Chapter 21

LINENOTES:Enter Bertramand the Maid called Diana. Ff.[2]Titled goddess]Titl'd, goddessCapell.[8]stern]F3 F4.sterneF1 F2.stoneCollier (Collier MS.).[13]o']Rowe.a'Ff.[14]strive ... vows:]drive against my vows:Johnson conj.shrive—against my voiceId. conj.[19]barely]baselyRowe (ed. 2).[21-31]Dia.'Tis not ... opinion]Dia.'Tis not ... witness.Ber.Then ... ill?Dia.This ... opinionStaunton conj.[21]makes]F1.makeF2 F3 F4.[23, 24]What ... me,]But ... by?Jackson conj. (inverting the lines).What ... witness: then, pray]Bert.What ... witness.Diana.Then, prayJohnson conj.[23-29]What ... against him]Erased in Collier MS.[23]swear not by,]swear, not 'bides,Warburton.[24]pray you]prayPope.[25]Jove's]JovesF3 F4.IouesF1 F2.love'sGrant White (Johnson conj.).God'sEdd. conj.See note (xv).attributes]F1.attributeF2 F3 F4.[28]by]toJohnson conj.whom]whenSinger.[28, 29]whom I ... him]and to protest I love Whom I will work againstBecket conj.[32]holy-cruel]Theobald.holy cruelFf.love]my loveStaunton conj.[35, 36]desires, Who then recover]Rowe (ed. 2).desires, Who then recoversFf.desires, Which then recoverPope.desire, Who then recoversCapell.[38]rope's ... scarre]F1 F2.ropes ... scarreF3.ropes ... scarF4.hopes ... affairsRowe.hopes ... sceneMalone.mopes in ... scarorjapes of ... scatheBecket conj.hopes ... scareHenley conj.hopes ... causeMitford conj.hopes ... warSinger (ed. 1).hopes ... scarreSinger (Knight conj.).slopes ... scarreCollier conj.ropes ... staireId. conj.hopes ... caseDyce.hopes ... snareStaunton.hopes ... suitCollier (Collier MS.).may cope's ... sorteWilliams conj.[44]were]'twereCollier (Collier MS.).[53]And I'll]An ICollier conj.[65]done]noneCollier MS.[66]I have]F1 F2.I'veF3 F4.[71]had]hathCapell conj.hasGrant White.[73]Frenchmen]menHanmer.[74]Marry]Marry 'emTheobald (Warburton).[74]I]F1 F2.I'leF3 F4.I'dTheobald (Warburton).Lords] Captains Ff.

LINENOTES:

Enter Bertramand the Maid called Diana. Ff.

[2]Titled goddess]Titl'd, goddessCapell.

[8]stern]F3 F4.sterneF1 F2.stoneCollier (Collier MS.).

[13]o']Rowe.a'Ff.

[14]strive ... vows:]drive against my vows:Johnson conj.shrive—against my voiceId. conj.

[19]barely]baselyRowe (ed. 2).

[21-31]Dia.'Tis not ... opinion]Dia.'Tis not ... witness.Ber.Then ... ill?Dia.This ... opinionStaunton conj.

[21]makes]F1.makeF2 F3 F4.

[23, 24]What ... me,]But ... by?Jackson conj. (inverting the lines).

What ... witness: then, pray]Bert.What ... witness.Diana.Then, prayJohnson conj.

[23-29]What ... against him]Erased in Collier MS.

[23]swear not by,]swear, not 'bides,Warburton.

[24]pray you]prayPope.

[25]Jove's]JovesF3 F4.IouesF1 F2.love'sGrant White (Johnson conj.).God'sEdd. conj.See note (xv).

attributes]F1.attributeF2 F3 F4.

[28]by]toJohnson conj.

whom]whenSinger.

[28, 29]whom I ... him]and to protest I love Whom I will work againstBecket conj.

[32]holy-cruel]Theobald.holy cruelFf.

love]my loveStaunton conj.

[35, 36]desires, Who then recover]Rowe (ed. 2).desires, Who then recoversFf.desires, Which then recoverPope.desire, Who then recoversCapell.

[38]rope's ... scarre]F1 F2.ropes ... scarreF3.ropes ... scarF4.hopes ... affairsRowe.hopes ... sceneMalone.mopes in ... scarorjapes of ... scatheBecket conj.hopes ... scareHenley conj.hopes ... causeMitford conj.hopes ... warSinger (ed. 1).hopes ... scarreSinger (Knight conj.).slopes ... scarreCollier conj.ropes ... staireId. conj.hopes ... caseDyce.hopes ... snareStaunton.hopes ... suitCollier (Collier MS.).may cope's ... sorteWilliams conj.

[44]were]'twereCollier (Collier MS.).

[53]And I'll]An ICollier conj.

[65]done]noneCollier MS.

[66]I have]F1 F2.I'veF3 F4.

[71]had]hathCapell conj.hasGrant White.

[73]Frenchmen]menHanmer.

[74]Marry]Marry 'emTheobald (Warburton).

[74]I]F1 F2.I'leF3 F4.I'dTheobald (Warburton).

Lords] Captains Ff.

