[
She comes slowly down the room towardAustin, and smiles at him quizzically.
] What were you two saying?
Austin.Good-by!
Jinny.But you'd said it once to her already! Why did you have to say good-bytwicetoRuth? Once was enough for all the other girls!
Austin.[Banteringly.] The first timeIsaidgood-by toher, and the second timeshesaid good-by tome!
Jinny.Do you know what I believe—Ruth Chester's in love with you!
Austin.Oh, darling!
[Laughs.
Jinny.Yes, that explains the whole thing. No wonder she wastristeto-day.
Austin.[Laughing.] Jinny, sweetheart, don't get such an absurd notion into your head.
Jinny.[Looks straight at him a moment, then speaks tenderly.] No—no—I know it's not your fault. There was no other woman in this house for you to-day butme,wasthere?
Austin.There was no other woman in the world for me since the first week I knew you.
[Taking her into his arms.
Jinny.This is good-by toJinny Tillman!
[He kisses her.
Jack, darling, do you think I could sit on your knee like a little child and put my arm around your neck and rest my head on your shoulder for just five seconds—I'mso tired!
[Mrs. Cullinghamopens the door.
Mrs. Cullingham.Oh!
[Shuts the door very quickly and knocks.
[JinnyandAustinlaugh.
Jinny.Yes, yes—come in!
[Mrs. Cullinghamenters. She is a handsome, whole-souled, florid woman; one of those creatures of inexhaustible vitality who make people of a nervous temperament tired almost on contact by sheer contrast. She is the kindest, best meaning creature in the world.
Mrs. Cullingham.Oh, do excuse me! I haven't any more tact!—and I hate to interruptyou, but I must say good-by. [Calls.] Peter!
Peter.Yes'm.
[Entering with a glass of water and a powder. He sits in the arm-chair at right, and constantly looks at his watch.
Austin.I'm much obliged to you, Mrs. Cullingham, for the interruption, as I was sent long ago to make myself ready for the train, if you'll excuse me!
Mrs. Cullingham.Certainly!
Jinny.Good-by!
[Taking his hand as he passes her.
Austin.Good-by!
[He goes out Right.
Mrs. Cullingham.If it's time forhim, it's certainly time foryou. I won't keep you a minute!
Jinny.No, really we've plenty of time,— [both sit on sofa.] Wasn't it a lovely wedding!
Mrs. Cullingham.I never saw a sweeter, my dear! And it was perfectly elegant! Simply great!
Jinny.And isn't Jack—
Mrs. Cullingham.He is! And so are you! In fact I've been telling your mother I don't know how to thank you both. You've asked me to-day to meet the swellest crowd I've ever been in where I wasinvited, and didn't have to buy tickets, and felt I had a right to say something besides "excuse me," and "I beg your pardon." Of course, I've sat next to them all before in restaurants and at concerts, but this time I felt like the real thing myself, and I shall never forget it! If you or your husband ever want any mining tips, come to me; what myhusband don't know about mines isn't worth knowing!
Jinny.I'm as glad as I can be if you've had a good time, and you mustn't feel indebted to us. Ever since we met in Egypt that winter, mamma and I have always felt you were one of our best friends.
Mrs. Cullingham.Of course you know it isn't formy ownsake I'm doing these stunts to get into Society. It's all formy boy. He'sgotto have the best—or theworst, however you look at it! [Laughing.] Anyway, I want him to have a chance at it, and it belongs to him through his father, for my first husband was a real swell!
[Looking atPeterlovingly.
[At this moment,Peter, having again looked at his watch, tips up the powder on his tongue, and swallows it down with the water.
Mrs. Cullingham.Poor darling! He suffers terribly from indigestion. That's an alkali powder he takes twenty minutes after eating. Peter, we must say good-by now.
Peter.[Coming up.] Good-by, Miss Jinny.
Mrs. Cullingham.Mrs. Austin!
Jinny.Oh, I'll always be "Miss Jinny" to Peter!
Peter.Thank you! We've had a great time at your wedding!Bully food!But I'mfeelingit! [He turns aside.] Excuse me!
Mrs. Cullingham.I was just telling Mrs. Austin—
[Interrupted.
Jinny."Jinny"—don't change.
Mrs. Cullingham.Thank you— [Rises to go.] I was just saying we won't forget in our social life, will we, Peter, that MissJinny gave us the biggest boost up we've had yet?
[Jinnyalso rises.
Peter.Well, you know, mother, I don't think the game's worth the candle. It's begun to pall on me already.
Mrs. Cullingham.I really think he's going to be superior to it!
Peter.I only go now for your sake.
[Mrs. Tillman, coming from Right, speaks off stage.
Mrs. Tillman.Jinny! Jinny!
Jinny.Mother!
[Mrs. Tillmanenters.
Jinny.I ought to dress?
