CHAPTER V
Selection of those about the Path of a Child.
No one who has to do with children can fail to be struck by their almost universal habit of imitation. This begins at a very early age, and, while some imitative expressions and gestures are partly the result of heredity, others are obviously copied from the persons with whom the child is most familiar. This makes it, of course, extremely important that the servants and even the friends who are brought most closely into contact with a child should be selected with the greatest care.
Meals in the Servants’ Hall.
How often a bad accent or “twang” is picked up as soon as a child begins to speak, and with what difficulty it is eradicated afterwards! The habit, too,which obtains with some parents (who do not want to be bothered with their children) of letting them have their meals with the servants is greatly to be deprecated. It saves the trouble of a special nursery dinner, and it often happens that the servants in a house are fonder of the company of the children than are their parents, but for all that the tendency to imitate is so strong that habits are pretty sure to be learnt which it will be very troublesome to get rid of afterwards. Here is an example:
A little girl, whom circumstances had relegated to the entire charge of servants, was taken out to a children’s tea-party, when she was scarcely four years old. It was a splendid tea, and she was a fine healthy little girl with an equally fine healthy appetite. Bread and butter, cake, jam sandwiches, and buns all disappeared with equal ease, and therecame a time when the rest had finished and she had just one mouthful left.... There was a slight pause in the general chatter, and at that unlucky moment the little girl in question gave an unmistakable hiccough. Many of the children there would have blushed with distress at such an incident, but this little maiden, accustomed to the manners of the servants’ hall, looked round with an ingratiating smile and merely remarked—“Copplyments!”
Swear Words.
Everyone has heard of children who have occasionally used “swear words” in imitation of their elders, and some may possibly have heard the true story of a little girl who was given a cup of tea to hand to a visitor. As she crossed the short space with careful footsteps and eyes fixed anxiously on her burden she was heard to mutter to herself “By George, baby, you must be ’teady!”
Examples such as these show the readiness with which children pick up the phraseology of their seniors, and it is a mistake to suppose that, because a child does not exactly understand what is said, therefore no impression is made upon its mind.
Desire to be Like Father.
The greater the admiration of a child for an older person the greater the desire to imitate it. A small boy usually considers his father the most wonderful man he knows, and consequently spends a good deal of time and effort in trying to be like him. A little chap of four or five years old will throw himself into a chair and cross his legs in absurd imitation of his father, and nothing seems too small for children to notice and copy. The manner of carrying a stick, the attitude of standing on the hearthrug, the little trick of clearing the throat, will all be reproduced to the life, and it has sometimes been amatter of surprise to an onlooker that the mimicry of some small but absurd trick has not been the means of breaking the older person of the habit.
An excellent example of the desire of a little boy to become like his father was brought to the writer’s notice a year or two ago. A small girl, the daughter of very “horsey” parents, was trying to entertain a boy cousin a little younger than herself. After taking him into the stables and showing him the horses, she turned to him and said, “I daresay, if you areverygood, you might be a groom some day.” To which came the reply, “No, I shan’t! When I grows up I shall be exactly like father—skin showing through my hair and all!”
Individuality to be Encouraged.
There will often be a great desire on the part of one parent that a child shall imitate and resemble the other. If this natural wish be carried too far there is a danger lest the individuality of thechild be interfered with. It must never be forgotten that no two people can be or were meant to be exactly alike, and that in every child that is born there are seeds of good qualities and faculties belonging specially to that child. A slavish copy of anyone else, however worthy, will assuredly tend to choke the growth of these. It would be impossible to compute how many artists with the seeds of greatness within them have been condemned to mediocrity by a life-long endeavour to reproduce the master from whom they have learned, instead of making an endeavour to work out their own salvation.
An Affected Child.
So it is with children. Nothing is more sad than to see a child, at an age when his or her natural freshness and simplicity should be most clearly in evidence, already cramped and artificial through aneffort to copy some older person. A gentleman once took shelter in a house during a heavy storm. The master and mistress were both out, but their little daughter was summoned from her A B C to talk to the unexpected guest. He told her he was sorry to have brought her downstairs, to which came the simpering reply, “Oh! pray don’t mention it!”Imitatio ad nauseam!
Dressing Up.
Dumb Crambo.
One way in which the love of imitation comes out is in the delight all children take in “dressing up,” and in any form of charades or dumb crambo. This is probably a very useful way of developing originality and of setting children’s wits to work. Where it is not coupled with the putting on of gorgeous raiment, and is not merely an excuse for “showing off,” the very variety of character assumed ensures its being a wholesome exercise. Dumb crambo is especiallyhelpful, for in that pastime there is practically no opportunity for self-glorification, while it tends directly to stimulate the children’s ingenuity and to kill their self-consciousness.
Tricks of Posturing.
All observers of child life have noticed in some little ones an unhealthy trick of making faces, posturing, or otherwise trying to attract attention. This is unnatural and should be carefully watched and eradicated. But it should be remembered that in most cases of that kind thecauseis physical—generally a weakness in the nervous system—and the child must be dealt with most tenderly though firmly.