Enter the two FrenchLordsand some two or threeSoldiers.First Lord.You have not given him his mother's letter?Sec. Lord.I have delivered it an hour since: there issomething in't that stings his nature; for on the reading ithe changed almost into another man.5First Lord.He has much worthy blame laid upon himfor shaking off so good a wife and so sweet a lady.Sec. Lord.Especially he hath incurred the everlastingdispleasure of the king, who had even tuned his bounty tosing happiness to him. I will tell you a thing, but you10shall let it dwell darkly with you.First Lord.When you have spoken it, 'tis dead, and Iam the grave of it.Sec. Lord.He hath perverted a young gentlewomanhere in Florence, of a most chaste renown; and this night15he fleshes his will in the spoil of her honour: he hath givenher his monumental ring, and thinks himselfmadein theunchaste composition.First Lord.Now, Goddelayour rebellion! as we areourselves, what things are we!20Sec. Lord.Merely our own traitors. And as in thecommon course of all treasons, we still see them revealthemselves,tillthey attain to their abhorred ends, so hethat in this action contrives against his ownnobility, in hisproper stream o'erflows himself.25First Lord.Is it notmeantdamnable in us, to betrumpetersof our unlawful intents? We shall not thenhave his company to-night?Sec. Lord.Not till after midnight; for he is dieted tohis hour.30First Lord.That approachesapace: I would gladlyhave him see hiscompany anatomized, that he might takea measure of his ownjudgements, wherein so curiouslyhe had setthiscounterfeit.Sec. Lord.We will not meddle with him till he come;35for his presence must be the whip of the other.First Lord.In the mean time, what hear you ofthesewars?Sec. Lord.I hear there is an overture of peace.First Lord.Nay, I assure you, a peaceconcluded.40Sec. Lord.What will Count Rousillon do then? willhe travel higher, or return again into France?First Lord.I perceive, by this demand, you are notaltogether of his council.Sec. Lord.Let it be forbid, sir; so should I be a great45deal of his act.First Lord.Sir, his wife some two months since fledfrom his house: her pretenceisa pilgrimage to Saint Jaquesle Grand; which holy undertaking withmostaustere sanctimonyshe accomplished; and, there residing,thetenderness50of her nature becameasa prey to her grief; in fine, made agroan of her last breath, and now she sings in heaven.Sec. Lord.How is this justified?First Lord.Thestrongerpart of it by her own letters,whichmakesher story true, even to the point of her death:55her deathitself, which could not be her office to say is come,wasfaithfully confirmed by the rector of the place.Sec. Lord.Hath the count all this intelligence?First Lord.Ay, and the particular confirmations,pointfrom point, to the full arming of the verity.60Sec. Lord.I am heartily sorry that he'll be glad of this.First Lord.How mightily sometimes we make us comfortsof our losses!Sec. Lord.And how mightily some other times wedrown ourgainin tears! The great dignity that his valour65hath here acquired for him shall at home be encounteredwith a shame as ample.First Lord.The web of our life is of a mingled yarn,good and ill together: our virtues would be proud, if ourfaults whipped them not; and our crimes would despair, if70they were not cherished by our virtues.Enter aMessenger.How now! where's your master?Serv.He met the Duke in the street, sir, of whom hehath taken a solemn leave: his lordship will next morningfor France. The Duke hath offered him letters ofcommendations75to the king.Sec. Lord.They shall be no more than needful there,if they were more than they can commend.First Lord.They cannot be too sweet for the king'startness. Here's his lordship now.EnterBertram.80How now, my lord! is't not after midnight?Ber.I have to-night dispatched sixteen businesses, amonth's length a-piece, by an abstract of success: I havecongiedwith the Duke, done my adieu with his nearest;buried a wife, mourned for her; writ to my lady mother I85am returning; entertained my convoy; and between thesemain parcels of dispatcheffectedmany nicer needs: thelast was the greatest, but that I have not ended yet.Sec. Lord.If the business be of any difficulty, and thismorning your departure hence, it requires haste of your90lordship.Ber.I mean, the business is not ended, as fearing tohear of it hereafter. But shall we have this dialogue betweenthe fool and the soldier? Come, bring forth thiscounterfeitmodule, hasdeceived me, like a double-meaning95prophesier.Sec. Lord.Bring himforth: he has sat i' the stocks allnight, poor gallant knave.Ber.No matter; his heels have deserved it, in usurpinghis spurs so long. How does he carry himself?100Sec. Lord.I have told your lordship already, the stockscarry him. But to answer you as you would be understood;he weeps like a wench that had shed her milk: hehath confessed himself to Morgan, whom he supposes to bea friar, from the time of his remembrance to this very instant105disaster of his settingi' thestocks: and what thinkyou he hath confessed?Ber.Nothing of me,has a'?Sec. Lord.His confession is taken, and it shall be readto his face: if your lordship be in't, as I believe you are,110you must have the patience tohearit.EnterParollesguarded, andFirst Soldier.Ber.A plague upon him! muffled! he can say nothingof me:hush,hush!First Lord.Hoodmancomes! Portotartarosa.First Sold.He calls for the tortures: what will you115say without 'em?Par.I willconfess what I know without constraint: ifye pinch me like a pasty, I can say no more.First Sold.Bosko chimurcho.First Lord.Boblibindo chicurmurco.120First Sold.You are a merciful general. Our generalbids you answer to what I shall ask you out of a note.Par.And truly, as I hope to live.First Sold.[reads]First demand of him how many horse theDuke is strong. What say you to that?125Par.Five or six thousand; but very weak and unserviceable:the troops are all scattered, and the commandersvery poor rogues, upon my reputation and credit and as Ihope to live.First Sold.Shall I set down your answer so?130Par.Do: I'll take the sacrament on 't, how and whichway you will.Ber.All's one to him. What a past-saving slave is this!First Lord.You'redeceived, my lord: this is MonsieurParolles, the gallant militarist,—that was his own phrase,—135that had the wholetheoricof war in the knot of his scarf,and the practice in the chape of his dagger.Sec. Lord.I will never trust a man again for keepinghis sword clean, nor believe he can have every thing inhim by wearing his apparel neatly.140First Sold.Well, that's set down.Par.Five or six thousand horse, I said,—I will saytrue,—or thereabouts, set down, for I'll speak truth.First Lord.He's very near the truth in this.Ber.But I con him no thanks for't, in the nature he145delivers it.Par.Poor rogues, I pray you, say.First Sold.Well, that's set down.Par.I humbly thank you, sir: a truth's a truth, therogues are marvellous poor.150First Sold.[reads]Demand of him, of what strength they area-foot.What say you to that?Par.By my troth, sir, if I were tolive thispresent hour,I will tell true. Let me see: Spurio, a hundred and fifty;Sebastian, so many; Corambus, so many; Jaques, so many;155Guiltian, Cosmo, Lodowick, and Gratii, two hundred andfiftyeach; mine own company, Chitopher, Vaumond, Bentii,two hundredand fiftyeach: so that the muster-file, rottenand sound, upon my life, amounts not to fifteen thousandpoll; half of the which dare not shake the snow from off160their cassocks, lest they shake themselves to pieces.Ber.What shall be done to him?First Lord.Nothing, but let him have thanks. Demandof him mycondition, and what credit I have with the Duke.First Sold.Well, that's set down.