Mrs. Tillman.[ToMrs. Cullingham.] She'll be late if she isn't careful.
Jinny.I'm going to. Is Maggie there?
Mrs. Tillman.Yes, waiting!
Jinny.Good-by. [KissesMrs. Cullingham.] Good-by. [ShakesPeter'shand.]
Peter.Many happy returns!
[Jinnygoes out Right.
Mrs. Tillman.Come, I want to give you some of Jinny's flowers to take home with you. Would you like some?
Mrs. Cullingham.I should love them!
[They go out through the doors at back.
[Peteris suffering with indigestion. He takes a charcoal tablet, andSusiecautiously enters Right.
Susie.There you are! Have you got 'em?
Peter.No, I gave them back to you.
Susie.Then they're in there on the table—get 'em quick, the trunks are coming down now!
[Petergoes out quickly at back, as theButlerandMan Servantenter Right, carrying a large new trunk with a portmanteau on top of it.
Susie.Put them right over there for a minute! [They put them down in the centre of the room, and theFootmangoes out Right.] And mind, you don't split on us, Thomas. Auntie Tillman knows all about it—it's just to be a nice little surprise for Cousin Jinny and my new uncle.
Butler.Very well, miss.
[He also goes out Right.
[At the same timePeterreënters at back with a roll of papers and some broad white satin ribbon. The papers are about half a foot broad and two feet long, and on them is printed, "We are on our honeymoon."
Peter.[With gay excitement.] I've got 'em.
Susie.Get some water—there's sticky stuff on the back!
[Petergives her the papers and ribbons and goes out again at back.
Susie.Quick! [Ties a big white bow on the portmanteau and on a trunk handle.] If Auntie Tillman sees 'em, I'll bet she'll grab 'em off. She'll be as mad ashops!
[TheButlerandFootmanreënter Right, and bring down an old steamer trunk and a gentleman's dressing-bag.
Butler.[To theFootman.] Go and see if the carriage is there!
Footman.Yes, sir.
[He goes out Left.
[AsPeterreënters from the back, with the water.
Susie.Quick now! Quick!
[They stick one label on the big steamer trunk facing the audience.
Peter.I say isn't that great!
[Susiegiggles aloud with delight. TheButler, standing at one side, smiles. They put another label on the other trunk.
Susie.[Giggling.] I heard them plan it,—they're taking one old trunk purposely so as people would not catch on they were just married!
[Giggles delightedly.
[TheFootmanreënters with a driver, Left.
Footman.Yes, sir, it's here.
Butler.[To the driver.] You can take that first.
[Pointing to the steamer trunk.
[Drivergoes out Left with it on his shoulder, and the portmanteau.
Butler.Now, James, you're to go over withthe luggage to Twenty-third Street Ferry and check the heavy baggage; you know where to.
Footman.Yes, sir.
Susie.[Eagerly.] Oh,where to?
Butler.I am hunder hoath not to tell, Miss.
Susie.O pish!
[Kneeling in the big arm-chair and watching proceedings from behind its back.
Butler.[Continues to theFootman.] And wait with the checks and Mr. Austin's dressing-bag— [Showing it.] —until they come.
Footman.Yes, sir.
Peter.And make haste, or, I say, somebody'll turn up and give our whole joke away!
[TheDriverreënters.
Susie.Yes,dohurry!
Footman.[To theDriver.] Come along.
[They take the big trunk out Left.Butlerfollows with the dressing-bag.
Mrs. Cullingham.[Calls from the room at back.] Peter darling, are you there?
Susie.Phew! Just in time!
[Sliding down into a more correct position in the chair.
Peter.Yes, mother!
[Going to back.
Mrs. Cullingham.[In the doorway, at back.] Come, take these beautiful roses from Mrs. Tillman!
[Mrs. CullinghamandMrs. Tillmanenter.
Mrs. Tillman.[With her arms full of roses.] Thomas will take them down.
Peter.No, I'd like to. Aren't they bully?
[He takes them.
Mrs. Cullingham.[ToMrs. Tillman.]Good-by, and thank you again. I know you must want to go up to Jinny.
Mrs. Tillman.Yes, she may need me to help her a little. Good-by. Good-by, Peter.
Peter.Good-by, ma'm.
[Mrs. Tillmangoes out Right.
Mrs. Cullingham.Why, Susie, how do you do?
Susie.[Glides out of the chair and stands before it.] How do you do?
[Embarrassed.
Mrs. Cullingham.You're a good little girl, I hope?
Susie.I don't! I hate good little girls!
Mrs. Cullingham.O my!
[She goes out, laughing, Left.
[Peter, coming toSusie, catches her in his arms and kisses her, much against her will.
Susie.[Furious.] Oh, you horrid, nasty thing,you! [She strikes at him; he runs; she chases him from one side of the room to the other, around a sofa and table, and out Left, screaming as she chases him.] I hate you! I hate you!
