AN ANTEMORTEM DEMISE
Under whatever star Philippa had been born, she had known only ill luck since her acquisition of a husband in Joe Fields, the slew-footed former slave of former Governor Heyward. Joe’s pride in his former master was too great to permit him to walk, and the mortgaged horse or mule which he usually owned seldom lived very long on the light rations and scant attention it received. Its demise would soon be followed by another animal purchase, another mortgage, and another death. Joe occasionally worked when it suited him, but Philippa toiled unceasingly, and, although she seldom lived at home, she was very proud of the little establishment which her labor maintained. Always distrustful of Joe, she yet gave him the custody of, and dominion over, the few material things she possessed, representing in her character the contradictions not infrequently met with among those of her sex in higher circles.
Once upon a time, Philippa aspired to animal husbandry. Tired of buying bacon for Joe at the Cross Roads store, she applied the savings of several months of hard labor to the purchase of a young sow, and, perhaps in compliment to Joe, she bought a Berkshire, the blackest pig she could find. During the months of anticipation, while she worked for the money with which to make the purchase, her mind was full of the little black pigs that some time would be running about her yard around the cabin in the woodland, furnishing meat in prospect, and immediate companionship for Joe and their taciturn black daughter, ChristopherColumbus, who kept the home fires burning with whatever lightwood knots she could pick up in the pineland, while the wife and mother worked for “de buckruh” several miles away.
“Joe en’ Cuhlumbus sho’ gwine hab uh good cump’ny w’en uh buy da’ hog en’ sen’ um home,” she thought. “Ef uh kin raise ten pig’ dis’yeah, maybe nex’ yeah uh kin raise two-t’ree hund’ud, en’ dem kin git ’nuf fuh eat een de swamp en’ de pinelan’ bidout buy’um no bittle.”
So her fancy pictured her humble premises teeming with little pigs, first squirming in their beds among the straw, then grunting and running about the place, while Joe and Columbus, squatting on the door step of the cabin, communed with them in spirit and watched them grow. Later, the husky shoats would forage the pinelands and swamps for mast and acorns, and root about in the muddy branches for slugs and crayfish, then, grown to fat porkers, they would be slaughtered, salted and smoked, and hams, shoulders, and flitches would hang in festoons from the cabin rafters. So they successively passed through the seven ages of swine. At last the sow that was to transmute Philippa’s dreams into realities was bought and paid for, and a message dispatched to Joe to come and take her home. In due time he arrived with ox and cart and, admonished by Philippa to meet the responsibility placed upon him, he drove away, the guardian of her hopes.
But Joe was not a forward-looking man. His eyes, lacking speculation, were filled with the insistent materialism of the moment. A present pig was worth a hundred in prospect. His eyeballs popped and his lips leaked as he viewed Opportunity that grunted so tantalizinglyat his door, and the gnawings of “Guamba” (the meat hunger of the savage African tribes) played Lady Macbeth to his halting thoughts of murder and turned them into resolution.