[Reads]You shall demand165of him, whether one Captain Dumain bei' thecamp, a Frenchman;what his reputation is with the Duke; what his valour, honesty,and expertness inwars; or whether he thinks it were not possible,with well-weighing sums of gold, to corrupt him to a revolt.What say you to this? what do you know of it?170Par.I beseech you, let me answer to theparticularoftheinter'gatories: demand them singly.First Sold.Do you know this Captain Dumain?Par.I know him:a'was a botcher's 'prentice in Paris,from whence he was whipped for getting theshrieve'sfool175with child,—a dumb innocent, that could not say himnay.Ber.Nay, by your leave, hold your hands; though Iknow his brains are forfeit to the next tile that falls.First Sold.Well, is this captain in the Duke of Florence'scamp?180Par.Upon my knowledge, he is, and lousy.First Lord.Nay, look not so upon me; we shall hearofyour lordshipanon.First Sold.What is his reputation with the Duke?Par.The Duke knows him for no other but a poor185officer of mine; and writ to methisother day to turn himouto' theband: I think I have his letter in my pocket.First Sold.Marry, we'll search.Par.In good sadness, I do not know; either it is there,or it is upona filewith the Duke's other letters in my tent.190First Sold.Here 'tis; here's a paper: shall I read it toyou?Par.I do not know if it be it or no.Ber.Our interpreter does it well.First Lord.Excellently.195First Sold.[reads]Dian, the count's a fool, and full ofgold,—Par.That is not the Duke's letter, sir; that is an advertisementto a proper maid in Florence, one Diana, totake heed of the allurement of one Count Rousillon, afoolish idle boy, but for all that very ruttish: I pray you,200sir, put it up again.First Sold.Nay, I'll read it first, by your favour.Par.My meaning in't, I protest, was very honest inthe behalf of the maid; for I knew the young count to bea dangerous and lascivious boy, who is a whale to virginity205and devours up all the fry it finds.Ber.Damnable both-sides rogue!First Sold.[reads]When he swears oaths, bid him drop gold, and take it;After he scores, he never pays the score:Half won is matchwell made;match, and well make it;210He ne'er pays after-debts, take it before;And say a soldier, Dian, told thee this,Men are to mell with, boys arenotto kiss:For count of this, thecount'sa fool, I know it,Who pays before, but notwhenhe does owe it.215Thine, as he vowed to thee in thine ear,Parolles.Ber.He shall be whipped through the army with thisrhymein'sforehead.Sec. Lord.This is your devoted friend, sir, the manifold220linguist and the armipotent soldier.Ber.I could endure any thing before but a cat, andnowhe's a cat to me.First Sold.I perceive, sir, bythegeneral's looks, weshall be fain to hang you.225Par.My life, sir, in any case: not that I am afraid todie; but that, my offences being many, I would repent outthe remainder of nature: let me live, sir, in a dungeon,i' thestocks,orany where, so I may live.First Sold.We'll see what may be done, so you confess230freely; therefore, once more to this Captain Dumain:you have answered to his reputation with the Duke and tohis valour: what is his honesty?Par.He will steal, sir,an eggout of a cloister: forrapes and ravishments he parallels Nessus: he professes235not keeping of oaths;in breaking 'emhe is stronger thanHercules: he will lie, sir, with such volubility, that youwould think truth were a fool: drunkenness is his best virtue,for he will be swine-drunk; and in his sleep he doeslittle harm, save to his bed-clothes about him; but they240know his conditions and lay him in straw. I have butlittle more to say, sir, of his honesty: he has every thingthat an honest man should not have; what an honest manshould have, he has nothing.First Lord.I begin to love him for this.245Ber.For this description of thine honesty? A poxupon him for me,he'smore and more a cat.First Sold.What say you to his expertness in war?Par.Faith, sir,hasled the drum before the Englishtragedians; to belie him, I will not, and more of his soldiership250I know not; except, in that country he had thehonour to be the officer at a place there called Mile-end,to instruct for the doubling of files: I would do the manwhat honour I can, but of this I am not certain.First Lord.He hathout-villainedvillany so far, that255the rarity redeems him.Ber.A pox on him, he's a cat still.First Sold.His qualities being at this poor price, Ineed not to ask you if gold will corrupt him to revolt.Par.Sir, for aquart d'écuhe will sell the fee-simple of260his salvation, the inheritance of it; and cut the entail fromall remainders, and a perpetual successionfor itperpetually.First Sold.What's his brother, the other Captain Dumain?Sec. Lord.Why does he ask him of me?265First Sold.What's he?Par.E'en a crowo' thesame nest; not altogether sogreat as the first in goodness, but greater a great deal inevil: he excels his brother for a coward, yet his brother isreputed one of the best that is: in a retreat he outruns any270lackey; many, in coming on hehasthe cramp.First Sold.If your life be saved, will you undertake tobetray the Florentine?Par.Ay, and the captain of his horse, Count Rousillon.First Sold.I'll whisper with the general, and know his275pleasure.Par.[Aside]I'll no more drumming; a plague of alldrums! Only to seem to deserve well, and to beguile thesupposition of that lascivious young boy the count, have Irun intothis danger. Yet who would have suspected an280ambush where I was taken?First Sold.There is no remedy, sir, but you must die:the general says, you that have so traitorously discovered thesecrets of your army and made such pestiferous reports ofmen very nobly held, can serve the world for no honest use;285therefore you must die. Come, headsman, off with his head.Par.O Lord, sir, let me live, or let me see my death!First Sold.That shall you, and take your leave of allyour friends.[Unblinding him.So, look about you: know you any here?290Ber.Good morrow, noble captain.Sec. Lord.God bless you, Captain Parolles.First Lord.God save you, noble captain.Sec. Lord.Captain, what greeting will you to my LordLafeu? I am for France.295First Lord.Good captain, will you give me a copy ofthe sonnetyou writ to Diana in behalf of the Count Rousillon?anI were not a very coward, I'ld compel it of you:but fare you well.[Exeunt Bertram and Lords.First Sold.You are undone, captain, all but your300scarf; that has a knot on't yet.Par.Who cannot be crushed with a plot?First Sold.If you could find out a country where butwomen were that had received so much shame, you mightbegin an impudent nation. Fare ye well, sir; I am for305France too: we shall speak of you there.[Exit, with Soldiers.Par.Yet am Ithankful: if my heart were great,'Twould burst at this. Captain I'll be no more;But I will eat and drink, and sleep as softAs captain shall: simply the thing I am310Shall make me live. Who knows himself a braggart,Let him fear this, for it will come to passThat every braggart shall be foundan ass.Rust, sword! cool, blushes! and, Parolles, liveSafest in shame! being fool'd, by foolery thrive!315There's place and means for every man alive.I'll after them.[Exit