[Maggieenters Right.
Maggie.Miss Susie, Mrs. Tillman wants to see you upstairs.
Susie.What for?
Maggie.I don't know, Miss.
Susie.Pshaw! have I got to go? All right!
[Going toward the door at Right.
[Austinenters, meetingSusie.
Austin.Hello! Where areyougoing?
Susie.Oh, up to Auntie Tillman's room. Goodness knows what for; it's an awful bore! Want to come along?
Austin.No, thank you; but if you see your Cousin Jinny, you might tell her I am down.
Susie.[Hanging on to him.] I say! Where are you and Cousin Jinny going to, anyway?
Austin.[Smiling.] I don't know.
Susie.O my, what a fib! And that's a nice example to set a little girl!
[She goes out Right.
Maggie.[Coming forward.] I beg pardon, sir, but may I speak to you a minute?
Austin.Certainly, Maggie, what is it?
Maggie.I've been trying for a chance to see you alone. I wouldn't bother you, sir—but it's only because I'm fond of Miss Jinny, and of Mr. and Mrs. Tillman, and they've all been so good to me; I know it would nearly kill 'em if they knew.
Austin.Come, Maggie, knew what?
Maggie.Well,one memberof this family ain't been good to me, sir. [From this point her feelingsbegin to get the better of her and she speaks rapidly and hysterically.] He's been bad, bad as he could, and somebody's got to talk to him, and I don't see who's a-goin' to do it but you. If he don't change, I'll not hold my tongue any longer. It's all I can do for their sakes to hold it now!
Austin.Look here, what are you talking about? You don't mean Mr. Geoffrey?
Maggie.Yes, I do, sir; he's my husband.
Austin.What!!
Maggie.We was married when he was at Yale, sir; I was in a shop there.
Austin.But—! Well, after all, isn't this your and Geoffrey's affair? Why bring me in?
Maggie.Because he's making love to Miss Chester, and promising to marryhernow, and if he don't stop—I'll make trouble!
Austin.But if he's married to you, as you say—he can't marry—any one else.
Maggie.He's tried to make me believe our marriage ain't legal, because he was only twenty and he'd been drinking!
Austin.What makes you think Mr. Geoffrey cares for—Miss Chester?
Maggie.I just heard and see him making love to herhere!
Austin.This is a pretty bad story, Maggie.
Maggie.Yes, sir, and the worst is, sir, I know I ain't good enough for him, and that's why I've kept still about it these three years, but I can't help loving him no matter how ugly he's treated me. [Breaking down into tears.] I just can't help it! Ilovehim, sir, even if I'm only a servant girl, and I can't stand it thinking he's going to try and get rid of me for some one else!
[She sobs out loud.
Austin.Sh!—Maggie. Sit down a minute, and control yourself. Somebody'll hear you, and besides they'll be coming down presently. I'll have a talk with Mr. Geoffrey when I come back—
[Interrupted asGeoffreyenters Left. He doesn't seeMaggie, who is collapsed in a corner of the sofa.
Geoffrey.[ToAustin.] Ah! Thank goodness I've caught you; I had an awful headache and went out for a breath of air, and then I was afraid I might have missed you! I knew in that case Jinny would never forgive me, nor—I—myself—for that—matter—
[His voice grows less exuberant in the middle of his speech and finally at the end almost dies away, as he sees the expression inAustin'sface and realizes that something is wrongsomewhere. When he stops speaking,Maggiegives a gasping sob. He hears it, and starting, sees her.
Geoffrey.Maggie!
Austin.Geoffrey, is what this girl says true?
Geoffrey.That I married her in New Haven? Yes.
Maggie.[Rises.] I'll go, please, I'd rather go.
Austin.Yes, go, Maggie; it's better.
[Maggiegoes out Right.
Geoffrey.[As soon as she is out of the room.] Promise me, Jack, you won't tell any one! It's awful, I know! For two years at college I went all to pieces and led a rotten life,—and one night, drunk, I married her, and it isn't so much her fault. I suppose she thought I loved her,—but this would break up the old lady and gentleman so, if they knew, I couldn't stand it! AndJinny, for God's sake, don't tell Jinny.She respects me.You won't tell her, will you?
Austin.No. But Maggie says you want to marry some one else now.
Geoffrey.[With a change, in great shame.] That's true, too.
[He sits in utter dejection on the sofa.
Austin.How are you going to do it?
Geoffrey.I must make money somehow and buy off Maggie.
Austin.Yes, go out to Sioux Falls, get a divorce there on respectable grounds, and settle a sum of money on Maggie.
Geoffrey.But I can't do that!
Austin.Why not?
Geoffrey.I can't do anything that would give publicity, and that divorce would.
Austin.Any divorce would; you can't get rid of that.