“Yaas, ma’am, uh glad fuh git uh chance fuh wu’k out ’gen, ’cause Joe’ shishuh po’ puhwiduh. ’E nebbuh hab no bittle een de house fuh eat. ’E lub fuh eat, but ’e say suh ’cause him maussuh duh quality, suh him ent fuh nyam no dry bittle. Cawn hom’ny ent wut’ fuh Joe ’scusin’ ’e got hog meat ’long’um fuh greese ’e mout’, en’ da’ time we’n uh binnuh wu’k Pon Pon uh lavuh’ haa’d fuh two munt’ fuh buy uh sow so uh kin raise hog meat fuh keep f’um fuhrebbuh duh run duh sto’ fuh bodduh wid dem Jew’ en’ t’ing’, en’ w’en uh done pay fuh de sow, uh sen’ one metsidge fuh tell Joe fuh come fuh fetch’um home. Yuh come Joe een ’e oxin cyaa’t! ’Edatswonguh, ’e mos’ mek somebody wuh ent know’um t’ink suhhimselfwu’k fuh buy de hog. Joe tie all fo’ de sow’ foot, ’e pit’um een ’e cyaa’t, en’ ’e gone! Attuh uh week done gone, uh sen’ wu’d fuh tell Joe fuh come fuh see me fuh tell me how de hog git ’long. Bimeby Joe come, ’e tell me de hog hab uh berry good he’lt’. Uh t’engkful fuh yeddy dat, ’cause uh study ’puntop da’ hog tummuch. Anodduh week done gone, uh sen’ fuh Joe ’gen. ’E come. Uh ax’um how de hog’ he’lt’. ’E say ’e he’lt’ ent so berry good, ’e say seem lukkuh de hog kind’uh po’ly. Uh baig’um fuh ent tek ’e yeye off de hog, en’ ’e mek me uh prommus suh ’e gwine watch’um same lukkuh de sow duh ’e own chile. Anodduh week gone. Joe come ’gen. ’E fetch uh berry sad news f’um de hog, ’cause ’e say suh de hog duh leddown, en’ him berry ’f’aid suh ’e dey at de p’int uh de’t’. Wen him tell me dat,uh seddown en’ uh cry, but w’en uh look ’puntop’um uh see suh Joe hab uh berry sattify’ face, en’ ’e jaw look hebby ’tell ’e stan’ lukkuh mufflejaw fowl, but stillyet uh nebbuh ’spishun nutt’n’, en’ uh ax Joe wuffuh mek ’e jaw fat. ’E tell me ’e hab uh teet’ache, en’ dat w’ymekso ’e jaw swell. Joe gone. Nex’ week ’e come ’gen. ’E jowl hebby ez uh buckruh’ barruh Chris’mus time, en’ ’e face look berry sattify. Uh ax’um how de hog? ’E say de hog dead ’tell buzzut done eat’um. Wen uh yeddy dat wu’d, me h’aa’t hebby ’tell ’e ready fuh drap out me t’roat ’pun de du’t. Uh look ’pun Joe ’gen. Uh study ’pun how ’e jaw fat. Uh biggin fuh ’spishun. Uh ax’um ef ’e still hab uh teet’ache een ’e jaw. ’E tell me yaas, ’e teet’ache hot’um ’tell ’e cyan’ nyam ’e cawn hom’ny. Uh ax’um ef ’e teet’ hot’um to dat, hukkuh him mout’ kin grin lukkuh possum mout’ duh wintuhtime w’en ’e dey een possimmun tree? ’E say suh ’e teet’ache hot’um ’tell ’e mek’um fuh grin. W’en ’e tell me dat, uh know him duh lie, en’ uh know berry well weh de hog gone, ’cause him hab shishuh selfish face uh know suh nutt’n’ gwine mek’um grin ’cep’n’ ’e belly tight. Dat, en’ brag ’bout ’e maussuh, duh de only two t’ing fuh sweet’n ’e face fuh mek laugh come een ’e mout’! Uh tell’um, berry well, uh fret ’bout de hog ’tell uh haffuh gone home en’ look ’puntop de po’ creetuh’ bone. ’E tell me suh buzzut done scattuh ’e bone. Uh tell’um, nemmine, uh gwine fin’um ef uh haffuh hunt spang tuh Caw Caw Swamp! Joe stick out ’e mout’ ’tell ’e oagly ez uh catfish, but uh yent mine’um, en’ uh climb’ een de oxin cyaa’t en’ mek’um fuh dribe tuh de house. Uh know berry well suh uh kin mek Cuhlumbus fuh tell me de straight ’bout de hog, ’cause uh train’um fuh watch ’e Pa same ez beebu’d watch beehibe. W’en uh git home uh holluh fuhCuhlumbus, but ’e yent mek no ansuh