Enter the two FrenchLordsand some two or threeSoldiers.

First Lord.You have not given him his mother's letter?

Sec. Lord.I have delivered it an hour since: there issomething in't that stings his nature; for on the reading ithe changed almost into another man.

Sec. Lord.I have delivered it an hour since: there is

something in't that stings his nature; for on the reading it

he changed almost into another man.

5First Lord.He has much worthy blame laid upon himfor shaking off so good a wife and so sweet a lady.

First Lord.He has much worthy blame laid upon him

for shaking off so good a wife and so sweet a lady.

Sec. Lord.Especially he hath incurred the everlastingdispleasure of the king, who had even tuned his bounty tosing happiness to him. I will tell you a thing, but you10shall let it dwell darkly with you.

Sec. Lord.Especially he hath incurred the everlasting

displeasure of the king, who had even tuned his bounty to

sing happiness to him. I will tell you a thing, but you

shall let it dwell darkly with you.

First Lord.When you have spoken it, 'tis dead, and Iam the grave of it.

First Lord.When you have spoken it, 'tis dead, and I

am the grave of it.

Sec. Lord.He hath perverted a young gentlewomanhere in Florence, of a most chaste renown; and this night15he fleshes his will in the spoil of her honour: he hath givenher his monumental ring, and thinks himselfmadein theunchaste composition.

Sec. Lord.He hath perverted a young gentlewoman

here in Florence, of a most chaste renown; and this night

he fleshes his will in the spoil of her honour: he hath given

her his monumental ring, and thinks himselfmadein the

unchaste composition.

First Lord.Now, Goddelayour rebellion! as we areourselves, what things are we!

First Lord.Now, Goddelayour rebellion! as we are

ourselves, what things are we!

20Sec. Lord.Merely our own traitors. And as in thecommon course of all treasons, we still see them revealthemselves,tillthey attain to their abhorred ends, so hethat in this action contrives against his ownnobility, in hisproper stream o'erflows himself.

Sec. Lord.Merely our own traitors. And as in the

common course of all treasons, we still see them reveal

themselves,tillthey attain to their abhorred ends, so he

that in this action contrives against his ownnobility, in his

proper stream o'erflows himself.

25First Lord.Is it notmeantdamnable in us, to betrumpetersof our unlawful intents? We shall not thenhave his company to-night?

First Lord.Is it notmeantdamnable in us, to be

trumpetersof our unlawful intents? We shall not then

have his company to-night?

Sec. Lord.Not till after midnight; for he is dieted tohis hour.

Sec. Lord.Not till after midnight; for he is dieted to

his hour.

30First Lord.That approachesapace: I would gladlyhave him see hiscompany anatomized, that he might takea measure of his ownjudgements, wherein so curiouslyhe had setthiscounterfeit.

First Lord.That approachesapace: I would gladly

have him see hiscompany anatomized, that he might take

a measure of his ownjudgements, wherein so curiously

he had setthiscounterfeit.

Sec. Lord.We will not meddle with him till he come;35for his presence must be the whip of the other.

Sec. Lord.We will not meddle with him till he come;

for his presence must be the whip of the other.

First Lord.In the mean time, what hear you ofthesewars?

First Lord.In the mean time, what hear you ofthese

wars?

Sec. Lord.I hear there is an overture of peace.

First Lord.Nay, I assure you, a peaceconcluded.

40Sec. Lord.What will Count Rousillon do then? willhe travel higher, or return again into France?

Sec. Lord.What will Count Rousillon do then? will

he travel higher, or return again into France?

First Lord.I perceive, by this demand, you are notaltogether of his council.

First Lord.I perceive, by this demand, you are not

altogether of his council.

Sec. Lord.Let it be forbid, sir; so should I be a great45deal of his act.

Sec. Lord.Let it be forbid, sir; so should I be a great

deal of his act.

First Lord.Sir, his wife some two months since fledfrom his house: her pretenceisa pilgrimage to Saint Jaquesle Grand; which holy undertaking withmostaustere sanctimonyshe accomplished; and, there residing,thetenderness50of her nature becameasa prey to her grief; in fine, made agroan of her last breath, and now she sings in heaven.