Geoffrey.I tell you I can't have publicity. Ruth—Miss Chester—would hear of it.
Austin.Well, if she loves you, she'll forgive your wild oats, especially as every one sees now what a steady, straight fellow you've become.
Geoffrey.It's Ruth! But I can't do that. No, Jack, you must help—you will, won't you? Oh,do, for Jinny's sake! Help me to persuade Maggie to keep silent for good, tear up that certificate of marriage. I was only twenty; it's hardly legal, and I'll settle a good sum—
[Interrupted.
Austin.[Going straight to him, puts his hand heavily on his shoulder.] Good God, you're proposing bigamy! You've done enough; don't stoop tocrime!
[The twoMenface each other a moment.Geoffrey'shead drops.
Austin.Forget you ever said that; do what I tell you when Jinny and I have gone abroad, so she will be away from it a little, and if you want money, let me know.
[Jinnyenters Right, with nervous gaiety, covering an upheaving emotion which is very near the surface.
Jinny.Ready! And thereyouare, Geof. I've been sending all over the house after you! Good-by! [Throwing her arms about him.] Dear old Geof! Haven't we had good times together! Always, always from the youngest days I can remember—I don't believe there were ever a brother and sister so sympathetic; I know there was never a brother such a perfect darling as you were—I'll miss you, Geof! [The tears come into her voice, anyway.] I used to think I'd never marry at all if I couldn't marryyou, and Idothinkheis theonly man in the world who could have taken me away from home, so long as you were there! [ToAustin, smiling.] You aren't jealous?
Austin.No!
Jinny.[In jest.] Isn't it awful! You can'tmakehim jealous! I think it's a positive flaw in his character! Not like—us, is he?
Geoffrey.Dear old girl—
Jinny.[Whispers to him.] And I've noticed how you've overcome certain things, dear Geof. I know it's beenhard, and I'm proud of you.
Geoffrey.Sh! Jinny, dear old sister! I'll missyou! By George, Jin, the house'll be awful without—but you— [His voice grows husky.] —just excuse me a minute!
[He is about to break down, and so hurries out Right.
Jinny.[Sniffling.] He was going to cry! Oh,Jack, you'll be a brother to Geoffrey, won't you? You know he's been awfully dissipated, and he's changed it all, all by himself!If he should go wrong again—I believe it would break my heart, I love him so!
Austin.I'll domorefor him, if he ever needs me, than if he weremy ownbrother, because he'syours!
Jinny.[Presses his hand and looks up at him lovingly and gratefully.] Thank you. Wait here just a minute; I know he won't come back to say good-by. He's gone up to his room, I'm sure—I'll just surprise him with a hug and my hands over his eyes like we used to do years ago.
[She starts to go out Right, and meetsMr.andMrs. Tillman, who enter.
Tillman.The carriage is here!
Jinny.I won't be a second—
[She goes out Right.
Mrs. Tillman.Where has she gone?
Austin.Up to her brother.
Mrs. Tillman.Her father's been locked up in his study for three hours—hesaysthinking, but tomehis eyes look very suspicious!
[Taking her husband's arm affectionately.
Tillman.[Clears his throat.] Nonsense!
Mrs. Tillman.Well,how many cigars did you smoke?
Tillman.Eight.
Mrs. Tillman.The amount of emotion that a man can soak out of himself with tobacco is wonderful! He uses it just like a sponge!
Tillman.Jack, the first thing I asked about you when I heard that—er—that things were getting this way was, does he smoke? A man who smokes has always that outlet. If thingsgo wrong—go out and smoke a cigar, and when the cigar'sfinished, ten to one everything's got right, somehow! If you lose your temper, don't speak!—a cigar, and when it's finished, then speak! You'll find the temper all gone up in the smoke! A woman's happiness is safest with a man who smokes. [He clears his throat, which is filling.] God bless you, Jack, itisa wrench; our only girl, you know. She's been a great joy—ahem!
[He quickly gets out a cigar.
Mrs. Tillman.[Stopping him from smoking.] No, no, dear, they'regoing now!
Tillman.Well, the best I can say is, I wish you as happy a married life as her mother and I have had.
Mrs. Tillman.Thirty-fivedearyears! But now, George, let me say a word—you always havemonopolized our new son—he'll be much fonder of you thanme!
Tillman.Old lady!—Jealous!—
Mrs. Tillman.Turn about is fair play—you're jealous still of Jinny and me. [She pauses a moment.] I think we'd better tell him!
Tillman.All right. The only rifts in our lute, Jack, have been little threads of jealousy that have snapped sometimes!
Mrs. Tillman.Nothing ever serious—of course,butit's a fault that Jinny shares with us, and theonly faultwe've ever been able to find.
Tillman.We called her for years the girl with the green eyes. She goes it prettystrongsometimes!
Austin.Oh, that's all right—I shalllikeit!
