If, whilst he has the Army in his Power,He made a true and lawful use of it,To settle our great Master in his Throne;And by an Act so glorious raise his NameEven above the Title of a King.L. Lam.You love me not, that would persuade me from My Glory.EnterGilliflower.Gill.Oh, Madam, the Lords are all got merry, as they call it, and are all dancing hither.L. Lam.What, at theirOliverianFrolicks?—DearLoveless, withdraw, I wou’d not give the fond believing Fool a Jealousy of me.Gill.Withdraw, Madam? ’tis impossible, he must run just into their Mouths.L. Lam.I’m ill at these Intrigues, being us’d to Lovers that still came with such Authority, that modestlymy Husband wou’d withdraw—but Loveless is in danger, therefore take care he be not seen.Gill.Heav’ns! they are coming, there’s no Retreat—L. Lam.Lie down on the Couch—and cover him you with the Foot-Carpet—So, give me my Prayer-Book.[He lies down along on the Couch, they cover him with the Carpet: L.Lam.takes her Book, sits down on his Feet, and leans on the Back of the Couch reading;Gill.stands at t’other end, they enter dancing as before.—What Insolence is this? do you not hear me, you—Sots—whom Gaiety and Dancing do so ill become.War.[Singing.]Welcome,Joan Sanderson, welcome, welcome.[Goes to take her out, she strikes him.Wons, Madam, that’s no part o’ th’ Dance.L. Lam.No, but ’tis part of a reward for your Insolence, Which possibly your Head shall answer for—Lam.Pardon him, my Dear, he meant no Disrespect to thee.L. Lam.How dare you interrupt my Devotion, Sirrah? Be gone with all your filthy ill-bred Crew.[Lam.sits down onLov.Lam.My only Dear, be patient; hah!—Something moves under me; Treason, Treason![He rises.[Lov.rolls off, and turnsLam.over, the rest of the Men run out crying Treason, Treason, overthrowing the Lights, putting ’em out.L. Lam.Treason, Treason! my Lord, my Lord!Lam.Lights there, a Plot, a Popish Plot, Lights!L. Lam.The Crown, the Crown, guard the Crown![She groping about, findsLov.by his Clothes, knows him.—Here, take this Key, the next room is my Bed-chamber, Secure yourself a moment.—[Ex.Loveless.Lights there, the Crown—who art thou?[Takes hold ofLam.Lam.’Tis I.L. Lam.Ah, my Lord, what’s the matter?—Lam.Nay, my Lady, I ask you what’s the matter?EnterPagewith Lights.By Heaven, all is not well; hark ye, my fine she Politician, who was it you had hid beneath this Carpet?L. Lam.Heav’ns! dost hear him,Gilliflower?Sure the Fellow’s mad.Gill.Alack, my Lord, are you out of your honourable Wits? Heav’n knows, my Lady was at her Devotion.Lam.Baud, come, confess thy self to be one. At her Devotion! yes, with a He Saint.Gill.Ah! Gad forbid the Saints should be so wicked.L. Lam.Hark ye, thou little sniveling Hypocrite, who hast no Virtue but a little Conduct in Martial Discipline; who hast by Perjuries, Cheats, and pious Villanies, wound thy self up into the Rabble’s Favour, where thou mayst stand till some more great in Roguery remove thee from that height, or to the Gallows, if the King return: hast thou the Impudence to charge my Virtue?Lam.I know not, Madam, whether that Virtue you boast were lost, or only stak’t, and ready for the Gamester; but I am sure a Man was hid under this Carpet.L. Lam.Oh Heav’ns, a Man!Gill.Lord, a Man! Are you sure ’twas a Man, my Lord?—Some villanous Malignant, I’ll warrant.Lam.It may be so.Gill.Alack, the Wickedness of these Heroicks to hide under Carpets; why they’l have the impudence to hide under our Petticoats shortly, if your Highness take ’em not down.[To LadyLam.Lam.I do believe so; Death—a Cuckold? shall that black Cloud shade all my rising Fame?L. Lam.Cuckold! Why, is that Name so great a Stranger to ye,Or has your rising Fame made ye forgetHow long that Cloud has hung upon your Brow?—’Twas once the height of your Ambition, Sir;When you were a poor-sneaking Slave toCromwell,Then you cou’d cringe, and sneer, and hold the Door,And give him every Opportunity,Had not my Piety defeated your Endeavours.Lam.That was for Glory,Who wou’d not be a Cuckold to be great?—IfCromwellleap’d into my Saddle once,I’ll step into his Throne for’t: but, to be pointed atBy Rascals that I—rule—’tis insupportable.L. Lam.How got this Fellow drunk? call up my Officers!Who durst deliver him this quantity of Wine?Send strait in my Name, to summon all theDrunken Committee of Safety into my Presence.By Heav’n, I’ll show you, Sir—yes they shallSee what a fine King they’re like to haveIn Honest, Gadly, Sober, WiseJack Lambert.—Nay, I’ll do’t; d’ye think to take away my Honour thus?I, who by my sole Politicks and ManagementHave set you up, Villain of Villains, Sirrah.—Away—summon ’em all.[ToGilliflower.Lam.Stay—be not so rash; who was beneath the Carpet?L. Lam.I will not answer thee.Lam.Nor any living thing?L. Lam.No Creature in the Room, thou silly Ideot, butGilliflowerand I—at our Devotion, praying to Heav’n for your Success to morrow—and am I thus rewarded?[Weeps,Gill.weeps too.Lam.My Soul, I cannot bear the Sight of Tears From these dear Charming Eyes.L. Lam.No matter, Sir, the Committee shall right me.Lam.Upon my Knees I ask thy Pardon, Dear; by all that’s good, I wou’d have sworn I’d felt something stir beneath me as I sat, which threw me over.L. Lam.Only your Brains turn’d round with too much drinking and dancing, Exercises you are not us’d to—go sleep, and settle ’em, for I’ll not deign to Bed with you to night—retire, as e’er you hope to have my Aid in your Advancement to the Crown.Lam.I’m gone—and once more pardon my Mistake.[Bows, and goes out. Ex.Gill.L. Lam.—So, this fighting Fool, so worshipp’d by the Rabble,How meanly can a Woman make him sneak?—The happy Night’s our own—[ToLoveless.EnterGill.Loveless.Lov.Excellent Creature, how I do adore thee!L. Lam.But you, perhaps, are satisfied already—Lov.Never; shou’dst thou be kind to all Eternity. Thou hast one Virtue more, I pay thee Homage for; I heard from the Alcove how great a Mistress thou art in the dear Mystery of Jilting.L. Lam.That’s the first Lesson Women learn in Conventicles, Religion teaches those Maxims to our Sex: by thisKings are deposed, and Commonwealths are rul’d;By Jilting all the Universe is fool’d.[Exeunt.ACT V.Scene I.A Street.EnterCorporal, half drest; with Soldiers, Joyner, and Felt-maker.Cor.Ha, Rogues, the City-Boys are up in Arms; brave Boys, all for the King now!Felt.Have a care what you say, Sir; but as to the City’s being in Mutiny, that makes well for us: we shall fall to our old Trade of plundering; something will fall to the Righteous, and there is Plunder enough.Cor.You plunder, Sirrah! knock him down, and carry him into the Guard-room, and secure him.