First Lord.Sir, his wife some two months since fled

from his house: her pretenceisa pilgrimage to Saint Jaques

le Grand; which holy undertaking withmostaustere sanctimony

she accomplished; and, there residing,thetenderness

of her nature becameasa prey to her grief; in fine, made a

groan of her last breath, and now she sings in heaven.

Sec. Lord.How is this justified?

First Lord.Thestrongerpart of it by her own letters,whichmakesher story true, even to the point of her death:55her deathitself, which could not be her office to say is come,wasfaithfully confirmed by the rector of the place.

First Lord.Thestrongerpart of it by her own letters,

whichmakesher story true, even to the point of her death:

her deathitself, which could not be her office to say is come,

wasfaithfully confirmed by the rector of the place.

Sec. Lord.Hath the count all this intelligence?

First Lord.Ay, and the particular confirmations,pointfrom point, to the full arming of the verity.

First Lord.Ay, and the particular confirmations,point

from point, to the full arming of the verity.

60Sec. Lord.I am heartily sorry that he'll be glad of this.

Sec. Lord.I am heartily sorry that he'll be glad of this.

First Lord.How mightily sometimes we make us comfortsof our losses!

First Lord.How mightily sometimes we make us comforts

of our losses!

Sec. Lord.And how mightily some other times wedrown ourgainin tears! The great dignity that his valour65hath here acquired for him shall at home be encounteredwith a shame as ample.

Sec. Lord.And how mightily some other times we

drown ourgainin tears! The great dignity that his valour

hath here acquired for him shall at home be encountered

with a shame as ample.

First Lord.The web of our life is of a mingled yarn,good and ill together: our virtues would be proud, if ourfaults whipped them not; and our crimes would despair, if70they were not cherished by our virtues.

First Lord.The web of our life is of a mingled yarn,

good and ill together: our virtues would be proud, if our

faults whipped them not; and our crimes would despair, if

they were not cherished by our virtues.

Enter aMessenger.

How now! where's your master?

Serv.He met the Duke in the street, sir, of whom hehath taken a solemn leave: his lordship will next morningfor France. The Duke hath offered him letters ofcommendations75to the king.

Serv.He met the Duke in the street, sir, of whom he

hath taken a solemn leave: his lordship will next morning

for France. The Duke hath offered him letters ofcommendations

to the king.

Sec. Lord.They shall be no more than needful there,if they were more than they can commend.

Sec. Lord.They shall be no more than needful there,

if they were more than they can commend.

First Lord.They cannot be too sweet for the king'startness. Here's his lordship now.

First Lord.They cannot be too sweet for the king's

tartness. Here's his lordship now.

EnterBertram.

80How now, my lord! is't not after midnight?

How now, my lord! is't not after midnight?

Ber.I have to-night dispatched sixteen businesses, amonth's length a-piece, by an abstract of success: I havecongiedwith the Duke, done my adieu with his nearest;buried a wife, mourned for her; writ to my lady mother I85am returning; entertained my convoy; and between thesemain parcels of dispatcheffectedmany nicer needs: thelast was the greatest, but that I have not ended yet.

Ber.I have to-night dispatched sixteen businesses, a

month's length a-piece, by an abstract of success: I have

congiedwith the Duke, done my adieu with his nearest;

buried a wife, mourned for her; writ to my lady mother I

am returning; entertained my convoy; and between these

main parcels of dispatcheffectedmany nicer needs: the

last was the greatest, but that I have not ended yet.

Sec. Lord.If the business be of any difficulty, and thismorning your departure hence, it requires haste of your90lordship.

Sec. Lord.If the business be of any difficulty, and this

morning your departure hence, it requires haste of your

lordship.

Ber.I mean, the business is not ended, as fearing tohear of it hereafter. But shall we have this dialogue betweenthe fool and the soldier? Come, bring forth thiscounterfeitmodule, hasdeceived me, like a double-meaning95prophesier.

Ber.I mean, the business is not ended, as fearing to

hear of it hereafter. But shall we have this dialogue between

the fool and the soldier? Come, bring forth this

counterfeitmodule, hasdeceived me, like a double-meaning

prophesier.

Sec. Lord.Bring himforth: he has sat i' the stocks allnight, poor gallant knave.

Sec. Lord.Bring himforth: he has sat i' the stocks all

night, poor gallant knave.

Ber.No matter; his heels have deserved it, in usurpinghis spurs so long. How does he carry himself?

Ber.No matter; his heels have deserved it, in usurping

his spurs so long. How does he carry himself?

100Sec. Lord.I have told your lordship already, the stockscarry him. But to answer you as you would be understood;he weeps like a wench that had shed her milk: hehath confessed himself to Morgan, whom he supposes to bea friar, from the time of his remembrance to this very instant105disaster of his settingi' thestocks: and what thinkyou he hath confessed?

Sec. Lord.I have told your lordship already, the stocks

carry him. But to answer you as you would be understood;

he weeps like a wench that had shed her milk: he

hath confessed himself to Morgan, whom he supposes to be

a friar, from the time of his remembrance to this very instant

disaster of his settingi' thestocks: and what think

you he hath confessed?

Ber.Nothing of me,has a'?

Sec. Lord.His confession is taken, and it shall be readto his face: if your lordship be in't, as I believe you are,110you must have the patience tohearit.

Sec. Lord.His confession is taken, and it shall be read

to his face: if your lordship be in't, as I believe you are,

you must have the patience tohearit.

EnterParollesguarded, andFirst Soldier.

Ber.A plague upon him! muffled! he can say nothingof me:hush,hush!

Ber.A plague upon him! muffled! he can say nothing

of me:hush,hush!

First Lord.Hoodmancomes! Portotartarosa.