Mrs. Tillman.You'll always bear with her, won't you, if she should ever get jealous of you?
Austin.Ofme? I'll never giveher the chance.
Mrs. Tillman.It isn't a question of chance; you just can't help it sometimes, can you, George?
Tillman.No, you can't.
Mrs. Tillman.And so—
Austin.Don't worry! Your daughter's safe with me. I'm not the jealous sort myself and I love Jinny so completely, so calmly, and yet with my heart, and soul, and mind, and body, she'll never have achanceeven totryto be jealous ofme!
Tillman.Sh!
[Jinnyenters Right.
Jinny.I found poor Maggie up in my room crying! She says she can't bear to have me go away. I think she's sorry now she wouldn't come with me as maid—and I said good-by to cook and she sniffed!
[Austinlooks at his watch.
Austin.Oh! we ought to go!
Mrs. Tillman.Good-by, darling!
[KissingJinnyand embracing her a long time, whileAustinandTillmanshake hands warmly and say good-by.
Jinny.[Going to her father.] Good-by, father. Dear old father!
[With happy emotion.
[Austinmeanwhile is shaking hands withMrs. Tillman.
Jinny.[Returns to her mother.] Darling—oh, how good you've always been to me! Oh, mummy darling, Ishallmiss you! You'll send me a letter to-morrow, won't you, or a telegram? Send a telegram—you've got the address!
Mrs. Tillman.[With tears in her eyes.] Yes, it's written down!
Jinny.You can tell father, but no one else!
[Hugs and kisses her mother.
Tillman.Come, Susan! They'll lose their train!
[Jinnyagain embraces her father.
All.Good-by! Good-by!
[Jinny, starting to go withAustin, suddenly leaves him and runs back again to her mother and throws herself in her arms. They embrace, in tears.
Jinny.Good-by, mother!
Mrs. Tillman.Good-by, my darling!
Tillman.Come, come! they'll lose their train!
[Jinnyruns toAustin, and with his arms about her, they hurry to the door Left. They go through the doors at back to window in the corridor.Jinnystops at the door and she andAustinface each other a moment.
Jinny.[Looking up at him.] Oh, Jack!
[She throws her arms about his neck and buries her face on his shoulder.
Austin.Jinny, Jinny dear, you're not sorry?
Jinny.[Slowly raises her head and looks at him, smiling through her tears, and speaks in a voice full of tears and little sobs.] Sorry? Oh, no! Oh, no! It hurts me to leave them, but I never was sohappyin my life!
[He kisses her and they hurry out, with his arm about her.
Mrs. Tillman.[In the corridor, lifts the window.] I hear the door—
Tillman.There they are!
[Susierushes across the stage with a bowl of rice in her arms and goes out Left.
[Mr.andMrs. Tillmanwave and say "Good-by!" "Good-by!" "Good-by!" They closethe window in silence. The sound is heard as the window frame reaches the bottom. They turn and come slowly forward,Tillmanwiping his eyes andMrs. Tillmanbiting her lips to keep the tears back. They come into the front room and stop, and for a second they look around the empty room.Tillmanputs his hand in his pocket and takes out his cigar case.Mrs. Tillman, turning, sees him; she goes to him swiftly and touches his arm, looking up at him through her tears. He turns to her and slowly takes her in his arms and holds her there close and kisses her tenderly on the cheek.
[Susieenters Left, with empty bowl, sobbing aloud, as
THE CURTAIN FALLS
ACT II
The Vatican, Rome; the Tribune of the Apollo Belvedere; a semicircular room with dark red walls; in the centre is the large statue of Apollo. There are doorways at Right and Left. There is a bench on the right side of the room. A singleLady Touristenters Right, takes a hasty glance, yawns, and looking down at her Baedeker, goes out Left.A Papal Guardis seen passing outside in the court.A Frenchmanand hisWife(with Baedekers) are seen approaching; they are heard talking volubly. They enter Left.
Both.Ah!—
[They stand a moment in silent admiration.
He.[Reading from Baedeker.] Apollo Belvedere. [He looks up.] C'est superb!
She.[Beaming with admiration.] Magnifique! Voilà un homme!
He.Quelle grace!
She.Quelle force!
[Both talk at once in great admiration and intense excitement for a few moments. Then he suddenly drops into his ordinary tone and manner.
He.Allons, allons nous!
She.[In the same tone.] Oui, j'ai faim!
[They go out Right.
[JinnyandAustinenter Left, he looking over his shoulder. They stand a moment just inside the doorway.
Jinny.What are you looking back so much for, Jackie?
Austin.I thought I saw some one I know.
Jinny.Who?
Austin.I didn't know who; it just seemed to be a familiar back.
Jinny.[Playfully.] Oh, come! I think the present works of art and your loving wife are quite enough for you to look at without hunting around for familiar backs!