[Two Soldiers seize him.1 Sold.They say the Committee of Safety sate all Night at GeneralLambert’s, about some great Affair—some rare Change, Rogues.2 Sold.Yes, and to put off Sorrow, they say, were all right reverendly drunk too.Cor.I suppose there is some heavenly matter in hand; there was Treason cried out at the General’s last night, and the Committee of no Safety all ran away.1 Sold.Or rather reel’d away.Cor.The Ladies squeak’d, the Lords fled, and all the House was up in Arms.Felt.Yea, and with Reason they say; for the Pope in disguise was found under the Lady’s Bed, and two huge Jesuits as big asthe tallIrish-man, with Blunderbusses; having, as ’tis said, a Design to steal the Crown, now in Custody of the General—2 Sold.Good lack, is’t possible?Joyn.Nay, Sir, ’tis true, and is’t not time we look’d about us?Cor.A Pox upon ye all for lying Knaves—secure ’em both on the Guard till farther Order—and let us into th’ City, Boys: hay forLombard-Street.2 Sold.Ay, hay forLombard-Street; there’s a Shop I have mark’d out for my own already.1 Sold.There’s a handsom Citizen’s Wife, that I have an Eye upon, her Husband’s a rich Banker, I’ll take t’one with t’other.Joyn.You are mistaken, Sir, that Plunder is reserv’d for us, if they begin to mutiny; that wicked City that is so weary of a Commonwealth.2 Sold.Yes, they’re afraid of the Monster they themselves have made.EnterLov.andFree.in disguise.Cor.Hah, my noble Colonel! what, in disguise!Free.We have made our Escapes—and hope to see better times shortly, the nobleScotchGeneral is come, Boys.EnterCaptainof the Prentices, and a great Gang with him, arm’d with Swords, Staffs, &c.Capt.Come, my Lads, since you have made me Captain, I’ll lead you bravely on; I’ll die in the Cause, or bring you off with Victory.1 Pren.Here’s a Club shall do some Execution: I’ll beat outHewson’st’other Eye; I scorn to take him on the blind side.Capt.In the first Place, we must all sign a Petition to my Lord Mayor.—2 Pren.Petitions! we’ll have no Petition, Captain; we are for Club-Law, Captain.Capt.Obey, or I leave you.All.Obey, Obey.Capt.Look ye, we’ll petition for an honest Free Parliament I say.1 Pren.No Parliament, no Parliament, we have had too much of that Mischief already, Captain.All.No Parliament, no Parliament.Capt.Farewel, Gentlemen, I thought I might have been heard.Free.Death, Sirs, you shall hear the Captain out.All.We obey, we obey.Capt.I say an honest Free Parliament, not one pick’d and chosen by Faction; but such an one as shall do our Bus’ness, Lads, and bring in theGreat Heroick.All.Ay, ay, the Great Heroick, the Great Heroick.Lov.A fine Youth, and shou’d be encourag’d.Capt.Good—in the next Place, the nobleScotchGeneral is come, and we’ll side with him.Free.Ay, ay, all side with him.1 Pren.Your Reason, Captain, for we have acted too much without Reason already.2 Pren.Are we sure of him, Captain?Capt.Oh, he’ll doubtless declare for the King, Boys.All.Hay,Viva le Roy, viva le Monk!Capt.Next, I hear there’s a Proclamation coming out to dissolve the Committee of no Safety.All.Good, good.Capt.And I hope you are all brave enough to stand to your Loyal Principles with your Lives and Fortunes.All.We’ll die for the Royal Interest.Capt.In the next Place, there’s another Proclamation come out.2 Pren.This Captain is a Man of rare Intelligence; but for what, Captain?Capt.Why—to—hang us all, if we do not immediately depart to our respective Vocations: How like you that, my Lads?2 Pren.Hum—hang’d! I’ll e’en home again.1 Pren.And I too, I do not like this hanging.2 Pren.A Man looks but scurvily with his Neck awry.3 Pren.Ay, ay, we’ll home.Capt.Why, now you shew what precious Men you are—the King wou’d be finely hop’d up with such Rascals, that for fear of a little hanging would desert his Cause; a Pox upon you all, I here discharge ye——Take back your Coward Hands and give me Hearts.[Flings ’em a Scroll.I scorn to fight with such mean-spirited Rogues;I did but try your boasted Courages.Lov.Brave Boy.Lov.andFree.We’ll die with thee, Captain—All.Oh, noble Captain, we recant—1 Pren.We recant, dear Captain, we’ll die, one and all.All.One and all, one and all.Capt.Why, so there’s some trustingto you now.3 Pren.But is there such a Proclamation, Captain?Capt.There is; but anon, when the Crop-ear’d Sheriff begins to read it, let every Man enlarge his Voice, and cry, no Proclamation, no Proclamation.All.Agreed, agreed.Lov.Brave noble Lads, hold still your Resolution, And when your leisure Hours will give ye leave, Drink the King’s Health, here’s Gold for you to do so.Free.Take my Mite too, brave Lads.[Gives ’em Gold.All.Hay!Vivathe braveHeroicks!EnterAnanias Gogle.Ana.Hum, what have we here, a Street-Conventicle—or aMutiny? Yea, verily, it is a Mutiny—What meaneth this Appearance in hostile manner, in open Street, by Day-light?Capt.Hah! one of the sanctify’d Lay Elders, one of the Fiends of the Nation, that go about like roaring Lions seeking whom they may devour.Lov.Who, Mr.Ananiasthe Padder?Ana.Bear witness, Gentlemen all, he calls me Highway-man; thou shalt be hang’d for Scandal on the Brethren.Lov.I’ll prove what I say, Sirrah; do you not rob on the High-way i’ th’ Pulpit? rob the Sisters, and preach it lawful for them to rob their Husbands; rob Men even of their Consciences and Honesty; nay rather than stand out, rob poor Wenches of their Bodkins and Thimbles?Ana.I commit ye; here, Soldiers, I charge ye in the Name of—of—marry, I know not who, in my Name, and the good People ofEngland, take ’em to safe Custody.Capt.How, lay hold of honest Gentlemen! Noble Cavaliers, knock him down.All.Knock him down, knock him down.Free.Hold, worthy Youths; the Rascal has done me Service.Ana.[Pulling off his Hat to ’em all.]Ye look like Citizens, that evil Spirit is entered in unto you, oh Men of London! that ye have changed your Note, like Birds of evil Omen; that you go astray after new Lights, or rather no Lights, and commit Whoredom with your Fathers Idols, even in the midst of the Holy City, which the Saints have prepared for the Elect, the Chosen ones.Capt.Hark ye, Sirrah, leave preaching, and fall to declaring for us, or thou art mortal.Ana.Nay, I say nay, I will die in my Calling—yea, I will fall a Sacrifice to the Good Old Cause; abomination ye with a mighty Hand, and will destroy, demolish and confound your Idols, those heathenish Malignants whom you follow, even with Thunder and Lightning, even as a Field of Corn blasted by a strong Blast.Lov.Knock him down!All.Down with Dagon, down with him!EnterHewsonwith Guards.Hews.Ah, Rogues, have I caught ye napping?