First Sold.He calls for the tortures: what will you115say without 'em?

First Sold.He calls for the tortures: what will you

say without 'em?

Par.I willconfess what I know without constraint: ifye pinch me like a pasty, I can say no more.

Par.I willconfess what I know without constraint: if

ye pinch me like a pasty, I can say no more.

First Sold.Bosko chimurcho.

First Lord.Boblibindo chicurmurco.

120First Sold.You are a merciful general. Our generalbids you answer to what I shall ask you out of a note.

First Sold.You are a merciful general. Our general

bids you answer to what I shall ask you out of a note.

Par.And truly, as I hope to live.

First Sold.[reads]First demand of him how many horse theDuke is strong. What say you to that?

First Sold.[reads]First demand of him how many horse the

Duke is strong. What say you to that?

125Par.Five or six thousand; but very weak and unserviceable:the troops are all scattered, and the commandersvery poor rogues, upon my reputation and credit and as Ihope to live.

Par.Five or six thousand; but very weak and unserviceable:

the troops are all scattered, and the commanders

very poor rogues, upon my reputation and credit and as I

hope to live.

First Sold.Shall I set down your answer so?

130Par.Do: I'll take the sacrament on 't, how and whichway you will.

Par.Do: I'll take the sacrament on 't, how and which

way you will.

Ber.All's one to him. What a past-saving slave is this!

First Lord.You'redeceived, my lord: this is MonsieurParolles, the gallant militarist,—that was his own phrase,—135that had the wholetheoricof war in the knot of his scarf,and the practice in the chape of his dagger.

First Lord.You'redeceived, my lord: this is Monsieur

Parolles, the gallant militarist,—that was his own phrase,—

that had the wholetheoricof war in the knot of his scarf,

and the practice in the chape of his dagger.

Sec. Lord.I will never trust a man again for keepinghis sword clean, nor believe he can have every thing inhim by wearing his apparel neatly.

Sec. Lord.I will never trust a man again for keeping

his sword clean, nor believe he can have every thing in

him by wearing his apparel neatly.

140First Sold.Well, that's set down.

First Sold.Well, that's set down.

Par.Five or six thousand horse, I said,—I will saytrue,—or thereabouts, set down, for I'll speak truth.

Par.Five or six thousand horse, I said,—I will say

true,—or thereabouts, set down, for I'll speak truth.

First Lord.He's very near the truth in this.

Ber.But I con him no thanks for't, in the nature he145delivers it.

Ber.But I con him no thanks for't, in the nature he

delivers it.

Par.Poor rogues, I pray you, say.

First Sold.Well, that's set down.

Par.I humbly thank you, sir: a truth's a truth, therogues are marvellous poor.

Par.I humbly thank you, sir: a truth's a truth, the

rogues are marvellous poor.

150First Sold.[reads]Demand of him, of what strength they area-foot.What say you to that?

First Sold.[reads]Demand of him, of what strength they are

a-foot.What say you to that?

Par.By my troth, sir, if I were tolive thispresent hour,I will tell true. Let me see: Spurio, a hundred and fifty;Sebastian, so many; Corambus, so many; Jaques, so many;155Guiltian, Cosmo, Lodowick, and Gratii, two hundred andfiftyeach; mine own company, Chitopher, Vaumond, Bentii,two hundredand fiftyeach: so that the muster-file, rottenand sound, upon my life, amounts not to fifteen thousandpoll; half of the which dare not shake the snow from off160their cassocks, lest they shake themselves to pieces.

Par.By my troth, sir, if I were tolive thispresent hour,

I will tell true. Let me see: Spurio, a hundred and fifty;

Sebastian, so many; Corambus, so many; Jaques, so many;

Guiltian, Cosmo, Lodowick, and Gratii, two hundred and

fiftyeach; mine own company, Chitopher, Vaumond, Bentii,

two hundredand fiftyeach: so that the muster-file, rotten

and sound, upon my life, amounts not to fifteen thousand

poll; half of the which dare not shake the snow from off

their cassocks, lest they shake themselves to pieces.

Ber.What shall be done to him?

First Lord.Nothing, but let him have thanks. Demandof him mycondition, and what credit I have with the Duke.

First Lord.Nothing, but let him have thanks. Demand

of him mycondition, and what credit I have with the Duke.

First Sold.Well, that's set down.[Reads]You shall demand165of him, whether one Captain Dumain bei' thecamp, a Frenchman;what his reputation is with the Duke; what his valour, honesty,and expertness inwars; or whether he thinks it were not possible,with well-weighing sums of gold, to corrupt him to a revolt.What say you to this? what do you know of it?

First Sold.Well, that's set down.[Reads]You shall demand

of him, whether one Captain Dumain bei' thecamp, a Frenchman;

what his reputation is with the Duke; what his valour, honesty,

and expertness inwars; or whether he thinks it were not possible,

with well-weighing sums of gold, to corrupt him to a revolt.

What say you to this? what do you know of it?

170Par.I beseech you, let me answer to theparticularoftheinter'gatories: demand them singly.

Par.I beseech you, let me answer to theparticularof

theinter'gatories: demand them singly.

First Sold.Do you know this Captain Dumain?

Par.I know him:a'was a botcher's 'prentice in Paris,from whence he was whipped for getting theshrieve'sfool175with child,—a dumb innocent, that could not say himnay.

Par.I know him:a'was a botcher's 'prentice in Paris,

from whence he was whipped for getting theshrieve'sfool

with child,—a dumb innocent, that could not say himnay.

Ber.Nay, by your leave, hold your hands; though Iknow his brains are forfeit to the next tile that falls.

Ber.Nay, by your leave, hold your hands; though I

know his brains are forfeit to the next tile that falls.

First Sold.Well, is this captain in the Duke of Florence'scamp?