Austin.And Baedeker! [Reading from Baedeker about the Apollo.] Apollo Belvedere, found at the end of the fifteenth century, probably in a Roman villa—
Jinny.Of course, Apollo!
Austin.Great, isn't it?
Jinny.Stunning! [She turns and looks at him, smiling quizzically.]Still—but I suppose I'm prejudiced!
Austin.[Obtuse.] Still what?
Jinny.You dear old stupid! You know, Jack, you're deeply andfundamentallyclever and brilliant, but you're not quite—bright—not quick!
[Laughing.
Austin.Don't you think havingonein the family quick as chain lightning is enough? What have I missed this time, Jinny? You don't mean you've found a family likeness in the statue over there? I don't want to be unappreciative, but it doesn't suggest your father to me in the least,—nor even Geoffrey.
Jinny.Stupid!!Of course it doesn'tsuggestanybody to me—I was only thinking I sympathized with Mrs. Perkins of Boston,—don't you know the old story about her?
Austin.No, what was it?
Jinny.[After a quick look around to see thatthey are alone.] Well—Mrs. Perkins from Boston was personally conducted here once and shown this very statue, and she looked at it for a few moments, and then turned around and said, "Yes, it's all right, but giveme Perkins!"
Austin.Jinny!
[Laughing.
Jinny.Are you shocked? Come, I'm tired; let's sit down here and read my letters—there's one from Geof.
[They sit on the bench at Right, andJinnytakes out a letter fromGeoffrey.
Austin.I'll read ahead in Baedeker and you tell me if there's any news. [He opens the Baedeker and reads, and she opens and reads the letter.] Where is Geof's letter from?
Jinny.New York, of course; where else would it be?
Austin.I had an idea he was going away.
Jinny.Geof! Where?
Austin.West, a good way somewhere.
Jinny.Butwhywould he go West?
Austin.Oh, he had some business, I believe; I remember thinking it was a good idea when he told me. It was the day we were married—I was waiting for you to come downstairs.
Jinny.I think it's very funny Geof never said anything about it tome.
Austin.My dear, what time hadyou? You weregetting married!!
Jinny.Iwas! Thank heaven! I'mso happy, Jack!
[Snuggling up to him on the bench.
Austin.[Steals a little, quick hug with his arm about her waist.] Bless you, darling, I don't think there was ever a man as happy as I am!
[They start apart quickly as aGerman Coupleenter Right, with aYoung Daughter, who is munching a cake, and hanging, a tired and unwilling victim, to her mother's hand.
Woman.Ach! schön! sehr schön!!
Man.Grösses, nicht?
Woman.Yah!
[They stand admiring.
Austin.By the way, when you answer your brother's letter, I wish you'd say I seemed surprised he was still in New York.
Jinny.[Reading.] Um—um—
Man.[Wiping his warm brow.]Wunderbaum!
Woman.Yah!!
[They go out Left, talking.
Jinny.[Looking up from her letter.] Oh! what do you think?
Austin.That you're the sweetest woman in the world.
Jinny.No,darling, I meanwhodo you think Geoffrey says is over here and in Italy?
Austin.I haven't the most remote idea! So far asI'vebeen able to observe there has been absolutelyno onein Italy butyou and me.
Jinny.If you keep on talking like that, I shall kiss you!
Austin.What! before the tall, white gentleman? [Motioning to Apollo.] I am dumb.
Jinny.[Very lovingly.] Silly! Well!—Mrs. Cullingham and Peter are over here and have brought Ruth Chester!
Austin.[Speaking without thinking.] Then itwasher back.
Jinny.[With the smallest sharpening of the look in her eye.] When?
Austin.That I saw just now.
Jinny.[With the tiniest suggestion of a strain in her voice.] You said you didn't know whom it reminded you of.
Austin.Yes, I know, I didn't quite.
Jinny.But if you thought it was Ruth Chester, why not have said so?
Austin.No reason, dear, I simply didn't think.
Jinny.Well— [Sententiously.] —next time—think!
Austin.What else does Geoffrey say?
Jinny.Oh, nothing. The heat for two days was frightful—already they miss me more than he can say—
[Interrupted.
Austin.I'll bet.
Jinny.Father smoked nineteen cigars a day the first week I was gone.
Austin.Ihaven'thadto smokeany!
Jinny.Mercy! don't boast!—and he thinks they will all soon go to Long Island for the summer.
Austin.Doesn't he say a word nor a hint at his going West?
Jinny.No, he says he may go to Newport for August, and that's all.
[Putting away letter, and getting out others.
Austin.Going to read all those?
Jinny.If you don't mind, while I rest.Doyou mind?
Austin.Of course not, but I think while you're reading I'll just take a little turn and see if I can't come across the Cullinghams.
[Rising.
Jinny.[After the merest second's pause, and looking seriously at him.] Why don't you?