[They all surround him and his Red-Coats.All.Whoop Cobler, Whoop Cobler![The Boys,Lov.andFree.Corp.and Sold. beat offHewsonand his Party.Ana.gets a Sword, and fights too.Scene II.Changes to a Chamber in La.Lambert’sHouse.Enter L.Lam.andGill.Gill.I’ve had no time to ask your Highness how you slept to Night; but that’s a needless Question.L. Lam.How mean you? do you suspect my Virtue? do you believeLovelessdares attempt any thing against my Honour? No,Gilliflower, he acted all things so like a Gentleman, that every moment takes my Heart more absolutely.Gill.My Lord departed highly satisfied.L. Lam.She is not worthy of Intrigues of Love, that cannot manage a silly Husband as she pleases—but,Gilliflower, you forget that this is Council day.Gill.No, but I do not, Madam, some important Suitors wait already.Enter L.Des.and L.Fleetwood.L. Lam.Your Servant, MadamDesbro, thou’rt welcome—Gilliflower, are all things ready in the Council-Chamber?We that are great must sometimes stoop to Acts,That have at least some shew of Charity;We must redress the Grievance of our People.L. Fleet.She speaks as she were Queen, but I shall put a spoke in her rising Wheel of Fortune, or my Lord’s Politicks fail him.[Scene draws off, Table with Papers: Chairs round it.L. Lam.Where are the Ladies of the Council?—how remiss they are in their Attendance on us.L. Fleet.Us! Heav’ns, I can scarce endure this Insolence!—We will take care to mind ’em of their Duty—L. Lam.We, poor Creature! how simply Majesty becomes her?[They all sitting down, enter L.Cromwelangrily, and takes her Place, L.Lam.uppermost.—Madam, as I take it, at our last sitting, our Pleasure was, that you shou’d sit no more.Crom.Your Pleasure! Is that the General Voice? This is my Place in spite of thee, and all thy fawning Faction,and I shall keep it, when thou perhaps, shalt be an humble Suppliant here at my Foot-stool.L. Lam.I smile at thee.Cram.Do, and cringe; ’tis thy business to make thee popular.But ’tis not that—Nor thy false Beauty that will serve thy Ends.L. Lam.Rail on; declining Majesty may be excus’d,Call in the Women that attend for redress of Grievances.[Ex.Page.EnterPagewith Women, andLovelessdress’d as a Woman.Gentlewomen, what’s your Bus’ness with us?Lov.Gentlewomen! some of us are Ladies.L. Lam.Ladies in good time; by what Authority, and from whom do you derive your Title of Ladies?L. Fleet.Have a care how you usurp what is not your own!Lov.How the Devil rebukes Sin![Aside.L. Des.From whom had you your Honours, Women?Lov.From our Husbands.Gill.Husbands, who are they, and of what standing?2 Lady.Of no long standing, I confess.Gill.That’s a common Grievance indeed.L. Des.And ought to be redress’d.L. Lam.And that shall be taken into consideration; write it down,Gilliflower; who made your Husband a Knight, Woman?Lov.Oliverthe first, an’t please ye.L. Lam.Of horrid Memory; write that down—who yours?2 Lady.Richardthe fourth, an’t like your Honour.Gill.Of sottish Memory; shall I write that down too?L. Des.Most remarkably.Crom.Heav’ns! Can I hear this Profanation of our Royal Family?[Aside.L. Lam.I wonder with what impudenceNollandDickcou’d Knightify your Husbands; for ’tis a Rule in Heraldry, that none can make a Knight but him that is one; ’tisSancha Pancha’sCase inDon Quixot.Crom.How dare you question my Husband’s Authority?[Rises in Anger.Who nobly won his Honour in the Field,Not like thy sneaking Lord who gain’d his TitleFrom his Wife’s gay Love-tricks—Bartering her Honour for his Coronet.L. Lam.Thou ly’st, my Husband earn’d it with his Sword,Braver and juster than thy bold Usurper,Who waded to his Glory through a SeaOf Royal Blood—L. Des.SureLovelesshas done good on her, and converted her.L. Fleet.Madam, I humbly beg you will be patient, you’ll ruin all my Lord’s Designs else—Women, proceed to your Grievances, both publick and private.Lov.I petition for a Pension; my Husband, deceas’d, was a constant active man, in all the late Rebellion, against the Man; he plunder’d myLordCapel, he betray’d his dearest FriendBrown Bushel, who trusted his Life in his Hands, and several others; plundering their Wives and Children even to their Smocks.L. Lam.Most considerable Service, and ought to be consider’d.2 Lady.And most remarkably, at the Trial of the late Man, I spit in’s Face, and betray’d theEarl ofHollandto the Parliament.Crom.In the King’s Face, you mean—it shew’d your Zeal for the Good Cause.2 Lady.And ’twas my Husband that headed the Rabble, to pull downGogandMagog, the Bishops, broke the Idols in the Windows, and turn’d the Churches into Stables and Dens of Thieves; rob’d the Altar of the Cathedral of the twelve pieces of Plate call’d the twelve Apostles, turn’d eleven of ’em into Money, and keptJudasfor his own use at home.L. Fleet.On my Word, most wisely perform’d, note it down—3 Lady.And my Husband made Libels on the Man from the first Troubles to this day, defam’d and profan’d the Woman and her Children, printed all the Man’s Letters to the Woman with Burlesque Marginal Notes, pull’d down the sumptuous Shrines in Churches, and with the golden and Popish Spoils adorn’d his own Houses and Chimney-Pieces.L. Lam.We shall consider these great Services.Lov.To what a height is Impudence arriv’d?[Aside.L. Lam.Proceed to private Grievances.Lov.An’t please your Honours, my Husband prays too much; which both hinders his private bus’ness at home, and his publick Services to the Commonwealth—L. Lam.A double Grievance—set it down, Gilliflower.Lov.And then he rails against the Whore of Babylon, and all my neighbours think he calls me Whore.Cram.A most unpardonable fault.L. Lam.We’ll have that rectify’d, it will concern us.Lov.Then he never kisses me, but he says a long Grace, which is more mortifying than inviting.L. Des.That is the fault of all the new Saints, which is the reason their Wives take a pious care, as much as in them lies, to send ’em to Heaven, by making ’em Cuckolds.L. Fleet.A very charitable Work, and ought to be encourag’d.