On the other hand, many people can recall instances where what may be described as a true theatrical tendency has shown itself in a perfectly healthy and charming manner in very young children. No better example of this canbe found than is contained in a little paper lying under the writer’s hand. To transpose it would be to spoil the vividness of the story, so it is given here just in its original form.
Tea at the Vicarage.
“I was more or less of a newcomer in our village when I one day received a pressing invitation to tea at the Vicarage. When I arrived I found my hostess, a charming white-haired and white-shawled old lady, in her usual arm-chair by the drawing-room fire, and, seeing the chair on the other side of the hearth empty, I dropped into it with a delicious feeling of comfort after my walk through the chill and gloom of a foggy evening. I had not been many minutes installed when tea was brought in, and the hot cakes which my soul loved were deposited on the little brass stand inside the fender at my feet.
“Following fast on the arrival of the tea came the two daughters of the house,who had been busy in various parts of the parish, and were eager to compare notes and exchange the gossip they had gleaned between the gulps of hot tea with which they refreshed the inner woman.
“Meantime, I confess to wondering why I had been honoured with an invitation which was almost as pressing as a three-line whip. My curiosity was quickened by the fact that no sooner had we finished our meal than the tea-table was carried off to a distant part of the room, and a smile and look of enquiry went round, followed by a nod on the part of my hostess, the signal for one of the daughters to run away for a minute or two from the room. There was just that little silence which precedes an ‘event,’ and then she returned to be greeted by ‘Well?’ ‘All right,’ she replied, and silence fell on us again, to be broken almost immediately by a tap at the door,a tap that would never have been heard had it not been for our stillness of expectation. The elder and more impetuous of the daughters made a rush from her chair but was called back, and then in a moment I knew why I had been asked. From behind the high screen just inside the door there peeped a baby face! And such a baby face! Roguishness, bashfulness, mirth, and indecision were mingled in the little dimpling face and twinkling blue eyes.
The Entry of Baby.
“There was a shake of golden curls—no, not quite curls, and yet nothing else expresses the tangle of light that formed a background to that beauty of two summers—and then the vision disappeared. Shyness had won a momentary victory, but was routed on a friendly hand being held out round the screen to encourage the merry mischief that was never far to seek in her to assert itself.
“A little shriek of pleasure, and she had run into the middle of the room towards granny’s chair, but stopped short just where the circle of light from a reading lamp fell upon her. I shall not soon forget the picture. I had never seen her before, and, coming upon me in this unexpected way with her brightness and her beauty and her marvellous expression, she made an impression out of all proportion to her years.
“It was, I fear, the sight of me that caused her to stop so suddenly in her run to the loving arms that were stretched out for her.
“Neither she nor I had been prepared for the sight of the other, and a strange and bearded man may well alarm a little lady of two.
A Baby Actress.
“Therewas, no doubt, at first a distinct look of alarm, but she rose to the occasion. It might no doubt be possible to overawe this new and ferocious-looking being:at all events it would be well to try, or he might perhaps be open to a joke and be propitiated in that way! Some such thoughts were evidently in her mind, for first of all she stared at me with a frown, then made a deliciously dignified bow towards me, and then, almost before the bow was finished, stooped down, and drew her frock round her feet, saying, ‘Baby dot no legs!’ going off into a fit of decidedly forced laughter by way of carrying off her joke, should I prove too dense to see it.
“Well, it served her purpose: it was a kind of introduction, and it enabled her to get over the awkward moments of her first shyness and to reach the haven of granny’s chair. We were soon firm friends after that. I happened to have a watch ‘like daddy’s,’ which was an assurance of my respectability, and I openly and fervently admired a certain pair oflittle red shoes, and what lady can resist a well-timed compliment on her turn-out?
“After a short time spent in such polite conversation, it suddenly occurred to the little fairy that she was not doing her proper share towards entertaining the company. A little wriggle freed her from any restraining hands or inconvenient people, and she ran to the far end of the room. From this vantage ground she ran forward from time to time into the better-lit part at our end with all the anxiety to be well received of a born actress. The first ‘act’ consisted in her picking up her tiny skirts and walking on her toes, saying ‘Muddy, muddy! Baby’s feet wet!’ Then with a shriek of delight she rushed off, to come back the next minute waving her hands over her head and gazing solemnly upwards, saying, ‘Wind b’owing! Clouds and wind! Baby’s f’ightened!’ But this only lastedfor a minute before she dashed off and returned declaring that she was another child, a little girl she had not seen more than once or twice, but whom she evidently desired to imitate.
“It is impossible to describe the effect produced upon me by this extraordinary performance by so young a child. Her rapid change of mood bewildered me: the mischievous laughter of one moment was so quickly followed by a look of wonder or terror or sadness, to be succeeded in its turn by a sudden scream of delight, that I felt as if I were watching something not altogether canny. It was really almost a relief when at last she buried her face in a friendly lap and cried for bed and ‘nanna.’
Baby’s Exit.
“Even then the rapid change of mood was not all over, for in the midst of her tears she was gathered into nurse’s comfortable arms, and as she left the room a decidedlypert little voice was heard to say, ‘Babydidc’y!’
“So I found out why my friends at the Vicarage, who knew my weakness for children, had asked me to tea, but I have never been able to analyse the exact impression left on my mind beyond that of a lovely and excited baby.”