Austin.I'll bring them here if I find them—
[He goes out Right.
[Jinnylooks up where he went off and gazes, motionless, for a few moments. Then she throws off the mood and opens a letter.
[Two tired Americans enter Right, a girl and her mother,Mrs. LoppandCarrie.
Mrs. Lopp.What's this, Carrie?
Carrie.[Looking in her Baedeker.] I don't know; I've sort of lost my place, somehow!
Mrs. Lopp.Well, we must be in Room No. 3 or 4—ain't we?
Carrie.[Reads out.] The big statue at the end of Room No. 3 is Diana the Huntress.
Mrs. Lopp.This must be it, then,—Diana! Strong-looking woman, ain't she?
Carrie.Yes, very nice. You know she was the goddess who wouldn't let the men see her bathe.
Mrs. Lopp.Mercy, Carrie! and did all the other goddesses? I don't think much of their habits. I suppose this is the same person those Italians sell on the streets at home, and call the Bather.
[Jinnyis secretly very much amused, finally she speaks.
Jinny.Excuse me, but you are in one of the cabinets—and this is the Apollo Belvedere.
Mrs. Lopp.Oh, thank you very much. I guess we've got mixed up with the rooms,—seems as if there's so many.
Carrie.[Triumphantly.] There! Ithoughtit was a man all the time!
Mrs. Lopp.Well, what with so many of the statues only being piecemeal, as it were, and so many of the men having kinder women's hair,I declare it seems as if I don't know the ladies from the gentlemen half the time.
Carrie.Did the rest of us go through here?
Jinny.I beg your pardon?
Carrie.Thirty-four people with a gassy guide? We got so tired hearing him talk that we jes' sneaked off by ourselves, and now we're a little scared about getting home; we belong to the Cook's Gentlemen and Ladies.
Jinny.Oh, no, the others haven't passed through here; probably they have gone to see the pictures; you'd better go back and keep asking the attendants the way to the pictures till you get there.
Mrs. Lopp.[With rather subdued voice.] Thank you! We've come to do Europe and the Holy Land in five weeks for $400—but I don't know, seems as if I'm getting awful tired—after jes' sevin days.
Carrie.[Affectionately.] Now, mommer, don't give up; it's because you haven't got over being seasick yet; that's all!
Jinny.[Helplessly.] Oh, yes, you'll find it much less tiring in a few days, I'm sure.
Mrs. Lopp.Still Rome does seem a powerful way fromhome! How'll we ask for the pictures?
Carrie.Why, mommer! "Tableaux!" "Tableaux!" I should think you'd 'a' learned that from our church entertainments! Good-by; thank you ever so much.
Mrs. Lopp.You haven't lostyour party, too, have you?
Jinny.[Smiling.] I hope not! Hepromisedto come back!!
Mrs. Lopp.Oh! pleased to have met you—Good-by!
[They start off Left.
Jinny.No, not that way—back the way you came.
Mrs. Lopp.Oh, thank you!
[She drops her black silk bag; out of it drop crackers, an account book, a thimble, a thread-and-needle case, a bottle of pepsin tablets, etc. They all stoop to pick the collection up,Jinnyhelping.
Jinny.[Handing.] I'm sure you'll want these!
Mrs. Lopp.Yes, indeed; don't you find them coupon meals very dissatisfactory?
Carrie.Thank you ever so much again. Come on, mommer!
[Mrs. LoppandCarriego out Left.
[Jinnylooks at her watch and goes back to her letter.
[Mrs. Cullinghamenters Left.
Mrs. Cullingham.[Screams.] Jinny!
Jinny.[Jumps up.] Mrs. Cullingham! [They embrace.] Did Jack find you?
Mrs. Cullingham.No, we haven't seen him! Ruth and Peter are dawdling along, each on their own; I like to shoot through a gallery. There's no use spending so much time; when it's over you've mixed everything all up just the same!
Jinny.[Laughing.] Well, I've this minute read a letter from Geoffrey saying you were over here. And Jack, who thought he got a glimpse of you a little while ago, went straight off to try and find you.
Mrs. Cullingham.What fun it is to see you—and howhappyyou look!
Jinny.I couldn'tlookas happy as Ifeel!
Mrs. Cullingham.[Glancing at the statue.] Who's your friend? Nice gent, isn't he?
[Laughing.
Jinny.Mr. Apollo! Would you like to meet him?
Mrs. Cullingham.[Hesitates.] Er—no—I don't think! You must draw the line somewhere! He wouldn't do a thing to Corbett, would he?
Jinny.Who was Corbett?
Mrs. Cullingham.He was a prize fighter, andis—but that's another story— Do you mean to say you've never heard of him?
Jinny.Oh, the name sounds familiar. But this, you know, is Apollo.
Mrs. Cullingham.No, I don't know; was he a champion?
Jinny.No, he was a Greek god!