[Lovelessgives in a Petition toGilliflower.Gill.The humble Petition of the LadyMake-shift.[Reads.—Heav’ns, Madam, here are many thousand Hands to’t of the distressed Sex.All.Read it.Gill. Reads.]Whereas there pass’dan Act,June24th, against Fornication and Adultery, to the great detriment of most of the young Ladies, Gentlewomen, and Commonalty ofEngland, and to the utter decay of many whole Families, especially when married to old Men; your Petitioners most humbly beg your Honours will take this great Grievance into mature Consideration, and the said Act may be repealed.—A Blessing on ’em, they shall have my Hand too.L. Lam.We acknowledge, there are many Grievances in that Act; but there are many Conveniences too, for it ties up the villanous Tongues of Men from boasting our Favours.Crom.But as it lays a Scandal on Society—tis troublesome, Society being the very Life of a Republick—Petersthe first, andMartinthe second.Lov.But in a Free-State, why shou’d we not be free?L. Des.Why not? we stand for the Liberty and Property of our Sex, and will present it to the Committee of Safety.Lov.Secondly, we desire the Heroicks, vulgarly call’d the Malignant, may not be look’d on as Monsters, for assuredly they are Men; and that it may not be charg’d to us as a Crime to keep ’em company, for they are honest Men.2 Lady.And some of ’em Men that will stand to their Principles.L. Lam.Is there no other honest Men that will do as well?3 Lady.Good Men are scarce.L. Lam.They’re all for Heroicks, sure ’tis the mode to love ’em—I cannot blame ’em.[Aside.Lov.And that when we go toMorning and Evening Lectures, toTantlings, or elsewhere, and either before or after visit a private Friend, it may be actionable for the wicked to scandalize us, by terming of it, abusing the Creature, when ’tis harmless recreating the Creature.All.Reason, Reason.Lov.Nor that any Husband shou’d interrupt his Wife, when at her private Devotion.EnterPage.L. Lam.I have been too late sensible of that Grievance.Gill.And, Madam, I wou’d humbly pray a Patent for Scolding, to ease my Spleen.Page.An please your Highness, here’s a Messenger arriv’d Post with Letters from my Lord the General.[Ex.Page.L. Lam.Greater Affairs—oblige us to break up the Council.[Rises, the Women retire.EnterPagewith Messenger, or Letters.—What means this haste?[Opens, and reads ’em.Crom.Hah, bless my Eye-sight, she looks pale,—now red again; some turn to his Confusion, Heav’n, I beseech thee.
Thou art that Man whom Love has rais’d above him;Whom every Grace and every Charm thou hastConspire to make thee mightier to my Soul;AndOliver, illustriousOliver,Was yet far short of thee.
Thou art that Man whom Love has rais’d above him;
Whom every Grace and every Charm thou hast
Conspire to make thee mightier to my Soul;
AndOliver, illustriousOliver,
Was yet far short of thee.
Lov.He was the Monarch then whose Spoils I triumph in.
L. Lam.They were design’d too for Trophies to the young and gay.Ah,Loveless!that I cou’d reward thy YouthWith something that might make thee more than Man,As well as to givethe best of Women to thee—[Rises, takes him by the Hand, leads him to the Table. He starts.—Behold this gay, this wondrous glorious thing.
L. Lam.They were design’d too for Trophies to the young and gay.
Ah,Loveless!that I cou’d reward thy Youth
With something that might make thee more than Man,
As well as to givethe best of Women to thee—[Rises, takes him by the Hand, leads him to the Table. He starts.
—Behold this gay, this wondrous glorious thing.
Lov.Hah—a Crown—and Scepter!Have I been all this whileSo near the sacred Relicks of my King;And found no awful Motion in my Blood,Nothing that mov’d sacred Devotion in me?[Kneels.—Hail sacred Emblem of great Majesty,Thou that hast circled more DivinityThan the great Zodiack that surrounds the World.I ne’er was blest with sight of thee till now,But in much reverenc’d Pictures—[Rises and bows.
Lov.Hah—a Crown—and Scepter!
Have I been all this while
So near the sacred Relicks of my King;
And found no awful Motion in my Blood,
Nothing that mov’d sacred Devotion in me?[Kneels.
—Hail sacred Emblem of great Majesty,
Thou that hast circled more Divinity
Than the great Zodiack that surrounds the World.
I ne’er was blest with sight of thee till now,
But in much reverenc’d Pictures—[Rises and bows.
L. Lam.Is’t not a lovely thing?
Lov.There’s such Divinity i’ th’ very Form on’t,Had I been conscious I’d been near the Temple,Where this bright Relick of the glorious MartyrHad been enshrin’d, ’t had spoil’d my soft Devotion.—’Tis Sacrilege to dally where it is;A rude, a saucy Treason to approach itWith an unbended Knee: for Heav’ns sake, Madam,Let us not be profane in our Delights,Either withdraw, or hide that glorious Object.
Lov.There’s such Divinity i’ th’ very Form on’t,
Had I been conscious I’d been near the Temple,
Where this bright Relick of the glorious Martyr
Had been enshrin’d, ’t had spoil’d my soft Devotion.
—’Tis Sacrilege to dally where it is;
A rude, a saucy Treason to approach it
With an unbended Knee: for Heav’ns sake, Madam,
Let us not be profane in our Delights,
Either withdraw, or hide that glorious Object.
L. Lam.Thou art a Fool, the very sight of this—Raises my Pleasure higher:Methinks I give a Queen into thy Arms,And where I love I cannot give enough;[Softly.—Wou’d I cou’d set it on thy Head for ever,’Twou’d not become my simple LordThe thousandth part so well.[Goes to put it on his Head,he puts it back.
L. Lam.Thou art a Fool, the very sight of this—
Raises my Pleasure higher:
Methinks I give a Queen into thy Arms,
And where I love I cannot give enough;[Softly.
—Wou’d I cou’d set it on thy Head for ever,
’Twou’d not become my simple Lord
The thousandth part so well.[Goes to put it on his Head,he puts it back.
Lov.Forbear, and do not play with holy things;Let us retire, and love as Mortals shou’d,Not imitate the Gods, and spoil our Joys.
Lov.Forbear, and do not play with holy things;
Let us retire, and love as Mortals shou’d,
Not imitate the Gods, and spoil our Joys.
L. Lam.Lovely, and unambitious!What hopes have I of all your promis’d Constancy,Whilst this which possibly e’er long may adorn my Brow,And ought to raise me higher in your Love,Ought to transform you even to Adoration,Shall poorly make you vanish from its Lustre?Methinks the very Fancy of a QueenIs worth a thousand Mistresses of less illustrious Rank.