en’ uh know ’e mus’be gone deepo. Uh look full de key een de knot hole een one de house’ log weh ’e does lef’um w’en ’e gone out, but befo’ uh gone een de house uh tell Joe fuh show me weh de hog done dead, so uh kin look ’pun ’e bone. Joe look shameface’ ez uh suck-aig dog w’en oonuh ketch’um een uh hen nes,’ but ’e nebbuh crack ’e teet’, en’ ’e gone tuh de aige uh de swamp en’ ’e tell me suh dey de hog dead, en’ de buzzut mus’be flew ’way ’long ’e bone, ’cause none ain’ lef’. Uh tell’um ’e buzzut strong fuh true, but de nigguh lie so easy, uh haffuh suck me teet’ at’um. Uh gone dull house, uh onlock de do’ en’ uh gone een. De fiah done out een de chimbly, but een de cawnuh uh de chimbly uh see de big spiduh duh set, kibbuh’ up wid ashish en’ dead coal’. Uh ax Joe wuh ’e got fuh eat. ’E say ’e dunno wuh Cuhlumbus cook’ befo’ ’e gone out. ’E say ’e ’spec’ Cuhlumbus him roas’ tettuh, eeduhso bile’ hom’ny een de spiduh. Uh tek off de kibbuh. Please me Jedus, uh see de hog’ head dey een de spiduhdone cook, en’ uh know ’e duh my’own, ’cause ’e hab de w’ite people’ maa’k wuh uh buy’um f’um een alltwo ’e yez! W’en uh look ’puntop de sow head, en’ ’membuh all de t’ing uh bin agguhnize ’bout fuh git da’ hog, uh hab uh berry hebby sperrit en’ water full’ alltwo me yeye. Uh ax Joe weh da’ hog meat come f’um? ’E say him ent know nutt’n’ ’t’all ’bout’um, ’e say suh somebody mus’be gi’ Cuhlumbus de meat. ’E say suh him binnuh nyam de pyo’ cawn hom’ny ’tell him hab uh dry drought een ’e t’roat. Uh tell’um, ‘Joe, you sho’ iz uh fait’ful liah fuh tell lie. Yo’ jaw swell wid de pyo’ fat you git f’um eat my hog, en’ da’ berry sow gwine ride you duh night time. ’E fuh haant you long ez you lib.’ Cuhlumbus come. Uh ax’um hukkuhde sow git ’e de’t’. ’E say suh ebbuh sence de hog come home, ’e Pa binnuh hankuh at’um fuh eat. ’E say suh eb’ry day ’e Pa seddown on de do’ step duh watch de hog duh root ’bout de yaa’d, en’ eb’ry time de hog grunt, ’e Pa dat hongry fuh eat’um, ’e gnash ’e teet’ en’ water run out ’e mout’. One time de hog git ketch een de fench en’ squeal. W’en Joe yeddy ’e woice ’e run out, en’ ’stead’uh ’e loose’um out de fench, ’e tek axe, knock’um een e’ head, en’ ’e tell Cuhlumbus ’e kill’um fuh pit’um out ’e mis’ry. Den ’e staa’t fuh eat’um to ’e tail en’ eat spang t’ru de hog ’tell ’e git to ’e head wuh uh fin’ een de pot! De berry day da’ nigguh tell me suh de sow eenjy uh berry po’ he’lt’, ’e done eat de hog’ two hanch! Uhdonewid feed Joe! Ef ’e maussuh lub’um tuh dat,himkin feed’um! Meself,uh done!”
Though the abandoned Joe made bones of Philippa’s hopes, he made none about acknowledging the butchery, and boasting of it, away from home.
“Joe, you sho’ iz fat.”
“Yaas, man, uh fat fuh true. Uh binnuh eat hog meat. Philpuh him buy uh hog en’ sen’ um home, en’ de hog meet uh acksident een de fench, en’ uh ’f’aid ’e gwine dead lukkuh da’ todduh hog ’e hab fuh dead on me han’ one time, en’ buzzut git’um ’fo’ uh hab uh chance fuh eat’um. Buzzut git uhhead’uh me one time, but ’e nebbuh do’um two time! My maussuh’ nigguh haffuh smaa’t mo’nuh buzzut! Stepney[1]ain’ fuh come eenmyhouse! Me fuh ’low my maussuh’ nigguh fuh perish fuh hog meat?Mejaw full dry ’long cawn hom’ny, en’ buzzut mout’ fuh greesy ’long de ’ooman hog meat, enty? No suh! Uh gwine nyam’um fus’!Uh kill’um ’fo’ ’e dead!”