First Sold.Well, is this captain in the Duke of Florence's

camp?

180Par.Upon my knowledge, he is, and lousy.

Par.Upon my knowledge, he is, and lousy.

First Lord.Nay, look not so upon me; we shall hearofyour lordshipanon.

First Lord.Nay, look not so upon me; we shall hear

ofyour lordshipanon.

First Sold.What is his reputation with the Duke?

Par.The Duke knows him for no other but a poor185officer of mine; and writ to methisother day to turn himouto' theband: I think I have his letter in my pocket.

Par.The Duke knows him for no other but a poor

officer of mine; and writ to methisother day to turn him

outo' theband: I think I have his letter in my pocket.

First Sold.Marry, we'll search.

Par.In good sadness, I do not know; either it is there,or it is upona filewith the Duke's other letters in my tent.

Par.In good sadness, I do not know; either it is there,

or it is upona filewith the Duke's other letters in my tent.

190First Sold.Here 'tis; here's a paper: shall I read it toyou?

First Sold.Here 'tis; here's a paper: shall I read it to

you?

Par.I do not know if it be it or no.

Ber.Our interpreter does it well.

First Lord.Excellently.

195First Sold.[reads]Dian, the count's a fool, and full ofgold,—

First Sold.[reads]Dian, the count's a fool, and full ofgold,—

Par.That is not the Duke's letter, sir; that is an advertisementto a proper maid in Florence, one Diana, totake heed of the allurement of one Count Rousillon, afoolish idle boy, but for all that very ruttish: I pray you,200sir, put it up again.

Par.That is not the Duke's letter, sir; that is an advertisement

to a proper maid in Florence, one Diana, to

take heed of the allurement of one Count Rousillon, a

foolish idle boy, but for all that very ruttish: I pray you,

sir, put it up again.

First Sold.Nay, I'll read it first, by your favour.

Par.My meaning in't, I protest, was very honest inthe behalf of the maid; for I knew the young count to bea dangerous and lascivious boy, who is a whale to virginity205and devours up all the fry it finds.

Par.My meaning in't, I protest, was very honest in

the behalf of the maid; for I knew the young count to be

a dangerous and lascivious boy, who is a whale to virginity

and devours up all the fry it finds.

Ber.Damnable both-sides rogue!

First Sold.[reads]When he swears oaths, bid him drop gold, and take it;After he scores, he never pays the score:Half won is matchwell made;match, and well make it;210He ne'er pays after-debts, take it before;And say a soldier, Dian, told thee this,Men are to mell with, boys arenotto kiss:For count of this, thecount'sa fool, I know it,Who pays before, but notwhenhe does owe it.

First Sold.[reads]When he swears oaths, bid him drop gold, and take it;

After he scores, he never pays the score:

Half won is matchwell made;match, and well make it;

He ne'er pays after-debts, take it before;

And say a soldier, Dian, told thee this,

Men are to mell with, boys arenotto kiss:

For count of this, thecount'sa fool, I know it,

Who pays before, but notwhenhe does owe it.

215Thine, as he vowed to thee in thine ear,Parolles.

Thine, as he vowed to thee in thine ear,

Parolles.

Ber.He shall be whipped through the army with thisrhymein'sforehead.

Ber.He shall be whipped through the army with this

rhymein'sforehead.

Sec. Lord.This is your devoted friend, sir, the manifold220linguist and the armipotent soldier.

Sec. Lord.This is your devoted friend, sir, the manifold

linguist and the armipotent soldier.

Ber.I could endure any thing before but a cat, andnowhe's a cat to me.

Ber.I could endure any thing before but a cat, and

nowhe's a cat to me.

First Sold.I perceive, sir, bythegeneral's looks, weshall be fain to hang you.

First Sold.I perceive, sir, bythegeneral's looks, we

shall be fain to hang you.

225Par.My life, sir, in any case: not that I am afraid todie; but that, my offences being many, I would repent outthe remainder of nature: let me live, sir, in a dungeon,i' thestocks,orany where, so I may live.

Par.My life, sir, in any case: not that I am afraid to

die; but that, my offences being many, I would repent out

the remainder of nature: let me live, sir, in a dungeon,i' the

stocks,orany where, so I may live.

First Sold.We'll see what may be done, so you confess230freely; therefore, once more to this Captain Dumain:you have answered to his reputation with the Duke and tohis valour: what is his honesty?

First Sold.We'll see what may be done, so you confess

freely; therefore, once more to this Captain Dumain:

you have answered to his reputation with the Duke and to

his valour: what is his honesty?

Par.He will steal, sir,an eggout of a cloister: forrapes and ravishments he parallels Nessus: he professes235not keeping of oaths;in breaking 'emhe is stronger thanHercules: he will lie, sir, with such volubility, that youwould think truth were a fool: drunkenness is his best virtue,for he will be swine-drunk; and in his sleep he doeslittle harm, save to his bed-clothes about him; but they240know his conditions and lay him in straw. I have butlittle more to say, sir, of his honesty: he has every thingthat an honest man should not have; what an honest manshould have, he has nothing.

Par.He will steal, sir,an eggout of a cloister: for

rapes and ravishments he parallels Nessus: he professes

not keeping of oaths;in breaking 'emhe is stronger than

Hercules: he will lie, sir, with such volubility, that you

would think truth were a fool: drunkenness is his best virtue,

for he will be swine-drunk; and in his sleep he does

little harm, save to his bed-clothes about him; but they

know his conditions and lay him in straw. I have but

little more to say, sir, of his honesty: he has every thing

that an honest man should not have; what an honest man

should have, he has nothing.

First Lord.I begin to love him for this.

245Ber.For this description of thine honesty? A poxupon him for me,he'smore and more a cat.

Ber.For this description of thine honesty? A pox

upon him for me,he'smore and more a cat.

First Sold.What say you to his expertness in war?