L. Lam.Lovely, and unambitious!
What hopes have I of all your promis’d Constancy,
Whilst this which possibly e’er long may adorn my Brow,
And ought to raise me higher in your Love,
Ought to transform you even to Adoration,
Shall poorly make you vanish from its Lustre?
Methinks the very Fancy of a Queen
Is worth a thousand Mistresses of less illustrious Rank.
Lov.What, every pageant Queen? you might from thence inferI’d fall in love with every little Actress, becauseShe acts the Queen for half an hour,But then the gaudy Robe is laid aside.
Lov.What, every pageant Queen? you might from thence infer
I’d fall in love with every little Actress, because
She acts the Queen for half an hour,
But then the gaudy Robe is laid aside.
L. Lam.I’ll pardon the Comparison in you.
Lov.I do not doubt your Power of being a Queen,But trust, it will not last.How truly brave would your great Husband be,If, whilst he may, he paid this mighty DebtTo the right Owner!If, whilst he has the Army in his Power,He made a true and lawful use of it,To settle our great Master in his Throne;And by an Act so glorious raise his NameEven above the Title of a King.
Lov.I do not doubt your Power of being a Queen,
But trust, it will not last.
How truly brave would your great Husband be,
If, whilst he may, he paid this mighty Debt
To the right Owner!
If, whilst he has the Army in his Power,
He made a true and lawful use of it,
To settle our great Master in his Throne;
And by an Act so glorious raise his Name
Even above the Title of a King.
L. Lam.You love me not, that would persuade me from My Glory.
EnterGilliflower.
Gill.Oh, Madam, the Lords are all got merry, as they call it, and are all dancing hither.
L. Lam.What, at theirOliverianFrolicks?—DearLoveless, withdraw, I wou’d not give the fond believing Fool a Jealousy of me.
Gill.Withdraw, Madam? ’tis impossible, he must run just into their Mouths.
L. Lam.I’m ill at these Intrigues, being us’d to Lovers that still came with such Authority, that modestlymy Husband wou’d withdraw—but Loveless is in danger, therefore take care he be not seen.
Gill.Heav’ns! they are coming, there’s no Retreat—
L. Lam.Lie down on the Couch—and cover him you with the Foot-Carpet—So, give me my Prayer-Book.
[He lies down along on the Couch, they cover him with the Carpet: L.Lam.takes her Book, sits down on his Feet, and leans on the Back of the Couch reading;Gill.stands at t’other end, they enter dancing as before.
—What Insolence is this? do you not hear me, you—Sots—whom Gaiety and Dancing do so ill become.
War.[Singing.]Welcome,Joan Sanderson, welcome, welcome.[Goes to take her out, she strikes him.
Wons, Madam, that’s no part o’ th’ Dance.
L. Lam.No, but ’tis part of a reward for your Insolence, Which possibly your Head shall answer for—
Lam.Pardon him, my Dear, he meant no Disrespect to thee.
L. Lam.How dare you interrupt my Devotion, Sirrah? Be gone with all your filthy ill-bred Crew.
[Lam.sits down onLov.
Lam.My only Dear, be patient; hah!—Something moves under me; Treason, Treason![He rises.
[Lov.rolls off, and turnsLam.over, the rest of the Men run out crying Treason, Treason, overthrowing the Lights, putting ’em out.
L. Lam.Treason, Treason! my Lord, my Lord!
Lam.Lights there, a Plot, a Popish Plot, Lights!
L. Lam.The Crown, the Crown, guard the Crown!
[She groping about, findsLov.by his Clothes, knows him.
—Here, take this Key, the next room is my Bed-chamber, Secure yourself a moment.—[Ex.Loveless.
Lights there, the Crown—who art thou?[Takes hold ofLam.
Lam.’Tis I.
L. Lam.Ah, my Lord, what’s the matter?—
Lam.Nay, my Lady, I ask you what’s the matter?
EnterPagewith Lights.
By Heaven, all is not well; hark ye, my fine she Politician, who was it you had hid beneath this Carpet?
L. Lam.Heav’ns! dost hear him,Gilliflower?Sure the Fellow’s mad.
Gill.Alack, my Lord, are you out of your honourable Wits? Heav’n knows, my Lady was at her Devotion.
Lam.Baud, come, confess thy self to be one. At her Devotion! yes, with a He Saint.
Gill.Ah! Gad forbid the Saints should be so wicked.
L. Lam.Hark ye, thou little sniveling Hypocrite, who hast no Virtue but a little Conduct in Martial Discipline; who hast by Perjuries, Cheats, and pious Villanies, wound thy self up into the Rabble’s Favour, where thou mayst stand till some more great in Roguery remove thee from that height, or to the Gallows, if the King return: hast thou the Impudence to charge my Virtue?
Lam.I know not, Madam, whether that Virtue you boast were lost, or only stak’t, and ready for the Gamester; but I am sure a Man was hid under this Carpet.
L. Lam.Oh Heav’ns, a Man!
Gill.Lord, a Man! Are you sure ’twas a Man, my Lord?—Some villanous Malignant, I’ll warrant.
Lam.It may be so.
Gill.Alack, the Wickedness of these Heroicks to hide under Carpets; why they’l have the impudence to hide under our Petticoats shortly, if your Highness take ’em not down.[To LadyLam.
Lam.I do believe so; Death—a Cuckold? shall that black Cloud shade all my rising Fame?
L. Lam.Cuckold! Why, is that Name so great a Stranger to ye,Or has your rising Fame made ye forgetHow long that Cloud has hung upon your Brow?—’Twas once the height of your Ambition, Sir;When you were a poor-sneaking Slave toCromwell,Then you cou’d cringe, and sneer, and hold the Door,And give him every Opportunity,Had not my Piety defeated your Endeavours.
L. Lam.Cuckold! Why, is that Name so great a Stranger to ye,
Or has your rising Fame made ye forget
How long that Cloud has hung upon your Brow?
—’Twas once the height of your Ambition, Sir;
When you were a poor-sneaking Slave toCromwell,
Then you cou’d cringe, and sneer, and hold the Door,
And give him every Opportunity,
Had not my Piety defeated your Endeavours.
Lam.That was for Glory,Who wou’d not be a Cuckold to be great?—IfCromwellleap’d into my Saddle once,I’ll step into his Throne for’t: but, to be pointed atBy Rascals that I—rule—’tis insupportable.
Lam.That was for Glory,
Who wou’d not be a Cuckold to be great?
—IfCromwellleap’d into my Saddle once,
I’ll step into his Throne for’t: but, to be pointed at
By Rascals that I—rule—’tis insupportable.
L. Lam.How got this Fellow drunk? call up my Officers!Who durst deliver him this quantity of Wine?Send strait in my Name, to summon all theDrunken Committee of Safety into my Presence.By Heav’n, I’ll show you, Sir—yes they shallSee what a fine King they’re like to haveIn Honest, Gadly, Sober, WiseJack Lambert.—Nay, I’ll do’t; d’ye think to take away my Honour thus?I, who by my sole Politicks and ManagementHave set you up, Villain of Villains, Sirrah.—Away—summon ’em all.[ToGilliflower.
