XXV
When Farley had left the room Briggs sank on the couch. Now that he was alone with Helen, all his buoyancy disappeared. His face looked haggard; the hard lines around his mouth deepened.
Helen rose and sat beside him. “Douglas,” she said.
He did not reply.
“I couldn’t say anything while they were here,” Helen went on, “but I’m sorry. Perhaps it’s all for the best.”
He drew away from her. “All for the best!” he repeated, hopelessly. “That’s a poor consolation. Do you know what it means to me? It means that I’ve lost my chance of redeeming myself. That’s the only reason why I wanted to be elected. I was sincere when I said I was sick of the life. But I thought if I could only go back there as an honest man and keep straight, then I could come to you and tell you I’d tried to make up for what I had done.”
“I understand that, Douglas,” Helen replied. “But it is all right now.”
“How is it all right?”
“With me, I mean. I love you all the more because you’ve failed.”
He leaned forward, with his hands between his knees. “When I have nothing to offer you, Helen,” he said, “not even a clean reputation—when I’m ruined and disgraced, with hardly a dollar in the world?”
“You aren’t ruined and disgraced. It’s foolish to speak so. You’re only forty-two. Why, you’re just beginning, Douglas! And there’s my property, Douglas, my two thousand a year. That will be something to start on. And you have your practice.”
“We’ll have to give up this house,” he said, almost in a whisper.
Helen lifted her head. Her eyes shone. “What difference does it make, Douglas? I can be happy with you anywhere.”
For a moment he sat without moving. Then he let his hand rest on hers. Suddenly he lifted her hand and pressed it to his lips. He rose quickly and walked to the back of the room, where he stood trying to control himself. At last he said:
“I don’t deserve to have you, Helen.”
“And there’sMr.Burrell, Douglas. There’s his law case.”
“True. I had forgotten about that. Oh, I guess I’ve some fight left in me, dear.” He walked back and sat beside her. “Only—I need you now more than ever.”
“And I’m going to be more to you, Douglas. I’ve just been talking withMr.Farley. He has made me see things so differently! I’ve been selfish, Douglas, and—and harsh with you. I’ve never taken enough interest in your work. I’ve allowed you to bear all the burdens. That’s why I lost your confidence. But in future we’re going to share everything, aren’t we? And one thing, dear, you aren’t going to give up ever. You’ll stay in politics, and we’ll go back to Washington some day.”
Briggs looked away and smiled.
“Ah, I know when I’ve had enough,” he replied, shaking his head.
“No. You haven’t had enough. You’ll have to go back, to please me.”
He turned to her again and looked into her face. Then he took her in his arms and drew her close to him.