Par.Faith, sir,hasled the drum before the Englishtragedians; to belie him, I will not, and more of his soldiership250I know not; except, in that country he had thehonour to be the officer at a place there called Mile-end,to instruct for the doubling of files: I would do the manwhat honour I can, but of this I am not certain.

Par.Faith, sir,hasled the drum before the English

tragedians; to belie him, I will not, and more of his soldiership

I know not; except, in that country he had the

honour to be the officer at a place there called Mile-end,

to instruct for the doubling of files: I would do the man

what honour I can, but of this I am not certain.

First Lord.He hathout-villainedvillany so far, that255the rarity redeems him.

First Lord.He hathout-villainedvillany so far, that

the rarity redeems him.

Ber.A pox on him, he's a cat still.

First Sold.His qualities being at this poor price, Ineed not to ask you if gold will corrupt him to revolt.

First Sold.His qualities being at this poor price, I

need not to ask you if gold will corrupt him to revolt.

Par.Sir, for aquart d'écuhe will sell the fee-simple of260his salvation, the inheritance of it; and cut the entail fromall remainders, and a perpetual successionfor itperpetually.

Par.Sir, for aquart d'écuhe will sell the fee-simple of

his salvation, the inheritance of it; and cut the entail from

all remainders, and a perpetual successionfor itperpetually.

First Sold.What's his brother, the other Captain Dumain?

Sec. Lord.Why does he ask him of me?

265First Sold.What's he?

First Sold.What's he?

Par.E'en a crowo' thesame nest; not altogether sogreat as the first in goodness, but greater a great deal inevil: he excels his brother for a coward, yet his brother isreputed one of the best that is: in a retreat he outruns any270lackey; many, in coming on hehasthe cramp.

Par.E'en a crowo' thesame nest; not altogether so

great as the first in goodness, but greater a great deal in

evil: he excels his brother for a coward, yet his brother is

reputed one of the best that is: in a retreat he outruns any

lackey; many, in coming on hehasthe cramp.

First Sold.If your life be saved, will you undertake tobetray the Florentine?

First Sold.If your life be saved, will you undertake to

betray the Florentine?

Par.Ay, and the captain of his horse, Count Rousillon.

First Sold.I'll whisper with the general, and know his275pleasure.

First Sold.I'll whisper with the general, and know his

pleasure.

Par.[Aside]I'll no more drumming; a plague of alldrums! Only to seem to deserve well, and to beguile thesupposition of that lascivious young boy the count, have Irun intothis danger. Yet who would have suspected an280ambush where I was taken?

Par.[Aside]I'll no more drumming; a plague of all

drums! Only to seem to deserve well, and to beguile the

supposition of that lascivious young boy the count, have I

run intothis danger. Yet who would have suspected an

ambush where I was taken?

First Sold.There is no remedy, sir, but you must die:the general says, you that have so traitorously discovered thesecrets of your army and made such pestiferous reports ofmen very nobly held, can serve the world for no honest use;285therefore you must die. Come, headsman, off with his head.

First Sold.There is no remedy, sir, but you must die:

the general says, you that have so traitorously discovered the

secrets of your army and made such pestiferous reports of

men very nobly held, can serve the world for no honest use;

therefore you must die. Come, headsman, off with his head.

Par.O Lord, sir, let me live, or let me see my death!

First Sold.That shall you, and take your leave of allyour friends.[Unblinding him.So, look about you: know you any here?

First Sold.That shall you, and take your leave of all

your friends.[Unblinding him.

So, look about you: know you any here?

290Ber.Good morrow, noble captain.

Ber.Good morrow, noble captain.

Sec. Lord.God bless you, Captain Parolles.

First Lord.God save you, noble captain.

Sec. Lord.Captain, what greeting will you to my LordLafeu? I am for France.

Sec. Lord.Captain, what greeting will you to my Lord

Lafeu? I am for France.

295First Lord.Good captain, will you give me a copy ofthe sonnetyou writ to Diana in behalf of the Count Rousillon?anI were not a very coward, I'ld compel it of you:but fare you well.[Exeunt Bertram and Lords.

First Lord.Good captain, will you give me a copy of

the sonnetyou writ to Diana in behalf of the Count Rousillon?

anI were not a very coward, I'ld compel it of you:

but fare you well.[Exeunt Bertram and Lords.

First Sold.You are undone, captain, all but your300scarf; that has a knot on't yet.

First Sold.You are undone, captain, all but your

scarf; that has a knot on't yet.

Par.Who cannot be crushed with a plot?

First Sold.If you could find out a country where butwomen were that had received so much shame, you mightbegin an impudent nation. Fare ye well, sir; I am for305France too: we shall speak of you there.[Exit, with Soldiers.

First Sold.If you could find out a country where but

women were that had received so much shame, you might

begin an impudent nation. Fare ye well, sir; I am for

France too: we shall speak of you there.[Exit, with Soldiers.

Par.Yet am Ithankful: if my heart were great,'Twould burst at this. Captain I'll be no more;But I will eat and drink, and sleep as softAs captain shall: simply the thing I am310Shall make me live. Who knows himself a braggart,Let him fear this, for it will come to passThat every braggart shall be foundan ass.Rust, sword! cool, blushes! and, Parolles, liveSafest in shame! being fool'd, by foolery thrive!315There's place and means for every man alive.I'll after them.[Exit

Par.Yet am Ithankful: if my heart were great,

'Twould burst at this. Captain I'll be no more;

But I will eat and drink, and sleep as soft

As captain shall: simply the thing I am

Shall make me live. Who knows himself a braggart,

Let him fear this, for it will come to pass

That every braggart shall be foundan ass.

Rust, sword! cool, blushes! and, Parolles, live

Safest in shame! being fool'd, by foolery thrive!

There's place and means for every man alive.

I'll after them.[Exit

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