L. Lam.How got this Fellow drunk? call up my Officers!
Who durst deliver him this quantity of Wine?
Send strait in my Name, to summon all the
Drunken Committee of Safety into my Presence.
By Heav’n, I’ll show you, Sir—yes they shall
See what a fine King they’re like to have
In Honest, Gadly, Sober, WiseJack Lambert.
—Nay, I’ll do’t; d’ye think to take away my Honour thus?
I, who by my sole Politicks and Management
Have set you up, Villain of Villains, Sirrah.
—Away—summon ’em all.[ToGilliflower.
Lam.Stay—be not so rash; who was beneath the Carpet?
L. Lam.I will not answer thee.
Lam.Nor any living thing?
L. Lam.No Creature in the Room, thou silly Ideot, butGilliflowerand I—at our Devotion, praying to Heav’n for your Success to morrow—and am I thus rewarded?
[Weeps,Gill.weeps too.
Lam.My Soul, I cannot bear the Sight of Tears From these dear Charming Eyes.
L. Lam.No matter, Sir, the Committee shall right me.
Lam.Upon my Knees I ask thy Pardon, Dear; by all that’s good, I wou’d have sworn I’d felt something stir beneath me as I sat, which threw me over.
L. Lam.Only your Brains turn’d round with too much drinking and dancing, Exercises you are not us’d to—go sleep, and settle ’em, for I’ll not deign to Bed with you to night—retire, as e’er you hope to have my Aid in your Advancement to the Crown.
Lam.I’m gone—and once more pardon my Mistake.[Bows, and goes out. Ex.Gill.
L. Lam.—So, this fighting Fool, so worshipp’d by the Rabble,How meanly can a Woman make him sneak?—The happy Night’s our own—[ToLoveless.
L. Lam.—So, this fighting Fool, so worshipp’d by the Rabble,
How meanly can a Woman make him sneak?—
The happy Night’s our own—[ToLoveless.
EnterGill.Loveless.
Lov.Excellent Creature, how I do adore thee!
L. Lam.But you, perhaps, are satisfied already—
Lov.Never; shou’dst thou be kind to all Eternity. Thou hast one Virtue more, I pay thee Homage for; I heard from the Alcove how great a Mistress thou art in the dear Mystery of Jilting.
L. Lam.That’s the first Lesson Women learn in Conventicles, Religion teaches those Maxims to our Sex: by this
Kings are deposed, and Commonwealths are rul’d;By Jilting all the Universe is fool’d.[Exeunt.
Kings are deposed, and Commonwealths are rul’d;
By Jilting all the Universe is fool’d.[Exeunt.
ACT V.
Scene I.A Street.
EnterCorporal, half drest; with Soldiers, Joyner, and Felt-maker.
Cor.Ha, Rogues, the City-Boys are up in Arms; brave Boys, all for the King now!
Felt.Have a care what you say, Sir; but as to the City’s being in Mutiny, that makes well for us: we shall fall to our old Trade of plundering; something will fall to the Righteous, and there is Plunder enough.
Cor.You plunder, Sirrah! knock him down, and carry him into the Guard-room, and secure him.
[Two Soldiers seize him.
1 Sold.They say the Committee of Safety sate all Night at GeneralLambert’s, about some great Affair—some rare Change, Rogues.
2 Sold.Yes, and to put off Sorrow, they say, were all right reverendly drunk too.
Cor.I suppose there is some heavenly matter in hand; there was Treason cried out at the General’s last night, and the Committee of no Safety all ran away.
1 Sold.Or rather reel’d away.
Cor.The Ladies squeak’d, the Lords fled, and all the House was up in Arms.
Felt.Yea, and with Reason they say; for the Pope in disguise was found under the Lady’s Bed, and two huge Jesuits as big asthe tallIrish-man, with Blunderbusses; having, as ’tis said, a Design to steal the Crown, now in Custody of the General—
2 Sold.Good lack, is’t possible?
Joyn.Nay, Sir, ’tis true, and is’t not time we look’d about us?
Cor.A Pox upon ye all for lying Knaves—secure ’em both on the Guard till farther Order—and let us into th’ City, Boys: hay forLombard-Street.
2 Sold.Ay, hay forLombard-Street; there’s a Shop I have mark’d out for my own already.
1 Sold.There’s a handsom Citizen’s Wife, that I have an Eye upon, her Husband’s a rich Banker, I’ll take t’one with t’other.
Joyn.You are mistaken, Sir, that Plunder is reserv’d for us, if they begin to mutiny; that wicked City that is so weary of a Commonwealth.
2 Sold.Yes, they’re afraid of the Monster they themselves have made.
EnterLov.andFree.in disguise.
Cor.Hah, my noble Colonel! what, in disguise!
Free.We have made our Escapes—and hope to see better times shortly, the nobleScotchGeneral is come, Boys.
EnterCaptainof the Prentices, and a great Gang with him, arm’d with Swords, Staffs, &c.
Capt.Come, my Lads, since you have made me Captain, I’ll lead you bravely on; I’ll die in the Cause, or bring you off with Victory.
1 Pren.Here’s a Club shall do some Execution: I’ll beat outHewson’st’other Eye; I scorn to take him on the blind side.
Capt.In the first Place, we must all sign a Petition to my Lord Mayor.—
2 Pren.Petitions! we’ll have no Petition, Captain; we are for Club-Law, Captain.
Capt.Obey, or I leave you.
All.Obey, Obey.
Capt.Look ye, we’ll petition for an honest Free Parliament I say.
1 Pren.No Parliament, no Parliament, we have had too much of that Mischief already, Captain.
All.No Parliament, no Parliament.
Capt.Farewel, Gentlemen, I thought I might have been heard.
Free.Death, Sirs, you shall hear the Captain out.
All.We obey, we obey.
Capt.I say an honest Free Parliament, not one pick’d and chosen by Faction; but such an one as shall do our Bus’ness, Lads, and bring in theGreat Heroick.
All.Ay, ay, the Great Heroick, the Great Heroick.
Lov.A fine Youth, and shou’d be encourag’d.
Capt.Good—in the next Place, the nobleScotchGeneral is come, and we’ll side with him.
Free.Ay, ay, all side with him.
1 Pren.Your Reason, Captain, for we have acted too much without Reason already.
2 Pren.Are we sure of him, Captain?
Capt.Oh, he’ll doubtless declare for the King, Boys.
All.Hay,Viva le Roy, viva le Monk!
Capt.Next, I hear there’s a Proclamation coming out to dissolve the Committee of no Safety.
All.Good, good.
Capt.And I hope you are all brave enough to stand to your Loyal Principles with your Lives and Fortunes.
All.We’ll die for the Royal Interest.
Capt.In the next Place, there’s another Proclamation come out.