Mrs. Cullingham.Oh, was he? Well, I wouldn't have cared about being in the tailoring business in those days, would you? Let's sit down. [They sit on bench Right.] Of course youknow we wouldn't accept a thing like that in Peoria, where I come from, as a gift! No, indeed! If the King of Italy sent it over to our Mayor, he'd return it C.O.D.
Jinny.Sounds like Boston and the Macmonnies Bacchante!
Mrs. Cullingham.Oh, my dear,worsethan that! It reminds me of a man at home who kept an underclothing store in our principal street and had a plaster cast of this gent's brother, I should think, in his window to show a suit of Jaegers on,—you know, a "combination"! And our Town Committee of Thirteen for the moral improvement of Peoria made the man take it out of his window and hang the suit up empty!
Jinny.Poor man!
Mrs. Cullingham.You ought to see our Park!—you know we've got a perfectly beautifulpark,—and all themenstatues wear Prince Alberts, and stand like this— [She poses with lifted arm at right angle to body.] —as if they were saying, "This way out" or "To the monkey cage and zoo."
Jinny.[Laughing.] But the women statues?
Mrs. Cullingham.My dear! They only have heads and hands; all the rest's just clumps of drapery—we only have "Americans" and "Libertys," anyway. They apply the Chinese emigration law to all Venuses andsich ladies!
[They both laugh.
Jinny.Where did you say Peter and Ruth were?
Mrs. Cullingham.Well, I left Peter—who isn't at all well; I hoped this trip would help his indigestion, but it seems to have made it worse!—I left him—er—in a room with a lot ofbroken-upVenuses—I thought it was all right; he was eating candy, and there wasn't a whole woman among 'em!
Jinny.[Slight strain in her voice.] How did you happen to bring over Ruth Chester?
Mrs. Cullingham.Well, you know I always liked her. She never snubbed me in her life—I don't think any one you've introduced me to has been quite so nice to Peter and me as Mrs. Chester and her daughter.
Jinny.O theyarereal people!
Mrs. Cullingham.Ruth is terribly depressed over something. She's thin as a rail and the family are worried. She says there's nothing worrying her, and the doctors can't find anything the matter with her,—so Mrs. Chester asked me if I wouldn't take her abroad. They thought the voyage and change might do her good, and Iseem to have a more cheery influence over her than most people. So here we are! [AsPeterenters Left, eating.] Here's Peter! How do you think the darling looks?
Peter.How do you do, Mrs. Austin?
Jinny.How do you do, Peter? [They shake hands.] I'm sorry to hear you are seedy, but you eat too many sweet things.
Peter.I'm not eating candy; it's soda mints! [Showing a small bottle.] Iambad to-day, mother.
Mrs. Cullingham.If you don't get better, we'll go to Carlsbad.
Jinny.How do you like Rome, Peter?
Peter.Oh, I don't know—too much Boston and not enough Chicago to make it a real lively town.
Jinny.[Laughing.] I think I'll go look for Jack and tell him you've turned up.
Mrs. Cullingham.Perhaps he's found Ruth.
Jinny.[With a change in her voice.] Yes, perhaps.
[She goes out Right.
Peter.[Going to the doorway Right, calls after her.] Ruth's in a room on your left, with rows of men's heads on shelves, Emperors and things,—but gee, such ajob lot!
[Comes back and looks up at the statue.
Mrs. Cullingham.Isn't it beautiful, Peter?
Peter.No, it'stoo big!
Mrs. Cullingham.Still this one isn't broken!
Peter.That's a comfort! Yes, it has been mended, too! [Examining.] Oh, yes, it's only another of these second-hand statues. Say, you missed one whole one, the best I've seen yet! A Venus off in a fine little room, all mosaics and painted walls,—that's where I've been.
Mrs. Cullingham.Why, Peter Cullingham!Alone?What kind of a Venus?
Peter.Oh, beautiful! I forgot to take my medicine!
Mrs. Cullingham.Was she—er—dressed, darling?
Peter.We—you know—shehadbeen, but she'd sort of pushed it a good way off!
Mrs. Cullingham.[With a sigh.] You know weoughtto admire these things, Peter darling; that's partly what we've come to Europe for!
Peter.O pshaw! here comes a gang of tourists. Come on, let's skip!
Mrs. Cullingham.But Ruth and Mrs. Austin?
Peter.We didn't agree to wait, and we can all meet at our hotel.
[A crowd ofTourists, led by aGuide, presses and crowds in the doorway. They dragtheir tired feet in a listless shuffle across the room and stand in a somewhat sheepish and stupid bunch at the statue. One or two of the younger women nudge each other and giggle. TheGuidestands a little in advance of them. TheGuidedescribes the statue, and while he is doing soPeterandMrs. Cullinghamgo out Right. Most of theTouriststurn and watch them go instead of looking at the statue.