“What do you mean?”
“Well, I love you now—but how do I know ... Mary married for love.”
“What’s Mary got to do with it?”
“She’s shown me that one can never be sure, even with love.”
“You mean to say you’re not sure if you’d be happy with me?”
“Darling, I’m as sure as I can ever be with any human being. But one never can be quite sure, that’s the terrible thing. And oh, it would be so ghastly if you changed—or I changed—and I had left the unchanging place for you.”
Stella rose quietly to her feet.
“I understand now, Peter.”
For a moment she stood motionless and silent, her mouth set, her eyes shining out beyond him. He wondered if she was praying.
“Stella—don’t hate me.”
“I don’t hate you—I love you. But I quite understand that you don’t love me. Your last words have shown me that. And your not loving me explains it all. If you really loved me all these difficulties, all these ambitions would be like—like chaff. But you don’t love me, at least not much; and I don’t want you, if you only love me a little. I’m relieved in a way—I think you’d be doing a dreadful thing if you gave me up while you really loved me. But you don’t really love me, so you’re quite right to give me up and stand by your family and Starvecrow. Oh, I know you love me enough to have married me if everything had been easy....”
“Stella, don’t—It isn’t that I don’t love you; it’s only that I can’t feel sure of the future with you—I mean, there areso many things about you I can’t understand—your way of looking at life and things....”
“Oh, I know, my dear—don’t trouble to explain to me. And don’t think I’m angry, Peter—only sick—sick—sick. I don’t want to argue with you any more—it’s over. And I’ll make things as easy for you as I can, and for myself too. I’ll go away—I’ll have to. I couldn’t bear meeting you after this—or seeing Starvecrow....”
She went to the door, and he hoped she would go straight out, but on the threshold she suddenly turned——
“I’m not angry, Peter—I’m not angry. I was, but I’m not now ... I’m only miserable. But I’ll be all right ... if I go away. And some day we’ll be friends again....”
The door crashed behind her. She was gone.