2 Pren.This Captain is a Man of rare Intelligence; but for what, Captain?
Capt.Why—to—hang us all, if we do not immediately depart to our respective Vocations: How like you that, my Lads?
2 Pren.Hum—hang’d! I’ll e’en home again.
1 Pren.And I too, I do not like this hanging.
2 Pren.A Man looks but scurvily with his Neck awry.
3 Pren.Ay, ay, we’ll home.
Capt.Why, now you shew what precious Men you are—the King wou’d be finely hop’d up with such Rascals, that for fear of a little hanging would desert his Cause; a Pox upon you all, I here discharge ye——Take back your Coward Hands and give me Hearts.[Flings ’em a Scroll.
I scorn to fight with such mean-spirited Rogues;I did but try your boasted Courages.
I scorn to fight with such mean-spirited Rogues;
I did but try your boasted Courages.
Lov.Brave Boy.
Lov.andFree.We’ll die with thee, Captain—
All.Oh, noble Captain, we recant—
1 Pren.We recant, dear Captain, we’ll die, one and all.
All.One and all, one and all.
Capt.Why, so there’s some trustingto you now.
3 Pren.But is there such a Proclamation, Captain?
Capt.There is; but anon, when the Crop-ear’d Sheriff begins to read it, let every Man enlarge his Voice, and cry, no Proclamation, no Proclamation.
All.Agreed, agreed.
Lov.Brave noble Lads, hold still your Resolution, And when your leisure Hours will give ye leave, Drink the King’s Health, here’s Gold for you to do so.
Free.Take my Mite too, brave Lads.[Gives ’em Gold.
All.Hay!Vivathe braveHeroicks!
EnterAnanias Gogle.
Ana.Hum, what have we here, a Street-Conventicle—or aMutiny? Yea, verily, it is a Mutiny—What meaneth this Appearance in hostile manner, in open Street, by Day-light?
Capt.Hah! one of the sanctify’d Lay Elders, one of the Fiends of the Nation, that go about like roaring Lions seeking whom they may devour.
Lov.Who, Mr.Ananiasthe Padder?
Ana.Bear witness, Gentlemen all, he calls me Highway-man; thou shalt be hang’d for Scandal on the Brethren.
Lov.I’ll prove what I say, Sirrah; do you not rob on the High-way i’ th’ Pulpit? rob the Sisters, and preach it lawful for them to rob their Husbands; rob Men even of their Consciences and Honesty; nay rather than stand out, rob poor Wenches of their Bodkins and Thimbles?
Ana.I commit ye; here, Soldiers, I charge ye in the Name of—of—marry, I know not who, in my Name, and the good People ofEngland, take ’em to safe Custody.
Capt.How, lay hold of honest Gentlemen! Noble Cavaliers, knock him down.
All.Knock him down, knock him down.
Free.Hold, worthy Youths; the Rascal has done me Service.
Ana.[Pulling off his Hat to ’em all.]Ye look like Citizens, that evil Spirit is entered in unto you, oh Men of London! that ye have changed your Note, like Birds of evil Omen; that you go astray after new Lights, or rather no Lights, and commit Whoredom with your Fathers Idols, even in the midst of the Holy City, which the Saints have prepared for the Elect, the Chosen ones.
Capt.Hark ye, Sirrah, leave preaching, and fall to declaring for us, or thou art mortal.
Ana.Nay, I say nay, I will die in my Calling—yea, I will fall a Sacrifice to the Good Old Cause; abomination ye with a mighty Hand, and will destroy, demolish and confound your Idols, those heathenish Malignants whom you follow, even with Thunder and Lightning, even as a Field of Corn blasted by a strong Blast.
Lov.Knock him down!
All.Down with Dagon, down with him!
EnterHewsonwith Guards.
Hews.Ah, Rogues, have I caught ye napping?
[They all surround him and his Red-Coats.
All.Whoop Cobler, Whoop Cobler!
[The Boys,Lov.andFree.Corp.and Sold. beat offHewsonand his Party.Ana.gets a Sword, and fights too.
Scene II.Changes to a Chamber in La.Lambert’sHouse.
Enter L.Lam.andGill.
Gill.I’ve had no time to ask your Highness how you slept to Night; but that’s a needless Question.
L. Lam.How mean you? do you suspect my Virtue? do you believeLovelessdares attempt any thing against my Honour? No,Gilliflower, he acted all things so like a Gentleman, that every moment takes my Heart more absolutely.
Gill.My Lord departed highly satisfied.
L. Lam.She is not worthy of Intrigues of Love, that cannot manage a silly Husband as she pleases—but,Gilliflower, you forget that this is Council day.
Gill.No, but I do not, Madam, some important Suitors wait already.
Enter L.Des.and L.Fleetwood.
L. Lam.Your Servant, MadamDesbro, thou’rt welcome—Gilliflower, are all things ready in the Council-Chamber?We that are great must sometimes stoop to Acts,That have at least some shew of Charity;We must redress the Grievance of our People.
L. Lam.Your Servant, MadamDesbro, thou’rt welcome—
Gilliflower, are all things ready in the Council-Chamber?
We that are great must sometimes stoop to Acts,
That have at least some shew of Charity;
We must redress the Grievance of our People.
L. Fleet.She speaks as she were Queen, but I shall put a spoke in her rising Wheel of Fortune, or my Lord’s Politicks fail him.
[Scene draws off, Table with Papers: Chairs round it.
L. Lam.Where are the Ladies of the Council?—how remiss they are in their Attendance on us.
L. Fleet.Us! Heav’ns, I can scarce endure this Insolence!—We will take care to mind ’em of their Duty—
L. Lam.We, poor Creature! how simply Majesty becomes her?
[They all sitting down, enter L.Cromwelangrily, and takes her Place, L.Lam.uppermost.
—Madam, as I take it, at our last sitting, our Pleasure was, that you shou’d sit no more.
Crom.Your Pleasure! Is that the General Voice? This is my Place in spite of thee, and all thy fawning Faction,and I shall keep it, when thou perhaps, shalt be an humble Suppliant here at my Foot-stool.
L. Lam.I smile at thee.
Cram.Do, and cringe; ’tis thy business to make thee popular.But ’tis not that—Nor thy false Beauty that will serve thy Ends.
Cram.Do, and cringe; ’tis thy business to make thee popular.
But ’tis not that—
Nor thy false Beauty that will serve thy Ends.
L. Lam.Rail on; declining Majesty may be excus’d,Call in the Women that attend for redress of Grievances.
L. Lam.Rail on; declining Majesty may be excus’d,
Call in the Women that attend for redress of Grievances.
[Ex.Page.
EnterPagewith Women, andLovelessdress’d as a Woman.
Gentlewomen, what’s your Bus’ness with us?
Lov.Gentlewomen! some of us are Ladies.
L. Lam.Ladies in good time; by what Authority, and from whom do you derive your Title of Ladies?
L. Fleet.Have a care how you usurp what is not your own!
Lov.How the Devil rebukes Sin![Aside.
L. Des.From whom had you your Honours, Women?
Lov.From our Husbands.
Gill.Husbands, who are they, and of what standing?
2 Lady.Of no long standing, I confess.
Gill.That’s a common Grievance indeed.
L. Des.And ought to be redress’d.
L. Lam.And that shall be taken into consideration; write it down,Gilliflower; who made your Husband a Knight, Woman?
Lov.Oliverthe first, an’t please ye.
L. Lam.Of horrid Memory; write that down—who yours?
2 Lady.Richardthe fourth, an’t like your Honour.
Gill.Of sottish Memory; shall I write that down too?
L. Des.Most remarkably.
Crom.Heav’ns! Can I hear this Profanation of our Royal Family?[Aside.
L. Lam.I wonder with what impudenceNollandDickcou’d Knightify your Husbands; for ’tis a Rule in Heraldry, that none can make a Knight but him that is one; ’tisSancha Pancha’sCase inDon Quixot.
Crom.How dare you question my Husband’s Authority?[Rises in Anger.Who nobly won his Honour in the Field,Not like thy sneaking Lord who gain’d his TitleFrom his Wife’s gay Love-tricks—Bartering her Honour for his Coronet.
Crom.How dare you question my Husband’s Authority?[Rises in Anger.
Who nobly won his Honour in the Field,
Not like thy sneaking Lord who gain’d his Title
From his Wife’s gay Love-tricks—
Bartering her Honour for his Coronet.
L. Lam.Thou ly’st, my Husband earn’d it with his Sword,Braver and juster than thy bold Usurper,Who waded to his Glory through a SeaOf Royal Blood—
L. Lam.Thou ly’st, my Husband earn’d it with his Sword,
Braver and juster than thy bold Usurper,
Who waded to his Glory through a Sea
Of Royal Blood—
L. Des.SureLovelesshas done good on her, and converted her.
L. Fleet.Madam, I humbly beg you will be patient, you’ll ruin all my Lord’s Designs else—Women, proceed to your Grievances, both publick and private.
Lov.I petition for a Pension; my Husband, deceas’d, was a constant active man, in all the late Rebellion, against the Man; he plunder’d myLordCapel, he betray’d his dearest FriendBrown Bushel, who trusted his Life in his Hands, and several others; plundering their Wives and Children even to their Smocks.
L. Lam.Most considerable Service, and ought to be consider’d.
2 Lady.And most remarkably, at the Trial of the late Man, I spit in’s Face, and betray’d theEarl ofHollandto the Parliament.
Crom.In the King’s Face, you mean—it shew’d your Zeal for the Good Cause.
2 Lady.And ’twas my Husband that headed the Rabble, to pull downGogandMagog, the Bishops, broke the Idols in the Windows, and turn’d the Churches into Stables and Dens of Thieves; rob’d the Altar of the Cathedral of the twelve pieces of Plate call’d the twelve Apostles, turn’d eleven of ’em into Money, and keptJudasfor his own use at home.
L. Fleet.On my Word, most wisely perform’d, note it down—
3 Lady.And my Husband made Libels on the Man from the first Troubles to this day, defam’d and profan’d the Woman and her Children, printed all the Man’s Letters to the Woman with Burlesque Marginal Notes, pull’d down the sumptuous Shrines in Churches, and with the golden and Popish Spoils adorn’d his own Houses and Chimney-Pieces.
L. Lam.We shall consider these great Services.
Lov.To what a height is Impudence arriv’d?[Aside.
L. Lam.Proceed to private Grievances.
Lov.An’t please your Honours, my Husband prays too much; which both hinders his private bus’ness at home, and his publick Services to the Commonwealth—
L. Lam.A double Grievance—set it down, Gilliflower.
Lov.And then he rails against the Whore of Babylon, and all my neighbours think he calls me Whore.
Cram.A most unpardonable fault.
L. Lam.We’ll have that rectify’d, it will concern us.
Lov.Then he never kisses me, but he says a long Grace, which is more mortifying than inviting.
L. Des.That is the fault of all the new Saints, which is the reason their Wives take a pious care, as much as in them lies, to send ’em to Heaven, by making ’em Cuckolds.
L. Fleet.A very charitable Work, and ought to be encourag’d.
[Lovelessgives in a Petition toGilliflower.
Gill.The humble Petition of the LadyMake-shift.[Reads.
—Heav’ns, Madam, here are many thousand Hands to’t of the distressed Sex.
All.Read it.
Gill. Reads.]Whereas there pass’dan Act,June24th, against Fornication and Adultery, to the great detriment of most of the young Ladies, Gentlewomen, and Commonalty ofEngland, and to the utter decay of many whole Families, especially when married to old Men; your Petitioners most humbly beg your Honours will take this great Grievance into mature Consideration, and the said Act may be repealed.—A Blessing on ’em, they shall have my Hand too.
L. Lam.We acknowledge, there are many Grievances in that Act; but there are many Conveniences too, for it ties up the villanous Tongues of Men from boasting our Favours.
Crom.But as it lays a Scandal on Society—tis troublesome, Society being the very Life of a Republick—Petersthe first, andMartinthe second.
Lov.But in a Free-State, why shou’d we not be free?
L. Des.Why not? we stand for the Liberty and Property of our Sex, and will present it to the Committee of Safety.
Lov.Secondly, we desire the Heroicks, vulgarly call’d the Malignant, may not be look’d on as Monsters, for assuredly they are Men; and that it may not be charg’d to us as a Crime to keep ’em company, for they are honest Men.
2 Lady.And some of ’em Men that will stand to their Principles.
L. Lam.Is there no other honest Men that will do as well?
3 Lady.Good Men are scarce.
L. Lam.They’re all for Heroicks, sure ’tis the mode to love ’em—I cannot blame ’em.[Aside.
Lov.And that when we go toMorning and Evening Lectures, toTantlings, or elsewhere, and either before or after visit a private Friend, it may be actionable for the wicked to scandalize us, by terming of it, abusing the Creature, when ’tis harmless recreating the Creature.
All.Reason, Reason.
Lov.Nor that any Husband shou’d interrupt his Wife, when at her private Devotion.
EnterPage.
L. Lam.I have been too late sensible of that Grievance.
Gill.And, Madam, I wou’d humbly pray a Patent for Scolding, to ease my Spleen.
Page.An please your Highness, here’s a Messenger arriv’d Post with Letters from my Lord the General.
[Ex.Page.
L. Lam.Greater Affairs—oblige us to break up the Council.[Rises, the Women retire.
EnterPagewith Messenger, or Letters.
—What means this haste?[Opens, and reads ’em.
Crom.Hah, bless my Eye-sight, she looks pale,—now red again; some turn to his Confusion, Heav’n, I beseech thee.